I don’t understand how people meet women in college.

123zerocool · 2019-02-22T17:46:13+00:00

[permanently deleted]

SpookyKG · 2019-02-22T17:56:56+00:00

Meet people.
Talk in class.
Plan a party.
Don't talk about your lack of success.
Approach women.
Show interest in women.

You're acting like the world is just supposed to happen to you. You're listing all your own solutions and asking why the world isn't giving them to you.

0urlasthope · 2019-02-22T18:35:25+00:00

One of the greatest tips I've gotten and I hope it's not too vague

"You dont make friends, you give yourself as a friend"

Whens the last time you asked someone how their class assignment went? or if they look tired ask if they had a crappy work night?

I like to think I'm fairly good looking and the only women I've had "approach" me are women I've had in classes where i talk to everyone but also them a time or two.

alter3d · 2019-02-22T20:30:39+00:00

Yet when I go out, I never get approached and no women ever seem interested in me.

"I'm standing outside the buildings of 5 huge companies that I'd love to work for, but no one has come out to offer me a job yet!"

Double_Lobster · 2019-02-22T19:19:14+00:00

cccccluuuubbbsssss and not the anime club homie

AaronicNation · 2019-02-22T23:30:59+00:00

I'm a teacher at a community college. I see it every single year. Most dudes come in and don't talk to the girls around them or anyone else. There's always the socially adept guys though, and the first thing they do on day one is start talking to all the girls around them before class (unfortunately from my perspective sometimes during class). Next thing you know they have a bunch of girls who talk to them all the time and the dudes want to be their friends because they have girls. Key is starting the first day of class and be social all the time.

pussypoppingbitch · 2019-02-22T17:51:24+00:00

I never get approached and no women ever seem interested in me.

Sorry not to be a bitch but as a woman, I don't think you understand how easy it is for us to have sex with who we want based off the men who approach us. So it doesn't really matter how good looking you are - women will expect you to approach them so please get used to that. Not all women but the majority of women still assume that if you are interested you will make the effort to approach.

There are many places to meet women at university. Here are some ideas:

Join your favourite sports club - when I was at university, the girls football (not soccer) team that I was on, we regularly went on pub crawls with the boys football team. Several hook ups between the players happened.
Join clubs relating to things you are interested in. For example, I really liked politics so I joined the local political society and met guys there.
Make new friends who are a bit different to you so you get invited to their parties

Cirrustratus · 2019-02-22T19:04:59+00:00

Women mever approach. If people dont talk, you talk out and you will also stand out.

badboy731 · 2019-02-22T19:18:08+00:00

Im pretty awkward to begin with so when I was in college I thought it would be tough for me to date but I was totally wrong. Best years of my life! Here is what worked for me:

become friends with your roommate if not already. They will be a door to meeting people they know and eventually you meet more and more ppl (unless they too know no one or they are just creepy) also get to know the people on your floor! For me my freshman year one side of the hallway was girls and the other boys. Overtime everyone knew each other and was chill
use your major to your advantage. I was a bio/chem major so of course shit is hard. Study groups was key to meeting people and forming relationships (platonic and romantically) also helps with doing well in the class. I was pretty good with science so I did a lot of tutoring which meant meeting more ppl and even getting approached by ppl in class that wanted help or whatever. OR if you need help go approach somebody and ask questions to start that initial conversation.
see if you can get a job on campus. I worked at the schools athletic center with the Physical therapists and trainers. This one was huge because it allowed me to meet people outside my major. Eventually I made even more friends and learned about parties the teams would have. You would want a job where you will encounter mad students. My friend worked at the library and man he met/knew everybody. His current girlfriend of 4years is someone he met from that job. See if any openings at the registrar or administrative stuff.

I hope this was somewhat helpful. If I think of anything else I’ll update! But best of luck.

Edit: I forgot to mention why don’t you try Tinder? I don’t have much experience with it but being in a college environment I’m positive a bunch of students are on it.

ModoFromMars · 2019-02-22T19:06:41+00:00

Stop fapping

Midgetmasher89 · 2019-02-22T18:23:36+00:00

Talk to people in your class. So, before class while you're waiting in the hallway, during class, and possibly as you're leaving afterwards. The biggest mistake I made was not talking to this girl I fancied while waiting in the corridor for the teacher to arrive. It's never going to be this easy again, unless you've got enough money to get a 2nd degree.

It doesn't have to be the girl you fancy that you talk to. Try talking to anyone, and then involve others, and maybe ask if people want to hang out sometime afterwards. Invite people to your social group's things.

Me and my uni friends would go back to one of the accomodation hall's kitchens and play poker and card games and then cook food and watch a film and play a game. I WISH I could turn back time and talk to her and ask if she wants to hangout. Please take your shot dude, and don't wait until the end of the year. And don't be scared of things becoming awkward after if it doesn't work out.

JF803 · 2019-02-22T19:28:57+00:00

You have to be the one to make it happen. A girl showing interest is her doing her part, and that can be something as subtle as just making eye contact and smiling. I had a girl I sat next to in a math class and our only exchange was about how bad I was at math, then one day she asked me to “help her study” and got my number. I was like wtf why would she want my help I suck at math. 15 minutes into study sesh were dipping out to hook up. If girls are blatantly telling you that you’re attractive you have to close. Just get around them one on one and assume they are attracted and want to fuck and act accordingly.

dettiger09 · 2019-02-22T17:51:46+00:00

You get super drunk and go to the clubs bra

cherrytwill · 2019-02-22T19:16:03+00:00

i’m a college student. to find girls to smash/be friends with the best ways i’ve found are:

tinder, mutual friends, bar, parties, clubs, work. or if they live in your building.

go get em tiger!

itzReborn · 2019-02-22T19:01:09+00:00

Same boat in my second year. I tried putting myself out there (not much but I have tried) but trying by yourself sucks. When you go to event people usually go with friends so I doubt they’ll talk to the guy all alone I know guys are suppose to approach but I’m always in my head and think “ I don’t wanna bother her or she’s busy, don’t wanna weird her out she doesn’t me” etc goes through my head if I see a cute girl alone

Also I’m an introvert/quiet/reserved person in general. Most of the advice on this sub doesn’t really fit me personally. Sorry if it seems I’m ranting

Errantsquire · 2019-02-22T19:54:46+00:00

Pretty much what everyone else is saying. You have to cold approach women and get used to it. Learn to re-frame interactions that you percieve to be negative. Step outside yourself and see the humor in the situation (last weekend I had 6 guys roasting me for talking to a girl that was with them----hilarious) There are no negative interactions only learning. Push out positivity to people and most of the time you'll get it back.

