100 approaches and still nothing

CoffeWithoutCream · 2020-07-19T07:44:49+00:00

that's impressive regardless of results. prob haven't done that many in my life. you're a badass for trying.

thejman82gb · 2020-07-19T07:33:22+00:00

Bro, here's the checklist:

what are you wearing?
believe it or not - your hair, is it clean and styled, not overstyled though (ditch all products, particularly ones that make your hair appear greasy, shiny, or stiff)
shoes, can't stress this one enough (make sure they're clean and fit for your clothes - NO SANDALS, you're not Jesus)
facial hair in good order (if any)
clothes that accentuate shoulders
no cargo shorts! You're not me - a dad approaching 40s
if you're like me 5'8'' then put for clothes that make you look taller - vertical stripes, shorts finishing above knees (I'm talking shorts as it is summer at the moment)
no chains, or other jewellery, unless you're 2Chainz
got tattoos? care for them
space - don't get too close, their feeling of safety is hugely important
public spaces - more likely to engage if surrounded by people - safety thing
no creeping - girls have eyes at the back of their heads, so if you plan the approach for too long she will notice and feel aware, which is never a good thing
don't approach from the back or side - make sure they see your approach
smile as you walk up and watch her reaction, if she looks and smiles - approach, if she doesn't then you have the option of walking past or giving it a go anyway, your choice
keep it simple when greeting - hi is always good
start with a question, just not 'how are you?'
keep one-liners to yourself, approach is not the time, unless they're into that sort of stuff
pay attention to what they're wearing - this could help or destroy your approach and it helps you gauge better if they're coming or going somewhere, waiting for someone, etc.
if you want to sit down and chat ask for permission, it's unlikely they'll be an asshole and say no, if they do That's not the girl you want to chase, trust me, unless the plan is to 'teach and Ditch'

Generally, your clothes, your hygiene, how creepy you are during your approach will decide on whether she engages or not.

No matter what - ALWAYS REMEMBER - you're not everyone's type - there will always be rejections. It's normal!

Most importantly - humour - if you can make her laugh in the first 30 secs to a minute and direct her from that into the flirt zone you'll get much better chances.

If you get rejected and have balls of steel ask what made her say no and learn from it. Make a joke out of it - was it my clothes, is it my hair or anything else that'll make her smirk.

Above else, your stats are banging already, keep it up!

Edit: and if that fails - tell them you can get them x many instagram followers. These days this does work. Just make sure you can do it.

If only men joined a global group for the above purpose they would get laid all the time.

cass2769 · 2020-07-19T07:23:16+00:00

Learning to approach strangers to make conversation is such a great skill. It's one I wish I was better at.

I'd caution you against making sex the ultimate goal though...I think that could cheapen the experience. Maybe just the goal of trying to initiate conversation with 100 women a month is a good goal. Dates and yes sex will happen organically from that.

harvey_croat · 2020-07-19T06:44:50+00:00

You probably need to change something

Shalayda · 2020-07-19T08:06:59+00:00

Hey brother I just wanna say you should be so proud of yourself for doing that. That's hard man. I'm proud of you and I don't even know you.

The next thing I have to say is that I think you should keep going. I don't read a ton of things this subreddit anymore. I'm sure there are some guys who have had better results in their 100 approaches but you know what? Fuck them. You're you and if you keep at it and you keep learning from each approach you will get to wherever you want to get with your social skills. And besides that along the way you're gonna meet some awesome people by putting yourself out there the way you are.

Please don't be discouraged.

rochefort369 · 2020-07-19T07:36:43+00:00

Social momentum is very useful. Try approach more consistently and rapidly in one day and aim for higher numbers. Now you’ve done 100, your approach anxiety shouldn’t be so high from the get-go. Don’t take the interactions too seriously and make them fun, as you keep going throughout the day, you’ll get more into it, more relaxed and your vibes will be up there! Hence, social momentum :)

misterandosan · 2020-07-19T09:38:40+00:00

I used to think that if I approached 100 girls, there was no way I wouldn't sleep with one of them, and it seems like I was wrong.

Wrong mindset. This isn't approach X times and get laid, it's approach, learn something about yourself and other people that you will keep FOR LIFE, bring it to the next interaction.

Get incrementally better until you look back and realise how far you've come. If you've gotten better at conversation throughout those 100 approaches, that is definite success.

Self improvement is a lifelong journey. Don't sabotage it with short term unrealistic goals. Crawl before you walk, walk before you run.

That said, things that help with cold approach:

talk about something in the moment. It's far more interesting and powerful than something canned/artificial you planned.
be honest and frank. Say why you approached. Don't be facetious and ask people for the time/directions unless you're starting from square 0 and are absolutely terrified of women
Don't over complicate things. The best opener is simply saying hello.
work on your smile/appearance. This is 90% of first impressions. If you're bad at smiling, practice smiling at inanimate objects at home (dumb, but it works). Work on posture, eye contact, what you wear, speaking clearly, etc.
keep reading good book recommendations from this sub and implement what you learn throughout your journey.

AligatorTears · 2020-07-19T08:17:05+00:00

You've seen those people on the street trying to get people to sign up for a charity right? They approach over 100 people in a day and they'll usually average one or two people signing up per day. The same is true of telemarketers. I'd call 200 numbers a day and a 1% conversion from cold calls to an in-person meeting was considered a good day. A 55% conversation rate is pretty good so it sounds like there is nothing wrong with your approach strategy, so now you just need to start working on converting those conversations into dates. Just work on the next step.

