Women don't actually care that much about being "pumped and dumped." If they did, they would withhold sex until receiving whatever degree of commitment they want to be tied to sex.

nathaniel_new · 2021-07-24T22:38:36+00:00

I think women care when they want a genuine relationship. But if a woman is having sex with guys putting in no effort and guys she view just as sex objects. I have no sympathy for her getting pumped and dumped by the guys she want to treat like "boy friend material." Most guys want to have sex even if they want a relationship, so if you want to put guys in categories and they dont conform to your expectations, oh well.

pongaminbloom · 2021-07-24T22:10:30+00:00

Yes, they care. Their mistake many of them make is that they think sex is part of an an audition for commitment. Men often require no strings to start out with, claiming that if it "works out" it will lead to what she is seeking. That's a lie. If they are able to pressure you into sex without commitment, they will lose respect and use you.

A lot of men will also fake commitment. They will say "I love you", treat her like a girl friend, call her their girlfriend, and even talk about marriage if it will help them get sex. Then they will pump and dump her without the faintest emotion. "Relationship" means nothing.The only commitment that really has value is is marriage.

Aldabruzzo · 2021-07-24T21:57:55+00:00

Right conclusion, wrong reasoning.

Women don't care that much about getting pumped and dumped, but it's not because they always want commitment before the guy pumps and dumps her.

It's because they really like the casual sex with the very hot guys that pump and dump them.

Women get mad at being pumped and dumped only when a man they think is beneath them lies to them about being interested in more than sex. She had sex with him solely to get commitment from him. She had sex with him while lying to HIM and feigning interest in HIM for the sole purpose of extracting commitment. So she doesn't have clean hands here. When "Mr. Less Attractive Possible Commitment Guy" has sex with her and dumps her, THAT is when she gets mad.

They don't care that much about being pumped and dumped because they like casual sex, not because they want something. It's only when Possible Commitment Guy pumps and dumps her that she gets salty about it.

creativecreatureoff · 2021-07-24T23:01:06+00:00

Some of us waited till marriage. I don’t know how feasible this is for dating in the 20s and so on. Also loooooong dating relationships could not do this either.

Taipanshimshon · 2021-07-24T20:46:52+00:00

Women start complaining about being pumped and dumped when they leverage their vagina for a relationship.

If they would leverage the things men want from women Other than sex they would get dumped less.

Also they tend to get dumped by men out of their league as far as relationships.

The equivalent is guys who get constantly friendzoned.

cvslengthbucketlist · 2021-07-24T21:14:24+00:00

Exchanging one risk for another doesn't mean you don't care about being harmed by the outcomes of your choices. We make these kinds of decisions in all other aspects of life, but that doesn't absolve the offending party of responsibility. At worst it just means we have bad judgment and that we should learn from our mistakes.

YorozuyaSoulForever · 2021-07-24T20:36:45+00:00

I am 23 still a virgin because I never had the luck of having someone who likes me back and wanted to commit, however I think my virginity is not a trophy or triumph card, it’s just my personal decision to keep me safe. All I can do is hope for the best and try when I feel it’s right, but I do care and that’s for everyone to decide on their own. No need to generalise what women do or not, decide for yourself and let people be.

SonicBackScratcher · 2021-07-24T21:47:22+00:00

Women like sex.

Women like commitment.

Women understand it might not work

Women don't like being lied to.

Pump and dump means she was led on to think it might be a relationship. Dating for two months and breaking up isn't a pump and dump.

Women are often just fine with causal sex if it's upfront.

Correct_Leek_1875 · 2021-07-24T22:11:08+00:00

Why do you think women want sex just so the guy fall in love with her? Haven’t you consider the fact that women also want orgasms?

NameGiver0 · 2021-07-25T01:24:34+00:00

It depends on the woman. I have a friend who introduces herself to ONSes as “Don’tcallmetomorrow”.

