Virgin shaming isnt real.

John_Oakman · 2024-08-01T15:45:05+00:00

But why is a male's lack of sexual experience tacked on to designate his [supposed] lack of moral virtues? Is there a causation between the two?

McTitty3000 · 2024-08-01T15:36:48+00:00

I have never seen guys for insulted for being virgins unless they say something stupid or misogynistic

So this right here just tells me everything lol, you're already admitting it's real so virgin shaming for men is absolutely real, when a guy says something that's even slightly critical about women, one of the first things that they talk about is how he can't get laid, "that's a lot of words for I've never made a woman orgasm before", or maybe he's got a little dick etc., and so on and so forth both men and women do that. And with the varying degrees that particularly feminists have stretched the meaning of the word "misogynistic" I'm not buying that aspect of your argument either lol

Do I have any peer reviewed Harvard studies where they interviewed 20 people and made a national thing out of it? No but I'm sure somebody could do some kind of social experiment and ask a hundred guys of different ages if they were ever mocked for being a virgin or had their lack of sexual experience used against them in a way at any point of their lives lol

KingofRheinwg · 2024-08-01T16:11:56+00:00

Golly jeepers gotta post the article again.

https://slatestarcodex.com/2014/08/31/radicalizing-the-romanceless/

Part 3 has multiple quotes from fairly large feminist publications mocking men who can't get laid.

"Incel" is the insult du jour and you can find women in every place stating any negative trait is incel behavior. Having an unleashed dog is apparently indicative that you're maidenless (although in that example, the person with the unleashed dog was a woman, and therefore has sex and it's all good).

A couple weeks ago I entered into a wager with someone who claimed it would be difficult to get dates on tinder as a woman. If you genuinely believe that women do not mock men for being virgins, I'd like to make my time worthwhile in the form of a wager. I'm trying to not just say "Google it sweetie" but I'm also gobsmacked that you've never experienced or noticed this before.

I will find: news articles or blog posts with a readership of over 1000 eyeballs. Videos with over 1000 views. Reddit comments or posts with over 100 upvotes Twitter/ Facebook posts with over 100 up votes. The author of the article/ comment/ post must identify themselves as a woman, or must have a feminine sounding name (no taylors etc). The contents of the media must either directly mock men for being celibate, or must ascribe negative traits not typically associated to relationship success (eg having an unleashed dog) to a person being celibate. If I can find 12 of them by the end of the weekend, you donate $25 to doctors without borders or your local humane society. If I can't, I will donate to the charity of your choice graded 4 stars on charity navigator. I am willing to go higher but I don't know your financial situation. Failing to donate after proof or lack of proof is provided will result in one of our hardworking and diligent mods banning the offender from the sub.

Do you have any other stipulations you'd like to include?

E: actually let's do mid week next week I'm gonna be on a boat all weekend.

untamed-italian · 2024-08-01T16:39:06+00:00

Virgin shaming isnt real.

Lol, I've seen you call dudes virgins for disagreeing with you.

I have never seen guys for insulted for being virgins unless they say something stupid or misogynistic.

So it is real. Pack up the thread.

In fact, I mainly see guys mock other guys for being virgins. Even then, it was movies like American Pie, where the focus is on a guy trying to get laid.

"Guys do it too so it must be ok, I've seen it in movies!"

From my experience, most people actually dont care and its the virgins themselves bothered because most people are screwing by 18.

Yeah that is typically how bullying works. It seems trivial to everyone but the victims.

psych0ticmonk · 2024-08-01T18:16:31+00:00

Forget hot take. This is a dumpster fire of a take and just shoves the head directly into the flaming garbage.

Spirited-Ship-1041 · 2024-08-01T16:26:04+00:00

This is one of the most dumbest posts I have ever seen in my life.

The term incel in itself tend to insult men's lack of sex. And men who are incels are alot more likely to virgins.

Tokimonatakanimekat · 2024-08-01T15:57:19+00:00

I've never seen women being raped, guess rape isn't real then.

