Are forever girlfriends another category of women?

Mobrowncheeks · 2023-04-20T15:44:26+00:00

Men don’t use the word forever girlfriend. There’s no guy out there saying “ this is my girlfriend until I find the one.”

What’s happening is these guys find themselves ready to start the chapter of life with family , kids and all that internally. But the girlfriend that they have when they come to this point seems like a bad deal for one reason or another.

They then try to wait it out until things seem better and more secure. Or they end up fighting until they break up.

But now the guy is marriage and family minded, and he likely wasn’t when they first got together.

So the next women he dates, he’s dating her with the intention of finding a wife. Not just picking a girl that he likes .

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-04-20T16:00:10+00:00

I think there are a few possibilities here. One may be that these women accept being forever girlfriends. Maybe they don’t like it, but they’re still around anyway. The other thing is that men tend to be very complacent in their relationships. Meaning they might not really be that into this woman anymore, but as long as she still has sex with him and cooks his dinner, he’s not going anywhere.

Then when we see men marrying the next woman they date within a matter of months after being with forever girlfriend for many years, does that mean he’s magically found Mrs. Right? I don’t think so. I think he’s found “Mrs. Lock it Down Right Now because I miss the benefits being in a relationship gave me.” I think it’s the timing, not that these women are really more “wife material” than the woman before. I’d be interested to see the success rates of these sorts of rebound marriages. I can imagine a lot end in divorce, but hard telling.

NationalistGoy · 2023-04-20T18:50:14+00:00

I notice a lot of posts from ex-forever-girlfriends are about how they were with a man for 6 years without marriage but after the relationship dessolved the guy found another younger woman and married after like 5 months. Why they did not choose to marry the girl they knew for long and yet marry a new random girl fast?

I am gonna go out in a limb and say this. All men have already a clear picture of the type of woman they want to marry, and men are generally not afraid of commitment or marriage, the thing is, you are just not that woman. This is why the man in OP's example didn't marry her. Is it unfair to her that he strung her along for so many years, kinda yeah, but she is also at fault for not demanding commitment/marriage and if she didn't get it, she should have broke it off, because she was wasting her time.

If I had a daughter I would have this talk with her.

"Be with a guy for two years, maybe three years tops, if by that time he hasn't made a commitment to you, break it off, cause he surely ain't gonna marry you."

VehementlyDrawn · 2023-04-20T15:58:02+00:00

The honest truth women don't want to hear: Forever girlfriend means she probably gave off some orange flag that scared him away from being fully committal. Maybe not a full red flag to warrant breaking up, just enough to make him hesitate on pulling the marriage trigger.

MistyMaisel · 2023-04-20T15:27:32+00:00

In my experience of watching my brother....it's because those relationships had major issues that couldn't be resolved, but both people were sort of "objects at rest" and both people were kind of hoping the major issues would somehow disappear if they just ignored them or stayed together long enough. But both people were ready for marriage and commitment, just not you know, with someone where they have those major issues. So they break-up and he meets the girl who fits him and commits.

HobbitShaker88 · 2023-04-20T18:09:16+00:00

" they were with a man for 6 years without marriage but after the relationship dessolved the guy found another younger woman and married after like 5 months."

I am the "younger woman" (Except I wasnt younger LOL) My husband was dating and engaged to another woman for 4 years and called off their wedding. He met me 4 months after and we got engaged 1.5 years after dating, married about a little less than a year later. His ex was apparently livid as she nagged my ex into proposing and my now husband actually proposed quicker than I thought he would. I am older than his ex though (we are all similar ages though) I have known this situation to happen to many people in my life (even with the women refusing to commit) and none of the times did the guy/girl go for a significantly younger or rich man or woman right after (makes me think youre just a woman hater OP that you feel the need to say "younger")

In EVERY CASE where this situation has happened, including my husband and the other people I know- it happened because the person they dated for longer was NOT COMPATIBLE with them. But they had a hard time letting go of their ex for whatever reason (alot of these people were young when this happened, so inexperience and lack of maturity is a big one) and it had nothing to with AGE or looks. It came down to compatibility and maturity.

