People here are too quick to dismiss men's lived experience when they tell you many average men peak later in life.

Curious_Attention719 · 2023-10-03T08:20:16+00:00

I've gotten much better in my 30s vs 20s in most spheres. I own a home now, been promoted multiple times, and have a much better physique and make better money. Romantically, this metro sucks majorly versus the one I lived in in my 20s because it's mainly a party town with delusional party or ex party girls.

James_Cruse · 2023-10-03T07:36:05+00:00

I’m in my 30’s now and I certainly know guys that peaked in their 20’s and are very much declined now.

But I would say, from my experience, MORE men have gotten better in their 30’s than they were in their 20’s - from the people I know.

I think women who reply to men with ‘Whataboutisms’ about men’s declining attractiveness in their 30’s being similar to women’s are usually young insulated women that clearly don’t know alot of men in their 30’s - they’re also usually American.

I’ve found the main issue with americans - men and women - is MOST of them are very overwight by the time they hit their 30’s. That’s not as prevalent in Australia and Europe and Asia as much as it is in America.

teasingtyme · 2023-10-03T08:07:08+00:00

OP, you seem to spend an extraordinary amount of your Reddit time posting about red pil/blue pill, alpha/beta type of topics. You need to turn this into a business for you or something.

RevolutionaryFig929 · 2023-10-03T08:49:00+00:00

What people dismiss in this discussion , is that the majority of men need to be the active part, and most men get better at it with age.

The older I get, the more i give a shut, i care less what others might think, i am more stable, i can laugh off embarrassing situations or dont even feel embarrassed, i got more secure about my flaws

IFightingFrogsI · 2023-10-03T08:22:04+00:00

People here are too quick to dismiss men's lived experience when they tell you many average men peak later in life.

VERY dishonest considering how the exact same is done by the people supporting your point of view

Like sure it works for some men who peak at an early age but a significant portion of men peak later in life.

And this is not about physical attractiveness. Women get desperate as they start approaching 30 so it makes sense that they would give the average guy a chance , whereas before they wouldn't look at him twice.

Youre using a deceitful tactic of making a phenomenon sound good by giving it a nice sounding name

Its not peaking, its being settled for

A female enters a relationship with a man shes not attracted to sexually for the sake financial comfort, a lot of times its single mothers, it ends up being a loveless, sexless, exploitative relationship that inevitably ends up being unfaithful because of the lack of sexual attraction, basically r/DeadBedrooms

Thats not a relationship, thats a perverted parody on a relationship

That man is practically STILL single and sexless

And plus, has to be proud of the honor of raising a good looking mans offspring

If thats not the ultimate spit in the face, I dont know what is

Women get desperate as they start approaching 30 so it makes sense that they would give the average guy a chance , whereas before they wouldn't look at him twice. However, from the average guy's perspective that's still better than what he had before.

No its not

Its humiliating

He spent the best years of his life rotting away in loneliness barely even seeing the light of day, trying to cope with the torture of isolation by losing himself in videogames, while she was having the time of her life, but not with him, why

Because she is repulsed by him

And now, either out of financial reasons, or because of ending up as a single mother she enters a relationship with him out of being FORCED to by life circustances and not out of genuine desire

What she obviously loves to do, is what she was doing her entire youth, having fun with elite men

And its only a question of time before that desire and pull inevitably manifests itself in reality

Those relationships dont have a drop of love, or companionship in them

Theyre a death by a thousand cuts for the unattractive guy

Laziestguy17 · 2023-10-03T07:31:40+00:00

If you are Fine with betabuxxing then okay

candikanez · 2023-10-03T08:01:22+00:00

Women's libidos skyrocket in their 30s and 40s, and you fools write them off as desperate and settling 😅😅

MxMaster9907 · 2023-10-03T09:55:34+00:00

Who was a literal virgin at 25 and things got much better once he started making bank

Well thats the thing isn’t? It’s not about age but money.

