What is your definition of masculinity

Workaholiconew · 2023-07-27T14:21:45+00:00

3 major definitions:

Masculinity is the set of traits that men or boys have and women don't.
Masculinity is the set of natural impulses that men or boys have and women don't.
Masculinity is the whatever behavior politically inclined people want men to behave or not behave as.

The reason why there are no good definitions of masculinity is because the politically inclined are using the definition of words in order to control people's behavior.

You, like most men, probably have very low social orientation (men are on avg 3/9 points below women on social orientation), making you very unlikely to follow social pressures and not engage much with anyone compared to women.

PMmeareasontolive · 2023-07-27T15:02:40+00:00

Mostly societal expectations or interpretations of men. Sometimes based on biology ( or rather, people's interpretations of biology), not always. This sub, for example, expects men to be confident, looksmax, make the first move, be socially skilled so they can know when that moment is, be passionate about stuff but also stoic, don't complain, desire to make $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ and be happy about it, grind, compete with other men for women's affection, BE COMPETENT! this means always be funny, always "on", and always be a good worker, and a capable provider. Some other ones could be ' always desire sex and always be ready for sex'. Typically there's expectation that men will be less emotional in terms of crying or using emotional reasoning. Be something of a robot.

MistyMaisel · 2023-07-27T16:05:00+00:00

I'll do my best:

Masculinity in my mind is usually associated with a set of behaviors and patterns like:

Being more interested in how and why objects and things function the way they do.
Being more aggressive and disagreeable
Expressing emotions in very direct, pointed, and action-oriented ways.
Focusing on Physical Strength and Wielding It As A Tool
More prone to express the Anger, Sadness, and Surprise primary emotions (this is not to say they cannot control this or be more muted in it)
Less likely to express the Joy and Fear emotions. (this is not to say they cannot control this or tune into them).
Less likely to be able to unpack and describe the primary emotions motivating their secondary emotions.
More likely to perceive all of their emotions through a lens of control and rationality (they are happening to their emotions, their emotions are not happening to them so to speak.)
Being more directly action oriented
Being less motivated by certain sorts of social reward
Being Competition Focused
Being less socially aware and caring less about social awareness/dynamics
A desire towards overt power over others and leadership which matches this

There are also obviously masculine physical traits (beards, big arms, muscles, shorter hair generally, a roughness to the skin and hands). There's culturally typical interests like cars, guns, fighting, war, fixing things, sports, etc.

SlowEffective8146 · 2023-07-27T15:30:56+00:00

Everyone probably has a different definition but mine is:

Capability - being able to brush off problems and not just that, but finding solutions. Where the typical feminine version of this is like a woman expecting a man to fix something; her car, her plumbing, her computer, her AC. The trope is women being helpless and men saving the day but it does ring true in my life, that women are attracted to capable men.
Stoicism - but not just stoicism but being unaffected or unphased by most things. Sweat the small stuff. This also translates into confidence and being comfortable in your own skin.
Leadership qualities - Good at coming up with the appropriate solution to things and thinking on the fly. Having conviction in your beliefs. Willingness to admit defeat, but strong drive to always win & be competitive.
Stereotypically masculine features - tall, strong jaw, protruding brow, deep set eyes, broad shoulders. These things are also generally appealing to women as well.

Critical_Lettuce2899 · 2023-07-27T16:02:16+00:00

Masculinity is being high T, driven, pursuant and driven

interesting-mug · 2023-07-27T14:42:52+00:00

I think of it as a vast series of traits commonly shared by men. Or perhaps the qualities that differentiate men from women.

Muscletov · 2023-07-27T15:45:04+00:00

Most western "journalists" and "authors" toe the feminist line and that means reducing masculinity to its negative aspects, e.g. violence, hypersexuality, hypercompetiveness and so on. The basic gist is always for men to be more like women. Positive aspects which used to be associated with masculinity, e.g. drive, curiosity, perseverance, skill mastery, desire to protect, resolution, logical deduction and such, are firmly denied to be masculine characterstics because of, in essence, misandry.

BlueMountainDace · 2023-07-27T15:20:44+00:00

I think it is pretty straightforward - understand your values and live them with integrity while treating people with respect.

Affectionate_Ad8432 · 2023-07-27T14:49:11+00:00

Masculinity and femininity are relative to each other and always will be. You can't give a good definition to one without giving the other.

