What are some major changes in the mainstream perception about dating that you think happened in the last 20 years?

wtknight · 2022-09-13T17:19:07+00:00

"If women do the exact same thing (this objectification) but 'on their terms' its not only good and natural but empowering"

There is an anti-porn pushback now against the whole “sex is empowering” thing. I imagine that this whole phenomenon is cyclical and will inevitably swing back and forth from male objectification concerns to female bodily autonomy concerns. Men will invariably be attacked each round because women in general don’t like to admit that they are not a monolith and that some women like to use their sexual power for money while others are more concerned about the intrusiveness of male objectification.

I’ve even seen some women who are pro-sex work blame the economy and capitalism itself rather than men for forcing them to exploit themselves, which to me seems better reasoning than blaming men just for wanting to pay to see nude women.

KombuchaEnema · 2022-09-13T16:54:54+00:00

This whole idea that women are the ones who get “used” during sex.

More and more often I am seeing the opposite: men having sex with a woman, assuming there will be a relationship, and then getting his heart broken when he realizes she was just using him. Maybe she was horny, maybe she was trying to make her ex jealous, maybe she just wanted the single-use validation.

Either way, I can no longer see men spinning plates and think “oh that guy is a real alpha, he’s a player, he’s on top of the game.” In reality the women are using him just as much as he thinks he’s using them. They’re using him for his money. They’re using him for a quick fuck. They’re using him for clout on social media. They’re using him for the sexual validation.

Club thots, social media influencers, and sex workers are just as vicious and cold-hearted and manipulative as redpill guys try to be when they’re spinning plates.

I don’t think men will ever dominate women when it comes to social games. Women will always surpass men when it comes to social aggression. When it comes to the dating game, manipulative women will always dominate manipulative men.

I think the redpill (at least the pick-up artist side of it) is an illusion. It convinces men that they can one-up women because they are the gatekeepers of relationships.

But the women you think you’re using for “fun” are using you right back…and they’re getting more out of it. Belle Delphine is filthy rich. Sex workers and social media influencers are making bank and a lot of them are smart enough to invest before they hit the wall so their money keeps working for them long after their looks fade.

Women have entered the workforce and are getting a lot fucking smarter in the white collar side of things. I think the redpill is men’s last desperate attempt to gain any sort of control in the sexual marketplace.

The only men who have seen through the illusion are the ones who (a) already found a good woman to marry or (b) have gone MGTOW.

All the others still trying to spin plates are technically bluepilled in my eyes. Your plates are going to end up spinning you…if they haven’t already.

JumboJetz · 2022-09-14T05:48:46+00:00

I feel 20 years ago there was an idea that men were scarce.

I don’t feel in 2022 that there’s the same feeling men are scarce.

Also the biggest change I’d say is that nightclubs used to be so ubiquitous and people would go to meet dating partners. Now every nightclubs been torn down and turned in to a condo. There’s no real nightlife anymore. Apps killed a lot of it.

MAGA-Latino · 2022-09-13T17:37:01+00:00

I think the biggest is that women have to get paid in relationships. Or just simply that they must date men with an exorbitant amount of money to spend on them.

I seen women now expect to be taken shopping regularly and that relationships are just for them to get the maximum amount of money they can from men.

If you watch any of the popular shows for women it's just them in relationships with men that make a lot of money and spend a lot of money on women. I'm talking about all the 'Real housewives', 'Basketball wives', and 'love and Hip Hop'. It basically just glorifies gold digging, consumerism in general, and that women can just do whatever they want without any social consequences whatsoever.

It's really ruined the chances many women had with good men. I'm a medical professional and I seen most of my male friends get overlooked while they were in school. Now that most of them are professionals the same women they wanted are genuinely shocked that these guys no longer want them. They don't realize that while they were having fun the men were brewing resentment for them. Now the newly minted HVM are talking about going overseas and catching up on all the fun they missed. While most of the women are now shit out of luck and blew their chances to nail down a HVM before they had any competition for him.

IOportA · 2022-09-13T20:51:52+00:00

That a woman would rather date a drug dealer than a doctor.

YasuotheChosenOne · 2022-09-13T19:35:20+00:00

Age gap relationships.

Swear growing up no one cared so long as they were consenting adults. Now, mention fuckin with 18-21yr olds and you’re +25? Burned alive at the stake.

Somehow, women are both more mature and crushing men academically, but also too stupid and naive to avoid getting taken advantage of by them 🙄🤷🏾‍♂️

ruboyuri · 2022-09-13T19:37:38+00:00

The 50s were 60-70 years ago, dude. Which was the last time those views were relevant. Let’s try to keep up, ok?

Laytheblameonluck · 2022-09-13T20:23:00+00:00

In the 1990s/early 00s it was men who had FOMO, who fucked around with as many women as possible until 27-30, at which point they’d marry the nice kindergarten teacher and have some babies. Now it’s women who do that. That’s the biggest change I see, anyway.

risdeveau · 2022-09-13T16:48:20+00:00

Most of that applies to casual sex

And that’s been going on since the 70s, so more like 50 years

labormarket · 2022-09-13T17:03:50+00:00

boring thread.

what do you think will happen in the next 20 years?

RegTextoffender · 2022-09-13T19:31:56+00:00

Consent being promoted to absurdism.

