Theory Friday - No Stupid Questions Thread

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April 22, 2016

Post your embarrassingly stupid questions here, and we'll answer.

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Title Theory Friday - No Stupid Questions Thread
Author redpillschool
Upvotes 98
Comments 422
Date 22 April 2016 12:40 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
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Red Pill terms found in post:
the red pill

[–]Seducibledotcom1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Mods, can I nominate this blog be added to the sidebar?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

I've been trying to fix my posture lately and was wondering if I'm going too far with pulling my shoulder blades back and down. It feels strange in my collarbones on each side when I open my chest like that, is it something my body will get used to?

[–]R5012 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah feels weird at first because proper posture is not "normal" to your body. I've been using this video for years and will help.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

How do I become an approved user to be able to post on TRP?

[–][deleted] 2 points2 points | Copy

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[–]plebbit_guy2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I saw 'What Every Body is Saying' by Joe Navarro (an ex-FBI Agent) recommended a couple of weeks ago and picked it up. Haven't had a whole lot of time to read it lately, but at a glance it covers how the different parts of our body are used (subconsciously) to convey what we're feeling, and also how he (as an FBI Agent) could frame his questions to try and elicit a certain body language cue to confirm or deny his suspicions.

[–]Dio_Brando_Joestar2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

My game sucks. How do i improve it ? I want to have great game that will allow me to have many friends and women in my life. I'm much of an introvert and my looks haa had me have success in getting laid. I'm not completely socially retarded either. I lift and look good, and feel good About myself.

My game just sucks. How do i improve it ?

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[–]noreej1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Can you give me some links to posts or articles related to the Mystery method?

[–]Wolfengristl 2 points2 points [recovered] | Copy

I often hear about people needing 'strong father figures,' and that in their absence we search for them until we find one.

Is there such a thing as a 'strong mother figure'? And, do we need them as much as a strong father figure?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

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[–]trpthrowaway9112 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

i still don't understand the exact problem with women who have daddy issues. like, what if he was never there. are they more clingy then or narcisstic or slutty or what? and why? also, what if the mother is the problem? what kind of behaviour must be expected then?

can someone please elaborate?

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

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[–]trpthrowaway9111 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

thanks for your answer! appreciate it very much.

[–]cantFindValidNam3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

Does any other non-native speaker feel that rollo tomassi's articles are too hard to understand?

[–]disgruntledearthling1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

There's different reading levels that writers will write to. Most popular literature is targeted to high-school reading abilities. Some magazines like 'The Economist' are targeted to university-level capabilities. I find Rollo is somewhere at the 'post-doc' level which is fine if you are used to reading scientific research papers but I think he's loosing the young audience that hasn't or perhaps never will attain that level. Forcing yourself to work through the language level in his articles should be part of your self-improvement strategy and will help you in the long-run. However, due to the rate at which he publishes, some of the grammar and run-on sentences could use a second editing. But his stuff is gold, so deal with it :)

[–]Endorsed ContributorScholarInRed0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This. The penny dropped on me a while ago. My main complaint is that he uses far too many pronouns and prepositions.

This is that style in which this content is conveyed to that reader who is reading this.

Being a shitty example. I'd dig up an actual quote but then you wouldn't be able to judge for yourself. Just read some and tell me if he uses too many instances of "this, that, his, hers" etc in his sentences. It's too laboured.

Fantastic content though.

[–]1wakethfkupneo1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Same here. Sometimes it's uncommon words (google dictionary plugin that immediately pops definition upon double click selecting word comes in handy) and sometimes it's just ... I dunno, style of writhing ... the way he forms sentences. It's hard to put finger on something specific, but reading his blog takes more mental focus than reading other's, or posts here. I guess his writing style has changed over time cause old blog posts are easier to digest compared to newer stuff.

[–]fishysmelly0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hard but not too hard. When I first swallowed the pill I indulged in his writings. I allways had to have a lexicon on the second tab and read every article twice. In the end I learned alot of english.

Give it the time and effort it truly deserves.

[–]QPRCHOC5 points6 points  (18 children) | Copy

How do you go about transitioning from dating to LTR? What sort of ground rules do you lay down? How do you maintain frame?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

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[–]QPRCHOC4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

I feel like I've been reading loads of posts and articles but I think I've barely scratched the surface. I love how well-researched this sub is.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

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[–]QPRCHOC2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I can't find it in the sidebar, could you post a link?

[–]5639673251 point2 points  (12 children) | Copy

Have you read the bitch management hierarchy post?

[–]QPRCHOC1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy

Nope. Could you post a link?

[–]trpthrowaway9111 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

it's in the sidebar, dude. "how to manage your bitches"

[–]5639673251 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

It won't let me post the link but search HumanSockPuppet’s Guide to Managing Your Bitches.

[–]QPRCHOC1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks for the link. Just read it. Interesting stuff, but as somebody who's still getting familiar with a lot of the themes here I, like many others I'm sure, find it quite harsh.

I've no doubt the information in that article is correct and valuable, but as somebody just getting into seeing women again, would you say it's necessary to make a few mistakes to see this stuff in a new light and begin employing TRP principles effectively?

[–]5639673252 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Get used to the harshness. Try to reduce your political-correctness, as it may be beta. I like being harsh and direct. Shows boldness. It's up to you but don't exaggerate with the mistakes. It may take time to get used to the advice.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

Its pretty good that - I would say that the transition HAS TO COME FROM HER

Remember she is seeking your commitement you cannot GIFT it to her or else it loses value.

You can build more emotional rapport (doing shit other than just fucking, cuddling after sex etc - but still dominant her in bed). You might get the 'so what are we talk' and thats her basically asking for a LTR and you can say yes or no. You dont want to ask her, she has to ask you.

[–]5639673251 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I may say something like it takes time for me to consider someone worthy of an LTR.

[–]QPRCHOC1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks for the heads up. Where does TRP stand on telling her you want to be exclusive?

[–]DforDeadpool1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

I look well, women show interest in me. But generally I'm just a low energy person who has little game (I used to do PUA stuff but now I'm just too rusted). What's the best way to obtain a good TRP game?

[–]MisterMisfit4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm like that, not the funny clown type but witty and charming, so I've been told. 90% of the time, meeting girls in the night scene doesn't work for me unless it's through a mutual friend. Tried day game and it's much better. Plus I found that girls you meet during the day are higher quality and are less likely to flake. The old man approach did wonders for me, but in order for it to work you have to follow through with rapport, there are no mystery method RSA bullshit routines. Try it, but YMMV.

[–]aiguo8882 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

What's the best way to obtain a good TRP game?

Drink some tea or coffee, listen to some good music to get you in the right vibe and hit some venues where you have music you like and the right people. Just chat up randoms (both guys and girls) with no expectations that they'll even be interested in talking to you, learn to make graceful exits when conversations fizzle and things will eventually become natural to you. Alcohol might help as well but don't make it your crutch.

Once you got that down you may or may not feel comfortable with chatting up randoms during the day as well.

I went from super introverted to somewhat extroverted that way, but it took some time. No skills worth developing tend to come overnight.

Also lifting and not jerking off like pyts said will definitely increase your confidence and energy level.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Game you get from experience. You need balls and you need to fail often. Two things helped me achieve better sexual energy: 1. Lifting 2. No jerking off.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Also, listen to some nice party music before you go out, get hyped up, sing to it, down a 5-hour energy. Lifting before you go out, as in 1-3 hours before you go out helps a lot. Lifting actually releases bound testosterone and makes you more aggressive. The key is to stimulate as many muscle fibers as possible.

[–]IAMAwhitecismaleAMA1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

What kind of shit tests do men throw at each other?

[–]recon_johnny1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Attacks masked as jokes or bullying attempts to see how alpha you are.

Not just this. It's to gauge how you'll react. Are you an 'oppression whore'? Do you give shit back, or do you sit and brood?

To me, they're more of a test to see if you're worthy of me giving more time/consideration to you. If you're a fuck, then no, I won't bother.

[–]IAMAwhitecismaleAMA1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you're a fuck,

Can you expand by what you mean if someone is "a fuck?"

[–]aiguo8885 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Attacks masked as jokes or bullying attempts to see how alpha you are.

[–]lJunKunl 2 points2 points [recovered] | Copy

I got 7 upvotes but no answer on an earlier thread for posting this question:

What about when you can generate some visual attraction, but don't know whether to be cold or hot enough? Have had girls weirded out that I tried too hard (friend zone or creepy) then on the other hand, girls who are even more weirded out when I don't show enough emotion (autistic or awkward). You can give attention but isn't it bad that it's only because she gave it first, i.e. you're desperate? But if you don't show attention you're uninterested? And how do you escalate to seeing eachother outside of class, work, gym etc.?

This is even worse when dealing with girls with boyfriends, who have been the majority of those attracted to me. Go too hard, your reputation is established as a weirdo for chasing a taken girl. Go too soft, your reputation is a beta.

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[–]lJunKunl 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

Thank you for your response.

Friend zone happens from not being alpha enough. Creepy happens for the same plus not attractive enough for her taste.

But I'm using examples where they were attracted first. It's unfortunate that you can lose being alpha for not being good enough beyond your looks.

You don't want to be a robot. Show emotions and show that you understand her emotions. The emotions to not generally show are serious anger or sadness, but you want her to feel your positive emotions, especially playful feelings.

Avoid anger and sadness, but if you're happy all the time you look like a clown. Can't show much passion or you look like a tryhard?

If you don't show anger towards your mates, you'll achieve doormat status quickly.

She will usually give some subtle attention first, like eye contact and smile type flirting. After that you want to be in control of the conversation and the one engaging.

So it's fine to respond well when you're fed attention?

You want a back and forth dynamic, where she is usually doing things back before you do something again. Don't be afraid of silence and eye contact.

When do I know when to engage without being given attention? Doesn't that take away the purpose of approaching in general?

You must read her, she will give signs that you're coming on too hard making her body language more uncomfortable, closed, and cold.

This is impossible because they're so fickle. I've gotten two girls with boyfriends in the passenger seat of my car (my car's nice and I find it annoying that they like it but I'm not sure what to do/feel about it). There isn't much escalation you can do without making it obvious because of the barrier in the middle, and conversation is typically stale and small-talk instead of amusement. And there's only a limit to how far you can go without her pulling the boyfriend card.

[–]5639673251 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Do you feel awkward when you approach? You should be comfortable with yourself and approach with a casual mindset and (idk if u use pickup lines) try not to use pickup lines (take this with a grain of salt cuz i have barely any experience).

[–] points points | Copy

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[–]5639673250 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You're welcome.

respond when someone is only coming at me for my looks.

Do you say thanks and ask what they're doing there, if they're having fun, where they're from, say your opinion about the place you're at, etc.? Do you approach by asking questions related to the place/moment (even if you already know the answer) to help get a conversation started?

[–]Bethefuture98 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy

Why do both men and women in the modern world, particularly living in the united States, think the path to success is to act more like a gorilla and less like a rational being?

[–]Endorsed ContributorScholarInRed0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My two cents is that it's a rational response to an irrational world. The same reason why some people who could be exceptionally good at their job instead do it quite well and focus the rest of their energy on office politics, buttering up the right people and avoiding contact with problem coworkers.

In an ideal world you'd get to the top by being great at your job. In the real world you do it by being good enough, and playing the political game at the same time.

[–]omega_fat5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

People are animals, and very irrational ones, both men and women. Overwhelming scientific evidence contradicts the arrogant idea that humans are oh soooooo special self actualizing ubermen/beings of pure spirit. Turns out, despite having massive frontal lobes capable of crazy math and wonderful strategy about 99% of decisions are made using the reptilian part of the brain, something that hasn't evolved at all in 500 million years. Do not think you are above that.

[–]Bethefuture91 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I completely agree that we are animals and as such I can say that I love taking the meat barge to tuna town as much as any guy. But I also think I see one thing you are missing. Rather than becoming easier to follow our nature as a human animal it is actually becoming harder. We are surrounded by thousands of years of collective knowledge and and technological achievement. further, it has never been easier to access such things. So why do I see a sudden trend towards becoming beefy gorilla bros and unshowered femigorillas everywhere I look?

[–]lucid80 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You got to understand that you can be a rational human animal, and deploy gorilla powers only when necessary. Nothing's wrong with having multiple tools in your toolbox.

21st century is going to be the time when technology, knowledge and understanding of human nature will become integrated. Just look at TRP, rise of popularity of the meditation, recent progress in the robotics, artificial limbs & AI.

[–]Bethefuture99 points10 points  (4 children) | Copy

If my delts get so big that my neck disappears, how much more pussy will I slay?

[–]Enlightened_Chimp2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Pussy yield % is proportional to the square root of delt size. I've verified this. Trust me, I'm a scientist.

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[–]Bethefuture90 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Right, I should change it to Sigmapussyslayer.

[–]redestofthereds0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Is it better to start approaching at bars that you normally don't go to than it is at bars you regularly go to?

[–]lucid81 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Don't shit where you eat, if you feel you don't have enough experience.

[–]redestofthereds1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

What kind of repercussions are their? I'll just be viewed as a weirdo that talks to girls at random?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Honestly, the whole creepy thing is literally the result of being fugly while approaching.

Even if you're not good looking, as long as you take care of yourself, while working to max out what your genes gave you with lifting/fashion/medical intervention (like braces)/lies (like thick heeled shoes with shoe lifts) you should be good to go and screw up as often as you like without developing a reputation. The only consistent crowd at a bar in a decently sized city are the bartenders.

So go and talk to girls, screw up a lot, try different things, learn from your mistakes, and try again. After you come home, go through all the interactions in your mind and see what you could have said/done differently in all the different situations. What were the shit tests that you passed/failed? What shit tests did you hand out? How did your kino go? What were the IOI's that you saw and how did they relate to what you did/said? Did you see any opportunities to isolate the girl and kiss her? etc.

Do what you need to do to get what you want.

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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I've found this to be the case as well. Taking care of yourself however isn't just taking a shower and picking out decent clothes to wear. It means progressively and actively doing things to make yourself better, the best you can get, and keeping yourself there.

You can get away with less, but it will detract from your appeal.

[–]redestofthereds0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Username checks out. I appreciate the motivation. I don't consider myself fugly by any means but I thought there would be some negative long term side effects in the long run if I approach where ever and whenever. Thanks again!

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[–]NotMyBestEffort0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

the trick is, Don't give a fuck! this takes actual Not Giving A Fuck! - even when she is so hot that your penis crawls towards your puckering asshole. Even when she listens to everything you say like you are announcing the final number of the lottery after matching the first five. You may just as well have never talked to her. Two billion more women on earth to give a trial membership in you to. IF YOU GIVE A FUCK - YOU WONT GET FUCKED - YOU ARE FUCKED

[–]Donny5770 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

  1. I've read How to Win Friends and Influence People, No More Mr. Nice Guy and The Rationale Male what other books do you guys read?

  2. I have no problem opening with women or speaking confidently but how do some of you guys close? It's been a problem as of lately.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"What Every Body is Saying" is a great compliment to how to win friends and influence people

[–]Dookiestain_LaFlair1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I recommend A Song Of Ice And Fire by George RR Martin. It teaches you how to deal with women like you are living in a medieval society. They want a knight in shining armor but you have to be like The Hound.

[–]bluejaguar121 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

  1. The way of men by Jack Donavan. The game by Neil Strauss

  2. My recommendation is to be more direct. Don't beat around the Bush. As in ask 'what's your number?' As opposed to 'can I get your number?' Or try to get her to offer it by asking 'how can we continue this conversation later?''. Don't linger. end the interaction while it's still going good. Maybe use a false time constraint.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You want to avoid asking. Tell her. Seriously, just pull your phone out with the contacts page open, hand it to her while saying something like "Hey, give me your number" And provide something you two can do when you do meet up after. I have always had smiles and good eye contact and never a bad reaction to this.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–]cociludzie0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

Hi Redpillers. I've read No More Mr Nice Guy and it is somehow about me. I just wanted to ask you where do you define a boundary between typical Nice Guy attention seeking actions and normal, socially accepted behaviour?