There's also many layers to this. You could give the biological definition, which is very straightforward (hairy body, larger muscles, facial features, etc.). You could give the social or cultural aspects of masculinity, which differs from culture to culture. You could also give the political/academic ideologically-driven version of masculinity that aims to dismantle the very idea of it (this is the version you see on Reddit often). It just depends on what level you are talking about.

neverendingplush · 2023-07-27T16:03:05+00:00

Honor And principles

MarBitt · 2023-07-27T17:14:01+00:00

Masculinity is a set of traits stereotypically associated with men and males.

For me, it goes far beyond people in general and comes from a philosophical concept in which some things are naturally male (warm, hard, dry, the sun, certain numbers, colors, shapes, elements like fire and air) and others female (cold, soft, wet, the moon, certain numbers, colors, shapes, elements like earth and water).

Once you have a concept of duality, there can also be a concept of masculinity and femininity. Only that which is above duality (primary unity, or emptiness) is also above the concept of masculinity and femininity.

Flash_4_Crab · 2023-07-28T12:16:58+00:00

Masculinity are traits that men have that women usually don't. Typically stuff that i would associate with is stuff that belonged to the male gender role throughout history

Protecting
Building
Risk taking/ Facing fears directly

"Providing" and "Chivalry" are things that often get thrown out as Masculine that really aren't. Women had a different role in Chivalry and women historically were providers too, just in a more gathering rather then hunting nature. Those 2 things are really relics of past 1000 year or so in Europe Culture, not really something that's natural.

VTHokie2020 · 2023-07-28T13:06:42+00:00

Hope I'm not too late.

Read Manliness by Harvey Mansfield.

It's more theoretical and abstract, but it'll give you a full answer to that question.

Chemical_Major_1403 · 2023-07-27T14:33:43+00:00

Cause people should talk about men but met women do whatever they want, there is not a single talk about women's flaws , but every aspect of men is being judged

pferden · 2023-07-27T14:26:00+00:00

If you have one match in a month

yamb97 · 2023-07-27T16:27:46+00:00

Honestly I believe that true masculinity is not being concerned with masculinity in the slightest. In other words, unwavering self-confidence. The most masculine men, do not ever seek to prove their masculinity, they just are.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2023-07-27T15:19:56+00:00

We don’t have a crisis of masculinity, we have a crisis of excuses and fear. A bunch of keyboard warriors who when told “no one has burned down all the guns, home depots, breweries or cigar shop. Sports bars and Rec leagues and stripe clubs are still around.” They suddenly start making excuses till they admit their “hobbies” is hours of video games and they just wish they could make sexual jokes and advances to their social media thirst traps or say inappropriate jokes to co workers about their female counterparts.

Yeah, some men are afraid. Which is stupid to me cause if my Frat boy, meathead could figure out how to behave and do ok in this “new world” it’s obviously not that complicated.

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januaryphilosopher · 2023-07-27T14:31:09+00:00

Traits more commonly associated with men than women. Some are good traits, others are bad and most are neutral. Masculinity in general is neither good nor bad. Many people believe it is good for men to be masculine.

solitasoul · 2023-07-27T14:37:56+00:00

[permanently deleted]

lilr2996 · 2023-07-27T17:35:33+00:00

I know many will roll their eyes at this, but my definitions of masculinity and feminity are rooted in my spiritual understand of the terms, based in magic, Neoplatonic philosophy and hermeticism. In this, masculinity is anything that is ‘directive’, that pushes energy towards something to produce and outcome. The feminine is that which is receptive and creative, that takes in energy and inputs to create, either in the physical world or as a state of being. The classic example of this is the sun and the earth. The sun is the masculine agent that provides the energy for life to occur, the earth is the feminine who takes on that energy and uses it to create. Procreation is another obvious example we see in nature. Now, when this is applied to humans and human behaviour, it is much less cut and dry but ultimately rests on the same principle. Think about dealing with negative emotions as an example. In my mind the masculine method of problem solving is to attack a problem directly, and looking for the solution and implementing it. The feminine is about understanding why a problem affects you the way it does, integrating this new knowledge with your state of being and creating a new equilibrium within yourself to come to terms with it. Prob not what anyone is looking for here but there are my two cents.

Icy_Ordinary2025 · 2023-07-27T14:31:21+00:00

If you can wear pink, yellow, floral print, etc. Being able to step aside so that someone else can lead. Treating people with respect and dignity. Not name calling someone if they hurt your feelings or disagree with you. Asking for direction. Taking accountability. Changing behaviors to grow.

Basically, nothing we see here.

not-a-dude-at-all · 2023-07-27T14:29:03+00:00

It's when you make decision and follow them.