NCreature · 2020-07-19T06:54:55+00:00

55 out of a hundred that were open to a conversation is actually really good results man. That means more than half of the girls gave you an opening of some sort. It's just a matter of figuring out where you're going wrong tactically. This is where in-field footage really helps. Having someone record you (if you can) might clear up the issue real fast when you can see yourself from the third person or maybe just even recording the audio of the interaction on your phone or something and listening to it later (be careful about this you don't want to come off as weird or creepy or land yourself in trouble). You might find it's something innocuous that you don't realize like your vocal intonation or your posture or stature or something that's giving off the wrong vibe.

RichWannabe · 2020-07-19T09:07:28+00:00

I have an idea. Instead on asking out girls on a date straight forward, just get her to talk about herself, find out what her interests are and suggest her to do it together.

Example:

You: Hey, I see you jogging, you must be a sports lover!

Her: Yeah, actually, I am a huge football fan.

You: Then you must be excited about upcomming Champions League.

Her: Oh yeah, I am hyping for it!

You: Which team do you support?

Her: Bayern.

You: No way, me too!

(10 minutes of football conversation later)

You: I loved talking with you, let's watch the Champions league together at my place next week. Two supporters will bring this team more luck.

Her: Sure, here's my number.

The idea is to get her to talk about herself (because girls love to do that) and not suggest an instant date.

So_Forlorn · 2020-07-19T15:41:02+00:00

Pg. 42 of The Mystery Method

PROCESS OVER OUTCOME "A Venusian artist goes into the field night after night primarily to improve his calibration and to internalize his skill set. You're not trying to 'get this one girl' or even 'get laid tonight'. Rather, you practice with the long-term goal of having a powerful social skill set in the future, one you may confidently turn on in times of need. When you don't need it, you don't use it. When you do, you're ready.

You cannot allow the outcome of any given approach to carry much significance, at least until you reach the point-usually ten to twenty minutes into your set-when you decide that you legitimately prize the target. It's like playing a video game: If your man dies, just hit the reload button and play again. If the outcome of any specific approach becomes important to you. It'll have subtle, insidious effects on your game and compromise your win. You really do have to not care."

100 girls is not enough it will have to be thousands and you will have to stop counting by that point

evian22 · 2020-07-19T06:53:33+00:00

what do you say to the women that to approach usually?

mr_Tobbor · 2020-07-19T07:11:22+00:00

The real question is: Do you enjoy the proccess ? Keep in mind that you always need thousands of approaches. So if you don't enjoy it...

Justachillday · 2020-07-19T07:24:48+00:00

hey man, if you are new, understand that pickup is much harder than anyone would want to admit. congrats on trying.

it took me a LONG time to start getting laid from it, i was fairly young at the time and without having someone who is watching you do approaches it can be fairly difficult to see where you are going wrong

one of the best things for me was getting a good wing, hopefully you can find someone to help you

i would say right now that approaching might not be the best thing in the world since this pandemic is making things extremely awkward. hopefully you find your footing my dude, keep going

Jock_Status · 2020-07-19T07:57:46+00:00

Damn man this is some motivation you’re fucking killing it bro!!!! One date is still impressive af as your sexual skills get better that one date will end with a lay. As your skills get better you will be able to have a sexual vibe and have a meaning full convo with humor and convey your personality in such a way! Impressive bro thank you for this

autistsf · 2020-07-19T09:24:20+00:00

It is what it is. People are going to try to tell you that you can dramatically increase your odds, but you can only go so far. Game is a "numbers game" and your rejection rate will always be very, very high, even if you are a good looking, rich Chad. I would just get used to it and accept it and not have some false hope that you will one day get 25 dates for every 100 approaches or something.

JurJur · 2020-07-19T17:52:36+00:00

ppl commenting that he needs to improve on something b/c of lackluster results have never cold approached... op u should be proud! no easy feat. keep it up. i've approaced over a 160 girls and enver gotten laid yet. kissing/touching farthest i got

STD_Tyler · 2020-07-19T07:08:37+00:00

It took me 6 months of consistent approaching to get a single date! 100 approaches at the beginning is nothing. You are a beginner which means you are nervous,awkward or creepy.

So give it time, stay consistent and you will improve. And even when you are intermediate, sleeping with 1 girl out of 100 (daygame) approaches is the norm.

It is also easier to get Instagram and convert Insta DMs to dates, than phone #.

adrian-mx · 2020-07-19T06:51:57+00:00

Why not get into a hobby-activity or something that involves more people to meet girls with similar interests??

Cold approaching isnt really the best..

AFrownedUponThing · 2020-07-19T07:13:24+00:00

Where do you approach them at?

Torwulfer · 2020-07-19T09:56:51+00:00

Something we often forget, is practice means nothing if we don't iterate. You should log your approach, and success, then change to approach until you start to see the result you want.

Throwing shit at the wall isn't necessarily gonna help. But actively learning from each throw will.

NilacTheGrim · 2020-07-19T10:16:53+00:00

You’ll get better and better at it. It’s good to read that someone on here is doing this.

