Assuming you'll never enter a romantic relationship should be the default rather than a "worst case" outcome.

WebNew9978 · 2025-06-27T01:58:24+00:00

On a personal level, I do agree. There isn’t somebody out there for everybody and I personally believe some of us are meant to be single.

But as I say these things, if you ask 100 people who are 60+ if they ever had any sort of romantic/sex interaction with someone, I would bet 95+ would say yes they have. Out of the 5 who haven’t, 4 was done so voluntarily while 1 wasn’t. Shoot everybody that I know or used to know has had some sort of romantic/sex interaction with someone else. We’re talking about 100+ people here. All of them have except for one person: Me 😢

Anywho I agree on a personal level but I can also see why people don’t really want to accept that idea either.

ResponsibilityAny217 · 2025-06-27T03:33:03+00:00

I love this viewpoint. I think this approach will definitely lighten the mental load/pressure for most people.

I don't think most people are actually suited for romantic/sexual relationships/ commitment but the best people are suited for those things, so most people c them and just try to imitate what they do but it likely won't work for the imitators bc they are just going through the motions with no understanding.

Bitch_King-of_Angmar · 2025-06-27T07:46:47+00:00

tfw you see some guy baring his soul and figuratively bleeding out on the concrete, but some horrible normie says something so offensive it makes you question if Jesus was even a real person. someone articulating their pain and anguish, and deciding to cruelly mock them and accuse them... it's just unbecoming.

this should not be socially acceptable behavior in a civilized society. people need to stop being troglodytes

PopularComplaint9113 · 2025-06-27T01:03:31+00:00

I’ve taken this mindset recently. Mostly cause literally every single woman, barring my mother and sister. Has lied to me and has left.

Much happier for it tbh. Date who you enjoy. But, personally, I’ll always expect them to leave, at some point.

As such, I've become much, much colder towards women then men. Right? Probably not. Logical outcome? Yep. Screw investing and interacting with a group who, en mass, have been nothing but a negative. And yes, this does extend to politics as a consequence. No reason to care about their issues.

KayRay1994 · 2025-06-27T02:01:20+00:00

The title had me assuming this was gonna be a “you’re not good enough” rant but I got the complete opposite of that and I fully agree.

I find a lot of people get into romantic connections out of just not being lonely and I don’t get it. Even in the most common scenarios nowadays you have two people who dislike each other’s hobbies, tolerate each other’s friends and ultimately just keep each other company and act as emotional buffers for their otherwise separate lives, and if that’s what you want that’s fine - but that’s not for me.

Of course, I’m not saying my future SO and I should be similar people or 1 to 1 copies, I’m not even saying we should be a part of the same friend group - but also, I want a companion to do all the hobbies I usually do with, not someone who would just tolerate it but someone who’s genuine in it as well. I want someone from the same general set of sub communities to where we are socially familiar with each other’s circles, hobbies and so on. I don’t want someone to just have me, then tolerate things like my hobbies, friends and so on, and I also don’t want to do the same thing to them. So unless I get that companion style connection, I’d rather stay single and I’ll assume I will be single until I find that

sublimemongrel · 2025-06-27T01:38:29+00:00

I mean I’m with you with the whole don’t make it your primary purpose/life mission thing. But

Romantic connections are not rare at all. Most people will have some level of success here. Yes people complain about their SOs but that’s also just a part of being human.

Maybe it’s just me but I’m firmly in the “romantic love exists and is achievable for most” camp. That’s what I’ve experienced and seen so. Whether it’s maintainable I guess is a more nuanced question.

DankuTwo · 2025-06-27T08:35:40+00:00

There are MORE than enough “good men” out there….they’re just not six feet tall.

Women are the choosers and bear more or less all of the responsibility here.

No-Hovercraft-455 · 2025-06-27T01:45:27+00:00

Full agree.