2021-07-25T08:20:17+00:00

Women ´dump´ as much as men do. It´s a bit of a myth that men want sex and women want commitment.

level20000 · 2021-07-26T01:56:27+00:00

I haven't ever had casual sex so I can't really claim to be like women who do, but I do know that a lot of women are brought up to chase casual sex because it's "cool" or somehow "liberating". For ex, with my white female friends, it was just the norm for them. They weren't really shamed for it the way women in my circles would have been. Honestly, I could have done that in high school too or university, but I was religious and just didn't even want to.

All I know is that men encourage it a lot. And media encourages it a lot. The idea of the "FWB that leads to more" has been pushed on women for a long time. The idea that just giving a man sex = commitment is another idea that has been pushed on women. It's the patriarchy.

Modern, western, white women feminism is a huge problem, in my opinion, and I don't think it's the opposite of the patriarchy (I think both go hand in hand). I have nothing against other women choosing things that work for them, but casual sex has always been an issue for me. I remember the years of being a virgin, and not wanting to have sex before a certain stage (marriage), and feeling so hopeless because it felt like i had to have sex to have a man, as they were so used to women giving it up for free. It kept me out of dating for a while.

What ended up happening was that my values, when I spoke them, actually were a net positive. The thing though is that because I'm rebellious at heart (and was religious in my really super young years), I went against the grain of hooking up, which was the norm where I grew up. I never really gave a shit about appeasing the male ego via sex, so that helped me... but a lot of women are lost on this. I can see it changing slightly with gen Z but their women also behave like men sometimes, soooooo I'm not entirely sure how much hope I have for them.

tickledpic · 2021-07-24T20:30:31+00:00

No. Pumped and dumped reffers to a woman having the impression (often carefully crafted by the man) that she is having a relationship and the man ending that relationship after one or few instances of sex. They very much so care about avoiding that.

If the man was upfront and straightforward about only wanting sex from her and she reciprocated... that's when she doesn't care that much if he stays true to his initial statement and leaves.

Why then not withold sex if she desires a relationship? Because she ALSO desires sex. You may find it hard to believe but sex itself is a desireble thing for women...

Numphh · 2021-07-24T20:23:32+00:00

I think women are having this kind of discussions already. At the same time, most people who aren't into xxxpill don't see relationships as transactory as you frame it, so if a woman feels a connection and trust is established for a deeper relationship and that trust is broken after "giving herself" (you see how bad It sounds??) she is rightly feeling betrayed. Is it naive? Sometimes yes, but also acting as you said would make you really jaded and guarded and I don't think it's an healthy way to see relationships as well. Just say what you want and find someone who is looking for the same thing, please. Don't lie to "get into her pants" and don't think that you can change a man if he doesnt really want you.

SaBahRub · 2021-07-24T20:32:25+00:00

Unfortunately, women do often give men the benefit of the doubt, because they ask us to have good faith in them

People are always pressuring us to be nice, forgiving and generous, much like men are pressured to be strong, competitive and successful

PickleLine · 2021-07-24T22:22:10+00:00

Because they've been brainwashed to think that men don't care about N-count.

If women were told that reasonable, attractive men look down on high N-count women and men could openly talk about their preference without getting shamed, women would care more about ruining their value with pump and dumps.

It's the biggest ruse that men can't talk about their N-count preference even though it's so common

kissmetilyouredrunk · 2021-07-24T20:35:45+00:00

Then men would just fake commitment to get sex (like they already do)

Cedo_Alteram · 2021-07-24T20:18:04+00:00

"Workers don't actually care that much about being "exploited." If they did, they would withold labor until receiving whatever degree of compensation they want to be tied to labor."

Men, women, and workers all have to play ball or the market will simply leave them behind.

wtknight · 2021-07-24T21:59:12+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Tracker1958 · 2021-07-25T01:31:49+00:00

So true.

