If women say they don't enjoy casual sex, why does hook-up culture still exist?

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2024-01-06T13:44:08+00:00

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illusoryfindings · 2024-01-06T09:50:02+00:00

Lots of people have some kind of cognitive dissonance between the image of themselves they have in their mind, and their real selves determined by their actions.

A lot of the time, when a woman has told me she doesn't do hookups or casual, she'll end up doing that with me anyway.

I think it's because they don't want to be judged as easy or slutty, or they got swept up in the moment and the fun and emotions. Because when I point this out, their explanations are usually some variant of "Oh this is different because it happened organically and there was a real connection"

People in general just lack self-awareness, watch the ones in your life who say "Oh, I would never do that!" whatever that is in a given context, and you'll find plenty of them end up doing it anyway.

Humans gonna human.

zaqariah9999 · 2024-01-06T08:49:27+00:00

it depends by what you mean "casual sex" i think women love hook ups with fwb or with guys she knew before from friends groups and stuff. but when it comes to ONS and random hook ups yea its less enjoyable and more risky. but i think single women who may want just sexs seek it from places other than dating apps and random men, and rely more on friends and social circles.

fucksiclepizza · 2024-01-06T08:49:45+00:00

Some women like casual sex and partake and some don't.

TermAggravating8043 · 2024-01-06T08:47:31+00:00

They don’t. The woman that enjoy casual sex don’t complain about it, the woman that want something more serious are the ones complaining

You talking about 4 billon people, of course their not all going to be saying the same thing

Shoddy-Cherry-490 · 2024-01-06T10:07:44+00:00

Women are not against casual sex per se, i.e. women who say they require commitment from a man before engaging intercourse are often more flexible than they claim. Indeed as others have pointed out in this thread, for the right guy, women will drop any requirement for commitment.

The real issue could perhaps be described in terms of supply & demand.

For average women, the following is true:

Great supply of opportunities for sex means the value of any given opportunity to have sex is lower. Because the value of any given opportunity to have sex is lower, the risk of passing on that opportunity is also fairly low and in turn, the incentive to want to convert any given opportunity for sex into an actual sexual encounter is also lower.

Combined with the fact that women generally don't achieve orgasm as reliably as men, the incentive for fast/casual sex is overall quite low.

For the average man, however, the situation is quite different:

The supply for potential opportunities to have sex is generally lower, which means that any given opportunity to have sex is actually quite valuable. The risk of passing on an opportunity is then much greater because the next opportunity may be far off into the future. Therefore, there is a greater incentive/motivation for a man to convert an opportunity for sex as quickly as possible.

Now as mentioned, there are occasions when the script flips. When a woman is presented with a rare opportunity, she will be in a situation similar to the average man. All the sudden she will be the one getting fomo and therefore, she will be incentivized to act on the opportunity fast instead of waiting for signals of commitment.

Ag116797 · 2024-01-06T08:46:24+00:00

That's a lie. Women indulge in casual sex you just have to turn them on.

Waiwirinao · 2024-01-06T08:52:39+00:00

Some say they dont, but most that do wont say it cause of the social stigma.

notmyrealnamepapi · 2024-01-06T09:14:00+00:00

women can't be lonely,

This is so stupid lol. Women can be lonely too

that getting sex is real easy

You think because you can have sex you can't be lonely?

VVSICEYYY · 2024-01-06T10:17:16+00:00

Most women love casual sex. When they say they hate it just beta provider / tradcon bait

bonjarno65 · 2024-01-06T08:37:38+00:00

A lot of women do enjoy causal sex. So the premise is false. Women are humans too and humans are very sexual mammals.

KikiYuyu · 2024-01-06T08:52:39+00:00

If one man says his favourite colour is blue, why does another man say his favourite colour is red?

That's what you sound like right now.

Different women like different things.

lacuti3 · 2024-01-06T08:37:25+00:00

It gives women plausible deniability.

Before my boyfriend met me, a European woman and East Asian woman slept with him to try to move to Los Angeles (where we are both born and raised). They slept with him quickly after meeting to frame it like it was a hookup that happened organically and try make him fall for them and bring them to the states. This is why I always laugh when guys talk about passport bros but that’s not my point here.

Women want the option to use casual sex to manipulate and take advantage of men.

Gold_Supermarket1956 · 2024-01-06T08:30:55+00:00

Because you're taking what they say at face value and not reading between the lines... Women control men with sex... They will not easily give up such a power... So they say one thing and do another...

Cethlinnstooth · 2024-01-06T09:01:23+00:00

Well y'know... sometimes people do stuff they know is neither smart nor likely to be particularly fun and is only partially enjoyable but also partially gross... usually out of boredom. Why do people sit through the whole movie or play the whole game through when they've decided it is crap? Why do people wear the old trends when the old trends return despite having loudly rejoiced at them leaving? Why am I going to eat too much of that block of cheese I bought and end up shitting my guts out because I don't have a gallbladder? Why do retired people get hooked on the slot machines?

