What Do You Expect From Your Bf/Gf

Fat_Papaya · 2022-10-01T23:21:26+00:00

I'm a man seeking a woman haha

Good Character (Polite, Kind, etc...)
Virgin and wants to wait for marriage (like I am)
Acceptable appearance (She doesn't need to be a 10/10, but I'm not sure how I'd feel if she was very visibly deformed)
Financially fine (I'm not 100% sure what my own financial situation will be like once I'm out of school, if I can be the sole bread winner, I'd do it, if I can't than I'd prefer it if she only had to work part time, and bonus if it's WFH)
Healthy (no significant health issues and healthy BMI)
Physical love language (so she likes to give hugs and such like I do haha)
Desires children, and would be a good mother (I'd like to have kids)
Loves me haha
Maybe some more but I can't think of any

ashpr0ulx · 2022-10-01T23:26:22+00:00

i expect him to love me, spend time with me, be loyal and honest. i expect him to try to live up to the best version of himself and live honorably. i expect him to be there for me as much as is possible. i expect forehead kisses and regular dick.

NockerJoe · 2022-10-01T22:52:46+00:00

Someone who acts like they actually want to be in a relationship with me. I.E. they regularly initiate contact and act like they enjoy my company, and want to both spend time and be physical. There are way too many women out there who think a boyfriend is essentially either just an emotional validation machine or a free therapist to deal with their last relationship.

purplish_possum · 2022-10-01T23:41:16+00:00

That she pay half the rent and other bills.

risdeveau · 2022-10-01T23:58:56+00:00

They treat me like I treat them, with some trading allowed

vindictaisracist123 · 2022-10-02T07:32:49+00:00

Has a penis

Unconventionally attractive

Knows how to cook

Does his own laundry

Similar salary as me

Affectionate

Good vision

Submissive

Good taste in music

Don't like kpop

Don't like anime

Don't watch porn

Is accepted by my mom

scottandcoke · 2022-10-01T22:45:43+00:00

https://youtu.be/eu2OYcgr4rM

CranberryRich2933 · 2022-10-02T01:07:29+00:00

That they're a good, kind person who's good fun and company and that they never stop trying to get to know me better because I believe curiosity and laughter are at the heart of most successful relationships. And because without curiosity, you can't hope to fully understand your partners needs let alone meet them - too many relationships fail, directly or indirectly, due to unmet needs.

gabishes · 2022-10-02T04:58:04+00:00

I want him to love me. To want to spend time with me. To put as much effort into me and the relationship as i am doing for him. I want him to support me (not financially). Believe in me and not put me down. Celebrate my successes as i celebrate his. Talk to me. Be there for me on bad days. I am a big physical touch person so I would want hugs often. Sex every so often, maybe once a week or more but life gets busy.

The biggest thing is that he sees me as a partner and wants me involved in his life.

mrgoodbarxxx · 2022-10-01T23:03:35+00:00

Honestly? Just loyalty. That’s it. I can handle anything else.

gobblegoobleoneofus · 2022-10-01T23:11:52+00:00

i just want them to like doing fun stuff like going snowboarding and not being poor

toasterchild · 2022-10-01T23:06:28+00:00

Monogamy after we start having sex. Respect, never say anything you won't say to my face. Priority, if we make plans you won't cancel last minute without an emergency. Committed to couples time, we should have together time 3-4 days a week if that is too much that isn't going to work. Relationship building, commitment to work together to solve relationship problems. Finances, agree to never share finances as I am uncomfortable with that.

Barely-moral · 2022-10-01T23:02:23+00:00

Expect? Nothing.

Want? Someone that follows the agreement we make. Someone that knows what they want and someone that knows how to put it in words.

Everything else will be defined in our agreement. Without those things that agreement can't exist or it would be meaningless and/or useless.

xzpw · 2022-10-02T09:23:33+00:00

I’m late here but I’ll throw it in. I’m a man looking for a woman.

25-29. I’m somewhat flexible but I want 2-3 kids and going outside on either direction could be problematic.
wants kids and wants to be a mother but doesn’t desire to just be a SAHM either.
Minimum $250k income, preferably with room to grow
Isn’t status obsessed. (Think LV, Gucci, etc. just to show the brand off)
must have reasonable hours as well. No 60hr work weeks being regular.
Physically fit or at least skinny fat. Preferably exercises or at least is open to it. Hiking and what not shouldn’t be a thing that they would never do.
Physically attractive (I’m a face man more than anything and that is my #1 unbreakable rule - gotta like your face)
Ideally college educated but overall is an educated individual. Knowledgeable. Has big brain.
Empathetic, loving, caring, and nurturing. Someone who would be an exceptionally loving mother - but not negligent.
Wishes to commit at least 50-50 on everything as much as possible.
Likes to explore, has a sense of adventure, slight adrenaline junkie.
Feminine in nature. Isn’t a diehard tomboy - I don’t mind some tomboy tendencies (appreciate them if anything) but isn’t just a jeans+t-shirt woman.
Can cook and bake and knows how to do traditionally feminine tasks and roles but isn’t tied down to them.
is open to learning new things and doing things that are outside of traditional gender roles and not being pigeon holed into them.
good head. God, please. This can be learned but I dislike having to teach someone this stuff as it feels incredibly unsexy - idk why.