I bet if you do this for a year .. approach 100 a month.. you’ll be a totally changed man at the end of it.. for the better.

It’s impossible for you to not get infinitely better and get more results as you do it.

This is just the beginning. Keep at it and man.. awesome. 👏

JediSange · 2020-07-19T17:19:16+00:00

That's 100 approaches most of the people here didn't do. That alone is noteworthy.

a14deadpool · 2020-07-19T18:02:52+00:00

In my opinion cold approaching is a waste of time especially if you did 100 and still nothing. The fact that you have to desperately approach women like that to see which one wants you is obviously a sign of desperation and women can smell that it’s just very cringy.

I personally prefer to approach a woman in an unpredictable way. For example if I go to a party I don’t go looking for girls I go to have fun, I could honestly care about women. Now when I have this mindset I end up hooking up with a girl, sometimesI meet them through social circle or I approach them or they through choosing signals. It depends on how hot she is, and most of the time I’m not thinking about sex because I came to the party to have FUN with friends and get drunk no need for women. When I have this mindset I 9 out of 10 times I end up hooking up with girls because I am not needy I am just enjoying the moment and if I go home without any it doesn’t really matter cause that wasn’t my goal my goal was to have fun and it’s very easy if you’re not seeking approvals from women.

I used to do cold approach but it became very cringy and it also made me depressed cause most girls rejected me or they flaked on me etc and then I realized that I was just focusing on women not me. So I said fuck it and now I get hookups more often, technically there’s nothing wrong with cold approaching but cold approaching in a desperate way like “I approached 18 women in one day” no that’s just neediness. Women don’t want a guy that’s like “oh I met you after I desperately got rejected by 10 other women cause I approached them like a honey creep”. Nah women have like a sixth sense when it comes to that.

Now if you have social anxiety and you have zero experience talking to women then maybe cold approaching might be a good idea but not for getting laid cause most men don’t succeed that much cold approaching, and even if they succeed they work too much. Why work too much just to get sex from mediocre pussy, they’re guys that work less and get pussy, that’s why the best dating advice is focus on yourself.

shinn497 · 2020-07-19T18:16:01+00:00

Do 1000

Visualize_ · 2020-07-19T07:09:38+00:00

Congrats on 100 approaches but I think you need to be actively thinking how you can get 1% better each day by reflecting what happened on each approach. 39 people is a decent amount of people who just straight up ignored you so maybe you need to think back to why they ended up ignoring you. Maybe how you approached the girl was bad, maybe the location wasn't optimal, ect. The other thing that sticks out is only 5 out of the 55 you got the phone number. Im guessing you didn't ask for the number majority of the time, which is fair. I think even if you aren't actually super interested in the girl, you should just ask for it anyway just to build up more and more reference experience. If you are asking for it every single time and there's a rejection then maybe it's how you asked for it, or the timing.

But anyway good work dude, you seem to be on the right track and it always gets easier

redditspider1234 · 2020-07-19T07:19:55+00:00

Are your looks good? Do you consider yourself physically attractive or below average ? Working out may add some attractiveness points to your looks.

Pikappucinno · 2020-07-19T08:47:19+00:00

Don't approach alone now, it embedded your errors. Best do it with a good friend, even if he only observes

tomatedetila · 2020-07-19T08:55:33+00:00

I think it's great what you are doing, it's not easy to meet new people these days. Salsa classes are great too to get close to women, so I hope you can have it soon.

Btw, only for curiosity... Are you Mexican? Because of the MX on your username haha. I'm from Mexico, so that's why I'm asking 😝 good luck with everything!

Simply_Bry · 2020-07-19T09:19:14+00:00

Try to go for instant dates

charmbrood · 2020-07-19T09:22:11+00:00

Try another 100 more. You got this!

Underwood97 · 2020-07-19T10:07:20+00:00

First off, congrats buddy. You really made an effort to get out of your comfort zone and do this! Takes balls.

You are headed in the right direction my guy. If you are still outcome dependent, remember to harness your abundance mentality. There is no lack of beautiful women out there. Also, the reason you are doing this is to have fun and improve on your social skills. Each strikeout leads you closer to the next home run!

edwarddaniels75 · 2020-07-19T10:11:52+00:00

Hey man message me or chat and I think I can help a little

rayvin4000 · 2020-07-19T10:32:18+00:00

Are you ugly or awkward? We have eyes and we also don't like weirdos.

danielsirope · 2020-07-19T11:33:36+00:00

People always expect the results they imposed as a goal after a constant effort. But they cannot open their eyes enough to see that results are they mistakes they are making and not learning from them. Don't focus always on the result, focus on the process and be aware of your mistakes or things that are external and you cannot change.

Also in the book "Man's search for meaning" By Viktor Frankl he explains a neurosis term called "Hyper-intention" that causes people to be unable to accomplish that which they intend. The solution with and example is: Only when we stop trying to become successful or optimistic can we truly be successful or optimistic.

Rodders88 · 2020-07-19T12:01:08+00:00

Your probably an average look guy or below average. Do you lift? Are you below 15% body fat. What’s your dress sense like? Do you wear nice shoes/trainers? Fitted pants etc?

Sometimes if your style is off or your a bit overweight you can just come across as creepy.