I just don't know exactly on what qualities is my subconscious driving my actions and how to recognize deeply rooted fear of rejection. Please share with me your thoughts.


[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

"Am I acting differently than I otherwise would just to please this person? Is my desire to please this person based on a rational expectation of some reward?"

If the answers are yes to the first and not to the second, then you are being a servile fool.

[–]sorceryofthetesticle[🍰] 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

That whole spiel hinges on what you understand to be a 'rational expectation.' Nice guy 'rational expectations' include logic like,"I buy this girl dinner, she sucks my dick later!" not gonna work

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Take the next step: how does the nice guy learn to puzzle it out? First he reads a book that details his failed mental model to him. Then he comes here and asks more experienced people where to draw the line. If he were still thinking that buying dinner carries a rational expectation of blowjobs, he wouldn't be here.

[–]sorceryofthetesticle[🍰] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Right, but op still has trouble differentiating between the two.

To the op, you have to be patient and put yourself in situations where you might repeat your nice guy behaviors (that is, go talk to women you want to fuck). That is the critical time where learning happens. If you've read the sidebar, you will eventually be aware of where you fucked up or if you did the right thing. You've got to find your own solution there.

[–]cociludzie0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

This is exactly what I struggle to learn. Now I know, that I should put more effort in incarnate redpill in daily life. Here, on reddit this is for me easy and obvious, but afk life verifies me as still blue.

Thank you all for your answers!

[–]sorceryofthetesticle[🍰] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Honestly, if you understand the narrative and know the terms, the only thing left is to go outside and do your life, and then come back and review every once in a while. You will start to see bits and pieces from what you've daily life, and that will build as you keep observing how people relate (including how you relate to others). There is a folk idea on trp that you have to be 100% effortful and aware of theory at all times to grow and it's bogus. Think about anything you've learned. Math, how to use a fork, driving, how to read... You learned all that shit through consistent practice. Sure, there was some intense theory-based awareness going on, but honestly 99% of your improvement came from involving yourself in the activity, doing it and then somehow understanding what works and doesnt work over time.

[–]lumberjackinla0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Can some one explain the difference being Dominant and being rigid with your opinion. When do you allow flexibility in your opinions to sticking with your opinion? Its a thin line between the two

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

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[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–]MajinMew24 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Trust your opinions until somebody that you respect gives you evidence to change them. I respect men who are able to change their view when presented with evidence far more than those who will argue purely for the sake of "being dominant". Change your opinion when you are convinced, not before and not after.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Holding to your opinions unless given good reasons to change them is part of frame, which is a prerequsite for dominance.

[–]TomilloDanup3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

For the past two years I've been working a lot on myself. Lifting 5 days a week, transformed my body (no masive muscles yet) picked up and amazing hobby and getting better at it. Finished my masters. Etc...

Still I don't feel as confident as I wished. Faking over confidence is a very intensive task for me. I'm no self defeating looser anymore but I still find it difficult to walk around the world feeling awesome.

Right now after those two years I want to start dating, meeting girls and fucking sluts. Yet I find it difficult to go just meet girls, aproach or even scalate my game lacks and sucks.

  1. To improve my game I know I just need to go do it, get out of my comfort zone. But how do I work up my self confidence not just for meeting women but for almost everything else that needs it?

[–]NotMyBestEffort1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

  • picture the difference between you before weights, hobbies, and education and you now. Once you have that gap in mind, picture your future, allowing for similar improvements in categories of your choosing. Having confidence in your own ability to enact personal improvements IS CONFIDENCE, its not fake and will IMPROVE with your quality work. I think you are looking too far ahead to find the person worthy of your own faith.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You improve it by testing it in the field over and over again. There's no substitute past a certain point: if you've fixed your body and your life, and have rationally accepted TRP, working out the kinks in your confidence is a matter of training.

[–]Revenge_Of_The_Jesus1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

How do I talk about myself without coming off as boastful, but still coming off as interesting?

Are European girls easier or harder to close with than American ones?

What's the best way to approach girls at a festival/on a dance floor if you're a shitty dancer?

[–]aiguo8880 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Are European girls easier or harder to close with than American ones?

Europe is pretty big with lots of different cultures.

Being American is a high value factor to lots of girls from poorer parts of Europe and interesting / exciting / exotic to western European girls.

Being from western Europe, I'd say the bitch shields are lower and I've been around way more American girls that were outright cunts, while girls in western Europe tend to tone it down a little.

[–]Dookiestain_LaFlair0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

If you want to learn how to dance, just watch Al Pacino in Scarface.

[–]Revenge_Of_The_Jesus0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Great, now my boss wants to kill me

[–]reckful9941 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You shouldn't explicitly be talking about yourself. Just as is the case with great literature, don't simply say who you are; SHOW who you are. Which would hold more weight to you? If somebody were to say they are confident and strong, or if you saw them partner dance with a woman very well.

"European" and "American" are too broad of categories for that question to get a meaningful answer.

If you are a shitty dancer or are self conscious about your dancing, and for some reason insist on staying that way, you probably wont be super successful with women at festivals or dance floors.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

Long time lurker here. So I've been hitting the gym like a madman over the past month doing two a day cardio sessions (1st Question: is this a good strategy or am I wasting my time) but I am lost when it comes to adding in weights/lifting. What kind of lifting can I do to maximize my weight loss? Love this subreddit btw.

[–]NotMyBestEffort1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The best thing you can pick up is a steady exercise habit. Emphasis on s t e a d y. Find something (someone) that will keep you going back. Second best is a book on food and nutrition.... okay, find good advice online I'm a bit older...

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

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[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Weight loss is exclusively a matter of caloric deficit, so the first place to look is your diet. Lifting can help you lose less muscle as you lose weight, and if it increases your muscle mass it will raise your basal metabolism, but by itself it won't do much. Diet.

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[–]JimmyJiangh0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Imo, kino isn't that important and a lot can go wrong. What is important is to generate sexual tension, which is what kino does overtly.

If you give the girl a hug greeting and generate sexual tension throughout the date, it's easy to go for the make out or bring her back without doing awkward kino touch moves. It's always better to communicate covertly than overtly with women.

[–]pcadrian 4 points4 points [recovered] | Copy

When is right time to kino?

As soon as you meet. My dates are always coffee dates or going for walks, always close to my campus, and I always start with a hug (I escalate much slower than most guys here, and I never do bars - bars are fucking stupid). It's funny how many women extend their hand for a handshake, and are surprised when I hug them. Is that good or bad? Doesn't matter.

Next, as you walk them through doors, put your hand on their lower back and guide them through the door. Same if walking through a more crowded place.

So now you're sitting at a table somewhere, chatting. Whenever making a point, or teasing her, touch her hand or arm briefly with yours, then withdraw.

I recommend you get some version of the app 36 questions. Go over it with her, but after a question or two, invite her to sit by you. She's close now, so naturally every time you show her the next question, you are going to have your arm on her back. As she gets more comfortable, pull her in. See how she reacts.

Months after our first date, my girl told me she thought that was very bold, me putting my arm around her like that. She also told me it felt really good.

There you go, the beginning of "kino."

[–]Wel1080 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Great tip on the app. I already had set questions I memorized that I simply like to ask, but it's good to mix it up and have an activity

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

Kino should start quickly, but accelerate slowly.

DiCarlo Ladder Concise and Emphasized

-Eye contact is key at outset

-Under each class first points are incidental, second are overt

Class 1

  • Shaking hands, tapping on shoulder, touching to emphasize points, high five

  • Holding hands, arm in arm escorting

Class 2

  • Legs touching while standing and sitting, brushing abdomen while talking, touching back with palm while pulling in

  • Hugging, escorting with hand on back, putting her legs over yours while sitting, holding her tummy on the side while sitting and talking, placing her hand on your thigh

Class 3

  • Brushing something off her face, talking while touching her face to yours because loud etc, touching necklace, pinching cheeks
  • Placing head on your shoulder, smelling her neck, stroking face with finger looking in her eyes, running fingers through hair looking in eyes, holding side of her neck looking in eyes

Brief points to remember:

  • Touch to emphasize points, brush abdomen while talking, touch back while walking, brush something off face, pinch cheeks. When seated: put her legs over yours, hold her tummy on the side, place her hand on your thigh. Place head on shoulder, smell neck, stroke face, run fingers through hair, hold side of neck.

Ramp, to be done in an isolated location:

  • Kissing from close, move in as to kiss then pull away to say something else, builds tension. Place finger under her chin and pull mouth towards.
  • Kiss neck gently while holding her close, possible biting.
  • After kissing mouth & neck, move hands under her shirt on her back.
  • Move hand to front under shirt, lift her shirt, lift your shirt as well and touch abdomens.
  • Start kissing abdomen with shirt exposed, along sides and move up. Gauge if can move toward breasts.
  • If kissing body position in-between legs so midsection rubs against vagina. If kissing mouth position thigh to stimulate vagina. Can also plant hand on bed below her, using forearm to stimulate vagina.
  • Slip hand inside panties and touch naked ass. Move hand all the way down and reach vagina. Start touching area around it. Finger from behind.
  • Undo front of pants with other hand. Move to the front, use “come-hither” motion pulling forward on front wall.
  • Keep fingering while removing pants.

Notes: Higher rungs unlock lower rungs of classes. Do not start ramp with intention to finish later.

[–]cockstantino1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Where do I find more of this kind of detail on outer game with no BS? TRP is great for inner game but information like this, I've never seen before

[–]QQ_L2P1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

How in the fuck do you interact and be friends with other guys? A lot of it seems to be insulting each other as much as possible, but I just seem to not get it.

Also, dealing with groups of people. I'm OK in a one-on-one scenario and am OK in one-on-two conversations, but anything larger than that I get lost. There are so many strings going on with people jumping in and out seemingly at random and trying to process and keep up with it is both difficult and exhausting. I guess it's something that comes with practice but is there anything specific I should be doing?

[–]omega_fat1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's not insulting, it's reasonably friendly banter. Manly talk. Find ways to laugh at the expense of others, take a joke yourself and not be a little bitch about it. Men shit test each other all the time, not just women.

[–]Papahoff250 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Used to have this problem(the group dynamic), best thing to do is chime in while you can and enjoy the rest. Speak confidently and make sure you're heard.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

The other day I was sitting with strangers (meetup). One guy was obnoxiously loud and trying to take control of the entire conversation. Trying to be funny and all that.

I thought to myself, he looks like a joke! I mean, his behaviors.

On the other hand, he's good looking (as far as I can tell) and in good shape.

My first thought was, he must've been reading RP material and trying to be the alpha male of the group.

Is that what alpha looks like? Loud and obnoxious?

[–]PotentialAlpha0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

So I went out to baseball game with my buddy and his girlfriend, who brought her friend who showed a bunch of interest.

I've been following TRP principles but she is playing the female version of TRP with me. I sent her a text last Thursday night but she didn't respond until Saturday morning. Below is what happened:

me 9:05pm Thursday- Hey gangster, hows the thug life?

her 9:00am Saturday- Sorry. I'm a bad texter...

her 9:01am Saturday- What are you up to this weekend?

I didn't reply to her text and my question is do I even reply at all? I was thinking something like "Hey I'm going out for drinks at XX tonight, see you there" on Saturday evening. Would this work? any recommendations?

[–]1ItsTheHomeWrecker0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–]SekretSkwirrel1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I would tell her the cool stuff I'm doing this weekend and then say "we should hang out soon."

If she replies in the affirmative then you just say "Meet me at X place at X time on X day"

If she does not respond, I next (and she can make the next move if she wants).

If she responds but does not respond in the way I would like I say "Okay gotcha" and next (and she can make the next move if she wants).

The important thing is to make your intent clear and put the ball in her court if she does not comply.

[–]ApexScorpion-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Quick question.

It was my cousin's "girlfriend" birthday last weekend. We went out clubbing.

4 guys and 3 girls in all. Of course she was drunk. The whole night she was making her rounds to all of us when it came to "dancing". Out if the blue she would touch my face and chest, I saw it as moderate kino. She did the same thing with the two guys I was with.


She never danced on me (grinding and all that shit), and she never reached for my dick, which I consider heavy kino. I was tipsy but luckily I caught myself from indulging like she was another girl at the club. Same kino story from the others also.

I took it as her just having a good time while drunk and trying to have simple fun within the group we had. I let my cousin know this at the end of the night, as he was oblivious from drinking also at the time.

My question this considered a red flag?

[–]1ItsTheHomeWrecker4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–]rhettbutler-rpaf11 points12 points  (3 children) | Copy

How deep does the rabbit hole go?

Women were not allowed to vote in the United States until 1920. In the 1800's unmarried women were not allowed to own property or attend public universities. Women were banned from attending the dedication of the statue of liberty.

Were these policies illogical? Unjust? Or were they just a reflection the reality that women should not be involved in these matters, because among other problems, they operate based on emotion rather than logic?

I am not trolling. This thread finally gave me a chance to ask this.

[–]larrythetomato7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

Women are much more emotional than men, and men are very emotional beings.

The 1800s with the legitimate discrimination of women is likely to be a relic of the past, in the past you had to maximise efficiency: women can't die because if you lose too many, your tribe will perish. Towards the 1700s-1900s, smart women were able to navigate the landscape, attaching themselves to powerful men and using that to gain influence.

As the productivity of humans increased, you can have a larger proportion of people not directly contributing to survival (ie. farming/hunting/guarding), allowing things like investment in capital and science. These things can only flourish with freedom, so the natural course is for this freedom to extend to as many people as possible. This means that it extends from only leaders, to men, to women, to children (to animals)...

A side note is that these things are based through natural selection: societies which are free allow all the people who can create wealth to flourish, making society wealthy and powerful. A single society will not necessarily progress towards freedom, but be conquered (either violently, militarily or economically, depending on the era) by those who are.

That's the abridged history. Societies that had patriarchy dominated those without. Freer societies (ie, 'British Empire', 'Great War America'), conquered others.

women ... operate based on emotion rather than logic?

I'll tell you a secret. Everyone operates on emotion rather than logic. Everyone. Humans work by making the decision first, then thinking up reasons later.

People reading my passage will have one of two reactions, either because they already agree, everything will make sense and kind of just click. Or if you disagree, then you will either dismiss everything, or go through and pick out logical/historical inaccuracies. But this is the point, the reasons for disagreeing come later. When you really understand this, most of society will make sense. Unlike reason, emotions don't lie.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

another question:

How did you gain this knowledge about

The 1800s with the legitimate discrimination of women is likely to be a relic of the past, in the past you had to maximise efficiency: women can't die because if you lose too many, your tribe will perish. Towards the 1700s-1900s, smart women were able to navigate the landscape, attaching themselves to powerful men and using that to gain influence.

As the productivity of humans increased, you can have a larger proportion of people not directly contributing to survival (ie. farming/hunting/guarding), allowing things like investment in capital and science. These things can only flourish with freedom, so the natural course is for this freedom to extend to as many people as possible. This means that it extends from only leaders, to men, to women, to children (to animals)...

because it clicks with me

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[–]1ItsTheHomeWrecker1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–]trinitys_dildo5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I obviously can't talk to them like my male friends and we don't ever share any interests so I just feel lost

It's not just the interests that are different. It's the end goals.

When you talk with one of your buddies you are trying to figure out something or explain something cool you did/saw (e.g. rebuilt an engine). The end goal is just to hang with your buddy and share experiences.