Why did my husband propose to me quicker than his ex? Ive asked him this and he says our connection is stronger, he can act like himself around me (she hated his hobbies and sense of humor) and I treat him better (she was critical towards him). His general description of her didnt seem to match him. For instance, she is very conservative politically and he is not.

Most breakups happen due to INCOMPATIBILITY. Not due to MONEY, AGE or LOOKS.

JSears90210 · 2023-04-20T15:48:32+00:00

Many different aspects to why this happens. One aspect I have seen is that as I got older the terms of the relationships I have been in have been much better. More respectful and generally better for both parties. I see so many relationships where the couple got together younger and they still have remants of how they were when they were in college or their early 20s. Usually from a guys perspective this means he is being treated in some ways as a less mature version of himself. And probably defaults in some ways to acting less mature because that is how the relationship has been. He meets someone new and they get/appreciate the current more adult version of himself and the relationship is on different most likely more solid terms.

Also, he has a much better idea of the type of person he wants to be with after getting more life experience. It is really hard to see incompatibilities when you have less relationship experience.

riceweight · 2023-04-20T21:55:59+00:00

To any woman over 25 who is marriage minded, maximum length of a relationship should be 2 years. Men know very quickly who they want to marry.

Stunning_Thing4208 · 2023-04-20T18:12:07+00:00

Forever girlfriends are not a category of women. You're looking at patterns rising up from common situations that couples experience while every couple is pretty much unique

NakedStreets · 2023-04-20T18:57:22+00:00

marriage is meaningless in the sense you get sex, commitment, children, etc. without it, it is mostly symbolic and women put too much weight on it

Your post is about the fact that men are not committed to the women they are not marrying…

Scandi_Navy · 2023-04-20T19:43:23+00:00

When guys date they put girls in either the fuckzone or wife material. The fuckzone is the male version of the friendzone. Where women get dick but no commitment.

But sometimes guys end up in a relationship that looks fine at first, but later she manages to move herself down into the fuckzone.

But guys are not going to tell a woman about this adjustment. They are just going to keep having sex. Keep having a more shallow less emotional relationship.

alby333 · 2023-04-20T18:22:12+00:00

My forever girlfriend never wanted to get married. For reasons she never really disclosed I assumed it was because she's the child of divorced parents. Now we have a house and 2 teenage kids shes expressing an interest in marriage she doesn't want to make a big deal about it though I think just us and the kids at a registry office then lunch I think was the plan. She'll gain nothing financially from this as pretty much all our assets are joint owned.

BigVulvaEnergy · 2023-04-20T19:24:34+00:00

In my experience, those men ended up divorced a few years later.

Meanwhile, the women ended up married in solid relationships that continue to last.

He's still single.

KirthWGersen · 2023-04-20T15:42:54+00:00

There are all kinds of reasons, ranging from not being so into the first person to the second person love-bombing them into a relationship they would not normally have chosen, with countless other possibililties in between.

People marry on the rebound all the time, even when they broke up their previous relationship.

And other couples never marry or live together and stay together forever.

GoldenHornyChicken · 2023-04-20T16:19:32+00:00

Depends on the culture you're from. Where I stand, marriage is only one way to be in a ltr among others, including living together or having a civil union at the city hall (not a marriage). In that perspective, forever girlfriend is not even a thing, just a non married couple. I personnaly find it odd and unaware to marry someone after only one or two years of relationship, or before few years living together. I wouldn't, because relationships need way more time than that to prove themselves healthy, loving and viable.

Laurely4u · 2023-04-20T19:28:07+00:00

I recall “John John” Kennedy Jr strung Daryl Hannah along for SEVEN years until she gave him an ultimatum. He replied “I don’t like ultimatums” in a curt tone, then he promptly married Carolyn Bessette.

Enough_Chemistry3258 · 2023-04-20T21:04:39+00:00

In my experience sometimes its just people learning then realizing their partner may not be the right one for them. Well more so they were the right person but not the right person for their future.

RocinanteCoffee · 2023-04-21T00:16:22+00:00

Why they did not choose to marry the girl they knew for long and yet marry a new random girl fast?

