Wife denies husband sex 25 out of 28 times he asked, shows her on spreadsheet.

InsaneRay · 2014-07-18T13:47:26+00:00

Am I the only one thinking this spreadsheet could've stemmed from the all too common conversation where the husband complains about not enough sex and the wife states that it's his fault for not initiating enough?

CUNTRY · 2014-07-18T14:51:17+00:00

"Why is he doing this to me?" She says it without a hint of irony.

She doesn't seem to care about what her husband has been going through. She seems more upset that someone called her out on her neglect. So not only does she not fuck her husband... she is allowed to get hurt and angry when he shows her that he is upset. Unfair.

ajswdf · 2014-07-18T15:02:13+00:00

The spreadsheet is in the comments. You know that this has been going on a lot longer than 2 months though. Most people don't randomly start making spreadsheets of their sex life.

Hokuto199x · 2014-07-18T15:15:29+00:00

I love how he just dropped that bomb on her and then just went to complete radio silence. Lol.

BluepillProfessor · 2014-07-18T16:03:05+00:00

I did nearly the same thing but with a blast of verbal diarrhea rather than a spreadsheet. I had kept a sex denial journal that grew to over 100 pages long over several years. When I unplugged and had been lifting for several months, had read about 10 books, consumed Dalrock and Roissy, and Roosh and Rollo, and all the sidebar and went through MMSL, I then proceeded to ignore the consistent advice to be covert etc. and instead gave my wife a detailed letter containing my demands. It didn't work. Just as Athol Kay predicts in one of his books, you get 24-48 hours of compliance and then it is back the "normal." Negotiated compliance never works.

What works is the dread. That is all you can do to revive an old, cold relationship. All we have to contribute these days is our commitment. Until you show yourself ready, willing and able to withdraw that commitment nothing will ever change.

You cannot negotiate desire.

However, if you put yourself into a high SMV state and take control of the relationship by making her understand you are leaving unless things change, you are then in a position to command desire. The very act of taking control, and telling her when and where you will have sex from now on triggers intense desire. The wife who knows she must submit to sex becomes much more sexually aroused. Feminists destroyed this critical part of marriage and men need to retake this at least.

iluminatiNYC · 2014-07-18T13:11:59+00:00

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Rollo-Tomassi · 2014-07-18T16:52:49+00:00

My advice to this guy, assuming this is legit: Eject.

He probably already has, but he's got a fat wife wife that fucks him 3 times in 7 weeks? Any therapist would tell you that is clinically a sexless marriage.

Nothing he does from this point forward, even dread, will engender genuine desire on her part. Even if she ups her frequency of fucking him after these 10 days as a result, she's only doing it because he's won her negotiations – not because she wants to.

Yes, it's a stupid appeal to her reason, but it's also a graphic representation to himself of his wife's lack of real desire and her self-important prioritization of sex in her Frame. It's good he's experienced this now after just 2 years of marriage and there's not much equity for him to lose.

Lawyer up.

jakethesnake76 · 2014-07-18T14:43:31+00:00

Alright, here's another perspective.

He just sent her a volume 99 message that a sexless marriage isn't going to fly and is now dread gaming her with silence.

Have fun on your trip honey and think about how important this marriage is to you - you fucking ice queen.

Oh and BTW... Laundry and blow jobs are not interchangeable. I can do my own laundry.

He has to follow through with the dread though. He shouldn't let her go the whole 10 days in silence, but should just say "We'll talk when you get back". Then when she gets back he needs to have the very serious "This is not what I signed up for" talk.

If he just bitches out and just whines when she gets home this is definitely going to backfire on him big time.

What he did was harsh, but he's fed up. At least give the guy credit for doing something other than just take the repeated rejections.

I've know a couple of married buddies of mine that have had this conversation with their wives. One dude told his wife he didn't care if divorce put him living in a cardboard box, at least he'd have a chance to get laid. He was serious too. Divorce was definitely talked about. His wife went and talked to my wife about how much of an asshole he was and my wife told her Jesus Christ just fuck your husband. Lie on your back and do what you need to do. She went lingerie shopping and he started getting special treats. Woman was shocked at how well it worked and how happy the family is now. Marriage saved. Sometimes you have to be an asshole to save them from their own dipshittery.

