Social media and online dating have ruined dating for men

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-11-10T21:15:09+00:00

Removed for OP abandonment

jayval90 · 2021-11-10T18:23:46+00:00

Social media and online dating have ruined dating for men and relationships for women.

asshole67throw · 2021-11-10T18:27:59+00:00

Honestly just drop out of social media, or up your game.

Or, only use social media to share things that bring you happiness or value.

Don’t use it to try pick up randoms.

Seriously stop trying to game it’s a broken system. Just make friends with girls and if there’s a connection it’ll happen if not move on.

Most of attraction is just about being happy in yourself first and not trying to fake it.

RaspberryJuiceBox · 2021-11-10T19:02:42+00:00

This is absolutely wrong. Social media and online dating have lowered the average woman’s self-esteem and that’s backed up by studies showing a huge increase in depression in women.

Yes, as an average woman I can get a lot of matches and likes on OLD but that’s only because men swipe right on every woman. If men only swiped on the women they found appealing for LTRs then average women would get much fewer matches.

I don’t understand why the OP is whining that the average women of this generation is aware that we are in high-demand for sex. We wouldn’t know this if men didn’t tell us. He should be appealing to men to be choosier.

I also don’t like the OP’s attitude that average women aren’t allowed to have high self-esteem or turn down average men when we’re single. It’s as if he hates that women have rights and independence from men.

I also don’t like that he believes men get to dictate how good women’s lives are and how we’re treated based on what they think of our appearance.

All women should be treated decently regardless of how we look. Women as a group have such low self-esteem in general compared to men as a group due to being constantly compared to porn stars, models and celebrities that I don’t think anyone should judge if average women get an ego boost from online dating.

xFallacyx69 · 2021-11-10T18:21:43+00:00

I mean I agree to an extent… I don’t think you want to be with a chick that thinks online validation or getting railed by tons of decent looking dudes means her self worth is higher. You don’t want chicks that can’t figure that out. Thats the femcel/serial dater you need to avoid

modidlee · 2021-11-10T18:55:01+00:00

We can't blame women for men simping for every chick just because she took a picture. If you want women to realize where they actually rank then men need to actually make women do something to earn our attention. It's not surprising that women usually want the guy who doesn't put them on a pedestal and ignore the thirsty simps inboxing them. No woman wants a desperate guy. The one who treats them like they aren't special is actually showing he's not as desperate as the rest. Too many guys live and breathe for the approval of women. They wake up in the morning thinking what woman they can say "good morning beautiful" to and go to sleep beating off to some woman who doesn't know they exist. The irony is all of that makes you the type of guy she doesn't want at all. I know it goes against societal programming but guys are just going to have to start treating women like they're just another human being and not someone who has the Holy Grail between their legs. Because women want the attention of attractive men just like men want women's attention. The problem is men are giving women attention they haven't even earned. Your attention and time are forms of currency. If men want things to change we need to learn how to only pay attention to the women that are trying to spend time with us and ignore the rest. You kill two birds with one stone: gain women's respect while learning to respect yourself.

Ohyarlysmiles · 2021-11-10T20:00:20+00:00

Girls who are a 5 in real life now believe they are 9-10s, and reject and act stuck up toward good looking guys who wouldn’t look twice at them in a normal environment but are forced to because of this disparity

LOL nah dude, that's just how women act some fairly significant % of the time toward good looking guys.

The whole 'if you're super hot all girls will always just throw themselves at you' narrative is beyond stupid.

Women are extremely insecure. They pre-emptively DQ and reject guys, they can be very petty, etc. etc.

It’s pathetic as they are obviously only doing it in the hopes that it will get them laid, when basic social psychology has shown that this behavior has the opposite effect.

Not really. Social psychology shows that pro-social good behavior over time increases one's physical attractiveness to other people.

Edit:

For the people who don't believe women can get insanely insecure when dealing with hot guys, I pulled an OP quote from a fresh post on FDS --

I've only met 2 very attractive men and each time I ended up blocking after even though they were great and very respectful. Partially I think its due to a feeling they might cheat since they have lots of other options. I used to 'date' a good looking LVM in my pickme years and so many women wanted him and I knew if we broke up I'd be replaced quickly.

KirthWGersen · 2021-11-10T18:41:04+00:00

In my experience simping is great for men like me.

The more women hear men fawning over them, the more they appreciate a man who values himself and expects women to treat him like a mature adult. They actually prefer a man who calls them out on their shit and helps them to grow, but who is also affectionate and loving.

sarkington · 2021-11-10T18:21:35+00:00

Please point out a period of history where Joe average peasant farmer or mid-level tribal flunky was fucking more than one woman in his lifetime, war and opportunistic rapes aside

rabbit92 · 2021-11-10T19:27:04+00:00

This is sounding very misogynistic to me and not neutral at all...