With girls you are both trying to hook up so there is a different dynamic. It becomes about power. Most (normal) women want a higher value man they can submit to, admire and be dominated by. So with girls your job is to be this man. There are a few "models" for this (e.g. "daddy", bad boy) but ultimately it comes down to having meta conversations involving feelings rather than direct conversations about ideas and things like you do with your male buddies

[–]Wel1080 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You can talk to her like your male friends. In fact you should, Be cocky, tell her about exciting stories. Ask questions of substance, not what's your favorite color. Find what she's passionate about and let her talk etc

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[–]futuretrackstar 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

I've noticed a pattern when abstaining from ejaculations, you get super horny at the one week mark, then at about week 2 and 3 your libido kinda goes down... But then after 3 full weeks and after a month you just feel full... of cum. i've also found myself acting more aggressively, I have more energy, and every time I get close to the one month mark I have trouble sleeping. I actually think I'm more motivated after abstaining for a while; you go to the mall and you get turned on just from looking at girls walking around.

[–]TheDonald2k162 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Has anyone here ever seen a post-wall woman in denial, acting like she isn't post wall, is hot shit, and is still entitled to high value men?

[–]Endorsed Contributorsqerl6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes. I'll introduce you to my ex... and a couple others I know. Post-wall isn't a destination they bought a ticket to. It's a realization which hits hard long after the fact.

[–]ZippyTheSpaceMonkey0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

What's PowerTalk? Can you provide an example or two?

[–]Modredpillschool[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

[–]ZippyTheSpaceMonkey0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you. And thanks for all the hard work you put into this sub.

[–]truthyego12 points13 points  (8 children) | Copy

I don't care enough to bother with women, or even much with people anymore. I can meet women, get dates, get laid. I'm ok at it, not great. But it's been awhile since I've even bothered to try much. I mostly only bother with easy shit that basically falls in my lap. Im confident I could get good, but I don't give enough fucks to spend the effort.

I have other things that are more important than spending time with vapid sloots, or even calmer less slutty women. I like to fuck, but I don't care for 90% of the other shit. I realize there are overtones of depression here, but I am motivated and making progress towards other goals. I occasionally get laid here and there.

Anyone else feel the same way? Or any of u who are really good with women reach a point where you dgaf, not enough even to play the game anymore?

Note, this not a "I don't have much success so gave up" rant. It's a "I've had some decent success but doesn't seem worth the effort or time wasted" rant.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Something about here seems a bit off. If the end goal is just sex with no LTR or children (many here advocate getting oneself permanently sterilized (vasectomy)) then how is it different from using escorts?

Why is pointless sex (no LTR, no children) with sluts better than using escorts?

[–]truthyego1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Free vs paid

Legal vs illegal

Pleasure vs business

Developing as a man vs using a crutch

Also, are u religious? step out of your religious box

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

are u religious?

No, but spent the majority of my life being one

[–]graffix131 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm kind of in the same boat. I recently got out of a 6+ LTR and at first I was excited to get "back into the game" but now I'm just not really interested in the effort or putting up with the shit tests women love to give. Getting laid is great, but I've got other stuff I like to do with my free time as well.

[–]TheDonald2k167 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

Like people have said, women are a side effect, not the end game or the goal. There is nothing wrong with wanting to accomplish or achieve other goals and put women to the side as you work towards doing so. My theory is if you have goals you want to accomplish, remove any distractions or obstacles until you achieve your goal. If women are a distraction or obstacle, toss them to the side.

At the same time you have to be careful - don't hamster away and use "goals" as an excuse to not game women. Be honest with yourself. Are you actually trying to accomplish a goal and are discarding women until you do so, or are you just afraid and using "goals" as a smokescreen to avoid women?

[–]antariusz2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I took an opposite approach to most people on this forum. Back about 9 years ago, when I was a 24 year old virgin.

I made women my goal. Not pleasing women or putting women on a pedestal (that came later and was easily squashed once I found the redpill). But instead trying to figure out women. And to somehow find out how I could bring benefit my life with women. With a triple digit n-count and dozens of short term relationships, I finally started to understand women. (Or at least insomuch as I think I am able to)

There are benefits to having women around. Figure out how you could gain benefit from women and you'll have desire to be around women again.

Women are not a bi-product of me having a happy life, they are part of the picture of what makes me happy. It's nice coming home and having I love you notes waiting for me on a made bed with my laundry done and dishes washed and food waiting for me in the fridge. Sure, you could pay a maid service to do those same things for you, but I also enjoy the validation I get from having someone do those things for me simply because of how awesome I've made myself. (Not because of how awesome I am, because men have zero intrinsic value, but instead I have worked to improve myself enough to where multiple women are willing to compete to be with me)

I provide women with adventure, they provide me with comfort. They also provide me with sex. I'm a big fan of sex. A really big fan of sex. Probably more so than any guy claiming not to make women a goal.

The important difference is that I make having "women" a part of my life, no one woman completely controls my heart not is that ever even possible, but there are lots of women that can make my life better by being involved.

Just like vacations can be better with friends, they can also be better with women.

[–]truthyego1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

All good points. To be honest, getting great at game is something I know I have to do. Not just for easy access to pussy (which minimizes time investment and "effort" required, both good things), but equally because it will benefit my psyche and personality across the board.

I've been saying to myself that 180lbs at 10% bf is my entrance criteria. I'm close, 180lbs at about 13%. And within 90lbs of the 1000 club.

It's not fear disuading me, its knowing that I'll have to delay some other major (unrelated) goals for the next 6-9 months for something seemingly so trivial. It's not trivial, it will actually help my other goals long term, but it seems that way. Little time vampires.

I'm hoping that some of this dgaf attitude will clear up as I progress... or maybe it will get worse lol.

[–]rigbyismyhomie1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

Can I learn to be witty? If so, how?

[–]Self-elected_trainer3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Attractive people are perceived witty. Unattractive people are perceived awkward.

[–]NotMyBestEffort0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

full of wit and full of shit are slight differences in nuance. Be willing to be full of shit and you know you are close

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lots of practice. Stephen colbert is king of wit

[–]Endorsed ContributorThotwrecker12 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy

The better question is what role does wittiness actually play in sexual attraction, and why do you want to be "witty".

It's a fiction that you need to have grade-A James Bond lines and "daaammmn" comebacks for every situation. That is like a beta conception of what "alpha" looks like, and it's why you see alphas written by comic book nerds / male-fantasy TV shows always being so smooth and witty. It's not actually that helpful, and often trying to be witty or snappy with your words will make you look like a try hard.

Better than trying to be witty or funny or charming is just learning to be authentic, relaxed, comfortable in your own skin. Comfortable enough to say something that's not that smart.

Because when you're not being witty, it shows that you're not TRYING to sound clever or smart, you're not trying to funny or humorous or seeking a reaction.

Wit is only helpful if it is truly effortless, and effortless wit often just happens when you start to become amused and comfortable. Appreciating the innate ridiculousness of sexual / mating dynamics, and just having a sense of humor about shit tests and the stupid shit chicks do - without judging it or being angry - will help you develop wit. It's similar to how comedians go through their day with an open mind, trying to extract the innate humor in day-to-day life.

[–]rigbyismyhomie1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

This might have been the best advice I've ever received on here, thank you. I spent the last few hours thinking about your question, and this is what I came up with.

I want to be witty because I am not the best conversationalist. I'm working on it by putting myself in more situations where I'm talking to people, actively trying to be more present in conversations, and letting go of any negative self-talk that is distorting my view of how things really are. Of course I want those skills to transfer over, but I think my underlying goal behind wanting to be more witty is learning to be more likeable. It's validation seeking, I know, but I'm going through the first time in my life where I don't have status and it's been more of a detriment than I thought it would be.

TLDR I want to be witty because I think it will lead to me becoming more likeable, which will increase my social status and make the game as easy as its been my whole life.

[–]redpillbrazil0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Spend 6 months reading all sorta of books, from all to the classics to, freud \ nietzsche, NLP even things like the fibonacci sequence, the more knowledge you gain from reading, the more interesting things you will have to talk about, when that subject shows up and you speak about it with confidence cause you studied it you will see what I mean, studying interesting stuff will open a new world of possibilities for a person, if you stick to just working on money, lifting, and hobby's you are only treating 1 side of the sphere, game comes from real life experiences plus studying, so the best advice is spend the next 6 months studying your ASS OFF on every single subject you find interesting, I MEAN YOU FIND, because it will also be something deep from your essence and you will be more into it, good luck bro on your journey!

ps: if you want a few books (not about the manosphere, but other stuff) I will give you a good list to start with

[–]stejul 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

How does one improve to be more machiavellian?

[–]larrythetomato0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Learn about morality, how it is flexible and how to justify what you have chosen, to be the only righteous option.

[–]stejul 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

Thank you for the advice. Are there any books where I could learn more about it, or does everything come from morality. (I'm not a native speaker, so I don't know if I the last sentence is correctly.)

[–]larrythetomato0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I know many English resources that are pretty high level English, depending on your level they might make no sense.

For now, grab autobiographies of controversial people and understand their decision making.

[–]TheRationalMale.comRollo-Tomassi12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

You can bring your theory question to me live this morning if you'd like:

Starts in about 15 minutes.

[–]Kingofmyworld9090 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

If i'm put into a situation where my opinion is asked for about some controversial topic, should I hide my true opinions (given that I no longer believe in BP shit like supporting feminism, marriage (at least with respect to the status quo), etc.) from those that make up my social circle or even acquaintances / strangers?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There are ways to express disagreement while at the same time refusing to get into an argument.

Like, "Hm, I don't know about that". If they ask why, you can say "it's complicated, I'd rather not discuss it".

[–]Endorsed ContributorThotwrecker4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

The trick is to always appear non-judgmental and cool and comfortable with what you think, and avoid rustling feathers needlessly. For example, if a girl is going on about how it's wrong that girls are judged for having sex, and it's a double standard, blah blah, I'll just agree & amplify. If it's a girl I've banged, I'll be like "yeah, you should be able to feel damn proud about that shit you did last night. Damn proud." If it's a random girl / girl I haven't banged yet, I'll say "Yeah girls can be pimps too" or something that's obviously not really taking her seriously, but not disagreeing.

Generally that's what you want to do - not take it seriously, interpret it as a fun conversation. I always portray a nonjudgmental character to girls so that they feel nonjudged for getting slutty and feeling sexual. This opens them up and then I get at the info they usually try to hide, which is an added bonus.

[–]Kingofmyworld9090 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for your solution, I do think it'll help a lot (granted I can maintain frame).

I've been caught in situations that I inevitably fail and the conversation dips. I think it's just my lack of inexperience, and I end up getting caught up in myself which causes the conversation or whatever it is to collapse. It doesn't help that I'm sociopathic, although I'm sure my nature can be helpful once I've gained experience and momentum in a&a and other techniques to endure shit tests.

[–]TheDonald2k160 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Think as you like, behave like others.

Sometimes its best to remain silent on some matters no matter how strongly you feel. Look at the big picture.

[–]Kingofmyworld9090 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I appreciate the response.

xD I hear you. Jackie Chan meme is my goto for some of the stuff I hear people say on the daily (although I usually just keep it to myself). I guess it's my frame slipping when i spend more time than I'd hope trying to rationalize (especially with women). Logic is a gift and a curse.

[–] points points | Copy

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[–]Endorsed Contributorsqerl1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Best friend of many years. Scrawny shit bag prior to college. Went to college and started lifting, got a tan, and made money. Fucker got laid all the time. Wifed up a few years ago. His wife hates all his stories but he was quite the stud. Don't let height hold you back. Only you hold you back.

[–]Nucka574 3 points3 points [recovered] | Copy

Fairly New RPer here.

I am coming to understand that getting more women or becoming Chad/DT isn't the goal of RP as many would believe. RP teaches men to the the best possible man they can. Getting women is a side-effect of being fucking awesome.

Women are like dogs, they don't always get taken on walks but when they do they are very excited about it. Let them sniff around and piss where they want, but in the end you are the one holding the leash making them heel. If they are good, you give them a bone, if they aren't you don't pay attention to them.

Are there flaws in my understanding?

[–]antariusz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, you're understanding is flawed.

TRP is a sub you can go to to become more DT/Chad and/or have sex with more women.

Becoming more awesome and self improvement is how most people here go about getting more women.

Also, your understanding of the dog analogy is very basic, at best. Training a woman is much like training a dog, positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement, they both work. Don't be disappointed when she behaves as is natural for her (decides to get petted by another man, you'd be wrong to be jealous of the man, or think the dog betrayed you, she wouldn't even realize she was doing something wrong unless she had been trained to only accept pets in certain situations like the bomb sniffing dogs working at an airport).

[–]tb876700 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Do not insult dogs, man's best friend, by comparing them to women. Dogs have loyalty with no strings attached.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Women are not like dogs, women are like women. They play their game, you play yours. You can play together, you can play alone. Life is game. And there is no god. There is no meaning. But it could be fun. Could be not.

[–]trpthrowaway0010 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

How do I go about picking up girls at a bar when all my friends have girlfriends? No one else is interested in girls there and we always just end up sitting at a table bored and drinking, it kinda makes it hard to get that predator mentality. Don't go? Just get up and walk up to girls? Find new friends?

[–]dissentforall0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My old roommates would always drag me out on their outting and it ended up being mostly couples. Id tolerate it until I got a buzz and then would just get up and leave. If they ask you where you're going, just tell them outright with a shit eating grin. You'll get a mix of shaming and support, eventually the shame stops and some of the girls of the group will actually want to help wingman for you (don't let them but it's a nice change). You can use that with the women you're approaching aswell, tell them the couple's were boring you and you needed to find someone interesting (again with cocky grin). If she likes you then you can just lead into more questions from there with the intention of getting her to qualify herself to you.

[–]trinitys_dildo1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just get up and walk up to girls

Definitely do this, even if you keep failing when you start out.

No one else is interested in girls there and we always just end up sitting at a table bored and drinking

Take the lead. Ask one of the more fun couples if they want to play pool. Then find a random hot girl in the bar and tell her you need a pool partner. Start teasing her immediately that she better be a good pool player or she'll be letting you down.

Build on this by teasing the couple during the game. Ask them how "married life" is and groan and roll your eyes at every answer they give. Etc

[–]PoorlyTimedPun0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ask your friends girlfriends to wing man for you.j

[–]TheDonald2k160 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Who or what is holding you back from approaching other women at said bar you go to with your friends?

[–]trpthrowaway0011 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

They're often in big groups / I'm anxious af

Edit: this one time I approached 2 girls who were way out of my league and somehow I held their attention. Even my single, higher SMV friends just chilled at the table til a group of bros with this like 7ft tall guy came in and scooped them up. I got their numbers later but it was most likely out of pity imo and it still makes me cringe how I did it. Any advice for basically getting out SMV'd?

[–]trinitys_dildo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

this one time I approached 2 girls who were way out of my league and somehow I held their attention

good job. Keep doing this no matter what

...a group of bros with this like 7ft tall guy came in and scooped them up

don't worry keep approaching

Any advice for basically getting out SMV'd?

raise your SMV. Read the sidebar for instructions on how to do this

[–]razgrim2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

I'm running into a bit of a conflict with TRP and game, and I want to get that resolved.

To start, TRP tells us how to be (attractive) men. Lift, Stoicism, be socially active, maintain a great diet, improve constantly. Now for game - we need to accept ourselves, be happy with who we are, own our shit. We need this to have a congruent personality, because women have a sense for fakes and head for the hills when they see one.

There's contradiction here. I don't think most guys are going to be happy as the manly man who lifts, plays sports, eats strictly protein all day, takes cold showers, gets up at 5am. Let's face it, a lot of this manly shit isn't fun, isn't comfortable.

As for me, I used to be a geek. I'd play video games all day, watch netflix, catch up on my favorite shows. After 6 months of TRP, I've quit video games entirely, never have any time to watch shows. I do martial arts, airsoft, read, social activities, cook all my meals. I'm an entirely different person now. And I miss playing games, ordering take out. But I know that if I touch my old pleasures again, it's a relapse, a failure of my integrity.

Soo what, do we force ourselves to be the manly man regardless? Perhaps I have yet to come to terms with that identity, am I supposed to grow into loving cold showers, strict diet and lifting?