I know a lot of you think you’ll be some sort of dropped trillionaires, but in reality most of you will have boring ass jobs that won’t pay much and even if they do that doesn’t guarantee a luxurious lifestyle

Is not about money either. Your 20s is the most exciting period of your life.

l00ks-p1lled · 2023-10-03T10:09:48+00:00

If you peak later in life it probably means you'll get settled for due to your money and assets, not because you become more physical attractive.

A_neptune_song · 2023-10-03T10:42:54+00:00

As a late bloomer myself I would say professional accomplishments, and money to take care of yourself better that you could or not in your focus in your twenties ( better clothes , skincare , haircut , gym), will multiply your chance tenfold, in a short time I went from nothin to ONS, crazy matches in tinder and sexual escapades I was only dreaming about younger . I won’t say any guy will succeed , because in spite of what I said , my starting point was to be a guy socially adept , always managed to get tons of friends , and girlfriends when I was away from from holidays ( but no sex , I was a virgin until quite late ).

Safinated · 2023-10-03T13:30:28+00:00

Nope. Blue pill calls it settling, red pill calls it betabux. And the data, like age of marriage, supports it as well

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2023-10-03T14:32:38+00:00

Well, women settle after 30 because they want to have children and don't want to do it alone. Older men are not more attractive, they are being settled for.

Sillysheila · 2023-10-03T16:58:09+00:00

It’s because this is not a good solution for men in their 20s and it’s not really a helpful thing to say either. It sounds to some people like you’re saying they should just give up entirely in their 20s because no one will find them attractive. I think this kind of drastic black and white thinking and is not really realistic.

That’s 10 years. 10 years is a super long time to not even try dating, and dating, relationships, and flirting are kind of like a muscle. You have to engage it to keep those skills. It’s also important to develop social skills. Men who are 30 years old with a good job are just not automatically going to get attention from women or a lot of dates, if they aren’t also extraordinarily good looking or charming or both. This enough proves to me that earning lots is not the primary or only factor that makes you attractive to women.

Just have a gander at the dailies. There are a ton of men on there who were clearly told by the red pill they’re not attractive in their 20s and need to focus on earning instead, they have good jobs, but don’t have good social skills and so still struggle to get dates or engage with women. Not to mention TRP says you need prior sexual experience to be attractive, but then you are unattractive in your 20s so…I guess you have to pull this out of thin air somehow? (I don’t agree with this really because I think it’s dependent on the woman. Some types of women don’t want men with really high n, either).

I think college is a great time to find a long term partner, because imo women that age don’t care if you have tons of money. They’re broke, too. Broke young women with a ton of student debt are not expecting the men they date to be billionaires. I know some people are going to say “well what about older men” but age gap relationships are statistically insignificant. The great majority of people date and marry those similar to their age.

SillyMushroomTip · 2023-10-03T10:11:10+00:00

My 20s were the most depressing time in my life, 30s are night and day better

Zabadoodude · 2023-10-03T17:10:20+00:00

Women get desperate as they start approaching 30

It's not just that. Most men get a lot of attractive traits as they reach their late 20's. They usually figured out their careers, they're more confident, more secure, more competent in most things. When women say that men in their 20's are more attractive, they imagine a man who's the same in all ways, just 10 years younger. That isn't usually how it is: the younger man is more likely to be broke, awkward, shy, unsure about where he's going in life. All that affects his perceived attractiveness

pleasehelpnull · 2023-10-04T21:34:10+00:00

as a younger lady with younger friends that talk to older guys, it’s not because you guys “peak” at a much older age. It’s because you guys have money at that age and we want that money… it’s honestly not a flex because the women who do you thinks want y’all because y’all are “older” 9/10 are just cheating on you all with guys their age and using your money . I’ve even talked to several older men who said that they found out their younger girlfriend was cheating on them with much younger guy . It’s not really that you guys “peak” at a much older age. It’s mainly because you guys start actually having money to spend.

Neat-Skill-3452 · 2023-10-03T09:48:44+00:00

Again ? The same redpillish sophism again ? The same redpillish apex fallacy again ?

