Simps are the problem.

MarioWilson122 · 2026-04-14T21:34:52+00:00

That sounds good on paper, but it ignores the reality most men are dealing with. You can’t just tell men to “raise standards” when a lot of them don’t have a deep pool of options to choose from. For many guys, it’s not high standards vs low standards, it’s accept what’s available or get nothing at all.That’s why this idea that simps are the root problem is too simple.

A lot of that behavior comes from scarcity, not just lack of self-respect. When options are limited, men adjust to stay in the game. If they all suddenly stopped, it wouldn’t magically fix women’s expectations, it would just push a large number of men out of dating entirely.That view is too narrow because it assumes men have equal leverage when they don’t. Standards only work when you can afford to walk away. A lot of men can’t, so telling them to act like they can doesn’t solve anything.

Kingcrow33 · 2026-04-14T14:58:14+00:00

Can you describe the behaviors of a simp? Without that we can't have this conversation.

toasterchild · 2026-04-14T17:32:47+00:00

I thought men were mad at women for not liking simp behavior anymore and instead requiring the guy to actually be attractive now? It's almost like no matter what women do there will be a group of men it pisses off who assume all women do it.

Most women dislike being played to, they just want to have normal ass conversations with a man who also finds them attractive. We want friendship with a side of sex life.

Women who want to play assigned gender roles exist but in much smaller numbers than ever, avoid dating those types if you don't like the behavior.

autistic_cool_kid · 2026-04-14T15:06:45+00:00

You already posted the exact same post bruh

https://np.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/s/yY2e0u5XSP

Hot-Law2682 · 2026-04-14T15:40:44+00:00

You can't say simps are thirsty and desperate when your standard for being a simp is "pays for a date" and "acts chivalrous". By this logic most men have been simps since dating became a thing.

You don't have to put in effort if you don't want to but for a lot of guys building a relationship with someone is worth spending $50 on a meal and being a nice person.

Also if men stopped "simping" all the issues with dating would just get worse. Women would gravitate even more strongly towards the most attractive men, people wouldn't commit, women would drop out of dating, etc.

lesliecarbone · 2026-04-14T14:53:53+00:00

INFO: What are women's "unrealistic expectations of men"?

BobtheArcher2018 · 2026-04-14T15:17:07+00:00

Still ignores the elephant in the room: female attraction and selectivity levels to men. If--and it is an open question--women are as innately selective as many posit, then simping is all these guys offer. So if they stop simping, then they just lose what female attention they got. Probably for the best because it was not sincere attention. But the end of simping wouldn't change much for the men women actually desire. Women don't expect crazy unequal treatment from such men; indeed, sometimes the simping can go the other way.

KayRay1994 · 2026-04-14T15:01:28+00:00

I think you’re seriously overestimating the role of simps as they’re not exactly respected and the vast majority of women do not, in fact, get simps.

HungryDepth5918 · 2026-04-14T14:51:31+00:00

Massive generalizations.

leosandlattes · 2026-04-14T15:11:59+00:00

This is worded like simps are running the dating scene lol which is not the case. Also, a simp is not really that a man has no standards aside from looks, it's that he shows excessive attention, usually in the form of gifts and money, in hopes that the woman chooses him.

Men being chivalrous, men paying for dates, has nothing to do with simping. Here you're revealing that you think any kind of man paying for dates is a simp. Wanting men to pay for a date, or at least offer to pay for the date, is not an unrealistic expectation. Certainly not in the region and culture I'm from, where "courting" in a modern sense is still alive and well. Courting is not simping either, and if you think it is, that's terrible brain rot.

Content_Concert_2555 · 2026-04-14T16:25:47+00:00

I’ve never seen a simp then other than maybe a few losers who no woman wants. The guys who only care about looks and getting laid only chase hookups.

YeaNobody · 2026-04-14T17:33:48+00:00

This will never happen...it's like saying the world would be better off if everyone got along. Men inevitably want women and more then a few have absolutely nothing to offer back, whether that be personality, status, wealth, ect.

Purple_Nectarine2084 · 2026-04-14T18:27:14+00:00

they dont have real standards (beyond physical appearance) when it comes to women

You think too much of them. Chopped women get simps all the time.

LilRedMoon__ · 2026-04-14T21:03:07+00:00

describe simp. also i keep hearing about these ridiculously high standards of women yet no one says what they are…

matthedev · 2026-04-14T23:35:03+00:00

Why do you think men started "simping" more than days when you believe dating was easier (I'm assuming you believe dating used to be easier for heterosexual men ten, twenty, or thirty years ago)?

Naebany · 2026-04-15T12:46:16+00:00

Nah. The problem is women being hypergamous. Dating market would be fixed if women wouldn't just gun for the top guys and would be fine with their looksmatch.

JM3541 · 2026-04-14T14:54:21+00:00

It's both's fault. Women take advantage of simps and use it for leverage with men who actually have self worth. Stop making it one genders fault. Women are the CEO's of online dating and men are the employees. Women have more value because there are less of them(CEO) however that doesn't make it right for them to make 25 million a year while the employees(men) make pennies on the dollar.

