Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck

BudgetSeaworthiness1 · 2020-06-08T00:36:54+00:00

[deleted]

Troy016 · 2020-06-07T23:18:36+00:00

Yea if your unattractive you basically have to appeal to what females find attractive to stand a chance.

DeepCrimsonPill · 2020-06-08T00:51:58+00:00

The problem isn't the advice, but because it still maintains the burden of performance. That our feelings of vulnerability and negativity aren't valid, and we must continue turning the grindstone, hopefully becoming a high status, talented man in the process. If we fail at improving ourselves, or enter the dark abyss so we can't really try anymore, women are not only apathetic to our issues, but absolutely disgusted.

I actually agree with the advice. Women sure as shit don't give a fuck about you, so you might as well create. But women's fickle love is a very ugly thing. At least men are ashamed of their horndogism - women judge men via hypergamy, and shame the loser.

loke2dabrain · 2020-06-07T23:14:44+00:00

What about you do things cause you like to and stop caring about what women think.

AbyssinianLion · 2020-06-07T23:29:04+00:00

Most men that have adult responsibility and expectations dont have a spare few hours a day to start cool hobbies so they can attract a certain demographic of artsy women . You can tell teenage dudes to do this, since they still have the luxury of boredom to entertain different hobbies, but once you start working, maintaining time consuming hobbies, let starting new exciting hobbies that require a ton of initial time and financial investment isnt realistic. For example, I had to stop piano lessons at the ripe old age of 22 when I became a late bloomer because my piano teacher wanted me to devote at least 5 hours of playing time per a day and I couldnt handle working, uni, piano practice, plus all the other responsibilities I was required to do. Overloading yourself, just so then you might appeal to some girl is stupid. Its not even a sure thing itll even work. Things like gym that have a lower time investment but higher chance of achieving results make more sense. Its also a great stress reluever. I wished my parents gave me piano or guitar lessons when I was younger though. Shit just gets harder as you get older.

TheLotusLover · 2020-06-08T01:21:51+00:00

The moment I saw "slam poetry" I knew this post was indeed retarded

DangZagnut · 2020-06-07T23:23:42+00:00

One should care about their health, but RP is still simping.

I realize this is an unpopular opinion, but if you're doing RP for anything other than self-benefit you're simping for pussy and worship pussy on a pedestal.

If you like playing moody guitar because it adds something to your life, or play D&D because you enjoy it, great, but if you're doing any of those things for the sole purpose of trying to peacock for pussy, you're a thirsty weak simp bitch.

Again, unpopular opinion.

If you're chasing pussy, you're already a weak thirsty bitch. And every "improvement" just puts another brick on the church of pussy worship.

If you want to be the world's greatest track and field star to be a gold medal olympian, hats off to you for greatness, but if all you do is go there to fuck the gymnasts, you're just a pussy worshipping bitch building your little church to pussy worship in.

All those guys won't be holding frame they'll fall and become beta simps. Always.

Again, unpopular opinion. I'm all about RP and bettering yourself, care about your health, become strong and lean and watch what you eat, become educated and knowledgeable, have a meaningful career or enjoy what you do to be independent and pay your bills, absolutely great.

And if some pussy walks by and shows interest, that's one thing. Pussy should be a side item in the "would you like fries with that" kind of way, it should never be your end goal, or in the slightest distract you from what you're trying to achieve, dreams or otherwise.

Pussy is a side dish. You don't go to a restaurant, order the steak, hold the steak, and just get the side item of steamed vegetables.

This is a metaphor to you idiot vegans. I know you eat rabbit food. So shut it. I'm sure you order the steamed vegetables while we talk and you get to watch chunks of cow meat spitting out of my mouth as we converse with a mouthful of meat.

Again, not a popular opinion with RP. But it's simping. The second you're doing things, specifically to get pussy, you've identified yourself as both a simp, and a pussy worshipping bitch.