This RP journey has brought me out of a very dark place and a negative spiral. I've had days of happiness I haven't experienced in years. This strict self discipline though.... I feel like I'm in a different prison now, forcing myself to be someone I'm not.

Oh, also: We're supposed to be calm, stonefaced, and stoic, yet live each moment fully, heartfelt with excitement. Are there times to be one or the other? Are these different strategies? It's quite impossible to be both at the same time.

[–]JimmyJiangh0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I genuinely enjoy lifting and self improvement. You don't have to take cold showers everyday.

[–]redpillbrazil1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You don't need to love cold showers, diet and lifting buddy; but if you DO, i mean if you LEARN how to appreciate all these things, than you will fucking own it.

[–]trinitys_dildo3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I feel like I'm in a different prison now, forcing myself to be someone I'm not

Sounds like you have made massive changes in a very short time. It's no wonder you feel like this.

It's harder as an adult to make habits. The Spartans were started on this shit when they were little boys.

Keep at it.

We're supposed to be calm, stonefaced, and stoic, yet live each moment fully, heartfelt with excitement. Are there times to be one or the other? Are these different strategies?

No they aren't different strategies. You might be misunderstanding what stoic means. I'm imagining you struggling with a false dichotomy of "brooding warrior intellectual" vs "happy puppy who's glad to see everybody and wants to play all the time"

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Life is not fun and you're not supposed to be happy. Life is struggle.

[–]PoorlyTimedPun6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your over thinking the fuck outta this man. Read your post, "days of happyness I haven't experienced in years", "i feel like a different person now"...sounds like you are and you recognize the payoff but your gerbiling your way out of it, convincing yourself that your "forcing yourself to be someone your not". Ok do you really wanna go back to being a lazy out of shape fuck? I doubt it it. The video games and take out are mini shots of dopamine that your craving...indulge once in a while but realize that's what it is and how easy it is to get addicted to that shit. The RP has helped you get out of a depression, stop overthinking. Calm stonefaced and stoic in the face of adversity and shit tests. Live and be and do anything you want to have fun and enjoy every moment of life when your not in these moments.

[–]TheDonald2k162 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

When it comes to a diet, you set the end goal you have in mind(weight, body fat %) and do what it takes to get there. How quickly you get there is up to you. If you want to take a day off from your diet every now and then, there is nothing wrong with that, if you are OK with it taking longer to reach your goal.

That applies to everything else, moderation.

I don't think I will ever grow to love dieting and eating a high protein diet. But I understand its necessary to achieve my goals. Look at the big picture.

[–]PoorlyTimedPun0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Don't have a real specific question but more looking for general advice. I had alpha traits and gamed the wrong woman, had a baby with her and beta'd the fuck out for a year or two and she left me. I've been on this red pill journey for the last year and after getting my shit in order (job, mission, lifting, weight loss and the depedestalization of the pussy) and its starting to pay dividends. As a kid growing up I was lazy as fuck so had to rely purely on game and personality to get pussy, now at 30 in the best shape of my life it's paying double. My question(s) are advice for single dads? I have 2 daughters the older one is not mine biologically but I've been in her life for half of her existence and her bio dad is shit. How much do I stay in her life (torn about raising someone else's fuck trophy when I'm not even with her mom)? Advice on fucking 18 year olds? Maintaining frame with my ex who gets the fuck under my skin with her shit mothering, awalt, shit family, (i need to pass these shit tests)? Navigating plates with my kids, do I hide this stuff from them? Obviously not trying to bring a bunch of whores around them, and they are kinda the perfect go to for kicking girls out, not staying the night, if I'm busy fucking other plates....etc etc They also kill my chances with a lot of women, do I just not mention them to the early 20's hb7/8/9's? I'm I going to only attract single moms, women who are baby hungry, and 18 year olds with daddy fantasies?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

If you have a great relationship with a kid that you love don't ruin that because someone on an internet forum said to. There's a lot of anger and resentment on here and a lot of dubious advice. While I wouldn't recommend getting involved with children that aren't yours, this girl is your daughter's sister and I'm assuming she sees you as a father figure already.

[–]PoorlyTimedPun0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for saying this. Its exactly what I needed to hear.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What you call 'beta'd the fuck out' probably not 'beta male behaviour' but your real father instincts which were awakened. The problem is your women's mother instincts didn't awaken.

Also distance from your ex. Don't spend energy there. Minimize interactions if you're both co-parenting you need to tunnel all interaction to this particular kid raising.

Since you've got daughters and not sons and daughters have better EIQ you should talk with them and explain where you are and what are you problem then you need to switch to create some household enterprise with your own kid (so basically 'hire your own daughters')

This way all of you learn somethings at least they learn how to get their shit together. You would make money together and all of you would have a space for hobbies and etc.

It's shitty to be a single parent but if you create 'household enterprise' I guess it would be pretty ok. If your kids are a little dim then you need expand their abilities - give them easy supporting jobs then help them grow.

You would have more time for lifting/having sex and date life and your kids would actually become better people. I think this is win-win.

[–]lumberjackinla0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

how to learn to be dominant. can some one talk about how to be social ly dominant

[–]5639673250 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe instead of asking them to do stuff and saying please, just tell them to do it like a command. Take this with a grain of salt cuz its just an idea.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dominance could be practiced through holding the frame. Every time you're not playing by their rules, don't go down to their game and etc. - you dominating them.

[–] points points | Copy

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[–]5639673250 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Make rules. Don't allow yourself to play videogames or whatever until you've read a chapter of whatever.

[–]tb876700 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe lack of dopamine. Without dopamine you can do something great and get minimal incentive-chemicals pushed into your brain, same as if you didn't do anything special. This creates lack of incentive obviously. NALT is a dietary supplement that is cheap, try that see if it helps. Some people just make less dopamine than they should naturally or their diet doesn't allow for much to be made, it's very popular with lifters where I'm at and they want to hit the gym even more. Helps me a lot since after a few hard knocks to my head apparently my brain chemistry has been altered.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

  1. Find more interesting activity.
  2. Remove carbs. That will do the work.

[–][deleted] 0 points0 points | Copy

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[–]_fappycamper0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

I live at home with my parents (27yo). This has been a big Hangup for me mentally. It makes me feel like a loser, and is always on my mind when speaking to girls. Aside from moving out, how can I fight this? I've heard of dudes in their 40s not giving a flying fuck about these things and walking in hot girls home straight past mom's bedroom.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

  1. Stop giving a fuck.
  2. In order to stop giving a fuck create some excuse or maybe even 'no cause' - you live with your parents you got extra cash - save it.

So now you are not living with your parents because you too needy or because you too lazy to move out, no! Now you saving money for mortgage! For not being a slave in the future! Sounds great. So that's the plan.

[–]_fappycamper0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Yea that is the reason I'm doing that. Saving up to start a business, but still feel it weighing down on me internally.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you aren't paying any rent at all, start doing that. I'm 28 live with mom.. Pay like $400 a month on bills because I refuse to give $$ to a landlord when I can instead help my mom. Sticking around until I can buy a house

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy

1) I've been grounded most of this year so i haven't texted chicks too much because there's no reason to if I can't set up a fuckdate, since I can't leave the house. So not texting very often has made me rusty . how caniI improve my text game? (Texting is essential at my age, teen chicks love texting. I still don't text too much even when I wasn't grounded)

2) how do i learn more comfort game? Women are pretty useless to me besides sex, so I don't get too interested in them besides sex. And I don't give a fuck about losing them, and girls can kinda pick up on it.

3) what are the best redpill pua sites, like heartiste? A lot of PUA sites are filled with good info but also BP faggot shit.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

1) Practice 2) Read the sidebar 3) TheRedPill. You're already there. Congratulations!

[–]Rredpillaccount0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Okay so I've been reading up on this sub the past week, and have come to the harsh reality of how true TRP is. Started applying some tips I found here and before you know it I got this chicks number like nothing. Now this weekend I want to kick it with her but I really don't want to go out with her or anything, really just trying to smash, how should I go about this one? Got my own place and all, but both of us are college freshman so we can't go to any bars.

[–]5639673250 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

What tips did you apply? Curious.

[–]Rredpillaccount0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

The only response to my question, I told her to come over, that I'd make dinner and we can have a few drinks, she then proceeded to apologize profusely for already having plans, while I didn't get laid it's still a win cause I know I have her chasing me now based off of the interactions we've since had.

[–]5639673250 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Isn't it beta to make her dinner or am I exaggerating?

[–]Rredpillaccount0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I thought the same thing at first and it very well may be true, however due to a lack of money or being able to drink at a bar I focused on what I thought would work, never asked her just told her to come over, haven't really kept up conversations through text, but the texts made it clear what my intentions are, my overall goal is to have her coming after me cause I'm there, then I'm not, make sense? Always open to different viewpoints though so keep the opinions coming!

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Cook a dinner then put your dirty hand in her underpants. Good luck.

[–]2ndLion0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I need some advice/examples for nightclub/bar game; With some girls I can talk utter bullshit and have fun, but forget to escalate - How can I do that verbally. Is telling a girl shortly after you've met her "you're going home With me" too offensive? Any good topics to talk about with majority of girls? I always end up With not much to say: either she keeps talking about the same Thing over and over, or she looks at me expecting me to entertain her or w/e which always end up with Them leaving.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy

You can do verbal escalation or you can do manual (kinetic) escalation like grabbing her butt or tits. Also how can you 'forget to escalate' - you went there to fuck someone. If you're not escalating like saying 'I want to fuck you' then you're too scared to escalate. But you didn't forget it. Stop lying.

[–]2ndLion0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Someone is loaded. I used to a easy time picking up for ONS when I used to drink, but aften stopping some things does not flow as easy. I was looking for exampels to compare and wrap My head around My own mistakes so I can improve natural game

[–]1mrthrowaway4130 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

I know that you need to not give a shit about a girls N count but my girlfriend has had sex with 3 people before me and that fucking gets to me. I don't mate guard or anything, but sometimes when we're fucking I just think about the guys that have fucked her before.

Things like she's giving me head and swallows how I like it, but then I think about the guy before she's probably done the same to. Or having sex and her cumming then thinking about previous times she's had before. Like it's fucking stupid and gets to me. She's not aware it does, I keep it to myself. But I need to get over it.

The thing is I'm pretty young and very aggressive in bed how she likes it, she tells me I do things no guy has done before, like lightly choking her or spanking her. So I know I'm one of her best lays, but I can't get over the fact that she's been fucked before.

Hook up culture despises me. I wish girls were still virgins now and days. For plates I don't give a fuck about the N count, but if I have a little bit of feelings for the girl, my mentality changes. How do I get over this?

[–]tb876700 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

This is normal, I get this exact same problem too. The only time this should really bug you is if there is a disease or kids that came from the prior sex. Otherwise it's just sex. That is literally the exact line a few women told me now, just sex. With a condom on you are basically an automatic dildo they don't have to hold, they get enjoyment you get yours and nothing transferred. This bothers me mostly because of vastly increased risk of STD's but then again do you constantly think about your prior sex partners? I don't, just occasional flashes. Women can get laid so easy it's fucking stupid anymore, can you remember every time you whacked off since you were a teen? It's similar for women, the sluts who are single by their mid-30's have fucked so many guys they have completely forgotten at least several of the encounters.

This should only become a problem when women want to keep an ex as a friend. That is a red flag, along with women who hang mostly/exclusively with men. Keeping the ex around that is a type of orbiter she can be comfy fucking anytime she wants or he moved on and she hasn't, both are bad situations for you. Do not tolerate male 'friends' being physically near your woman, leave her. Do not confront them, it will prove to her that you are mate guarding and invested in her so leave her.

[–]1mrthrowaway4130 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I only have occasional flashes as well. And my girl dropped all her ex's. She's a cheerleader so most of her friends are girls. The only issue is that cheerleaders meet all the alphas from sports, but I go to a school that is much more impressive in sports and I swim so I compete with them rather easily.

I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one. Currently she's on the pill and I've made her verify that she's taking them with me so I don't wrap. I've seen an STD test. I do pull out though.

[–]flyercomet2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Three? Listen buddy, as you get closer to 30 the women around you will be closer to three a month while single. You're going to have to figure out how you personally want to value chastity. You get over this by finding your boundary (frame) and holding to it. The "get over this" mindset is a form of male hamster. Decide what you will accept and stick to your guns.

That said, don't toss away a good lay for some misguided morality. Just understand you may be overly invested.

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (3 children) | Copy

You're scared of previous boyfriends because you're too needy or insecure. So what you need to do is making a background check on all of her boyfriends. Research as much as you can. Then you need to analyze what exactly is bugging you e.g. some guy has a big biceps. All right then you go and make a big bicep. Then insecurity will disappear. It's really easy, my friend.

[–]1mrthrowaway413-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

I have. Her boyfriends are little bitches. Dude told her he loves her first 5 months in. He was too scared to talk to her parents or her friends. He kept to himself and was a pothead. Beta all the way. She upgraded with me. I found him and I'm bigger.

[–]Wel1082 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

You're insecure bro. I get why you care, I've been there. But realize women are emotional, and if she's mate guarding and displaying all these interest in you its for a reason.

-n 3 is a joke. That's like heaven for me. I meet girls in the 30-50 range everywhere. So relax and realize you have it good right now. Focus on displaying masculinity and holding that shit down. Read!

[–]1mrthrowaway4130 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Shit. Well I'll work on it. We're both young. 18, still learning. Thanks.

[–]and_what_not 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

embarrassingly stupid

so for starters:

  1. How to become more present and less 'caught up in your head' type of person?

Social interaction for me in particular is kind of tiring. Often I have a feeling that nothing and nobody is really interesting enough to pay attention to, so that many conversations feel more like a duty. How does one make reaching out and talking to people more pleasurable without keeping a tight act almost all the time?

  1. How do you effectively withdraw commitment in an LTR as a mean of playing dread, knowing that you have some specific future plans arranged together (eg. tickets to shows you don't want to miss, or some weekend trips planned together for the month). Ideally this should come off sort of naturally, without entertaining drastic measures at this stage, with my intention being strengthening the frame.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

1) You're saying 'Social interaction for me in particular is kind of tiring'. What does it mean? Let's try to guess. Probably it means that this particular social interaction sucks. Try to find new social interactions, more interesting. And also more interesting people.

2) The best way to withdraw commitment is to never commit. Or divorce if you married. But don't forget to hide the money first. Also if both of you're not married you can dump girl and put her in black lists everywhere.

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points | Copy

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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's ok. You've lost your shitty friends with no value. Continue working on yourself.

[–]Thatnewgui1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

What is hypergamy?

[–]TRP VanguardCyralea5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Women's natural inclination to trade up. They always have a radar going for a potentially better partner, no matter how good their current partner is. It's rooted in evolutionary psychology, women who kept chasing better and stronger alphas produced stronger children.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It is when everything is ok and then BAM! She suddenly dumps you and goes on a trip where she is sucking somebody else's dick. That's the right mindset for thinking about hypergamy.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

I remember when I was younger and was into PUA stuff I'd start with general chit chat and I was decent at switching to a sexual vibe from a non sexual vibe.

Now my method is just a lot more natural, just be myself and when I see a Girl flirting or become attracted to me, pull her away and kiss her.

I've seemingly lost my ability to turn a social situation sexual with my "target" I remember always being decent at "phase switching" once I'd isolated.

Is it something that should be worked on, or am I just mis remembering situations where Girls who were already into me and I attributed my tricks to creating that attraction?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

You need to go beyond tricks. Read 'Models: Attract Women Through Honesty'

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I have, last re read it a couple of months ago.

[–]SarsaparillaCorona2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's very likely that through your experience and abundance you just got bored of coercing women into flirting and only escalated women who showed interest.

Keep in mind that whenever you approach, talk or do anything, women automatically assume that what they want from you (sex, friendship, attention etc) is what you want to give them, so just be a flirt all the time and they'll make the 'sex' assumption more often.