This kind thing has to be done early in a marriage when wifey starts to think its safe to shut down regular sexy time. That precedent needs to be firmly in place early on. You wait 15 years and then it takes on another whole dynamic. Dread game needs to be executed silently - a new diet - a gym membership - branching out into independent interests - all the hallmarks of a man readying himself to abandon ship. No anger. No yelling. Just a whistle and a plan. Stealth mode (but not too stealthy) is always waay more serious. Let her sweat it. Why should any man have to live like that? Constantly begging for sex from an ungrateful wife? Fuuuuuck that.

Unfortunately as we all know solipsism is a thing and women will get lax sexually in a marriage if given their druthers (while fantasizing about more alpha cock).

The best technique is to always keep your SMV high - be fit - have ambition - be charming and charismatic - so wifey knows you set the bar for yourself high and therefore have higher expectations overall. Why would she ever think a sexless marriage is going to fly?

Obviously, if your SMV is high you'll always have options. Also, if you have a manly physique and great game overall she's going to want to keep fucking you because its fun. You win.

That can be the honey you catch more flies with instead of having to use the sometimes necessary vinegar of dread.

Of course you can never get married in the first place and avoid this fucking insane head game. That's a very valid option too.

Algermas · 2014-07-18T14:12:05+00:00

His follow-up dictates how I feel about this. If he stays with her it's passive-aggressive beta whining but if he's gone when she returns from her businesstrip it was a worthwhile RP truth-bomb.

DoesNotMatterAnymore · 2014-07-18T13:47:03+00:00

[off] Am i the only one who is shock by this fact?: she worked out in the afternoon, and she went to sleep without showering? I'm a clean guy, and i wouldn't allow that bitch to get in the bed next to me, that's for sure!

Viperys · 2014-07-18T16:31:52+00:00

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Bandikoto · 2014-07-18T14:25:49+00:00

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99639 · 2014-07-18T15:54:43+00:00

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insane_psycho · 2014-07-18T13:57:50+00:00

Damn should not have bought that house together.

DrakeSaint · 2014-07-18T13:21:01+00:00

This is arguably a Red Pill example if he ends up ditching her. And has potential to be hilarious if he decides to attach the spreadsheet on his divorce papers.

unethical_pirate · 2014-07-18T14:56:37+00:00

This is gold, I got a laugh out of this one. 'our sex life has tapered in the last few months but isn't that allowed?' certainly not, what is this girl thinking. She's got fat and lazy as soon as they move in their new house. Can tell she's just been a pain in this guy's arse.

Honestly I like how this guy has handled himself, he's obviously been a little bitch leading up to this point but dropping this as she's going on a 10 day business trip is a brilliant move. He's not talking, she's hamstering. Could be a complete 180. I hope he was out all week and had a good time.

I want to know what was going through this guy's head for him to come up with a spreadsheet.

trapper33 · 2014-07-18T13:44:42+00:00

So what does this spreadsheet tell her?

Hmm, maybe he's right, maybe I don't want to have sex with him.

juanqunt · 2014-07-18T17:26:17+00:00

"Didn't shower until next morning" "I feel gross"

Take a shower, you dirty kunt LOL

mercuryg · Fri Jul 18 18:37:32 2014 UTC

This woman has clearly lost almost all sexual attraction for him, and sleeps with him once every 6 - 7 days so she can hamster away the thoughts that tell her she's a bad wife. She has turned him into beta bux and will treat him as such.

In a marriage where there's clearly a huge lack of tingles, she will see sex as an obligation, a liability, and she'll only do it enough but no more.

Conclusion: If there's a lack of tingles, a woman simply won't have sex, it's just not happening, marriage or not. If there's a lack of tingles, negotiating and showing her spreadsheets won't do the trick either. If there's a lack of tingles, you must either get them back or get out.