Build that church. Worship that pussy. It sure does make you a real man.

bythegrapevines · 2020-06-07T23:30:49+00:00

This is my thought process as well. TRP quite literally has a rulebook that guys need to follow to the T in order to attract women- many of these “rules” completely contradict some dude’s natural personalities. I’ve talked with enough redpillers one-on-one to know that many of them HATE playing that role but do it “because it works”.

Barely-moral · 2020-06-07T23:27:32+00:00

WHAT IF YOU SUCK?

Then stop being yourself (my choice) or go your own way (Not for me).

Seriously though, the men that care more about being themselves even if they are unattractive than they care about being with a woman have my respect. I lack that strength.

dsands652 · 2020-06-08T00:25:49+00:00

Lol slam poetry and community theater. Notoriously lame

ThinkerBunny · 2020-06-08T01:10:41+00:00

Because having and displaying emotions isn't the same thing as being yourself? Or how about, suggesting to display emotions in a way that is attractive to women and will listen is disgusting and degrading? A person in that instance, fawning over the brooding poet or angsty musician, gives zero shits about the person and what they're going through, the concern isn't genuine, and the adoring person is looking at them as a sexual object, not a suffering human being. Both y'all tone-deaf.

AidsVictim · 2020-06-08T06:24:24+00:00

So while I’m not shocked that plenty of guys are like “nah, moody guitar player ...it’s not for me”, I am surprised at the responses that were basically saying “if a woman doesn’t like me exactly as I am, then too bad”. I agree to some extent with “be yourself”, but seriously though, WHAT IF YOU SUCK?

I feel like the best part of the red pill philosophy, self improvement, is over around here. The red pill says if you look like a weakling, lift. If you’re fat, lose weight. If you dress like shit, get some clothes that fit. Does this not extend into personality too, or is TRP just dead around here?

Changing ones personality is difficult (especially as adult), more so than going to the gym or whatever. Picking up an art for the sake of getting women and not because you have a passion for it is alienating. Should you do it? If you have the willpower and that's what makes you happy sure. But it seems pretty easy to see why people would be resistant to this - they want a real human relationship based on their "genuine"/"natural" personality, not one they fell is predicated on a performance that resembles labour.

but seriously though, WHAT IF YOU SUCK?

Female attraction is not a very good indicator of the quality or virtues of a person outside of that context.

OXOzymandias · 2020-06-07T23:19:30+00:00

A dude seeking dating advices on the internet, sucks....

That why we are telling them that they shouldnt be in fact themself....otherwise they would not be here

Even today, i kinda wear a mask with "normies" tbh

smolhomie · 2020-06-07T23:05:34+00:00

Being a good dungeon master requires you to be a good speaker, storyteller and problem solver.

ILikeToArgueALot · 2020-06-08T06:48:58+00:00

Really we had to make a 2nd thread about this? You didn't learn from the first one?

No one is saying don't improve.

The first post implied channeling sadness into a hobby will solve all your problems. Which it doesn't. Putting your sadness into a song doesn't stop the pain - it just makes money. Theres a reason why rappers that rap about addiction end up overdosing. The song didn't conquer their demons.

Theres a reason why women say body shaming makes them gain more weight rather than losing it. Because low self esteem makes it harder to stick to your goals.

I am also a creative person. I have made a few famous independant games and I can tell you right now being depressed and miserable makes the process 100x harder and makes me lose motivation. Depression breeds depression and its a hard hole to dig yourself out of.

The red pill improve yourself is a good philosphy but people forget when you hit depression and are trying hard every day and then still fail. It leads to suicide. Theirs a reason why 85% of suicides are male. Because when we fail their is no where out. Theres no one to blame except ourselves. When we fail, we are seen as a loser by society. Which leads to not getting married, not getting a partner.

When women fail their will always be a man to marry them. Women don't have to self improve like men do. So they will never understand.