That and being a flirt is really fun.

[–][deleted] 0 points0 points | Copy

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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Read 'No More Mr. Nice Guy' and also sidebar

[–]renzoken990 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Alright let's see what I got.

Been trying to implement TRP ideas and had mild sucess with my own image of myself. Read no more Mr nice guy along with other great TRP reads but I have run into a few bumps that also probably deal with my past.

1) Question part, how does one get out of that mindset of always wanting sex or at least develop a mindset where you're not a damn addict?

2) Also, when it comes to game...I lack if. Approaching has becoming easier for me (i don't mind starting conversations with random people or women) but I can't seem to keep the conversation going to tell her to give me her number. That and dating for me has been riddled with beta tendencies that i's annoying to get rid of. F-close? Yea... Not even once due to beta tendencies and living at home with hardly any time alone. (23m, in college, lives with single get the idea) Suggestions on how to improve game past approach anxiety and F-close in my situation?

3) what are some habits that you have developed that have helped you in really embracing TRP and growing as a man? I lift, dress better, and am more focused on work but still can't seem to fully embrace TRP.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

1) Always wanting sex is ok. 2) Try to read 'When I say no I feel guilty'. Learn both assertion skills with this book and also manipulation skills with 'Psychology of influence', '48 laws of power'.

3) The most IMPORTANT male skill (and female) skillset can be developed easy: 1. Read as much books as you can. 2. Think about what you've read. That's will do the job.

[–]SarsaparillaCorona1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

1) You aren't addicted to wanting sex, you're addicted to Masturbation, Porn and the idea of having sex. Stop wanking and looking at porn and really, really pay attention to how women talk and act, you'll learn how they work and despise them for how simple it is soon enough.

2) Thinking you lack game is the worst part. You get dates, you have game. Start slow, start with touching, patting her back when she says a joke, if she says 'yes' with her body language, keep working your way up till you're balls deep.

3) "The Red Pill" isn't a thing you wake up with, it's a set of tools for you to improve yourself and your understanding, it's entirely up to you how far you go.

[–]Redasshole0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Life is mainly pain and suffering, the world is fucked up and people are nasty. Why bother living? Dying now could prevent a lot of pain (I dont believe in God).

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you think so why you still alive? Haha, I caught you! So if you still alive then there is some reason why you continue. That's great! Read 'Man's search for meaning' then book a psychotherapist, you got some issues, my friend.

[–][deleted] 2 points2 points | Copy

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[–]cockstantino1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks man I needed that. A reminder that in the peak of my life is when I discovered RSDtyler. And that I haven't watched one of his videos in over a year.

[–][deleted] 2 points2 points | Copy

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[–]Modredpillschool[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

[–]lurkythelurkingbean 2 points2 points [recovered] | Copy

Questions below, here's my predicament: I find sex rather boring. I've had a fair amount - I certainly haven't slayed mad pussy, but I have a mid-30 n count at 24 and 150 pounds, so decent enough that I've tasted a few different parts of the rainbow. I've tried various ways to make it more interesting (light bondage, I'm naturally rough and get more so all the time, different body type girls, threesome, roleplay, public locations, etc), but sex pretty much always ends up just being a chore I do to get my rocks off to keep from going crazy. It's also necessary to keep the girls around...The thing is, I find myself much more excited by the game part - the mental stimulation that comes from playing with a girl before the bedroom, the challenge of winning her, and the validation that gives me when I succeed. The pat on the back I can give myself when a girl can't resist me. I mean, shit, even losing has its own unique thrill. TRP has been an absolute blast for this reason - it basically gives me a rule book to the game that I was already sort-of-winning, and it let me beat the levels I was stuck on for so long. But as far as I'm concerned, as long as a girl is WILLING and READY to go do dirty stuff with me, I'm okay with jacking off, and I pretty much lose interest at that point and do the nasty mostly as a reward to her.

Is this something that any more experienced terpers deal with? How do I develop my desire for the physical sex act, or is it something that is even worth developing? Should I just accept it, jerk off more, and focus that energy on more productive activities? Is it possible to keep a girl around without giving her the d all the time?

I've considered LTR game for the unique challenges it entails (and the inevitable decrease in sex frequency), but that seems to be opening a dangerous can. I haven't had a LTR since high school, is it something worth checking out?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is not something spooky. This is just change of activities. You bang a lot of girls then you get bored and tried LTR. I never tried LTR myself, because I can do a mind experiment which will prove that LTR sucks.

[–]Senior ContributorMentORPHEUS2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I haven't had a LTR since high school, is it something worth checking out?

I've lived the best of both worlds, concurrent LTRs and plates. /u/occamsusername has an excellent series on LTR game; grab a fresh coffee, it's a long and worthwhile read for those interested.

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points | Copy

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[–]1Entropy-70 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Beyond the standard "Baby", "Honey" and "Dear" it should be a mutual in-joke that is used privately lest it become an embarrassing nickname of general use by your other friends.

I had one girlfriend and we were both fans of Calvin & Hobbes. It's been almost a decade and a half but I recall that I was Snookie Wookums and she was Pooty Pie. If anyone blinked, we just referred them to the cartoon.

I think you personally have two choices: stop that shit in it's tracks, or turn it to your advantage. Just make sure that if there are any Jedi mind tricks being used, you ain't on the receiving end.

If you are a pooch then what does that make her in bed? Your bitch? Do you get to plaster her face like a wolf marking its territory? (Well, not exactly, but I think you get the idea.) However, don't find yourself 6 months down the road being willing to heel, fetch, beg and roll over.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Love c&h. Used to buy the comic essential books from thrift stores when I was younger.

[–]Hiimusog-2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy

Not really a stupid question but...

1.To anyone here who uses gear, how old were you when you hopped on?

2.How long had you been training naturally prior to hopping on?

3.What changes in your day to day life/personality did you see from using gear?

As a young newbie, thanks in advance.

[–]theodor_herzl-5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

How do I not puss out?

I'm still pussin out and it's getting frustrating.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

you need to become more confident and assertive. Read the sidebar this will orient you.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Pussing out as you call it is actually much worse than just doing the thing. It doesn't feel that way though. I'm assuming you are talking about approaching.

Best way is not to think about it. If you see someone and want to talk to them JUST GO! Don't wait long enough for your mind to talk you out of it, because it will, you know it will, it knows it will, JUST GO! Once you start to move or speak it's much easier to become committed, the more you do it the better the commitment becomes and this commitment translates directly to confidence.

Have you ever been bungie jumping? It's like that, just much less scary. The 10th time is just as scary as the first time, but the 10th time you look like an eagle taking flight as opposed to a fish flopping off a pier.

Go bungie if you haven't, it's fucking fun. Do more than one. Picking up chicks is just as fun. Do more than one.

Read: Game - RooshV it gives you a great starting point.

[–]DeathSperado4 points5 points  (7 children) | Copy

Are there any introverted Alpha pussy slayers out there?

[–]_remedy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Depends how you define introverts. A lot of the people I've known (counselors, professors) always say that introverts being shy is not accurate. They say introverts are just people that need more alone time, so after a weekend with friends they will prefer to recharge for a few days by staying home or whatever.

[–]antariusz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sure, why do you think the tall dark (emotionally) and handsome stereotype and/or tortured artist stereotype exists.

[–]happywurst0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes. But..

There are some pussy slayers who talk less, act more, are oozing calmness, using slow movements and are relaxed. Pretty much contrast to extrovert Alpha. But people usually confuse this kind of guy with real introvert (who isn't necessarily calm, just silent and closed).

I wouldn't say that introverted guys laid much.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Introverts have more serious looks and at least create an illusion of more dominant presence. Just because they don't talk. That's way introverted guy has more chances to become 'Alpha pussy slayer'. I don't know whether I answered your question or not.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm thinking there's two or 3 types of alphas in social situations. There's the dominant life of the party guy. And there's the quiet intensity guy. Can't think of a 3rd one.

[–]1Entropy-72 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

By definition, I would say no, at least not as a natural.

[–]freshdesuka 8 points8 points [recovered] | Copy

In the past, I have displayed a combination of mostly beta, but slight alpha tendencies. I was a typical "nice guy" with high approach anxiety and desperately waned validation and LTR. Was single for all my life until I turned 21 as a result (plus I was a skinny faggot). I first dated a girl because she was so slutty / BPD bad reputation in high school that I had 0 respect for her and treated her dismissively and like a child. She went crazy for it and we fucked a bunch of times this summer. I treated her like dirt, abandoning her when she did stupid shit (my primitive version of calling out shit tests) because I truly, deeply didn't take her seriously since she was so childish and unstable. Then when she went off to school on the east coast, I wanted to cut it off, but she tamed me into being in a long distance relationship. Slowly she infected me with lies about how she wanted me to be available all the time, shit tests every day, threatening to break up to beta-ify me. Then broke up with me for a new chad.

Found TRP and realized my mistakes and see so many parallels from what happened and why I went from a powerful position to not. Now I'm getting educated. I've hit some road bumps though. Am I over-doing TRP and becoming an edgy asshole? I'm here to achieve goals, not be anger phase.

  1. I am acting too much like an asshole since I learned about TRP. I was friends with a couple of girls before TRP who I thought were hot but was kind of friend zoned. Since TRP, I just act completely dismissively to them and I can't tell if I'm achieving any particular goal or if I'm just burning bridges with friends. Like, it's nice not to be their emotional sponge anymore, but at the same time I'm slightly remorseful about losing friendships with girls. That said, I'm sick of being an orbiter to them and if they won't give me sex they don't really have any particular value to me. How do I find the right balance?

  2. As an extension of that, I'm having troubles balancing TRP with being charismatic. By default, I'm kind of a low-charisma person, but over the years I've trained myself to be more animated and charismatic. But I can't seem to combine the whole dismissive, stoic vibe with being charismatic and outgoing. As soon as I start to talk to much or emote too much, I feel like I'm reverting to pussy mode and being too validating of other people. Deep down, I'm extremely machiavellian and admittedly edgy, but if I just 'be myself' and let that out then people call me out and try to drag me out of my frame. I'm sure it comes with practice, but do I just need to find new friends who are more like minded? I find myself bonding more with frat guys but I'm not in a frat and it's too late for me to join one since I'm graduating in May. To put it simply, my friends are really progressive and find my new attitude threatening/weird in contrast to my old self. What to do?

  3. I'm finding social media to be really difficult to balance. I can't seem to find the right timing about how frequently to text back without being too interested or uninterested. I've switched from being over-texting and pandering on snapchat to being really distant and unresponsive. The problem is I love not caring, but then I just lose contact with girls because I reply so infrequently. I'm not sure if that's working against me. Any advice?

[–]FlamingCucumber3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

1) woman friends are fine to have. But be warned if you give them an inch they will take a mile. You don't want to be their emotional tampon, for obvious reasons. If they start that shit lay it down flat "that's the kind of problem you should talk to Emily about" type of thing. If you want to have these girls as friends only it's imperative you have no interest in sleeping with them. At all. Even a modicum of interest turns you into an orbitor. Use them to gain access to their friends, hang out with when your guy friends are busy etc but test them out. Ask them to do something but have them pick you up, ask for small favours you'd have no trouble doing for them, get them to buy the first round. Little things.. I've cut ties with a lot of girl friends solely because they thought they where gracing me with their presence and wanted me to wait on them hand and foot

2) it's probably because you're overthinking it. You're trying to be too many things at once. Mysterious and stoic yet fun and charismatic. You need to read the environment around you and choose the appropriate mind set for optimum performance. Club/pub with a group of friends? Don't be the dick sitting back, legs crossed staring into everyone's fucking soul acting high and mighty, it's no mysterious. It's creepy. Get fun, interact. Tell stories, ask questions, garner everyone's attention and just focus on having a good time etc. I always try to act like Michael mcconaughey on nights out. They guy just oozes charisma

3) again read the situation. If it's solely girls you're trying to fuck the only time you should be texting them is for setting up a date. That's it. You can't build attraction or get her wet from a text.

[–]futuretrackstar 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

Question: A major theme on this website is a man's life mission, and making the completion/fulfillment of this mission our top priority in life at all times. Is this just a really vague statement, or is it specific? Can a man's "mission" be selfish, e.g. the pursuit and enjoyment of happiness, or become the best person he can be (attain maximum SMV potential), etc.?

[–]JimmyJiangh0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Imo, you need concrete goals for it to be a mission. Something vague like being happy doesn't cut it. Your goal can be to be happy, but set some concrete goals to get you there.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Basically this is the same thing said differently. Be on mission = be selfish for Fuck's SAKE.

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points | Copy

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[–]homicide_device8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

Don't shit where you eat. Read the side bar.

[–]1Entropy-74 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed, but if you must feed the oneitis. . .

Wait until you get a transfer or change companies and then go out and "celebrate" your salary raise (if you didn't get a raise, then lie). Suggest somewhere "new" and/or "different" which means as geographically and socially distant from your respective homes, spouses and work colleagues. Find a modest hotel near there to bang.

[–]themidnightfox 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

Been acquaintances with this girl for a couple years, but only been single for like half that, so the default setting in a way was "friends". Only seen her out a couple times but one time she was giving some pretty heavy signs but we were both too drunk for anything to happen. Recently went on a study abroad with her in our group and again, got some IOIs (though she was blatantly trying to fuck another guy in our group, who was having none of it) yet again on the one night I had a shot with her I blacked out and woke up alone. Whoops.

Long story short, I invited her to a fraternity date party tomorrow, but I feel like I'm already playing from behind. I've failed to make a move every time we've been out together but there's still definitely some tension. This really does feel like a dumb question because I'm sure the answer to my inevitable question is to just actually make sure to make a move but do you all have any advice on playing from behind like this? I need to sexualize our relationship but I've failed to in the past, mostly because of alcohol...

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

you failed to make a move previously, but you can make a new move. Invite her somewhere, then unexpectedly grab her ass as strong as you can and say to her I want to fuck your and then cum on your face. Then hold the frame. If it won't work you'll gain an experience. No, she won't tell the cops. This is a secret.

[–]LifeWithTRP10 points11 points  (8 children) | Copy

I'm seeing this girl and she's almost the best I've ever had in all areas, but that being said I often think how we are both 25 and idk if I can do the marriage and kids thing.

Every time I get high, I think about marriage and kids and it freaks me the fuck out. I'm all about investing and read that financial independence sub, and even over there they talk about the risk of marriage. Financially it's fucked. It's just so fucked in many ways.

I got to the nice shopping mall, I see these sad looking, dadbod having, well - dads, and I think to myself "Holy fuck that can never be me, that looks terrible".

I feel like fatherhood in this country is a complacency ridden hell hole, or rather where men's dreams go to die.

I don't want to be overly cynical, because I would be bummed if things ended with this girl, I just wrestle with the absurdity of perpetual plate spinning. I guess I need to get my SMV up, maybe get snipped, and then maybe I can find a good girl who would play non-married monogamy with me, and at worst she can try to divorce me under common law, but at least I wouldn't have kids.

I guess my question is, after this long ass tangent, did anyone else have a hard time swallowing no marriage/kids idea? I tell myself I can figure it out, play the game on hard mode and make it work, but then I just think it isn't worth it, or I at least need to wait until 35

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If marriage and kids freaks you out you need to stop thinking about it. Come back when you're ready. In the meantime do the rest of your activities

[–]1Entropy-72 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

almost the best I've ever had in all areas, but that being said I often think how we are both 25 [my emphasis]

So you are only 25 and you had already had better than her? Mathematically speaking, you should create a guesstimate of how many women you will meet before taking a last crack at an LTR (for marriage or kids or whatever - your choice). Divide by three. Go out with that many women and figure out who the "best" is of that lot. After that, if you find someone better, latch on to them.

