Just how important is height really?

-OpportunityCost · 2020-05-17T19:06:17+00:00

Its really only important that you don't meet the threshold for short by women's standards (probably under 5'8). I do really feel for guys that are shorter than that. All things being equal obviously height is an advantage but if you're 6'2, ugly, and socially autistic you aren't going to be slaying strictly because of your height.

majani · 2020-05-17T17:23:12+00:00

When I walk around, the man being taller or equal height to the woman seems to be the most cast in stone requirement for women in dating. The 185-195cm range seems to be the range with a "wow" factor

AntMan3298 · 2020-05-17T22:52:22+00:00

Around 2008, not important. Now? With tinder and Insta being such big factors of our dating paradigm? Definitely more important.

Either way in terms of legitimate practicality and pragmatic value, height doesn’t mean much. It’s more our skewed value system that thinks it’s valuable. Yes we tend to lean towards a taller candidate if all things are equal but things are changing our president is not as much meant to be a poster boy; JFK was tall, tan, and handsome as well as charismatic; policy aside we tend to lean towards the guy who “sounds like he’s got it figured” when in reality that’s not what’s gonna ha most prosperous.

When it comes to dating, we had an expression in pickup, “6’2 and abs buys you the first 30 seconds of an interaction after that you better actually be valuable”. It’s harsher on shorter men on tinder but long run it’s harsher on women too because they go for the taller guy and he “exposes” his chad self and she’s turned off while also eliminating half or more of her suitors. Regardless in terms of actual value, height plays a little bit of a part — even if it has no real value, the fact people think it has value makes it hold value, does that make sense? With that said you look at RSD pretty much all of those guys, except maybe Julian and Madison are short and have more value on the sexual market than everyone in this forum

Athletics are different, assuming everyone is at the highest level yeah, every layer of advantage counts; even still the GOAT of basketball was MJ not Shaq. With that said though since 99% of us aren’t professional athletes so it doesn’t mean as much. When it comes to athletics and size I go by “can I defend myself?” And if you took a BJJ class and had an 80yr old Brazilian man make you look like his handicapped little brother, it puts size into perspective.

TL:DR VERSION: there’s so many other factors in dating value that height is low on that list

TheBookOfSeil · 2020-05-17T18:20:43+00:00

I’ll probably do a short post on this sometime. I have an evolutionary psychology text book from last semester with some interesting information about height.

All I can say is that height has always been correlated with status and people always give taller people more benefits and even more status just for being tall. They’re almost revered as monoliths in themselves among the population. Most leaders in human history have been taller than the majority of people. Just a different way to frame the argument “size matters.”

Pastelitomaracucho · 2020-05-17T17:24:50+00:00

Important, but not everything. Tinderellas are just casting a wide net because it costs them nothing and they have nothing to lose. Also because they get bombarded.

Women generally select for people that are relatively taller than them. Luckily for us, there are a lot of short women :).

The-Devilz-Advocate · 2020-05-18T00:49:59+00:00

Extremely important, girls will say "i don't care about height" but her boyfriend is 6'2.

madcockatiel · 2020-05-17T16:53:58+00:00

It’s important but it’s not the only thing that matters. Lots of guys do just fine with women and life despite being on the shorter side.

reluctantly_red · 2020-05-17T19:28:19+00:00

It's pretty damn important. Being 6'4" enabled me to get laid even when I weighed over 300 lbs.

angry_ogunsoto · 2020-05-17T23:53:12+00:00

Everything matters, and height as well. And when I say everything I mean: appearance, hair, money, personality, character, build, strength, education, IQ, skills, dick size etc.

Yes it is true that woman don't like short men. If you ask a woman if she would date a short man the answer will be a definite "NO". But the answer will remain the same if instead of "short" you say: ugly, bald, poor, bad personality, bad character, fat, weak, uneducated, low IQ, without any skills, small dick etc.

This happens because of the way the question is framed. It accentuates the negative trait by ignoring other traits making it the most important.