They probably realized the old relationship was not the future or wife they wanted so they moved on (best for both parties as his ex is now free to move on to a better match). They learned through the old relationship what they wanted and what they offered, who they wanted and what they could not live with. They learned about themselves in a relationship. Now with this newfound knowledge they found who they were truly compatible with.

Now as an aside I'd argue that meeting someone new and getting married in a handful of months right after a long relationship is risky, but it can work out depending on the people and their situation.

Over_Noise3530 · 2023-04-21T03:00:28+00:00

He's using the forever girlfriend as a roommate because he can't afford rent while he's young. Usually the forever girlfriend is college educated and hard working. Same with starter wives. The new girl is more submissive and dependent, which he can now finally afford after he sucked the forever girlfriend dry while saving his own money in the process

Cupcakelover1985 · 2023-04-21T08:03:18+00:00

Men aren’t as content being single as women for various reasons. So a man will stay in a relationship for years with a woman who he doesn’t particularly like just because it’s at least a warm human body there to keep him company and maybe provide sex. Most men will only end a relationship if the woman is actively and consistently making his life worse/more dangerous.

If he’s actually passionate about the woman because she’s his dream women he’ll get the ball rolling as fast as she or his social conditioning allows(whichever one is the shorter timeframe).

So he can date a woman for 6+ years never want to marry her, dread going on dates with her, be disinterested in her etc but he’ll still stick around because she’s a consistent sex supply, reliable and more likely than not splitting bills and providing free labor for him. He’ll stay because it’s convenient and comfortable having her around but he the relationship will be stale and mediocre.

Then later on if he meets his dream woman he’ll move heaven and earth for her to keep her around because he’s actually passionate about her. That’s when you see a man who you thought wasn’t romantic, lazy in relationships and anti marriage suddenly switch up.

-AvatarAang- · 2023-04-20T22:54:41+00:00

Can anybody explain why marriage is desired by women (and men) in today's era? What are the benefits that being married offers, as opposed to just being in a long-term relationship? Is it the symbolic aspect of marriage, or are there economic incentives as well?

Probably a dumb question but I genuinely don't know.

ComfortableOk5003 · 2023-04-20T16:29:48+00:00

Not at all what I thought this was gonna be about…thought this was asking if women who Will stay with you forever are another category of women hahaha

und3r-c0v3r · 2023-04-20T22:57:37+00:00

I think most guys just dont want to get divorce raped, I know if I ever buy a house In my name i wouldn't get legally married ever.

thetruthishere_ · 2023-04-21T01:07:04+00:00

Only reason they are is they accept it or they are ok with it.

Im in the boat of ok with it because I dont care about marriage. If I wanted marriage I would not accept being a forever GF.

EndHlts · 2023-04-21T10:55:40+00:00

I mean, it's possible for someone to just not believe in marriage as a concept, though it's rare. I'm very relationship-focused but marriage is completely off the table regardless of how much I love a woman.

gat15 · 2023-04-20T16:49:27+00:00

I've always seen forever girlfriend as a convenience kind of thing. If you wanted her all that much you wouldn't have her in a state where she can just walk away.

NotMattDamien · 2023-04-20T16:06:03+00:00

I think some of the “forever girlfriends” are the women that don’t have intentions of finding a man that is marriage minded. They find a man and hang out and see “where it goes”. They find themselves going nowhere because they don’t have intention of building something that lasting with the man, like kids or joint financial interests. Just how the man makes them feel in the moment and they want to get as much from him but what to give him nothing or very little.

Also women who don’t really want to commit to the average marriage minded man because in the back of their minds they thinking they can find something better, thanks to social media. They would rather be one of a successful man’s many girlfriends than build life with average man.

I could be all wrong, definitely generalizing here.

pearllovespink · 2023-04-20T18:39:46+00:00

They usually turn into baby mamas after a while but yes they can be a category.

Safinated · 2023-04-20T16:38:04+00:00

No, men just don’t have a biological clock compared to women. Particularly in the minds of those willing to wait

Weird_Inevitable27 · 2023-04-20T20:55:46+00:00

A friend had his girlfriend for 4 years. He was kind of a dumbass but was a nice guy, worked a lot and had little time for friends. We didn't like her, she was the kind of women that think it's funny to berate her man in front of everybody.