Always the same arguments with "muh wumen get desperate bro" "muh men become rich" "muh wumen ze wall" The facts is.. Most men dont and wont become rich or rich enough to use it as a leverage to attract women. Their economic level arent that much superior to women. Unless they are d*mb enough to date down (and end up complaining about divorce f-ing them, go figure 🙄.)

Most men dont age like B. Pitt or Clooney.. Then redpillers come back is "bUt iF hE tAkeS CarE oF hImSeLf", oh yeah ? Then why dont redpillers assume women wont also take care of themself so that they will still be at their peak !? 🤡. The genetical base and economical arent there for a shit ton of men to claim peaking to the point they would drowning over p*ssy.

There are no shortage of 35+ women far better than 22 women in looks, money etc... Women have no problem finding partner at 30+ and it's not because they are desperate but because their smv and dmv are just that great.

So redpillers, remember, if women hit the wall, then men are born at the wall.

Assuming even all this is true, in what sense is this a peak, you are just a fourth, fifth choice for a desperate person, is that peaking ? 😂😂

"I peaked bro, desperate and nevrotic women want me bro, im telling you bro, like is good bro.. U feel me, bro !? bro bro bro"

Now, men are doing better than their 20's self economical ? Yes. But nothing beat the social you had during your 20's since you were at school which is the main point here, which is what allow you to meet friends, men, women etc..

mitigated-disaster · 2023-10-03T11:34:14+00:00

Its really funny hearing people comments on men's aging and how it affects dating.

If a man has worked on himself. Got a good iob. Stayed in the gym. Went to therapy to improve himself, he absolutely will have better options as he ages. Even if he doesn't he will still have better options because women (some) are declining....there is always some form of movement.

Even myself. I'm 28 and done all the things above and right now have a choice between 7 women who currently want to date (ranging from 21 to 35). If I hadn't improved, it would be most likely from 27+ but there would still have been improvement.

Working on yourself will have you veing able to choose between beta bux or being genuinely desired but you will still get more options.

MxMaster9907 · 2023-10-03T09:42:07+00:00

*MANY men.

That’s the thing, this will not be the experience for the majority of men, i think you also were too generous using the word MANY, i would’ve said “a few”.

Statistically speaking a good portion of men will start to bald and gain weight. Your skin, teeth and body overall will start to show signs of aging.

If you didn’t date in you physical prime, what makes you think you will date when you are arguably much uglier?

The only valid argument for men of older age is financial stability. And sure the trend is that the older you become the better off you are financially but even then, a lot of men (if not most) will statistically speaking live paycheck to paycheck.

AnyIntroduction3288 · 2023-10-03T12:40:07+00:00

Men don’t listen to women’s lived experiences, either. I didn’t get male attention until my late 20’s. I didn’t get male attention until I was approaching 30. I don’t feel desperate for some weird loser who hates women and views financial success as a “comeuppance” and way to avenge himself for not getting female attention at age 21. I wasn’t getting male attention at 21 and I’m not vengeful, so why would I want a guy who feels that way?

Labayaccount123 · 2023-10-03T09:20:12+00:00

Is it because hottest men = money, status, and looks(muscular physique which takes 5 years in the gym) all of these are acquired later in life

While women are just inherently born with value ie looks and youth.

bruhminer · 2023-10-03T14:33:24+00:00

But people here are quick to dismiss it and say , no men at 20 are the hottest

You hit your peak in terms of sexual attractiveness in your 20s.

And this is not about physical attractiveness.

Completely wrong, physical attractiveness is paramount.

I personally know a guy who was a literal virgin at 25 and things got much better once he started making bank.

Sure, it's called being a betbuxx chump.

I don't know of anyone who "peaked" as they got older, it's an idiotic redpilled myth. Even if you check the stats people have the most sexual partners in their younger years, it's obvious that as you age your dating options shrink not expand, common sense stuff.

y2kjanelle · 2023-10-03T15:02:46+00:00

I believe it. Men at 20 are weird and overly horny and chasing the dream of Chad. They don’t live in the real world yet and they’re immature and weird.