People should start from assuming they won't ever have partner. That would be healthier for both women and men for partly same and partially different reasons. It would increase safety and self confidence, remove need for lot of negative interactions like hitting on or being hit on by people you aren't meant to be with and allow everyone be more comfortable around each other. Less rejections too because it would take longer time and some actual mutual compatibility before people jump on assuming something about each other. And as added benefit the couples that occur naturally would be much more common because instead of being in relationship all the time people would be available to meet the real deal if they are among the very lucky ones that ever cross paths with theirs.

No-Rough-7390 · 2025-06-27T10:01:17+00:00

This OP really does show the subversion women often use to confuse men.

“You’re such a great guy! You’ll find someone! She would be lucky to have you!”

Also

“How dare you think you DESERVE a relationship! Women don’t owe you anything! Why do you have this expectation of them?”

The wording is crafty and I gotta give that to them, but it’s pretty effective at keeping undesirable dudes in stasis.

UpstairsAd1235 · 2025-06-27T05:37:08+00:00

LMAO It is not "to be with A man," it is to be with a specific type of man.

uccelloverde · 2025-06-27T00:40:52+00:00

I think everyone should be aware that it’s a possibility they’ll never end up in a relationship, but I believe most people do at some point (whether or not it’s life long), so assuming they never will would be overkill for the average person. I suppose we need to be able to hope for something while knowing it’s not guaranteed, which can be difficult.

Ruztomski · 2025-06-27T02:05:08+00:00

Sure. To misquote Browning "A person's reach should fall short of their grasp, or what's this dull existence for?".

Present-Interest-975 · 2025-06-27T00:48:57+00:00

I grew up with a single mother, so I never assumed or planned on having a partner. I really enjoyed romance in books and movies, but was fairly content with that. I was the kid in secondary school who got asked out by guys as a "joke" all the time, which further put me off the idea. I was always baffled by people I knew who listed marriage as a goal they had for their life when they didn't even have someone they were in love with to want to marry yet. I also don't really understand how people feel "deceived" by the idea that there's someone for everyone, when spending about five seconds observing the world and thinking about people that you know would show you that isn't the case. Did none of these people have older unmarried relatives? Had they never read an old novel where there's a "spinster" character?

Then I fell in love with a friend of mine, and that's kind of that. We've been together nearly a decade and I think that if the relationship ended for any reason, I just wouldn't bother with dating. It strikes me as kind of artificial and I'm not interested in the performance of it at all or wasting my time actively pursuing it over any other hobby or rather than focusing on my other relationships.

BobtheArcher2018 · 2025-06-27T03:48:47+00:00

Is this like an A to Z guide on how to crash a civilization? Step 1: ...

RelevantJackWhite · 2025-06-27T00:59:49+00:00

Speak for yourself. I spent my adolescent years lusting after women, found a really good one, and have loved it ever since. It is all it's cracked up to be, for me. It has nothing to do with novelty lol

Date people you actually like. It's not that hard to avoid a relationship with someone you can't stand

Velor22 · 2025-06-27T00:42:44+00:00

Sadly, that thinking is a departure from what was the norm only a few decades ago.

The majority of men and women would get into relationships and marriage.

That's a major shift in a short period of time.

bzl33 · 2025-06-27T05:56:59+00:00

the vast majority of the women I know are either married, in a relationship, engaged, or actively dating.

these posts feel like roundabout ways of getting others to validate your choice of giving up on dating. that's fine, but this isn't normal and becomes increasingly more abnormal as you get older.

MrNotSoFunFact · 2025-06-27T09:58:19+00:00

Especially hetero women, the things I've seen friends/family members put up with just to be with A man is insane.

Women that say this are almost always being deliberately vague because they're making shit up, I'm sorry.

