Q4 people who believe that promiscuity damages a womans capacity to "pair-bond" --why doesn't having generally good life, good family etc. also damage a womans capacity to pair bond?

abaxeron · 2025-09-13T17:58:16+00:00

Sex does not damage a woman's capacity to pair-bond.

Sex does not damage a woman's capacity to pair-bond.

A woman who married her high school sweetheart and then became a widow, has pair-bonding capacity in basically mint condition, even if both she and her late husband were ultra-high libido and enjoyed every second of it.

What damages a woman's capacity to pair-bond are flings and breakups.

ReasonConfident4541 · 2025-09-13T05:39:14+00:00

Agree op

It's like how does drugs that release dopamine any more worse than exercise that releases dopamine

Absolutely ground breaking stuff.

DiligentRope · 2025-09-12T23:22:15+00:00

Because its not just about oxytocin release, we're more than just chemicals and hormones. Theres mechanisms at play that we'll probably never understand.

But the fact is that we've seen throughout history that promiscuous women have issues maintaining long term relationships, especially when there aren't societal mechanisms that encourage it and discourage anything outside it.

Edit: This is especially for other red pilled men here, a common saying in TRP is to "take it seriously, but don't take it literally". i.e. don't be autistic about these concepts. I see too much of this on this sub, where they'll focus on an exception in order to say they've brought down all of TRP, or they'll use an isolated "study" from somewhere that says the opposite. TRP is a praxeology, not an exact science, its prominent and so popular with many men today because it works, simple as.

InterestingGoose5507 · 2025-09-12T23:49:16+00:00

Promiscuity damages both men and women but women more for the following simple reason:

Men sleep down while women sleep up!

As women are hypergamous (by nature, essential for human species survival), sleeping with guys way out of their league and then having to settle for her looksmatch (average) beta provider will never satisfy her! If she had met her looksmatch first, then she will be far more likely to form a lasting pair bond.

Men sleeping around are usually sleeping down (8s & 9s banging 5s & 4s) a lot! Therefore when they date/marry an 8, 9 the temptation of those previous women isn’t there as they married the best they could get (no one with a Ferrari longs for the Toyota Corolla they had in the past).

If men were causally hooking up with Dua Lipa/Margot Robbie at the weekend or on a slow Tuesday then men would find it very hard to pair bond with an average looking woman. But in the real world, this almost never happens!

History has shown us that promiscuous women cheat far more, are more likely to divorce and be unhappy in a marriage! This is why BODY COUNT MATTERS so much to guys! It’s not some feminist nonsense like insecurity (as hardly any guys are insecure about having a casual relationship). It’s the fact that guys don’t want to get taken to the cleaners in a misandrist family law system by a woman who cheated or committed paternity fraud!

Popeoath · 2025-09-13T02:24:59+00:00

The sharpest hormonal releases are triggered by life and death scenarios, fights, and sex. Having a generally calm, stable life means similar for your hormonal states.

That said you're touching around a decent point, that a person having a fulfilling long-term relationship might also impede their ability to find similar enjoyment elsewhere by comparison. That is true, and the n-count/divorce study actually did find that people with exactly 2 partners were around as high of a divorce risk as people with half a dozen partners and onward; having one "love of your life" partner is a bigger danger to your future partners than just having four mediocre relationships.

But it's all about probability management. Someone who's had 10 prior partners is simply more STATISTICALLY likely to move on from you than someone with less, since history often predicts the future.

Werevulvi · 2025-09-13T09:28:57+00:00

Because when you have sex with lots of strangers or people you don't know very well, you put yourself at risk, and you're not respecting your body. You're divorcing sex from intimacy. You're using your own body for a quick, temporary thrill, and this is usually a maladaptive coping mechanism for trying to fill a void. This is what can make it difficult to form a genuinely intimate sexual connection with a trustworthy person, when there's no thrill to be had, just closeness and trust. Same thing often happens with people who get really into bdsm and kinks, they lose the ability to enjoy vanilla sex with a loving, caring partner. This is not comparable to having healthy, loving relationships outside of romance, like with friends and family. Because people don't get addicted to having a loving family and supportive friends.

