Is she high maintenance tho?

ScrappleSandwiches · 2021-08-18T15:52:03+00:00

Wonder why he doesn’t pay rent? Is he sponging off of her, or his parents?

discoveringliberty · 2021-08-18T15:52:21+00:00

This just sounds so miserable

08__80 · 2021-08-18T15:25:56+00:00

Even platonic female friends say "I'm going to get food, do you want anything?" Even if it's not "I will buy it for you," it's "Give me the money and I will purchase it for you and bring it back so that you can eat too." This guy is so incredibly selfish, he can't even do this tiny courtesy.

But I also have to say, "Sis, he told you this is how he was all the way from the beginning. Why did you think you could change him? When a guy tells you about himself, BELIVE HIM."

sassyheather · 2021-08-18T15:39:53+00:00

“WoMeN aRe GoLdDiGgErS” said this giftdigger piece of 🗑

thepsychopathhunter · 2021-08-18T15:44:05+00:00

“He does not believe in conventional holidays and cards/flowers ...because they die or get thrown out”

Umm okay then give me hard cash then. LOL.

He’s a cheap, selfish scrote and I hope she leaves his ass. She could be spending the money she spends going Dutch with this worthless POS and investing it in her education, hobbies, career, self-care etc.

He doesn’t even offer fries without being prompted. Like wtf? How is he ever going to look out for her in other ways when he can’t even do basic shit like offer food/share the bare minimum?

She should tell him she doesn’t believe in sex or affection, withdraw those all together and start seeing a hotter, more generous guy than him.

Astral_weaver · 2021-08-18T15:52:58+00:00

Sis, you are not high maintenance. He lacks common courtesy.

Technical_Moth248 · 2021-08-18T17:56:53+00:00

Men that immediately let you know they don’t “believe” in holidays are red flags and should be left behind. I know he’s manipulated and been an ass to her for a while now, but I’m shocked none of her family or friends didn’t shame him for skipping birthdays and Christmas. She’s doing too much and receiving nothing. She even established it didn’t need to be expensive so he literally just doesn’t think she’s worth a $10 bear or the time and effort of making something thoughtful.

2021-08-18T16:26:06+00:00

Wanting your significant other to remember your birthday and major holidays is a few times a year request, that’s not high maintenance. I can’t even fathom leaving someone to go get food, coming back to eat it in front of them, and not bothering to make sure they have something to eat too. Like… how rude.

She nails it with the “hand written card” part. He’s not doing anything - it’s not money. He won’t take a piece of printer paper, 5 minutes of time to write, and a homemade envelope from more printer paper. He doesn’t want to do anything for her. Why have a partner like that?

SadPersonality8576 · 2021-08-18T16:50:51+00:00

Selfishness and laziness are character flaws. No thank you, have a nice day

PossibleCook · 2021-08-18T15:55:30+00:00

Ugh I hate that women have to put in the disclaimer of “I’m not even materialistic/ a gold digger”. So what if you are?? Material things can have meaning/simply be nice to have. Money matters in our society. I’m tired of people pretending it’s bad to like money and material things.

datthingy · 2021-08-18T17:01:54+00:00

My partner gives me gifts/flowers and takes me out every month on our anniversary day. He takes any chance to celebrate being with me 🤷🏻‍♀️ don’t think that’s a lot to ask for.

asupernova91 · 2021-08-18T17:41:13+00:00

I wish I could tell her to please leave this man child. What redeeming qualities could be possibly have if he’s that inconsiderate? Girl no. You’re 22.

FrenchHeel · 2021-08-18T18:30:09+00:00

Just about every bad relationship includes “he doesn’t care about holidays/cards/flowers” . Every damn time. Of course men don’t care about flowers! They care about women…who DO care about flowers. That is why they buy them. Same with all the other things women care about.

miwamus · 2021-08-18T16:23:37+00:00

"Before you say maybe he's broke" is saying "before you start gaslighting me" to Reddit.

He's financially abusing you. Lady, leave.

poppinkitty · 2021-08-18T15:59:31+00:00

High maintenance? Lmao that's lowest of the low. The guy can't even ask? Wtf why she with him. This guy is my nightmare 🤡

BxGyrl416 · 2021-08-18T20:19:05+00:00

I’ve learned that as a rule men who are cheap with their wallets lack in other aspects as well. Even if he isn’t traditional, he should at very least acknowledge that she is and do things that make her feel appreciated. From what it sounds like, he’s just an all around cheapskate.