ImpossibleJaguar2727 · 2024-08-01T15:39:45+00:00

Virgin shaming is absolutely a real thing, and your claim that guys don't insulted for the actual virginity is a false statement. As for my anecdotal experience, I've had multiple women insult using my virginity against me knowing it would be a hard blow to my self esteem.

Tons of men have experiences that are similar, being looked down upon and automatically being labeled a creep due to sexual inexperience. The women treat men who are socially awkward and are presumed to be virgins and men who are known to be virgins can be absolutely horrible, as if we had a contagious virus or a disease.

Even if women only use the insult in the presence of other shitty behavior (which isn't always the case), it still does signal that virginity is associated with negativity, kinda like when people use the phrase "gay" to express when something is lame.

Virgin is absolutely real, just because YOU may not pay attention to it because it doesn't affect you doesn't mean it isn't real. The men who are affected by it are keenly aware of it.

Electric_Death_1349 · 2024-08-01T16:32:52+00:00

You’ve contradicted yourself by citing ‘American Pie’, one the more famous films in a subgenera where male virginity and men’s sexual failings are the butt of a running joke - granted, that film is twenty years old and would not be made today, but the hapless male virgin is a well established cultural trope, which has bee around for decades. I was a teen when this subgenera was at its apex in the 00s, and believe me, male virgins were shamed and ridiculed

PrettyBoysenberry867 · 2024-08-01T16:34:04+00:00

Virgin shaming is as real as slut shaming, and a Google search should yield enough results to convince this isn't an isolated phenomenon. As a shy virgin, I was shamed and made fun of for being a virgin. As someone with a body count under 10, I was told I didn't I have enough experience and made fun of. I would absolutely say that my experiences are tempered by growing up with suburbanites with nothing better to do than act like jersey shore and bad girls club extras, and as I've gotten older most people care less- but formative experiences showed me that there's very little room to be present as anything but a sexual dynamo who's confident enough to hold space for my partners' insecurities while not having any of my own.

The only reach I'd make, is to say that many "insecurities" I had were a direct result of lacking experiences that would give me a positive framework for them.

Crimson-Pilled · 2024-08-01T16:16:20+00:00

Actually, if you visit any female-oriented subreddit, they are very clear that they think lonely men in general deserve it. Granted, they'll attribute bad qualities to these men, but that's a discrimination made against them after the fact.

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2024-08-01T17:07:50+00:00

I have never seen guys for insulted for being virgins unless they say something stupid or misogynistic.

That's still virgin shaming though. The fact that it's used as an insult means that it's shameful.

hylander4 · 2024-08-01T17:35:19+00:00

All I can say is that I was a virgin far later into my life than is normal, and I felt immense shame because of it. I also went to great lengths to hide the fact that I was a virgin—eg whenever the topic of sex came up in a conversation, I’d try to subtly change the topic, deflect any questions that came my way, or quietly leave the group. So maybe the overt shaming didn’t happen very often, because I put a lot of effort into hiding my virgin status from other people.

Regardless of where the shaming is coming from, the shame is definitely a real thing. My case isn’t unique at all.

kvakerok_v2 · 2024-08-01T16:37:38+00:00

Does anyone have any form proof that women mock men for being virgin?

Are you actually stupid or just pretending? They use a different term: incel. Did you miss how the whole world mixed virgins in with involuntary celibate people, and decided to take a collective shit on them?

bifewova234 · 2024-08-01T16:50:47+00:00

Sure. Just go to Reddit and get called a neckbeard incel when you disagree with people.

arvada14 · 2024-08-01T18:01:10+00:00

Jeez, even some of the blue pill guys are saying this is bullshit. Virgin-shaming of men is prominent from both men and women. Just like height shaming and small dick jokes. This post tries to justify virgin shaming by saying it only happens to stupid or mysoginistic comments. But what does virginity have to do with that? Most men who hurt women are in a relationship with those women, as the ladies here like to remind us?

shadowrangerfs · 2024-08-01T16:17:18+00:00

How are we defining shaming? Just because something isn't overt doesn't mean it doesn't send the same message. Women saying, "I wouldn't date a virgin" or "I prefer a man with experience" is still sending the message that something is wrong with a man who hasn't had sex.