All in all. Yeah men should always aim to self improve but that means a woman will never truly love you for you. They only love what lifestyle you can provide.

celincelin · 2020-06-08T06:54:37+00:00

surprised HOW negative

Today you learned men prefer to be viewed as flawed human beings and not dancing monkeys.

washington_breadstix · 2020-06-08T00:34:43+00:00

They kinda have a point.

"Just be yourself" actually means "Don't pretend to be something you're not". Because pretending to be something you're not, and trying to fit into some imaginary role in your head that you don't fit into naturally, is just about the worst approach you can take. It's completely transparent and cringe-worthy.

If some guy who has no interest in slam poetry were to attempt it as a way to get chicks, it would be completely obvious that he's in it for that reason and he will not end up getting chicks unless he was already capable of it due to his other traits.

In other words, faking a passion for something "artsy" will not add to a guy's attractiveness in the way that actually having that passion will. And people can easily tell the difference.

TheBookOfSeil · 2020-06-08T01:06:04+00:00

"Unless you suck" is pretty subjective.

While there are some traits that nobody is going to find attractive (damaged, jaded, jealous, resentful, conceited, etc.), there are still some regular people who just never picked up on "what the opposite sex finds attractive" so they never learned how to be a "yourself" that the opposite sex would like.

It's also important to note that people can be generally liked by the opposite sex, which seems to be the most desirable, but it's really not necessary and is still faced with the same problem of not being able to find what you're looking for.

For example, anyone who denies that women have it easier in the dating world is grossly mistaken and probably delusional, but with that ease also comes more problems. Now, it's not just a few unwanted dicks that a woman has to sift through - it's a few thousand, which is why women have to filter out so many guys and why the become the also resentful and abrasive people that they sometimes present themselves as to most guys, and this leaves men with the impression "Wow, what a bitch. She sucks."

Imagine not ever thinking that a shitty personality could be created as a reaction to the world around someone instead of them just being born that way.

Both men and women are guilty of lacking perspective of the other side, and if that gap could be bridged, it might foster greater understanding and better relationships between us, but the main problem is that everyone is both selfish and defensive as a result, so in some ways people have to suck, either because they're protecting themselves, or because they just do.

"JuSt BeComE sOMeOnE eLSe/gEt OveR iT BRO" is always easier said than done.

akihonj · 2020-06-08T07:32:44+00:00

Ok so do you say the same to women, are you willing to say to a woman, sorry you aren't perfect, you aren't healthy at any size, you aren't beautiful big, no none of that you're just a fat mess and need to sort your shit out.

Here's the thing, I responded to her post myself, the point I made was, channelling your anger into something that gets you women is by any measure creepy, at best, and if you really think that little of women then yeah that's something you can do, most men actually don't think that little of women and most men know that women are just a bit smarter than that and know when somebody is doing it to vent their anger and at the same time doing it purely to attract women.

Here's the thing, she alone finds those types attractive, maybe its some sort of saviour complex, or maybe she is just damaged in some other way. I really don't care.

At best the post was a perspective post because what then, more men doing that means more for her to try to choose from, all the way through her 20s until enough have been with her that she becomes that much more jaded and damages herself.

My point was originally that men have tried to do things to help themselves and every single time they do they, we, get shut down. The feminist argument usually show your emotions, when you do you're weak and needy, when you don't your toxic.

This is religiously applied by most women, studies themselves have shown that when men do show their emotions they are judged more harshly by women as weak and less masculine, less trustworthy etc.

Added to that point was the point I made about how when men, try to work through things, some of those things being their relationships with women, it's usually women who want them to stop working through it, it's usually women who want those men to shut up about it. Why is that I wonder.

So I think the very last thing men need is to have a woman make a post under the guise of helpful advice which is really there to help her satisfy her own masturbatory fantasies.

What men actually need is a place where they can vent about those things which damage them, away from women where, if women being the issue they can work through without being called mysoginystic for doing so. Without being judged by women because women are not involved in any way.