Online dating as a woman is an absolute chore. You might get 1000s of matches, of those, maybe 100 conversations, maybe 10 will actually be worth meeting for the first time, and then of those, if you are LUCKY 2 or 3 will go further. Then you will realise that they literally just want to hook up and don't value you as a human being whatsoever. Very depressing.

Even if I do just want to hook up too...I want to be respected and seen as an equal. It is truly astonishing how many men, even well educated and so called progressives clearly do not see women as all the way human.

TomorrowsWar · 2021-11-10T17:51:46+00:00

Women in general have low self esteem, about half in surveys report feeling low self esteem. That’s just what it is. Not sure what the percentage is for men but women at large aren’t seeing themselves as a VS model.

Men are naturally desperate. They’re literally designed to want to jizz in every wet hole possible lol. By nature of design, men are thirsty.

That’s not a social media issue. In fact, social media has given a lot of loner men access to women they wouldn’t have otherwise. You think Suzy is gonna talk to Doesn’t-Leave-His-Home David? Or to Approaches-Every-Girl Danny? Or Can’t-Talk-To-Women Markus? No. She wouldn’t. But tinder works hard.

GoWest7 · 2021-11-10T18:30:02+00:00

So, if you had to choose between a guy who calls you an ugly 5 or a guy who thinks you're a 10, which one do you pick? Hmmmmm...

I guess, some women might be persuaded by hate and ridicule beyond absurdity. Or, just run away.

Is that what red pill is? Bully tactics at the playground? You know, like make her cry and keep her confidence really low, so she starts to believe you're doing her a favor? It's interesting!

lifeofbrittany · 2021-11-10T19:22:07+00:00

woman dont like the ass kissing and white knighting tho.

trust me, the men commenting how hot a girl is on their instagram photos are not having sex with them

DjArie · 2021-11-10T20:06:57+00:00

Whenever I start to get too cocky in life I make an online dating profile to balance out my self esteem

Yet I have no problem getting women in real life.

Apprehensive_Boat_70 · 2021-11-10T20:13:28+00:00

You talk like if those women were the most special thing in the world, most of them will only bring problems and nonsensical drama to your life, trust me you dont wanna date a woman like that.

thincelll · 2021-11-10T20:13:55+00:00

Honestly OLD isn't that bad for men, they just overvalue their looks and personality vastly

ButterscotchOk4483 · 2021-11-10T20:59:09+00:00

You actually think that ? They actually bully women , shame her ( i just read comments on girl posting her selfie telling her she must have OF or porn 💫 , you think this is complimenting ? )and if the woman don’t show cleavage or wear make up they ignore her or give her pity comments.. actually this online thing made it easier for men to get laid and damaged women self esteem

SnooGrapes7454 · 2021-11-10T21:08:20+00:00

from desperate guys just looking to get laid.

Desperate guys pile on immediately, rushing to the woman’s defense without any consideration for whether she is right or wrong.

So what you're saying is..men have ruined dating for men?

bison5595 · 2021-11-10T20:02:35+00:00

This is false. The problem for men is that we refuse to accept that we are below average and won’t fix the problem. Sacrifices are required and we won’t make them. Online dating is about presentation which means fixing your looks and taking quality pictures. Men don’t want to do that, so we come up empty. Either improve or quit complaining

SonicBackScratcher · 2021-11-10T17:46:02+00:00

Newsflash - Average men have always had to struggle with casual sex.

Also newflash - Women picking only good looking guys online are only getting casual sex out of it.

Final newsflash - Most women don't believe they are 9's and 10's because some guy says shes hot online, they know the reality from how people react to them about town. Only the mentally challenged can't see the difference,

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-11-10T18:06:03+00:00

Has it really not yet occurred to men that "You're not as hot as you think you are. Now fuck me!" will not get you pussy?

AquaChip · 2021-11-10T18:28:00+00:00

Sounds like you’re more mad about the nature of male sexuality than you are about social media. Men don’t care if other men get laid or not. When they see a woman they find attractive they will make it known. They don’t care about the men crying about not being able to get causal sex or whatever.

At the end of the day, women will choose the best and most compatible they can get. That’s human nature. Just like you would chose the best and most compatible wife you could get if you had a choice. Your beef isn’t with women or even social media, it’s with other men.

thequietstar · 2021-11-10T19:43:43+00:00

It’s bad for normies. Great if you can harness the technology for your own benefit, but admittedly very few are able to whether it be by ignorance or uh unfortunate genetics.

jawnzoo · 2021-11-10T20:46:41+00:00

social media doesn't represent real life.

also your mindset is what's holding you back

goatismycopilot · 2021-11-10T20:50:25+00:00

We get this exact same post a few times a week. How is your post different or interesting.

cccccclairee · 2021-11-10T19:21:41+00:00

The idea that women thinking they are “too hot” is somehow affected you is hilarious.