There are other personality aspects I’d like but I am fungible on a lot of it. I think they should be funny and fun to be around but that’s hard to put down as how funny or how fun. In general - I’d like to enjoy being around them even if we weren’t in a relationship or they didn’t fit some other aspects on my list. Personality is super important but it’s not easy to describe in an already long list.

M3taBuster · 2022-10-01T23:33:28+00:00

- faithfullness--and that doesn't just mean not fucking anyone else, that also means behaving faithfully day-to-day

- lots of physical affection

- sleeping together every night, once we live together

- having sex at least a few times per week, once we live together (except for extenuating circumstances obviously)

- doing at least half of the household chores, though I'd probably expect more if I worked more than her--basically just pulling her own weight, however that might look

- taking care of her appearance/not letting herself go (intentionally)

- no physical, verbal, or emotional abuse

- it'd be nice if she could become friends with my friends, but she at least has to get along with them whenever they're around (unless any of my friends were in the wrong); same goes with my family

- being considerate of my feelings and willing to compromise whenever there is a conflict (though this should be rare if we are actually compatible)

- just being good company in general (holding conversations, being attentive, not starting fights, etc.)

I feel like this is all pretty basic stuff for a relationship though.

DisasterPeace7 · 2022-10-02T01:19:39+00:00

I'm married so I'm not in the boyfriend/Girlfriend business but

Tier 1 priorities: compliance, physical attractiveness, sexual compatibility, good mother to our children, honesty, loyalty, Pleasant to be around, respect

saraimarsena · 2022-10-02T01:19:56+00:00

interesting because my rules have drastically changed from one experience to the next.

must be kind, friendly, funny, caring, protective
no jail time
no heavy drug use. weed and alcohol are fine, but only recreationally
must be okay with taking threesomes and outside partners off the table completely
must have a steady income, preferably making more than me
respective of my initial sexual boundaries
a Christian background/interest
marriage minded, wants kids
strong preference for men with traditional values
matches my interest in going out, but also likes to stay in sometimes

there’s probably more with varying degrees of preference but those are maybe my top 10. i also generally like a man that’s wants to see me taken care of.

Gtedx · 2022-10-02T14:54:11+00:00

I expect her to take care of herself physically and to maintain a slim figure because health is important and I think fat women look disgusting. If there is no attraction there is no relationship. I am fit and expect her to be too.

I expect her to let me fuck her whenever I want, and also let's me fuck other women. Cooks and cleans without being asked. She needs to be good at sucking dick too.

Another important thing is she needs to be low maintenance and not have too many thoughts and opinions.

I don't want a woman who is combative and likes to argue. I don't need a headache. I also don't like being told what to do.

DreamDeflowering · 2022-10-01T23:39:43+00:00

I expect her to be a virgin, that's bare minimum. I'd like if she came from a rich family but it's not an expectation. Oh, i'd also expect loyalty.

DrinkItInMan11 · 2022-10-02T00:48:32+00:00

Sex, that's it. I don't ask for much.

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Naru4odo · 2022-10-01T23:43:50+00:00

Loyalty, honestly, respect, desire, trust and the willingness to communicate no matter what

godandgoddess · 2022-10-02T00:17:07+00:00

Being loving, thoughtful and having a sense of duty when it comes to the day to day work.

neutralhumanbody · 2022-10-02T00:23:39+00:00

Im a woman in her mid-twenties.

Needs to be intelligent, preferably emotionally or socially
Must have the same political leanings as me
Want children/ be family oriented
Assertive and willing to take action
Be able to communicate thoroughly
Isn’t into partying (no smoking, only social drinking, little to no drugs)
Respectful of others and polite
Honest
Puts me before others, as I will with them.
Sex as often as possible, preferably once per day

bunnakay · 2022-10-02T00:34:23+00:00

Is this supposed to be different from the vetting question? It's the same thing

pinktuliplover · 2022-10-02T00:50:02+00:00

Basics:

-Shows loyalty, discipline, honesty, work ethic, assertiveness, and leadership skills

-Has a decent job or is in school

-Funny and Affectionate (hugs, tickles, just kinda clingy physically)

-Works out regularly or just has an active lifestyle (also can defend himself and me)

-We must agree on most (not all) major topics ex: wants marriage, wants kids, religious beliefs, morals, controversial topics, more traditional gender roles, etc.

