If "men want only sex" why do you then shame them for paying for it and not getting in relationships?

SirTruffleberry · 2022-07-19T15:08:42+00:00

The people who feel this way aren't shaming you into relationships with them. They're trying to shame you into not wanting sex.

Kerberus77 · 2022-07-19T11:59:50+00:00

I don’t think men only want sex. Men are humans just like women and want to be loved and appreciated. However, there are men who are only looking for sex or wouldn’t like to pursue anything more with me and that’s okay as long as they’re honest about it. None of that manipulation shit. I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with a man who feels forced to be in it. Who cares what men I’m not dating do. You can hire all the prostitutes in the world for all I care. I think sex work should be legal.

GlowingAsItDazzles · 2022-07-19T11:40:51+00:00

women shame men for using prostitutes because they think its gross, they DGAF what means reasons are

2022-07-19T14:48:46+00:00

Pussy cartel

ruboyuri · 2022-07-19T18:39:09+00:00

I have no problem with men doing what they want (as long as they’re not hurting anyone), and not doing what they don’t want

It’s the part in parentheses that I’m concerned with

ashpr0ulx · 2022-07-19T11:51:35+00:00

i don’t think men only want sex. a lot of men want loving healthy relationships.

i wouldn’t shame a man into a relationship with me. i want someone who genuinely wants me in their lives.

i do not care if men want to pay for sex to satisfy their urges. do you.

decoy88 · 2022-07-19T11:25:18+00:00

I am confused because I do not think somebody can be shamed into a relationship. When has this actually happened?

I would not know if a man was paying for sex or doing the SD thing unless he told me.

But does it bother me that a small minority of men who have the money to do SD instead of dating me or other women? No. Why should it bother me?

I think what actually happens is women are a bit oblivious to this. Then here or somewhere else a man says oh yah I am only seeing women through the SD method and one or two women say " ick " and then the man says " stop shaming me".

nemma88 · 2022-07-19T11:40:24+00:00

it for simple money payment are ruining your SMV?

Why would paying a value that everyone can understand ruin Sexual Market Value?

Financial_Leave4411 · 2022-07-19T14:33:50+00:00

I don’t think all men only want sex.

I don’t shame men who do and pay for sex.

That being said I wouldn’t be in any type of romantic relationship with a man like that because our life goals and moral values don’t match. They can do their thing and I will do mine. Overall men shouldn’t expect women to be a doormat and be willing to give up their own happiness and peace of mind to interact with men who hold this belief.

Stunning-Spirit5275 · 2022-07-19T19:09:23+00:00

Paying for sex implies a man has neither the SMV nor the looks or skills needed to pick up and have casual sex with a woman: hence it is seen as anomalous by women. The male “sex drive” or more specifically spontaneous arousal is considered to be an aberration by modern gynocentric standards, therefore seeking out sex, except as an accessory to commited and provisional relationships is vilified by women. For women on the other hand, having sex whenever you want, with whom you want independent of long term commitment is now celebrated as a mark of empowered femininity, which is great. But when the same paradigm is even remotely applied to men in the modern context? Vitriol ensues. Go figure

2022-07-19T15:47:37+00:00

I don’t give a fuck what other men do. I only care what my partner does, I would never be with someone that uses sex workers.

Totalweirdo42 · 2022-07-19T11:41:35+00:00

This is laughable. I don’t want a man who’s only interested in sex. I don’t care if men pay for sex. Nor would I ever “guilt” a man into a relationship. Have you been outside? Some men do want relationships, I know this because they are the ones to try to get into one with me. But I don’t care what any man I am not in a relationship with does.

Express-Fig-5168 · 2022-07-19T11:43:18+00:00

In my personal experience IRL, only women who desperately want to hurt a man or get a specific man shame men, I personally am not interested in doing either so I don't care if they have escorts, see prostitutes or whatever else. If you don't want me that isn't my problem.

There are also some women who end up getting used for sex alone and get upset and lash out. I don't believe in lashing out because it won't help much but there are your answers OP.

