When women say they want a man to show more emotion, what they are really asking for is healthier emotional communication

abaxeron · 2022-09-19T11:36:11+00:00

Why do you ALL, ALWAYS assume that we men have not tried?!

MC-Purp · 2022-09-19T06:16:34+00:00

Women want to hear women approved emotions for women approved grievances for women approved lengths of time.

Just look at how often feminists tell men they are man children for expressing emotions about things that feminism has not agreed is an acceptable thing to be upset about.

Also, when women talk about men need to be more emotional, what that really means is how your emotions make her feel. She wants you to feel emotions that she can share in and feel good about. Not actual real fears of yours.

Obj3ctivePerspective · 2022-09-19T13:30:37+00:00

It means they want a man to show more emotion about the woman's emotion. It's not about the man being more emotive about his own life

shadowofdoubt13 · 2022-09-19T15:18:12+00:00

When you date women as a MAN, you must project masculinity and leadership and confidence at ALL times. Do not listen to this garbage guys

DiligentProgresses · 2022-09-19T03:22:28+00:00

As long as your feelings fall within the narrow approved parameters 🤣

SmilesLikeMardiGras · 2022-09-19T03:51:49+00:00

what they are really saying is "tell me how much you love me and how you'd die without me"

AlfredTheGreatest · 2022-09-19T11:30:06+00:00

When a woman asks you to open up and be honest about your feelings it's like an employer asking you for a criminal record check. They want you to be honest... so they can find out if there's anything in there they don't like.

tharkyllinus · 2022-09-19T10:20:06+00:00

My wife's eyes just glazed over when I talk about things. She wonders why I can't hear her anymore after 33 years.

Blame_the_Muse · 2022-09-19T03:28:08+00:00

She wants to know his feelings about HER and THEIR RELATIONSHIP

Not his whiny feelings about his life or whatever

2022-09-19T05:12:34+00:00

In my opinion it has to be mutual where both parties are allowed to vent to eachother and help eachother out. Also still vent to other support networks and seek therapy when needed. I would get upset a girl if she only vents to me and never changed or tries to change and refuses to get more help. I would definitely leave her if she blames me for her inability to change

Aubrey_D_Graham · 2022-09-19T14:36:59+00:00

For the men, communicate in this way if she is attracted to you. Emotional communication is comfort, and comfort does not precipitate desire.

For the women, how has your day been going, honey?

smallstarseeker · 2022-09-19T12:33:09+00:00

When women say they want a man to show more emotions, they express a need. They are not asking to be our psychotherapist, what they are asking is for us to comfort them.

Women are on average higher on neuroticism, anxiety. So when men act emotionally distant and closed because something is bothering them... like a car related problem. Women tend to thing, "does he love me, did he found someone else, is he cheating on me?".

Everything would be much easier if women were able to properly communicate their emotional needs.

ZealousidealAd7191 · 2022-09-19T04:59:03+00:00

No when women usually talk about “emotional communication” they’re usually talking about communicating in a female way. There is rarely consideration for understanding or empathizing with the way in which men experience and deal with emotions. It typically is a woman demanding a man change the way he deals with his emotions to suit her needs.

-angels-fan- · 2022-09-19T18:21:46+00:00

Man: "Wow... that Gillette ad made me feel kind of attacked and I didn't like it"

Women everywhere: "You fucking babies!! Grow up and act like a man!"

Man: Whelp... that's the last time I let a vulnerable emotion slip.

Anykindofland · 2022-09-19T05:09:16+00:00

When women say they want men to talk about their emotions more, they mean men in general, not the guys in their lives. The random stranger on the street, Bob from accounting she rarely speaks to, the boyfriend of the cousin of her husband? Sure, they should totally be more open about their emotions. But the guys she is attracted to will find out that women lose attraction fast if male emotions come to close to them.

WilliamWyattD · 2022-09-19T11:23:14+00:00

Men are not allowed to be OVERCOME by their emotions. You can be sad or angry or depressed, for a while. But it must always seem like you can put these feelings aside and do your manly duties at any time that they are required.

And this is a good thing. This is part of what masculinity is about. Threats don't make appointments. What good is a man who you can't depend on in an emergency because he might be in his feelings?

Women don't bear this particular burden, but they bear plenty of their own gender specific ones.

bison5595 · 2022-09-19T09:27:01+00:00

What women mean is they want you to care about there feelings. They don’t really care about our feelings. Well, that’s American women. I can’t speak for foreign women

EnteFetz · 2022-09-19T15:27:46+00:00

I think what women actually want can be explained with an analogy:

Immagine that every human has a box in which we collect our past trauma, unprocessed feelings, weakness etc...

Most people have something in this box. The box is very personal and most people keep the content of their box secret.

Women hate weak men. Women evolved to find mentally strong men who are leaders while rejecting weak men who can't stand up for themselves or their family. Women want to be protected by their man and need to be sure that their man is capable to protect and provide for her and her children.

