Watch Out for Negs and Men Who Are Jealous Of You

West_Zone · 2021-05-24T00:13:39+00:00

Idk if this counts as a proper neg, but I remember one guy who I was friendly with online (not dating/interested in him romantically) saying that I had a resting bitch face and always looked bored in pics. I was like "no, my face looks really good actually" and he was like "K" and didn't really message me much after that. LOL.

Irl, what works for me is acting really shocked at some guy believing I care about his opinion. I'm a very bubbly person and do that thing where I say something slightly "rude" but in a chirpy tone, like "You are so silly! You really think I care about your opinion?" then I laugh it off and act like what he said was absolutely ridiculous. This really shocks and upsets men because it makes them realise that they aren't the centre of your world and that you don't care about their opinion.

A popular neg is saying something about a woman's appearance. If you experience this neg, immediately say something contrary, and keep it short (don't start a discussion). Act unbothered and say something positive about the thing that he insulted. E.g. if a man snarkily says his grandma has the same shoes as you, respond by saying that his grandma has good taste. The most important thing is to show that his negging isn't getting to you.

FDS-GFY · 2021-05-23T23:54:58+00:00

One really fucking amazing thing about top tier education is that many, many men self select out. I don’t judge people for their school, but the jealous and insecure show it pretty quickly on this.

Reminds me of a story from before this relationship. I was having a drink with a date at my favorite bar where I know the bartender well-and tip well. (This has enormous benefits with dating. Highly recommended.)

Anyhoo, scrote “townie” got all up in his feels about my ritzy education and became such a jerk I had to ask him to leave.

Bartender said “gurl if you didn’t throw him out I was going to” 🤣

amanda-manda · 2021-05-23T23:21:47+00:00

Yes! This guy who worked w me and started the same position a few weeks earlier than me was always putting my work down ( and me down), really passive aggressive and non confrontational otherwise. Really annoying non stop chatter too.

I think he was a little envious of me. I think he liked me too, but that wasn't gonna happen.

I stood up for myself ( when I could, verbally) but I was trying to maintain " professionalism" There's a few things I regret not saying, ngl. I still have some anger.

millions_ofpeachs4me · 2021-05-23T23:58:02+00:00

Yep. Most recent ex expressed jealousy of my career and investing success a few months before we broke up. I should have taken it as the death knell it was. Foolishly I thought my success could eventually be our success, you know, #justpickmethings

Started OLD (gag) and a guy tried an aggressive neg off the bat. The context is important so I won’t go into detail but it hit extra hard because of the dead bedroom I had been through with ex. Pre FDS I might have responded or even met this guy for a date, like the dumb pickme I was. Post FDS and it was an immediate and satisfying block.

Twolipz_78 · 2021-05-24T01:03:15+00:00

The LVX knew how much I loved going to work and even said one time in a tone that indicated a hint of jealousy “you’re happy when you go to work”.
I couldn’t understand why he would be jealous because I work retail and he is co-owner of a land scaping business. Then again I work in a revolving door of sausage and I was constantly getting hit on and like I said, I love to go to work and his job seemed very stressful except when he got to yell at his workers.

One time he even told me “you know you have what’s considered a ‘shitty’ job”. I have the privilege of having a full time job with benefits, recognition, opportunities for advancement, a kick ass schedule and the ability to attend to family matters if needed. 🙄🙄

I think he could have also been jealous that he was so ugly and I am pretty easy on the eyes, motivated to make myself into a better version of me, funny, athletic, not cutting myself off from my family, better at sex, you know..the us’.

theterminatress · 2021-05-24T03:19:56+00:00

Jealousy from men is pretty much the reason I no longer date.