Also fuck your cat emojis, grow up and use some chad adult emojis like 😂🫨🤓😎etc.

coiled-serpent · 2025-06-27T07:09:05+00:00

The importance of romantic relationships has been insanely overinflated, mostly through media

Relationships predate the concept of media.

petellapain · 2025-06-27T00:41:12+00:00

Its still possible for guys who get a damn passport. Western women are cooked though

John_Oakman · 2025-06-27T09:33:22+00:00

Maybe in the specific [current] cultural climate of the Euro-Atlantic democracies, but given that it's known that humans are mammals (i.e. sexual rather than asexual reproduction) and it takes a significant amount of effort of pregnancy & child rearing (i.e. not some hive mind specialized thing like the naked mole rat) it can be deduced that pairing up for humans is at least semi-natural, as far as retaining sustainable population growth.

The current cultural climate of hyper individualism & materialistic hedonism is unlikely to be sustainable (and no, AI & automation isn't going to make it so, it'll more likely lead to extinction as it begs the question: "what's the point of existence?"), thus chances are the older forms will reassert itself in due time (and just because they are immoral by the current standards isn't going to stop them. Since genuine moral virtues are wholly independent of worldly results, then worldly results are also independent of genuine moral virtues).

projecteddesperation · 2025-06-27T12:12:23+00:00

The media can also create unhealthy and unrealistic standards of what real relationships actually look like. You say things like “there are statistically not enough good men out there for every woman” but that mentality is what’s actually the problem. Men think if they can’t get a relationship they’re not a “good man” and women think they deserve the perfect man and feel discontent when they can’t get their fairytale Prince Charming.

ViolentShallot · 2025-06-27T13:02:13+00:00

Being a bit anal about English:

The default and the worst case scenario aren't mutually exclusive.

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Appropriate-Fold-485 · 2025-06-27T12:24:02+00:00

I thought this was already the default narrative for like 30 years tbh.

Mindless-Rooster-533 · 2025-06-27T16:53:35+00:00

Unironically the worst outcome is being in the wrong romantic relationship.

I was never lonelier than I was with my ex wife. that was unbearable.

Hanstsuki · 2025-06-27T18:04:44+00:00

I think the idea that everyone will eventually end up in a happy and healthy relationship is mathematically impossible and we should stop spreading the idea tbh because it causes discontent when people are faced with reality.

You're not wrong, but the same thing can be said about pretty much everything in life. It's impossible for everyone to get what they want; and even getting what you want won't make you happy, because once you get it, you'll want something else and suffer for it. That's the human condition.

So, no matter how deluded you are into thinking that a romantic relationship will make you happier, that's no more of a delusion than thinking that your career will make you happy, or your hobbies, or your friends, or anything else. The world is brutally unfair and disappointing in every area, not just sex and romance.

Shadowcat1606 · 2025-06-27T22:26:06+00:00

Looks like i'm ahead of the curve, then, because that's been my default for over 10 years now.

Now, i don't know if i agree on a wider scale. I don't think romantic connections are rare, i don't think that there aren't enough "good men" out there (not enough men women actually want, though, now that's a different story), most men not being happy in their relationships is also something i doubt to be true,

I also don't think the desire for romantic relationships and everything they can or might entail is based on societal expectation/pressure. To a degree, maybe, and i think that's where a lot of the personal suffering comes from if you don't have luck in dating, but i think those desires are a very commonplace, natural and human thing. I think the entire "I don't want anyone and am content being single my entire life"-mindest is a lot more "unnatural" (for lack of a better word).

Former_Range_1730 · 2025-06-27T01:52:25+00:00

I find that odd because it's been fairly easy for me and most guys and women I know, to get into romantic relationships. Unless we're talking about a fringe group of people, romantic relationships seems to be the default.

Soft-Neat8117 · 2025-06-27T02:56:33+00:00

Our billionaire overlords push sex and romance on us so we have as many children as possible, which means more money in their pockets in the form of wage slaves and taxpayers.

Why would any sane person want to partake in that?

I know I'll almost certainly never have a relationship. I'm ugly, fat, bald, poor, have no college degree, no hobbies, no social skills, autism and a terrible personality. Unless I settle for my equal and that will make me even more miserable.

