Why is it so common that men struggle with insecurity and be a victim hating women for their own problems

DumbWordsmith · 2023-10-15T03:53:23+00:00

work on yourself and you'll find the right one.

Or you won't, because life isn't a movie—and the "one" doesn't exist. We were sold a bunch of nonsense when we were young.

Either way, move on and take care of business. There's no benefit to being angry unless you channel that energy in a healthy way. People in general dislike being around bitter, angry individuals, or individuals who make everything about their problems.

Illustrious_Wish_383 · 2023-10-15T05:46:02+00:00

Insecurities are tolerated, even expected in women.

Men are shamed for insecurity, and also shamed for the cause(s) of said insecurity. Double whammy. We are expected to be confident, even irrationally so.

RIPGeorgeHarrison · 2023-10-15T04:50:04+00:00

The whole "women hate me cause I'm short" or "women are all stuck up and liars" is why exactly why you aren't succeeding with women.

You got the order of events backwards on how this happens dude.

thisreallyisnotok · 2023-10-15T03:24:07+00:00

Men revert to the opposite because toxic masculinity promotes the notion that all male suffering is caused by the individual man’s own incompetence. As an act of rebellion, young men say all their struggle is everyone else’s fault.

KeepCopingBuddy · 2023-10-15T03:09:26+00:00

The grannypill broke me.

Maffioze · 2023-10-15T07:16:41+00:00

It's probably because men are victim blamed all the time in real life. People can't really comprehend men not being in complete control of themselves so anytime they suffer from something systemic people just blame them or laugh it away. They don't do the same for women so many young men get resentful over this sexist treatment.

Fit_Kiwi9703 · 2023-10-15T16:06:29+00:00

Biologically, men are just angrier.

Higher testosterone levels make men more ambitious, driven, and passionate, but also angrier, more impulsive and potentially violent. They tend to hold stress in their bodies that seeks release. Think about it: Why are the best athletes and the most violent criminals male?

When faced with similar setbacks in life, men tend to create outlets for their anger, while women tend to let it go. They’re complementary traits. Male aggression & female mediation balance each other out. When this balance is out-of-whack in a society, we start to see both genders taking it out on each other, which can end in male violence if we’re not careful.

Gold_Supermarket1956 · 2023-10-15T04:00:22+00:00

Probably because women now days have a checklist that if you don't tick every box you don't pass the test... You also got women out there that think a dude making 70k+, owns their own home,fit... That's the bare minimum now.... Standards are so shit now that most men will never meet them

eye_of_gnon · 2023-10-15T04:57:19+00:00

Well it is in fact a woman's fault if she's a liar or bad person

The problem is that dudes overestimate how many shitty women there are

kvakerok · 2023-10-15T10:18:57+00:00

Typical BP white knight bullshit from a boy that obviously never even seen a naked woman lol.

Traditional_Job2467 · 2023-10-15T06:59:12+00:00

Despite the projection acting like it's only okay for one side to be acting toxic without standards and then being some bigoted hypocrite with double standards to women with their insecurities to projecting to hate all men due to their own problems. In the ends is just a narrow biased viewpoint

Commercial-Engineer3 · 2023-10-15T07:46:37+00:00

I was watching a show on Netflix, The man was BEGGING to be with this woman he said he was "in love" with and she said "Okay, I love you too!". This doesn't happen in the real world, not even to Chads, she would have bolted. We have been taught lies about dating since we were knee high.

George69143 · 2023-10-15T06:25:28+00:00

The notion that saying women aren’t attracted to men with certain traits mean they hate these men or that we think they hate us is totally misplaced. Not being attracted to someone is not the same as hate and most men get this. We don’t think women hate us, we are simply pointing out facts of nature it’s not personal to women it’s not like they can control what they’re attracted to. However, men have more traits that make them unattractive to women than women have towards men; simply put the bar is higher for men today and that is a fact of nature/society.

19whale96 · 2023-10-15T03:49:35+00:00

You gotta be 13 years old.

Xtal333 · 2023-10-15T04:43:22+00:00

Loaded question.

victim blaming women

If men struggle with dating women that does not make women the victims.

"women hate me cause I'm short" or "women are all stuck up and liars" is why exactly why you aren't succeeding with women.

Bullshit. The prerequisite to be tall exists, pointing that out is not the reason why it exists. You're just using circular reasoning here. In fact, this is more akin to victim blaming: "It's your fault we bully you, you insecure manlets, and since you get mad, you deserve it."

No one is blaming women. But if women are the ones who determine who gets to be in relationships and hookups then it is obvious to point out that their requirements are the determining factors of who will have success.

