What are the causes of single-motherhood?

Barely-moral · 2018-04-17T15:11:24+00:00

Society doesn't punish single moms enough to be a deterrent.

In the past if you were a single mom you were considered pretty much trash and you didn't get much help. That is not the case today. I am not saying that should be the case. I am just describing the situation.

Society doesn't give men enough so they actually want to stay.

There is no respect nor authority in being a father in today's society. There is also no guarantee that he can keep his family or resources if the woman wants a separation.

Drug war.

If you put men in jail for bullshit reasons, those men's kids will have no father.

Women choose to have sex with deadbeats.

Women have options for birth control and can have an abortion. If she has a child it is because she chose to. If she has a child with someone is because she chose to have a child with that someone. If she chose the kind of guy that would leave her alone with the child/ be that bad of a parent that it is better to leave him, that is on her.

She should have known that guy better before choosing to have a child with him.

(There are extreme circumstances that may be an exemption of course)

eliechallita · 2018-04-17T14:32:46+00:00

Q4All: What are the major causes of single-motherhood?

out of wedlock sex.

women having sex with sexy, attractive, irresponsible men with few resources.

messages from mass media, church, and culture to women stating "you can have it all" and "you can raise a child by yourself" and "you don't need men" and "men ain't shit" and "men are stupid, worthless, bumbling idiots who wouldn't be able to find their asses with both hands if it weren't for you sensible, levelheaded, and goodnatured women".

Q4All: Why do you think this paradox exists?

Because women want babies.

Because among the poverty class/underclass/welfare class, young women have babies because that's their monetary ticket out of their dysfunctional homes. A baby means WIC and TANF money, a state medical card, section 8 housing, and a government income stream. More babies = more money. And maybe when the baby daddy is working, some child support money or diapers or a stroller.

Because among the poverty class/welfare class/underclass, young women have babies out of wedlock because everyone else around them is also having babies out of wedlock. It's just "normal". In fact, odds are she herself was a bastard child. Her mother was probably a single mom, and she barely knows or has a relationship with her father, assuming her mother even knows who he is.

Poverty class/welfare class/underclass women have babies because it gives them a sense of purpose. Nothing else going on. They're poor. They work dead end jobs (if they work at all). They're not college material. They're going nowhere in their lives. A baby gives them a reason to live, to keep going. A baby in their minds is someone who will love them unconditionally. A baby needs his/her mother. And being a mother means being needed.

Women have babies because they're built to get alpha seed, get pregnant, and reproduce.

officerkondo · 2018-04-17T14:35:50+00:00

Q4All: What are the major causes of single-motherhood?

The first step to being a good mother is to pick a good father for your child. The overwhelming cause is that women are failing in this regard.

belletaco · 2018-04-17T15:44:53+00:00

Sorry, but the stigma around abortion needs to drop and they have to be more readily available to women. I believe Mississippi has one abortion clinic, not surprised it's in the top 3 poorest US states. I also believe there has indeed been a significant drop in teen pregnancy since birth control became free, but I'd have to check sources on that. I just remember reading it a while ago.

The women who TRP is typically talking about are women who had nothing else going on for them so they had a baby, that's where problems arise.

says_harsh_things · 2018-04-17T14:27:50+00:00

By all measures, contraceptives (including BC) have been more accessible than ever (nearly free) and sex ed has never been more widely adopted.

I am absolutely amazed by the number of otherwise smart, level headed people that nut in each other without protection and just think "eh, nothing is going to happen". I know a lot of people like this. I guess for some people who have a surprise third baby it might be based on difficulties conceiving the first two, but for new parents? I have no explanation.

Furthermore, some people are just bad about taking their pills.

I think the biggest cause of single motherhood is not taking BC seriously.

[deleted] · 2018-04-17T18:43:13+00:00

VAST MAJORITY OF WOMEN I KNOW WHO ARE SINGLE MOMS:

Serious boyfriend of a few years, not ready for marriage, had unprotected sex, had a baby. Are still in an LTR but aren’t married

A FEW:

Serious boyfriend of a few years, not ready for marriage, had unprotected sex, had a baby. Boyfriend was the one who left them.