This cannot be an idea for what a woman finds attractive, nor can it be a therapy for what women would choose because again studies have shown that in the vast majority of cases the therapy that women choose does not work for men.

However, while I agree that channelling that anger in some way is a good idea, it needs to be totally understood here, in the vast majority of cases mental health for men, has been defunded or stopped in favour of women, with men having the only options of nothing or choosing something that has been proven to help women but had little to no benefits for men.

If women really want to help then, given they have campaigned so hard to get the funding this way, why not ask that some funding be diverted to help men, it's women after all who get three times the medical spending compared to men at a conservative estimate.

I can talk of at least ten male mental health schemes that started with the exclusive aim of helping men, men's sheds, men's camps. Both exclusive male spaces designed to get men into environments where no woman was involved so that men could bond and vent and work through their issues doing manly type things.

Men's sheds stopped because their were sued by women for not admitting women, within six months most closed because when women got involved men stopped going, why, some women used it as another way to get men, women going complained of sexism, well what do you expect to find if a man has an issue with his ex-wife and he's going there to vent about it.

Men's camps shut down, why, again it was an idea that men could go camping, do survival skills and live off the land for a few days and bond with other men around the camp fire, vent and exercise their demons. Again they were sued by women's groups for excluding women.

So if women really want to help men then stop shutting down men's groups, accept that if they can vent in a safe space about men, and trust me they do. Then men need a safe space to vent about women.

You cannot have it both ways I'm afraid, you cannot say express your emotions but do it in a way that I find attractive because that's what I want to see, why is that, well let's talk to all of those artists and singers and musicians who have tried it and turned up dead in a two dollar hotel room because yeah nothing says healthy like a 1000 dollar a day drug habit and dead by 30.

CentralAdmin · 2020-06-08T10:19:58+00:00

The issue with her thread wasn't that self improvement was the answer. It was that she missed the point men were making about being emotionally vulnerable.

It's one thing to be unattractive because you're overweight and live on video games, cheetos and anime. It makes sense why girlfriends would leave or women wouldn't be interested.

The issue is that when men are vulnerable women leave. This is the part where men are showing parts of their true selves and women don't like it. Men know they suck. They've been told they suck from day one. But you cannot tell them to channel their emotional issues into art for the procurement of women when even RP encourages self improvement for the benefit of the self first.

Her post and responses were condescending. You're not going to convince men that they need to change for the benefit of women, when women are the ones saying they want men to open up, only to bail because they're turned off by his vulnerability. Many men keep their feelings to themselves because it's easier that way.

It's like telling a woman with depression she should dress all emo/goth because guys find it hot.

Snoo-17065 · 2020-06-08T16:08:22+00:00

Women are not atracted to skills, mastery, high intelligence. They are atracted to what they are atracted.

In fact, there Is a certain threshold where a genius mind or too much skill can get a man in troubles. Look what Nicola Tesla had in reward for being the greatest genius in human history. Contempt, loneliness, a sad issolated life. People often thought his science was witchery so he had to move from some countries to continue with his studies. Newspappers and media of his time presented him as a crazy man with ridiculous ideas just becouse he was talking about a world 100 years ahead of that time. 90% of people never heard about Tesla, even when we own that man our entire modern world.

Look at Paganini, the greatest violin maestro in the history of music. The man who discovered ALL the armonic notes. You know why Paganini is known as "The Devil's Violinist"? He was SO FUCKING GOOD with the violin that people acused him of making pacts with the devil. Awesome reputation for a guy living in the old religious western world.

Most people today would listen to a magnificent piece of Paganini and wouldn't understand a single note, oh but "Crazy G"? "Big O Pappa and the Pepper Spays"? "Violett ShinyCunt"? Such artists.

