Men and Women's opinions on porn/engagement

alwaysright12 · 2024-07-07T18:31:56+00:00

I dont think you can remove the ethics of it.

There's also issue with addiction and what it teaches young people about sex.

RoninOnBananaLeaves · 2024-07-07T18:45:55+00:00

It's a weird industry.

Like cigarettes. Makes a lot of money, destroys lots of lives, some people think it is cool, some think it's alright, and no one can actually say it has any proven benefit.

Salty-Concept-700 · 2024-07-07T18:28:26+00:00

I’m a woman and I think porn is fine in moderation. All my boyfriends have watched it. I never got mad or anything. Sometimes I liked watching it with them. Sometimes I felt insecure but I don’t find nagging is a good way to respond so I have kept quiet about it in the past even when I do feel bad.

Savings-Bee-4993 · 2024-07-08T01:11:08+00:00

People should be allowed to watch porn, and create it consensually.

That being said, the industry is harmful, many have porn addictions, watching it does not promote virtue but rather harms consumers and others, and I think it has a net negative on society.

I would also draw a distinction between porn, erotica, and art, all of which I have differing opinions about.

Sad_and_grossed_out · 2024-07-07T18:52:02+00:00

I honestly don't mind porn as a concept. Some people like to fuck on camera to share with the world, and a larger amount of people like to watch those films. A consensual and ethical agreement for the former to distribute content to the latter should logically be achievable in society to people who arent puritans.

My problem is the fact that men will pop off hundreds of orgasms to women in porn, then turn around and literally hate and degrade the women they have those orgasms to. Porn stars regularly get turned down for bank accounts, housing, figure job opportunities, often by men who have probably gotten pleasure from their content.

Like if men gonna insist that these industries exist for your pleasure and gladly support them with clicks and often actual money, I don't understand wanting to make the lives of women who provide that content harder because of the content they made that you pleasure yourself to. The aspect of mens sexuality that they orgasm to women they literally wish ill apon saddens me a lot. It doesn't have to be that way.

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2024-07-07T21:24:37+00:00

I think the way it's viewed is damaging. The fact that most biys are watching it for years before they ever have sex causes a distorted view of sex. The amount of men that think a woman should be screaming if she's enjoying herself is worrying. Also, the fact that "creampie kink" is a phrase that is used is shocking.

I don't think it's beneficial to the majority of people, amd think there should be strick barriers to children accessing it.

Freethinker312 · 2024-07-07T22:50:11+00:00

How do you guys feel about porn, and how it's viewed?

I would not want to be married/engaged with a man who jerks off to porn. In my background, porn also is not acceptable, as sex is considered something that should be reserved for marriage.

It does seem like many women (I'm sorry ya'll, not trying to jump you) have very negative reactions when male self pleasure and porn viewing is mentioned, but have little to no aversion to female self pleasure and porn viewing.

Probably not the same women. The women who watch porn probably don't consider it problematic when men watch porn. Those who do consider male porn consume problematic probably also don't watch porn themselves.

McTitty3000 · 2024-07-07T22:55:45+00:00

I would never be with a woman that had an issue with or got angry at me for watching , my wife loves it herself so sometimes we watch it together.

As far as how women and I'm primarily talking about feminists here view it I'm not going to get into the whole thing about trafficking and everything but I'm just talking about straight up everything on the camera is consensual type stuff, I think a lot of them don't like that men have this fantasy world that they can indulge you, I don't think that a lot of them don't like that adult content has kind of made women have to step their game up in terms of sexually pleasing a man, it's actually one of the things that I've seen super conservative women and rad films kind of agree on when they try to ban it lol.

It's also pretty hypocritical they'll say that it sets unrealistic standards and numbs the brain and everything but you don't see those types of people saying anything about these inspector gadget level sex toys with nine different settings. Lol

Wodanaz-Frisii · 2024-07-07T20:01:18+00:00

I think it is weird how men treat women working in porn like garbage while jacking off multiple times each day to said porn.