Bravo823 · 2020-07-19T12:06:50+00:00

Once you approach a set and work it, you’ll appreciate the one on one opportunities. Working a set is a huge confidence booster as well.

pianovirgin69 · 2020-07-19T12:51:28+00:00

You have to approach groups of them

RedditUK1900 · 2020-07-19T13:21:38+00:00

Being attached to the end results is the deal breaker. You must find a way to enjoy the interactions regardless, eg, feel happy about the idea that these people could also become your friends, view them as primarily ‘possible friends’ (who you could maybe eventually fuck).

People can sense when you are viewing them as a person vs an object. The best way is to view them as both at the same time.

Also it depends on the country too. From travelling I have noticed how powerful the ‘exotic factor’ can be.

Girls outside the UK love English guys way more than girls in the UK who often prefer guys who are not from the UK.

2020-07-19T13:30:52+00:00

Persistence🔥

Dustin_Bromain · 2020-07-19T13:43:45+00:00

Wow. 100 approaches. That takes balls.

comicsandrecords · 2020-07-19T13:59:24+00:00

I wouldnt call it nothing, you got a date.

So you're presenting a few ratios, the one that stands out the most is how often you're ignored. 5/55 numbers isnt great but it's fine for a literal beginner. But nearly 40% of girls ignoring you is...not ideal of course. Be

Try to strengthen your presense. Talk louder and carry yourself with a bit more confidence and swagger. But better than my generic advice, would be to get feedback. Find someone into this stuff in your area and get them to give feedback.

bmadd60 · 2020-07-19T14:27:27+00:00

I want to say first, congrats. Takes some balls to go out there and do that.

What is your goal? Was it to do 100 approaches? if so, celebrate! you did it. But I think, as you mentioned, you wanted something out of the interaction.

The process has been tiring and demotivating in many instances, but when I remember the times I had a fun conversation with a beautiful girl, I feel like it's worth it.

If its not fun, you're NEVER going to get over the anxiety of approaching. I suggest you change your goals. Here are some FUN things that will shift your mindset:

Create the belief/affirmation that you're the type of person that talks to everyone because you're a social guy and that's what you do.
Take a notepad and a pen and approach 50 women. tell them you're doing research/project, and have them write the 3 first impressions of you. can be done in an afternoon. the feedback is almost always positive, and they love it! its chick crack.
Change your goal to a value-adding outcome, ie, make 10 girls laugh, or give 10 genuine compliments. You'll find the anxiety level drops, and the outcome dependency disappears.
Go TRY to get rejected. Ask for kisses. go hard and ask for the number immediately. start a conversation and ask them to go on a date RIGHT NOW.

I suggest that you approach this differently, and make it fun ALL the time. It will add energy instead of depleting it. And most of these will lead to more conversations!

You got this bro! Go slay.

ModernWolfStrategies · 2020-07-19T15:09:46+00:00

I’d say you’re on the right track with focusing on the positive. Honestly It sounds like you are pushing yourself really hard. 100 approaches in a month is a lot. Persistence is key, but recognizing when you are not in the right state of mind can make things a little easier. My suggestion as someone who has been where you are and eventually met my wife from approaching, always try to have fun when you’re doing these things. You’ve proven to yourself that you are fearless enough to do this over and over again. That’s further than most guys get. Now I would focus on enjoying the process. It’s also ok to take days off. Just always try to be having fun and keep a positive outlook. Incremental growth is the name of the game. Even when you’ve come to master certain aspects of approaching you are still going to get rejected probably minimum 50% of the time. I was always happy if I could get a number from 1 in 10 approaches.

Maybe try to focus on some new aspects of your social skills or your mental game each week. I used to have a theme for the week and one thing I wanted to try differently or focus on doing well.

7Saturn7Saturn7 · 2020-07-19T15:28:00+00:00

Sounds like you're doing fantastic, don't listen to the naysayers, you're well on your way. People always parrot that you need you need to fail a bunch to get to success but when someone goes out and does it they're all like "ew he's failing a bunch" lmao.

jmugs667 · 2020-07-19T15:49:32+00:00

If you want to master anything, including game, you must get a mentor. Find someone better than you and get around them atleast once a week so you can ask questions and learn how they got good. I recommend getting weekly skype calls with a game guy you like from youtube.

bobbytoogodly · 2020-07-19T15:59:07+00:00

I could never understand doing this. How was the date tho?

Fantastic-Golf-4612 · 2020-07-19T16:18:32+00:00

Still 5 numbers that you wouldn’t have got if you didn’t try

2020-07-19T16:38:36+00:00

All the best bro, Hope u get laid

SadBananaCat · 2020-07-19T17:06:26+00:00

Hey op, this might be some Advice you want to hear. Consider making a new post with a picture so we can have an idea on what you look like to see if there’s anything we can point out to help you on. One reason that you may not being having luck is actually going for higher caliber girls that you can get. If a girl is an 8 and you’re a 7 she won’t want you. Even if you’re and 8 and she’s an 8, she’ll be looking for a 9 guy. Not to say you can’t get a higher quality woman, but it’s much harder that getting a low quality woman. If you care just about game, I notice aiming for girls that you can get is easy and builds your confidence for better girls.

Back to the picture, I’m sure most guys on here won’t mind telling you what you should work on looks wise, since we can’t help you much with game over text.