I'm having a hard time even getting aroused by women anymore and I try to avoid interacting with them unless it's necessary (which is hard to do since I work in a hospital, but I try not to look at them and give one word answers when they try and speak to me.)

Trxpicaldreams · 2025-06-27T04:44:22+00:00

This just sounds nihilistic asf too me

BrightAutumn12 · 2025-06-27T04:55:11+00:00

Assuming you'll never enter a romantic relationship should be the default rather than a "worst case" outcome.

No, it's a lie

I think the idea that everyone will eventually end up in a happy and healthy relationship is mathematically impossible and we should stop spreading the idea tbh because it causes discontent when people are faced with reality.

Yup, for men it is

Romantic connections are actually extremely rare, everyone should assume they're going to live their entire lives single and not actively pursue "dating," (because it usually leads to repetitive negative experiences). If it happens organically that's one thing but I don't think sexual/romantic relationships are something we should be sitting around yearning for. I think a lot of people lack friendships/familial support which causes them to fixate on things like marriage.

True?

Especially hetero women, the things I've seen friends/family members put up with just to be with A man is insane.

To be with a chaad* or atleast above 50th percentile normiie at worst.

There are statistically not enough good men out there for every woman

What you want to say is that there aren't good enough men that women in general find attractive due to hypergamy

and being alone is infinitely better than being with someone who hates you and actively makes your life worse.

Real

Most men aren't content in their romantic relationships either btw seeing the way they talk about their wives/gfs/sexual partners, they just can't get the women they want, but feel obligated to form family units anyway with women they don't want because.....? I'm not sure tbh.

You're in an utter delusion tbh. Most people are in healthy relationship. You can consume all the negative thing and ignore the raw facts.

The importance of romantic relationships has been insanely overinflated, mostly through media, so I'm alr expecting people will be outraged at the mere suggestion of dying alone. That's why 1nc3l/redpill rage is so childish to me, it's fundamentally not that serious.

Romantic success was always important. It's not overinflated. Since dating apps, everything has gone downhill due to hypergamy.

I spent essentially all of my adolescent years lusting and pining for romance/sexual experiences because i was obsessed with the concept of it rather than the reality. Now that I actually receive a lot of romantic interest I see it for what it is, can confidently say it was a massive waste of time and I wish I had been doing literally anything else. The novelty made it seem more interesting than it is. Plus everyone says having sex with men lowers a woman's value right? I want to keep mine then idk 😹. Might unironically join the convent.

I dreamt of hot romance/sexual experiences experience from chad but he just pumps and dumps so I've given up on dating. I see men under 5'7 as invisible too.

torytho · 2025-06-27T00:54:52+00:00

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

If you can't love yourself how in the hell are you gonna love anyone else?

Whiskeymyers75 · 2025-06-27T13:35:15+00:00

Posts like this are what happens when you spend way too much time on Reddit. Yet again, Men Bad

CleanPerception581 · 2025-06-27T16:15:00+00:00

Why would this make people less angry when they can walk outside and see people in relationships?

DellOptiplex7080 · 2025-06-27T16:23:35+00:00

Why not extend this to all relationships? Why not close yourself off completely?

Kreeps_United · 2025-06-27T03:36:36+00:00

No.

This is one of those extreme stances where people just poison their own well. Most people get into romantic relationships, it pretty much is the default. The men who can't get into one aren't going to be gaslit into thinking otherwise.

wtknight · 2025-06-27T00:45:55+00:00

I think that's a sad attitude to have and that it shouldn't be considered the default at all. Back in my day, before the internet, I think almost everyone had some kind of romantic relationship at some point, even if it took some time and even if it didn't work out. That we've gotten to a point where it's expected that a majority of this generation might not ever have a happy relationship at some point just shows how fail this generation is.