Having said that, I had my first serious LTR (3-1/2 years, played house for a while etc.) when I was 23. I couldn't take the leap into marriage and she eventually left me. I came around shortly thereafter but she had already moved on. I stumbled onto her Facebook page twenty years later and it seems like I may have missed out on my unicorn. She got married, had two kids and stuck with the same (beta) guy for two decades. When I first met her she was a virgin but we started as friends and she lost her cherry about 2 months before we started dating. Her Facebook photos seem to indicate that she hasn't changed much since the mid-90's making her a very attractive woman for her early 40s.

I'm not one for regrets but it is a cautionary tale about looking a gift unicorn in the mouth. As it turns out, if I took the mathematical advice above and passed on the first third, the last few years have been a bit of a Kabuki dance with some really good women so by the end of 2017 I will either give up entirely on marriage and kids, or I will have a hot, pregnant wife who is between 15 and 22 years younger than me.

[–]LifeWithTRP0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I see what you mean man, and I know common TRP advice would be "don't dwell on that shit splin plates yada yada" but you're actually older and know what it's like to skip out on what could have been good opportunities (so you say).

Well this one ghosted me, guessing I slacked off on my game with her, was too available, whatever.

I'm going to work on myself for a while. I need to get established in my career.

I want to say I'm a little bummed about her losing interest, but it actually has phased me less than any girl from the past.

Any other advice you would give your 25 year old self? I appreciate it. Cheers.

[–]1Entropy-70 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Focus on building skills and wealth until you hit 30. Resist the temptation to be distracted by women, travel, or dead end employment that is "fun". Bank some cash, buy some real estate, start a small business on the side, stay in shape, work on social skills (YMMV about working on game). Mostly doctrinaire RP advice.

Once you hit 30, if you have cash and skills then you have options: turn that business full time, slay pussy, travel the world, or keep your nose to the grindstone. At that point it is up to you.

It is harder to play catch up on the income and savings end if you wait.

[–]LifeWithTRP0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm looking at doing these things right now. To be honest, after this ghosting I want to take a break from dating. I'm not butthurt, I just don't see it as a good use of my precious time.

Investments made now pay off greatly later in life. I have about 24k in 3 investment accounts and I manage most of it, index the rest. I like to play in the stock market as a hobby and it's more of a game than looking at getting rich quick. I sell options, with 100k+ I could make a nice side income out of it while still being conservative.

A real side business would be nice though.

[–]1ToSeeAndToHear6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Don't get married, there's no reason to "play on hard mode" especially if you don't feel ready to be a father yet.

My current plan - spend the next decade practicing TRP via spinning plates and maybe some LTRs. Absolutely no to getting married. Re-evaluate once I'm pushing 40 whether I like that lifestyle enough to give up on having kids, or if I want to be a single dad via IVF and surrogates or whatever.

You're only just hitting your stride, don't bow out of the game yet. Play the field while you can.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's my plan As well, except I'm 16. 24 years to go.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMetalgear2221 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I'm having trouble making sense of "eliminate desire" and "approach girls and make your intentions known and physical early". Which one is more effective for a decent smv 24/m?

I'm going to be thrown into many social environments soon and want clarity here

[–]JimmyJiangh0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You don't want to eliminate desire, you want to let your desire come through. Let your instincts guide you.

If you can decently read social cues, rejection doesn't have to be overt. If a woman isn't interested you should be aware of that before she tells you to leave.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

don't make sense of eliminate desire. don't approach girls and 'make your intentions'. Get your actions and desires in order. If you want to approach girl then approach girl. If you want to touch boo-boo of this girl then touch her boo-boo. Also, read the sidebar. This will help.

[–]1Entropy-71 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you are in a target-rich environment where the girls don't and probably won't get to know each other, then approach and be up front - at least suggestive enough to make your intentions know. Number close then escalate. It's a judgment call how many times you let yourself get shot down before pausing, making a graceful exit, and then starting the process all over to go for an F-close that night with a different girl. If you fail, then follow up on the numbers.

If you are in a smaller group where the girls might end up comparing notes or are in plain sight of each other then go the other route. However, don't eliminate desire, but rather eliminate expectation. Desire is good but the expectation of being satisfied or the worry of failing is the real killer. Don't expect to get laid; don't try to get laid. Have fun and be awesome in their presence. Network and collect numbers for social or business reasons. Look for IOIs before switching modes. Depending on how the time runs, and whether or not you are mischievous bastard, wait until two or more girls give IOIs then introduce them to each other and let the games begin. Otherwise, isolate then escalate. You only get one shot per event because the women will talk to each other and you don't want to come off as a desperate horndog.

[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points  (3 children) | Copy

I have a friend that we'll call Jen. We've been friends for about 7 years. She's not my type sexually. Despite her admitting "feelings" for me, I've never banged nor reciprocated any admission of "feelings". I've been with my current LTR for a few years and Jen has still orbited around.

Anyway, over the past few months, Jen has gotten distant. No initiation of contact on her part. About a month ago, I went radio silence with my Jen and she hasn't made any attempt at contact. I figured she has some new beta boyfriend occupying her time now.

Are women really this fickle that they'll drop "friends" the second new dick comes into the picture? Any thoughts would be appreciated. I'm more curious as to everything at play here.

[–]mavericksteve0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Are women really this fickle that they'll drop "friends" the second new dick comes into the picture?

I'm willing to bet BP men do this too.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Are women really this fickle that they'll drop "friends" the second new dick comes into the picture?

Since this is the only question part of what you've written, the answer is yes, they are. Don't expect long term loyalty from female friends, even if you've known them a long time.

[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points  (1 child) | Copy

I have a friend that we'll call Jen. We've been friends for about 7 years. She's not my type sexually. Despite her admitting "feelings" for me, I've never banged nor reciprocated any admission of "feelings". I've been with my current LTR for a few years and Jen has still orbited around.

Anyway, over the past few months, Jen has gotten distant. No initiation of contact on her part. About a month ago, I went radio silence with my Jen and she hasn't made any attempt at contact. I figured she has some new beta boyfriend occupying her time now.

Are women really this fickle that they'll drop "friends" the second new dick comes into the picture? Any thoughts would be appreciated. I'm more curious as to everything at play here.

[–]cheeky_throwaway1010 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I know your other username u/Toss_afteruse. C'mon man you're smarter than that!

[–]BlackJ14 points5 points  (8 children) | Copy

What is the end game for the red pill?

When feminism is destroyed? When blue pill indoctrination is stopped? When men are raised well?

Is the success when men move from putting women on the pedestal to improving themselves. Then from marriage to short term LTR's?

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What is the end game for the red pill?

Reaching your goals and maximizing your potential. This is a person by person thing. Some guys simply have bigger goals than others, or the tenacity and mental fortitude to accomplish them.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

RedPill is like university. You teach people here. What is the end game of university? What is the end game of a tree? It's just a fucking tree! It stays there. Same shit.

[–]1Entropy-70 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

As a philosophy, Red Pill does not have an end game as in a purpose, meaning or goal. Only people have meaning, purpose and goals (writ large; animals will eat, shit and fuck and take action to do those things, but those are not goals in the sense that I am talking about). Red Pill tends to stay away from such things and let each man figure that out for himself while providing certain truths (such as AWALT) and then techniques and instrumental goals (a toolbox) to get what you want out of life.

In terms of what will happen after feminism is destroyed, either society will internalize Red Pill truths and structure itself accordingly, or else Red Pill will be forgotten as being no longer necessary, which will set off a new cycle of decline.

We can't put the birth control pill genie back into the bottle but my guess is that we would move back towards LTRs the legal risks - both financial and parental - swing back to being more reasonable.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

What is the end game for the red pill?

What's the end game for your goals in life?

RP is a toolbox of ideas. Towards what goal you apply them is your choice.

[–]teamjkforawhile25 points26 points  (2 children) | Copy

It's when you find personal success. The red pill doesn't really care about changing social issues, only how to work and win with the reality we've got.

It's not a movement, it's a personal journey of self improvement. Stop worrying about changing society and change yourself.

[–]BlackJ14 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I understand TRP isn't a movement nor does it push a specific agenda.

However other men's self improvement will ultimately affect me whether I like it or not, which is why I asked the above question.

[–]Senior ContributorMentORPHEUS8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

A rising tide lifts all ships, I say. Widespread understanding of this knowledge won't change the fact that using the tools in the TRP toolbox to improve yourself will improve your own life.

As far as changing society, it is partially true that we can only control ourselves, but what is society if not the aggregate of all the individuals within it? When a majority of men hold TRP knowledge, it will change collective female mating behavior for the betterment of both, and possibly even the restoration of stable nuclear families.

TRP has the power to change society, but that should not be your primary goal and motivation.

[–]landon042 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

Alright this is something as I'm in preperation for the beach getting dem nice abs. lets say it's a beach in the southern U.s. not popular at all but I could see 50 girls on a busy weekend in the summer, that's when I'm visiting. Family will be there but can have car to drive around. Didn't mention I'll be turned 18(senior highschooler) by then in the summer, current 17.

but how would I go about gaming girls at beach, that I know are here with family then meet to fuck later. Cuz I don't know if there fam would let them go anywhere and the only thing I can think of is pick her up and park car to fuck. maybe she tells fam "i'm going to the public beach" after I've ran game and got number.

this will be a 4 day vacation maybe, and we all know on vacation, even family vacation, these girls don't face any shame. plus highschool girls

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

gaming girls on distant beach is easy. Nobody knows you here. You can allow yourself to be creepy as fuck. Just try.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (3 children) | Copy

Can someone explain why men and women can't be friends?

I had a friend we'll call Jen. We've been friends for several years. She's never been my type sexually despite her telling me she had "feelings" for me. In any case, I've been with my current LTR for a couple of years and Jen has known this and still orbited.

Over the past few months, communication has gotten scarce with Jen. It got to the point where I was initiating all contact. Noticing this trend I figured she had some new beta boyfriend orbiting her. I began radio silence with Jen about a month ago. Jen hasn't made any contact in this time. Any thoughts?

Are women really this fickle where they'll drop a "friend" for some new dick?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

In reality you've never been a friend of Jen. She is manipulative cunt that is trying to take you over. Now she tries 'distance game' and probably some pseudo-beta-boyfriend. Ignore her. Keep going.

[–]Battle-Scars0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you had feelings for Jen and she rejected you after you told her how you felt would you remain friends with her?

[–]clavabot8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy

"Embarrassingly stupid"- Then here I go.

How do you know what is good information and what is not?

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Test it and see what works. Apply the Bruce Lee approach: accept what is useful, reject what is useless. What works for me may not work for you and vice versa. Such is life. The only way to be sure if something has merit or not for you as an individual is to put it through its paces.

Granted some things are just batshit insane, but those are usually self-evident.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You need to read this information, think, ask for opinions and then you made a decision. Learn Bayes Reasoning. There you can find all the answers.

[–]1Entropy-71 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good information is the result of valid logic applied to empirical observations. Due to the nature of the beast, "good information" is "information that is not information that is not good information". If there is a flaw in the empirical observations or a flaw in the logic applied to them, then it will not be good information.

One of the best books out there is this.

Most bullshit that people present as "good information" can be picked apart as either a misapprehension of their observations, or a failure of logic in their interpretation.

As a practical matter, you will end up having to use several non-logical tools (basically, logical fallacies) to assess the credibility of the claim.

The problem is that the average person rarely has access to the raw data, rarely possesses the intellectual tools to process it from scratch and rarely has the time to do so.

So what you are left with are things such as personal anecdotes (a hasty generalization), the scientific consensus (argument ad populum), consequences of adopting the information (argument ad baculum and is/ought fallacy) or looking at the source (argument ad hominem). Even maxims such as "qui bono?" are not strictly logical, but they are useful.

[–]-Enmity-8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is a good question that is difficult to answer. I have a few suggestions.

Ask good questions: Do your own research before looking for others' opinions. This will be easier for some subject matter, with established, proven knowledge. Nutrition is one of the more difficult topics, for example. Know what you're asking, and ask specific questions.

Put it to the test: This is how hypotheses become fact. If it is worth the risk, experiment with the information you are given. Be wary of being too hasty in forming judgments about the validity of hte information. Consistenct testing is necessary before drawing conclusions.

Verify: Seek the opinion of others. This one requires you to make a judgment call. Is this something that many people can be wrong about? Today I had a discussion with my barber about carbs. He repeated the myth that a few beers have as many carbs as a loaf of bread. Any amount of searching will prove this is not the case. Had he bothered to verify it, he would have found it to be inaccurate.

[–]1mr_nate_15 points16 points  (15 children) | Copy

How do I stop talking about myself?

I know this is displeasing to listeners, but I love bragging, sharing my experiences, opinions, and ambitions. This likely stems from the mountain of improvements I've made in the past year of TRP, and I want to receive some sort of validation(?). Instead of talking about myself, how do I start to gear my conversations to get 80% out of them and 20% out of me WITHOUT the conversation becoming stagnant?

[–]fingerthemoon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's much more impressive when you discover someone's gifts and talents on your own without them telling you about it.

[–]_fappycamper0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I have this problem. I started actively monitoring their visual queues for interest. If I see them not caring about what I'm saying, I wrap up my point and ask a follow up question. Best time to talk about you is when the conversation flow stops but both you and the person you speaking to still want to talk.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There is a line between sharring opinions and experiences and bragging. So the first thing that you need to realize - is what you are actually doing. You either share experiences or brag. This is important.

Next thing - if you girlfriend is bored you can grasp it from her body language. Then you need to decide - either change topic or dump her.

[–]chaseemall2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You want to be great? You think you're a Nietzsche in the making? A Shakespeare? A Newton? Then treat every person as someone from whom you can learn, if not from the surface level talk, then from the subtext, from the psychology, from the "why are they even talking about this?"

In order to make great strides you need data. Treat everyone as a person giving you data to be understood. Chances are they, consciously or not, know something you need to know to solve a problem.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Have the same problem Another one of my problems is I don't have shit to talk about sometimes because girls are so fucking vapid. Cant discuss deep shit. Sometimes I just have a whole Convo of back and forth teasing because I can't think of anything else to talk about. Any help guys?

[–]1Entropy-71 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ask open-ended questions that can't be answered with one word or sentence.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don't know how you stop, but when you do, it's so much better! Example - you tell your buddy about your sweet lay last night, and give him a blow by blow - you get a sick dopamine hit which feels great at the time, but after your left with nothing, repeating the same story to anyone who'll listen. The alternative, is just keeping it to yourself and getting a nice buzzzzz whenever you think about it. It's like keeping secrets, only 1% of people actually keep them, and when you do, its such a sweet long term smooth buzz, compared to the cheat sweet juice when you spill followed by guilt.

As for conversing, smile more and try to make people feel good about themselves - its amazing how much that has changed my life. I just ask them questions then let them run if they pick up a story, if they are poor conversationalists I fill in until they are ready to tell me something.

another example of how I frame things in a positive shared way - instead of saying - "I LOVE it when it's sunny!" - I say "everyone is in a good mood when it's sunny" - gives the other person just enough rope to carry on and agree and continue but its not about me.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy

Have you read How to Win Friends and Influence People? If not, that's what you need at this point in time.

[–]1mr_nate_1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I have, time for a re-read.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, re-read it. This time, apply what's in it. Not bragging about oneself and letting the other person do a great deal of the talking is a core theme of the book.

I'm currently reading it and have already applied a couple of concepts a few times at work. It makes a difference.

[–]-Enmity-28 points29 points  (3 children) | Copy

You have a good problem: you're an interesting person.

The solution is to be legitimately interested in other people. Ask them questions. It's ok to use your own experiences to relate to them, just give them an opportunity to pick things back up by pausing at appropriate moments. Something you say could have jogged their mind/memory, so give them a chance to interject.

[–]HS-Thompson0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The solution is to be legitimately interested in other people.

This really is it, there is no shortcut. Become genuinely interested in the people you're around. If you find this literally impossible you might need to find more interesting people to hang around.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is my problem. I'm very arrogant, power hungry, self absorbed. So most of the time I really don't care what the girl is talking about or her experiences, because I don't care. Its so hard to be legit interested. Help?