The modern woman simply will not have sex for any other reason than tingles, you're married? She's not your property you oppressive patriarch. You're a great father and provider? Not enough you misogynist. /s

You cannot negotiate genuine desire - Rollo Tomassi

KyfhoMyoba · 2014-07-18T19:01:44+00:00

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DanG3 · 2014-07-18T14:57:18+00:00

Well, creating/presenting a SS or tracking calendar, per se, is a bad idea. BUT, the timing, delivery, circumstances, response/lack of response and MESSAGE is OUTSTANDING! "Yeah Baby, this is how it feels. And yeah, when you try to call me to talk and I don't respond, it's just like when you say "No" the second, third, ... times." If he had the notion to create a spreadsheet, you can bet there is a history of similar denials.

I'm beginning to conclude that some women conflate the whole "house and picket fence" thing coming together as "love." In fact, it seems that the better/smoother the domestic scene comes together, the less 'need' they feel for sex. For them, sex is - WAS - a part of that process as 'sanding is before painting.' In their minds you only need to sand again if you want to repaint. For guys sex is an every day, or couple of days, process of maintaining the finish. Some women don't get that. My wife didn't. It took some pretty dramatic "awareness activities" to finally get her to get it (and she still slips back sometimes). (I'll share upon request.)

slideforlife · 2014-07-18T19:24:44+00:00

"what am I supposed to do?" fuck him at the earliest opportunity, you dolt.

moonsuga · 2014-07-18T15:19:52+00:00

this lady sounds like a land-whale. eats too much, feels gross all the time, and then doesnt even shower after the gym. dude needs to get divorced now before kids get brought in and find a hottie that will bang him all the time

Wrong_Opinion · 2014-07-19T00:27:24+00:00

She only agreed during ovulation.

MrRexels · 2014-07-18T17:40:46+00:00

Somebody get a in touch with this guy and send him a link to this place, he needs it badly. We make better spreadsheets.

2014-07-18T20:43:59+00:00

A woman can't donate 6-12 minutes a day to bring pleasure to the person most important to her future welfare? Let me tell you why this bothers you, because it's not that she's selfish. It's that on a daily basis she engages in hedonistic behavior contrary to her rational self-interest. She will let her relationship go to hell to avoid momentary discomfort.

bankruptedcasino · 2014-07-18T15:11:30+00:00

I'm beginning to think the only thing to do when confronted with a sexless marriage is to start having an affair. That and subtle dread game.

Think about it. If this guy was having an affair, he would suddenly stop asking for sex all the time. Her hamster would get curious. Then, when she jetted off for 10 days on a business trip and he went no-contact, the dread would really set in.

Even if he wasn't having an affair, she'd still think he was if he acted the same way (not asking for sex, no contact on her business trip), and the dread would still set in.

This guy needs to learn that girls only really comprehend what a man is saying through their primary methods of communication: subtle signals and passive aggression.

He should have shown his wife that he can get sex whenever he wants from someone else, but he chooses to get sex from her.

Instead, he told her that he was upset he wasn't fucking enough. Expect their "conversation" when she gets home to be all about how he hasn't helped out enough around the house, mixed with some more hamstering about how their lives are stressful.

4/10 would not recommend.

DanG3 · 2014-07-18T15:28:39+00:00

I think this guy has done a great job of graphically illustrating what "Bait & Switch" looks like. The institution of marriage and, now, divorce rape 'tells' women that it IS ok to bait and switch. "Our sex life has tapered in the last few months but isn't that allowed?" IF the woman did not have these contrivances of civilization she would have to rely on what nature gave her to keep her Man around.

Ratcliff01 · 2014-07-18T18:31:14+00:00

It also highlights a thing with marriage.

She says that "isn't sex suppose to taper off? That's normal right?"

Ugh, never getting married >_>

Ojisan1 · 2014-07-18T19:26:40+00:00

Hamster's closing comment: "What the hell am I supposed to do?"

Um... Let him stick it in? It's not rocket science, lady.

iluminatiNYC · 2014-07-18T15:01:09+00:00

Reading the image, it's clear to me that she has issues with herself that she isn't being honest about. Moving in with someone can change the dynamic, and it's clear she feels more of a mommy than a sexual being. Kudos to dude calling her on her BS. Why should he remain married to someone who hates themselves. Eventually the hate is coming his way, and he is taking defensive actions.

2014-07-18T16:12:06+00:00

TL;DR - she's pretty gross.