DillonTheFatUglyMale · 2021-07-25T02:58:55+00:00

a goat sacrifice

lol

Lateralanouncer · 2021-07-27T04:49:26+00:00

Woman.are the gatekeepers of sex. Woman are responsible for who they let f$&k them and responsible for the outcome of that.

blueXcat · 2021-07-27T05:07:50+00:00

I always went into sex as a nice activity to have fun in, where something better could happen

So I never had to complain about that

Whar I had a problem with, was men not wanting to be serious at the end, but expecting exclusivity

Like one was asking me almost everyday when I'd get tested so we could ditch condoms. I was explaining everyday that stds could be dormant for 3 months or more, so it would be condoms until then

I also told him that we would have to see each other more because I wouldn't be exclusive to someone I see 2 times a week. I need more sex than that

Then he wants to have sex with other people, and suddenly didn't want exclusivity

cataza · 2021-07-27T16:37:41+00:00

Because that’s who they are.
Women are living a pump and dump style for a very long time before getting married.
So they don’t care anything at all as long as a man provides stuffs for them.

TheX141710 · 2021-07-24T21:09:11+00:00

Any girl complaining about men using them are acting like it’s all men doing it, but they allow themselves to be used by certain men and not by others. That’s the difference and it makes both genders look bad because if ugly men could pump and dump at will, they’d do it too. It is funny, though, that women will complain about men as whole, when in reality they only mean the men that they allowed to use them. They thought they were special enough to tie the guy down and end up having their ego bruised when he drops her on a whim because he has 27 other girls lined up.

As Daniel Tosh once jokingly said “it’s not you vs whore, it’s you vs every whore.” If a guy can keep can fuck at will he’s going to be a lot harder to lock down then some guy who has to work for it.

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-07-24T22:29:10+00:00

Casual sex is fine if both parties are on the same page. If someone is faking interest in a relationship just to get laid, they're pathetic.

Aubrey_D_Graham · 2021-07-24T20:37:13+00:00

They do care a lot. Both men and women have casual relationships, but this dynamic changes after they develop feelings. Women believe they can change men through sex, but don't realize that most men won't change their mind. It doesn't help the woman if she withholds sex because sex is so free in this dating market. If she won't someone else will.

wtknight · 2021-07-24T21:11:02+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Gofishingrn · 2021-07-24T22:14:31+00:00

IMO- Wrong- a bunch of women still ‘care’ and keep a low body count. However, for the ones that (increasingly) don’t care/care a lot less, they learn - often too late- that a huge body count is a massive liability to their value.

helloiamheretohelp · 2021-07-25T15:07:35+00:00

Overweight and the shredded guy pumps and dumps you.

What you would do if it really bothered you: put the fork down

What actually happens: whining

This applies for plenty of men too (they don’t actually care that much about success with women, although they do get somewhat of a pass due to all the ‘looks aren’t that important’ gaslighting).

AutoModerator · 2021-07-24T20:09:47+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

CrazyBaby8891 · 2021-07-24T22:14:31+00:00

It isn't that they literally don't care about getting used and tossed aside, it's that they don't want to make the necessary sacrifice (abstinence) that's required in order to not have that happen anymore. So they keep doing what they're doing and attracting noncommittal douchebags instead of quality gentlemen, thinking eventually it'll work I guess... and you know what they say the definition of insanity is: doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

wtknight · 2021-07-24T22:28:47+00:00

They do care a lot, but the payout from hooking a high value mate long-term outweighs the potential emotional harm of being pumped and dumped.

superlurkage · 2021-07-25T01:33:00+00:00

If they didn’t care, men wouldn’t be whining

M3taBuster · 2021-07-25T01:43:24+00:00

Some women do care about being pumped and dumped. The ones that don't complain about it are the ones that make men wait until they get their desired level of commitment, like you said, and therefore don't get pumped and dumped.

However, some women don't want to get pumped and dumped, and they know that all they have to do is make a man wait, but they literally don't have the self-control or discipline to do it. So they wanna have it both ways. These are almost always the type of woman that you hear complaining about it.

owta_this_world · 2021-07-25T12:50:03+00:00

Men are allowed to be as manipulative and cunning as they are hot. An ugly guy being manipulative or cunning is unacceptable to women because he doesn't "deserve" to take advantage of women given his attractiveness.

That's the male version of hot/crazy matrix. There's a reason why women are quite enthusiastic cat owners.

Correct_Leek_1875 · 2021-07-24T22:12:42+00:00

Women also need orgasms. These women look after sex for the same reason men look after sex. Stop with this bullshit.

Comments