BallsOfSteeeeel · 2020-07-19T17:46:35+00:00

It’s not nothing. It’s hard when you learn anything especially this. And you got a date out of it. That’s more than you would have if you just sat on the couch right?

Yea dress and look as best as you can like others have said.

Don’t forget a big one: the more things going on in the rest of your life, the better you will do with girls.

I had better success when I went for more insta dates and more importantly figured out the logistics. I would ask what they are doing right now. If nothing, go get a drink lol. What they are doing tonight? Nothing, go plan a date tonight! Or ask what’s going on tomorrow/the weekend. Then set something up. Then get their number after all that.

I used to record myself. Have some people better than me listen to it and listen to it myself. So I knew what to improve on. What not to say, What sounded weird. I’d love to give you some feedback if you record some sets. It’s hard to give advice without knowing more about your situation.

Good luck man. You are doing great just being out there and going after it is amazing. Just keep practicing and you will get better, just like with anything else!

CalmTiger · 2020-07-19T18:08:21+00:00

Your opening numbers don't seem bad so I think you just need to up your excitement and intrigue during your conversation. This means making people want to talk to you again. I think you should be converting like 10% of total approached to dates.

constantthinker22 · 2020-07-19T18:36:08+00:00

To me it sounds like you have a nervous jittery approach. Understand that body language also gives off insecurities! Maybe it’s the concept of you knowing you have an ulterior motive that makes you feel socially misplaced we’re you should try and enjoy yourself and their presence and company. While also trying to calibrate and slowly built a foundation. A conversation is an invitation of sorts . Your thinking of a end goal when you should be thinking of small victories! First a solid approach , friendly conversation to build comfort . Calibration or the delivery of physical complement that isn’t creepy and will burn what comfort you have built. Push pulls are great but you should be trying to make the conversation man to women and not waste the entire conversation being platonic if that is what your trying to accomplish . You should be trying to make it seem less as is your carefree , motive free . Well that’s what works for me hope it helps in any way !!

misser_eric · 2020-07-19T19:14:24+00:00

Very inspiring brother!! Keep up the courageous effort of approaching! I still approach myself even during this crazy time of 😷& physical distancing, which obliviously makes approaching a lot harder. I’m mostly doing online dating and have had 3 virtual dates so far all within the last 2 weeks of this post. I’ve been daygaming since October of 2019 and lil bit before that but it mostly started around that time. I’ve met & experienced many cute girls and funny circumstances based on every unique situation approach anywhere & anytime. Guys who don’t do what we do will never understand the crazy journey we go on to simply find the potential love of our lives. I wish you the best bro! Peace!!

Derk_cone · 2020-07-19T19:41:55+00:00

Holy shit dude, 100? I think the issue is that you're keeping track and you might be going for quantity over quality. Analyze how you approach a girl and if you keep good convo or you make it awkward cuz something sounds wrong

Neil1398 · 2020-07-19T20:19:15+00:00

I’m in it with you. Haven’t done 100 yet since I started consistently but I can quickly see this a number game. One thing I learned is that some girls just won’t like you.

IMO I think that you did pretty good and should keep going. You’re beginning and you already got a date. Imagine another set of 100. 2 dates. Another set 3 dates. And that’s just if you don’t improve.

I’m also not starting completely from scratch. I’ve approached in college and have gotten laid from it but I always quit after which lead to droughts.

Now I’m really just trying to increase my options. It’s much better than swiping and getting girls you barely attracted to.

presleymoore101 · 2020-07-19T20:31:00+00:00

Theirs a company called RSD. Tyler stated in a video that it took him 1000s of hours of at least 5-10 cold approaches a day for years for him to get good at game. Don't he discouraged dude these things take time.

momchillkata · 2020-07-19T20:42:55+00:00

I believe you should not be discouraged. You are grinding it everyday, sooner or later its bound to give results. Maybe im saying this since my results were a bit different but still keep on grinding!

For everyone interested. I am currently not gaming since im sick 🤧. NOT CORONA! I hope. But made a total of 7 approaches last month. The results are 3 numbers, 1 insta, 3 rejections. The girl which gave me her insta slept with me a week later on our second date. She become kinda attached so I broke it off and haven't approached anyone since. Too much going on, getting my moto license, while graduating from university (trying to anyway) and working as a full-time programmer, so I kept it low because of time/money restrictions. Hope this shitty sickness finally ends so I get to go out again. Man I wanna go to a club right about now. 😩

But anyways keep it up, dude! And keep it positive and progressive. My mind set is to always keep it fresh and just try to make a total strangers day and who knows maybe they will make your day!

iamthesage · 2020-07-20T03:06:27+00:00

Wait. You say you got "nothing".

You got a date.

You got 5 numbers.

You acted manly and went to a girl, which most guys will never ever do.

You have build skills that most men never have.

Stop being too hard on yourself.. Enjoy the journey and savor the results..

