Why are men nowadays avoiding marriage like a virus?

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2025-12-16T17:08:07+00:00

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TeapotSoprano · 2025-12-16T14:34:59+00:00

You should probably ask the men.

No_Personality5381 · 2025-12-16T15:25:04+00:00

Shouldn't you ask men this question? Btw, I'm pretty sure you aren't a woman.

yamb97 · 2025-12-16T15:25:34+00:00

I don’t know any men that don’t want to be married. This feels like weird rage bait somehow and doesn’t read like something an actual woman would say.

mashedturnip · 2025-12-16T15:01:03+00:00

They’re not, and your comment history indicates that you are neither blue pill nor a woman

anna_alabama · 2025-12-16T15:29:56+00:00

I’m a late Gen Z married person, and I’ve gone to 5+ weddings a year every year since I graduated from college. At least in my mid to late 20’s age group, it doesn’t seem like men are avoiding marriage at all. Maybe the millennials are different?

cb8585b · 2025-12-16T15:53:02+00:00

It's honestly quite frustrating that the advice I'm getting from women is just "go focus on your hobbies and get a roommate or a pet" like girl be fr, many of us women are aching for a male romantic partner and here you are talking about getting a mutt???

BougieHeaux · 2025-12-16T15:53:56+00:00

idk, but i refuse cohabitation and they insist on that.

how do you refuse marriage but insist on cohabitation?

p_fulga · 2025-12-16T16:31:01+00:00

I'm gonna agree with some of the other folks here and say that I've got no clue what you're talking about. I've dated 11-12 people, and of that half of them were men. All of them were interested in eventually getting married some day down the road as a future goal. Most of my dude friends are also the same way, either currently married, on their way towards it, or actively have a goal to one day do it.

Keep in mind a good chunk of these guys have used dating apps before, or found their partner through them. Others all found them through friends or in college.

RelativeYak7 · 2025-12-16T15:01:37+00:00

I prefer a man who avoids marriage because I see it as a sign of intelligence. Especially in our 40s, we aren't having kids, we aren't living together so who cares about marriage? Not me. If the man can't be faithful unless I'm keeping tabs on him then I don't want him. Also, what's your problem with dogs and mutts? I def screen out any man who doesn't like animals.

ThatBitchA · 2025-12-16T14:58:29+00:00

I don't think men avoid marriage.

Plenty of millennial men are married and desire to be married.

It seems like most men still desire marriage.

And a minority of men aren't interested in marriage.

Siukslinis_acc · 2025-12-16T15:47:46+00:00

Look at tue messages men recieve. "Don't marry, the woman will divorce you and take half of your stuff".

Nowadays marriage has lost it's status and people can just cohabit.

jorts-enthusiast · 2025-12-16T16:42:56+00:00

Why are you asking women? Why not ask men?

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2025-12-16T14:57:21+00:00

I don’t think they are. Most men I know are married and did it willingly, enthusiastically.

I have met very few men who don’t want marriage

persephonethequeen · 2025-12-16T15:26:29+00:00

Not men in general, but I’m also not surprised when it comes to men in their 40s. Most people who wanted marriage, men very much included, have already married by that age. On top of that, there’s a new cohort of divorcees who are understandably less eager to remarry.

So if you look at men in their 40s as a whole, they don’t appear dramatically different from other age groups in their attitudes toward marriage. Keeping all that in mind, I'm not surprised about the the drop-off among single men in that age range who are actively pursuing it, precisely because previously single men who wanted marriage have already married by then.

BrightPapaya1349 · 2025-12-16T15:57:00+00:00

Well maybe it has to do with your age? Most men in their 40s are already married or divorced and don't want a second marriage which is quite understandable.

My boyfriend who is 27 brought up marriage first with me. 🤷‍♀️

backstabber81 · 2025-12-16T16:19:14+00:00

26F here, most people in my circle (28-34yo bracket) are either partnered, engaged or married, a few even have kids. I only know one man who is single and he's not even trying to date.

Having said that, a lot of younger people grew up with messy divorces in their families and they don't want to risk the same happening to them. What they don't understand is, dating without getting married but otherwise getting a house together and having kids is even more messy if a breakup were to happen. Marriage has built-in legal protections (ESPECIALLY if you get a prenup) and you'd need to spend thousands of $ in lawyers to replicate without it.

It's great some women are happy single and just adopt a dog, but it's also perfectly valid for women to want marriage and a family and it's often other women who give you shit for wanting to 'conform to social expectations' even if you genuinely want that life.

januaryphilosopher · 2025-12-16T16:20:46+00:00

In general there's a trend that people are avoiding commitment more, preferring short-term satisfaction over pursuing long-term goals, and taking fewer risks. Men see marriage as a bigger risk than before media scaremongering over the effects of divorce has increased and after the peak in divorce many have friends or family who went through divorce, which has a bigger emotional impact than the fact divorce rates are going down. They also see marriage as a bigger opportunity cost as media and technology such as TV, social media, dating apps, and porn create the idea that it's normal and desirable to have many casual relationships and marriage would be missing out (again whether it's true or achievable to them doesn't matter like the emotional impact does). Additionally, for those in long-term cohabiting relationships the importance of marriage has decreased as socially marriage is being seen less and less as a requirement for any relationship aspects and legally in most first-world countries marriages and domestic partnerships are almost identical.

NiaMiaBia · 2025-12-16T16:50:29+00:00

LOL, “aching for a male romantic partner” 😂

NoShortMen4Me · 2025-12-16T16:52:40+00:00

like girl be fr, many of us women are aching for a male romantic partner and here you are talking about getting a mutt???

😭😭😭 I’m sorry, but this was a dead giveaway

MoodyMagicOwl · 2025-12-16T17:01:10+00:00

43F here. Since you're also in your 40s OP: Are you talking about divorced men our age? Or the never married ones?

Because the latter is highly unusual where I live (bible belt). The very few ones are either fuckboys, have peter pan syndrome, or are downright repulsive.

The divorced men are bitter and do not want to get remarried.

I suggest you get off the dating apps (if you're on them) btw. Many of the men over 40 who use them are already married. So that may be another reason.

NiaMiaBia · 2025-12-16T14:50:55+00:00

A lot of them probably have previous failures under their belts and don’t want to put themselves in a situation they know they’ll fail at.

They also complain about “aLImoNy” (even though 99% of them are not high earners, lol - this gripe will never not crack me up. Most men are in no danger of having to pay alimony).

They’ll come up with allllllll sorts of reasons.

BTW… this is not my personal experience. I have been married twice, going through a divorce right now.

ladybird_00 · 2025-12-16T14:43:57+00:00

This would probably be a better question for men but you’ll probably get a lot of answers like there’s nothing to be gained for them in marriage.

I think a lot of it has to do with the men we’d mostly find attractive enough to marry are holding out for perfection since social media gives the illusion of endless options.

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Title	Why are men nowadays avoiding marriage like a virus?
Author	Patient_Hedgehog_380
Upvotes	8
Comments	107
Date	December 16, 2025 2:32 PM UTC (8 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1po3etx/why_are_men_nowadays_avoiding_marriage_like_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-are-men-nowadays-avoiding-marriage-like-a.1568987 https://theredarchive.com/post/1568987

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