[–]-Enmity-5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I expect your accomplishments aren't as impressive as you think.

What did you feel as you read that? There is no value in caring so much what other people's reactions are to your achievements. The joy you feel at these accomplishments should come from within.

This extroversion might be causing you to come off as a tryhard.

Another point: everything you do in an interaction should lead you to an eventual goal. Does bragging do that? Maybe at first, as a DHV, but continuously talking about yourself is feminine. Ask yourself why you do it. If it's for the validation, you need to change your priorities.

[–]RP_Vergil1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Just went for an interview recently for a transfer to another job opening in my Company. The interview went ok, but I can't help but keep noticing how my throat dries up always even when I drank plenty of water prior to it.

Is there any good recommendation to reduce the anxiety before an Interview? I'm trying to prepare myself for further interviews I'm getting. Thanks.

[–]Battle-Scars0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Try putting a couple drops of peppermint oil in your water bottle. It helps keep your throat and mouth from drying out and gives you fresh breath.

[–]yayaja671 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The anxiety will only go away with practice. I was a nervous wreck during my first interview (i was sweating so profusely the HR manager noticed it, called it out, and then opened the door to let some air in).

Eventually I became suave and confident, and now most interviews lead to at least a second round, if not an offer.

I used to get dry throat too when it dawned on me that it was perfectly acceptable to bring a bottle of Poland Spring in with me during the interview. It helped keep me cool and kept my throat moist so I could speak more comfortably. I highly reccommend it.

[–]-Enmity-3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I can only offer basic advice, but a lot of people forget to do these things.

1) Breathing and posture. Read up on diaphragmatic breathing. Be cognizant of how quickly youre breathing and slow it down.

2) Do the same with your speech. Don't ramble, it's ok to pause for a second, organize your thoughts, and deliver a well crafted response.

3) Potassium helps. It will reduce the shakiness you get from nerves, which will help your speech, and it also helps with hydration IIRC.

4) Relax, physically. Open up your posture. Shoulders back, head up (as if a string is pulling up from the top of your head). Feet flat on the ground, not crossed. There was a study done on how power posing had behavioral effects. Try that in the restroom for a couple of minutes if you need to.

There's more stuff like this, which I'm sure you'll come across if you choose to follow up and look into it.

[–]Emporian 44 points44 points [recovered] | Copy

I've got a validation problem. I'm addicted to validation, knowing woman find me hot, I dress well, lift well and can occasionally flirt really well. HOWEVER I'm not fucking them. I've never fucked one.

I'm lacking the killer instinct and the guts to execute a lay. After a nights out I lie alone in bed and tell myself "yeah whatever, but they found you hot though, did you see that glimpse the HB9 shot you, she was totally into you". And then I realize I've been bullshitting myself the whole evening.

This happens way to often.

How to break the damn cycle?

[–]Moldy_Gecko0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I get them home by saying I want to stay with them. If they say yes the implication is sex and likely no rejection after. If they say no, you didn't straight up say you want to sleep with them, so no real rejection. And it showed interest and a possibility for next time

[–]fingerthemoon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I advise you dress as unattractive as possible and go somewhere you won't be recognized with the sole intention of approaching the hottest girls you see, with the expectation of rejection.

Dressing fucked up will do a couple things. It will shield your ego because you're not really trying, so when you get rejected you can write it off easier. It will also show you how little looks really matter compared to frame and game, and you may be surprised at your success.

I don't recommend lowering your standards and trying for a woman you're not attracted to. That can do more damage then you're aware of and doesn't actually work for me. I can be Casanova all day long with ladies I don't care about and then choke when I see an HB9-10.

That's what needs to be overcome and there's only one way: approach as many HBs as possible, the hotter the better.

Good looking guys can have a hard time developing game because of how easy it is and the constant validation. There are other problems we face like ridiculously high standards. It's difficult to develop game when the girls you're interested in arw so few and far between. My average fat sloppy friend gets laid way more than me, but I would never do the girls he does. His game is smooth because of all the practice. He wants to fuck them all. I suspect attractive people have fewer partners but the sex is way better.

[–]stickfiguresk[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Roosh maps out an easily executable step-by-step strategy on getting in a woman's pants in BANG and DAY BANG. The sheer level of detail he puts into his strategy should eliminate most anxiety that you may feel in any step towards crushing puss.

[–]elrayem1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Couple of thoughts:

Keep executing on the basics you are doing well, and pursue your long term plan-- your SMV will continue to rise. Time is on your side.

The first time is not that big of deal but seems to be a mental roadblock for you. If you can't get over it, consider getting the first time out of the way. Pay for it.

Go NoFap. Use your sexual drive to push you into pursuit.

Adjust what your putting into your body. Anything which is fueling complacent living needs to go. If you're 420 friendly, put it down for a while.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I've considered paying for it, no problem in my country. However, I don't think I need the sex, I need the mental sticky that I've successfully seduced a woman.

Your point about 420 resonated very well to me...

[–]HS-Thompson1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'm not trying to insult you or post flame bait, but have you considered the possibility that you're gay? Do you have a strong animalistic attraction to women? If so have you tried kissing one, putting your hand on one's arm, etc? What happens?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

TBH I have asked that myself, but I'm definitely not gay.

I'm turned on by women, think about fucking women and occasionally pop a boner when I sense her attraction.

[–]1edwardhwhite1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Look into sexual shame. Did you have a controlling, BP or narcisstic mother who was always the center of attention?

This is the prototype for NMMNG. Read it if you haven't. You will get there.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

There is magic bullet here. You overworking. You have created a mental model of women inside your head which would judge you. You have created a really cool great smart women and you try your best to win her approval. That's why you working as fuck. Great thing.

But lets remove this woman out of picture. Because she never existed. Actual women are not such judgemental are not such smart and also extremely needy and whiny. Just relax. And continue improving yourself.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

There is magic bullet here. You overworking. You have created a mental model of women inside your head which would judge you. You have created a really cool great smart women and you try your best to win her approval. That's why you working as fuck.

it's like you caught a glimpse at my mind, spot on. Day dreams about finding the unicorn pop up daily, I'm always fighting it.

But lets remove this woman out of picture. Because she never existed. Actual women are not such judgemental are not such smart and also extremely needy and whiny.

Very true, but it sounds so easy but is very hard to really do. I'm rereading posts like "Briffaults Law" "another AWALT" "She doesn't love you, she loves her attraction to you" daily, I still relapse and occasionally think about the "perfect couple life".

[–]1Entropy-726 points27 points  (1 child) | Copy

Women are not the goal; women are a side effect of reaching other goals in life. Set personal goals in your life be it money, physical performance, knowledge, experience or artistic excellence.

Lift because you respect your body, don't lift to get laid. Dress well because, damn it, you deserve some fine clothes; don't dress to impress women. Flirt because you enjoy it, not because you think it is leading anywhere - flirt with women you have no intention of fucking, flirt with the hot ones with no immediate expectation of outcome.

Seek your validation in other pursuits and look for IOIs before deploying game. Once you are on your way to reaching your own goals then pussy is no longer the prize. At that point flirting, game and bedding women becomes a lot easier because you have shed that aura of being needy in their presence, so you can be more aggressive.

[–]Synsin4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

This right here is my philosophical mindset. Improve yourself and the women will come. The anxiety over not closing is what is causing you to fail - because you view closing as your goal.

You have to love yourself more. Do the things you want to do, learn the things you aspire to learn, become the man you want to be. Women will see that you are a man who does what he wants and will resonate with that.

[–]harsha_hs[🍰] 5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

I have been there, this anxiety of escalation will not go away until you do your first one. As I always say, there is absolutely no substitute to field experience.

I suggest, shortlist a girl who is 2-3 points below your SMV, and you should be kind of out of league for her. Invite her to your apartment and escalate.

Later, you will do fine

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I suggest, shortlist a girl who is 2-3 points below your SMV, and you should be kind of out of league for her. Invite her to your apartment and escalate.

Funny, I've also considered that and is actually similar to my approach "Is she's fuckable?". However, I don't think that would be such a good idea to fuck one who is 2+ points below me, because I had a similar situation once, I made out with one who I found attractive in the dark and disgusting in the light, at home I cleansed my mouth several times.

a vicious circle, I'm validation addicted and I need the validation that I can fuck a 7,8,9 before I can start to break it.

[–]harsha_hs[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm only talking about the first lay. Only for breaking the ice. I have been on a date once with a tinder girl and she looked ok on pic. After meeting her, she was not a looker plus damn boring and I couldn't control walking out soon after a coffee saying, I have some important work. She was saying 'you're just going'. She watched movie after that, alone.

[–]truthyego0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No, start escalating at the bar. Otherwise likely to get LMR

[–]-Enmity-27 points28 points  (2 children) | Copy

There is no magic bullet here. Your problem is twofold.

1) You're content with the validation. In some way, you need to attribute failure to a lack of escalation. Gamify it if you like, keep score of all the women you interact with. -1 point for not escalating past what you've been doing so far, +1 point if you do.

2) Your fear is controlling you. There is approach anxiety and then there is fear of rejection. You may have learned to deal with approach anxiety, but you're afraid you will be rejected upon subsequent escalation. This causes your gerbil to run wild, which is what leads to the problem above.

The only thing you can do to fix this is keep practicing and improving. It's like lifting. The same weight will only help you improve up until a certain point. After a while your endurance will continue to increase, but your strength will stagnate.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Thank you for this insightful response.

The fear of rejection upon subsequent escalation crossed my mind more than once, and everytime I found another excuse as why couldn't be true. However, you mentioning it made me aware of the rationalization.

[–]dissentforall0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You need to get into the habit of being entertained of whatever outcome occurs when you swing and miss. After you get used to being rejected, it doesn't phase you at all and you can actually recover by not giving a fuck and laughing it off. Many times I've hit on girl, had her flair up with false indignation and I laugh at her and talk to her friend, only to have that girl come back later to talk to me (then she's hooked).

I suggest doing a decondition exercise. Try going to a party or bar, talk to and push the envelope with as many as you can manage. Get the numbers and work from there. Once you get half a dozen numbers i, then it's just texting game and working out logistics. Get good at the 1 on 1 interaction first before practicing F-close from a girl in a group outting. Eventually it comes naturally without trying.

[–]SirCockburn4 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy

No stupid questions? Ok, I'll bite.

Can liking art be "alpha?"

[–]JimmyJiangh0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Passionately explaining to a woman what you love about a piece of art would be a good example.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

At first I thought that there is some new art direction called 'liking art' and you're doing it.

Liking stuff is cool, especially great stuff. Liking great art is alpha, liking shitty art is retardness

[–]1Entropy-70 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You see some art you like; you buy it; you tell your 4000 social media friends that you like it and how awesome the artist is; you wait one week; you auction the art on eBay for 3 times your purchase price.

That's pretty alpha.

[–]Battle-Scars9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Art museums are a great place to cold approach some pretty classy women, I've never seen a bar slut at an art museum.

[–]Modredpillschool[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children) | Copy

Doing what you want and like is alpha, with no regard to what others say.

[–]102117991070 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I've used back-turning to exclude people from myself and my friends conversation when they stand to side and stare at us while talking(were speaking a different language). These people have no sense of social skills at all and just awkwardly wait for us to acknowledge them where they have nothing to add except try to break out balls. This is annoying.
Back-turning works where I've seen them take a few seconds and walk away. Sometimes I wonder if you can use this in a situation where you have an "alpha" of a group in a certain context. What are your opinions on this when they try to shit test or challenge and you simply exaggerate a laugh, then when you talk to another member of the group you position yourself in a way that cuts him out of the circle. Careful to not make it obvious, using pointing to something to make your turn etc.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

From your comment I get that when somebody starts talking useless bullshit you just turn your back on go away. That's great start. But some people become angry in this kind of situation so what you need to do first is to say 'Goodbye' or 'Good luck' this will remove aggression out of the scene.

[–]102117991070 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I see what you're saying. I'm stuck though, is it my responsibility to cater to their feelings when they're being rude by uninvitingly staring at us, with nothing to add? Saying good luck or such won't do anything since I'm not responding to something they said.

In the second context when someone tries to amog you or a friend do in the group, don't you think laughing at them, and then disconnecting their presence would be enough to not elicit anger? I think they'll feel awkward as fuck, but not sure.

[–]SouthPorn2 points3 points  (9 children) | Copy

I'm 35, 6' 4", I get paid reasonably well. I've lost enough weight to start looking more muscular than fat, own my own car, play guitar, practice martial arts (HEMA) and dance. (swing and tango)
I've got the friendliest big dumb dog in the world. I am more and more on a path to being a high value male with one caveat. I moved back home last September after an awful break up. I'm using it as a opportunity to take greater risks. (way easier to star your own business)

I cannot being myself to approach women. I have no way to spin my current living arrangements that doesnt sound extremely pathetic.

I wont live here forever. I'm working on my escape every day, but it's been over a year since I've had sex, and more than three since I really enjoyed it. Is there anything I should do or is it better to wait until i have ny own place again?

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (1 child) | Copy

in order to gain dexterity it is better to practice boxing and brazilian jiu-jitsu. If you go on tango and swing in order to 'find soulmate' - this is your biggest mistake. Eliminate this activities, this will help. You supposed to practice tango and swing only in order to touch women's private parts. No other way.

[–]SouthPorn1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Where in the hell did you get the idea that I am learning dance to "get a soulmate?"

[–]abc690 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You don't have to explain, if they ask just say that you are renting an apartment. When time comes to take her somewhere, say you live with roommates and you all have a deal to not bring anyone over.

If you don't want to pay for a hotel or if you feel fancy, rent out a room/apartment for a night on this one app Airbnb.

[–]Senior ContributorMentORPHEUS1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have my own house but usually spend GF time at their place. It's totally not a barrier for every woman out there, so don't let this keep you from approaching. Online dating has worked so well for me that I don't have to approach in person, but it's not good to let those skills go undeveloped.

Your dog is not only great for getting in more exercise, he's a natural pussy magnet- women will open themselves when you're out with a dog on the weekend. Get him a nice can of "Hunk of Beef" whenever he helps you score.

[–]Battle-Scars16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

Tell them you moved back in to take care of your parents for awhile, they eat that shit up.

[–]-Enmity-1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

There's no reason to wait. You don't need to explain your living situation. If asked you have several options. You can ignore, deflect, tell part-truths, or lie.

I do have to ask, what's stopping you from getting your own place? If it's cost, you can find a roommate/housemate.

[–]SouthPorn1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Honestly my dad asked me to stay longer. He seems to really like me being nearby again (lived about an hour away before.)

I'm really focused on getting a bachelor pad, and while the company would be good for him I'm a bit hesitant to leave my dog with a roommate while I work. I had a friend who's roommate sold my friends dog for drug money. We had no idea he was a junkie.

[–]TheIRS3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Go back to her place.

Alternately, keep grinding monk mode.

[–][deleted] 11 points11 points | Copy

[permanently deleted]

[–]antariusz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I used to say sorry before stating an opinion, until someone on this forum pointed it out to me, I didn't even realize that I did it, or why.

[–]TRP VanguardCyralea1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

As a rule of thumb don't ask questions. It puts you into an implicitly submissive position. Naturally you can't avoid it for all things, but you'd do well to make affirmative statements in lieu of questions where possible.

Further, don't ever inflect your tone upwards at the end of a sentence. That's how women talk and it makes you look desperate for validation and safety.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I don't see a big difference between 'Can I have' and 'I'll take' by the way what if you say 'I'll take' and they don't have this particular item. You would feel yourself awkward.

But the idea behind is that you need to coordinate your actions and desires. Like I want to become slim? All right, let's go to the gym!

[–]JimmyJiangh0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What? You order off the menu. If they don't have an item that is listed on the menu that's their issue.

[–]1Jaereth2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

by the way what if you say 'I'll take' and they don't have this particular item. You would feel yourself awkward.