Anyhow. My personal experience of women participating in pickup culture is that they are young, poor, not particularly into intellectual amusements like reading...and bored. The Pill is like six bucks for three months and she can insist he provide a condom. And at least it's not boring. Even if it is a bit gross a lot of the time.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2024-01-06T11:02:38+00:00

Sigh okay let's break it down a bit. 10 women

Lets say a minority of women really enjoy casual sex hook ups - cold approach - ons tinder and clubs. That's 1 out of 10

Lets say another minority are high libido and like casual sex - warmish approach. These are your fwbs as opposed to ons - 2 out of 10

Lets say your average women mostly don't enjoy casual sex... Except on occasion (breakups, rebounds, just felt like it). 5 out of 10

Lets say there are the women that are more against casual sex but will be willing to try it out/do it a couple of times in their lives - 1 out of 10

Lets say there are women who really really hate casual sex 1 out of 10.

Oh look! Suddenly despite the fact that 7 out of the 10 women don't want casual sex 80-90% of the time... There's still a lot of casual sex going around!

It's like... People behave in a spectrum instead of a binary yes or no!

wtknight · 2024-01-06T11:53:16+00:00

A user on here made a "donuts analogy" a while ago that has always made sense to me. This isn't how they made the analogy, but I've adapted it in my own mind based upon how I see it:

Most people say that they don't want to eat donuts because donuts aren't a healthy food to eat.

Some people who say that they don't like donuts really stick to their word and don't eat donuts. But...,

Many people will end up eating a donut because it tastes good to them at the time. And...,

Some people who eat that donut end up regretting that they did it. However...,

Just a few people will have no shame and admit that they enjoy donuts.

This is how women seem to view casual sex. They aren't "liars" for saying that they don't like it but then doing it, but they can't help but indulge themselves if they are in the right mood for it and they see the right donut.

MasterTeacher123 · 2024-01-06T12:32:14+00:00

One thing that’s important to understand is that “casual” sex isn’t just hooking up at night clubs and shit. It’s any sex had before a commitment. So the sex you have right before becoming official(when you’re not exclusive yet) is also “casual”. Most people have engaged in “casual sex”

TidyMess123 · 2024-01-06T08:36:54+00:00

Because women are not a monolith, and while some woman say the types of things you mention, others don’t and genuinely enjoy casual sex.

gntlbastard · 2024-01-06T09:52:52+00:00

Because what women say and what women do are entirely different things.

statsfodder · 2024-01-06T09:08:53+00:00

It is a virtue signal ... how many copies of 50 shades were sold??

SillyMushroomTip · 2024-01-06T10:38:28+00:00

So my question is, if these are women's opinions on casual sex, then why do they keep doing it?

Because women have the keep the illusion of plausible deniability. She wants to be "Chads Fleshlight" when he texts her phone

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2024-01-06T08:23:31+00:00

in a sense it barely does and is a small number of women

CJs_goldfish · 2024-01-06T08:39:58+00:00

You’re making sweeping generalizations. Some women may feel that way. Others may be comfortable using protection to mitigate risk and blowing off some steam with a consenting partner. Both are valid perspectives, and are also subject to change. The only thing you can do with a new potential partner is communicate about your perspectives and objectives, ask about theirs, and not take it personally if they don’t align.

BoringWanker · 2024-01-06T08:42:34+00:00

Well, women enjoy sex as much as men.

Many_Dragonfly4154 · 2024-01-06T08:52:06+00:00

Because they are LIARS

apresonly · 2024-01-06T08:57:24+00:00

love is the most important thing in the world to women and it feels like love (which is unhealthy and not ideal)

like anything that is unhealthy, as you grow up you realize the negatives outweigh the positives and adopt healthier habits.

darksoul1622 · 2024-01-06T09:27:01+00:00

As usual people here can't see nuance as people have shown before most women are not sluts for the most part the vast majority of women will have a n count of less than 9 in their life time what likely happens is that casual hookups are happening amongst a minority of highly promiscuous men and women who have the most casual sex.

Trikger · 2024-01-06T09:50:27+00:00

Short-term validation.

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2024-01-06T10:58:19+00:00

If people are allergic to peanuts, why does peanut butter exist?

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qwertyuduyu321 · 2024-01-06T09:30:15+00:00

If women say they don't enjoy casual sex

Well, what they mean is that they don't enjoy the idea of having casual sex with a majority of men. With them, they're acutely concerned about health and getting off.

If they man in question, however, is remarkably attractive, those concerns tend to disappear.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6532962/

Women were less likely to want to use a condom, the more attractive they thought a guy was, according to a new University of Guelph study.

A tipsy young (and thus fertile) woman who is approached by a tall handsome young lad in the club will lead to sex more often than some normie-conformy men like to admit. It's in their software (biology) to have sex (procreate) with men like that.

jamacianmecrazy67890 · 2024-01-06T09:57:12+00:00

I think it's the result of women only being attracted to such an extreme small percentage of the men. Those men have a lot of options and can leverage it into getting hookups. She knows if she doesn't give it up some other woman will.