Digedag · 2024-08-01T15:42:17+00:00

It's a bit like an inverse of Halo. You start attributing negative traits to them as reason for their virginity - just like you did in this post.

I mainly see guys mock other guys for being virgins

And it hurts them little, because the insult is coming from another man.

Ok-Dust-4156 · 2024-08-01T17:51:00+00:00

There's a reason why late virgins are advised not to tell about thier virginity unless asked directly.

Familiar-Cable7021 · 2024-08-01T18:12:10+00:00

People get shamed for literally everything under the sun, so the whole point is totally invalid because your basing your entire point on you not seeing examples of it. Just because YOU don't see it, doesn't mean it's not there.

In my own experience, i've seen unattractive guys & girls in school get called "virgin losers" (not because they said anything misogynistic or dumb), but because they weren't "conventionally attractive" (whatever that means).

Even ignoring that, just because someone says something reactionary, doesn't give you the right to suddenly be reactionary to them. If a fat person says something racist, its not okay then to go and fat shame them, and say "you're wrong because you're a fat loser"

They're wrong because they're a bigot. You don't get to insult someone's characteristics and be reactionary, just because they are. If a Palestinian says something bad about gays, you don't suddenly have the right to be racist to them.

TeaTreeTeach · 2024-08-01T18:41:59+00:00

Here’s some video proof:

clip from CUT

There’s dating shows all over YouTube of women mocking men for being a virgin, and how they’ll NEVER date them or give them a chance etc.

In my opinion, I think these women deep down feel contempt because they wish they weren’t as promiscuous.

DaddyStone13 · 2024-08-01T18:01:58+00:00

all this post did was prove that this sub is pointless and that women couldn't give less of a shit about men.

Gullible_Amoeba6488 · 2024-08-01T16:10:39+00:00

I don't really see women shaming men for being a virgin apart from the overused, 'incel' insult they throw around in any type of argument. I've been called an incel numerous times despite not even being close to one.

Usually women shame men for being broke, bald, short, or having a small wang. Most of those things are a negative just like how women with a high N count, single moms, old, unattractive are etc...

Men and women value different things at the end of the day so their tactics to shame the other side will be different.

bluestjuice · 2024-08-01T17:07:35+00:00

Clarification: is your position that people don’t use words or phrases suggesting virginity or lack of sexual prowess as insults?

Or is your position that it doesn’t matter what insult forms are used, it only matters whether virgin men who are not assholes experience shaming about their virginity, which you contend they don’t.

TallFoundation7635 · 2024-08-01T19:36:59+00:00

Would you make the same claim that it is okay to call someone a racial slur if he said something that is negative towards your gender or race?

Hefty-Lobster-5513 · 2024-08-01T20:01:05+00:00

“Never felt the touch of a woman” is most definitely mocking someone for being a virgin. So yes, women do mock men for being/appearing as virgins.

FirmQuarter6623 · 2024-08-01T20:24:43+00:00

Does anyone have any form proof that women mock men for being virgin?

How long are you on this sub? Why do you think women are on this sub?

I'm not reading this bs after first stupid sentence.

Cablepussy · 2024-08-01T21:20:13+00:00

Virgin shaming is a subsidiary of sexual shaming, sexual shaming is alive and well for both men and women, it takes different forms depending on if you’re a man or a woman.

You trying to deny it as exactly why it’s still a problem.

Upset_Material_3372 · 2024-08-01T22:04:27+00:00

Most women wouldn’t even consider a virgin past his teens.

grown_folks_talkin · 2024-08-01T22:19:38+00:00

I’ve heard it quite often, not women going out of their way to mock virgins but state a preference for not wanting to deal with them. It’s in the culture.