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-07-19T14:34:38+00:00

Because of sexually transmitted diseases, and because of the trafficking, abuse and even murder of sex workers, and little technicalities like that.

Ok-Map-7596 · 2022-07-19T11:41:34+00:00

Probably for the same reason men use shaming tactics on a woman who's a prostitute despite thinking resources is all women want from men.

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Bekiala · 2022-07-19T19:37:05+00:00

I worry about the abuse and exploitation of women but I'm not convinced sex work nor their customers are necessarily a bad thing.

I come from a pretty straight and narrow set of values; however it seems so many men can't find partners and celibacy is just miserable for them. In a way I'm deeply grateful to the women who do this service even if I'm not completely comfortable with it.

DatchikOvaDere · 2022-07-19T20:23:18+00:00

Men who don’t want to be in relationships but want a sexual release should pay for it. I know far more men who only want sex but then pretend to be serious suitors than women who are trying to force men into relationships that the man does not desire. It seems to me that when women say that they aren’t willing to engage in casual sexual encounter instead of men cutting their losses and moving on, they will choose to continue to pursue the chaste women. I also find that most men won’t hire escorts/prostitutes because they don’t match the image of what they think are the type of men who hire sex workers. Men are the main ones who made laws against prostitution yet somehow women, yet again, are getting the blame for their actions.

That__EST · 2022-07-19T20:42:40+00:00

I don't. I think sex work is great, should be legalized, regulated, and sex workers protected.

When talking to guy friends over the years who have been sex starved, they were the ones who reacted in disgust when I suggested they pay a sex worker.

Having sex with a sex worker is sex limbo as it is. A man can't "lose his virginity" to a sex worker. A man can't have sex with lots of different prostitutes and become a high N count man merely through that. Sex work is for when you really want a sex act from a certain type of girl out of the ordinary but you're just interested in a bit of quick experimentation, not putting in a lot of effort. If you're sex starved, it's just going to be expensive masturbation.

But yeah, go ahead. This woman has no problem with sex work and thinks it's great. You won't get any shaming from me.

ddouchecanoe · 2022-07-19T23:35:17+00:00

Men don't only want sex, they also want tacos.

Doogie76 · 2022-07-19T14:41:28+00:00

Most men pay for sex one way or another. Just in theory the woman you court has had less strange dick than a hooker. At least you hope...

houstongradengineer · 2022-07-19T16:26:47+00:00

Other people's bodies simply aren't about what YOU want. Period. What's hard to understand?

Usually men are happier in relationships. It's human nature to want love and not just sex. If you decide that's too much for you, I understand. I don't understand you have to drag women into literal prostitution for what YOU want. Deal with your lack of relationships in your own way, without spreading diseases and pregnancy to people you don't even help care for to that level.

We all know you don't want your moms and daughters to be prostitutes... Because you actually care for them. Well, other women are people, too. Shocking, I know. Don't pretend that you don't understand why we might not want women to be in that position.

Are you trying to eliminate competition?

Are you serious right now? You think that your daughters and mothers, you think that women who are disturbed by prostitution, are competing for Johns? I have never thought about my "SMV" in my life. I'm not a fan of casual sex, to put it lightly. I do not compete for Johns.

Let me be absolutely clear. Let me not misplace the point. I never want to have sex or a relationship with any man who would be comfortable being a John of any kind. I cannot think of any amount of money that would be worth it. I don't want that fate for myself, and I don't personally want that fate for my nieces or for any other woman. Women should be able to contribute to society without that. Lopsided or coerced sex is not a healthy way to operate production and reproduction in society. I get that you like getting your nut, but try a stroker or your hand FFS.

MoveFeeling8807 · 2022-07-19T22:24:55+00:00

Women shame men they deem unworthy of reproduction, they don't hate all men for paying for sex. It's an engrained repulsion of beta males. Do you think a woman chasing a star athlete cares how much money that athlete spent on women? Nope, they want to be next.

launcelot02 · 2022-07-19T14:55:13+00:00

Power in the relationship dynamic for the woman is severely hindered. So, in order to get these guys back women shame them.