This even goes for my kids. My 9yo said, "I'm sad because no one talks to me or even messes with me." So I told him to talk to at least 10 people tomorrow and have more than a "hello" conversation. The result was positive the following day.

Don't expect people to come to you, take massive action and engage.

Slitoreye · 2019-02-22T20:22:53+00:00

You walk up to them, greet them and then grab them by the pussy.

housebird350 · 2019-02-22T21:22:02+00:00

Do you have class with any girls you might be interested in? If so, just introduce yourself. The earlier in the semester you do it the easier it is, but just saying Hi, Im lilajstyles, is all you need to do. After that say hi to them and call them by name every day. Hi, Mary. Hi Mary, did you get your homework done? Hi, Mary, got any big plans for the weekend? Hi, Mary, how do you think you did on yesterdays test?

Judging by their reaction you can then move on to asking them if they want to study or hang out or go out on a date. Dont be above making friends (friends only) with her, she will have other girlfriends.

If you have 3 classes with girls who are cute and you talk to all 3 every day it should just be a matter of time before you end up hanging out with one or two of them on occasion if not regularly.

Then next semester, if you see them in the hall or on campus continue to say hi to them and keep introducing yourself to a prospective girl in your classes. Keep it simple. If they blow you off move on to another. You don't have to chat them up too much either. Just say hi, learn their name, be nice, and talk to them regularly.

REDRIVERMF · 2019-02-23T00:39:24+00:00

99% of women won't approach you, you got to buck up and learn to talk to women.

FireMarshallFewtch · 2019-02-22T18:57:54+00:00

Every girl ive hooked up with ive met at the bar

__Kevin__ · 2019-02-22T18:38:42+00:00

LIFT.

Vaginuh · 2019-02-22T19:07:09+00:00

If you're not being approached/approaching, you could use some social capital. People who might say to a girl, "You're single? You should meet so-and-so." Quickest way to branch out your social network is to invite people to things. Most young college students are insecure and want to feel wanted. Extend an invite, and you're making them feel good about themselves, which makes them feel good about you, which means they might be more willing to "recommend" you to someone else. As a friend, or otherwise.

Keep in mind, that you should be reasonable. Don't invite a girl to a video game party... unless you know she'd be into. Don't invite a new friend to a dorm room party... unless you're that good of friends. Giving a premature or unwelcome invitation can be more damaging than helpful, so use common sense and no small dose of intuition.

TTV-DontEvnTrip · 2019-02-22T23:54:33+00:00

Understand this! No women are going to approach you! They are just as insecure if not more than you are so their confidence to approach will be very low. That is your job, you have to break the ice and make the first moves. Get comfortable with failing, and rejection. You have to be ok with those things in the dating world especially when you are dealing with younger women. Be ok with a girl just ghosting you, don’t take it personal. But move on and keep trying. Say hi you’re beautiful , how is your day going? If you don’t know what a conversation should sound like watch some “daygame” videos from pick up artists online. Realize there is nothing magical about the conversation and they are very simple and friendly. Good luck and try a little harder

recyclablebanthas · 2019-02-23T02:25:36+00:00

1

I don’t understand how people meet women in college......

.....started college this year.......thought college would be different, but it’s the same as always. I’m at a loss.

I’ve tried joining some clubs but haven’t met anybody.

Nobody really talks in class.

I’m not even sure where the parties are since my school is in a weird environment.

You seem to have had this attitude of not understanding how socializing works, since before college. And it seems that you thought things would somehow just change once you got to college.

You really want advice? Please answer some questions, because we can only really offer good advice if you're actually clear about what you're actually doing:

What clubs did you join?
- What sorts of events and activities have you participated in with those clubs?
- How often do you attend such things?
- Is it really true that neither you, nor anyone at the club functions, talked to you?
How many people are in your classes, in general?
- Why aren't you talking to anyone?
- What sorts of interactions have you had with classmates?
  - Verbal: Any words exchanged, even one word exchanges
  - Non-verbal: Eye contact, facial expressions, etc.
What's weird about your school environment?

2

......I’ve been told that I’m pretty attractive and have a good personality.

This is almost as relevant as car mechanic telling you that he makes a mean fondue.

Which is to say, you're talking about your physical appearance, in the context of a post that you're having to write because you haven't developed your social skills.

Physical appearance and social skills aren't the same thing.

Now, if they're telling you that you have a good personality, then that means you probably have something to work with, it's just your mindset that's kind of fucking you in the early going, and if you get past those preliminary stages, you probably have an easier time of it.

3

A lot of women seem surprised when I tell them with my lack of success with women.

You say you haven't "met anyone," and yet you have women to talk to. How are you meeting women to talk to about these things, and yet you don't "meet anyone?"

4

Yet when I go out, I never get approached.....

Socializing is not a process where you go out and expect people to come to you.

You have to be willing and able to approach strangers, before you have the right mindset and attitude where people are more likely to approach you first. Irony, yes.

5

......and no women ever seem interested in me.

Given the attitude you've already hinted at so far, it's likely that you're unintentionally repelling everyone, women included.

You seem to expect everything to just fall into your lap and aren't willing to put in your side of the equation to help make shit happen for yourself.

