Why do women get upset that men watch porn?

wtknight · 2024-03-01T12:07:58+00:00

Removed for being a non-neutral Discussion post. Posts like this should be flaired as Debate.

velvetalocasia · 2024-03-01T07:09:37+00:00

I think you conflate a lot of things here.

First you speak of women who consider porn consumption cheating in a relationship but then you speak on men who are not in relationships at all.

So first things first, if you are in a relationship you should make your boundaries clear. If your girlfriend considers porn use cheating but you don’t and use it, then there is no common ground and you are not compatible. You don’t have to be in a relationship with someone who has very different boundaries.

Second, who exactly tell single guys they shouldn’t use porn? It’s legal and without a girlfriend considering that cheating, who stops you?

None of that touches on the moral problems around that topic of cause.

nightsofthesunkissed · 2024-03-01T05:32:05+00:00

I think this repulsion is a lot more common among young women who are newly fallen deeply in love.

They fall madly, head over heels in love with a man, and then they find out he's unloading his balls to an endless array of perfect, flawless, surgically tweaked, labiaplastied women she sees as being a billion times hotter than she could ever hope to be, and she feels short-changed. And maybe those women are doing shit she can't or won't do sexually, so she doesn't feel kinky enough. Or she find out that he has a "type", but she herself doesn't fit it. Or he prefers the porn over fucking her.. Quite a lot of reasons for this really.

I think it's generally a thing of feeling unbalanced, possibly? Like he's all she can think about; he's all she wants. Meanwhile he still wants to look at many other women.

pleiadian_light · 2024-03-01T06:06:34+00:00

my opinion: porn is poison for your brain and often creates unrealistic expectations. also, it doesn't feel good knowing your partner is getting off to people other than yourself. many people choose to not watch porn, it's not difficult

Geoduch · 2024-03-01T08:39:38+00:00

Personally, I find it very strange if my partner gets off to images and videos of people who aren't me. I don't see much difference between that and getting nudes from someone else. Porn stars being "professionals" doesn't make this better.

I also don't feel comfortable with "sex work". It's not about the workers themselves ofc but the principle behind it all. I don't think sex should be bought and sold. The idea that you could be watching someone being forced/coerced to have sex on camera and not even know freaks me out.

TheCounsellingGamer · 2024-03-01T08:24:36+00:00

Personally I have no problem if my partner watches porn. So long as he wasn't forgoing sex with me to watch porn, or directly interacting with a cam girl, I wouldn't be upset. For me it's not a big deal. He doesn't care if I watch it either.

I can see why it is a boundary for some people though. Watching porn involves looking at someone else's naked body and engaging in a sexual act while doing so. Some people feel that sexual acts should never involve anyone else other than their partner. That is a perfectly valid boundary to have.

SmurfESmurferson · 2024-03-01T05:58:30+00:00

For the same reason men want modest, virginal women

This isn’t that hard to figure out. We all want what is “ours” in a relationship

kurlie_karrot · 2024-03-01T06:40:56+00:00

If you’re not dating anyone then watch porn. If in a committed relationship, don’t over watch & don’t sexualize other women especially in your partners presence

meangingersnap · 2024-03-01T05:59:23+00:00

Why would I be cool with a man that is into virtual cuckoldry lmao

Dishonouronmycow2 · 2024-03-01T06:07:56+00:00

I don’t get upset that men watch porn, I do take issue if I then hear that man call her a whore or consider her less than human.

Salt_Mathematician24 · 2024-03-01T05:55:28+00:00

Why do men get upset when women in their lives create porn? (Mother, sister, girlfriend, potential girlfiend, wife). Same principle, don't want women they care about to be reduced to sex objects for the masses and a naturally defensive attitude towards one's mate and loved ones against being viewed or viewing other men and women in a sexual way.

People survived without porn 200 years ago mate, with or without a partner.

