The sugar lifestyle finding its way into mainstream dating is something I view as unavoidable and depressing. I have read a lot about the sugar lifestyle and the women attempting to relieve their financial burdens this way are widening their search methods to find “suitable enough” men to pursue. This “filter tightening” is one of this things that separate this lifestyle from standard escorting.

If you look at sugaring through rose colored glasses, its women cashing in on beauty on their terms. Not all situations are rosy obviously but that’s for a different post. Aside from any issues of legality, sugaring appears to be more socially acceptable than escorting, less acceptable than normalized gold digging, and more lucrative longterm on average than sex cam work. It’s in this new gray area of capitalized hookup culture where regulating circumstantial intent between consenting adults seems challenging at best.

For example: In a regular couple situation, a guy might buy his new girlfriend a small diamond necklace and in return she sleeps with him. Did she sleep with him because of the transaction or because she feels more special to him because of the gift?

Muddying the situation even further is that some sugar relationships morph into traditional relationships as the couple spend more time together and grow to love each other.

The other side of this whole equation is the increasing financial burdens we face. How unlikely it is that the federal gov’t will erase massive non-cancelable college debt obligations. Increasing consumer inflation, and the cost of housing in cities that were much more affordable 15 years ago.

The changing forces in dating culture and increasing financial burdens is the incentive for this new transparent gold digging lifestyle to slowly go mainstream. In this situation, a 7/10 25F with $50k debt who might normally reject 95% of OLD matches, might just consider a perpetually dateless 5/10 35M w/ a 175k STEM job if he indicates in some subtle way that he is a very generous partner. Or, this 35M may look within the profiles of approximate looks-match women for indications she is looking for a very generous partner. Dating sites are already trying to control these types of profiles but they are ultimately reliant on sugar not becoming mainstream.

I don’t see how this doesn’t become the future and make dating even harder for average men with average or low paying jobs. The popularity of OnlyFans is the canary in the coal mine. Same sugaring, just a different service. And I see the lifestyle feeding on itself. The more normalized it becomes, the more men will have to add sugar to their dating profiles to get matches. You have women with debt, increasingly filtering dates towards her version of ideal, while xx% men with discretionary income grow increasingly lonely, but are not bold enough to enter a brothel or risk arrest with escorts. Seems like basic supply and demand.

How can this potential trend be stopped?