So one day he met a nice woman, sweet, educated and respectful. One of their many break ups turned out to be the last.

He he began to date the sweet woman. They looked so happy and there where no more public scenes. They married 4 months later, still together with 2 kids.

He said it was like a spell broke and all of a sudden he saw how mean and bitter she was. So he accepted her breaking up and moved on.

Needles to say the bitter one came to us to talk shit about him but a friend told her, listen you treated him like shit, we where there.

She of course cursed at us and went away. Dodged a bullet for sure.

FlyV89 · 2023-04-21T01:20:55+00:00

8 years long term relationship and an engagement.

The sex dried up in the end and it was pretty vanilla from the begining, but I was able to come to terms with it, plus I made a promise that I would look after her and always be there when she needed me.

I improved a lot money and looks wise during our relationship, got my shit in order and got REALLY jacked (I've always been quite good looking and tall but I was on the skinny side, ripped-skinny, like a runner you know) and It was hard when other women started showing more appreciation and intrest than the woman I was going to spend my life with, I'm not going to lie.

I never strayed thou, but because of a mismatch in life experiences, she was ready to settle down by then and start a family, and I wanted to travel and do my own thing. With her of course, but I wanted to enjoy life more.

We couldn't find a middle ground and we parted ways amicably, thanks God.

She found a dude shortly after, way older than me (he's on his 40's, she and I are on our early 30's) and settled down and started a family. They even invited me to their wedding, her husband is a great man, he even suggested I should be their baby's goodfather, yeah, too much love for me, I had to decline that one but we get along really well. I still chat with my ex here and there and met for a coffee, some mate or a drink to catch up when we feel like.

Funny enough, I'm the one who's single now.

And yeah, I find myself attracted to younger women. I still date women my age here and there but I don't get along with them as good as with younger girls. They want to settle down and have relationships and all that, but I don't feel like going on that path ever again. Plus most women my age have children.

Thekurdishprince · 2023-04-20T17:22:16+00:00

No. These men just do not want to get married ( good for them ). Women just hate it when you don't do everything on her schedule!

TurtleDickSlap · 2023-04-20T18:08:07+00:00

If you're a "forever girlfriend" that means that you're so terrible a pick that no marriage-minded man wants to marry you. That's worse than women who are too unattractive to get a date.

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v1cgt · 2023-04-20T17:24:14+00:00

Marriage is to risky for men, so it's the second best bet. Nothing new come for a men when he marries he can't get out or a gf

ROBYoutube · 2023-04-20T15:40:39+00:00

This is gibberish to me. I don't know what you're talking about. What are forever girlfriends? Whose definition is that? Who are these people:

Why they did not choose to marry the girl they knew for long and yet marry a new random girl fast?

What are you talking about? This is nonsense man you're looking at a few posts online and are preparing to make broad categorisations to fit a portion of 4 billion women in.

wtknight · 2023-04-20T17:43:40+00:00

A man probably doesn’t trust that he can keep these women happy in a marriage. A divorce is very financially risky to most men. However, the guy probably likes the steady companionship and sex enough from these women that he doesn’t just immediately next her like he would a woman whom he only uses for short-term sex.

moomunch · 2023-04-21T00:26:41+00:00

Lots of women are way to codependent on men. They will continue a relationship despite a guy showing them they are interested in marrying them. They stay because they are delusional and think he will change his mind.

Over_Noise3530 · 2023-04-21T02:52:35+00:00

The man has some kind of resentments or jealousies in the long term relationship and does it just to shit on the first woman. But don't worry, the new one will get shit on eventually. Leopards don't change their spots.

CryptoThroway8205 · 2023-04-21T10:16:16+00:00

Don't think this happens that much.

Karmanger · 2023-04-21T14:33:10+00:00

The woman in question most likely doesn’t display/show any wife qualities if they don’t live with them. If they live with them, it’s probably a family thing.

Title	Are forever girlfriends another category of women?
Author	CommunicationNo9896
Upvotes	80
Comments	159
Date	April 20, 2023 3:24 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/12t491y/are_forever_girlfriends_another_category_of_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/are-forever-girlfriends-another-category-of-women.1215109 https://theredarchive.com/post/1215109

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