I wish this was a CMV instead of a discussion post though, since the comments have already become a circlejerk - full of hypocrites that would probably say they'd never date a pornstar, and to a lesser extent, a girl with bikini pics on her instagram🤦‍♀️

They totally get it then.

TotalTravesty · 2024-03-01T05:41:39+00:00

Near as I can tell, it’s the same flavor of insecurity as men who fixate on their partner’s “past.” Some people can’t handle the idea that somewhere in the world someone beside them exists who their partner may find sexy as well. If they could, they would pluck out their men’s eyes to eliminate that risk or at least invent some kind of mental chastity belt to control their partners’ thoughts.

At least it’s not all women, OP.

LoveForRedditAdmins · 2024-03-01T05:46:30+00:00

Insecurity.

DarayRaven · 2024-03-01T05:23:05+00:00

You only live once my friend

I mean l don't see anyone telling women to delete their Instagram once in a relationship and if a guy does say that, he gets socially ostracized or "controlling"

Same principle applies here

januaryphilosopher · 2024-03-01T07:10:54+00:00

Depends on the person. Some are concerned about the ethics of the industry. Some are concerned about what getting off to content that's generally at least mildly violent or nonconsensual says about someone as a person. Some worry over the negative effects watching porn has on your brain and body. Some think that watching other people in porn is cheating. Some are members of a religious or cultural group where porn is taboo. Some are against for a combination of reasons. Some don't care. You are not starving and nothing bad will happen to you if you don't watch porn, indeed you'll likely find your mental health is better. You know it's not healthy. You can even still masturbate. You'll likely stop thinking watching porn is any kind replacement for relationships as if getting off is all that matters.

Suspicious-Tax-5947 · 2024-03-01T08:59:52+00:00

Because women love to be the center of attention, and anything which interferes with her being the center of attention is bad.

Right-Butterfly5036 · 2024-03-01T07:15:13+00:00

I have a low body count. I haven’t sent nudes. I don’t dress provocatively in public. I don’t party or go out. I haven’t had social media since I turned 20. I keep myself very fit. I never say no to anything in bed. I don’t watch porn. I did all of this mostly to feel better than other women my age but also because I respected myself and want men to respect me too. I think I should be able to ask for a man who has some level of self control and hasn’t rotted his brain away with videos of women jumping and choking on dick. It’s controversial to say but I don’t give af about the people in the video or their wellbeing. I couldn’t care less about a whores safety.

If you need another woman’s body to get off then you are not monogamous to me. I don’t think it’s insecure to not want your boyfriend/husband to have orgasms to other women. I don’t think men who ask for any of the above are insecure either. If it feels like cheating to me then it is cheating. It doesn’t have to make sense to you or any other man who watches porn.

I was valuable to men (that I was attracted to) and they either never watched it for their own reasons or were willing to stop for me. Not many women are able to ask for what I do and that really pisses them off.

6teeee9 · 2024-03-01T07:53:15+00:00

A lot of the time the sex portrays women unrealistically. They don’t understand that it’s highly edited and scripted, which raises men’s expectations for real sex which may lead to both parties ending their real sex in disappointment.

KayRay1994 · 2024-03-01T08:14:05+00:00

In general porn has negative impacts on one’s mind and can really mess with you, on top of this porn as an industry is very exploitative- now, if i’m gonna look at things from a woman’s pov, its because porn makes many men very uninformed on female sexuality and how to act during sex, generally speaking, men who consume a lot of porn are heavily misinformed about how sex is, how women act and react to sex, and try to copy what they do in porn on women they’re with. It also gives avid consumers a ton of wrong ideas; namingly over exaggerating the importance of dick size, reinforcing the idea that ramming it in is enough to pleasure her and it reenforces the idea of being a selfish lover as well.

Direct-Alternative70 · 2024-03-01T08:58:48+00:00

I watch porn with my partner when we do stuff. However…. It’s for a specific kink.

I’ve had previous relationships that neither of us watched porn bc it was the idea of lusting over the people was not okay.