I’m tired of hearing about my “luck” in having a business, a master’s, and a few fun extras in my life. I worked hard for ALL of these things but the way they talk about it you’d think they got handed to me by a courier from God.

denimlace · 2021-05-23T23:00:04+00:00

Yes. Back in my pick me days, I used to still respond to exes who breadcrumbed me to “catch up”. I had two LVM exes who magically stopped hitting me up when I told them I got a new luxury car due to my investing successes. Lmao. Their last words were literally “but that car costs 100k?!!l”

MilkMadeMe · 2021-05-23T23:21:54+00:00

[deleted]

tactical_viper · 2021-05-24T02:06:40+00:00

I am a very aggressive go-getter woman with a large attitude. I am strong willed and nothing is intimidating to me.

My ex hated me being so strong willed and opinionated and he even mentioned at one point how much it threatened him. -insert male fragility here- He would be SO passive aggressive to me because he wasn’t typically confrontational. So I got the negging 24/7 even when I tried to stand up to something that was clearly wrong. My ex was the type to roll over and get steamrolled by life and then blame everyone else for it not turning out how he planned. He was also super insecure because I am attractive. I’m not sad I divorced him and I’ll never compromise my opinions or personality again. 💁🏻‍♀️

Professional-Ad-457 · 2021-05-23T23:22:03+00:00

I was on a first date last week and the bloke brought up something about Rod Stewart, so conversationally I said, ‘I’ve met Rod Stewart.’ He immediately said nastily, ‘Oh here we go, one of many people you’ve met I expect,’ and rolled his eyes. Actually, yes because of a previous career, but this was the first time I’d mentioned anyone to him. Made me feel small 😕. Thanks to FDS the word ‘neg’ popped into my brain.

PinturaMagnifica · 2021-05-23T23:24:47+00:00

My last LVX would call me a "nerd" anytime I would passionately talk about a subject I have a lot of knowledge in.

He was dumb as shit, so after finding FDS, it made sense lol.

LeighHolloway44 · 2021-05-24T01:20:34+00:00

Omg, yes! Was called a nerd several times and eye rolls accompanied by, “you only get these things because you’re pretty,” and “ohhhhh, the terrible life of a beautiful woman” if I was stressed out, by a NVM. Fuck him.

WornTheTshirt73 · 2021-05-24T04:26:20+00:00

Yup, I’m a career musician who plays multiple instruments, reads and plays by ear and every single partner/ boyfriend has belittled my ability, my style, my songwriting and husband even tried to get me to give up my music ... he’s now an ex ...

carmen_sandiegos_hat · 2021-05-23T23:33:54+00:00

I've said it before on this sub but I'll share again because it happens a lot. LVMs think traveling a lot or to cool places makes you a sex worker. That or you are a spoiled brat.

VikingDotter · 2021-05-24T07:57:46+00:00

My ex had very crooked, crowded teeth and he expressed jealousy over how nice my smile is and how straight and even my teeth are. He never wanted to smile with his teeth because of his insecurity.

Lo and behold, half a year into our relationship he starts calling my teeth yellow 🙄 so that I would be insecure too. I have asked people if they are yellow and everyone’s been shocked by the notion because no, my teeth aren’t yellow. Insecure bastard.

straightouttashtetl · 2021-05-23T23:03:56+00:00

Love your username.
Love being the first to block. When you're someone of the petty ilk like myself, you like getting the last word in. Now I do it by applying the block button liberally to give them a mindjob. 10/10 recommend.

laffytaggy · 2021-05-24T04:07:44+00:00

It took me a LONG time to realize men were jealous of me. I thought men would be less competitive with me but nope!

pipeuptopipedown · 2021-05-24T06:54:30+00:00

The worst is to run into it at a job interview, when the male interviewer gets threatened by the thought that you might even be *smarter than him*

nahradfam · 2021-05-24T08:03:29+00:00

Oh yes, I had a LVM friend who I now come to realise had assumed we'd get together at some point. I've always made it clear that I don't date people who live with their parents and don't have a job and guess what his situation was. Before i wised up and blocked that 'friend' he:

Told me I was a snob for having those standards

Told me my job and pay wasn't that great

Told me my house wasn't that great

Told me my weightloss hadn't made me any more attractive

Also he was porn sick and told me in all seriousness that he could be attracted to a woman or he could respect a woman but he couldn't do both.