Lastly, women don't really show "interest" until you've started escalating physically at least a smidge.

mrblackjapa · 2019-02-23T13:26:15+00:00

1: quit lying you see them walking around all day. Don’t make excuses because you’re a chicken.

2: don’t tell women your problems.

odonien · 2019-02-23T21:26:58+00:00

College is the best time to meet as many girls as possible. You have to approach them, even if they do not look interested. Sometimes it just seems like that.

SamsAdvice · 2019-02-22T21:04:45+00:00

I was a virgin in my first year in college who couldn't get laid. Now I turn down sex because I get more than I want. You can too, constantly work on improving yourself in everyway and meet women. Ask them out. Improve. Keep doing it.

dettiger09 · 2019-02-22T19:25:00+00:00

ありがとうございます

cmski29 · 2019-02-22T19:15:29+00:00

Same but I'm in trade school so there's not a lot of women there to begin with :/

domthehooper · 2019-02-22T19:20:47+00:00

If you join a fraternity, you will most likely meet a ton of girls. I definitely did, although that's not why I joined. Might be something to consider if you're into it.

BlueGrape_Htx · 2019-02-22T19:48:40+00:00

I didn't even go to college and dated college chicks lol

Thank the man above for internships LMAOOO

Yeahimahorse2 · 2019-02-22T20:47:08+00:00

I feel ya brother. I thought college would be way different.

KolobHier · 2019-02-23T08:40:15+00:00

So, I'm at a weird school. The dating culture here is huge, me and my roommates go on dates probably almost every weeknight with different girls and that's close to normal here. With that being said my advice might be culturally based, but here's what I do.

First off, get excited about rejection, because then all the fear is gone. I go into situations and lay it on so heavy that it's just funny if I get rejected.

Second, hit that Tinder game. Find a line that works for you and just copy paste. Mine is "So- now that we matched, we just get married right?" And then they always respond "Haha, pretty sure that's how this works" then I paste "Phew, thought I was going to die a single 22 year old like a loser. Where do you want the wedding" then 9/10 times they say Hawaii - there's some banter then I say something like, well I guess we should probably go on at least one date before the big day - Wednesday or Thursday? Literally works every time, and I can get a feel if they're a fun person before hand.

Third, if you just want to go on some dates, just be direct. I will just walk up to girls and say "Hey, you're way cute. Can I take you out to ____ tonight? Usually ice cream, coffee, or there are little soda shops out here. They're super low risk, you can cut it short and at least see if you like the person.

You'd be surprised by what you can get away with, especially in groups dates. Me and my roommates all got Tinder dates and had them do acro yoga with us. Girls just wanna have fun, be that fun guy.

bigkahunathetuna · 2019-02-23T09:33:59+00:00

You need game playa. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t shoot.Aint shit gonna be given to you in life.

SuperAwesome420 · 2019-02-23T18:34:37+00:00

Bro, I'm in my final year of college. You wanna know how to meet people? YOU WALK UP TO THEM AND SAY HI! Yes, it's literally that easy.

If you don't know what to talk about then talk about their studies until you're comfortable enough to start flirting.

Remember, people on campus WANT to be approached. They want to make friends, they want to get to know people. IT'S COLLEGE! That's what it's all about, being social.

And let me tell you something, a beautiful woman is just DYING for someone to have the balls to come up to her and tell her she's fine with confidence and brovado. Yes, she gets 100 compliments a day, but 98% of those guys say it with a "I hope you like me now" undertone. If you drop it with a "I'm a fucking God and have deigned to acknowledge you" undertone her panties will hit the ground so hard it'll look like a cartoon impression.

Tl;dr: Exude confidence and approach on your own

K3wp · 2019-02-22T18:34:29+00:00

I used to be like you, particularly in my early 20's.

Here's how you get over it.

You are in a college town and probably not old enough to drink. Just get in the habit of going out every day and being social.

Once you can drink, find a list of daily happy hours and go out every day you can and just have one drink. Make it a point to talk to a female bartender. Don't be creepy or sexual, just be friendly.

realsneaky · 2019-02-22T20:12:32+00:00

After listening to David DeAngelo's first series "Double Your Dating" I accused her of holding up the line at the book store and then again at the Culinaria. It was my first pick up. RSD calls this style "busting around all over the place with no plotline." It did work. Here is a crib sheet of DYD/RSD 2004-2009: https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/9frh9o/crib_sheet_from_20042009/ It is yours FWIW.

Now, I studied communication in college. The academic theorists all say that subcommunication is more important than literal language. The ones that don't are functional idiots for being left-brained about conversational chunks in "chunk analysis": who is talking more, for instance. I thought RSD had better insight into subcommunication with the concept of "unreactivity."

Consider this: health is a primary layer of subcommunication that you will only appreciate as significant once you've lost it. After you become an adult, both health and fashion subcommunicate resources. It would be my honor to influence with you what I learned about health: https://docdro.id/yEo9oWY

The file above does not discuss diet much, although it is tremendously important. This morning, I drank the following smoothie. I had to write this out for my digestive health expert anyway, so it wasn't specifically written for you, but it is literally what I am on in order to compete as an adult. Some of the social dynamics that you catch on to at a nightclub are not otherwise applicable to economic life:

Smoothie:

10 oz chopped spinach, non-organic

2 bananas, non-organic

1 scoop BountifulBeets

1 tablespoon Cordyceps mushroom

10 mg borax

1/2 teaspoon beta-alanine

2 tablespoons chia seed

1 tablespoon coconut oil

1 tablespoon ghee, grass-fed

2 pills digestive enzymes

5 billion CFU Saccharomyces boulardii

100 billion CFU Klaire Labs Ther-biotic Complete powder

Almond milk till full

Now the above smoothie is not only healthy, it is cheap. Cheap, healthy, and practical like the McDonald's Dollar Menu.