This is more just world-fallacy rambling.

Lower-Director1043 · 2023-10-15T05:50:14+00:00

WOMEN BLAME MEN FOR ALL YOUR FUCKING PROBLEMS FROM THE MALE FUCKING GAZE TO US NOT WALKING EGGSHELLS OVER YOUR PROBLEMS and now u can't handle a little bit blame.

John_Oakman · 2023-10-15T02:46:40+00:00

Because blaming outside variables has a higher chance of receiving attention, which can either result in help/assistances or further exploitation.

13choppedup2chopped · 2023-10-15T03:35:55+00:00

This sub is light years away from real life.

Ok_Smile_60 · 2023-10-15T05:55:36+00:00

Well, some people literally can’t ‘work on themselves’ so that’s a pretty awful point.

However, whining won’t fix that either, so eh

Gold_Supermarket1956 · 2023-10-15T07:28:30+00:00

Nah you are cause I could go grab links and shit and you'd still find reasons or ways how I'm wrong so have a nice day!

ChevalierAuChocolat · 2023-10-15T13:32:37+00:00

...do you want a medal for being "one of the good ones"?

No_Mammoth8801 · 2023-10-15T02:54:23+00:00

Why is it so common...

Hmm... let's see what she has to say...

Everyday on the sub...

🙄

EastSideSlasha · 2023-10-15T03:19:00+00:00

Lack of accountability

AidsVictim · 2023-10-15T08:46:31+00:00

The sad sack whining is a little tiring but I don't think most men who post here actually have that mentality. Mostly it's just frustrated men venting.

That said I think the "respect women" stuff is meaningless nonsense and a lot of criticism can be rightly leveled at the female half of the dating population (just as some can at men). Men should both work on improving themselves and recognize the faults and challenges in dating women in the context of the modern world.

bioh4ckdr · 2023-10-15T04:49:41+00:00

Modern dating is just not worth the hassle. I moved to Australia from South America and I feel for the men here. Approaching women is not worth the risk. You can lose your job or be accused of rape just for asking the time.

Fortunately I met a girl from my same city in South America and we have had a happy relationship, but otherwise I’d be screwed here. Dating in first world countries sucks.

aidsjohnson · 2023-10-15T05:55:42+00:00

I don't agree with it, but I get it. Imagine you've tried your whole life to improve your situation and nothing works. Over and over and over. What is there left to do? Let off some steam and bitch about it. Again, not saying I agree with that, but I understand! They're hurt. Hurt people hurt people, as the saying goes.

candikanez · 2023-10-15T05:07:07+00:00

Taking accountability puts the onus on them to fix their shit and be better people, which takes works that they don't want to do. So blaming women is much easier. And yeah, everytime you make this point you get attacked. They're fragile, weak little dudes that can't handle the truth 🤷🏻‍♀️

No-Resource2745 · 2023-10-15T04:30:41+00:00

A lot of men on this sub, when they are informed that the way that they are approaching women is objectifying by women, they switch to “it’s not objectifying because I don’t think it is, therefore it isn’t.”

Financial_Window_990 · 2023-10-15T20:18:41+00:00

Because women ARE to blame. Who do you think are CAUSING those insecurities? Who traumatized those men? Who abused them? Used them? Told them they were worthless? Women. All women.

ej_theraider · 2023-10-15T04:33:46+00:00

The rhetoric of "women are all stuck up liars" is not entirely true for every woman, however I'd say if this rhetoric is THIS popular and reproached then it has at least SOME merit to it. If Everytime I saw a dog it tried to bite or attack me imma assume dogs are shit. (Until I see a dog that doesn't). THEN I can say "well not ALL dogs" but in my personal experience...MOST dogs. Its hard to get away from it when they keep proving it to be so time and time again. (Ofc u have agency in choosing to subscribe or unsubscribe to any paradigm of thinking). But in order to come to conclusions u have to analyze evidence. If one person's life experience says "women are shallow and just want attention" that's his personal evidence in HIS life. If another says "nah most women have been pretty polite and gracious to me" then that's the evidence that HIS life experience has yielded. Ofc factors come into play such as culture, setting, country, and ur own personal attractiveness. Now MY (and clearly a lot of other men's personal evidence) says that WESTERN women are SHIT.

basedmama21 · 2023-10-15T09:47:31+00:00

Women do the same if not worse. They do things to sabotage their looks (shave their head, get fat) and dating outcomes and then complain that “all men are trash”

Fit_Kiwi9703 · 2023-10-15T16:01:59+00:00

Higher testosterone levels in men make them ambitious, driven, and passionate, but also more angry, impulsive and potentially violent. They tend to hold stress in their bodies that seeks release. Think about it: Why are the best athletes and the most violent criminals male?