A FEW:

Flakey and wild had unprotected casual sex.

reluctantly_red · 2018-04-17T15:18:05+00:00

Single motherhood (and birth rates generally) have been declining in every developed country in the world except the United States. The reason is obvious. All measures of inequality are far higher in the USA. Economic inequality is higher. Educational inequality is higher. Racial inequality is higher. We are no longer the land of opportunity (for many groups we never were). Rather we are the world's most punitive dog eat dog developed country.

The vast majority of single mothers never had a chance -- be they white girls from the trailer park or dark skin girls from the hood. When all other doors are closed being a mother is one respectable thing they can do.

Electra_Cute · 2018-04-17T14:24:28+00:00

sex ed has never been more widely adopted.

If I recall correctly there is still abstinence sexual education in some states/areas.

Q4All: Why do you think this paradox exists?

What paradox?

Q4All: What are some measures of decreasing the single-motherhood rate?

I think a lot of it has to do with lack of education/living in poverty, if that was reduced somehow I think it would fix most of the issue there. How that is done I have no idea.

[deleted] · 2018-04-17T15:57:59+00:00

This has been studied to death by actual academics, dunno why you'd ask a bunch of laymen (to put it politely) to give their uninformed opinions.

If you want an actual answer to this question that isn't "durrr single mothers are just dumb holes who couldn't keep their legs closed" you'd be better off with a simple google search

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2018-04-17T14:16:16+00:00

well to be fair, if you dont want "your tax money" going to poor single moms, you should be highly in favor of court ordered CS which goes directly to the government and helps offset the tax monies spent on them

azngirl7689 · 2018-04-17T15:05:33+00:00

POS men who knock women up and run. People who just want to have fun and think with the wrong head. Women are at fault as well obviously but how many guys whine and moan and carry on about how awful condoms are and can he pleeeeeeeeeease just pull out this one time???

CursedLemon · 2018-04-17T23:35:27+00:00

The idea that women are commonly trying to be single mothers is a laughable myth.

Extrapolate from there.

DareyFathom · 2018-04-17T14:52:01+00:00

Modern feminism is the root cause.

nemma88 · 2018-04-17T15:58:16+00:00

Q4All: What are the major causes of single-motherhood? Q4All: Why do you think this paradox exists?

Expectation that you would be marrying a woman you knocked up no longer exists in most places, and now a whole lot more people date and have sex OOW instead of engagement after a few months and saving themselves for marriage. So instead of getting married after a bump appears being the most scandalous of circumstances, now we have more couples having children who later drift apart.

People have always acted like this, its just easier than ever for either gender to leave a relationship - even with kids. Not much value is given anymore to the family unit, people would rather concentrate on themselves. Not that there's anything wrong with that - sure if you don't believe in a afterlife no point living a life you don't want. But what people want at any given moment tends to change quite rapidly.

Q4All: What are some measures of decreasing the single-motherhood rate?

Force marriage or force termination? I don't really think it's that much of a issue, might be because I don't have to deal with any abrasive single mothers.

Equalina · 2018-04-17T16:19:25+00:00

Unmarried and single mother are not synonymous in my book, so that graphic doesn’t really tell much more than people are not as worried about having children out of wedlock as they used to be... I know though that single parent families are much more common than they used to be.

Single parents in New Zealand number about 28% of families with children. 14% of those single parents are male. I don’t know how this compares to the US.

There is plenty of government and social support for single parents. Usually it is seen as something unavoidable and deserving of sympathy. Making it ‘work’ as a single parent is lauded as it is obviously harder than if you have two working parents who are invested in the children. Also in some close knit Maori and Pacific Island communities, a child is raised by the whole extended family, so being a solo mum doesn’t mean the same as it might to others.

I know that some women choose to be single mothers - either through adoption or sperm donation. Those women will usually have the resources and forethought to give that child the best start they can in life. The majority though are either choosing the wrong men to have unprotected sex with or are just silly, under-educated women who want a baby above all else and figure it will work out ok regardless of the father being reliably in the picture.