I want you to consider eating the following lunch for six weeks to see how much better you feel. Showing off my domestic skills, you need the following item to make a salad in 15 minutes: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=Borner+V3+TrendLine

Make large salad a couple times a week for daily consumption with the following:

1 head Red Romaine lettuce,

4 large carrots, unpeeled for the soil-based probiotics

2/3 small head of red cabbage

Then buy grass-fed ground beef. Your lunch is a large salad with a quarter pound of grass-fed beef. Grass-fed is greatly preferred because the fatty acids are different and the pesticides in the food supply make it all the way up the food chain.

I have given you a breakfast and a lunch. This is the remedy for the Standard American Diet ("SAD"). It will cure your eczema, put words in your mouth that were on the tip of your tongue, give you a better "rhythm" to your speech, make you less neurotic, etc.

dryo · 2019-02-22T20:02:51+00:00

Be direct, "OOOOH SHIT! your eyes are fucking amazing, yeaaah!," and walk away, I tell you, it workd, because women don't know how to react about you walking away, you're a fucking mistery.

PolesWithGoals · 2019-02-22T20:31:35+00:00

you gotta approach them first, dawg

WIA20XX · 2019-02-22T20:36:40+00:00

Are you in engineering, CS?

LUClEN · 2019-02-22T20:47:08+00:00

Go to pub nights. They're the best for meeting folks I find. If you dance you make friends on the dance floor. If you're a pool shark you can meet people on that end of the pub. Darts? You bet you can meet people. Everyone is already drinking and socializing so everything flows nicely.

target577 · 2019-02-22T20:59:38+00:00

Chat up before and after class. Start with something related to class or try to work on homework together. It may be awkward at first, but it gets easier as you do it more.

Also talk to guys as friends too. You make friends, you will hear about parties. Having friends makes it easier to meet even more people. I literally had one main friend, but doing stuff with him gave me the confidence to talk more people.

Every class I had, I talked to the people around me and would have a slight friendship by the end. Sometimes it would even help me get into parties.

Also I am a shy person and not at good at talking a lot.

otivito · 2019-02-22T21:03:39+00:00

“Nobody really talks in class” isn’t a reason it’s an excuse. Talk. Be the person making convo when appropriate.

Mayin_ · 2019-02-22T21:05:03+00:00

Step#1: go to a college.
Step#2:Approach girl.
Step#3:Introduce self.
Step#4:Build Rapport
Step#5:Ask for her # or snap chat or tick tock or whatever you college kids do these days and suggest a date. side note (Girls love confident leaders):P
Step#6:Spend time with her and repeat until you find the one. Don't break too many hearts you stud

JuanOnOne · 2019-02-22T21:14:34+00:00

You can “buy” a social life if you join a fraternity. It might be worth it. It could help you develop socially. Just make sure you pick a decent one that isn’t full of jabronis

thatarticulateniqqa · 2019-02-22T21:25:51+00:00

Hey bud, this is actually quite common! A lot of people feel this way when they arrive at college. The thing is it is a new environment. The rules have changed. You just need to adapt and develop new skills when speaking to women. So instead of waiting to be approached, approach yourself. Also stop doubting it. You have believe that you are of worth and that when you talk to someone it's them who has to prove their worth to you. Don't ever consider yourself the B side. Another thing! Stop complaining about other women to the women you're talking to. No one wantsnto know that they are not the first choice. And don't think that a party is the only place to meet women. Talk to a class mate. If they want to be quiet, then let them tell you that. You can go up to anyone anywhere at any time. Knock on a chicks door at the dorm. In the student center. In the quad. Where ever whenever. In college the rules are different. You can approach when she's with friends. As long as your respectful. It's all good.

goodguylemon · 2019-02-22T21:26:35+00:00

if “nobody talks in my college” then you gotta initiate the talking my dude

raptorman181 · 2019-02-22T21:28:05+00:00

Truth be told as a man you have to do most of the work in the beginning. But really only the beginning if you do things right.

Dallas_Stars_Fan · 2019-02-22T21:44:26+00:00

Dude you're in the easiest environment in your life... Take advantage of it because it's hard mode afterwards

ChrisMD2016 · 2019-02-22T21:47:58+00:00

Brooo college is the best for meeting women! So what I did in undergrad and in Med school (I’m 25) is I got really good at all the classes I took. I made sure I aced every test, studied really hard, and made sure I hit the gym every single day on campus. After awhile you develop a reputation as the kid that studies super hard and works out everyday. Then when you see a girl you are interested in you offer to study together, or if the girl isn’t even in your class, ask her to go to the lib to study. This method does two things, you inherently start attracting like minded individuals. Meaning you will attract the girls that want to further themselves and do well in school. And second this furthers yourself.

Then man While at the lib and stuff you start getting snacks, coffee, etc. then on the weekends you are able to chill with her outside of class and school. Listen mature girls love guys who are driven, ambitious , and focused.

Edit: after reading the comments, I want to point out that my methodology also requires you to approach the women at some point as well. You have to not play any games and show you are interested. I’m a very straightforward and very blunt individual. My method has always been if I see a girl I think is cute or I’m interested in. I just tell her. The worst that will happen is she will say thanks and you made her day. Girls love that shit to

2019-02-22T22:02:35+00:00

[permanently deleted]

mikeitclassy · 2019-02-22T22:06:26+00:00

Yet when I go out, I never get approached and no women ever seem interested in me.

LMAO. join the club bud. you wanna meet a woman, you wanna get laid, you got to make the first move.

vlogster · 2019-02-22T22:07:21+00:00

First off don’t tell women that you don’t have luck with women. It makes you look like a victim and no one wants to fuck a victim. It’s all about getting into a social circle and making friends. You will seem cool and less like a weirdo if women see you hanging out with other people. Lastly never expect a woman to approach you even if you are good looking.

su5577 · 2019-02-22T22:09:34+00:00

Tinder or bumble - don't waste time and lot girls. So you have more chances.

sanepanda · 2019-02-22T22:30:54+00:00

If you’re good looking most girls will react positively to your initial approach.

