Just got off the phone with a friend who's trying to end a relationship with a guy who's conned her out of $10k over the past 6 months. Within 5 minutes of her sharing his name I found enough info to indicate she never should of dated him in the first place, including an arrest for attempted murder.

A lot of people will claim that googling a date is an invasion of privacy. They'll say it kills the natural process of getting to know each other. In reality, it's a very smart and empowering way to avoid men who are dangerous or emotionally unavailable. I'm advising you to look for serious red flags or dealbreakers that indicate he's a liar, criminal, or abusive partner.

In other instances, you might find things that suggests he's the kind of guy who wasted women's time in the past. When that happens you might still continue getting to know him, but do it with extra firm boundaries and give him no benefit of the doubt when it comes to anything seeming like low value behaviors.

Some things I've found over the years:

  • The "ex-wife" of a guy I'd started dating had actually been a 13-year-old girl he'd groomed and knocked up then married to avoid jail time.
  • A guy I reallllllly liked had disappeared for a month but come back begging for a second chance. Searched him and learned he was actually married and he'd disappeared because his wife had a baby.
  • A guy boldly asked me out IRL and I was impressed. When I Googled him about 6 mugshots from the prior 6 months in different states popped up. Charges were all assault and battery.
  • A guy told me he was widowed and his wife died of breast cancer 5 years ago. When I searched him I was able to find her name. She indeed had breast cancer 5 years ago but is alive and thriving with a successful business that was written up in a local paper.
  • A guy was overly boastful about how much money he made and claimed to be a super successful financial advisor. Google showed he'd had about 14 evictions in the past with the latest being 2 years ago.
  • A d-list celeb I'd matched with seemed like a cool guy. Searched and he was on TMZ twice for domestic abuse (1 with a video) 8 years apart with the same forever girlfriend.
  • A guy who was a well known producer implied that he hadn't had any serious relationships. A search told me he'd had two decade long girlfriends over 20 years that he didn't marry and also a toddler daughter he hadn't mentioned.

Had I not searched I would of possibly spent months or years with men who believe that cheating, lying, beating women, etc was ok. Or men who weren't responsible with their money/credit or were comfortable dating women forever without getting married.

Consider searching your dates to be the same as having a friend advise of you things you might want to look out for as you're getting to know. And never tell a man "I googled you and found... is it true?!". If he's an abuser that might trigger him to get violent. If the information is false and he's a HVM it would be a turn-off.

Keep it classy and use the information you find to ask him better questions. If he gets angry/squirmy you'll have your answers. And if you're certain the information is about him and it's bad just run but don't tell him why because he might try to get it taken down.