So many people today seem to me to be pretty thoughtless about the future. They live for short term pleasure and assume the consequences can’t be that bad. The children suffer the most. Some people see it as some basic human need that they must procreate and give little thought to what kind of life they are bringing a child into. It’s very selfish and shortsighted.

I don’t see this as solely the fault of women, but the ultimate responsibility lies with the woman. If it’s her body when it comes to deciding on abortion, then she should also bear the main responsibility for choosing to carry a baby to term and what life that child will have. It’s every mother’s responsibility to give her child her all. I don’t think enough women truly embody what it takes to do that anymore though.

Just as too many young men are recklessly endangering themselves and others with criminal activities and antisocial behavior - or withdrawing completely into gaming and porn addiction - many young women prioritize the wrong things (material things, vanity, etc), irresponsibly have children they are neither mature nor prepared enough to raise and lean on others sympathy to help bring the child up. All the while feeling like they are deserving of being called brave for being a single mother. It’s just a byproduct of growing up in a society with a very shaky moral compass, relatively soft consequences for stupid life choices and a sense of entitlement to a certain lifestyle that puts selfish pleasure and vanity above duty and doing things for the benefit of others.

Everyone is encouraged to be self involved, ungenerous, independent and ultimately put themselves and their desires ahead of everyone else. Things are to be measured and tallied so as to never give more than you get. ‘Why do this for someone if I’m not guaranteed something in return?’ Being a truly good parent requires sacrifice and a certain selflessness. It doesn’t jive with that we’re told to prioritize in ourselves today. Faith in each other is also pretty much dead. Everyone is afraid of being screwed over somehow so they live how they want without much thought to the consequences for others - including their offspring.

Having a child is painted as the ultimate expression of your womanhood - the only thing you were put on this earth to do if you have ovaries. Many men and women still wholeheartedly believe this, so it shouldn’t be surprising that many women have babies they haven’t really planned well for - it makes them feel good about their role in life. A life that is likely much more consume than contribute. Most people are unremarkable and their legacy is their children. Guess you can’t blame your average shallow-thinking person for wanting that.

Wow, I obviously needed to rant! I’m having a bad day, so...

Five_Decades · 2018-04-17T18:12:29+00:00

Here are things that are correlated to being a single mother:

Race (blacks have higher rates, asians lower rates, whites below average rates.

Education (the more education a woman has, the lower her odds of single parenthood). I think among college educated women only 10% of children are raised by single mothers, among high school dropouts the rates are 50% or more)

Age at which the child is born (the younger the woman, the higher the odds of being a single parent)

So looking at all that, what can be done about it? I do not know. But for the most part single parenthood is a reflection of socioeconomic status.

SlimLovin · 2018-04-17T16:49:51+00:00

TL;DR A single mother is created when a father leaves.

wtknight · 2018-04-17T15:47:38+00:00

Finding birth control seems to be an inconvenience to some women, and many men prefer not to use condoms. With an adequate social safety net, there’s not enough disincentive not to have children out of wedlock. And even if there were no social safety net I’m sure that many still would.

justhanging92 · 2018-04-17T19:18:30+00:00

Hasn’t there been a rise of unwed, cohabitating couples though? What about older women who had their eggs frozen and had artificial insemination? In these two cases it was most likely deliberate, and teen pregnancy rates have been decreasing too.

Noxin__Nixon · 2018-04-17T20:03:46+00:00

1) Poor choice in mating

2) Irresponsible birth control

3) religion and other philosophical opposition to abortion or lack of access by authoritarian states to abortion

4) Any mix of 1-3

DarkLord0chinChin · 2018-04-17T14:44:14+00:00

Because they're trashy, low-FTO and have weird beliefs about life / abortion

Offhisgame · 2018-04-17T16:21:57+00:00

Mostly relationships that dont work out. What are the causes of bitter, ugly red pillers?

Bad genetics.