Let’s be honest. If a man is in a relationship he is paying for the woman just as a prostitute in exchange for the possibility of sex if he does everything he is told. It is just cheaper, guaranteed, and less headache for the man with a prostitute.

Drougen · 2022-07-19T17:58:22+00:00

Because men getting what they want easily makes women / relationships have less of a demand.

anon018274031 · 2022-07-19T14:49:35+00:00

Why would I care if a man I don’t know is having sex with someone else? (Assuming there is consent and they are both adults)

And maybe it’s because you are a guy, but a lot of these guys you’ve probably heard express this crazy girl they are fucking is chasing them for a relationship, are saying something COMPLETELY different to her face.

I’ve seen it in ex guy friends myself. The girl is being told loads of wonderful things in bed, promises where the sky is the limit. But to the lads he was saying how she’s needy, and they are just fuck buddies.

Then eventually they get bored of her, break her heart, and because everyone thinks they weren’t even in a relationship she gets labeled as crazy for her ‘over reaction’.

Seen is several times now.

sarkington · 2022-07-19T14:37:41+00:00

I don’t shame, unless you have a shitty attitude about the industry and it’s workers

EulenWatcher · 2022-07-19T11:35:25+00:00

I don't believe all men seek only sex. A certain subset of men is interested in sex only, but there are also men who want to have partnership, companionship, family, kids etc.

I don't think sex work is ethical. You can't buy consent and if you're okay with using another person's body for your "sexual urges" although you know they don't want you, that's...disturbing. You're free to do so, of course, as long as it's legal where you live, but I wouldn't date you nor be a friend with you if I knew you were doing it. It goes against my values.

It isn't about my own SMV though. I'm married and I'm bi. If all men suddenly stopped being interested in women who weren't prostitutes, I'd probably just stick to dating women. I didn't do it back then because there are fewer bi women than heterosexual men and because I live in a highly homophobic region. Moving to a bigger city would help with it though.

MassageGymnist · 2022-07-19T18:52:48+00:00

Dating is a loose art of prostitution.

delight-n-angers · 2022-07-19T19:57:45+00:00

Nope. I routinely encourage both hetero dudes and unicorn hunting couples to look for a sex worker (where it's safe and legal to do so) if all they're interested in is sex. At least with a sex worker the exchange is mutually beneficial and consenting. I think prostitution should be widely legalized.

MassageGymnist · 2022-07-19T20:00:16+00:00

Women enjoy putting other women down subconsciously seating themselves on whatever hierarchy they deem fit. So shitting on prostitution gives them a higher sense of self worth

srqfla · 2022-07-19T20:13:36+00:00

Because we shame people for doing things that are easy. We don't shame people who do things that are difficult.

Women can get sex anywhere. Therefore we shame female promiscuity.

Men have difficulty obtaining sex. When they achieve it organically in abundance, we quietly admire them.

Shebalied · 2022-07-19T18:52:12+00:00

Same reason men shame women who have been with other men before them: power.

I don’t shame men for going to prostitutes, I just don’t respect them and I find them low value. You can’t cheat your way out of everything in life.

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-07-19T11:36:41+00:00

[permanently deleted]

januaryphilosopher · 2022-07-19T13:06:15+00:00

I don't try to shame anyone into relationships. You can have all the casual sex you want, although that's certainly not what all men want. I just think that paying for it is wrong. Prostitutes aren't my competition, as I'm not in that market anyway, and a non-prostitute necessarily can't offer the same thing as a prostitute. The price of sex with me isn't high, it's free. Because I only have sex when I want so don't need to be paid.

