The bar is in hell.

tootzone · 2022-01-27T14:15:11+00:00

I always liked when they talked about "foodie calls". It's a lot easier and safer to go to a food bank for free food, than it is to purposely look for a stranger, spend hours getting ready, and put yourself in a compromising situation with said stranger for free food. It's so stupid. Who does that?

Anyway, the men who are squeamish about paying for dates are not the one. You can't change their mind, they have a chip on their shoulder about women ("hurr durr if women want equality..."), and you should just move on if you encounter one like this. Even if they reluctantly end up paying for something, they'll hold it against you.

Story time: A couple of years ago, there was a real loser who tried to pressure me into dating him. He was American and we're from a culture where men paying for dates is more expected. I was young and dumb and he used a plethora of medical conditions (that weren't even real) to manipulate me into feeling bad for "not giving him a chance". He really wanted to impress my parents, so that there would be someone else in my life that was pressuring me to be with him.

Anyway, he invited my mom out to lunch for her birthday, in an attempt to win her over. When the check came, he assumed my mother would pay for it, because that's what his parents did every time they went out to eat. And you could see the nervousness in his face when my mother looked at him like "are you seriously implying that I should pay for my own birthday lunch that you invited me to?". He ended up paying for it, but looked very upset about it. My mother obviously wasn't impressed, she always resented him and knew I only reluctantly entertained this idea because I was very psychologically beat down.

Needless to say, I couldn't keep the act up for long, no matter how much he guilt tripped me, and I told him over the phone that I didn't want to see him again. He also made a lot of comments about how "if you expect me to pay for dates, then when we live together, you better do every bit of housework" and "it's fine for women to do all of the housework, because sometimes a man has to fix a flat tire". So, again, a huge chip on their shoulder even if they reluctantly pay for things. He also implied that I'm a "spoiled princess" for wanting financial security. And he accused me of hating poor people when I told him I didn't want to see him again, lol.

bleda_princezna · 2022-01-27T14:04:31+00:00

I'd much rather go out by myself and pay for my meal than to suffer through the lunch with this miserable existence, lol.

Why would I waste time with someone who already hates me without even knowing me?

Maingurl · 2022-01-27T14:58:01+00:00

Lol, they spend less than $30 on a meal and act like they're Jeff Bezos.

daisy_0720 · 2022-01-27T15:35:59+00:00

If I wanted a free meal, I would just go to my parents? No need to dress up and I would actually enjoy their company.

You expect a free first date sex? You are looking for a prostitute.

Mcccy · 2022-01-27T15:13:53+00:00

Hear me out.

They think we use them for fRee MeaLs cause they just cant accept a woman MAYBE didn't like them enough to go on a second date.

PenelopePitstop21 · 2022-01-27T14:03:16+00:00

He expects free first date sex. Ugh.

SerialGeneralist · 2022-01-27T14:47:39+00:00

I bet he’s expecting sex though.

Loud_Foundation_9300 · 2022-01-27T19:06:47+00:00

Meanwhile some random fuck in my Instagram inbox begging to be my sugar daddy and getting indignant when I tell him to piss off.

Sumn these men ain’t right

ItsFreezen · 2022-01-27T20:02:05+00:00

If Scrotes can't afford to date they can't afford to have a family.

MatchaLover1 · 2022-01-27T13:45:06+00:00

The notion that paying 50/50 = equality, and women asking for men to do the bare minimum = gold-digger, is a perfect encapsulation of how the bar for men is in the 100th layer of hell.

I’m genuinely asking, what benefit is there for women to date men when the vast majority of them expect you to pay 50% of all the bills, do 95% of the household chores (cooking, cleaning, child-rearing) and 95% of the emotional labour in a relationship? I have never heard of a man in a hetero relationship doing half, let alone the majority, of housekeeping. Women are brainwashed into thinking that unwashed d*ck, XY chromosomes and not being a wife beater is all you need in a man.

The truth is that the “best” men would make extremely mediocre women. Women don’t blink at being empathetic and self sacrificing, yet a man who has 10% of the decency of the average woman is lauded and praised.

miloba_ · 2022-01-27T16:09:34+00:00

Men say this shit hoping that it becomes the norm while knowing full well that a man with real interest in a woman would never let her pay on a first date. This is why we vet any potential romantic interest immediately.