ConTrikster · 2026-04-14T15:58:42+00:00

Yes this gets posted quite often everywhere.

If men were less tolerant of things then of course some improvement would appear. I do also think it would incentives women to only go out with guys they are absolutely attracted to though, as they know they can’t get a benefit in general otherwise anymore. At that point you might as well only date somebody you truly got the hots for as nothing else is promised.

But this same logic of being strict applies the other way around sort of also. If women stopped giving it up easy to fuck boys then there would be some incentives to change behavior (although mist guys don’t really have the ability to be fuckboyz so that is a huhe caveat).

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Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-04-14T15:09:40+00:00

What are the activities and interactions of a “simp” to you?

il_nascosto · 2026-04-14T18:51:00+00:00

Bullshit. Simping is not the only way to get a woman, it is the best way to NOT EVER get laid! The best way to get a woman is to grow a pair of big hairy ones and be a man, with all that entails.

grillopie · 2026-04-14T19:15:49+00:00

First, whats a simp? my understanding is it is someone who never gets anything from the woman but tries to give gifts or compliments to somehow change her mind, which will never happen.

going by that definition, i dont see how that affects anything at all. If youre intent on buying supreme clothes, would the sales that gap offers really affect your opinion on supreme? no.

if youre definition of simp is simply a guy who in your opinion does too much for a woman who really likes him, whatever he is doing wouldnt be an unrealistic expectation.

Creative_cacti · 2026-04-14T19:24:06+00:00

Simps create problems for themselves. Dating dynamics between men and women broadly, are fine.

RakeChapman13 · 2026-04-14T23:08:18+00:00

The generalization that simps have made women as a whole entitled is bullshit. These minority of entitled thots you see on podcasts like fresh and fit don’t even come close to representing most women.

Ronniebbb · 2026-04-15T00:00:59+00:00

Okay what is a simp? Cus I've heard such a range of what classifies a simp. To some my husband and I being equal partners and him not ruling the roost makes him a simple. To others it's guys who have no issues with their partner wearing the pants so to speak, or sleeping around or partying.

So what is being a simp?

wtknight · 2026-04-15T15:07:10+00:00

If men stopped simping overnight, a lot of the dating problems would get solved.

I don’t agree with your view, because women aren’t attracted to most men just for them “being themselves” in some kind of vacuum. Men usually have to display some kind of “courtship” type behavior in order to attract many women. The problem with simping is that it’s either an overdoing of that necessary courtship, or it’s attempting to court a woman who will 100% never be open to that courtship.

Of course some men are attractive enough to attract a given woman without him having to do a single specific thing toward her in order to attract her, but I really think that this is an exception rather than the rule for most men.

wellendowedgoat · 2026-04-15T20:23:22+00:00

You're only a simp if you put a lot of time, effort and money into it, get nothing in return and have nothing to show for it. A mediocre looking rich man who puts effort and uses his money to fuck, date and most importantly reproduce with a very beautiful woman is not a simp if he gets what he wants. He is winning. At worst you can call him superficial or transactional, but that's about it. He is just exchanging what he has in abundance for what he wants - a pretty face to look at, a tight body to have sex with, a beautiful woman on his arms to increase his status in all social setting and most importantly he is more likely to have good looking kids, which will do on average better professionally, socially and especially romantically/sexually, basically ensure the continuation of his genetic lineage.

Most people, men and women included, are no prize whatsoever. When you're in the 50th percentile of desirability relative to other members of your sex, you can't afford to be picky. Some average looking man or woman that believes they are the prize and that people, let alone attractive people, will go to great lengths to be with them, to put herculean levels of effort into it, to worship the ground they walk upon, will just get humbled by reality sooner or later. You can believe what you want, but if the math ain't mathing, believing you're the prize is just delusion.

Foreign_Look8668 · 2026-04-16T10:04:47+00:00

https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/releases/breaking-the-norm-experiment-makes-men-and-women-equally-picky-when-selecting-a-mate.html
Some of the "traditions" of dating just set men up for failure more easily. This study really shows that when you are the approacher, you standards tend to mellow out while as the approachee, you raise your standards. If we think about it being the approachee, you have a greater illusion of options as well as actually viable ones.

So it doesn't cost that much to you to raise your standards to filter out people even more cause you are filtering from a known sample size of people interested. You don't have to worry about being appealing so much.

As the approacher, you're more concerned about being accepted by the people you pick and in a situation where you know noone is going after you, you forgo any overthinking regarding a person's qualities and just go for it cause that is your only way to move things along. Which is why approachers usually have a wider net, and are less picky initially.

In cultures where men are perpetually put in the position of the pursuer and women the pursued; the effects of this dynamic is compounded.

Yes, they are men who unhealthy pander to the women they date and do way too much for affection, but this does fall in line with the pursuer role as they try to "out compete" other pursuers. Not all gender roles are harmful but this one does a number on men and women.