Out of, I don't know how many women I think I asked to kiss one once, only once (she said yes) because I wasn't sure. Every other time I didn't need a freaking "yes" to every action, to know what was acceptable being I'm not on the spectrum.

When I see some of the consent levels being pushed its no wonder millennials have less sex than us GenXers did at the same ages, and we grew up with AIDS being constant headline news.

Constant verbal consent is NOT sexy, and a functioning male should know when its ok to touch the boobs or not.

Consent obviously is required, but dude shes 2 inches from your face, kiss her without asking, she's not there because she doesn't want to be kissed. This goes for the rest of it too, if she hesitates or seems uncomfortable back off, but you don't have to go, may I kiss you may I touch your back may I touch your butt, may I touch your side boob, may I touch your boob from the front but over your shirt, etc etc. Learn to read body language.

Starter91 · 2022-09-13T16:55:00+00:00

[permanently deleted]

FFTzzz · 2022-09-14T01:48:49+00:00

Video games became so much better than women.

resultsmatter1 · 2022-09-14T19:14:49+00:00

All 3 are true but as someone looking for an LTR, number 3 hits home the most and is most true and 1 a close second.

Born in the 80s the keep your nose down and grind it’ll happen just believe! Was a common trope and it’s just not true.

Salt_Mathematician24 · 2022-09-13T17:30:51+00:00

I'll just say that your second point is dependent on the woman/feminist you ask. Liberal feminist may think things like onlyfans and sex work are empowering if on the individual woman's terms, but radical feminists may find pornography and sex work in general degrading to women.

I am somewhat in the middle; I think a woman objectifying herself is something inevitable in a very capatilist society, particularly when generation after generation of men before now have proven that this is exceedingly profitable. I think a woman objectifying herself is still objectification and that it has gone too far, yet it is still less degrading than men commodifying women for other men because it hands back agency to the subject.

growandappear · 2022-09-13T17:11:17+00:00

General anomie about the state of relationship building within just the last decade. Going steady is antiquated. Nowadays it's talking, confused hormonal sex, and hurt feelings, maybe love among them.

freespirit1963TJ · 2022-09-13T22:39:49+00:00

People tend to really overthink fairly simple concepts. 1. People end up in relationships with people that they have a great deal in common with. That is generally not true. People generally begin this process in high school or college. The good looking girl wants to be with the good looking guy. At this point, BOTH of the intentions are pretty shallow. Also, them sharing common interests and have similar beliefs and motivation are negligible, they are just happy spending time with the other person. 2. Characterizing men as pigs is over the top, but animals, yes. I'm a man, I have always believed that humans share, behaviors, drives and instincts that are much closer to the animal kingdom, than society would like to acknowledge. I am a man, so I can only speak intelligently about men. Men crave and lust women and sex. This dynamic is very strong when a man is in his mind teens to mid 20's. I understand that this drive has to have a measure of control and restraint, but it is what it is. Any conversation I've ever had about a man's sex drive, people (mostly female) will retort with we've become more civilized etc. etc. So what you're saying is you have a very strong, naturally occurring instinct or drive that is supposed to be controlled by some societal norms, shame and religious driven expectations. I believe that the bulk of women fully understand this dynamic and many actively promote it. 3. People struggle mightily with independent thought. There are entities throughout our society that prey on and victimize people because they are so easily duped.

RedditsOlderBrah · 2022-09-13T17:12:56+00:00

Incredible revelation about physical attractiveness being important when selecting for a sexual encounter where the whole point is you don't know the person.

Google 'sex positive feminism' and tell me more about how women are trying to lie about being sexual creatures. They don't like being objectified though. Women don't like being treated as objects. All they are asking is that you acknowledge that it's a human being shaking ass on onlyfans.

Also, I was never told that being a good man and working hard would deliver me a good wife. Women aren't products.

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cromulent_weasel · 2022-09-14T02:52:25+00:00

The most massive change that you haven't listed is smart phones (and social media).

That's changed from meeting someone from your social circle who is 'good enough' (but far from perfect).

Now on social media all you see is people who are far from perfect, or liars desperately trying to pretend they are perfect.

Maelas84 · 2022-09-14T09:02:52+00:00

on..line...dating

resultsmatter1 · 2022-09-14T19:22:06+00:00

The end game of this is a lot of loneliness for everyone. I know men already agree and women will deny it, but that’s where it’s headed.

HobbitShaker88 · 2022-09-15T03:36:11+00:00

Differences are more attributed to personality/character/disposition than gender which I think is more accurate. There is more variability between one group of men than there is between men and women overall.

GuyIsAdoptus · 2022-09-19T04:47:09+00:00

There was the idea of the long term game for men: be a good man, work hard, and you will get a good wife. Lots of men realized it wasnt worth it if other men were having success in the short term game with the same women they would end up marrying with in the long game.

Yup, when marriages have been declining crazily for decades and common law couples haven't been rising quick enough to balance it out, we see these select % of men having their sexual abundance without having to lock down shit. Why put yourself into the trap then?

Title	What are some major changes in the mainstream perception about dating that you think happened in the last 20 years?
Author	Electrical-Elk9058
Upvotes	78
Comments	153
Date	September 13, 2022 3:47 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/xdb1z5/what_are_some_major_changes_in_the_mainstream/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-are-some-major-changes-in-the-mainstream.1131164 https://theredarchive.com/post/1131164

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