Oh, also he was anti marriage because it's just a way for women to take men's money and sperm. Never mind that he has no money and nobody's tried to take his sperm either.

What was I thinking?!

Similarly, when my long term NVM ex and I split up his parting shot was 'you'll be fine won't you, with all that money you earn'. I think it was supposed to be a neg about how money doesn't make you happy but the extra money that came from being without a 'self employed' man who had earned £6k for the previous three years in a row certainly made me happy.

thatjimmylove · 2021-05-24T01:56:48+00:00

This is something that is so scary to me I dont understand jealousy between partners in a relationships

SnooPickles7369 · 2021-05-24T02:24:43+00:00

Ah yes, you've described my ex boyfriend. He was an LVM in hiding. We're both chefs, and we met when I was starting culinary school, I had been in the industry for a few years before officially getting my certification, and wanted to up my skill set so I could work in Europe or Asia, specifically in hotels. He never went to culinary school, yet called himself a 'chef', this should have been a red flag.

When I got a hot shot internship he was proud of me, until he realized they were paying me more than he got when starting out in the industry. He had applied to this same hotel and never got a call back. His jealousy came out anytime I spoke about my achievements. He tried to shit talk my technique whenever he could. As I progressed, I realized he had no technique or palate AT ALL. He was a glorified line cook and had never ran his own kitchen. I quickly surpassed his abilities.

The nail in the coffin was when he got a call from one of his old coworkers, asking if he could come in and help with service as their chef and sous chef had quit on the spot. He brought me with and they hired both of us. We worked together at this place for awhile, the entire time he hovered over me acting like he knew best, yet he was lazy and would always take cigarette breaks and try to leave early. I felt he was dragging me down, and making me look bad. Eventually the restaurant stopped scheduling him. They essentially replaced him with me!

This is when our relationship turned very sour, but he would never admit why. Deep down I knew he was jealous of my skills. Looking back. I realized that he tried to derail my career multiple times, telling me not to take certain jobs, not to work for certain chefs, not to get my Red Seal! He would often say the only reason I was getting attention from well known chefs was because I was hot and they wanted to fuck me. He would also say something like this everytime I got really good grades in school, as most of my chef instructors were male. He never let me have my moment in the sun. He would always attribute my success to something other than my skills. At the end of the day I realized he was just jealous that I could do something he was never able to.

I walked the fuck on once I realized this, just up and left one day with the cat while he was working. It hasn't been long, but I'm not looking back!

Emergency-Feed8216 · 2021-05-24T05:53:23+00:00

So many of my male "friends" became like this when I got engaged. That was more than 20 years ago. Still married and I have no clue what happened to those so-called friends because I ghosted them when they turned toxic. The wedding party was smaller than it might have been but happily neg-free.

CynicalSucculent · 2021-05-24T07:27:01+00:00

I've had lots of guy "friends" do this to me. Gay, straight, etc.

I used to think it was fine because I thought it meant they saw me as "one of the guys."

Never again. Nowadays I block and delete. I don't tolerate disrespect from anyone.

haunted_vcr · 2021-05-24T08:38:58+00:00

LVM are insecure swamp creatures 😂 I've had guys neg my education and job, both of which are prestigious af.

Notably, the ones who are doing as well as me or better are encouraging and respectful.

We all start in different places, and there are many ways to be successful, so I'm not measuring by arbitrary metric like paycheck, but what a person clearly built in their life with what hand they were dealt.

bringtwizzlers · 2021-05-24T06:05:48+00:00

Yes, two of my exes negged me constantly. Most recent one was dumb as shit and thought badly of college and that it was a waste of time and money. He would make fun of me constantly and downplay my degree from a top 20 US private university.