MattPayneWrestler · 2024-03-01T09:11:08+00:00

Yeah, men never mind if women watch porn, or read/watch romances. Its just entertainment, who cares. She can enjoy being forever alone i guess, lol

obviousredflag · 2024-03-01T09:53:50+00:00

"I saw one woman with a fringe opinion on an extremist ideological hate board" "why are all women like this?" :D

ta06012022 · 2024-03-01T05:26:29+00:00

I've never met a woman who gets upset about porn. I know they exist on the internet for sure, but haven't actually met one irl. I've met women who watch porn though. I'm guessing most fall into the category of don't watch but don't care.

Ok-Dust-4156 · 2024-03-01T06:11:17+00:00

Never seen a women like that. I think she might be upset if you're too much into porn, at level when you start to ignore her or it start to affect your relationships. But porn isn't real and, women know that and they're chill about that. It's just a thing that men do sometimes. Being mad about pron is same as being mad about "body count", nobody actually care.

Legitimate_Type_1324 · 2024-03-01T05:33:05+00:00

The insecure ones do

His-Maid · 2024-03-01T06:48:57+00:00

I think it just depends on what type of woman and what’s going on through there mind ,I watch porn with my partner and also when he’s not around my reason for watching porn is because it gets me off I don’t look at the girls and compare myself to them I’m just looking at what they are doing and thinking about how I can’t wait for my partner to do some of those things to me and I’m sure my partner thinks the same thing.

hellamadthrowaway · 2024-03-01T06:18:09+00:00

They're massive hypocrites is the answer Men can't watch porn or follow that's cause it gives women ick. But women follow celebrities insta losers have Snapchat and violate all sane male boundaries of commitment

Don't take them seriously

Safinated · 2024-03-01T05:32:28+00:00

I dont like it because it makes sex with men unenjoyable

Virtual_Piece · 2024-03-01T05:25:24+00:00

Never understood this either. Sex is a very important thing to men and if for whatever reason a woman is not willing to satisfy his sexual desires what does she want him to do? Even though I understand it's unhealthy but I don't think women in any way try to understand how important sex is to men.

95percentthere · 2024-03-01T05:18:01+00:00

Women want all attention to be on them. Anything takes away from that - bad.

Narcissism.

Teflon08191 · 2024-03-01T05:43:57+00:00

I imagine most women don't get upset, but the ones who do are usually the kind who are so insecure about themselves that they construct grand conspiracies about how all men are "porn addicts" to rationalize their pathological desire to monopolize a man's imagination.

Professional_Chair28 · 2024-03-01T05:33:48+00:00

Watching porn isn’t the problem.

Saying you don’t/won’t watch porn, and then watching porn is the problem. Everyone has different emotional standards in a relationship.

Basically it comes down to holding yourself to the same standards you hold your partner to. For me porn is fine. For someone else, maybe they don’t watch porn so they don’t want their partner to watch porn. For some people it’s a purity thing, for others it’s a feminist thing, for some yeah it’s a sexual thing.

DevilishRogue · 2024-03-01T08:59:59+00:00

Why do women get upset that men watch porn?

Who cares?

Independent-Mail-227 · 2024-03-01T09:13:44+00:00

Because women seen themselves as perfect and if she was perfect her partner wouldn't need to watch porn, it's narcissism.

SlowEffective8146 · 2024-03-01T05:55:37+00:00

women: upset men watch porn giving them unrealistic standards

but fucking Chads who won't commit to you doesn't give unrealistic standards

woman moment on PPD all day every day

Lenovo_Driver · 2024-03-01T05:48:29+00:00

Why do people give this many fucks over what people they don’t even know and will never meet think?

It’s like you guys come here get triggered over posts people make and then make posts about it. Who cares whether or not some rando online approves of what you do or not?

GreiratTheUndead · 2024-03-01T05:40:26+00:00

Yes.