Chicken_Hands · 2014-07-19T06:05:31+00:00

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2014-07-18T15:29:31+00:00

Happy ending: she (allegedly) cried herself to sleep.

boydeer · 2014-07-18T18:12:45+00:00

i like that she's supposed to be out working but she's an emotional wreck, and she wonders why her husband is doing this to her. haha.

in any case, as pointed out by /u/trudatness, it's only BP if he doesn't follow up right.

2014-07-18T22:10:33+00:00

Also thought of something else - I don't know if anyone has mentioned it here or not.

They are both 26. They should still be having tons of sex.

If she's pulling this shit at 26 - I don't want to even think about 36 or 46 or 56.

whatsazipper · 2014-07-18T22:35:45+00:00

When the sex tanks and you don't recover swiftly, your relationship is toast. You can't negotiate desire and if you've gotten to that point you've been fucking up hard for a long time.

Employ dread ASAP and don't fear pulling the trigger. That is: It isn't a dread bluff or game, it's real. You're going to get sex whether it's from her or not.

Better: Don't get married, so a woman can never hold it over you like that with impunity.

2014-07-19T22:48:04+00:00

All excuses are bullshit if a women is truly attracted to you she'll find any excuse to get you in bed.

2014-07-18T18:41:26+00:00

Our sex life has tapered in the last few months

The times in seven weeks isn't "tapering", and she's giving other clues that she's lost interest (like gaining weight).

They've only been together five years. If this is life without kids when the kids come this guy will be remember fondly to the time when he got sex three times in seven weeks. He should leave her before it gets complicated by children.

yummyluckycharms · 2014-07-18T15:47:07+00:00

His marriage is going to end anyways, so might as well have an affair, and then start socking his money away. When she wonders why he doesn't pester her about sex anymore, she'll realize that her beta is slipping out of her hegemony, and will file divorce papers

Of course, at this point, he would've been prepared for it and would beginning to slowly rebuild his life and harem.

Aerobus · 2014-07-18T16:42:22+00:00

Example #2345251 of why you do not get married.

Also, this is what happens when you don't make women respect you.

everfresh7 · 2014-07-18T18:00:48+00:00

Why is he putting me through this? What the hell am I supposed to do?

That victim mentality shines like a lighthouse in a hamster storm.

MockingDead · 2014-07-18T23:01:26+00:00

I think it's fantastic - if your plan is to never have sex and be shamed by her and her friends.

See, the problem is, revealing reality to her will only make her angry. Never forget, for women: feels > facts.

SouthAfricanGiant · 2014-07-19T09:26:15+00:00

I love the apparent dread she is experiencing... she waited by the phone. HAHA. This bitch is probably afraid that she is going to finally be getting some sex for the time she is not there. Love it.

Mouthpiece · 2014-07-18T18:11:12+00:00

I was surprised and impressed by most of the comments. Yes, this was kind of a dick move to go silent on her, and it was clearly an act of desperation, but it was also obviously not the start of the conversation. He's clearly been trying to convey to her for some time that he was unhappy, to the point where he eventually started making a spreadsheet

I don't think day one of the spreadsheet was day one of the problem.

Here's one interesting thing I observed, though. She's the one hitting the gym and spending 10 days away on a business trip. What is he doing? Do you think he's hitting the gym? You think he's keeping his SMV up? Something tells me if he was, he would be having these problems.

Maybe he needs to start reading MMSL.

Bandikoto · 2014-07-18T15:05:07+00:00

What do you get when you pair a beta with a hamster? Well... a guy trying to solve everything with whiny logic and a girl looking for social confirmation that she is in the right and validation from other females.