FURYOFCAPSLOCK · 2021-08-18T20:03:30+00:00

He doesn't value her at all. She's placeholder pussy to him

Painfulmenstruation · 2021-08-18T16:59:54+00:00

If a man tells you he doesn’t do holidays or birthdays it’s either because he’s broke or cheap. Either way is a red flag.

MajesticSkyPachyderm · 2021-08-18T16:58:41+00:00

He did a good job conditioning her at the beginning, even got her agreeing with something she actually doesn't agree with deep down.

Anyone who spouts bullshit like "holidays are so commercial", "I don't believe in labels" etc., is a manipulative areshole that you should stay well away from. It's all a trick.

gluckkk · 2021-08-18T22:41:46+00:00

I was seeing this scrote for a couple of months. He was saying all this shit to me to get me to believe that he wanted a relationship. “Let’s just take it slow” was his favorite.

I always believed that men were some complicated puzzle and women always had to read between the lines to decrypt their messages. I asked so many of my friends what it means if a guy says he wants to take it slow (spoiler: he wants to take everything he can get from you until you quit hanging around, or until he gets everything he wants and finally ‘admits’ that he’s figure out he’s just not ready for a relationship wahhh boohoo). Why did not one of them tell me “Girl, he is not into you. Run!”?? Shitty and stupid people.

Anyway this scrote told me he wasn’t going to get me anything for Valentine’s Day. I accepted that because we had only been seeing one another for two months at that point. At least this scrote would pay for my food and when my pick-me ass would step up with my credit card he would say “Fine” reluctantly.

A guy that acts like this ⬆️ and like the guy in the post does not care about you enough to even pretend to care about you. Do not accept this kind of behavior. Would you treat someone you even kind of liked like this? I hate that women are taught to accept male laziness and to enjoy discussing with their female friends what “this” or “that” that he did or said means. I used to obsess about these supposedly cryptic messages and feel soothed when my friends would reassure me that everything was fine. One friend even told me, about another guy, “he acts like that because he loves you so much he doesn’t know how to act.” Da fuq? This is a disservice to our female friends; unfortunately at the time I had no idea how stupid what she said was.

It’s black and white. If he acts like this he is not interested and you need to stop paying him with your attention and time. Why do we NEVER see men asking these kinds of questions? Because they haven’t been conditioned to question what they are worth and to gaslight themselves about the opposite sex’s behavior.

herbivorouscarnivore · 2021-08-18T20:44:42+00:00

My good sister, you said you don’t care where the gift is from because it’s the thought that counts. He has shown you the he does not think of you. Please love yourself, move on, and find your equal.

deathbecoming · 2021-08-18T22:57:54+00:00

genuinely... This might be about my ex. Like, actually. After 20 m of this EXACT crap (literally, he got me a squatty pottie for my birthday), I realized I was his fuckbuddy roommate.

Meanwhile, I have a date on Saturday with a guy who asked about allergies because he wants to make sure the restaurant he picks has enough options for me. I'm excited :)

PinkPetalCdistbeauty · 2021-08-18T19:21:23+00:00

Did she try communicating??? Lol

emziewemziee · 2021-08-18T17:29:55+00:00

i can’t feel sorry for her tho bc these things would’ve been there at the start of the relationship too.. if she wants them all she can do is find someone else

coldfoot23 · 2021-08-18T17:02:03+00:00

Chile…I have to laugh…

excusemeILY · 2021-08-18T23:23:48+00:00

Why are women coddling men so much? Like, I feel for the OP, but at some point, you gotta look at the situation rationally and figure out if you have a partner or a leach on your hands

CuntWaffe · 2021-08-19T02:35:10+00:00

For me, the lesson is:

If you take better care of yourself than your own spouse takes care of you, what good are they?

hyperjinxx · 2021-08-18T21:46:58+00:00

🗑 you know what to do

arnezuara · 2021-08-18T16:05:54+00:00

At this rate, men will go instinct, lol. Men like him should not have girlfriends. In my culture, men are gatekept from the dating scene if they’re broke.