Sophiatab · 2022-07-19T16:07:02+00:00

Women shame men for using prostitutes in parts of the world where prostitution in illegal because women are often victimized for being sex workers.

freespirit1963TJ · 2022-07-19T18:11:56+00:00

The reasons people shame men for paying for sex: technically illegal still many places, the societal stigma attached to human trafficking, the fact that there is STD's and a higher instance of drug use amoung sex worker's. Even as progressive thinking as our society, or a faction of it, think they are, there are many things that are still driven by religious and societal norms and expectations. In a former career I had experience dealing with sex workers and the sex trade. Many places enforcement of sex related activities are pretty much smoke and mirrors. There are some larger jurisdiction's who have vice unit's. Many of the smaller agencies don't have the funding. So they go through a couple (possibly just once a year) of times annually and have a sting. They coordinate with their local news agencies and make a big deal out of the sting. This, they hope to put a shred of fear into people who are at least contemplating it.

KayRay1994 · 2022-07-19T19:53:09+00:00

I’m a man but i’ll answer this anyway

1) most guys lie to women and tell them what they want to hear so they can sleep with them, if a man just says he wanted only sex most women wouldn’t even go out with them

2) men also shame other men for prostitutes - it isn’t a “women shaming men” thing, it’s a social stigma

The9thElement · 2022-07-19T23:13:03+00:00

Lol no one’s shaming anyone into being in a relationship with them.

womandatory · 2022-07-20T01:24:54+00:00

Men who think it’s okay to buy women are not good men.

TermAggravating8043 · 2022-07-19T13:22:00+00:00

This exact post was donenabout a week ago.

gofigure62 · 2022-07-19T13:43:10+00:00

I don't

pearllovespink · 2022-07-19T16:44:52+00:00

The part you’re missing is men LIE about their intentions. Not all of them are saying “I just want sex”. If men were honest, things would be a lot easier.

2022-07-19T19:09:01+00:00

You're conflating two different rhetorics by very different women.
Thinking something is viscerally gross (sex dolls) does not mean you think something is Immoral.

Booexgirlfriend · 2022-07-19T21:31:22+00:00

I just don't want to date a man who has paid sex workers in the past. Is it so hard to understand?

Do that but forever. If it's legalized, I move abroad if necessary.

Sir, get on your horse and move on, you're not my problem anymore.

poppy_blu · 2022-07-19T23:10:39+00:00

Marriage rates haven’t been affected in countries where prostitution is legal.

Cute revenge porn though. Albeit far from original.

Wolfwoman333 · 2022-07-19T23:26:20+00:00

😧😧wow…what did I just read😂 the problem isn’t men only being interested in sex, the problem is when men say they want a relationship and all these other things when they only want sex.

Who shamed men into relationships with them? And to the few woman that do, do men not shame woman into relationships too?

I think the problem to men only wanting sex in a relationship is that they want to do what turns them on vs what turns their partner on. Woman take longer to get aroused, and a lot of men aren’t consistently patient enough for that.

The problem I have with sex work is not with the woman, but with who runs the industry and the ppl who take advantage of the woman. Most of the time It also ruins how those woman look to society and their family. Which causes lack of support.

Also ALL the woman IK in sex work have some type of mental illness that only worsens after starting working SW.

InfamousBake1859 · 2022-07-20T02:59:40+00:00

men who are not worthy of a relationship only want sex. Does that clarify it with you?

girl_in_flannel · 2022-07-20T03:45:44+00:00

You gotta give men more credit. A lot of men want love and a monogamous relationship.
I truly don’t care what men who have no bearing on my life do with their wallets or dicks as long as it’s not hurting anyone.
Women are more aware of the exploitation that occurs in the sex industry, therefore have stronger opinions against it. It should be legalized and regulated IMO.
Most women I know are very sex positive and support sex work as a valid job.

Ludens0 · 2022-07-20T08:49:26+00:00

Men do not want only sex. That is fking absurd and totally crazy.

It is also absurd to shame them.

Title	If "men want only sex" why do you then shame them for paying for it and not getting in relationships?
Author	SUS_pended
Upvotes	68
Comments	238
Date	July 19, 2022 11:14 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/w2q6ww/if_men_want_only_sex_why_do_you_then_shame_them/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-men-want-only-sex-why-do-you-then-shame-them.1123873 https://theredarchive.com/post/1123873

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