Ultramegasaurus · 2018-04-17T15:35:47+00:00

From most common to least common:

Women who are simply too dumb to use contraception or ask their partner to wear condoms.
Egoistical women who want to lock down a lover and/or provider by having a child without his consent. Includes women who plan to rely on child support and welfare all along.
Vicious women who do a 180° and make life hell for the father during pregnancy or after childbirth. Includes initiating divorce for petty reasons.
Two-faced men who agree to have a child and then suddenly bail out during pregnancy or (shortly) after childbirth.
Vicious men who do a 180° and make life hell for the mother during pregnancy or after childbirth. Includes divorce for petty reasons.

As you can see, I do indeed mainly blame women. The reason is simple, they have absolute reproductional authority nowadays and thus carry the brunt of the responsibility as well, in my opinion.

[deleted] · 2018-04-17T15:46:58+00:00

These people are stupid.

And the government pays them to be stupid

prodigy2throw · 2018-04-17T16:33:03+00:00

Poor decisions and child support system. If women knew they couldn’t get a check from the government or they baby daddy for having a kid there would be infinitely less single moms

Taipanshimshon · 2018-04-17T17:08:23+00:00

single motherhood exists because women have conflicting messages.

one is " sex is risk free"* ( in terms of motherhood) if I use BC.

The other is some version of " I dont need no man"

another is some guilt about abortion or a woman's innate desire to have the baby once its in there. ( most women, as far as I know)

This is combined with the fact that if she has the child, baby daddy or the state will provide for her. Or she think she can find another guy to do that.

( In b4 hurr durr men leave their children , evil evil men)

women who are single mothers in this day and age mostly were not careful in choosing a sex partner who was more father material rather than ONS / hot fun material.

and then there is the idea that "single mothers are strong" .

Being a single mother doesn't mean your strong. Strong people are successful at raising a kid by themselves more often than weak ones, but having the kid doesnt give you strength.

[deleted] · 2018-04-17T17:08:41+00:00

There’s less of a social stigma against single motherhood, and less pressure/interest in marriage, save for the wealthy and educated. People are always going to have sex, the social changes just result in less marriage and the same amount of babies.

rudolftherednosed · 2018-04-17T17:47:01+00:00

If I were to make a guess, single-motherhood causes might include: lack of proper sex education, lack of awareness that sex leads to pregnancy (particularly for those taught abstinence only), the man does not have adequate resources to help, the man skips out on the woman, the man unexpectedly dies, the woman leaves the man due to abuse, the woman leaves the man because she doesn't think he'd make a good father, their family does not think the couple should marry, the couple does not want to marry, the couple is cohabitating instead of marrying, etc.

couldbemage · 2018-04-17T18:51:30+00:00

Single and unmarried aren't the same thing. Those stats are only for marriage. Lots of couples choose to have kids and don't choose legal marriage. I say I've had three wives, but the middle wife, that I had kids with, I never married.

Many of the reasons for legal marriage no longer exist, and marriage actually carries a tax penalty for dual income couples.

[deleted] · 2018-04-17T20:28:54+00:00

Q4All: What are the major causes of single-motherhood?

Abortion being hard to get due to government unwilling to allow normal hospitals to provide it or women unwilling to get an abortion because of personal morals. I live in a state where it's famous for being impossible to get an abortion. I had to drive a friend 6 hours to another state to get her abortion. I'm sure plenty of women who live in poverty in my area can't afford that trip.

Birth control is not free. Idk how you got to that conclusion. It's not available over the counter so it's not accessible and it's over priced due to it being covered by health insurance.

Q4All: Why do you think this paradox exists?

Many fathers are involved with the mother when the child is born. Most single mothers probably thought it was going to work out in the long term.

Interesting fact: Fathers are more likely to stick around and marry the mother if they have a son.

https://eml.berkeley.edu//~moretti/sons.pdf

Q4All: What are some measures of decreasing the single-motherhood rate?

Educate on how tough single motherhood is and don't believe that a pregnancy or children will keep the father around.