To the guys:

If you are going to learn how to play an instrument just to get pussy, just quit man. Take some steroids and hit the gym, I guarantee you will have more success with girls. Source: me, a ripped 1,93 guitar shredder that used to play guitar at a metal band. And I swear I've never got pussy becouse I played good. And damn I'm good, but I play music becouse I love música, and I smash pussy becouse I'm ripped and 1,93.

So don't. Don't do that ugly fucking music fags do to get laid, becouse it won't work. There are a ton of fags out there doing the same, they are getting anything, guys laugh at them becouse they look like pussies and the worst of all...

They are wasting their lives doing something they don't enjoy. I know they don't becouse their music sucks.

Best advice: when it comes of what you do, you do. Yes. BE YOURSELF EVEN IF YOU SUCK. Own it. Try hard. Becouse that's what YOU want.

And if women are not milking your balls like crazy trust me it's not about you sucking, becouse hell they would be milking your broke non-talented dick if you looked like me.

Do your shit becouse is fulfilling for you. Women will do what they always do.

Nodoxxintoxin · 2020-06-07T23:03:25+00:00

[removed]

reluctantly_red · 2020-06-07T23:28:16+00:00

social, extroverted men

If you're neither you need to find another way of being attractive. Brooding somewhat dangerous loner works surprisingly well.

wtknight · 2020-06-07T23:54:43+00:00

All a guy really needs is skill and confidence at whatever he is into, although certain hobbies will attract more women than others. A really good and confident D&D dungeon master can attract a woman who is really into tabletop RPGs, but since there aren't many women relatively who are into this, his supply of women is going to be limited. The guys who want to maximize their chances at finding women should therefore try to become confident and good at things that impress the typical woman, as there are just more of them out there. Otherwise, a man should realize that it might just take longer to attract a woman.

The problem with TRP, in my mind, is that they think certain self-improvement is going to attract every woman because every woman to them has exactly the same nature. I don't really agree with this reasoning, but some of the things that they do advise will probably attract more women than what these men were doing before they found the Red Pill, although how high-quality these women will be is debatable.

ArminoKink · 2020-06-08T00:23:11+00:00

Self improvement is greatly underrated in western society these days...

bosswiththecross · 2020-06-08T01:52:49+00:00

No one sucks dude you just haven't found the best person for u yet

I'm sure out there there is a dungeons and dragons girl made for you

Nodoxxintoxin · 2020-06-08T03:43:33+00:00

[deleted]

2020-06-08T06:44:51+00:00

Self improvement isn't dead. Just don't do it for the sake of women.

I'm trying to lose weight because it improves my circulatory system and general QoL. I'm working out because it improves testosterone production which is important for energy levels. If I was going to learn to play guitar, it'd be because I like music, or I like the technical aspects of the instrument (I do still have a guitar at mum's, but I didn't get very far with it).

If women like me more for having done these things, that's a nice bonus, but I'm not doing them for women.

I won't say this is the case for everyone, but it is the case for me; if I was trying to do something explicitly to get women and for no other reason, I'd find it very difficult to find continuing motivation because the progression isn't really there.

SlashCo80 · 2020-06-08T08:41:19+00:00

Gonna go against the grain here and say self improvement is good, even if you do it just to get women. How many works of art, literature and music have been created in praise of and dedication to women? And yet everyone can enjoy them. Same for things like working out, getting healthier and improving one's wardrobe. The net result is a better you, regardless of the motivation.

Pretending to be someone you're not is where I would draw the line, though. Don't be a fake and pretend to like things she likes or participate in activities you don't normally enjoy just to meet chicks. Sooner or later the truth will come out and bite you in the ass.

Pola_Lita · 2020-06-08T00:05:18+00:00

So while I’m not shocked that plenty of guys are like “nah, moody guitar player ...it’s not for me”, I am surprised at the responses that were basically saying “if a woman doesn’t like me exactly as I am, then too bad”. I agree to some extent with “be yourself”, but seriously though, WHAT IF YOU SUCK?