Because of this, women are terrified of finding out that her man actually has hidden emotional baggage which could make him too weak in case shit hits the fan.

Because of this women demand that men open their boxes and show what is inside.

Women want to check and be sure that his box is empty.

That is what she means when she tells you to talk about your feelings.

She must verify that the box is empty.

The problem is that most men have things in their box that they don't want their girlfriend or wife to see.

Women can tell when her man is hiding something.

When she tells you to open up, she is effectively holding you at gunpoint to open the box and to show her that the box is empty or else...

If the box is actually empty, she will be happy.

If your box is not empty, she has reasons to leave you and will loose attraction towards you.

That is why most men advise other men to never open up. She is almost certainly going to find something that she does not like and that will kill her attraction towards you. But if you never proof to her that your box is empty, she will always be suspicious of you and will continously test you to see if you are actually mentally strong or not. She will do whatever she can do to get a glimpse into your box.

bunnakay · 2022-09-19T03:40:15+00:00

And to add to that: seek professional help for serious issues.

GayLubeOil · 2022-09-19T04:35:15+00:00

Only women who have delivered a baby without an epidural can truly understand the pain a man has to go through when he’s forced to cheat on his wife. It’s life shattering finding out the girl next door throws it back 10x better than the woman you married.

I agree such a sentiment should be expressed rationally, calmly, and in complete control.

ParticularDetail2873 · 2022-09-19T13:27:32+00:00

Ayy! Say it louder for those in the back!! Yes. I wish it was that easy for them to do. Guys understand what we are asking for. They do not understand how to do it, or they want to, it's right on the tip of the tongue but it will not come out. No words come out. Unfortunately, it's drilled into so many men's brains, from eaaarly childhood, to not do...ANY of that.. In all of my relationship experiences, I have found them singing the same tune.. Athe very least, it makes them weak..and the worst; makes them less of a man. (Not my opinion remember!) It's not something that can just be broke..toxic masculinity I think is..a term lol I don't wanna use it incorrectly but..my exs, male friends, and current boyfriend, the ones I got to "open up" and atleast talk about expressing emotion, or why they don't...

Told me, it's is not something men do. It makes you weak. It's demasculating. It's somehow means, you're less than. Less of a provider. Less of a man.

My current bf had an awful stepfather, who ingrained this idea, and more, into a very young child. He had trouble trying to figure out how to regulate or even hide certain emotions, to where he didn't express any at all. Anger, sadness, sure maybe, but happiness, anything related to self, self care or needs.. even like, complaining about a super hard day at work, or needing something, or anxiety fear or..like he didn't used to laugh out loud almost at all. Because if he showed emotion, he would get ridiculed. Punshed. Threatened with this idea that, if his 8 year old self showed too much emotion it would make him a pussy bitch. A weak nothing, not resembling a man. I love my bf and I wanna marry the man, and his story hurts me. I hurt for him in so many ways. But I've also seen it time and time again. So, don't forget that, not everyone is the same.. and possibly, if he's still there, he's probably still trying, in the only ways he knows. Idk. People are the way they are for a reason, and I hope we can all remember that we are ALL fighting some battle inside, and don't judge until you know the facts. Guys get shit on alot about this. Girls get shit on alot for saying what you said. People=Shit.

I think Im drifting from my closing statement lol I'm about to fall asleep but hey! Thanks for coming to my Ted talk lol

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Flightlessbirbz · 2022-09-19T19:04:55+00:00

Right, I mean I don’t think anyone really wants their partner to cry or get depressed in front of them. It happens, it’s okay, but if it’s happening all the time it’s going to take a toll on the other person too. And those emotional outbursts are more likely to happen if there is not regular adult communication.

I would also add that I’ve noticed men tend to pull away or act weird after being emotional (as in crying). I try to be supportive but have experienced a lot of conflicting behavior (between wanting comfort and pushing me away), which makes it difficult to know what to do. I understand that they feel embarrassed due to gender expectations and I don’t blame them, but this may be why some women react badly to men’s emotions. We know more how to respond to women being sad, and with a man it is tricky to be comforting but not injure his pride or smother him.

NocturnalCoder · 2022-09-19T21:35:48+00:00

In my experience, they are asking to listen more to them but for the love of God don't talk about your own or try to get support.

A lot of us understand what you women are saying, even understand the trauma that caused it, but don't get why you don't own, work through it and move to the next level

My experience anyway

2022-09-19T23:49:09+00:00

Thank you! This is exactly what we mean. and it seems so basic I wouldn't have even thought to break it down like this.

Psybur · 2022-09-21T16:34:34+00:00

They're asking you to cover them cause they're reloading.

Title	When women say they want a man to show more emotion, what they are really asking for is healthier emotional communication
Author	DesperateTraffic3164
Upvotes	73
Comments	225
Date	September 19, 2022 3:10 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/xi08zr/when_women_say_they_want_a_man_to_show_more/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/when-women-say-they-want-a-man-to-show-more.1132522 https://theredarchive.com/post/1132522

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