Entropy-7 · 2018-04-18T02:18:49+00:00

The welfare state, feminism, but mostly the former. Thomas Sowell has been on top of this with respect to Black America for a long time now, but similar arguments can be made for everyone else.

A sampling of his thoughts are here, here and here.

Some quotes (and quotes of quotes) are:

Of course women do not get pregnant just to get welfare benefits.... But, by removing the economic consequences of out-of-wedlock birth, welfare has removed a major incentive to avoid such pregnancies. A teenager looking around at her friends and neighbors is liable to see several who have given birth out-of- wedlock. When she sees that they have suffered few visible consequences ... she is less inclined to modify her own behavior to prevent pregnancy.... Current welfare policies seem to be designed with an appalling lack of concern for their impact on out-of-wedlock births. Indeed, Medicaid programs in 11 states actually provide infertility treatments to single women on welfare.

..

Feminists, similarly fixated on overturning the “oppressive ideal of the nuclear family,” also welcomed this dubious scholarship. Convinced that marriage was the main arena of male privilege, feminists projected onto the struggling single mother an image of the “strong black woman” who had always had to work and who was “superior in terms of [her] ability to function healthily in the world,” as Toni Morrison put it. The lucky black single mother could also enjoy more equal relationships with men than her miserably married white sisters.

..

CDF was able to mount a powerful case for a host of services, from prenatal care to day care to housing subsidies, in the name of children’s developmental needs, which did not seem to include either a stable domestic life or, for that matter, fathers.

..

This [shifting the cultural incentives upside down] caused what Democrat Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan called “defining deviancy downward.” And with Civil Rights Act of 1964 giving legal credence to making any sort of behavioral judgment toxic, the cultural glue that held together the African-American family was fundamentally changed.

..

Discriminating between proper and bad behavior as a legitimate judgment, it is not discrimination or bigotry. Basic psychology tells us when you are allowed to get away with and are rewarded for bad behavior; you reinforce and get more progressively worse behavior that harms children.

analt223 · 2018-04-18T12:39:00+00:00

Almost all single mothers are 1 of 2 things

1) She was knocked up WAY too young, not realizing that the man she thought "loved her" just wanted her to shoot loads into her

2) Her husband lost his job and either became a deadbeat, or she became not sexually aroused by him anymore, or both

There are the occasional early deaths of fathers, or she was being abused, but those arent as common

Eastuss · 2018-04-17T14:26:03+00:00

Q4All: What are the major causes of single-motherhood?

Stupidity, lack of education, lack of financial stability, lack of incentives to keep being around....

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Yeetinator4000Savage · 2018-04-17T17:05:31+00:00

Our society is slowly losing its morals. Also the expansion of the welfare state has allowed women to marry the government and men to abandon their parental responsibilities.

Christian_Kong · 2018-04-17T17:13:00+00:00

Q4All: What are the major causes of single-motherhood?

Q4All: Why do you think this paradox exists?

Answer to both is stupid shitty men and women.

Q4All: What are some measures of decreasing the single-motherhood rate?

I don't have any answers here but I would guess more educational and economic parity among people would help.

edit-also free vasectomies for all.

blackedoutfast · 2018-04-17T17:17:05+00:00

some women are sluts who fuck a lot of guys but can't cultivate a solid relationship. one day they get pregnant and have a baby to try to fill the emotional void and give their life some meaning.

other women are in a bad relationship with a guy who isn't going to commit and she hope the baby will fix it, that having a child will make the father "man up" and get serious and become a good father and husband. i assume that occasionally that actually works, but usually the man doesn't mature or commit to her and now she has a baby and a lot of drama to deal with too.

Reverend_Vader · 2018-04-17T18:15:30+00:00

I can't say i'd firmly plant my flag in these offerings but they do have relevance for me.

Once a woman has a child there may be little difference between what she can get financially whether she is with him or not. This may be further compounded with marriage.