This made me laugh but really, this seems to be a common attitude no matter what the person is like to start with. "She's not the boss of me!" is apparently a bigger concern than not being able to attract a women. It doesn't even make sense.

flamingoinghome · 2020-06-08T02:07:54+00:00

I think a lot of people on this sub believe that one's "personality" is this immutable and unchanging thing, and that any attempts to change it are "lying", or something. This is false. However, it's difficult--really difficult--to admit, even to yourself, that your personality could use some work.

I know people--myself included--who've put in that work, and have altered our personalities into ones we like better and that make us happier. It's tough; it's really tough. But in some ways, admitting that it's something you need to do is the hardest part.

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KapteeniJ · 2020-06-08T00:12:23+00:00

I agree to some extent with “be yourself”, but seriously though, WHAT IF YOU SUCK?

Be the best version of yourself.

Simple really.

TRP has kinda fragments of that figured out, but they try to put it all this into a very sexist nonsensical framework where the ultimate purpose of any man is to bang as many women as possible, and you have these absolutely insane ideas about women derived from how PUAs sometimes can get numbers from women on streets.

Bekiala · 2020-06-08T02:36:02+00:00

Your title made me laugh.

I kind of fall into the "don't be myself" category.

angry_ogunsoto · 2020-06-08T08:03:14+00:00

Absolutely agree with you. "Be yourself" is the worst piece of advice someone can get when he enters the dating field, because being your true self does not mean possessing an attractive personality. If for someone being himself means saying a lot of dumb shit then no he should not be himself and must try to change himself. Not everyone's character or personality is charismatic and perfect in the same way that appearance isn't perfect. Thus, someone needs to put in really hard work to change himself for the better.

ontherailstoday · 2020-06-08T08:04:36+00:00

[deleted]

MuleFool42 · 2020-06-08T14:55:04+00:00

I feel like the best part of the red pill philosophy, self improvement, is over around here. The red pill says if you look like a weakling, lift. If you’re fat, lose weight. If you dress like shit, get some clothes that fit.

All of these things are great but they should be done for the self, not to attract women. That's just not the end goal for me, and shouldn't be for most men. Women should compliment a man's life, not be the center of it.

I could care less about being the center of attention at a party for the sake of a few women's interest. That's the completely wrong motivation for me.

fakeaccount687 · 2020-06-08T23:14:59+00:00

Women just want a basic guy. Well let's be honest they dont really care about your personality just your status, wealth, and looks. If you have looks, money, status the halo effect takes place and any personality traits you have they will magically convince themselves they like.

"Chad has a slight lisp it's so cute tee hee" Vs. "Average guy has a slight lisp and it's pretty annoying."

And then women will say "well why would I want to be with a fat lazy slob?". Theres no medium to them. Either you're Chad or you're no good.

staypositivebrad · 2020-06-09T14:09:48+00:00

Generally if I'm doing a ton of work to self-improve, I'd like my reward to be something better than just you.

Most of y'all's women are bitches and while your bodies are desireable, the rest of you and everything that you drag along with you isn't. Your burden pets, your dumb friends, your boring-ass school or job, your lack-of-a-personality (only people who actually experience difficulty develop those), your Marge-Simpson HRMMMMMing over anything that's actually fun, your excessive need to be social with people who ultimately don't care about, your stupid family drama, your disgusting sexual histories.

Who the fuck wants to work hard for that?

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2020-06-09T23:02:31+00:00

Be yourself even if you do suck, too

Appomattoxx · 2020-06-08T00:11:18+00:00

Attracting women is about confidence. Where it comes from is beside the point; so long as it doesn't depend on someone else. If your confidence comes from being liked then you are not confident.

Title	Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck
Author	Nodoxxintoxin
Upvotes	147
Comments	352
Date	June 7, 2020 10:58 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/gymqgn/remember_to_always_be_yourself_unless_you_suck/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/remember-to-always-be-yourself-unless-you-suck.672509 https://theredarchive.com/post/672509

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