TheGreatConst · 2020-07-20T07:29:23+00:00

Dude, experienced "PUA" have statistics of sleeping with 2-3 girls out of 100, at most. Those are guys who TEACH others and think that they are the guru of pickup. Stop listening to typical PUA advice, pls. You can't relax and "just be yourself" because of all the advice you've read. Check my most popular post to get an idea of what you are doing wrong.

anon1880 · 2020-07-20T12:28:47+00:00

5% phone number score isn't bad at all

Infinitely better than 0% from a person who is afraid to live and never approaches women

Arabian911 · 2020-07-19T07:18:03+00:00

I’m not trying to demotivate you or anything, but how exactly are you expecting someone to sleep with a stranger that approached them, it’s not safe on so many levels, i as a guy wouldn’t do this with a woman, shit i would even think she is psychotic and crazy and gonna fuck up my life and that’s coming from a guy.

I understand why are you doing cold approaches and i applaud your strength but there is a point where you need to put yourself in the shoes of a stranger.

Others suggested a very good example of doing a hobby or something like that, at least any thing you can start a friendship over first

RobinHeimonen · 2020-07-19T07:34:57+00:00

You had a positive result of 61%, that’s really good.

Seems to me that you are focusing on the wrong thing here, as in “why didn’t I get to score at least once out of 100”. Thinking like that won’t really help your confidence and when your confidence is a bit of then that’s enough for you to either seem desperate or insecure.

Try to change up your game a bit, cause obviously you are really good at the ice breakers and starting up a convo, but something has been a bit off with closing. Try to use some of your material on a camera and then watch it, if you can’t use a camera in the field, then do it just Yourself for practice. It’s awkward to watch and hear yourself, but you will most likely be able to spot whatever it is that’s just a bit off from your usual game.

Im sure that you will get back to your amazing self real soon!

TheBookOfSeil · 2020-07-19T08:18:08+00:00

Nice job. Somewhat depressing, but persistence in the face of failure is still admirable.

Cyphex555 · 2020-07-19T10:58:08+00:00

Wayyyyyy too much focus on girls.... what worked for me like a charm is focus on myself. Work. Goal. Whatever related to you.

I find that approaching women just boost their ego and immediately they are like "ok whats next i can do".

My advice: find a passion, anything constructive, go to meetups and talk as if you wouldnt let anything get in between and the girl is secondary. *not the first priority, but also not the Third. SECONDARY"

Not a fan of PUA stuff... but Emotional control is extremely important, when she rejectes you, she watches your reaction under a microscope... if can say "ok no problem " before she finishes her rejecting sentence.

Girls ARE like fish, competitive feeders, one wants just because someone else has you.... so fake it till you make it. Some female friends pictures and be like "we used to have so much fun, amazing girl but then i got busy with work" and leave it at that... she will always assume that she was your girlfriend.... and it will keep her ego in check that she can and will be dumped and that you have something of higher value then her in your life.

Dont just go out like this... master some "mind games" (its a sad reality i know) but those who do get Girls do it naturally so its not a game for them.... but if you got enough enough brains you can study and mimic that.

MacintoshX63 · 2020-07-19T11:12:05+00:00

Be aware we are in a global pandemic, I stopped even worrying about cold approaching because any sensible -would be plate- is probably in the house right now.

omkar-m · 2020-07-19T11:17:02+00:00

Maybe this covid pandemic is the reason why these girls are avoiding you due to their safety issue.

adrian-mx · 2020-07-19T12:10:24+00:00

[permanently deleted]

adrian-mx · 2020-07-19T13:04:53+00:00

post a picture of your face.

Wookieman222 · 2020-07-19T13:32:13+00:00

One thing you should change is the objective. Stop focusing on the sex and just being with the woman and their company and that will likely eventually lead to sex if she feels comfortable with you. Don't make sex the objective even if it is the end game.

FlatDistance5 · 2020-07-19T13:51:32+00:00

I would start throwing in time constraints. Like Im on going to be here a few minutes, but I just had to say your gorgeous I'm...... Women appreciate it when you let them know you won't take up a lot of their time. And for me it gets me way better results

Aliceskies96 · 2020-07-19T14:36:43+00:00

Maybe you need too try less hard?

tmj623 · 2020-07-19T14:36:53+00:00

Just wondering: are these being done in the USA and/or at a place(s) where everyone is wearing masks? Could help or hurt you. Keep it up though, remember--excellent baseball players only get hits about 30% of the time ;)

MisfitCasper · 2020-07-19T14:39:06+00:00

How did the date go?

jmdiaz1945 · 2020-07-19T14:52:20+00:00

Maybe you should try to aproach if they are not alone, but the bad thing is that they may prefer to talk themselves and can easily annoy you. But its probably important not to make them feel they are being pressed to do something.

CaptainShagger · 2020-07-19T15:21:39+00:00

Regardless of the outcome so far, don’t you feel like an overall stronger person? Like you’ve grown through this process? If so, good. Think of how much better you’ll become by the 1000th approach. This is a game of improvement and you’re on your journey. Keep going man, keep believing and it’ll happen.

Just a pointer, it sounds like you’re highly attached to an outcome/have an agenda. They can smell this from a mile off. Tone it down and just enjoy the process.

appleORorange · 2020-07-19T16:20:28+00:00

Your going to get tonnes of advice about how you walk, act, wear, when did you last go to the gym, clean your teeth... there is no way any, all or some of these stopped EVERY women from being interested. So ask your self, if its none of those, what else can it be?

Its a numbers game, the more you approach, the more that reject you, the more it can in no way be anything suggested, it HAS to be something else no one is telling you...

