Being Indifferent to Women Will Get You Many More Options

platinirisms · 2024-12-11T14:46:49+00:00

The question boils down to what is the cause and effect. Sure, you noticed men who are indifferent have more success, but that doesn’t automatically mean indifference is the cause of success, it’s the effect of their success.

Indifference doesn’t turn into success, success turns into indifference.

If you’re successful in dating to the point you feel indifferent to it, then what made you attractive wasn’t the indifference, it was everything else, and all of that led to your indifference to dating and women.

If an unattractive man was acting indifferent to women, he’s not going to suddenly attract a bunch of women, he’s not going to attract any women, they do not care if you are indifferent to them.

Being indifferent does not get you more options. Being attractive gets you options, and getting enough attention makes you indifferent.

RushtyTinker · 2024-12-11T14:03:26+00:00

When I was a total dickhead that wanted nothing to do with anyone, just wanted to get high I always had a small rotation of girls trying to pin me down.

Women like the chase too, you just have to be attractive to them. When they get you it's a different story though, they get comfortable and bored then dip. I think they just like the excitement.

Granted this was in my late teens/early 20's, many would be going through a rebellious streak before they settle down with a more secure option

lord-moo · 2024-12-11T17:07:19+00:00

Nah,they are happy about your indifference. It means you are bothering them less If they already don't find you appealing.

onlypham · 2024-12-11T14:13:10+00:00

No, it's more like that by the time you have a lot of options, you are already indifferent to them.

Think about the absolute grindset that a man has to go through in order to get a date. You grind at work, you grind in the gym, you learn new skills.

Here's the catch: by the time you are done grinding, you have already learned to be happy on your own. Going to the gym feels better than going on a date because you are lifting with the biggest and baddest dudes and setting PRs. Going to work feels better than going on a date because you are no longer working an entry-level job and can actually start buying cool shit and planning for early retirement. Your hobbies feel better than going on a date because you are really skilled and can do some cool shit.

Yea maybe dating will feel cool for a couple of weeks but then you realize that it's extremely lame compared to all of the other stuff that you could be doing instead.

Indifference to dating is a natural reaction to that. You just date while it feels fun and immediately bail when it starts to take too much effort or the commitment talk comes up.

SomeSugondeseGuy · 2024-12-11T17:45:58+00:00

I disagree. I've decentered women from my life, and undone the societal programming to endlessly want sex.

Because of this, I no longer care about dating. I mean I care, but I could take it or leave it.

Because of that, combined with the fact that the burden to approach is on men, I've been single for a long time - which I'm ok with, but I can't pretend like this has done anything but shrink my pool of potential options.

DzejSiDi · 2024-12-11T14:18:34+00:00

Without proper context (and IMO you could've provided that context a bit better), this advice is as stupid as "just be yourself".

If you're average (or below) and in not female-rich spaces, such way of life will yield you 0 opportunities. What you've written is indeed a valid strategy, but only if she's on that hook or at least considered heavily biting it.

Siukslinis_acc · 2024-12-11T17:18:03+00:00

Who knew that not being desparate is actually attractive? /s

GKilat · 2024-12-11T17:45:06+00:00

If you mean by indifferent you mean having self control so you don't look like someone desperate that makes you look unattractive, then yes you would have more women attracted to you. You don't need to have a woman to have that mindset because you can have it from the get go.

Arguably, having relationship experience does help in getting your emotions under control and your approach to women is more moderate than inexperienced ones that just acts on impulse that makes them look desperate.

bluestjuice · 2024-12-11T15:55:23+00:00

I feel like if we imagine ‘degree of caring’ as a spectrum where one side is complete indifference and the other side is 0-chill desperation, the benefit of being a little bit on the indifferent side becomes really clear.

This is part of the sprezzatura charm of ‘cool’ — not being too attached to the outcome.

Also very Zen and Stoic, now that I think of it.

SlowmoTron · 2024-12-11T20:26:41+00:00

What did I just read? Who believes this bs?

cromulent_weasel · 2024-12-11T21:42:30+00:00

Being confident is attractive.

mrfoozywooj · 2024-12-12T03:23:59+00:00

Yes this is true but as always comes down to the assumption that you are baseline attractive.

Before me met my wife I took the approach of asking any woman I matched with who wasnt overweight or hideously ugly on a date just to see how it went and build "date experience", it worked in the end, its scary to think that has I not taken this approach I might not have met my wife.

LostWanderer88 · 2024-12-12T05:56:12+00:00

I'm indifferent and I get nothing

Proper_Frosting_6693 · 2024-12-11T14:28:54+00:00

Women like to chase CHAD! Average guys could live and die and wouldn’t notice unless he got rich or was super high status.

Suspicious_Glove7365 · 2024-12-11T15:26:19+00:00

I think you’re confusing indifference for not acting desperate or putting women on a pedestal. Don’t play games.