When faced with similar setbacks in life, men tend to create outlets for their anger, while women tend to let it go. They’re complementary traits. Male aggression & female mediation balance each other out.

Biologically, men are just angrier (for better & for worse).

Safinated · 2023-10-15T05:45:57+00:00

Because in a very basic sense, they are right; the only thing standing between them and a woman’s pussy is a woman’s brain (and laws, of course)

blkrnt6 · 2023-10-15T05:39:38+00:00

Because our society has trained us (both men and women) to strive for security in relationships, and that fulfillment can only be found in the “you complete me” myth.

When faced with the reality that this doesn’t work, the easiest knee-jerk reaction and explanation is that the other gender is to blame.

EffectiveAsparagus89 · 2023-10-15T03:53:17+00:00

One shouldn't blame anyone for anything, including oneself. One should (1) take things as they are, (2) analyze the situation, and (3) implement counter-measures to elicit desirable results. Most people, regardless of men or women, are very poorly equipped for any of the three steps. See how most people fail their education spectacularly. They can't even handle schoolwork, which is very forgiving and straightforward compared to the real world, properly with these 3 steps. Most people are just weak.

However, there are truths in their complaints. To say otherwise is to gaslight them, and many men have been gaslighted their whole life.

It is very true almost all women find short men unattractive. Furthermore, money, status, intelligence cannot compensate for lack of height except for a very good face; the unattractive vibe that shortness elicits is always present. The correct response to this is to seriously consider limb lengthening surgery. To think otherwise is being misguided intentionally or unintentionally. However, most people haven't even heard about this surgery. Even for people that know about this, they are afraid of the risks because they don't have the money and time to do the surgery properly at a rehabilitation center that specializes in limb lengthening.

It is also very true that most women are stuck up and liars. In fact, most people, regardless of gender, are stuck up and liars. It requires honest reflection and very keen observation to be able to distill the truth from all the lies we are drowned in. In fact, the first thing we have to fix are the biases we have incorporated since childhood. Then, we will have to stop lying to ourselves about our true desires and intentions. This is going to be very painful. Finally can we devise a suitable way of living that stays true to oneself and not get exploited.

All these require true strength whether physically, intellectually, or psychologically. Furthermore, one must prioritize one's physical beauty when it comes to presenting oneself in the modern world. Only in extremely specific settings do looks take no effect, e.g., a math seminar. In dating, looks take full effect, as people can fulfill most of their non-physical-appearance-needs somewhere else, and marriage is not the main reason people date these days.

_Remember_me_not_ · 2023-10-15T06:48:06+00:00

Only weak and misguided men indulge in victim mentality and struggle with the "insecurities", mature ones understand their own self worth and focus on the scopes of improvement. This is where male brotherhood and mentorship can work miracles for practical guidance and support which cannot be gained anywhere else.

That being said victim mentality is mostly prevalent in women and social media is filled with women blaming anything and everything on men from their own failures, laziness and lack of accountability to their daddy issues, fatherless behaviors and immoral life choices.

no202 · 2023-10-15T22:19:54+00:00

Men love blaming society & other people instead of looking inward. Women do the opposite.

OfSpock · 2023-10-15T02:36:27+00:00

Men tend towards having an external locus of control while women have an internal one. Men think their failure is the fault of bad luck or other people.

MxMaster9907 · 2023-10-15T02:51:06+00:00

Trough history, men always had the upper hand in dating. That’s really not the case anymore. I guess nobody likes losing a privilege.

Combine that with being bombarded daily with men doing much better than you looks wise, finances wise and course dating wise.

Smooth_Possession_67 · 2023-10-15T08:33:33+00:00

It's because women are harder to control these days.

Dstar538888 · 2023-10-15T18:28:56+00:00

Of course they downvote the post whenever you try to tell them the truth 🤣

JNRoberts42 · 2023-10-15T04:16:56+00:00

Sour grapes.

https://read.gov/aesop/005.html

Equivalent-Target724 · 2023-10-18T05:52:07+00:00

Is because men have feminized themselves and women have become whores. No offense.

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triple_skyfall · 2023-10-15T14:56:37+00:00

Tell us about your history of only dating the most kind and respectful men?

Title	Why is it so common that men struggle with insecurity and be a victim hating women for their own problems
Author	coolblue38
Upvotes	6
Comments	304
Date	October 15, 2023 2:34 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1785khg/why_is_it_so_common_that_men_struggle_with/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-is-it-so-common-that-men-struggle-with.1235155 https://theredarchive.com/post/1235155

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