MYNDFUKER · 2020-07-19T16:34:43+00:00

Ive always said Shoot your shot. Out of a hundred rounds something will hit. You sir have proved my point. 🥴🥴🥴 💁‍♂️ Ive never kept count 😂😂😂

pmatovu · 2020-07-19T16:41:15+00:00

Bump it up 100 more approaches slime

WizardSenpai · 2020-07-19T17:09:04+00:00

you're probably not actually flirting if you only got 5 numbers and 1 date. be more overt.

littlesaintcoupe · 2020-07-19T17:15:52+00:00

Honestly if I’m being honest I have just given up on women. I don’t know what it is about me, but I always end up getting ghosted on or just ignored. It’s kind of hard for me to approach women, but you’re definitely doing way better than me.

gigolobob · 2020-07-19T17:31:08+00:00

You’re probably unattractive

oksidasyon · 2020-07-19T17:37:01+00:00

chrisieg66 · 2020-07-19T17:45:41+00:00

Did you *actually* do all of this recently, during the pandemic and all? If yes, that fact in and of itself needs to be thrown into the mix. Also, and especially...this would mean you probably just went to a variety of public places like parks, stores, beaches ect...meaning you were not able to really zero in on the places women commonly go when they want to be seduced....Like bars, clubs and lounges.

Still, 100 is excellent. I just don't get the part where you said "I still struggle to approach" but also "most rejections don't really hurt"....so have you gotten past the approach anxiety or not? This seems contradictory.

Nauplielius · 2020-07-19T18:29:27+00:00

For me cold approaching is like jumping in the water to help you get used to the temperature, however I don't think it works for efficient results. That might come from common interest areas or clubs where it would be easier for these women to feel comfortable.

It also helps to have some status and social proof as well as decent height and the maintenance of a proper frame.

If you want to do it the pickup way like at the bar scene you need to do something to engage like an instrument or a comedy club or some cheap magic trick you could show. These are really just things which might make the process more efficient if that's what you're after. Otherwise a better bet is your friend circles and clubs.

Alexthegreat328 · 2020-07-19T19:01:04+00:00

The real question is are you on your purpose? Taking care of your mind body and finances? Or you just chasing ass all day?

notsurehowtosayit · 2020-07-19T19:18:00+00:00

These are people..individuals who were not put in place for you to practice your social skills on. So honestly, what kind of responses are u expecting from complete strangers? Mainly though, this is a really rough time to be approaching random people, with social distance and a raging pandemic I am honestly taken aback when anyone enters that 6’ “personal space”. Could you practice your skills on your friends instead? Or OLD?

Mistresslourdes · 2020-07-19T19:18:47+00:00

What did you use as a line to speak to them?

SmartPiano · 2020-07-19T19:37:49+00:00

Do you have anyone coaching you that you know in real life? It's really hard to for me to coach you since I can't see what you're wearing or what your body language is when you approach or your hair style or anything else.

I say: try another 100 approaches! It sounds like you're getting better and learning stuff.

Try to make friends too!

INFPUserLearning123 · 2020-07-19T20:24:15+00:00

Have you been wearing a mask?

Cybion_ · 2020-07-19T23:16:44+00:00

Increadible. You definetly deserve a medal for this achievement. I don't bother aproaching anyone regardless of gender let alone 100 girls

mfposgbcs · 2020-07-19T23:43:18+00:00

Same here...out of 100 that i approach , maybe 1 or 2 will go out with me......they either like you or not.....sometimes there are fakeouts...for example a girl i set up. A date with turned out to be 16. I thought she was 18-20 cuz she was smoking a cigarrete when i met her, which made her look older in my eyes lol.

IrishChocolate23 · 2020-07-20T01:00:21+00:00

Bruh you did 100 approaches in one month?

SuckySucky3fiddy · 2020-07-20T02:57:26+00:00

Only a month? You need more time to develop better skills.

However, don't take this as a red light that you should stop approaching, that's a loser's mentality. What are you going to do? Just stop approaching? That'll just make your life worse. So just keep on approaching.

Dnemesis123 · 2020-07-20T06:07:31+00:00

Do you mind elaborating on those 39 who ignored you? Did they simply not respond and just walked away? Or maybe they were extremely short or semi rude with you?

timeForRanch · 2020-07-20T23:14:39+00:00

I’m super impressed, as I’m sure most people visiting this thread and upvoting you are. To be honest, I don’t think anyone here who’s giving you advice has ever approached 100 women—especially not in such a short period of time (what, 40 days?). Even more impressive is that you’re pulling this off during COVID. Kudos

——

What locations are you attempting?

What time of day?

Those are the things I struggle finding motivation to figure out. I’m pretty good at approaching women, but I don’t do/never did my research until the last minute. I’d be interested to talk with you about the specifics of your approach, since I’m legitimately good at that, and I’d appreciate if you could help me with the aforementioned

TowelSmacker · 2020-07-19T09:04:43+00:00

Don’t try cold approaches. Make friends through groups pertaining to your hobbies and then branch out into social circles. Friends of a friend work much more effectively. If you fail, you’re already doing an activity you enjoy so there’s no loss

Goldenpanda18 · 2020-07-19T09:38:23+00:00

Personally for me day game can be a big turn off for women. When it’s a bar or nightclub girls are ok with a guy approaching but during the day this can come off as creepy.