And people say that TRPers are miserable... these people are miserable. Tallying up this shit like this guy did might be the most passive aggressive, beta thing I have ever seen in my life. He spends a month acting like it's all normal and not voicing his thoughts on the matter (while taking out his laptop to make another entry)... who the hell would want to fuck this guy anyway. And her reaction (he's so hateful and cruel and evil!) is equally ridiculous. What a pair.

thedangerboy · 2014-07-18T14:43:36+00:00

While I think it is passive aggressive to send an email with the spreadsheet, I feel tracking the information is a trans-formative process for his relationship and a step in the right direction if he is seeking to continue the relationship. The wife is aware that her husband is serious about sex. I certainly don't know his thought process but I assume he thought that the level of sex they had before the marriage would continue, but it has not. Now she knows he wants that level to return. She may or may not keep track of his future requests, but she will always remember this tracking and will likely be more accepting of his requests. She can clearly see that she does not always have to feel her best to be getting laid as he asked twice after a work out. He is also making her aware of her laziness by showing that she is doing some things a roommate would do (keeping the place clean), some things a wife would do (cook), but not all things he wants his wife to do (sex).

He certainly has gumption. Showing her that she is not holding up her end is a start, he must confront her better on this, however. Also, he must uphold his end of the marriage contract as well.

srtor · 2014-07-18T15:44:49+00:00

These are some of the dumbest fucking comments i've read in awhile.

Dreamtrain · 2014-07-18T16:24:08+00:00

Wow thread got locked at 470 comments in only 4 hours.

PlanB_pedofile · 2014-07-18T16:39:29+00:00

I wonder how many husbands with working wives (who take 10 day 'business' trips) have sex more than that. Not many, I'd wager.

redpillshadow · 2014-07-18T19:42:46+00:00

It is a threat. Husband is telling OP that the marriage is basically over. Maybe he is sitting next to a lawyer right now.

/r/relationships is way too busy telling her how cruel and unfair the husband is to notice

2014-07-18T21:00:42+00:00

The hamstering on the r/relationships thread is absolutely insane.

EnlightenedDark · 2014-07-18T21:08:52+00:00

There are people that go to the gym and don't shower till the next day? Wow.

avagacadabra · 2014-07-18T22:48:10+00:00

She no attracted to him anymore.

2014-07-18T23:09:52+00:00

This is the most beta shit I've ever seen, made me cringe.

hamstercide · 2014-07-18T23:39:17+00:00

So he does this and her best idea is to post about it on reddit? Isn't it obvious what she has to do?

2014-07-18T23:43:32+00:00

Every time he tried to bring it up in a normal way she responded by changing the subject or ignoring him.

I guarantee it.

winnnnnnnnn · 2014-07-18T16:43:04+00:00

Lmao he pulled out a spread sheet on a woman?! O'lordy lol... This should be good. Grabs popcorn Jokes aside I think this is an extreme almost caricature like example of men (mostly men) and women not "understanding" each other and then resorting to X = Y logic with respect to their gender. There's some gold in the absurdity not sure where but its there.

swaggertank · 2014-07-18T20:11:42+00:00

Typical chode. You don't ask logically "do you want to have sex" even if you're married. You turn her on emotionally and then she will be down to fuck.

RadRobot13 · 2014-07-18T14:10:13+00:00

that husband is not a smart man.

2014-07-18T16:54:16+00:00

Here is the redditlog version. http://www.redditlog.com/snapshots/873749

Can't be sure if troll, but you go to OP's /u/ page the spreadsheet link is easily found. It is @ http://i.imgur.com/cSCdYL3.jpg

conradaiken · 2014-07-18T18:15:14+00:00

I turn mine down more often than she turns me down. - she wants the d so much, jesus.

ekjohnson9 · 2014-07-18T21:05:46+00:00

The husbands biggest flaw here was letting it get to the point he feels put in a corner.

jeff_vii · 2014-07-19T00:26:43+00:00

this is too real life

hispeedzintarwebz · 2014-07-19T21:50:51+00:00

I don't think the issue is whether or not she wants to have sex. I'm a guy, and I'm in a committed long term relationship. I know that not every time I want to have sex she will also want it. But if after a long period of time, there is much less, something else is going on. And if the excuses I'm getting are bullshit (i.e. "I'm sweaty I have to take a shower first" and no shower happens until the following morning) then the issue isn't as much that I want more sex as much as I want to know what is going on. Are you not attracted to me as much? Are you too stressed out? Is there someone else? I'd be willing to bet the guy doesn't want more sex nearly as much as he wants to know what is really going on and what will fix it.

maggieG42 · 2014-07-21T00:53:50+00:00

I have read a few comments and I have not notice one person mention this.