-Kalos · 2024-07-07T23:19:10+00:00

I don't care what others do but I quit porn when my relationships start to get serious because I enjoy sex more that way. Don't know how I'd react if a partner told me they watched porn because it never happened to me before, maybe they do watch but they never told me. In my opinion, porn takes away from real intimacy between two people

Teflon08191 · 2024-07-08T16:51:33+00:00

I think porn is a gift to a certain type of woman because she can preempt any type of introspection regarding her own lack of accountability by just blaming all of the unaddressed problems in her relationship on "porn addiction".

In fact, I'd say the phrase "porn addiction" is rapidly becoming a litmus test that a woman lacks accountability. Much like the word "patriarchy" became a litmus test that a woman has hairy armpits dyed blue (half joking here).

Love-Is-Selfish · 2024-07-07T18:59:56+00:00

It’s easy to abuse and use as an unhealthy replacement for seeking real intimacy. If it’s possible to use it healthily, you have to be much more careful than most people are. Sex should be for pleasure with someone you admire, so I don’t know if it can be healthily produced given that it’s very close to prostitution and given that sex is such a private act. Maybe if porn stars only produced with their actual lover and used AI to anonymize their appearances?

Normally I would call out guys too on something like this but this one seems a more skewed towards women

It might be that men watch porn more, so there are more men for women to complain about. But I don’t know that it is skewed one side or the other.

Upset_Material_3372 · 2024-07-07T21:56:42+00:00

It’s only going to get bigger and more widespread as the number of men who are unable to partner continues to grow.

The problem for women that aren’t ok with, for the most part, is that it conflicts with number 1 relationship objective which is partnering up with a comparatively more desirable guy than themselves but if they do get that guy he will need to sub out that physical attraction some how.

So in the end it is a symptom of men being disenfranchised in the realm dating and relationship.

toasterchild · 2024-07-07T22:13:30+00:00

I feel like out of site out of mind. I don't care what my partner consumes porn wise as long as it's not to the point that other people in his life are aware of it. If it's taking up so much of your life that your friends and family are aware of it then you likely have some sort of addiction problem. Like following insta models openly is just disrespectful as far as I'm concerned, not down with it at all.

danielbasin · 2024-07-07T22:29:44+00:00

It has realism mixed in with fantasy. Whats real about it is what I see in real life. For an example, most young and attractive women usually go for the muscular guy or a guy who has at least some form of masculine trait like if he isnt muscular, he has to be very tall and has a big dick. If the guy is scrawny and short, only fat women or older women are going to fuck him, which is also real life. If the guy is fat, he better have money or good social skills and usually the fat guy fucks better women than the scrawny guy because fat men are most masculine than scrawny men as women view it as he is better at protection than the skinny guy.

Its mirror of society

Struckbyfire · 2024-07-07T23:21:15+00:00

Man. I can’t even begin to comment on this in a way that actually means something. Like it or not, porn is a large part of our lives. It’s everywhere. Men are going to watch it so long as it’s available, and many women, like myself, partake as well.

However, I try to do so ethically because regular shit kinda just makes me sad. In a perfect world, we wouldn’t need porn. But that’s not the world we live in and I’m not okay with policing what other people look at.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2024-07-08T10:18:21+00:00

You have no imagination?

But I can understand if you are alone and it's easier than using imagination. If you do it because it's better than NOTHING. I don't like it, you should use imagination but I can find some compassion and understanding for it.

But I can't imagine if you have a partner and you prefer porn over a partner. And if I'm not physicaly there he can just text me and I can give him something to imagine throught texts. I would have absolutely no understanding and I would be offended and heartbroken that he has me and instead of pleasuring me he chooses porn.

RubyDiscus · 2024-07-07T18:31:02+00:00

I think like anything its fine if you're not addicted to it.

Personally I like gay porn and army porn, see my profile if you'd like to see some 😂

Fun_Breakfast697 · 2024-07-07T19:23:41+00:00

Porn addiction is questionably real at best. A lot of the "facts" people take as gospel truth are literally just Evangelical propaganda. Most people who use porn in an unhealthy way have major underlying mental health issues and should be seeing a therapist rather than trying to treat it as an addiction. NoFap is pure fucking evil that makes everything worse. Source: 1 2

Paying performers directly via fansites and clips stores is the most ethical way to consume porn.

Everyone I've dated has watched it regularly, I watch it occasionally, it's never been a problem.