-loves me and puts forth effort in our relationship and future :)

TedHynes · 2022-10-02T03:10:52+00:00

the capacity to experience guilt - all else is downstream/negotiable from there

ruboyuri · 2022-10-02T03:36:12+00:00

To, uh, like hanging around me? Is this really hard to understand?

Ganajin · 2022-10-02T04:05:19+00:00

Love.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2022-10-02T04:37:29+00:00

Loyalty in every way To love me To make me a priority Want to build a future together and to work hard at it To show he cares To respect me To treat me like an equal To care about my sexual enjoyment To be respectful of my family Love my pets

Siukslinis_acc · 2022-10-02T05:59:03+00:00

A companion who respects my boundaries and quirks.

cowfishAreReal · 2022-10-02T06:16:09+00:00

Loving me, being nice in general, caring about me, spending time together

womandatory · 2022-10-02T06:30:36+00:00

Honesty, fidelity, earns his own money, looks after his own kids (I’m divorced), has a good relationship with his mom and sister(s), eats well and takes care of his body/health, no addictions (incl alcohol, drugs, porn, gambling), strives for self-improvement, is sexually generous, capable/handy with basic maintenance, has his own interests and circle of friends, but can slip into mine and vice versa, disciplined, has integrity, treats people less privileged than himself with respect, is kind to animals, politically left-leaning, doesn’t believe in woo (astrology, homeopathy etc), enjoys nights out as much as staying in for a movie and pizza, is confident enough in his masculinity to not feel he has to compete with every man he encounters (you’d think this comes with age, but honestly there are some very insecure older dudes out there), can travel out of a hiking pack as easily as a five star hotel, doesn’t shit-talk his ex, shares in cooking and cleaning, not a hoarder, respects my kid and our relationship, mostly follows the rules (ie laws and social mores), gets on with my family, calls out misogyny when he sees it, shows up in my life and wants me to show up in his.

mandoa_sky · 2022-10-02T11:12:32+00:00

a best friend with "extras"

it's how it works for my parents.

no_bling_just_ding · 2022-10-02T12:52:19+00:00

what i'd want and hope for? a lot of things. what i'd expect to get? literally nothing. jack fucking shit. except for maybe a penis, and i don't want that.

Katatonicsnake · 2022-10-02T13:01:20+00:00

I expect honesty and integrity. Then there are many other things I want from my husband. Expectations in general are dangerous, and can ruin any relationship. You should have standards, but expecting things from other people is a different thing.

darkvalleys · 2022-10-02T14:54:17+00:00

To….want my companionship?

Sinkagu · 2022-10-02T15:14:17+00:00

Love, Loyalty(not cheating), and sex. Pretty basic ngl but I don’t need much to be satisfied.

CouldYouExplainMore · 2022-10-02T15:23:30+00:00

Man seeking woman:

Reciprocates love
Adventurous/Willing to try new things
Loyal and voices any discontent, so I can try to improve
Not lazy / tries to be their best version too

Soggy-Fuel5470 · 2022-10-02T19:02:53+00:00

Don't lie..

GuyIsAdoptus · 2022-10-02T19:07:33+00:00

Not to cross established boundaries. Not to add more stress than benefits of her company. Hasn't suddenly changed values but kept steady with them.

Reciprocate feelings, keep each other company, active sex life, keep up in conversation, spend free time reading and not scrolling tiktok/instagram, stand out and not just be some sheep, be kind to myself and others.

aPlaceInMemory · 2022-10-03T00:57:09+00:00

them:

enticing (I love a healthy sense of pursuit)
creative/sophisticated but realistic
affectionate
able to cook, accepts my dietary issues
reflects well on me
self-sufficient
I’m silly and self deprecating (to a healthy extent, but more than most people), and I need a lot of trust in them to put myself on the line like that

I’m flexible about some of my expectations, but it ought to be worth it in some other regard.

me:

I hold myself to a high standard of what I provide, of what I want to build together
I am much more diligent/detail oriented than most people
I’m usually very composed, and unless they’re the stressor, I usually keep my issues to myself

Title	What Do You Expect From Your Bf/Gf
Author	anonymous-platypus1
Upvotes	18
Comments	126
Date	October 1, 2022 10:28 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/xt82vn/what_do_you_expect_from_your_bfgf/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-do-you-expect-from-your-bfgf.1133190 https://theredarchive.com/post/1133190

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