HoneyBouquet · 2021-08-19T06:31:24+00:00

Oh honey he don't like you 😐

Let this dead mackerel go

riricide · 2021-08-19T01:18:09+00:00

Generosity is a non-negotiable. How can you think someone loves you or cares for you if they can't do basic caring acts. He's a selfish asshole. I can't imagine her sex life is any good. Let's forget about emotional bonding, even physically I bet this man knows nothing and has no desire to learn anything either. A partner who doesn't celebrate and cherish you isn't a partner - if anything they're going to leave you with less self-esteem and more depression and anxiety. Ironically enough these same idiots are usually the ones who want kids -- as if they will magically learn how to be a good dad after being a shit human all their life.

Novemberinthechair · 2021-08-18T17:59:06+00:00

Wow, the brainwashing is strong with this one.

DivineGoddess1111111 · 2021-08-19T07:22:45+00:00

Imagine how useless that thing is in the bedroom. Stingy out of the bedroom, 30 second no foreplay disappointment in the bedroom.

Throughthebeerglass · 2021-08-19T08:57:06+00:00

My first boyfriend did the same. I was 21 and he was 26. He didn't like flowers but he gave me plants, because flowers die (turns out it was because his ex liked flowers and she broke his heart). He also said that normal and conventional Holiday are boring just so he could go with his friends instead of me.

Don't ever settle. If you want to go to Mykonos as a load of other people do, DO IT. If you want flowers, THEY NEED TO BUY YOU FLOWERS.

bombas- · 2021-08-18T19:26:25+00:00

I do want steak, caviar, and fine wine, and Gucci bags.

And I get them, without any particular effort or stress on my part.

What on earth is the point of settling for this?

vududoodoo · 2021-08-19T09:35:58+00:00

She isn't a selfish or high maintenance, he's cheap and doesn't care about her achievements. But that doesn't mean cards gifts and flowers are always a good thing either. My soon to be ex-husband beat me and raped me several times and he would try to use flowers as an apology gift. He expected me to take pictures of them and post them online and brag about how great my husband was but of course wouldn't let me tell the part about him beating me first and that's why i got the flowers in the first place ☹️ It's completely ruined flowers for me now when I see somebody getting flowers as a gift I wonder in the back of my mind if her husband beats and rapes her too

cookiemonstergirls · 2021-08-19T14:44:56+00:00

He sounds selfish and is probably a bum. He works a full time job but does not pay rent? He buys food for himself but does not even offer to bring her anything? They go 50/50 on every single date or she pays? This guy does not have one considerate bone in his body. He is certainly not a gentleman towards his woman. Dating someone like that would just suck. Like what does she get drom dating a bum who makes her pay for everything? Bad one sided sex? Extra laundry and cleaning? Having to listen to him complain? Nope. No thanks.🤨🤢🤮

OptionalCookie · 2021-08-19T08:41:36+00:00

... Are they in a relationship? Cause that's not what I'm seeing here.

Due-Apricot-4433 · 2021-08-19T11:44:53+00:00

Lmao, he’s cheap af. Who the hell goes out with a man like this?

AwkwardDisaster4150 · 2021-08-19T18:12:14+00:00

Holy crap. When you’re in a relationship yes he should pay for your dates. He should get you gifts. If he loved you he would. He should want to do something nice for you. The first time a guy ever buys himself food, without even asking if I want something, and then eats it in front of me would be the last time.

PokePrincess95 · 2021-08-19T19:08:36+00:00

The fact that he doesn’t pay rent is a red flag

ChgItToRayGunYouFuck · 2021-08-18T16:12:03+00:00

Hope she gets out before he asks her to move in and split the rent and then say ThInGs ShOuLd bE eQuAl! All while he doesn't contribute anything else to the relationship.

Turbulent_Buffalo_28 · 2021-08-19T08:00:23+00:00

She is not even getting the minimum union.. How sad! Personally I would totally believe in LV bags + handwritten letter

Title	Is she high maintenance tho?
Author	Previous-Focus-2013
Upvotes	791
Comments	86
Date	August 18, 2021 3:18 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/p6t981/is_she_high_maintenance_tho/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/is-she-high-maintenance-tho.1058057 https://theredarchive.com/post/1058057

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