I give social cues talks to a frat/their new members. They’re so young and wide eyed and you can tell they all just want to fuck. Even the nerdy ones. Even the engineers. Even the short ones. All the “less conventionally” attractive dudes men claim all want relationships and to treat women like princesses. Bull.

Men then reach their mid twenties to thirties and start acting normal. They go on dates to genuinely to get know women. They develop standards and self confidence. They develop social skills and know how to give women a good time. It’s like “woah this dude seriously thinks I’m a human being, yay”.

I’ve dated all types of men throughout college. Short like 5’5. Tall like 6’4. Skinny, chubby. Shy and extroverted. Engineering major and business major. Stoner/drinker vs homebody. I’ve honestly done it all. Dated guys of different cultures and backgrounds. Guys from intact families and guys who struggled in their childhood. Low self esteem high self esteem. Below my league and above.

Honestly most men are pretty similar and straightforward. Doesn’t matter if they’re ugly or hot or rich or broke or in ur league or out. All that matters is how much they like you and how good they are at showing you that.

That’s it. Older men are much better at catering to women they like and treating them like people. And I’m not talking ugly dad sge. I’m saying like a few years. Around 23, men start controlling their monkey brains and are like “wow women have their own thoughts and shit.”

Before that, I rly think most women should just date for fun. After that, women should date for effort.

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2023-10-03T07:17:50+00:00

Okay?

not-a-dude-at-all · 2023-10-03T10:18:17+00:00

Men just become more confident and experienced. If you somehow managed to reach same level of confidence in your 20s then you'll have more success in that age than in your 30s. Women in 20s have more free time, less demands, can easily tolerate and deal with things that they won't tolerate in your 30s.

purpledaggers · 2023-10-03T13:00:32+00:00

Styles also change and some guys look better with their natural styles in one era, that look like shit in another era. The lumberjack nerd looking dudes were cleaning house in the 2000-2010s, but seem to not be doing as well now in the 20s.

modidlee · 2023-10-03T14:42:07+00:00

more likely to give the average guy a chance

And discover that they actually like the “average guy” better than the other guys they were chasing after previously

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-10-03T14:59:18+00:00

It just sounds like you guys are falling for being a betabux when you argue this.

I don't necessarily believe in AFBB but a lot of sad sacks in dead bedroom marriages.

RuggedIndividualist7 · 2023-10-03T15:35:19+00:00

Before I hit 25, dating and casual hookups seemed like a very achievable thing for me but nowadays I get no attention.

I also never pursued a career and still work the same crummy jobs I did when I was younger because I never made it far in college.

It's almost like people look for different things depending where they are in life. /s

And I've read as much.

When you're young, money isn't that important but as you hit 25-45 it becomes more about stability and then when you're elderly, it's just all about love and companionship.

For guys like me, it's gonna be slim pickings until I age another 6 years or so. Sure, I can probably find sex but I'm over it.

I'm often reminded of my father's path in life: he didn't mature till around 35 and started a family - then he started another with my mother 10 years later and had me when he was 46 and she was 33.

Diligent_Bandicoot91 · 2023-10-03T15:45:28+00:00

Its not that they peak later.

At around 30 is when women begin to think about getting into a reationship with the end goal of kids or marriage.

Since the men they are normaly attracted to are few in number or just not willing to settle they will give men who are mildly attractive and with provider traits a chance.

Some Men experience this and in their perception it is true, they get more attention in their 30s. In their 30s the markers of stability are more visible.

Its nothing to do with them becoming more mature or more confident, they were always worthy of relationships to begin with.

Men should decide whether or not that's a bad thing

Leaving-trunk · 2023-10-03T15:48:44+00:00

Things have gotten better for me but I’ve always been like a 9 or 10. I just learned intimately a few things that I never wanted to believe when I was younger. For example I got laid plenty as a young man but if I had behaved slightly differently I probably could have tripled those numbers. So I guess I disagree in my case because I always had the potential but never had the confidence and appropriate attitude.