PapaSmegma69 · 2019-02-22T22:35:13+00:00

Real talk, maybe you’re just unattractive? But I feel you. College and being on your own is anxious as fuck. Idk where the parties even were, not that I would’ve ever gone to one. Maybe frats but who wants to be around those type of people? But when I went there were a few instances I noticed. One girl started talking to me waiting for registration. I was set on not saying shit to her bc i didnt care, who are you? But she was nice I guess. Cute too. Nothing happened bc waited too long to text her (3wks) bc at the tome wasn’t even sure id get in. Another time some random white girl just waved at me passing in the hallway. Or another where a girl was clearly dropping hints and was into. It was a lab class but i didnt go for it bc i was in a group of 4 with her ex. Thatd have been weird af they have their inside jokes and im just getting his seconds still barely getting to know her. But idk man maybe its where you live. Got plenty more instances if you want more. Of course there were also instances where girls wanted me but I wasnt interested bc they were thots or basic.

crusafo · 2019-02-22T23:03:52+00:00

From your post it sounds like you are waiting for women to come to you, to express clear, easily understood signs of their interest. Women simply are not wired this way.

A few days ago someone on r/seduction made a post about seduction books. In there was a suggestion to read Leil Lowndes book "Undercover Sex Signals", I just finished reading that book. While the book seems mostly aimed at post-college, working adults who frequent the New York club scene (some of her advice transfers to other environments but some doesn't). I did find it very useful that it did catalog an alphabet of 26 sex signals that women use to make their interest known to men. This shifted my thinking from looking for women I am interested in meeting, to looking for women who are sending signals and find someone I am interested in from that pool. After finishing the book, my memory started to serve up snippets of interactions I have had with women over the years, I have missed so many of these symbols, or even worse actively ignored signals because I was uncertain they were actual signals. Women are incredibly subtle when it comes to signalling their interest in men, and as much as the new wave of feminists holler about gender equality, women generally default to men doing the difficult, rejection-plagued, work of actually making an approach and turning on the charm and asking for the date/number/email/whatever.

The millennial generation, from my GenX perspective, seem skittish when it comes to socializing directly without some sort of digital medium in between them. I am frankly not surprised that you are finding the college environment challenging. If I may be so bold as to offer you unsolicited advice, I would open with the time-tested cliche "fortune favors the bold". Love, life, work, and business are all battlefields and no war was ever won defensively, you have to take the initiative and go on the offense. What this means is that you have to take action.

First, work on watching for and identifying the undercover sex signals that women broadcast, Leil's book linked above helps identify them. I realized in college that I lusted after women who were not interested, but there were women who were interested in me, that I had gobs of success with. Knowing the subtle "tells" when a woman is interested is so relaxing, because finally, as a man, you have the same skill as women do in assessing whether they are interested or not. Beware! Women make snap judgments, which means you get one first impression, on the bright side this is immediate feedback, and they will signal interest (or not) immediately. This can be a bit disappointing of a realization to see that many of the ultra hot babes you are interested in are not casting you signals... (yet!), however, don't despair, hot women are highly socially skilled and are tougher nuts to crack because they know they can demand more of a man and get it. It just means if you want those dime pieces you're gonna have to up your game, and that requires work, effort, grit, and discipline.

Second, prep your inner game -- work on your self-confidence issues, we all have them. Your mind has to be in the zone otherwise you will unconsciously sabotage any actions you take. Realize that worshiping women, putting them on a pedestal, thinking of them as angels, thinking of yourself as a chivalrous knight, etc., is counter-productive. You are the prize, be willing to walk away from any encounter with the mindset that "I will be fine without them". Take a salesman's approach to approaching women: salesman routinely get "NO" as an answer, they rise to the challenge by realizing it takes 99 NOs to get to 1 YES. Every time a women expresses a negative think "NEXT" and get more excited, you are "failing forward" towards the YES, and simultaneously you will be able to train your game in the octagon of life. Everyone is looking to get laid, everyone wants companionship, the only question to be resolved is with whom.

Third, prep your image -- work on your style. Most guys are clueless about style, we all wear jeans, sneaks, t-shirts and hoodies/puffy jackets, thinking we are casual or cool. In women's eyes though, we are slobs. Investing in slacks, nice shoes, matching belt, and some good looking shirts will do wonders to "peacock" and get those second glances from women. This is the metaphorical foot in the door that you can use to leverage to a better position. Make sure to smell nice (but never overdo it on the cologne fellas!), get a decent hair cut and shave your damn neckbeard! To look good is to feel good. You can't choose your genetics, but you can present your best self, and it does wonders for confidence! Start actively looking at men's fashion for more tips, suggestions, etc. Get a cheap gym membership and start doing the 5x5 powerlifting program (there's an app for that) -- you don't have to get huge to get girls, but adding a bit of muscle to your frame will improve your hormone production (which effects your manly chill confidence), give you physical energy/vitality to just go about your everyday activities, calms and quiets the mind (heavy exercise is the volume knob for your life/mind), gives you self-confidence when you look in the mirror, improves your long term health, and lastly, it attracts the babes to have some muscle.

Fourth, work on your communication skills. Human communication is broken down roughly like this: 45% body language, 45% tone of voice, 10% actual spoken words. This is why digital communication over text message, dating sites, etc. is almost useless in the dating game. Learn what you are communicating with body language now, and compare/contrast with where you think you need to be to get the babes, do the same with your vocal tone. The actual chit chat is the easy part -- just ask any question, be an active listener and ask questions about whatever she brings up, rinse & repeat. Eventually, if she's interested, she will reciprocate and ask you questions. It's a ping-pong match, just bat it back and forth, nothing complex. This is the beginning of the courtship dance that you must climb the steps individually to ascend to the climax.