You think she thinks she a 9 but she’s a 4? Ok you probably don’t want to fuck her anyway, so who cares that she thinks she’s hotter than you think she should?

You think she’s a 7 and you do want to fuck her but she thinks she’s too hot for you? Bad news: you taking her down to the 7 you think she should be still isn’t going to make her want to fuck you.

Here’s a theory: women would rather just not get laid at all than lower themselves to someone who thinks “putting her in her place” is a good pickup line.

Urbantexasguy · 2021-11-10T19:53:40+00:00

Nah, young men have largely created their OWN problems, when it comes to online dating, in two specific areas...

LOTS of women have been driven off the dating apps, via harassment and inappropriate remarks, which is the primary reason some dating apps have such an incredibly unbalanced gender ratio. There are TONS of screen shots by various women on TikTok and Youtube that prove this. Even as a guy, I absolutely cringe at what I see on some of them. Perhaps it's because I'm a father of a young daughter, but it makes me want to grab a chainsaw.
For the women that DO remain on dating apps, mass right swiping by men, fills up their inboxes, and gives the so-called "Chads" an even bigger advantage, than they already have over average men. The "Chads" have always been limited by the laws of physics in the real world, but now they can effectively be everywhere, all the time, in front of every woman on the app. The gender imbalance, is essentially multiplied by the mass right swiping imbalance, and the mathematical result is obviously going to be bad for men.

My advice is to choose a dating app that has a better men/women ratio, and most importantly LIMITS daily right swipes. They are out there, Hinge is a good example.

superlurkage · 2021-11-10T18:04:38+00:00

this would be a valid argument if ass kissing and white knighting were what most women really want

a good number do, and good number do not

Danielcraigboston1 · 2021-11-10T18:27:37+00:00

Men are just less attractive to women nowadays. They earn less money and they aren’t physically desirable anymore. Women’s standards have also gotten out of whack as well.

figuringMylife · 2021-11-10T19:11:47+00:00

okay. yes, i get it. you’re right. social media and OLD have ruined everything. life was better for men when we all got married at 18 and women couldn’t have bank accounts or own property. what do you guys want? like import a bride, fuck prostitutes, LOWER YOUR STANDARDS, date a woman that’s a “project” (fatter than your standards/maybe doesn’t live up to your values directly) what do you guys want women to do about this? “oh no, i’m getting too much attention from hot dudes and simps - should i delete my social media?”

TackleOk3608 · 2021-11-10T19:16:55+00:00

The men who can’t get anyone to date them are rare. In the real world, average men, ugly men, and attractive men are all getting dates.

AnonymousAndy2018 · 2021-11-10T18:55:34+00:00

I agree with your sentiment, however it’s also ruined women’s chances of real marriage commitment - they just don’t know it (yet). It’s not the main reason but it’s adding to women not being able to find men to commit for life.

Having matches or interest boosts these average women’s heads that they’re actually more attractive or desirable than they really are.

I’ve done it myself: complimented a woman who had nice photos (turns out they were a bit filtered to boost her looks) and flattered her into a date which led to sex and nothing more. She was attractive enough to have “fun” with once but not my type for a relationship.

Women are taking mere interest as if 100 men ready to propose marriage tomorrow and take care of them for life.

The interest is basically at “let’s have sex at least once” from the Mens side. Women just don’t understand this. Hell, many of them are more than ready give it away no strings attached to a man they see as alpha.

Better bachelor said awhile back:

Women are sleeping “up” with men they find attractive while they fool themselves into think they’re actually “dating up” with a desirable man.

Social media (attention) is to women what internet porn (sexual pleasure) is to men.

Yes, average men are screwed and face a reproduction crisis if they continue being average and accepting less than desirable women from apps.

Enchanting_Smith · 2021-11-10T18:59:30+00:00

Social media doesnt create anything. It was created by mostly shitty humans to feed consumerism in the name of "networking"; humans made it for the purposes it fulfills, so blame the makers not the system. Thought the system needs to go.

I just see some bitter idiots in this thread honestly, a lot of you have had toxic experiences and seem to limit your thinking to one gender side and those experiences and then sometimes idk whats even happening anymore its just bitter ramblings.

How about get off the fucking apps and give real life a shot? Of course people suck everywhere honestly to a large degree, but seriously, the worlds not limited to these dumb stereotype scopes.

Its not everywhere. Of course its on the internet. If I based reddit people as the entire populations general feelings I'd be so down to just eradicate it entirely. There are simps, and two faced women - everywhere.