That's why you hear women saying: short men are undateable etc.

The conclusion? Everything matters. The best would be to be perfect but this is extemely rare and thus my best piece of advice would be self-improvement. Change what you can and accentuate the good aspect of yourself.

2020-05-19T00:16:48+00:00

As a short guy (5’6”) I can say without a shadow of a doubt that your height is the most important aspect of you where women are concerned.

100% of attractive women will never consider dating a non-celebrity short guy.

90% of even mildly attractive women won’t either.

Most women consider short men physically repulsive and have no problem voicing this opinion to your face in public.

There is no group of people in dating as shallow as women are about male height.

SherbertBacon · 2020-05-17T22:42:53+00:00

But, this doesn’t necessarily mean they are prioritizing height.

Not only that, check this out. "Tall, dark, and handsome" (size, colour, material) follows the order force of adjectives rule. It's a grammatical construct, more than anything.

Height and reach is also really important in athletics, such as basketball, volleyball, and mma.

FYI: Height and reach matter in mma all other things being equal, but they're not always an advantage.

Just how hard do women select for height?

No matter how many times it's said on PPD it bears repeating: women aren't some set of universally interchangeable parts. Some women have hard rules about minimum height requirements. A small minority have only a max height. Some have a preference but not a rule, and some don't care at all.

Would a 6’5” guy have a significant advantage over a 6’1” guy, even if the 6’1” guy is smarter or more fit?

Generally, no. Surveys indicate that taller than 6'3" tends to be where most average women say gets "too much." But again, these are all generalities. A taller woman might prefer the taller man, etc.

Is there diminishing returns, where as long as you aren’t really short it doesn’t matter much? Discuss.

Yes, in general the preference/requirement most prevalent is that the guy be "as tall or a bit taller" than the woman. That means that men 5'4" (the US average for women) and shorter will face statistically significant more disadvantages in dating (usually measured by median count of sexual partners). In fact, a 5'6" man will statistically have the same number of lifetime sexual partners as a 6'1" man (based on median). Will height make it easier for the tall man? Of course, but there are enough other attractive qualities, on balance, for shorter men to have that across the population of men height is not a determinant factor.

DareyFathom · 2020-05-17T17:37:03+00:00

The last 8 U.S. presidents have all been over 6 feet tall.

Not true. GW Bush and Carter were both under 6'. Also reach is of primary importance over height in MMA and the NBA. So while height often correlates to reach, there can be massive discrepancies. For instance, I am 69.5" tall and have a 73.75" wingspan.

dylang92 · 2020-05-17T21:08:48+00:00

In dating? Well for casual sex the shorter you are the less likely you will be able to get casual sex because women tend to only do it with tall or average height men unless these short men are exceptionally handsome. For LTRs it doesn’t matter as much as many people say, take it from a short man with an average face, if I can find LTRs easily then anyone can.

PickleLine · 2020-05-17T17:04:56+00:00

More important than face but only up to a certain point. If you're under 5'11, you will gain a lot of points for every inch you get closer to 5'11 but men who are over 5'11 don't get additional benefit from more height.

Five_Decades · 2020-05-18T14:50:01+00:00

as a tall man, height alone has never really done much for my prospects from what I've seen.

I think its more that women reject short guys more than they desire tall guys.

learnfemalenature · 2020-05-18T22:34:39+00:00

A 6’5” man doesn’t necessarily have as much or any advantage as a 6’1” guy. You could make the argument 6’5” is “too tall.”

There are diminishing returns when it comes to height; do you really think the tallest man in the world is going to make a woman wet strictly because he’s 8 feet or whatever? Of course not.

The majority of men who are under average female height may struggle more with the ladies on the looks level but that’s only one part of the story.

Men can compensate with social status whether it be economic status or confidence/swag and there are numerous instances where the 5’5” smooth talking ladies man with swag takes your girl.

Moral of the story: Being 6’0” can’t hurt you however you must bring more to the table to be able to keep the ladies around then simply height.

And no, just because a guy is 6’5” doesn’t mean he’s going to take your girl.