TheLonerCoder · 2023-10-03T17:12:36+00:00

Literally depends on what you want. If you want the best looking women, men DO peak at around 20-27 yos since they are the most youthful, healthy, and attractive at this age.. which attracts the most youthful, healthy, and attractive women (18 - 23 yos). Sure, you can get more money or whatever at 30-45 but you will not have access to the best, quality women you could've had when you were younger.

badgersonice · 2023-10-03T17:54:13+00:00

I’m an average woman who peaked late— extremely few men approached me when I was in my teens and 20s, and yet I was successful in dating in my 30s and found a man I am deeply attracted to… all while I’m supposedly a disgusting, worthless, dried-up old post-wall hag.

The vast majority of men here will simply say I’m lying rather than engage. Likely you too, based on my experiences here.

The simple truth is that people trust their own personal experience over random anecdotes and exceptions they read online.

Non-normie187 · 2023-10-03T20:36:29+00:00

It's not just about women in their 30s getting desperate. That's a factor, sure. But I've pulled fit women in their 30s that aren't desperate, and that never would have spoken to me when we were both 20. I've also dated women in their early 20s that could have any guy they want. These girls would never have noticed me when I was 22, but they all notice me at 32. It's not entirely explained by desperation, and seemingly not at all for me.

My career is ok but not outstanding, and I'm not noticeably overweight(I am overweight though 😀). I think it's about confidence and unambiguously being anatomically a man as opposed to a boy. Men treat me with more respect now too. This is just me though.

Women's taste is extremely varied, if it's just about ripped male physique then stud early 20s guys win. For most it's usually not or barely about that. It's just that scrawny, shy, broke, ugly guys in their early 20s always lose. Trust me, I know.

harmonica2 · 2023-10-03T21:16:25+00:00

I also got much better with women in my 30s.

It seems that women just prefer men in their 30s rather than 20s, if that's true?

Wang_Tulong · 2023-10-03T21:27:46+00:00

Whats sad about this is that I dont think it's a dating thing and more of just an economical issue. Give people access to money and they'll start using it to improve their lives in a variety of ways. A lot of the realistic advice that's geared towards men simply isnt possible when they cant afford to pursue it. Most young guys are broke and simply cant afford the level of things that are required to elevate themselves.

You don't need to be a millionaire but having good clothes, good car, decent place to live and being able to afford an array of hobbies/skills that you'd like to pursue is not an age related thing, its a lack of money that young guys wont have access to. Most young guys resort to gaming and working out to fill their time because once you have weights and a PC then the financial barrier to entry is over. Young people in general move towards things that require low financial entry because they don't have a choice and then they get ripped on and called lazy for occupying their lives with the only things they can afford

Ghost_Hound · 2023-10-03T21:56:04+00:00

I think a reality of the world today especially is that more men realize they *can* peak in their 30s. There are a lot more open strategies men can learn to focus on in order to improve in a really remarkable way or several ways during that period of their lives. I'd say this is even more true because more men are single and unmarried in their late 20s/early 30s and so they have more motivation to do so.

My personal story is one of a man whose life was good in his 20s and is now great in his mid 30s mostly by accident but if I look back I did all the "right things" for myself around 30 to begin the ascent.

Mr_Chad_Thunderpenis · 2023-10-03T22:18:29+00:00

For short term potential? Men peak in their 20s, that's just a fact.

For long term potential? Obviously 30s.

But having more options later in life doesn't mean much. The odds are good but the goods are odd. The qualities and traits men value for longterm are significantly scarcier in the 30+ group.

Ok_Smile_60 · 2023-10-04T13:36:38+00:00

This sub in general is men saying ‘here’s how life is from everything I see’ and then being told their experience doesn’t matter, shut up

Title	People here are too quick to dismiss men's lived experience when they tell you many average men peak later in life.
Author	Novel-Tip-7570
Upvotes	61
Comments	174
Date	October 3, 2023 7:16 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/16yl69e/people_here_are_too_quick_to_dismiss_mens_lived/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/people-here-are-too-quick-to-dismiss-mens-lived.1233873 https://theredarchive.com/post/1233873

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