This certainly applies to women who are not with someone bringing in $$$$ where alimony, state benefits etc. mean their partner becomes somewhat redundant as they would get the same as a single mother (sometimes women in the UK would be better off single but they need to be low/no earnings)

The promotion of "you don't need no man"
Friends and family leaning towards "dump him" when problems start (especially if he is of no financial benefit being with her) instead of "go work on your issues with him"
Getting pregnant to dickhead men
Getting pregnant through thinking with their lady gardens and taking stupid risks.

Bottom line for me is there is a lack of perceived deterrent for women not to have a kid if she wants one. There are numerous safety nets and fall backs for her.

Add the growing lack of respect for men's role in a family and the greater demand to acknowledge every action a mother/woman takes as the sacrifice, there is no bond left to keep people together.

Poster515 · 2018-04-18T01:46:53+00:00

Aside from single mothers being seen as an unnecessary and undeserved drain on resources, govt assistance, etc. another aspect of the resentment directed toward them is - they are seen as the direct result and poster example of women making poor mate selection choices by many men who have been taught all their lives to focus on being hardworking, sensitive, and responsible to best attract women - only to be surprisingly disappointed when women choose physically attractive but financially destitute Chad.

Reven311 · 2018-04-17T20:37:01+00:00

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/R/K_selection_theory

The environment and prenatal testosterone exposure in the womb dictates whether r or K is a more desirable reproductive strategy.

[deleted] · 2018-04-18T00:30:51+00:00

The graph you provided shows unmarried, which is not necessarily single. Your graph also ends at 2010. The graph Electra provided continues to 2014 and also shows that children born from unmarried couples are declining. From 2006-2010 over 50% were cohabiting, so maybe some are dating but unwed. (Edit: well cohabiting is they are living together and have a sexual relationship)

According to the U.S. census in 2016 (https://www.census.gov/newsroom/press-releases/2016/cb16-192.html):

"About 38 percent of opposite-sex unmarried couples have a child under age 18 living with them."

I'm finding it a bit hard to find a graph that only shows single unwed mothers that can show why they are single. I either found graphs of single mothers but included widows, or graphs of unwed but includes couples living together.

From my personal experience, although birth control is available and some are low cost or free, some people do not want to take birth control. Reasons can include religious or because of fear of the side effects, also some people are too confident in the pull out method. Even when people take birth control, there is still a possibility of pregrancy. There are some medications that can interfere with birth control. (https://www.webmd.com/sex/birth-control/medicines-interfere-birth-control-pills)

Some of my assumptions of why women are unwed single moms (just personal observation):

Desire to be a mom
Age, seems like single moms are more likely to be in their teens and early 20s
Poorer people seem more likely to be single moms, or at least unwed
Some women want to trap guys, and believe that haveing a kid would convince the man to stay. Or they want child support.

[deleted] · 2018-04-18T07:02:08+00:00

The raise of single motherhood was incentivized to a great amount by the government. The wealth redistribution is the problem here. Without the state, promiscuity would be shamed much more, single motherhood would not be as rampant as it is now, and women would reap what they sow. Government is our biggest enemy.

jeffersonsexmouth · 2018-04-19T03:29:27+00:00

Hormones make people stupid. Stupid people make stupid decisions. Add lack of impulse control to lack of wisdom and foresight (especially common among young people) to stupid fostered by a culture that lacks discipline and well...

zeromonster89 · 2018-04-17T14:33:21+00:00

Here's my take: We have made it to we're women can divorce men and get half of his income. We have also made life very comfortable for single mothers to live with no man in the house. There is also no stigma against single motherhood in general, infact we view them as heroes.

AntiAbleism · 2018-04-17T16:08:25+00:00

Women choosing men based on looks.

meomeowmeoww · 2018-04-17T18:00:00+00:00

Shitty men. (In b4 you hanged goal posts to wimmin)

Title	What are the causes of single-motherhood?
Author	Mr_Smoogs
Upvotes	10
Comments	374
Date	April 17, 2018 2:13 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/8cwtma/what_are_the_causes_of_singlemotherhood/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-are-the-causes-of-single-motherhood.262845 https://theredarchive.com/post/262845

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