Salt_Mathematician24 · 2023-07-27T21:48:57+00:00

Masculinity isn't in crisis. Patriarchy is. Conservatives equate those two things all the time. Masculinity cannot be in crisis because it has no objective defintion other than behaviour typical of men and boys, which can be entirely dependent on the individual and culture.

DapperDan1929 · 2023-07-28T01:22:15+00:00

Beard = masculine. No beard = pussy lol

derpy1976 · 2023-07-28T01:36:05+00:00

Protection of the weaker- women, elderly and children.

That’s big D energy too

katyushas_boyfriend · 2023-07-27T15:44:01+00:00

Any trait associated with the male sex.

obviousredflag · 2023-07-27T15:50:01+00:00

Masculinity is what men and women on average differ on the most. What it is not is something every man must express to be a man. A man is a man by definition. A man is not necessarily masculine in all traits. Masculinity in the media is of course not concerned with masculine facial traits or hormone markers in the body. Aggressiveness is masculine, although men and women on average are close to equal in aggressiveness and a lot of women are more aggressive than a lot of men. As masculinity is always with regards to average values of the trait expressions of the population, it's ridiculous to paint masculinity a problem and then attribute it to men in general. Most men and women are not aggressive to a point where it is a problem. Also, whatever currently is seen as negative in masculine traits also has very important positive sides that people wouldn't want to miss out on.

You cannot have the good parts of masculinity without the bad parts. Women are drawn to masculinity on average. There is no point in trying to make men less masculine. Besides it being impossible.

El_Don_94 · 2023-07-27T15:52:26+00:00

Do journalists discuss it? Seems to be more so youtubers.

SianOiseau · 2023-07-27T16:00:20+00:00

Gender roles as masculinity and femininity can be prescriptive and descriptive. Prescriptive gender roles define what kind of traits are expected an encouraged, while descriptive just describe what behavior is common in one gender.

I don't subscribe to prescriptive gender roles and I try to minimize the use of "feminine/masculine". In my view they create unnecessary division of gendered things and put people into boxes too small for them. I don't believe in feminine/masculine "energy", so for me gender roles are mostly the result of how society treats and expects men and women to behave.

Filmguy000 · 2023-07-27T16:54:08+00:00

Having balls. Literally and figuratively.

No_Length_6997 · 2023-07-27T18:07:35+00:00

Basically all the good stuff minus the bad stuff. That’s my definition.

LessInformations · 2023-07-27T18:10:50+00:00

Rich Cooper. Just buy that damn soap and you'll see.

ICtruthcity · 2023-07-27T18:11:21+00:00

I'll try and make this as short as possible, in 3 points

- Playing the gender role of what is recognised as a biological man.

- Attracting most of the opposite sex based off actions.

- Being rational over being emotional most of the time.

That's my definition, the current definition is a mix of this and aesthetics, but I think masculinity is a lot deeper than how a person looks being that it is intrinsically interwoven with their actions.

Petrosmine · 2023-07-27T18:17:19+00:00

the ability to assert dominance, whether that is bullying weaker people without remorse or being the best at a physical male dominated job

Hoopy223 · 2023-07-27T18:37:59+00:00

Gregory Peck in To Kill a Mockingbird.

KayRay1994 · 2023-07-27T18:45:11+00:00

primarily being action oriented - ie. focused on finding solutions to problems, pushing things to fruition, entirely being driven on acting out and so on. To me, a masculine person is someone who takes something from point A to B, for better and for worse (then again that’s why the balance between the masculine and feminine matter - as to me feminine energy is about slowing down, feeling the situation, considering various options and so on).

Its a yin/yang balance. Masculinity with no femininity can lead to things like unwarranted violence, directionless action and inconsiderate behavior - while femininity with no masculinity can cause emotional stagnancy, no real movement taken and people pleasing.

toasterchild · 2023-07-27T18:53:04+00:00

A beardly man who doesn't give a crap what others think of him.

Ohmaygahh · 2023-07-27T19:27:39+00:00

I do whatever the fuck I want, whenever I want. With no one, or thing able to stop me.

ilovesoundtracks · 2023-07-27T19:44:12+00:00

Swift as a coursing river
With all the force of a great typhoon
With all the strength of a raging fire
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon

TheRedPillRipper · 2023-07-27T20:52:08+00:00

comments on patriarchy

The ‘patriarchy’ is the conflation that the common man is responsible, for the oppression of women. In 4th Wave Feminism. The truth is there are a minute number of people who influence all the legislation. Who control almost all the wealth and power. That govern how society runs. It’s why people like Bernie Sanders, and Andrew Yang aren’t likely presidential candidates. Their social agendas, don’t benefit The Patriarchy. So when most talk about The Patriarchy, they’re talking about men, but are referring to the exclusive few.

some kind of abstract masculinity

Masculinity is primarily defined by independence. First physically and emotionally. Think puberty. Think Stoicism. Then practically. Think housing. One’s career. One’s ‘independence’ in these facets, often dictate their perceived masculinity.