Cunning_Linguists_ · 2024-07-07T20:05:17+00:00

Women's opinions is that men should not watch porn ever, but also incorporate vibrators and dildos into the bedroom while also be accepting of the 100s of men she fucked prior (but doesn't care about). Very balanced takes. Very equality.

LiftSushiDallas · 2024-07-07T20:03:12+00:00

I don't care about porn and don't watch it. I don't care if a man I'm seeing watches it. It's none of my business.

Visual-Community-743 · 2024-07-07T18:35:40+00:00

Its very damaging to male sexuality.

63daddy · 2024-07-07T18:46:11+00:00

I know there’s some pretty sick and extreme stuff out there (and I’m not defending it) but mainstream porn depicting intercourse, oral sex and manual stimulation are all depicting acts that are quite common in actual real life sexual relationships.

If we are going to look at a mainstream genre that’s completely unrealistic of the real world, it’s romance novels. Almost nobody experiences the stuff depicted in mainstream romance novels in real life.

So, I think it’s hypocritical to claim men are getting unrealistic expectations from mainstream porn when mainstream romance novels, (the number one selling genre) are much more unrealistic. (Again, I’m talking mainstream, not the extreme stuff).

Lovers691 · 2024-07-07T20:38:16+00:00

I think if you use porn and don't become a degenerate it is fine but I've come to understand the rad fem position although I still disagree with it. As to women watching porn, I'm neutral on it. If you do it in a relationship, I think it is cheating though

waffleznstuff30 · 2024-07-07T23:02:38+00:00

I think if a man can differentiate the fantasy from the reality.

I think porn sets up this fantasy of instant sexual gratification that sex just happens.

It sets up bizarre minimal understanding of sexual pleasure.

It makes men weird. You can tell when a dude watches too much porn.

Ok-Dust-4156 · 2024-07-07T19:11:49+00:00

I don't see a problem unless you prefer pron to real thing.

KayRay1994 · 2024-07-07T20:59:37+00:00

Generally as far what i expect out of a partner, moderation is something id be okay with. ideally id like their pork consumption to be very low to non existent, but at the same time its hardly a deal breaker if done in moderation.

Of course, the industry itself is awful and even in independent stuff there is a lot of shadiness (though it is more ethical than professional porn) so i think as long as there is nothing parasocial i’d probably respect the use of independent porn a bit more because you’re going out of your way to not support the big industry, but like i said, ideally no porn is best.

PMmeareasontolive · 2024-07-08T00:18:20+00:00

I think it can be habituating. Which is a problem if your partner isn't into it. In which case I think you can just stop with it. I don't view it as an addiction in the sense that you really just can't stop on your own, you need PornAnon or something. Perhaps in very rare cases.

I dated a person who was kind of into porn once, and I found it sorta hot. Most people I meet are way not into it.

MistyMaisel · 2024-07-08T03:14:29+00:00

I don't mind masturbation.

I'm not a fan of porn under any circumstances. I would never dictate that to my partner, but if you summon the topic with me, you will find little, but scorn and disgust there from me.

So long as our sex life is unaffected and he brings nothing of his watching habits as an expectation on me, we've done swimmingly.

In my past, the moment I sensed a man saw sex as what porn shows, it was inevitably the end of my having any interest in him. He's for the basement as far as I'm concerned.

IcyTrapezium · 2024-07-09T09:17:31+00:00

A study in the USA and Spain found: “Women were not more likely than men, across the board, to view porn as cheating.”

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-who-stray/201802/is-watching-pornography-form-cheating-it-depends

Insecurity was a predictor of considering porn cheating. I think the vocal women loom large in our minds because they are vocal and insecure. I don’t know any women who have a problem with porn and most women I know watch it.

SaBahRub · 2024-07-07T19:04:19+00:00

Nothing about porn is sexy to me, even porn made by and for women. Erotica is much better, as is non graphic sex in media.