SayuriKitsune · 2024-12-11T17:11:47+00:00

My opinion as a woman is that we do not like desperation, so if you come across desperate or super horny, bye bye.

If you have a partner usually that desperation fades.

Now, to me if someone has a partner that someone becomes completely undesirable. I could have been attracted then as soon as they have a partner bye bye , Nothing will change my mind, they are not attractive for me anymore. In fact, quite the opposite.

Plus , I had guys playing the indifferent card or the hard to get and I just left, If I want to play games , Ill turn on my PC. But this is my opinion.

Difficult_Falcon1022 · 2024-12-11T17:50:11+00:00

Not necessarily wrong, but this is dangerous advice for a lot of men to follow. Contrived indifference stands out so much. For me it's a turn off; I like guys who are a bit cool for school but if they don't have an adoring side then it's not interesting to me.

Think better advice is; don't put all your stock in someone you just met, keep yourself busy with things that interest you, broaden your horizons as much as possible.

This will mean you will be too cool for school, rather than just pretending to be.

Reasonable-Guess-663 · 2024-12-11T21:51:22+00:00

It's in your head.

Most of these "Options"

1) Are just women looking at and analysis you and your girl"

2) Home wreckers trying to break you up

Most are option one, your just noticing women looking at you.

Your options are the same.

AestheticAxiom · 2024-12-11T22:00:29+00:00

I think it's more because a lot of single men without much experience reek of desperation.

So yes, I suppose being more indifferent is an improvement, but the context is very relevant here.

-Kalos · 2024-12-12T14:56:18+00:00

Being indifferent isn’t attracting someone who wasn’t attracted to you before. I think what’s going on here is you’re just no longer giving off desperate horny vibes which would turn a lot of women off otherwise

RIchardjCranium · 2024-12-13T01:55:18+00:00

That was part of the old Tom Leykis 101 shtick. Just hang out at a bar and ignore all the women and eventually they’ll wonder why you’re not paying attention to them. The fatal flaw in this is it only works if you’re someone she would be interested in in the first place. If you’re the wrong side of the 80/20 scale you’re invisible to her.

ProfessorOilNGas · 2024-12-11T16:25:41+00:00

Are we talking about a Joe average beta male? Or are we talking about a rock bottom omega male?

A beta guy is in a friendzone? Cut contact with her and move on. Good red pill advice. An omega guy is in the friendzone? For heaven's sake, stay in that friendzone for a while, friend. Orbit her and supplicate the shit out of her as long as it means that you have actual real-life contact with a woman until you meet other women. It is literally better than nothing on your way of self-improvement. Abundance mentality? There is no abundance for omega guys, so ffs forget about abundance mentality.

rustlerhuskyjeans · 2024-12-11T17:21:44+00:00

Having a life that's exciting and interesting is what will attract a woman to you more than anything, if you have an exciting life, it'll become her goal to be a part of that life, she'll think to herself "I need to know more about this man, how does he live such a fun lifestyle?

Live a life that other people want to be a part of.

missmireya · 2024-12-11T21:14:03+00:00

Wrong. There's a massive difference between being indifferent, and not being thirsty. If a guy acts indifferent, I will just see that as well...he's not interested. So I'll just move along.

I only get involved with men who have options, and choose by their own accord to pursue only me.

catdog8020 · 2024-12-11T23:30:12+00:00

All this is abnormal and an effect that is mainly due to hoeflation and hypergamy on steroids. Most women have many choices in dating and excessively high standards so men are left with no women. Being indifferent may help if you’re really lucky and really good looking. However, many women are ok with being alone and sexless and when they get Horney they call chad.

Bottom line, it’s not healthy for a man to be sexless. Essentially, we need to legalize prostitution in the USA because women are weird nowadays and some even like shrimp tacos.

Equal_Connect · 2024-12-11T14:11:26+00:00

I feel like if you just got a 6 pack like this ceo killer 90% of women will fuck you. Probably got a higher chance of getting married.

AutoModerator · 2024-12-11T14:00:41+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

AutoModerator · 2024-12-11T14:00:41+00:00

Hi OP,

You've chosen to identify your thread as a Debate. As such you are expected to actively engage in your own thread with a mind open to being changed. PPD has guidelines for what that involves.

OPs author must genuinely hold the position and you must be open to having your view challenged.

An unwillingness to debate in good faith may be inferred from one or several of the following:

Ignoring the main point of a comment, especially to point out some minor inconsistency;

Refusing to make concessions that an alternate view has merit;

Focusing only on the weaker arguments;

Only having discussions with users who agree with your position.

Failure to keep to this higher standard (we only apply to Debate OPs) may result in deletion of the whole thread.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-12-11T14:45:20+00:00

Me and my bros used to discuss this as a chicken egg situation. Are they now into you cause you arctic or is it that your hand is so on point at that point that you were able to pull not just your girl but others too, you just locked one down already?