Fifth, work on social circumstances. Realize that women are scrutinizing you against the background, at first, instead of looking at you, the man, directly. They are watching and notating how you behave in a social environment, who you interact with, how you interact with them, and ultimately how you rank on the social-influence scale. Remember, You don't have to be ultra-pretty or wealthy to have social influence, charm and fashion are more socially desirable. Alpha tendencies can only be displayed in a social environment. Women realize that while they may want a "banana" they get the gorilla holding the banana and the whole jungle that goes with it. Learn how to create set and setting as a "frame" for yourself.

largepaycheckaddict · 2019-02-22T23:28:55+00:00

What do you mean by weird environment?

I’m in my last year of college and feel the same way. I’m at an art school and feel like I’m always the dude who doesn’t get invited to parties or happy hour after class. I don’t really fit in well with a lot of these kids though so it’s not really a big deal to me. I find most of them to be immature and boring to be around anyway.

I’m not an anti social dude either, I have a ton of friends back home and was a fairly friendly popular guy in highschool. Never had trouble socializing with coworkers or any of that stuff either.

For what it’s worth, I’ve met most of my friends through playing music. I know it’s the same old advice but If you have a hobby maybe use that to engage in meeting new people?

ClownPrince6 · 2019-02-22T23:34:16+00:00

These are your best bets to meet girls at college

Societies/Clubs
Parties
Before/During/After Class

9874123987456321 · 2019-02-23T00:03:20+00:00

"I tried joining some clubs but havent met anybody"

?????

Literally just talk to the people next to you. About the lecture, the class, the subject, what theyre doing the weekend, what theyve done the weekend

EpicPaul · 2019-02-23T00:51:13+00:00

True class isnt the best place to pick up girls midway through the year. But what I did was social circle game. I became close friends with cool people and they started asking me to come to parties with them and introducing me to their friends/girls they know. Or if i see a friend with people i dont know, i like to say hi and ask who his/her friends are.

TheLoveGuardian · 2019-02-23T00:59:25+00:00

What I would do in college was find out where the parties were, then as I went to classes I would let girls know that I knew of a party the upcoming weekend and if they wanted to pregame and go to it I could text them the info. Almost always worked. I highly recommend joining a fraternity because otherwise you need to work off of neighbors and people in your classes. Theres many many perks of joining a fraternity and there is a single big perk of not joining one which is it opens up the opportunity for you to build a very small family of friends, boys and girls. Basically if you don’t join a fraternity you want to aim to literally have your everyday life become the show “Friends” where you have that group of 8-10 girls and guys and you eventually fall in love with one of the girls. You can do this freshman year by making it a goal of yours to meet one person a day, girl or boy. I did it and I just let people know when I met them that I decided I’d meet one person a day, and they didn’t care at all they thought it was cool of me to do. Since you’re attractive people will response positively to this interaction don’t worry. Once you’re a sophomore/junior/senior wherever you are living go meet literally all of your neighbors. Throw a neighborhood party. Invite everyone over for a wine night or board game competition night kind of thing. That’s the way to grow that family. If you decide to just join a fraternity though instead you will have 1000x better results and 1000x more opportunities will open up to you.

Hope this helps, check out my channel on YouTube: Vinny Theory for more advice on how to socialize in college. I just started it but more videos will consistently be coming out every week

xxsimplyjosh · 2019-02-23T01:02:47+00:00

College is easiest way to meet women, you have a similarity to go off to (doing the same class) - easy to go conversation off with. But obviously don't go on about this forever, start expanding further into other topics and ping (if she's interested in that topic or not) and go along with that.

I don't know how to simplify that any further...

EnvironmentalTwister · 2019-02-23T01:07:08+00:00

Social circle + approaching women.

That's mostly it for me, with dating apps, and clubs mixed in

ImJustSo · 2019-02-23T01:14:45+00:00

What, you thought you'd show up to campus and there'd be pussy delivered on a cart? You still have to talk to people, dude.

Yet when I go out, I never get approached and no women ever seem interested in me.

Hey, maybe women are thinking the same shit, huh? So be the one that approaches people you like. That never occurred to you?

francisco590 · 2019-02-23T01:16:03+00:00

Literally here is the answer. I can’t tell u how to lay them but making friends with them is easy I literally have all girl friends in college. MASS APPROACH

To open here’s what I do

Tattoos “oh like ur tattoo does it have like a special deep meaning”

Wow I like ur style do u do something creative

Situational if u and a girl are in line just start talking about waiting in line literally this can be done with any situation

This one is good just say “I feel like Ik u” then hop off that topic and start talking about other stuff

Structure Open Say “wait what’s ur name” and squint like ur trying to remember it

Then tell them ur name shake hands

Man I love ur vibe

What’s ur major

Tell them ur major

I like ur accent where r u from (if they say I don’t have an accent say Ik I’m just kidding then ask again where there from

Tell them where ur from

Ask them their sign (I just like to do this )

But yah at this point u and the person are basically friends ask if they have a snap and boom ur done

Also wave and say hello whenever u see them and eventually you’ll be waving at ppl all the time and ppl will say omg u know everyone

Again though this is not how to lay them but just how to meet a lot of woman quickly

Also the start of the school year is the best time to do this as all the ppl r looking for friends as well unless their upperclassman

saurabh1984bhattarai · 2019-02-23T01:58:46+00:00

Some people are just not good at getting women. If I knew the trick I would do it myself. I think it is abt not showing desperation.

moe-kalong · 2019-02-23T02:53:41+00:00

If you're not too introverted you should approach people yourself, try to find a reason, no matter how small it may be and just go talk to ppl.

my_pua_journey · 2019-02-23T02:57:04+00:00

I'm not in college but I will go to university campus sometimes to do cold approach. It works great. Maybe try going to another university nearby to do cold approach if you're afraid of running into people you know.