Godspeed and good luck!

gibby-exe · 2023-07-27T21:22:38+00:00

Let me explain it in one word: SIUUUUUUUUUU

Updawg145 · 2023-07-27T21:56:45+00:00

I've always liked the "hard vs soft" differentiation between masculinity and femininity. So for example strength, bravery, stoicism, resiliance, etc are masculine traits, empathy, forgiveness, tenderness, beauty, etc are feminine.

Aggravating-Donut269 · 2023-07-27T22:46:42+00:00

Can someone who is LGBTQ be considered masculine?

Excellent-Yam409 · 2023-07-27T22:47:15+00:00

For me, it's just the voice and mannerisms.

Everything else is personality.

weightyboy · 2023-07-27T22:54:44+00:00

Geralt of Rivia.

DopeAFjknotreally · 2023-07-27T23:09:32+00:00

I actually feel very qualified to comment here, and my answer will be counterintuitive

First of all, both genders can and should display healthy masculinity and healthy femininity. Male-identifying people should have a stronger masculine balance and female-identifying people should have a stronger feminine balance.

Healthy masculine traits are: -Standing up for what you believe in -Stoicism -Protective of others -Holding space for people -Leadership -Slow presence -Charisma -Going for what you want in life

Unhealthy masculine traits: -Aggressiveness -Avoidance of emotions and vulnerability -Reacting with anger and violence to things that don’t need it -Thinking only with your dick to the point where you hurt others

For fun, here are some healthy feminine traits: -Playfulness -Living in the moment -Nurturing -Emotional vulnerability

And unhealthy (toxic) feminine traits: -Manipulation -Excessive drama -Using your sexuality to get things from people -Neuroticism

This isn’t everything for any of these categories. Just some examples

thisislikea6poundony · 2023-07-28T00:04:11+00:00

Well it’s someone that’s mature, polite, slow to anger although not afraid to call someone out, physically it’s usually an acute lack of femininity, broad shoulders, body hair, muscles and short back and sides hair

_Chaos_And_Horny_ · 2023-07-28T00:12:07+00:00

fleurs_du_mal__ · 2023-07-28T00:18:26+00:00

A masculine guy has a sense of direction, is goal oriented, driven, decisive, strong but gentle, has strong values, is principled, is in tune with and in control of his emotions, and leads in times of crisis

This is hard to find nowadays

eye_of_gnon · 2023-07-28T00:52:07+00:00

The academic definition of "toxic masculinity" is basically the standard definition of masculinity, just painted in a bad light lol

RelationshipSalty369 · 2023-07-28T12:29:01+00:00

Personally, my definition is "a person who identifies as male".

im-so-sorry-himiko · 2023-07-29T02:42:22+00:00

Whatever someone who identifies as male chooses to do

It's a sliding scale, really

Snoo16680 · 2023-07-30T21:59:35+00:00

The west have a toxic debate climate around maskulinity. It can always be used to point out how men, generally, are somehow flawed. It can always be bent to point out that "real mascuminity is doing the thing that I want". It can always be belittled, in order to prove that something is unisex or feminine.

In that climate, we cannot talk about masculinity in a sane and healthy way. We make it out to be an impossible feat of strength, that you absolutely should achieve (or be a defective male, deserving only of bad outcomes). But it is not a good thing to achieve it, it only allows you to be not-terrible.

It makes no sense to speak publically, or take any public discourse, about masculinity seriously.

MOJODOJOCASAHOUSE_ · 2023-07-31T22:59:04+00:00

Men are generally tribal and masculinity is defined by the values a given tribe would deem necessary for survival and progress.

There are no tribes (outside of bikers, gangs, outlaw types, and the military) and there are no rites of passages anymore that clearly define adulthood.

Title	What is your definition of masculinity
Author	odd_cloud
Upvotes	26
Comments	117
Date	July 27, 2023 2:15 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/15b312v/what_is_your_definition_of_masculinity/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-is-your-definition-of-masculinity.1226662 https://theredarchive.com/post/1226662

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