His wife sounds as if she has low levels of oestrogen.

Things low oestrogen can do to a women.

Cause incontinence. That is right even with 1000s of kegels the hormones will cause incontinence. Perhaps she is feeling unclean because she has a leakage problem. Women are ashamed of this and will not want to discuss it. It happesn to all women at some stage in their life...
Tiredness. I don't mean tiredness after a workout but complete 24hr 7 day a week tiredness.
Lack of lubrication: That is dry vagina... the hurts the next day after sex.
Low sex drive.
Abdominal fat....

This woman sounds like she needs to head to the Dr and get her hormone levels checked

galaxy_man33 · 2014-07-22T14:31:30+00:00

DAMN...my local news station even got wind of this story........LMAO

http://www.local21news.com/news/features/top-stories/stories/husband-documents-wifes-reasons-rejecting-sex-10532.shtml?wap=0&

Richguy14u · 2014-07-24T18:05:02+00:00

You lucky man. you got thrice! I have been denied 100% of time in last one year!!

tedcase · 2014-07-18T19:46:26+00:00

I usually find that just wanking in bed solves the problem faster.

Spidertech500 · 2014-07-19T01:42:46+00:00

Can i say something out of curiosity, yes Sex is great and pleasurable, but isn't it as an alpha we should be able to pick and choose our wants and needs, i understand sex is a definite pleasure, but it strikes me as most of the "beta" examples are completely in relation to sex, life isnt that black and white, and sex isnt all we desire if i've represented this community correctly in my mind. That's kinda the beauty of mgtow, and honestly probably a better personality for this, you want to play relationship games? fine but im not playing with you. I'll take up a hobby and work on myself. Isnt that the point here of TRP? to prove we are independent?

Zenaf · 2014-07-21T18:46:50+00:00

She's completely inconsiderate, and now she tries to spin the story as if he's the asshole

subcover · 2014-07-18T16:28:00+00:00

this isn't funny, this is terrifyingly passive-aggressive, mean, and high-school-girl-ish. the sense of entitlement paired with the whininess is just mindblowing. imagining this man spitefully entering rejections into a spreadsheet makes me feel so embarrassed for him.

RAL9000 · 2014-07-18T16:04:32+00:00

Passive aggressive bullshit that tries to tingle her ladyparts by logical arguments and quantitative Information. Good luck with that.

TooDamnHighGuy · 2014-07-18T15:49:09+00:00

yeah - putting her through a bit of pain is alright. but this much, might be a bit too far.

anyone who has ever been married knows that marriage is work. (I don't want to hear it from anyone under 25 who hasn't been married more than 3 years)

marriage is work. you are going to have fights, arguments, disagreements, loss of communication and intimacy, physical contact issues... but the key is to WORK at them, and keep rebuilding strong.

It shouldn't be THAT much work, but there will be some.

The point is that there might be better ways to handle this than this dude is. Or a better time to bring it up.

Being the biggest possible dick you can possibly be to make your point, when you have a legit point to make - is not going to end well.

He'll be divorced within 2 years. Might be the good/right thing. Until his next wife does something he doesn't like and decideds to pull out a spreadsheet again... but he won't. because he'll be smarter about it the next time around, and he'll realize that he just have to have the real BALLS the express his feelings and anger/hatred/pain to her face.

Not any of this backhanded shit. And I'm not talking about 'getting in touch with your feelings/femine side'. I'm talking about being a man, and growing a pair, and telling someone what you actually think and is actually on your mind, instead of building up a bunch of pent up anger until you find a cowardly, backhanded way to get revenge.

If that is your style. You will always fail.

Wife denies husband sex 25 out of 28 times he asked, shows her on spreadsheet.

Comments

yesallwomenarelikethat

Title	Wife denies husband sex 25 out of 28 times he asked, shows her on spreadsheet.
Author	The_BitterTruth
Upvotes	503
Comments	430
Date	July 18, 2014 1:06 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2b1kgi/wife_denies_husband_sex_25_out_of_28_times_he/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/wife-denies-husband-sex-25-out-of-28-times-he.18086 https://theredarchive.com/post/18086