ImanShumpertplus · 2019-02-23T03:40:14+00:00

Literally just go to shit and introduce yourself to everyone. Not some people, but everyone. Everyone will remember you and you need to focus on all of their names. When you see em on campus, go up to them and talk to them. Once you get a friend, they’ll invite you into their group, and then you’ll meet friends from their other friend groups. You’ll get there in no time man. Hit the gym, get your work done, and the ladies will come

Tyrion69Lannister · 2019-02-23T04:45:14+00:00

Hey man... I learned this last week and since then I’ve been going on coffee dates left and right.

Women will NOT approach you. YOU have to take the initiative.

As incentive, being able to approach women usually shows so much confidence that they will AT LEAST be a little interested. At least from my experience. Idk, I think being bold turns them on or something, haha.

SurajYT · 2019-02-23T05:10:41+00:00

I'm not very experienced but I see opportunity here. Opportunity to initiate all the parties and events and basically be the center of attention.

volcanolairbadguy · 2019-02-23T05:27:11+00:00

Its pedalled through Hollywood movies like American pie and van Wilder hiw awesome college is. In actuality, most guys are cucks, beta as fuckkkk soy boys who reek of low testosterone.

Advice: 1. take a trade or study STEM. 2. Chat up baeeees indirectly, MM style minus anything creepy or fraudin. No magic. 3. Acquire digits and pull, repeat process. 5. Sift and vet for quality, not just looks. Screen out crazy, feminists, bpd, or anybody prone for false accusations. 6. Bide time. Eork on game yes but get edu and paper right 7. By mid to late 20s, most of the experience will be used as you see the wall hit former hawtttt girls 8. Travel the world 9. Chain gun cold approach outside your home and college and workplace and social circle where no blow back or virtually none 10. Get a life. Have a purpose and cultivate a ideal lifestyle that makes room for women to fill the void and you filk their void.

At 30, after absurd amount of pickup and experience, I can not fathom dudes marrying or chasing women. I just next a girl. Like, i don't LMR destroyer. I don't care for her bs. Not in the mood means next. PERIOD. HOTTER GIRLS ARE TURNING 18.

Time is on your side but use it wisely. Women are being taught to be combative, non maternal, not feminine and chase careers while pissing away youth on ridiculous majors. Not shocking we have a ton of retards and autistic kids when women pushing 40 are having tard children.

Lastly, a lot of pickup is nonsense. Use common sense.

Spacemage · 2019-02-23T06:07:03+00:00

How often do you cold approach people?

BlueberrySnapple · 2019-02-23T06:11:09+00:00

This may get buried but here it goes.

People that are in college are very PASSIVE. The need to be LED. Become the guy that is steering the social interaction, steering the conversation, steering the girl.

Also, here's something that I've been working on. It's a rough WIP, and this is the first time I've shared it.

# Preface

The Sexually Frustrated Male in Western Society is the biggest and most dangerous social problem we as a society face.

In this book I essentially pulled a theory out of my butt. It is something that may or may not work for you. It may not work for anyone. Yet I feel compelled to write it, because I think there is something there. I'm really writing this more for me than for anybody else. However, I am sharing it out of the desire to potentially help the Sexually Frustrated Males out there. I am also sharing it to see other peoples experience in using it. Your comments are welcome.

# LISR - Attraction / Charisma

# Introduction

This document is designed to make you more attractive and charismatic. This document is short, yet it has enough information, and enough references to outside sources, that it will take the better part of a year to get through. Then after that year, you will spend the rest of your life honing your skills.

Essentially this is an algorithm for becoming attractive and charismatic to women. And it's broken up into four components.

## The Four Components

Listen
Form Intent
Speak
Rinse and repeat

The Four Components - A Little Longer

Most important listen to what the other people are saying (body language, etc.)
Become clear on what my intent is with each of the other people (Friend, romantic, etc.)
Watch what I am doing to make sure I am saying what I want to other people
Rinse and repeat

# A Little More Explanation

Here are the four components broken down a little more.

## 1. Listen

There are many books on body language. Read them. Paul Ekman for emotions in facial expressions. Julius Fast. All cool people are GOOD LISTENERS to other people or groups of people. One thing that people that exude cool are very good listeners. I will go into even more detail later on I'm this document.

## 2. Form Intention

What do you want from the other person? the only reason to talk to another person is because you want something from them. just chit chatting is not fun.

For guys, look inside yourself. Get honest with yourself about how you would want others to treat you. Be specific about how you want them to treat you, and what you want them to do to, and for, you. While others are talking you will form intentions with them. (i.e. I want to get with this girl or I want this guy to be my friend or I need this guy to buy from me).

for girls, if your hot send me your number.

## 3. Speak

At this point you are listening with a high degree of accuracy to the other person or group. You have in your mind a very clear Intention for the other person. you are in a very good position. in fact, don't kid yourself, you are in a better position than most people walking this Earth.

At this point your speaking will start taking care of itself. Your intention will be shown in your body language and voice tone. You won't be wasting time with people that don't interest you. You will speak with a purpose now, instead of randomly.

there are still more things you can do, and we will cover the later in me detail.

Danomit3 · 2019-02-23T06:13:16+00:00

You're going to have to change your environment. Instead of being down about it how about you start opening up? Not opening your emotions to other people and women about how you feel. But open up to the idea of conversing with other people. You can start talking to your classmates about school shit, like notes and homework. I know it's generic AF but I doubt anyone else is doing that. By talking about school with other people or women, it will make others open to telling you about their school life. From there if you're comfortable, you can insert your own anecdotes or humor. You can also compliment on other women for what they wear or have on them.

kasoman · 2019-02-23T06:39:31+00:00

Dude...it seems like your people skills aren't enough. I'd recommend learning and applying social skills from these books:

How to Win Friends and Influence People
- I think this one is essential for socializing with anyone honestly
Everyone Communicates, Few Connect: What the Most Effective People Do Differently
How to Be a 3% Man, Winning the Heart of the Woman of Your Dreams
- Also watch his YouTube channel after reading this book
- Seems like you're an introvert, so I think you'll enjoy this one the most

It's normal to not succeed, but it's not the right mentality to think it's a bad thing. You're always going to be bad at talking to others in the beginning, but that's life. You're only going to bet better the more you interact with others, but you'll progress a lot faster when you evaluate your experiences with what you learn.