The industry is undoubtedly predatory and rife with abuse and exploitation, just like any other

66363633 · 2024-07-07T20:33:13+00:00

will reply from men pov.

porn is good as an sexual entertainment and in moderation.

there's a lot of shaming and opposing it that doesn't have men's best interests in mind or at the forefront. which is why men should not listen to womens opinion on men consuming porn or have their approval. women don't ask whether its ok for them to masturbate on something and if men try to chime in with their opinion on what women should masturbate to he would be at best ignored at worst ridiculed and told to fuck off. women don't care about men, point blank, they don't have men's best interests in mind, men should not listen to their 'input' and 'reactions'. if men have problem with porn, they should and will just fine discuss it among themselves. male sexuality is still not really emancipated to this day, there's a lot of inter- and intrasexual shaming which needs to be fought against.

there's issues with porn production, including ethical ones which everyone should be aware of. but porn itself is fine. porn and sex is mostly entertainment. an adult's entertainment, adults game. a lot of people take it too seriously. its fine to watch and goon to whatever sick porn you want, as long as its participants are of legal age and consenting. same goes for real sex and kinks. sexual pleasure is good, and both men and women shouldn't be discouraged from getting it.

ohdiddly · 2024-07-08T03:53:57+00:00

I love porn and honestly prefer men who watch porn in moderation since those guys (in my experience) tend to be more sexually liberal, open to new experiences and more sex positive.

Almost all of the issues I have with the mainstream porn industry are alleviated by the existence of onlyfans and other forms of creator-lead content.

The anti-porn crowd constantly lie about the adverse effects of watching pornography; insinuating that any amount of porn consumption permanently alters your brain function and gives you erectile dysfunction. In reality, any adverse effects from porn are mostly experienced among conservatives & religious people who feel a deep sense of guilt and shame for watching porn. If porn conflicts with your personal morals, don’t watch it! But for fucks sake let us enjoy it!!!

DarayRaven · 2024-07-07T19:25:28+00:00

Porn is just porn

Nothing more or less

Ppdebatesomental · 2024-07-07T21:22:15+00:00

Porn doesn’t bother me, but I worry about the addictive potential of anything on a screen. It’s been proven that lots of things have been fine tuned to be as addictive as possible. If grandma can get addicted to social media, teenage boys can definitely get addicted to porn. Healthy limits is definitely important.

I also worry about porn being accessible to really young kids, and kids growing up to think porn sex is actually realistic. But it’s fine adult entertainment in moderation.

januaryphilosopher · 2024-07-07T19:50:25+00:00

I don't think anyone has any business watching porn. The healthy limit is zero porn. It is not fair or respectful to those in the industry or to yourself. I have absolutely no problem whatsoever with self pleasure.

lgtv354 · 2024-07-07T18:35:36+00:00

cucked behaviour. The person being cuckolded is u, the viewer.. Every time u watch ur favourite porn star, u are watching some other dude bang the female u want to bang.

Nigtforce · 2024-07-08T05:04:48+00:00

Women want to have it both ways, they don't want their boyfriends to watch porn yet they want sex work on OnlyFans to be treated as real work.

anotsmallthing · 2024-07-07T20:39:33+00:00

Women worrying about their men watching porn is a control thing and a reflection on their own insecurities. Usually if they did their job (which is a guy's responsibility to make her do btw, and in her own interests to see to) it wouldn't be an issue.

Still not good for the guy. Horrible death industry, bad for the brain, hard to control. Occasionally a guy is a genuine addict coomer and it affects their sex life, and assuming that's the case and she's giving good head and sex and not just pretending she is on a self-victimizing r / relationships post then he should delete the coomstash and fix that.

For better or worse, more men than not would probably prefer their girl watch some porn if it made them more sexual and experimental with them.

nikolala · 2024-07-07T21:20:42+00:00

I don't care honestly, but digital prostututes (OF, p*rn) get's on my nerve when they don't take accountability for what they are doing. No sex work will never be accepted into society like something normal, and people who are doing that will almost always considered like outcasts. That is the truth which every digital pstar should know and deal with it.

They are annoying as f**k, especially OF thots.

Title	Men and Women's opinions on porn/engagement
Author	Hi-Road
Upvotes	2
Comments	212
Date	July 7, 2024 6:06 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1dxmr4r/men_and_womens_opinions_on_pornengagement/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-and-womens-opinions-on-pornengagement.1523550 https://theredarchive.com/post/1523550

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