When you use sex for just the fun of it, that's when it can become addictive, and being addicted even to something good can make it unhealthy. Because it skews your perception of it, and you become insatiable. It's quite similar to how food addiction works. Because obviously food is a good thing we all need and should enjoy, but if you eat 10.000 calories a day worth of fast food because you can't get enough, and you use it as a comfort, that's bad for your health. You can't even have a normal meal anymore, food has become a drug. That destroys your relationship with food. What was once a healthy joy of life became a drug that you're overdoing to the point of over-needing.

Fyi I used to be promiscuous, and it got to the point that I was struggling to even enjoy healthy sex and doing proper pair-bonding. Because all I could think of was chasing and getting orgasms. Even though I was only having hookups maybe once or twice a year on average, using sex that way still twisted my mindset and my relationship to sex. It took a lot of work and years of celibacy to change that into a healthy view.

And yes I believe this happens (more or less) to everyone who lives a promiscuous lifestyle. Because to even do that you have to disconnect sex from intimacy at least to some extent, and that's what causes these issues.

Even if it doesn't get quite extreme enough to be clinically classified as an addiction. I didn't for me. My issues with sex was dismissed by therapists and sexologists, because with their "sex positive" view, I was just being a prude shaming my own sexual needs. They completely dismissed my struggles. This to me speaks of a larger societal issue, of framing promiscuity as "sexual liberal" when in reality it's downright brain rot. And believe me I wanted to believe I was sexually liberated. Until it caught up with me and ruined my relationships with men.

midnight_blue77 · 2025-09-14T06:12:50+00:00

Because we can see that women who are promiscuous make shitty long term partners. This isn't Rocket Surgery.

Why are promiscuous women not wifey material? You should probably ask the experts. Whether promiscuous women have a pre-disposition for being promiscuous which leads to them being disloyal or it's their promiscuity which causes their inability to pair-bond we don't know. All we know is that there is a correlation with or without causation. The point is that women who are promiscuous are just not pair-bonding material. They are great and fun for sex, but not so great or fun in relationships.

My wonder is why is this even an issue when promiscuous women themselves usually don't want a stable or long term commitment themselves, hence, why they are promiscuous.

Most men who are looking for a serious relationship do not want to have anything to do with a woman that's been railed by half the town.

AutoModerator · 2025-09-12T23:13:02+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

throwaway73737828 · 2025-09-13T03:50:23+00:00

Because the more partners you have, you are desensitizing yourself to new partners. You gonna start to objectify partners. Also women cant stop having different partners after a certain number. They want the new sex experience everytime. The most a women can go without changing partners is 3 months (if she has a lot of bodies).

Not only this one, when women experience the alpha male compared to a lesser man, she doesnt want to go back anymore, if this happens and she marries a beta guy, its all over for his marriage. She will think about the alpha guy who didnt settle with her and it will cause misery to the marriage with the beta guy. So if this phenomenon happens to a woman, she will never ever ever can bond with a beta male for LTR.

Last thing is, marriage or LTR contains a little bit of selflessness. Promiscuous people dont give a ahit about selflessness they only want to please themselves. Thats why the case that when a virgin or low body count woman marries a chad, he will fuck other women while the wife is staying at home looking after kids. Same thing is true vice versa.

James_M_Croft · 2025-09-13T01:45:10+00:00

You confuse people speculating why it happens with being any doubt that it happens. There is no doubt that multiple partners hinders pair-bonding in all cases and there is not a single case where it says otherwise. People are just discussing why it could be that way and oxytocin is one of the theories. But I would say it is weak theort considering men have no meaningful oxytocin differenxe and yet feel the same loss of pair bonding capability. They just don't care.

Comments