And I agree with the others who commented. Actually go out and socialize with other people. You'll be more proud of your experiences when you go out of your comfort zone. Personally, I would recommend becoming more mysterious since it's how you get others to want to know more about you, and since you seem introverted, you can develop a quiet confidence. You say no one really talks in class...well, be the one guy who talks to others. Hope this helps! :)

crownprinceofcoffee · 2019-02-23T07:04:16+00:00

Don't wait to get aproached just say fk it and approach people ask them if they know anything going on or stuff like that

wolfbee16 · 2019-02-23T10:15:11+00:00

Another point I forgot to add is NEVER fucking admit you have no success with women. Jesus man, that’s the worst thing you can do. You already firmly placed yourself in the friendzone with every girl you told that to. I casually mention other girls to my “girlfriends”. I don’t force it. When I am at a bar I will flirt in front of every girl I meet.

Example- I meet a girl I vibe with a lot and at having fun? I will say it was nice meeting you, get her info then move on to another girl. Shows I Don’t have the dreaded oneitis and that I can flirt with other women. Even though I might not be interested in the other girls it doesn’t matter. The point is to make the target jealous. Guys you have to understand that a girls thought process is entirely different than anything we think and the moment you begin to understand it is the day you have success. Stop putting these hoes on a pedestal and I promise you you will get laid a lot. I went to get drinks with these two girls I’ve been with and they told me how these guys would always text them and buy them so many drinks at the bar. I would have been that guy a year ago. Now I have learned that is not what gets you laid. It’s being your own fucking individual stud and saying “no. You can get your own drink” every time a girls asked me to get her a drink and I told her to go get it herself she had come back. And guess what one of them said when she came back? I got one of my friends (guy) to buy it for me. Gentlemen I beg you. Take what I say to heart and learn from my mistakes. For TOO MANY FUCKING YEARS I misunderstood what game was but now I am beginning to learn. It’s not difficult. Get out of your head. Girls are human.

sexytime102 · 2019-02-23T12:45:42+00:00

Your college has a campus where people sit around and socialize between classes, right? There's your answer. Just work on your courage to approach women and then do so.

thelostbeing · 2019-02-23T13:03:26+00:00

Following.

chupamichalupa · 2019-02-23T13:39:02+00:00

Join a fraternity and/ or get on tinder. Also make male friends. Grow your network. The more people you know the more likely you are to be invited to a party and potentially meet women.

Venusian_Artist · 2019-02-23T15:37:58+00:00

A lot of women seem surprised when I tell them with my lack of success with women.

This is the worst thing you can admit to women.

MrDownhillRacer · 2019-02-23T15:47:04+00:00

Cold approach. Cold approach. Cold approach.

My ratio of good numbers to flakes is really low, but I cold approach enough that I can still get dates. Most of those dates are from campus.

Very few of them have even been from people in my courses or clubs I'm in. Most have just been randos I've met walking through campus.

Campus girls are more receptive than girls I've met daygaming in other locations. Being students gives them some insight into what kind of guy you are (not that students are automatically "safe," and young men not in education are any more dangerous, but it's a perception thing, and being a "fellow student" is certainly more disarming that if you're just some random she doesn't know at the supermarket).

See a hot girl, talk to her. It gets easier the more you do it. I'm literally diagnosed social-anxiety disorder, and I've pushed myself into making this a regular habit, so anybody with similar or lower levels of anxiety should be able to do the same shit I do (I've had such bad anxiety that I even had selective mutism as a kid, I'm straight fucked in the head, and I sometimes get dates).

XDarkstarX1138 · 2019-02-23T21:19:43+00:00

Guess I missed the memo of meeting your future wife in college. From my experience, it looked like quite a few couples were getting engaged by senior year. Hard to meet people too in college, everyone is so busy.

0urlasthope · 2019-02-22T18:43:45+00:00

Also lift. Great confidence booster and place to meet people.

gtrman571 · 2019-02-22T18:56:53+00:00

I hate how the second class ends all the hot girls literally sprint out of there - It’s like “shit can you wait up a fucking second?!”

Jcbthaname · 2019-02-22T23:48:40+00:00

You remain persistent. Nobody said picking up women was easy.

stampadhesive · 2019-02-23T00:15:38+00:00

Have you tried going outside the dorms at 1 or 2am on a Friday or Saturday with a full pack of smokes? Lots of people, for better or worse, pick up smoking when they drink during college.

GrandKingSuperb · 2019-02-23T01:58:56+00:00

I know how you feel, being in class especially in a state college, I noticed that people REALLY don't speak much and the second class is over everyone rushes out.

imnotsupersure · 2019-02-23T05:28:47+00:00

Walk into classes on the first day and sit by the hottest girls. Literally what I did. You always end up talking to them. College is super easy.

SpartanAesthetic · 2019-02-22T18:45:36+00:00

Strongly recommend Conquer Your Campus. Easy to find the PDF online.

meltedmicrowave · 2019-02-22T18:50:05+00:00

i’d recommend reading conquer your campus by mark redman

kensei_ocelot · 2019-02-22T18:31:04+00:00

Just give up. If you can't meet women in college, you probably won't meet women anywhere. The saddest thing is that you can't understand how, all you have to do is talk to them and that's it, you've met a woman. Its not rocket science, this may sound kind of rude but come on man, its college. Man up.

Title	I don’t understand how people meet women in college.
Author	lilajstyles
Upvotes	311
Comments	232
Date	February 22, 2019 5:13 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/atk406/i_dont_understand_how_people_meet_women_in_college/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-dont-understand-how-people-meet-women-in-college.1462982 https://theredarchive.com/post/1462982

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The Four Components - A Little Longer