We never really came to a conclusion

rustlerhuskyjeans · 2024-12-11T14:51:45+00:00

Agreed but it's scary for men to not care about dating so they'll aggressively reject this idea, many men interpret this as numbing yourself to women, intentionally ignoring them or god forbid identifying as a insert greek letter male.

No secret that working on yourself and not giving too much of a fuck will help.

2024-12-11T15:09:18+00:00

Yes this has worked for me. I’m also very fortunate in a lot of ways so…. YMMV.

Personally I hate the advice of “do nothing” a lot of dating advice for men is just “work on yourself and never approach women or you’ll look desperate/ creepy”

It’s like saying, work on your resume but never shop it around or apply. It makes no sense.

If you want something you should take steps to get it. Not sit around and wait for some perfect opportunity to fall in your lap.

2024-12-11T16:22:56+00:00

Not for me it won't. I was at zero interested from the start lol

anewlookav · 2024-12-11T16:40:15+00:00

This is absolutely a real thing. And if you are single, you have to figure out how to channel that same energy

Think_Reporter_8179 · 2024-12-11T18:01:58+00:00

I have three women. They're all best friends. I've been at bars with them and had other women jokingly ask to join us. There's definitely something to it.

kwikkwikstudy · 2024-12-11T19:30:52+00:00

Acting on your desires in a calm and non-desperate way will get you more options.

neinhaltchad · 2024-12-11T22:02:38+00:00

I’m old now but I remember when I was about 24 just staring in the corporate world, there was this girl I had a major crush on and we used to flirt pretty regularly.

One time we passed each other in the stairwell.

I was coming back from lunch and she was going.

We were teasing each other about something and I remember I had turned to talk to her for a bit.

I was positioned kind of weird with my body half turned to face her as she was half a flight lower on the stairwell at a landing.

I remember as we were talking, just the excitement of seeing her and talking to her, basically I got a hard on in under 10 seconds.

10 fucking seconds.

Also, I was wearing these stupid thin silk pants for some reason (it was the 90’s)

At a certain point I realized how fucked I was.

The hard on was camp laughed because of the semi crouched position I was in by facing back to talk to her.

There was no way I could stand upright again without an absolutely obvious raging hard on pushing out into silk pants.

My solution?

Freeze in place and just hope she went on her way.

We eventually said our goodbyes and I just stood like a statue until she finally walked away confused. I played it off as a weird “joke”

I hated being a man in his 20’s that day.

ta06012022 · 2024-12-12T03:45:13+00:00

Most guys that have dated around has noticed the phenomenon of once he has one woman wants you. Getting other women becomes much easier

As a guy who’s dated quite a bit, I haven’t noticed this at all. I live in NYC and mostly meet women from dating apps. It’s a huge city and everyone is basically anonymous. The women I meet have no idea whether another woman wants me. My situation is completely unknown to her when we match.

Honestly I don’t see any difference compared with college, when I mostly dated in my social circle, in terms of level of interest from women.

Artistic_Speech_1965 · 2024-12-12T18:55:51+00:00

Well it works for both gender this is also an advice that is given to women and works pretty well. When you don't look need the other person has the impression of making the relation progress by their own accord/effort

It's a mindset of not giving first but rewarding wanted behaviour

Schleudergang1400 · 2024-12-13T10:22:50+00:00

The concept you look for is neediness/non-neediness. And to a degree also mate choice copying, depening on if other women see that you have been chosen.

Swift_Jr · 2025-01-11T02:15:23+00:00

caring = end up alone

not caring = end up alone

lets all stop pretending that this isn't true lol

Lanaglu · 2024-12-11T20:29:16+00:00

half agree. if a guy comes across as really desperate or pushy or needy it can be off putting. if a guy seems indifferent though i am going to pass I'm only going to be into someone who's into me. there's a nice middle ground where things feel natural and they just flow well, which I think you just get better at with experience.

ArtifactFan65 · 2024-12-11T22:55:25+00:00

I agree in the sense that, men seem to have an easier time getting women when they do not have this obsessive need to have a woman in their lives.

Usually, guys who are content with themselves do not have women as the center of their universe or are not trying too hard to score typcially do better than those who do all these things.

I believe this is where the "women want bad boys" trope comes from. The dudes has other things going for him in life that takes attention away from girls. So the girls want him to want them.

And this is also why Chads seem to continuously pull women, he wants them for sex but doesn't have a scarcity mindset when it corms to attracting them.

He knows if something doesn't work out with one, he can move on to the next and even has no problem ghosting them.

Title	Being Indifferent to Women Will Get You Many More Options
Author	rustlerhuskyjeans
Upvotes	38
Comments	201
Date	December 11, 2024 2:00 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1hbu36l/being_indifferent_to_women_will_get_you_many_more/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/being-indifferent-to-women-will-get-you-many-more.1538213 https://theredarchive.com/post/1538213

Comments