Would you guys do "duty sex" if women needed it but you didn't ?

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2025-07-11T20:16:11+00:00

I have done when I wasn't completely in the mood. Our problem is that my wife's sex drive is so variable, whilst mine is pretty consistent. I try to make her happy in any way I can though.

EDIT: I guess "duty sex" was the wrong word. Damn. I meant with strangers not your partner obviously.

Well then no, of course not.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2025-07-11T20:11:44+00:00

I always felt like “if it wasn’t right for both of us it wouldn’t be good for either of us”

And ive pretty much stuck to that.

TopShelfSnipes · 2025-07-11T20:10:21+00:00

Define duty sex.

Sex with someone I don't want to have sex with? Hell no.

Sex with my wife when I'm not in the mood? It's my wife, I'm always in the mood, unless I'm spent because we just did it and I'm recovering, and in that case she is too.

Sex with my wife when I have an obligation somewhere else? "Hold that thought babe, I'll see you when I get back."

Clean-Luck6428 · 2025-07-11T20:07:27+00:00

I did it for 3 years then it got old

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wtknight · 2025-07-11T20:18:19+00:00

For my wife, as long as I didn’t have an actual headache (which I do sometimes get), sure. Even if I had a headache, I’d probably do something with my hands and fingers for her unless it was some kind of head splitting migraine.

If I were not married and it was any woman who I wasn’t dating, then no, because I don’t do casual or FWB sex.

Erdenaxela1997 · 2025-07-13T00:08:34+00:00

Sometimes I do it when my wife wants it, even if she doesn't want to, because it's my moral obligation.

Although after a little provocation from her, I usually start to want it.

YtBlue · 2025-07-11T21:01:58+00:00

Yes just like I have a duty to protect and provide, not with random though. I dont know what this prompt is trying to prove though

5tupidest · 2025-07-11T20:21:33+00:00

Yes, but it sometimes leads to different social dynamics from normal, mutually enthusiastic sex. When you’re doing something you aren’t excited about for some other reason, the vibes aren’t always perfect. Huge emotional variability in this realm. How a partner reacts when there is a request to do something is very complex.

torytho · 2025-07-11T20:33:36+00:00

I wouldn't call it "duty sex". But I find I have a lower libido than my partner and I'm happy to be giving in bed.

NockerJoe · 2025-07-11T20:34:44+00:00

I mean, I have? If I'm not in the mood starting out but my partner is I'll at least try to meet them halfway about it or give a good effort. Even if no penetration happens making the effort is 100x more effective at maintaining the relationship than just refusing to do anything.

What do you want me to say? Was I supposed to have been mad that someone I'm attracted to and willingly in a relationship wanted to have sex with me and I wasn't immediately enthusiastic from the word go about doing something I generally enjoy doing anyway?

Ultramega39 · 2025-07-11T20:53:02+00:00

No.

I am somewhat asexual so this post is just my reality.

KayRay1994 · 2025-07-11T21:28:53+00:00

I don’t believe in ‘duty sex’ as a concept to begin with, so I never would. At the same time if my partner ever felt the need to do it as a duty rather than refuse, I’ll feel like i will have failed them as a partner

MC-Purp · 2025-07-11T22:44:20+00:00

Been there, I don’t recommend it.

With strangers? That’s appalling

Fun_Push7168 · 2025-07-11T23:03:02+00:00

Sure

Since you specified strangers;

Hell sometimes I like to fuck less attractive women just because I like how out of their minds they go for me.

It's fun to feel super desired even if I'm not into it for myself.

Popeoath · 2025-07-12T05:07:14+00:00

No since I'm bitter about women leaving men hanging.

onlyaseeker · 2025-07-12T07:32:51+00:00

I'm not into casual sex. There are whole dimensions to sex you won't experience with someone you don't know and aren't comfortable with.

I think there should be easier ways to find people who want casual, short term relationships that may involve sex, in a way that is more open and honest, with less game playing than there is now. Separate from people who just want casual one night stands or very transactional sex.

The same goes for people who want to go on walks and hold hands, cuddle buddies, people who want someone to kiss, people who just want to do oral sex but nothing else, etc.

There are plenty of people who could enhance each others lives if it wasn't such a nightmarish minefield to find them.

Patient_Recording_96 · 2025-07-12T13:35:29+00:00

No sex before marriage.

James_M_Croft · 2025-07-14T17:22:07+00:00

What do you mean? You think we don't do it?

Lol we have busy, tiring and stressful lives, and many times do not need as much sex as women are willing to have (in their ovulation period, particularly). Yet we do it just fine.

Have none of you had any relationships? We already do it.

berichorbeburied · 2025-07-11T20:11:11+00:00

I’ve done it plenty of times. It’s not that complicated. I don’t feel bad about it. But my feelings are not important. Idk what the problem is.

Emotional_Meal748 · 2025-07-11T20:32:41+00:00

Let’s say at least that %100 of the time, there would be thousands of “donors” available

AreOut · 2025-07-11T20:49:44+00:00

Yes, because I love her and my D won't fall off if I have sex when I am not in the mood.