Hoopy223 · 2025-06-27T00:42:16+00:00

Thought we were already there. We glorify selfishness and singledom. Everything is me me me and the idea of compromise is seen as failure. Our number one way of meeting people is online dating crap where you post endless selfies and write a description nobody reads. It doesn’t help that everyone is working longer hours for crappier pay in a world that is 10x as expensive as our parents’.

So it’s no wonder that we get…..

“Where are all the good men why can’t I meet anybody does anybody date anymore…..”

esdebah · 2025-06-27T02:23:41+00:00

That's some core black pill. I'll admit that I've never been happy single, but it's not that hard to find partners. Maybe I'm not picky, but people are also in general kinda great if you're willing to get to know them. I also live in a part of the country that is full of adorable, smart women, so even dates that don't go anywhere romantic are usually quite fun, because I get to talk to an art teacher or a grad student who knows a bunch about Persian history or whatnot. I just can't agree that pursuit of romance isn't worth it. Also, having sex with men makes women more worldly and interesting. Who have you been fucking talking to?

voxpopuliberty · 2025-06-27T01:23:51+00:00

Prescription: patriarchy

BZP625 · 2025-06-27T07:06:41+00:00

The future of romantic relationships is AI companions, combined with sex toys. More for men than women perhaps. We need about 5 more years of development to perfect the process, although it will be close by next year. Mating with a human..... yuck!

GloeSticc · 2025-06-27T14:48:59+00:00

I agree with this theoretically; "love" and "marriage" as it's represented in 2025 is unrealistic for many people and should be decentered. It is probably the case that most people misplace their own insecurities in the social game and wind up becoming obsessed with the concept of a romantic ideal.

My idea? We live in a competitive environment with a scarcity and abundance of resources. Status, wealth, attention, etc. exist as a supply and demand structure. Humans are pack animals: it is probably the case that the desires that drive the S&D exist as an emergent property of our survival strategy as human beings. The implication being: these functions are natural.

For guys specifically, I think that the "misplacement" happens because there isn't as much of an emotional structure for them to meet their social needs. They look at relationships as a "cure" for whatever desire they feel deficient in. It's a hard pill to swallow if you're at the very bottom of the social hierarchy believing that your needs won't be met. Hence the lashing out, misogynistic behavior, and anger. So I think that saying "relationships are overinflated" wouldn't make sense to a lot of people. Especially people that value what a relationship can provide for them.

Do people require intimacy? Do people want to feel sexually valued? Do people want to have their sexual needs met? Usually the answer for all of those questions is yes; regardless of demographic. I would suppose "love" and "marriage" are just contemporary methods to fit our desires into a societal structure. Abolishing those functions would just make the desires reappear in a different way.

The point being: Romantic idealism can be harmful, but is a natural result of desires that human beings have. These desires are critical to our mental and physical well-being, and it's "overinflation" is absolutely justified.

I say all of this as a 21 yr old Gen Z person trying to understand the dating zeitgeist. So it's possible I'm too inexperienced to understand the complexities that exist within social and cultural dynamics of society. I fully concede that people might not even have any "natural" proclivities towards reproduction. It just makes sense to me because as life forms, reproduction is essential to our continued survival.

Vaudeville_Clown · 2025-06-27T16:40:17+00:00

That's a little defeatist. You can expect less from relationships and then just have a perfectly passable one with someone who suits you well enough, but without any of the lofty expectations.

So basically, you can apply your own lession and make the argument that it makes it easier to enjoy relationships for all the smaller things.

Why? Steady company is nice. Sex too. Collaborating on getting things done, yep, also nice. Not having to come home to an empty house, definately.

A person who just rocks your world, isn't required for any of that.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-06-27T22:56:46+00:00

The data disagrees

Title	Assuming you'll never enter a romantic relationship should be the default rather than a "worst case" outcome.
Author	duckingretard
Upvotes	32
Comments	175
Date	June 27, 2025 12:26 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1llg842/assuming_youll_never_enter_a_romantic/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/assuming-youll-never-enter-a-romantic-relationship.1555688 https://theredarchive.com/post/1555688

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