I agree with this post a lot - a woman actually just made a similar post saying "hey 5s, youre not as marketable sexually as you think." While a lot of the agreeing women tote "we care less about looks/sex than men". Ive said it before, women usually wont own up to what they do systemically from generations of women reinforcing the behavior. Just like women sabotaging other women - id say its more constant than the issue on this thread? honestly, but most... theyd never admit it.

Its just constant different women having two strong adverse opinions and backing it up in repeat posts. And its really a bunch of 5's on both sides going for each other at the end of the day, and honestly its an evolution thing that a lot of us don't learn the first ten times the fires hot or, in this case, the hot not in fact hot but why not give it a shot. Let the 5's go for each other, males white knighting in the comments and women accepting the praise like it isnt a new kind of institutionalized reaction.

I do have to say that I disagree with "women act snobby and stuck up when theyre only a 5 in real life" please don't tell me youre saying a 9-10 deserves to be a bitch because of looks? If so, you've lost all of my respect and this argument is now in the trash bin. Cause that completely contradicts the point of the complaint IMO. Neither male or female deserves or has an inherent right to be a stuck up bitch, neither of them, ever, no matter what they look like - you are not more special than another unless the scum of criminal minds, get the fuck over yourself. Its usually a lack of personality on both ends because she just wants loads of attention and he will give it for the prize - this isnt as common as people think imo, but, its a live practice. Wheres the curated memories and romantic intellectual conversations? They can happen, you know.

Imagine meeting a 5 on either side with the mindset of "this is a 5 I can fuck" and getting married someday? All the connection you could have had and all the memories you could make, all you could learn about this person and yourself, but you're too busy focused on aesthetic rankigs of human beings. Theres nothing wrong in analysis, judgement or observation IMO but at some point you both just need to get the fuck over these petty human trivialities and start the trend in your life of seeking people with meaning behind it.

ass-thetics · 2021-11-10T19:09:00+00:00

You will find that not all girls are on social media. And the ones that are know the quality of the men attracted to them. End of the day, if you're hot and make her feel a certain way she's going home with you. Doesn't matter how many followers she has.

Flawed_Individual72 · 2021-11-10T20:03:00+00:00

So confirming as a guy reading the 'it's mens fault we look for validation' attitudes and tunnel vision that getting if all social media was the best thing I ever did. Reddit & Messenger are all I need.

Women will dodge self awareness and criticism like the matrix. Stay single kings

wtknight · 2021-11-10T18:16:46+00:00

They haven’t ruined dating, because average women are just going to get pumped and dumped or plated by these higher value guys, and women don’t want this.

Social media and dating apps have made casual sex more difficult for men, though. Average men can still have it if they put in a lot of work, but most men don’t seem to want to put in the work, and staying at home with video games and free porn seems to be more compelling to them.

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Mrs_Drgree · 2021-11-10T18:06:44+00:00

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Mrs_Drgree · 2021-11-10T18:49:16+00:00

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Mrs_Drgree · 2021-11-10T18:55:48+00:00

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LotBuilder · 2021-11-10T20:07:12+00:00

But if you build yourself into a top tier guy you can slay.

Bold_Bastrad · 2021-11-10T20:48:04+00:00

Respectfully, on a scale on 1-10, what are you?

Plane_Bandicoot · 2021-11-10T21:02:41+00:00

Wow, I’m hurt. As an average woman, I posted a picture of myself at a concert to instagram the other day and I haven’t gotten a single dm or comment from anyone besides my friends. Guess I’m uglier than I thought. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Or your view is skewed and you need to leave social media for your mental health.

neetykeeno · 2021-11-10T21:14:43+00:00

Lol. How dare men of the blue check tribe talk to women who are members of our nobodies tribe. How dare they banter and use emojis and be personable and look good in photos. And the filthy way they dance, with all those hip movements...oh sorry, wrong century and wrong conflict over access to women.

Dude. You could try being a somebody if you don't want to be a nobody. I mean seriously.

AreOut · 2021-11-10T21:22:30+00:00

"I’ve seen actual CELEBRITIES with the verified blue check on IG commenting and flirting with random nobody chicks. Like what the fuck are these guys doing, that’s just greedy."

most of them aren't doing that because they want to fuck those women, they do that mostly just to ruin it for other guys because they are dickheads that have tough childhood traumas they are trying to heal this way

imjgaltstill · 2021-11-10T19:17:50+00:00

So what? Those thots have devalued themselves to the point where you can order a woman like a pizza.

Title	Social media and online dating have ruined dating for men
Author	JoeyBatters
Upvotes	45
Comments	266
Date	November 10, 2021 5:37 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/qqzoms/social_media_and_online_dating_have_ruined_dating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/social-media-and-online-dating-have-ruined-dating.1084822 https://theredarchive.com/post/1084822

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