Women love sex with hot men, but for women it’s a even bigger necessity to let others think that they don’t love it. With success!

So watching porn let’s you see all the things women would do with hot men, anal, blowjobs threesomes, they fantasize about these things by reading novels. And guys still think "but those are actresses" oh yea? Ever had a chad phase and a girl offered you her best sex but also the best emotional intimacy?

Here’s another question for you: does she push you back during her ovulation? If so, she fantasizes over masculine men, maybe she’s on a girls nights out and is shaming you for not trusting her, that’s her way to get your trust and still puts herself into a position to let it happen.

Women don’t like it when their true self gets revealed by other women, because reputation matters above all.

Remarkable_Rough_89 · 2024-03-01T06:52:51+00:00

Same reason men get upset when woman say I make a lot of money and is career driven. Control is lost for opposite party

Imo porn is way less dangerous

womandatory · 2024-03-01T07:35:17+00:00

Food is essential to life, sex is not. Even if it were, masturbation does not require porn.

Next inaccurate analogy?

ilike18yoblackpussy · 2024-03-01T09:40:04+00:00

Women don't like men having sexual alternatives because it interferes with their ability to get benefits from men's sexuality.

Even if women don't want to have sex with men, they can get resources from them (like OnlyFans, for example). They have dual mating strategies of fucking one type of man when they're young and childless, then looking for another type when they're old and infertile with baggage.

Secondly, even if women have no interest in a man in terms of sex or relationships, they get social status from being able to look down on, reject and denigrate sexually unsuccessful men who desire them. If the men they designate as "losers", "incels", "creepy", and so on, don't even want them anymore and would rather jack off to porn than even waste time looking at them or talking to them, then the women start seething.

This is also why they start buttraging when "unattractive" single men who they "don't want" go overseas and have sex with women who are better looking than they are.

A lot of women want a large pool of sexless and sexually frustrated men who are constantly desiring and pining over them, so that the women can either get attention, financial benefits, or social status from rejecting them and putting them down for being sexless losers.

When the men are happily jacking off to porn featuring women who are hotter than they are, or going overseas and actually having sex with women who are hotter than they are, these women can't stand it. That's why they're trying to pass bullshit laws against pornography.

Bombos0 · 2024-03-01T05:24:47+00:00

Nope, the girl you are referring to is simply a mentally ill person who does not keep statistics for all women, especially for the concept porn = cheating.

Women watch porn too, in fact my girlfriend does too. Let's stop advertising mentally disturbed people as if they are the majority.

DeshiJuche · 2024-03-01T07:02:18+00:00

It implies low value: that a man is a chump who cannot get any irl

Suspicious-Bed-2717 · 2024-03-01T05:56:35+00:00

Inside of a relationship it's just an insecurity. Outside of relationships it's a messed up sense of authority. Oh ugly men I will not grace you with my genitals and while we are at it I'll deny you any other options to pleasure yourself. That's how some of these people think. Might be a fetish they have.

SteveSan82 · 2024-03-01T05:45:17+00:00

I never encountered that. I assumed such women are forever single types who never actually have been even on a date.

Unless her religion is against porn, she has nothing to complain about

Yeahyeahyeahsssss · 2024-03-01T07:19:57+00:00

Girl here. I wouldn’t care if my partner was watching porn, as long as he was regularly fucking me. That’s it. I should be first, porn second.

Hellizecopter24 · 2024-03-01T07:48:52+00:00

Because it means unrealistic expectations by partners for us.

This is why older girls like me get upset the most by males watching younger women in porn.

Ayaka_Simp_ · 2024-03-01T06:27:23+00:00

Because women have brain rot.

Shoddy-Cherry-490 · 2024-03-01T07:01:25+00:00

All you can say to those ladies is grow up! If the trust in your man is so fragile that have a problem with him watching porn, that's on you and that's going to be major issue moving forward. Just imagine your guy has an attractive female coworker? Perhaps they even get along...are you going to be cool with that?