Trialbyfuego · 2025-07-11T20:50:24+00:00

So I've been in a relationship where long story short it got to the point where I didn't want to have sex anymore but my girlfriend did. I would still do it sometimes but other times I wouldn't and sometimes that led to arguments. It was a big reason why we broke up. There was no more romance or intimacy and sex felt like a chore so there was no point.

I don't think anyone should be able to guilt anyone into sexual experiences no matter what. I would never try to pressure my women into having sex. A couple times I've been shut down by the women I was seeing and I just tried to move past it without reading too much into it.

If my woman wants sex and I don't, then I get to make a choice: get it over with or deal with the fallout of rejecting her advances. She might get sad and insecure or she might get frustrated and angry or might feel betrayed or unwanted. Don't wanna deal with that unless it's worth it (i.e. I gotta realllllllllly wanna not have sex and not feel good about our relationship to turn down sex).

2025-07-11T20:56:54+00:00

yeah i would donate sex

Ego73 · 2025-07-11T22:02:44+00:00

Probably, I'd honestly just be happy to see them enjoying themselves

cuckspace · 2025-07-11T22:46:43+00:00

Yes, both when with a partner and when going home with someone new. When with a new woman it is expected that the man will escalate towards sex, if the circumstances are right and there is an unspoken expectation from both sides. I may want to wait longer, but if it’s not happening she will probably never see me again, so there’s a duty to have sex. When having sex there’s also a duty to perform certain assertiveness, whether I feel like it or not. There’s a lot of unspoken duties that men have to perform.

nr_guidelines · 2025-07-12T02:47:34+00:00

So basically if I wasn't in the mood

It would be tempting if she was both attractive and my type, but then there'd be the problem of women being even more hoeish than already, so if she was just a massive cum dumpster then probably not

DelDivision · 2025-07-12T02:55:39+00:00

If a man has to have duty sex with his wife, then hes not as attracted to her, similar to women trying to avoid having sex with their partners. And what happens when someone settles for a person theyre not attracted to.

Cause me, cause even if I wasn't excited sliding it in would make me.

Used-Possession8296 · 2025-07-12T04:26:43+00:00

My wife and most of my ex girlfriends used to want sex more than I did, at least in the beginning of every relationship. The only reasons that Ive ever given for rejection was that I'm physically unable to perform and if it just seemed like it was a chore for her. Even if I was too tired to get hard, I was always willing to go down on them 100% of the time, if that's what they wanted. If my wife ever gets her libido back, that offer still stands. Honestly, I feel the duty sex is more for her, than it is for me. I don't enjoy it. In fact, it makes me feel bad about myself. I feel like the only guy who can't seduce and turn on his wife. I've tried to turn duty sex down based on the fact that she obviously didn't want to do it and she pleaded with me that she wanted to and, ironically, got mad that I said no. The truth is that all of the things that us men do that pisses many women off are the things that we desperately wish our wives and girlfriends would say and do to us.

Sholnufff · 2025-07-12T04:38:27+00:00

As long as I got consent, Im handling man business..

What the hell kind of debate is this.

LoudPiece6914 · 2025-07-12T14:10:42+00:00

If she’s my wife, of course. Girlfriend, probably. Female friend, if she has done nice things for me and this is the best way to say thank you, ok.

hylander4 · 2025-07-12T22:05:31+00:00

If Jon Snow had just had duty sex with Danaerys, King’s Landing would still be standing. Remember that.

Guilty-Marzipan1058 · 2025-07-14T22:01:35+00:00

I do this with conversation a lot. I don’t want to talk after a 10 hour day but it’s my “duty” to talk to my gf and I’m an asshole if I don’t. Men connect physically, women connect verbally

Intelligent-Insight · 2025-07-16T18:47:41+00:00

Of course. Commitment is always active, not just when it's convenient and when I feel like it.

catdog8020 · 2025-07-11T20:22:27+00:00

Of course a man would be a fool to refuse sex from his mate. This is extremely rare and uncommon

throwaway73737828 · 2025-07-11T21:07:10+00:00

Depends if she did her part for the relationship. Women do “duty” sex for 2 reasons. If he is ugly but he has money or she gives a reward for the man who does his job for the relationship. Women dont duty sex with a bum, lazy guy. So I would apply the same logic. İf she does her part of the relationship I would gladly do it or if she is very hot, I would do it as well.

RealityCold4693 · 2025-07-11T22:45:34+00:00

Usually when she drunk

OtPayOkerSmay · 2025-07-12T05:53:59+00:00

This is a very weird dichotomy, and I don't think you can even suggest there is anything but a double standard here.

For one, if a guy isn't in the mood; he won't be sufficiently hard for her to even be able to get off. Toys? Sure, but even then; the guy has to put on a good performance over a long period. It's probably better for the woman to just get herself off.

Now, guys on the other hand... 10 mins tops and he's your slave for the next week.

TLDR stop bitching about duty sex.

Title	Would you guys do "duty sex" if women needed it but you didn't ?
Author	Emergency-Sell-6713
Upvotes	19
Comments	214
Date	July 11, 2025 4:48 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1lxbwxn/would_you_guys_do_duty_sex_if_women_needed_it_but/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/would-you-guys-do-duty-sex-if-women-needed-it-but.1556919 https://theredarchive.com/post/1556919

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