Name me one woman you know IRL who claims her relationship became stronger after forgiving him?

Don’t. Be. Fooled.

Cheating is the END of your relationship.

Stop making excuses for men who don’t care about hurting you.

Men do not view forgiveness as = must try harder.

They view it as = must try harder not to get caught. She loves me too much to walk away. Her love for me is stronger than it is for herself. They lose respect and do it all the more.

Once you forgive a cheat you just gave them the green light to do it again and again.

And since men have piss poor standards for casual flings and rarely get tested /want to wear condoms- the likelihood you’ll catch something is high. You cannot stay in a relationship with a man who gives no fucks about your sexual/emotional health. Especially in 2021. No he does not love you. That’s what he claims in order to manipulate you to his advantage.

For grown men who cheat, it’s rarely a one off accidental thing. They’ve been doing it for years, in most relationships. They learn how to get better at hiding it, how to gaslight better - how to stonewall when she isn’t budging. Refuse to play their games - they have no power when you don’t give them any. Most time’s they’ve been plotting and planning that shit for months, sober as a duck, several times. They know full what they are doing and the risks. They know the hurt they are causing. They know they’re hiding it because it’s wrong.

I have seen ugly men cheat on women way out of their league and refuse to own up even with a catalogue of screenshots in their face, caught red handed. Most are bound to universal bro code (deny everything/deflect blame/silent treatment) no matter how many things you overlook. It’s about time sisters started acknowledging this and began adhering to universal sister code and not taking them back! Lack of evidence (screenshots etc) does not prove innocence in the face of glaring red flags. We live in 2021, there’s a lot of ways for men to cover their tracks.

Men cheat for all kinds of reasons. Insecurity, arrogance, opportunity, boredom , excitement etc. None of them are your fault cos nobody is forcing his ass to be there. If you’re so terrible, why isn’t he leaving? If he needs space, why isn’t he making any? If he’s confused, why isn’t he taking a step back?

If you take him back your relationship is guaranteed to become more toxic. You will be viewing everything he says and does through a microscopic lense. You’ll become increasingly paranoid, insecure and anxious. It will drain, exhaust and humiliate you. And he will take advantage of that fact.

You’ll be more vulnerable to his gaslighting and you’re giving him even more of your time to waste. And if you ask me taking back a known cheat, especially if it’s apparent they’ve fucked someone else, is priming yourself for more hurt, abuse and lies further down the line. Because a man that’s lying about that, is perfectly capable of lying about much bigger things too.

Building with a cheater is a very insecure foundation- at any point he could run off with one of the other women. I’ve seen it happen to pick mes who stay with cheaters for decades, many time’s. That’s why we advise against ‘building men up’.

No you are not ‘mature’ for moving past his cheating. That’s not how 99% of men view women who take them back. They view it as a green light to do it more but go to greater lengths to hide it.

There’s a reason men are straight out the door when a woman cheats. They know it is disrespectful. They know the trust is broken. They rarely EVER return unless they’re very hard up for options. And even then, they’ll never let it drop and won’t allow themselves to be fooled twice. Treat them with the same swift removal.

Decentre men from your lives. Most are incredibly replaceable once the mask drops- you were in ‘love’ with their lies, not who they really are. You don’t need a relationship to breathe or live a fulfilling life.

The way you regain your power back is decentralising them from your happiness /esteem. Only keep a man around if he’s respecting you /benefiting you/ making you happier. If he’s not- get up and leave! Once you get into that mindset you won’t ‘need’ a man and you won’t find yourself looking the other way/ chasing after cheats either.

Listen to your gut instinct- it knows what best for you. And living a constant lie, at the expense of your dignity/mental health for the benefit of a disrespectful scrote, is not what’s best for you.