As long as your girl doesn’t think you’re short, if she’s 5’5” and you’re 5’8” with other attractive qualities in her eyes (the good enough factor) good luck to the 6’5” guy trying to take your girl.

P.S. Why sit around and worry about whether you’re tall enough? Focus on the areas of life you can control, and how tall you end of being isn’t one of them.

xXxINCELFAGGOTxXx · 2020-05-17T21:43:19+00:00

It's important to be taller than majority of men in your region.

Christian_Kong · 2020-05-17T20:24:42+00:00

From what I have observed with super successful guys face is by far the first factor, followed by body fitness with height being probably coming after that. I think it's almost a universally attractive trait for women but certainly not the most important one.

sadomasochrist · 2020-05-17T20:06:22+00:00

https://external-preview.redd.it/ENc86v9cGKwxBpiNSFlE4t7yNu65qjEAmz-V2q5aVD0.png?auto=webp&s=d24ee076763c6ef6f7d07225edaaa8266c0d4433

GennyX · 2020-05-18T03:10:54+00:00

Very. It’s very difficult to date someone over 6 foot. I prefer below that.

TreatyOfGhent88 · 2020-05-18T11:27:52+00:00

My girlfriend and I consistently had this back and forth in college:

Her: he’s hot! Me: is he hot or is he just tall? Her: hm

rosmaskinen · 2020-05-18T16:45:06+00:00

I think I might be somewhat sheltered, or ignorant, to how much men's height matter in dating. I'm of average height, 170cm/5'7 (slightly below average height where I live AFAIK) and I've dated a significant amount of men that have been around the same height as me. A 6'1 guy thats my type and more interesting is far more attractive than a slightly less attractive 6'5. My only problem is when a guy fails in making me feel feminine or tries to discourage me from wearing heels, to which I'm sympathetic b/c it sure looks like there is a lot of pressure on men to be tall, but at the same time – if someone's gonna neg me for not being shorter I'm out.

I wonder whether being raised in a family where the men are more or less giants might be a part of why one is more relaxed about it? My father is just slightly below 2 meters/around 6'6 (?) and so are most of my uncles and cousins on that side.

Rubbi23 · 2020-05-19T00:58:37+00:00

Height is important but other things are more important: -health (weight) -having a decent job &/or ambitions -not being an asshole -being risk averse / not a reckless idiot -not having tasteless tattoos -hygiene

mrsrobinsonxox · 2020-05-19T17:55:57+00:00

I am 5'11. When guys are 1/2"+ shorter than me, it seems like they've never liked me and have really never approached me. I'm 50, and it's been this way my whole life. At the same time, I prefer men who are my height or taller. It's not "on purpose," and I don't count out men who are shorter than me. It just happens. Just this old mom's 2 cents.

readbackcorrect · 2020-05-25T03:22:08+00:00

Not as important as I always thought. When I was young, I had many suitors and I knew that most men found me attractive. I was 5’4” and weighed about 120 pounds (frame of reference) and when I first met the man who became my husband, I admit that I automatically ruled him out because he was 5’2”. But I was in a situation where I was going to run into him regularly, and he was so personable, confident, and absolutely knew how to approach a woman. And then I noticed that he was 150 pounds of solid muscle. Plus his voice was awesome! Kind of a Sam Elliott voice. Over the course of a couple of months, he talked me into dating him, but he was never high pressure or stalkerish. He would just say “you need to give this a chance, and you won’t be sorry.” But then he’d walk away like it was no big deal either way. Yes, I was as shallow as most young women are, but he felt I had the potential to look deeper and I am glad he was patient with me. Well, I am old now, we’ve been married for a long time and I have never regretted giving him a chance. He is everything a woman could want and more. Never rule a guy out because of height. You could be missing out on the best thing that could ever happen to you. But also keep in mind, he had what it takes to back up his claims. The man had skills! I am not talking just in the bedroom. I mean he knows how to do things that matter. He knows what he can do and he knows his limits (although really he doesn’t have many). So he’s not a fake. He’s the real thing. That’s crucial. And no, he’s not a big earner and never has been, but he always made sure that we had what we needed.

saladfingers4141 · 2020-05-17T20:06:23+00:00

The CEO thing is somewhat a non accurate representation of importance of height in society. Most CEOs aren’t self made, they are from well off families who are white and who could afford prestigious schools. If you’re Caucasian and come from a historically wealthy family that has benefited from generations of higher quality nutrition you are going to be taller than your average joe.