Downtown_Werewolf_44 · 2024-01-06T10:14:39+00:00

I had a lot of hook up the past two years. I NEVER met a woman who said she was ok for hook up.

Go figure.

Recording_Important · 2024-01-06T10:40:28+00:00

Because they enjoy casual sex

januaryphilosopher · 2024-01-06T10:44:55+00:00

Some women say they don't like it and a few different women are having it. Oddly enough, they're not all the same.

njayinthehouse · 2024-01-06T10:46:27+00:00

What a silly question.

Not all women, of course.

kochIndustriesRussia · 2024-01-06T11:05:24+00:00

Maybe the 30 or 40 who comment on here don't...the other 4 billion definitely do lol

d_bradr · 2024-01-06T11:16:36+00:00

If everybody says they don't want war, why do militaries still exist?

Apparently, some people want it

krayon_kylie · 2024-01-06T11:46:13+00:00

women are not a monolith

MassiveScarcity5337 · 2024-01-06T11:53:56+00:00

Because they’re lying

SpitFireSpear · 2024-01-06T12:01:35+00:00

Plenty do like casual sex, and plenty don’t. And plenty hate the idea even

darkfire621 · 2024-01-06T12:37:01+00:00

I don’t think it’s that hard to understand. People don’t simply fit in this black and white category. Some like casual sex some don’t. It’s like when people have a few bad experiences they write a whole gender off due to their limited experiences. It’s not fair.

Ayaka_Simp_ · 2024-01-06T12:48:38+00:00

Because women are liars. Watch what she does, not what she says. They are still hooking up because they enjoy it.

AceOfSpadesGymBro3 · 2024-01-06T13:06:56+00:00

Would you really want a woman who is such a prude anyway?

purplish_possum · 2024-01-06T13:09:09+00:00

What they say notwithstanding women love to fuck hot guys.

CalligrapherSimple39 · 2024-01-06T13:15:07+00:00

Obviously some do otherwise it wouldn't be physically possible. Aan can't have sex with a woman by himself....

Little bit of a silly question dude

Sure-Vermicelli4369 · 2024-01-06T13:17:23+00:00

Sex is a tool used by women to extract value from men.

Professional-Yam601 · 2024-01-06T13:17:35+00:00

I would assume most of the women on this sub don’t like hookup culture- and most of the ones who do aren’t going to comment “I like hookup culture” on a post about how easily women get casual sex, because women tend to brag less about their sexual encounters. And this is a debate sub after all- so why would they just comment to agree?

Some women do, some women don’t. Some women are more lonely than others, some women feel satisfied with casual sex.

Just drives home the point that “all women” or “all men” blah blah is a shit statement.

badgersonice · 2024-01-06T13:28:19+00:00

Dude, I said I don’t want casual sex, and I’ve also never once had casual sex. Not once in my life. I didn’t “keep doing it”

Where is the contradiction? Am I a liar about what I want because other women still choose to have causal sex?

Hard_Corsair · 2024-01-06T13:35:05+00:00

Most women either don't partake in casual sex or try it briefly before deciding that it sucks. There's a small minority that does it regularly coupled with the rotating segment of women trying it, and the two combined don't nearly provide enough supply to meet the demand for casual sex from men, providing a major source of debate and controversy with assorted crackpot theories to explain.

Prestigious-Delay759 · 2024-01-06T13:42:04+00:00

It's almost like people don't fit into the little stereotype boxes they make for themselves and each other. One random group of one demographic cannot possibly speak for that entire demographic.

Like anything; some women do like hookup culture and some don't, and some women do or don't depending on where they are in life or where they are emotionally.

The same is true for men.

It's not magical it's just like food preferences. Sometimes you crave something, sometimes you don't. Sometimes you love a food when you're in your twenties, then you're burnt out on it in your thirties, and then you eat it again occasionally in your forties. Sometimes you find a food disgusting but then years later you give it a few more tries and you acquire a taste for it.

Once you realize that most people's sexual/romantic/interpersonal/etc. preferences are as malleable/cyclical/etc. as people's eating preferences the behaviors most people exhibit will make a lot more sense.

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2024-01-06T13:43:57+00:00

Those are different types of women and different motivations.

Many women enjoy casual sex for the sex. Not because it will make them feel less lonely

Sex isn’t a cure for loneliness and to tell someone “you can’t be lonely because there will always be a guy willing to fuck you for 10 minutes then leave” is absolutely moronic

Title	If women say they don't enjoy casual sex, why does hook-up culture still exist?
Author	-snickerss-
Upvotes	44
Comments	130
Date	January 6, 2024 8:15 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/18zv8my/if_women_say_they_dont_enjoy_casual_sex_why_does/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-women-say-they-dont-enjoy-casual-sex-why-does.1242359 https://theredarchive.com/post/1242359

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