It may benefit women most times but i've come to realize that the idea of so many options paralyzes people from make a good choice. Even when someone does end up making a decision, it may not be a thoughtful one. It may not be one that deeply satisfies them and what they will truly appreciate in a relationship.

For men, being in this situation makes a lot of them almost completely forfeit most of want and/or need in relationships. They just want to get in. That comes with a whole bunch of problems too.

I think strictly following this dynamic doesn't serve both sides and people would gain a lot from playing these roles loosely and interchangeably. As you won't be easily affected by the pitfalls of either effect and how you handle romantic encounters may be more balanced and fruitful.

Men who know how to play the pursuer role well, i think, usually capitalizes it very well and in ways that are not in the best interest of a particular woman; same way some women know how to play the pursuee role very well and take advantage of this dynamics by exploiting "simps".

Adept_Entertainer_16 · 2026-04-18T14:50:49+00:00

Why is female behaviour always to be dependent on or as a result of male behaviour? Feminists talk this way as well. Do women have no agency of their own?

Hanyu95 · 2026-04-19T06:23:33+00:00

i have more respect for rapists than simps.

Beautiful_Mirror_203 · 2026-05-11T21:16:58+00:00

I only see a problem if the relationship is abusive but some ppl like it. I need me a simp!

Large_Bed_4251 · 2026-04-14T16:55:20+00:00

You need to get to the root of the problem, which is that women (feminist and traditionalist mothers alike) brainwash their sons to be women's servants/army/ATM/punching bag and daughters to expect this from men.

That being said, I don't think it's too much to ask for grown men to throw off this conditioning.

OldStatement7037 · 2026-04-14T18:11:14+00:00

This is 100% True. Women on mass want to follow the herd and fit in. If you arent fitting in they will shame and try to force you to fit in.

But they only want men who STAND OUT. So, listening to women is what exactly makes them not want you.

The majority of our problems is that we listened to women's words when there is no real action behind them. There have been social experiments of toddlers displaying the same behaviors. The girls will sit there and cry and not do anything to solve the problem. While the boys solve problems right away and she copies after. Equality doesnt do anything because women still expect men to do all the things for her that makes her "equal". Like her winning a race that men carried her through.

Simping is the problem because men dont understand that women will mindlessly complain for no reason. Like an alarm system for any emotion she feels. No matter how minor. Chickens cluck all day. Mindlessly expressing emotions. And not a single word of value is said. No action.

An example is women getting fat. You suggest fitness as a man to a woman you are demonized. Stick that woman in Japan or another country where women are in shape? Magically those same women who fight you are losing weight to fit in. Social shaming for women's bad behavior needs to be brought back. You literally have a country full of women who will do all those things once they leave to live somewhere else.

It doesn't matter if she complains about never getting to drive the car. The moment she does drive it she will crash it into a wall, exit it and leave you to clean up the mess and take no accountability. And society as a whole is destroying itself because women refuse to listen to anything we already figured out 1,000 years ago. They will just get up and leave the wreckage to us.

il_nascosto · 2026-04-14T18:45:54+00:00

100%. Simps give low value women undue power, and has led to an overall feminization of men, which ironically, most women find unattractive! Women like strong men who can get things done and can withstand what life throws at them, not bitchmade simps.

Also 100% agree that our obsession with “fat shaming” is actually detrimental to health and well being. A little healthy social shaming is a good thing!

LostAppointment329 · 2026-04-14T15:10:07+00:00

I disagree. Simps are looking for a connection with a woman and the only way possible for them to get attention from a woman is by simping for her. They think she’ll like them more if they act that way.

They can’t get attention in IRL or in dating apps, so simping is their only way for that

Theawkwardmochi · 2026-04-15T23:42:00+00:00

Simps are not a problem. They're just a subset of men with questionable standards that get together with a particular kind of woman.

They are men that other women aren't interested in, and these women who like simps aren't interesting to men who aren't interested in simping.

Jephta · 2026-04-16T15:28:03+00:00

Paying for a meal and holding a door for her is not simping. That's picking your battles lol

Simping is when you put up with shit that should be a boundary you set. Or when you pretend to agree with some stupid shit just because it's a way to suck up to her.

Simping is kind of a self-solving problem because simps shoot themselves in the foot. Women aren't actually attracted to simps. They get friendzoned perpetually.

Enough-Business-8287 · 2026-04-17T09:41:31+00:00

Where in the hell are these women who wanna men they aren't interested in to pay them a dinner? As a matter of principles, if I have a boyfriend, I always try to share my bills in an equitable way with him and so do almost all of my girl friends.

Salty-Map-942 · 2026-04-14T15:32:08+00:00

On point actually! But to some degree, as you said with most men simping to some level, it's arguably natural, as we tend to be the pursuiters and wooers in most human societies in history.

Title	Simps are the problem.
Author	Slow_Celebration1328
Upvotes	41
Comments	211
Date	April 14, 2026 2:43 PM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1slaqjp/simps_are_the_problem/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/simps-are-the-problem.1577937 https://theredarchive.com/post/1577937

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