123456700000 · 2020-05-17T18:26:42+00:00

I am 6ft tall female. And while there is nothing wrong with dating a guy that’s my height or shorter, I would still like to date someone that is taller and bigger than me. Just because I don’t wanna feel like a giant next to my SO. I can see myself dating tall and fit guy just because I am tall and fit. I think that’s pretty reasonable. Again, no hate for shorter guys, there is a lot of hot guys out there that are shorter than me and I would totally date them. But ideally I prefer tall.

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Willow-girl · 2020-05-17T22:39:56+00:00

I like men as close to my height as possible, as long as he's not gonna be insecure when I occasionally wear heels and tower over him, lol.

Mimoxs · 2020-05-17T17:28:57+00:00

It depends. It matter more actually for your interactions with men, as most CEOs are tall and men tend to put other men who are taller in power positions

Meanwhile there will always be women who prefer shorter men

Pola_Lita · 2020-05-17T17:57:50+00:00

Just how hard do women select for height? Would a 6’5” guy have a significant advantage over a 6’1” guy, even if the 6’1” guy is smarter or more fit? Is there diminishing returns, where as long as you aren’t really short it doesn’t matter much? Discuss.

There's no answer to this except "It depends." It depends on her height. It depends on her preference. It depends on her attraction to the individual man related to his other characteristics.

Asking that the man have a high salary is an even bigger red flag, and will deter wealthy men who fear gold diggers

This can depend on how long the man has had his money or just his experience of having it. A woman with money may want to be similarly cautious.

Krychek26 · 2020-05-17T18:00:59+00:00

My boyfriend is shorter than I am and it took me well over a year to even notice. Character is destiny.

TheonuclearPyrophyte · 2020-05-18T00:28:24+00:00

I would argue that in terms of physical features in a guy, it's definitely the most important feature. But the real reason it is important is because it's a qualifier, women are incredibly uncompromising about height and what they call "preferences" are usually requirements. The worst of it all is that a short guy can really do nothing to change it, apart from breaking his legs and risk life while paying thousands of dollars, which I predict will happen more and more as this Tinder craze grows.

ChadThundagaCock · 2020-05-18T01:36:34+00:00

Face matters more as long as you are at least average height. Shorter than about 5'8 and it gets harder, but I have known short Chads. It's not the end all be all.

GenericExpat · 2020-05-18T03:54:15+00:00

5'8 here, the women who did date me ALL graduated to taller men. Standards only rise over time. I have made career decisions based on average height of candidate countries (Netherlands and Denmark went right out the window) ever since I became fully cognisant of The Manlet Question.

HDauthentic · 2020-05-18T06:45:44+00:00

Only 3.9% over 6’2”? I’d like to thank my pops once again.

TheonuclearPyrophyte · 2020-05-19T16:42:22+00:00

I feel like a broken record saying this, but it depends on the woman. Women on Tinder and Twitter do NOT represent all or even most women. They represent the worst women, which you shouldn't be interested in anyway. You can do better.

Of course I want a man who is taller than me, but that doesn't mean I want a TAALLLL man. My husband is a good height for me - roughly 4 to 6 inches taller than me - and anything taller is just gross. Unless the individual is on TV and I can't really see how tall they are.