PsychologicalPay2353 · 2021-05-24T11:06:45+00:00

While this rumour about me was originally ignited by a LVW (desperate pickmeisha who literally went to engineering in hopes of getting a bf), all the guys who had no chances with me hopped on the bandwagon and spread it to every guy I ever showed an ounce of interest in.

They claimed I was gay. What was their proof?

That desperate pickmeisha had to go to the same preliminary exam in informatics as I did. We were the only two in our whole school. I had no idea where to go, so I texted her "hey do you know where the test will be held?" And I never got a reply for that. Whatever, I found it myself with the help of some professors on my way. She never came to the exam.

Turns out, she used that one message I sent her as "proof" that I was hitting on her.

I thought no single sane human being would fall for that "proof". Well, I was wrong.

Months later, I would realize that, when my sister was confronted by her and a bunch of other lowlives who apparently mocked me for being gay and showing that message around. My sister was equally as puzzled as I was, but it didn't stop those lowlives. To this day, half of her uni thinks I'm gay. I mean, whatever, lol, not like I give a damn, but seriously?

modernmedusaa · 2021-05-24T11:46:40+00:00

Yes look out for lines such as

‘Oh it must be hard being a pretty woman’

‘Pretty women always get what they want’

These are the types of men who believe women’s lives are on easy mode- they are jealous of them. They are definitely the petty type who want to knock women into place

throwmeinthebin03 · 2021-05-24T04:56:30+00:00

Yes- lovebombed me and then out of nowhere told me that my "breasts look fake" and that I "probably get botox in my lips too." He also made passive aggressive comments about "what it would be like" for someone like me "to match with everyone you swipe right on". I was totally taken off-guard and blindsided. Now I realize what was going on and I'm actually afraid of ever running into this psychopath again.

kreutzwortraetzel · 2021-05-24T12:24:00+00:00

I met a guy like that at 18 when I didn't know anything. So I was surprised and annoyed when he negged me and told me to smile and told me how I felt.

I told him he was a guy only a mother could love .

He looked hurt and I gleamed with satisfaction for the rest of the car ride to wherever.

ShegoGreen · 2021-05-24T20:18:03+00:00

I went to many family events as a teen. I dressed nice and said hi to everyone. One day I said hi to a particular person that was always there and we started a small conversation. He was probably in his late 20's. All of a sudden he said, "Hey your actually nice, I always thought you were kind of..." and paused. I didn't understand. I said, "kind of what?" He said, "I always thought you were kind of stuck up." I said, "uh, no I'm not" and brushed it off, but didn't fully understand the depth of that comment.

First of all, why does a 28 year old man care if a 16 year old girl is stuck up or not? Men are obsessed with humbling well-dressed, well spoken, confident, and beautiful girls and women.

thinktwiceorelse · 2021-05-24T14:53:43+00:00

People who say my degree is 'useless' because I'm not making six figures or I'm not a polititian or CEO or something, braging about making more money than me, even though they don't have a "useless degree". I don't really talk about my degrees at all. So I just say:"Good for you", and change the topic and ideally, leave.

Katherinekasper1 · 2021-05-24T00:55:06+00:00

Yaaas . I was such a pick me putting up with scrote bois . Never again sister

Impossible_Mud_7599 · 2021-05-24T19:52:03+00:00

You mean every guy I meet?

😝😜

_mooness · 2021-05-24T14:51:29+00:00

Yes, just a couple days ago he showed his true colors, I got a coveted internship while he’s stuck with some shitty unpaid internship and he commented on my picture on Instagram “You look like you work for __”

In and of itself that’s not necessarily an insult, but said company is known for being nerdy and techie so I believe he meant it as an insult

fancypantsdance92 · 2021-05-26T02:06:57+00:00

On a language course with work. I also went to the gym more often than them. The four guys on my course responded by bullying me like little school children.

Aced that fucking course though.

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