Tywinlol · 2024-03-01T07:42:50+00:00

Power. They want to have monopoly over their men's sexuality. This is where their control over men comes from.

In all cases, whenever you want to understand females, look at how thier actions or desires effect power dynamics within the relationship, everything will become clear immediately. Generally speaking assume the worst and you will most likely be right.

Fabulous_HonestTea · 2024-03-01T07:51:31+00:00

Literally not a single soul has ever seen me or caught me or even known that I’ve watched pornography.

I wait until I’m alone, volume off so I can hear if there’s a door opening or an unexpected visitor, squirt one off, clean up, back to business.

It’s takes a total of 5 minutes. Maybe 10 minutes if it took me a while to find the exact right clip I wanted.

How in the ever living fuck men are consuming porn with such frequency and such visibility that it even becomes an issue in their relationship is beyond me.

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Chemical-Ad4787 · 2024-03-01T08:13:01+00:00

Most don't have a problem with people watching ethical porn. The issue lies where they are watching porn they haven't vetted as most sex workers are being exploited and if they retain respect for those who's images they use to pleasure themselves. The issue isn't porn. It's the exploitation and dehumanizing of women and children that make it an issue.

noxiouslittleman · 2024-03-01T08:27:24+00:00

A man here. I watch porn, excessively so at times. I do view it as cheating though. I watch it right now because im single and my sex drive is rather high but when I'm in a relationship? I don't even touch that shit. The porn industry is very problematic for a whole host of reasons and I feel like watching porn is a betrayal of your partner.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2024-03-01T09:03:32+00:00

Because if you love someone they are enough. I love him, I see only him, anyone else including the most beutiful actors is totaly invisible to me, he is the only one. When you truly love someone that person is enouhh you see only them. Plus why would he waste it on porn if he gets energy instead of pleasing me? I want it all the time several times a day and I would hate if it was wasted instead of me enjoying it. If you are alone I get that it's better than NOTHING. But I still don't understand what is wrong with your imagination, imagination is much better.

indigo_pirate · 2024-03-01T09:53:13+00:00

Most men are hypocrites with porn.

They would probably not tolerate their woman watching it. Imagine if they spent considerable time picking categories and could only get off if there was a variety of body types and chose specific dicks to get their rocks off when in the mood.

Most men would not tolerate even 10% of what they do.

Dressed2Thr1ll · 2024-03-01T10:15:31+00:00

I don’t think porn is cheating. I don’t think videos of sex are necessarily bad. I dont think sex is wrong or bad at all.

But I know, and any sensible and compassionate person with eyes who can read the news and interviews and research knows,

that the industry is more than rife with trauma, with suicide, with pain, trafficking, underage girls, revenge porn, intimate videos shared without consent, prostitution, coercion, desperation, violence, public shaming (In that it can preclude you from getting some job positions), degradation and regret.

For me? If there was a show I loved - and jt had these things? I couldn’t watch it.

I can’t get AROUSED by porn, understanding what i DO understand about it and not being able to vet the integrity of the material.

And even if the material was morally vetted: I think tying one’s arousal circuitry to something external like high def videos on demand…. leads to other problems with creating demand, normalizing a lot of traumatic things that are being enacted and re-enacted, and loss of sexual performance and endurance.

So: I don’t think it’s healthy, socially or physically (forget morally). Just because a cat jumps into the oven doesn’t mean you should bake the cat.

TRTGymBro · 2024-03-01T11:57:23+00:00

Maybe if you stopped jerking off for a few months, you'd have enough motivation to and get some real pussy? Just a suggestion.

Title	Why do women get upset that men watch porn?
Author	SupportRemarkable583
Upvotes	23
Comments	340
Date	March 1, 2024 5:14 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1b3m97i/why_do_women_get_upset_that_men_watch_porn/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-do-women-get-upset-that-men-watch-porn.1246803 https://theredarchive.com/post/1246803

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