Skin, hair, teeth, muscles, morals, intelligence, agility, and humor are much more important to me than maximum height. And I'm not the only woman who feels this way. Of course you probably won't believe those women though, because they aren't the vocal minority on toxic-ass social media. Damn shame too. Far too many good men fear for their prospects just because they ain't 6' or taller.

vanhookjon · 2020-05-20T14:47:53+00:00

To put it into perspective, being tall is like having big ass and big tits for a woman but seen as even sexier tham that by women so sexy that it becomes a deal breaker if you arent at least 5'11, its a very attractive sexual trait men possess, seperates the friends from the lovers

2020-05-21T20:25:34+00:00

Height is mostly a social construct. What I mean by that is many people above 6'0 have attitudes and confidence that women find attractive. I gurantee you if a 5'9 guy has the same confidence, dresses better, and has a more attractive face than a 6'2 guy, he will be seen as more attractive. However, it also depends on the height of the woman. Also, men under 5'8 and men over 6'2 are primarily affected by height because it becomes part of their personality, for better or worse.

mashakos · 2020-05-23T18:45:23+00:00

I hate the world for not telling me this in my early 20s: women are attreacted to competency and ability over everything else. That does not mean they are attracted to a job or money, they feel attraction to a man who manages to be really great at something thats hard to acgieve. Stereotypically thats a high status career in a high pressure field or sports but it could also be a man who is so good at pottery hes travelled the world showcasing his work and has managed to succeed on his own through his passion with success markers like a car and house etc.

Thing is women also fall for someone who has the potential of achieving great things so you don't have to feel like shit if you havent arrived yet. As long as you can display that your drive and ability are leading you to an interesting/successful life you can pull. If youre in STEM you're going to have to find another passion to showcase your ability tho. Women see STEM as "safe" and wont put stemlords in the achiever category unless they already have success markers to show

EDIT: In a round about way im saying that you can overcome height or looks if you can display that you have the ability to achieve and succeed. Ability and success signify a man who potentially lives an interesting life to a woman

2020-05-27T07:02:59+00:00

If you are short man, then you have to agree to be the butt of the jokes in most social settings. Or else you will be labeled as an insecure shorty with Napolean complex. I'm a 5'4 and this is one of the main reasons I never made any friends in college and socialized let alone dating anyone.

Sparkmetodeath · 2020-06-13T02:55:18+00:00

Height specifics first came to be from tinder. You spend too much time on tinder, so it looks like a bigger issue than it is.

slavicgypsygirl · 2020-05-17T17:19:55+00:00

Height is sexually attractive to me as a 5'9 girl who wears heels & likes being towered over by men

psychedelictree_ · 2020-05-17T17:46:01+00:00

I can't date men too tall because i'm smol and its too awkward. My bf is 8 inches taller at 5'10 and that suits me just fine. I get what is to me a super tall bf and he gets a cute little gf who he feels huge around

MooseKabo0se · 2020-05-17T21:18:52+00:00

You just have to be noticeably taller than the girl. My short male friends just date shorter girls ¯_(ツ)_/¯. The 6' tall thing is kind of a meme and most girls would believe anyone who says they're 6 feet if they're taller than them. It's not like we carry rulers around.

Freevoulous · 2020-05-17T20:44:03+00:00

It only important to be average or above average. After that, game takes over. An average man outgames a tall man if his skills are tight.

lioninapartydress · 2020-05-17T21:14:56+00:00

Doesn’t bother me at all. Obviously SOME women really care but some men also won’t date taller women, so I feel like it evens out. I’m 5’6 and up until my current boyfriend who is basically 6’0 I’ve dated people the same height/smaller than me. Usually they have a complex about it which is the downside. Or lie about their height or something else weird. But yeah, none of my male friends are gargantuan and I still see them dating. I don’t know where everyone else is living or dating but where I am it’s no big deal, unless someone is superficial, but men can be just as superficial so 🤷🏻‍♀️

arcticshqip · 2020-05-17T17:58:55+00:00

Height doesn't really matter for short women like me. My ex was 164 and my current husband is 173 and they are both noticeably taller than me so I never paid attention to height .

relish5k · 2020-05-17T23:26:35+00:00

I think it's the female equivalent of good boobs. I've dated mostly tall guys, but had a long relationship with a shorter guy (5'8), and casually dated guys as short as 5'5-6. But the short guys had other compelling qualities - good looking, charming, charismatic.