Abortion_is_Murder93 · 2024-08-02T00:49:08+00:00

Oh it’s another Lilith post

ArmariumEspada · 2024-08-01T15:51:56+00:00

Most women value sexual prowess and sexual skill in a man, and most won’t date or marry a man who can’t sexually satisfy a woman.

alebruto · 2024-08-01T16:36:19+00:00

I've been mocked by women who thought I was a virgin, and I wasn't even 20 years old, imagine if I were 32 like today.

I've seen a group of single mothers leaving a church, making fun of a member of the church because he was a virgin, they did it behind his back, I almost dated one of them and that was one of the reasons why I didn't want to do it anymore (ironically she married a virgin man and had children with him later), they are the type of false Christians who go to church to reset their mileage.

There are also several videos on YouTube of women saying that they would never date a virgin man.

Anyway, there is no shortage of examples that you are wrong.

Saddestgirl49 · 2024-08-04T07:02:11+00:00

Yeah i don't think it's a thing, I wish my boyfriend was a virgin.

Inomaker · 2024-08-01T15:49:59+00:00

From what I've seen, Virgin shaming has only happened online in an indirect manner. To be clear, this is an anecdote. But I often see posts shaming incels. I often see incel being used as an insult. You don't need to be directly shamed by someone to feel shame about it. If someone insults another person for being an incel virgin, why would it not apply to you? You don't need to be directly insulted to feel insulted. Teasing and insulting another person for things that also apply to me feels just the same as insulting me.

KGmagic52 · 2024-08-01T17:04:03+00:00

Bunch of misandrist malarkey. Nobody can show you proof you refuse to see. It's clear that you've established a pattern where, even if you were presented with perfect examples, you can just hand wave it away by attributing something negative to the man involved such that he "deserves" the shaming. Virgin is only synonymous with bitter, hateful misogynist in your head. Sure, there are virgins who are those things, but you're trying to meld them into the same word. You are blinded by your need to blame men who don't deserve it by lumping them in with men who do and never letting them escape that category.

ScarletRedShadow · 2024-08-01T16:42:36+00:00

I think it's more of a case of poor behaviour from males and then the insult that is used is shaming them for being a virgin.

It's not so much just outright shaming them in general. It's instigated.

LongDongOfMojave776 · 2024-08-02T05:49:03+00:00

Earliest I can remember being mocked for being a virgin was at 17, by male and female coworkers, as I had apprenticeship back then. You have no fucking clue what you're talking about. I was literally asked if I am "screwing" anyone, which I replied, no. And was asked if I ever screwed, and I said "No", to which I was laughed at, and told that being a virgin at seven fucking teen was not very good.

SecondEldenLord · 2024-08-02T07:55:13+00:00

Another delusional out of touch post from Lillith. Virgin shaming is very real, incels get shamed a lot, and I don't mean the hateful ones, I mean the actual good men who happen to be unattractive and who happen to never had a relationship and who also happen to not hate women. Yes Lillith, good incels do exist. And not only are men shamed for being virgins, but also:

if they date younger women, they are called predators
if they refuse to date fat women, they are called fatphobic.
if they refuse to date trans women, they are called transphobic.
if they refuse to date women with high body count they are called insecure.

We as men are not even allowed to have preferences. And here is just one example of a man shamed for being a virgin. https://youtu.be/MO1ZewjkdU0?si=N2Md6r3nTZeKyA5D

YveisGrey · 2024-08-01T19:18:07+00:00

Slut shaming is vastly more common than “virgin shaming”

I actually wish women would make podcasts dedicated to shaming and mocking male virgin interviewees just so these men could experience what it really is to be shamed.

The truth is they feel ashamed about being a virgin and project that feeling onto others. Most people don’t care one bit about some random dudes virginity status.

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Title	Virgin shaming isnt real.
Author	LillthOfBabylon
Upvotes	0
Comments	320
Date	August 1, 2024 3:27 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1ehjhzd/virgin_shaming_isnt_real/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/virgin-shaming-isnt-real.1526010 https://theredarchive.com/post/1526010

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