Most girls might get anxiety straight away when a random guy approaches them so they’ll reject you out of fear.

adrian-mx · 2020-07-19T11:48:46+00:00

Day game never gets easier if anything it gets harder since you keep adjusting and overthinking what you are doing becuase results are so hard to come by.

Results are pretty low no matter what anyone says. 1 date out of 100 is pretty alright for an absolute beginner. My numbers arent that much better to be honest and ive been doing it on and off for several months. Just for some perspective go on dataisbeautiful subreddit and look at most guys doing 1000's of swipes for a date, you are way ahead doing this (and you atleast know the girl looks good before you go on the date)

YoLoDrScientist · 2020-07-19T12:34:10+00:00

If you’re approaching girls with a plan to sleep with them that’s the problem IMO.

Savaaage · 2020-07-19T08:21:13+00:00

Dude stop this shit. So much time and effort that you could've spent better but you just had to go be a thirsty dude and chase random chicks like you got nothing else to do

faintgye · 2020-07-19T09:44:10+00:00

Im 18 and i Once tried and all this girl said is my moms here so i cant do this right now to which i awkwardly said "whaat your moms here??? Despite knowing shes there and then proceeded to say we can still be friends and then realised how fucking stupid i was then just walked out the whole shop😭 cringed the whole day

aIarok · 2020-07-19T12:05:14+00:00

Hey, sounds like you’re intentions aren’t exactly clear. Maybe you don’t really see it that way, but some comments you made here in this thread are pretty cringe, especially when trying to approach girls with the intention of sex, like for example:

Most rejections don’t really hurt - nah, dude. They should hurt. Means you suck and you need to get better. If they don’t hurt then what’s your motivation for actually getting better at it. You get better cause you don’t want to be rejected cause getting rejected sucks. End of story.

I’m satisfied with seeing them smile - the fuck? No, just no. If you’re aaactually going into it with the intention of having sex, then this really shouldn’t be the case. It’s just bad vibes all around. “Yeah I really want to get laid but I’m totally alright with just making a girl smile... not good. When you run a race are you really okay with losing? If so, then you’re gonna be getting rejected for a while. No girl wants to fuck some guy that feels like getting losing is just fine. I mean, if you feel that way you feel that way but at least make it seem to the girl like you feel some type of way about it, or want to at least try harder next time.

Girls read emotions like books, they can literally feel the energy you’re trying to give off as well as usually understand your intent from the start of the conversation. If they can’t, or don’t understand what your goals or intent are at all.. then why the hell would they sleep with you? It’s like, yeah he was nice and all but like I didn’t really know if he just wanted coffee and a chat or he wanted to fuck me... so...

And yeah. Uh, its really simple to see why no girls want to fuck you. Your mentality seems messed up and you probably don’t really make your intentions clear to begin with. At least that’s what I’m picking up. Again, if a girl literally doesn’t know you want to have sex with you she’s not just going to have sex with you. No girl will. Unless you’re at a club and y’all are drunk, then it’s a lot more simple. But I guess that’s not the case. For what to say, what to talk about.. well that’s all on you. Don’t try too hard, don’t make it seem like you’re trying too hard, don’t be weird, don’t be cringe, unless youre funny and can own your cringe, make her laugh and you usually have her heart, then from there make it clear you want to bang her. Something like, hey I’m really glad you’re having a great time smiling and enjoying this conversation but you can have an even better time if we took this convo to my place winky face or something gay like that. Then from there she says ok sure! (Or a lot of other things) Anddd, well. From that point on is where the battle really begins lol. But idk if you’ll read any of this so I won’t really go further.

I’ve never given romantic advice before btw but have slept with girls and understand people. So sorry if this is hard to read. Just trying to help someone who clearly needs help.

ozzyb2018 · 2020-07-19T13:59:16+00:00

Work on inner game. Read models. Definitely change what you're doing, for your sake and for the women's sake

Dominus-Prime- · 2020-07-19T14:45:48+00:00

You said you need to change something. Glad you have this awareness. Do you also have the awareness that it has nothing to do with what you are doing but more so who is doing it?

Like 98% of guys, you are your biggest problem; not your words or “technique” or amount of approaches.

The fact that you get energized from the interaction is something to examine. Dopamine rush from the reward part of your brain. Outcome dependence is another thing to examine. Another is your desire to make things about getting laid. These three things have psychological issues attached to them that you need to get to the bottom of.

Did you know that the guys who get the most pussy don’t make it about pussy? When you become more advanced their minds become much more challenging, fun and erotic.

The goal is to not give a shit. She’s says yes to a date? Big deal. She says no? Big deal. Why do you care what a woman says, thinks or does?

circumcizor · 2020-07-19T09:07:00+00:00

This is SO creepy

lotusone23 · 2020-07-19T06:58:57+00:00

Wow I’m surprised you even have the courage to do this .. Are you weird looking or something? Because he’ll I could probably dress like a hobo and still convert at least 10 percent to a date ... I approached 10 girls in a month once and still got 4 dates ... The others had bfs...so Idk what to tell you

Title	100 approaches and still nothing
Author	adrian-mx
Upvotes	668
Comments	353
Date	July 19, 2020 6:34 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/htw3c8/100_approaches_and_still_nothing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/100-approaches-and-still-nothing.1498938 https://theredarchive.com/post/1498938

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