You definitely notice a tall guy more, and he doesnt have to "win you over" in the same way. My husband is 6'2 and I approached him first because of his height, hair and looks. I also dated a guy for a long time who was not quite as good looking but was 6'4, which was appealing in its own way.

So height matters, but it's not everything. That said I have never been involved with a man my height or shorter (5'4)

wtknight · 2020-05-17T23:36:57+00:00

If you're taller than a woman than you have a good chance of attracting her if you have a good face and good confidence, so I don't think that it's all that important other than that it increases the pool of women who might be attracted to you. Some women might even date a guy a bit shorter if he is very good-looking and very charismatic.

oOGrumblesOo · 2020-05-18T01:04:50+00:00

Women are more attracted to social status than anything else. Being tall and standing out from other males creates the illusion of high social status.

Dr-Beardface_ · 2020-05-18T03:08:58+00:00

I'm 5 ' 8, with what maybe a half inch difference throughout the day. I like guys that are taller than me, i think its very attractive. I can't objectively explain why, although I may know where it stems from (I can comment more on that if you're interested).

I do think there is a threshold height that gives men an advantage socially/ romantically wise, which is probably 6 ft. But from then on, 6 ft 1 vs 6ft 5 doesn't really matter to me. And I would chose the more attractive/ clever guy in your scenario. But that's not to say i think shorter men are ugly/undesirable/whatever , but realistically I probably wouldn't have them as romantic interests unless they have another extraordinary ability/characteristic. To add to this, in my personal experience, men who were shorter than me have told me directly or as jokes/comments that I shouldn't wear heels, that I'm too tall for them, that I should give them a break. So apparently it's enough to make them feel insecure.

Maybe for short women it's not so much about being 6ft or taller, but rather in a specific height difference between their partners and themselves. But honestly thats just me speculating, as it's not something we actively discuss among girlfriends.

In regards to sports/martial arts height will give someone an obvious advantage in most of them (although there are outliers). In my experience of being a Karateka , long legs help me reach an opponent faster, my reach when striking is wider, etc. I also swim, so I the whole "longer lever" thing supposedly facilitates that too.

2020-05-18T12:49:12+00:00

it's not about being tall.

it's about NOT being short.

as long as you are around average height then your height shouldn't stop you with the vast majority of girls.

it's when you go into short territory that it becomes a point against you.

and obviously it's a point for you when you go into tall territory along as you're not freakishly tall

I for example am 5'8 and Its generally fine and I can still get girls taller than me. like it doesn't stop me. but obviously it would help if I was taller.

Winesday_addams · 2020-05-19T17:41:49+00:00

Plenty of people prefer short men. We just don't talk about it because the guys are usually self conscious. Like I would hate it if I felt bad about my weight but had a boyfriend who always talked about how he liked me chubby or something.

robot3000_01 · 2020-05-17T19:31:27+00:00

It's not important at all. As long as your at least 5'7 and taller than the women whatever your height.

There's simply not enough men with good faces to go around

ajuehahwhqgGqgwgqf · 2020-05-17T20:08:36+00:00

Height casts a wider net so do big tits on females.

There are more important traits like a good face and winning charm, but it does makes women feel feminine to be with a tall man as long as he doesn’t tower over her. As with titties, too much mass is too much mass and it’s embarrassing to be seen with a giant or a life support system for a pair of jugs.

I’m also tiny so I avoid bodybuilders but I am a sparkplug so to be able to feel feminine at all, I need at least a head over my own height in a boyfriend. It makes me feel cute and tall men like spinners.

Title	Just how important is height really?
Author	fightforfreedom321
Upvotes	29
Comments	385
Date	May 17, 2020 4:49 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/glipiw/just_how_important_is_height_really/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/just-how-important-is-height-really.665901 https://theredarchive.com/post/665901

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