If you start to feel awkward ordering in a restaurant for any reason there's no need to concern yourself with can I have/i'll take.

[–]Senior ContributorMentORPHEUS10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

Learn to be assertive, it's an important skill everywhere in social and business life. As opposed to aggression, it states your position yet respects/accounts for the position of the other. When dealing with women, a good way to satisfy both parties is narrow the choices to the outcomes you prefer, and let her choose from these.

When Don't say Instead say
Asking a woman out Would you like to get drinks sometime? Meet me for drinks on day or day at time/place
Deciding where to eat What do you feel like having? I'm hungry for Italian or maybe Barbecue tonight...
Leaving a dragging event When do you want to go? Let's get ready to go in about 5-10min.
Planning a weekend Want to go to the lake this weekend? What sounds better, fishing or jet skis?

[–]1Entropy-74 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

You can get away with the occasional "don't say" if you truly DNGAF and don't let the illusion of autonomy go to her head. Otherwise, sound advice: stick a Morton's Fork in her and she is done like dinner.

There is a sliding scale:

  1. Permissive: Can/may I/we/you__?(<---DON'T BE THIS GUY)
  2. Open Inquisitive: What do you want ____?
  3. Closed Inquisitive: Do you want _____?
  4. Open Commanded Option: Pick a_____.
  5. Implied Inquisitive: Shall we _______?
  6. Implied Command: Let's _____.
  7. Closed Commanded Option: [See above post]
  8. Direct Command

YMMV but that goes roughly from beta to alpha although 7 might be lower as it is a bit manipulative as opposed to straight dominance, while 4 might be higher and 5 isn't really a question because the assumption is that she will say yes anyways.

[–]Battle-Scars9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

Never lead with the word "just".

Example: I just want to, can't we just, just wanted to ask, or, just wanted to let you know.

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Similarly, never lead with "Can I..."

Can I ask you a question...

Can I pick you up at 8...

You get the idea. Asking implies lack of dominance/leadership and puts her in command of the relationship dynamics. A lot of women get turned off by that pretty damn quick.

[–]1Entropy-72 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Generally true, but it depends on the context. "Just" is a signifier of the insignificant. If used like a silver bullet it can shame another person into compliance by making them feel petty about opposing what you "just" want/need/will do/must do. Overuse it and you sound like an excuse factory downplaying your own ineptitude.

[–]Modredpillschool[S] 30 points31 points  (3 children) | Copy

When working on a girl that you wish to plate, if discussion of her boyfriend or current fling comes up, never refer to him by name. Come up with something emasculating. Use it every time.

She will eventually start using it too, perhaps because it's funny, or perhaps it's to please you. But once she does, her respect for him starts dropping.

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

It also creates a commonality between the two of you, which amps up your mutual propinquity.

[–]1Entropy-73 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I am following a new TV series called Lucifer. Apparently, the Devil is bored of/as Hell so he quits his gig to become a nightclub owner in LA who gets mixed up with a female police detective and they solve crimes together (better than it sounds, but I'm not going to take to time to shill for it). Anyways, Lucifer likes the female detective and her ex is a cop. How does Lucifer refer to him? Detective Douchebag.

[–]tb876702 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

Question: Do women keep exes around as friends to shit-test men with them? Is this intentional to separate anyone with confidence from those who are bluepill and desperate enough to stay with the bitch even with the ex still around?

Story this question comes from: I've known a few women who hung out exclusively or mostly with guys, some only with gays others with both gays and straights. They were all slutty types. Any of them being prior sex partners is worse, chemistry had to exist for sex to happen and that's not good having that kept around for you as the man. You know he will try to snatch that twat up any time you aren't looking. Now the past few days had a chat with a woman from a dating site, I knew immediately her hanging with guys was a red flag and told her we wouldn't work. She tried to ask me out again, some more probing she said she didn't sleep with most of them. MOST. Then trickle truth comes out there is only 1 she slept with that she talks to and he's her best friend apparently. Of course I was blackknighting at this point, pointed out it looks like she has a dick in a glass case to break on a rainy day. She kept saying she liked me and he wasn't interested, even said worst sex she ever had, then the final trickle truth after me telling her another time I wouldn't be with her: He's her dream apparently, and she would drop anything for him. He's not interested apparently so she has to find others to date now.

Whoever she is involved with from now on may be thrown away like a piece of trash if that guy gets bored one night and needs a wet hole. I just thought well played, this guy had this bitch on tap and apparently alpha widowed her. This is what spurred on my question, this bitch was delusional and kept denying that she wanted to be with him yet admitted she wanted to be with him. Is this deliberate or just the fucking lunacy of women? I assumed both and stayed away regardless. Told her that her keeping any ex as a friend she sees all the time is greed not being friendly, blackknighted so hard I'm surprised she didn't block me. It ran it's course, had my fun blackknighting her and blocked her.

[–]antariusz1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

AWALT, that's why it's considered a red flag that she has been alpha widowed and also a red flag that she only has guy friends. 2 red flags = run away. Sticking around with her is just asking to get cuckolded.

[–]tb876700 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Not sure if it's alpha-widowed due to claims of bad sex when they tried it but it might just be her wanting him because he doesn't want her hence the chase. Already blocked the number though, most of my chat with her was me enjoying some blackknighting telling her how any sane man wouldn't accept that situation she proposes. Even said the only men that will stick with her would have no confidence and/or be desperate, those are two traits I do not possess. I got bored of that and just let it go, I considered it a loss at first mention of just having mostly male friends.

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Orbiters of all stripes are there for "in case of emergency, break glass for dick". This is doubly true for exes, especially if the guy is good in bed.

[–]Modredpillschool[S] 7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

If she keeps an ex around, he's like all orbiters: a backup plan.

And yes, tolerating it is failing hard.

[–]tb876700 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

And yes, tolerating it is failing hard.

At least I knew this from TRP long ago. I was up-front about my zero-tolerance policy for that shit with exes but she tried sweet-talk a few times to me while double-talking how the ex would never be an issue. Is it possible women are so blatant with male friends/exes as a possible filtering mechanism or like a pre-shit-test?

[–]npdrealz 7 points7 points [recovered] | Copy

If your girlfriend is staying at her guy friends' apartments, is it mate guarding to care? How do you mate guard and not come across as beta? Maybe it's already a lost cause but this girl was a total whore and only has guy friends. I am pretty sure her guy friends are pussies but am I just not as alpha as I think I am?

[–]1Jaereth7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

If your girlfriend is staying at her guy friends' apartments, is it mate guarding to care?

If your girl is staying at another guys place you are a bitch. Plain and simple. She has zero respect for you.

Get rid of her. There's no way you can go back and take a hard line now that you've already allowed it once, though you can always try.

For the future, (with another girl that you haven't ruined her respect of you with) the conversation is like an A,B thing here. You tell her if she does that, you are breaking up. And if she does it anyway, or even puts up too much of a fuss really, you break up. End of question, end of story.

You need to respect yourself and get what you want out of a relationship.

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

If she's staying at her guy friend's apartment, odds are you're HER plate.

And guess what, the gay guy who's "just a friend", many of them still have sex with their female friends. Some it's just a once a year or two thing to see if they're still gay. Yes, this happens.

Ultimately her staying someplace where there's an opportunity for improprity to occur demonstrates MASSIVE POOR JUDGEMENT on her part and an unworthiness of your long-term investment.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If your girlfriend stays at her 'guy friend' apartment then she is sucking his dick. Or having vaginal sex or doing sadomazochistic stuff or maybe even pegging. Bad news, dude. Good luck.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She may be BPD if she only has guy friends. Run bro, or just demote to lowest spinning plate.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's not mate guarding. If it's against your principles you say:

"If you stay at his place we're over"

If she goes, you break up with her.

[–]sir_wankalot_here13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

You don't have a girlfriend, you have a fuck buddy but you are in denial.

[–]Geckobird11 points12 points  (3 children) | Copy

If she was a total whore, why did you make her your girlfriend? You really think she's just going to fuck you and never at some point crave strange cock again?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

They're all whores, why have a gf/LTR in the first place?

[–]Modredpillschool[S] 60 points61 points  (2 children) | Copy

If your girlfriend is staying at her guy friends' apartments, is it mate guarding to care?

You don't forbid her from doing it, you just don't be around when she gets back.

Any woman who truly respected you would know that wasn't acceptable behavior.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen21 points22 points  (1 child) | Copy

As a sidenote don't assume that just because this guy is a thirsty orbiter, nothing ever happens. I have been that guy friend several tines and I've always been given some crumbs that fell from the table.

The last one even became the mother of my daughter.

[–]tb8767015 points16 points  (0 children) | Copy

Male-only friends means she's fucked at least one of them. Red flag, I even knew this when I was new to TRP. I've seen several of these types now and I am starting to wonder if this is actually a thought-out strategy they employ.

[–]CQC31 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Girls will cheat for a number of reasons. Not all of them make sense because you'd have to understand their internal world. Women reside in a realm of feels. The answer is to avoid investment to where her actions won't affect you drastically. I won't say don't care, because mental logic seldom supersedes embedded emotional responses. Dont show it though, but always acknowledge it to yourself.

[–]andlime 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

I don't think it's mate guarding to care. She's your GF after all. The key is your reaction. Most people on here, myself included, would say to go out with your friends and go no contact. See how she responds. That should tell you what you need to know

[–]aDrunkenWhaler6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

If she "was" a total whore, she's everybody's girlfriend, not OP's. On that note, OP, how can you call her your girlfriend and a total whore at the same time? Why so invested in her?

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon17 points18 points  (9 children) | Copy

Sure, I got one.

Pausing before answering someone is a sign of power, as such it's a cornerstone of charisma. (Well covered in The Charisma Myth - good book).

But.... pausing before answering also generates distrust, whereas quick answers seem more honest (no time to formulate a lie). (Similarly well researched)

Clearly both are true at different times.... but I can't quite get my head around which is true under what circumstance.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You need to pause before answering in order to think for at least a couple of seconds about what you're going to answer. That's it. Fuck the distrust, fuck the signs of power.

[–]Senior ContributorNightwingTRP2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's probably just down to the halo effect. Pausing seems like you're taking it seriously, in control etc etc if you're attractive. If you're unattractive then pausing is because you lack confidence in what you're saying... probably because you're being deceitful.

Personally I find pausing tends to give me more presence, but that's just my style because I use pressure flips a lot.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Pausing to think about an answer is different to being evasive.

If I pause to think about an answer I might take a deep breath, look up and make a thinking face, I might even scratch my chin.

If I'm evasive I might lick my lips and look side to side.

I would imagine that both your statements are true, but they are influenced by what you do in your pause body language wise.

[–]1Entropy-74 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

There is the question of spontaneity, well researched or well rehearsed. You have to look at it from the other person's perspective. It depends on the type of question you are posed.

Answering an application question without a pause can come across as rehearsed which is a bad thing when your inquisitor is expecting you to reason through it rather than already having a comeback "in the can". It can be an honesty indicator that can be a turn off for women in particular, prompting them to say "you have an answer for everything".

On the other hand, for a preference question you should have an immediate response to avoid the impression of prevaricating (are you a dog person? what's your favorite color? how did you vote in the last election?).

In both cases you should have it in the can but in the first case a pause gives the impression of thinking on your feet while in the second being quick gives the impression of visceral honesty.

Break out your Robert Greene:

Laws 1 (Never Outshine the Master), 4 (Say Less), 17 (Keep Others in Suspended Terror), 46 (Never Appear Perfect) are some reasons to slow down your response, but then again: Law 30 (Make your accomplishments seem effortless), so rattle off answers quickly without a moment's thought (even if you needed hours to come up with the answer while contemplating it in private).

There is the power dynamic vis-a-vis the interlocutor and your purpose in answering. To reinforce a dominant position, take it slow (Laws 4 & 17). In a competitive position, answer quickly and decisively (Law 30), and in an subordinate position answer quickly as an honesty indicator but slow down regarding advice or conclusions (Laws 1 & 46).

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Less than 20% of communication is verbal. Body Language, Context, Tone, Eye contact (or eye movement) positioning etc. All these things can't be taught on this website - you just gotta know it or learn it.

[–]1ItsTheHomeWrecker2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–]CQC34 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dirty secrets: Gesticulate your own pauses. Make it obvious you paused to think by exaggerating it with a comic undertone.

[–]2Deapluv13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

The answer is in your motives. Are you pausing because you want to influence the person, or because you are thinking deeply about their words and want to be thoughtful in your response. Trust me when I say people can tell when you are being inauthentic.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (33 children) | Copy

The "alpha" in my group has made it a mission to trash a guy I know every chance he gets. And we're powerless to do anything about it. We know him and think he's cool but he's in a no-win situation. With all the things he's had said about him, I wouldn't be surprised if he shot up the school. Meanwhile our friend just casually goes off on tangents about him and he just doesn't care. He's 28 and still lives with his parents. People try to go with it so they don't get on his bad side.

What would any of you do in this situation? I'm stuck on not saying anything but still trying to protect my status in the group.

[–]happywurst0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Baseball but stil works. Just saying.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

Why are you being a bottom bitch for a loser who's 28 and still lives with his parents?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Go fuck yourself. You sound very judgmental.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I rather be judgmental than be you. You're a bottom bitch for a fucking joke. What does that say about you?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

What is the problem with trashing somebody? Let him be. Anyway since you call this guy an alpha, conviction with words probably wouldn't work

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

From what I see, people are eating it up. If you were being trashed and the same thing was happening, you wouldn't like it either.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Not really. This dude is making himself look bad without even knowing it. And he doesn't know because y'all are too chickenshit to walk out on him. If you're feeding all that, you're even worse than he is.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

What in God's name are you talking about?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You got some problems, kid.

[–]2Overkillengine3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

And we're powerless to do anything about it.

Bullshit. One can always walk. Walk all the way to a better group that does not feature an AMOG that gets kicks out of trashing people.

You've already admitted that changing the "Alpha" does not seem like a workable path - so don't. Only they can change themselves.

[–]superduper153 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Get new friends, this guy sounds like poison

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

When everyone is around, point it out that it's weird that he's ragging on him 24/7.

Ask him if he fucked his Mum or something and is that why he's so focused on him.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen1 point2 points  (9 children) | Copy

Who is “we“ and what kind of group are we talking about?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

"We" is me and a few of my friends in the group.

"what kind of group are we talking about?" We're the nerdy/outsider group if that answers your question.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

So are you the majority of said group and is this “alpha“ a part of your group?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

He's part of the group. There's 4 of us and 1 of him but he's the guy.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

So if all of you don't want this guy to behave this way, what keeps you from just telling him to either adjust or piss off?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

We're just being smart. 1, this guy is 6'3" ish. 2, he has nothing to lose by getting up and punching somebody. We're still in college and we would get expelled along with him. And 3, we're not those type of guys.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I am confused. Is this guy part of your group or not?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes. I've already said that.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Daddy got you trapped, huh?

[–]Edgarallenbroo20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy

Tell him to knock it the fuck off. Fucking with the smaller guys doesn't make you tough, but raising your chin and telling your "alpha" to stop being a coward and to leave the kid alone is tough. Do the right thing dude. I'm not a huge dude but the thing that sets me apart is I'm always quick to put a person in their place. No alpha would waste their time on someone weak and smaller, he's just a beta with a big mouth.

[–]2Deapluv2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yo i appreciate what you're saying. You sound like a cool guy. Think though, how does this "alpha" picking on someone affect you? Why is this person picked out?

Are you on your own path to better yourself? If you are confident this is a good person that you want to support, then the simplest challenge, held with strong frame will knock an alpha out.

I've been in similar circumstances, and trust me you gotta hold frame like Putin channeling trump. Just say "hey, that's my bro, knock it off" "no I said knock it off" "why are you so weird knock it off and be cool" "stop being creepy, have fun and knock it off, we're having fun, join us"

To be clear tho, it's not what you say it's all in frame

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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