I’ve been going on a few first dates recently. It’s my first time being single since joining FDS (proudly left my ex-LVM and never looked back), and I have had dozens of men offer dinner/brunch first dates, all nice restaurants, etc. Men who offered anything less did not get a response back and were unmatched. For those I chose to meet, they planned ahead to get reservations, arrived promptly, dressed nicely, good conversation, and when the bill came, immediately grabbed it and paid. None of them even let it touch the table. I sat there confidently as they paid, said a genuine thank you, and resumed conversation. There was never an awkward silence where it was presumed I would offer either.

My job title alludes to me making good money (which is true). This hasn’t once deterred men (who likely either make more OR less) from paying. They know I can afford the meal 10x over. A man who is equally selective of who he chooses to invite on a first date will have no issue paying for one meal, knowing it’s likely only one of 1-3 he might have that week. He’s likely not offering dinner to multiple women a week, whereas going 50/50 and/or doing something cheap is far more feasible with 4-7 women a week.

Women will almost always have far more options at their disposal than men do. It is NOT the other way around. Do not accept this man’s notion, it’s an absolute lie.

BBQCoolRanchQueen · 2022-01-27T15:55:05+00:00

Scrote is expecting free sex. The makeup we apply alone is worth more than their 2 can dine for $9.99 McDate. LVM are looking not only for a woman and her labour to be free, they look to heavily profit off of them in some way. I just read something off of a certain subreddit dedicated to mothers about a man willing to freeze his wife and kids at home during the day whoke he was at work because he'd rather spend his money on himself. The absolutely despicable entitlement of some men.

saragc92 · 2022-01-27T16:44:30+00:00

This is why they are single, they think we women aren’t happy being single!

We are everyday!

That’s why they go for the young inexperienced naive women.

I almost sound like a hate women but I don’t.

I hate this world, who takes advantage of the inexperienced

OriginalCanCon · 2022-01-27T16:31:57+00:00

I make twice my boyfriend's salary and he still refuses to let me pay for dinner nearly three years later. Why? When I asked him why he always insisted on paying (the was pre me finding fds) he told me it makes him happy and proud that he can give me things that I enjoy, since he knows I can take care of the necessities on my own.

I know our haters think we're all gold digging sugar babies but the truth is I'm dating someone in a significantly lower income bracket than me and he still manages to do things that don't cost him much (dinner, flowers, repairs on my house, movies) because I'm with someone who sees getting to treat me (and as an extension, us) as a privilege that he enjoys, not a strain on his personal funds.

preppykat3 · 2022-01-27T15:10:51+00:00

Well we certainly aren’t looking for hobosexuals obsessed with cryptos.

Carneliancat · 2022-01-27T16:55:17+00:00

Imagine trying to get a woman to show up to a date date while not actually providing a date experience for her, which this fool and his peevish little attitude is attempting to do. If you don't want to take me on a date, then I guess you can tag along with me while I run my errands on a Saturday afternoon. Oh, but don't expect "date" me to show up. No, you'll be getting "me running around doing my errands" me--not a lick of makeup or perfume, hair up on top of my head in a messy bun, jeans, sneakers, and a hoodie. And no, you can't drive with me.

Honestly, men like these are SUCH losers, which is made worse by the fact that they don't even have the self-awareness to be embarrassed by themselves. Stay pressed, little furious scrote. The women you REALLY want will be over here dating real men who know how to value a woman's time, want to create romantic interest, and will provide her with a pleasant dating experience.

FodderFigureIllushun · 2022-01-27T19:28:26+00:00

They're demonizing a free meal on a date they didn't ask you on yet men who think this way usually expect sex right away. If you don't give it to them, you're being a prude who only uses men for money. Make it make sense.

LibreVie99 · 2022-01-27T13:28:06+00:00

These scrotes really show themselves as undesirable before you even need to try to vet them. They shouldn’t be even speaking to women at this point just jerk themselves into fatigue and gorge themselves on lukewarm chicken tendies and off-brand soda and call it a date.

GreytracksuitPants · 2022-01-28T00:20:37+00:00

Of course the scrotes call this sub “FreeDinnerStrategy” as if I’d waste my time and effort going through all that hassle to try to meet a decent guy only to trick him into buying a meal I could easily pay for myself and I’d happily eat it alone too.

A guy who makes no fuss over the bill and is smooth about it is too afraid to leave any ambiguity if he likes you and hopes to meet you again. If I’m feeling uncomfortable in this situation then I’m most likely not feeling comfortable to meet again. I don’t want to be uncomfortable on a date. If I’m asked out I assume it’s because he wants to impress me. It’s pretty simple. It’s not and never is about money.

The rest of the morons can go cry about it to their gaming pals.

Edit: just to add I’ve been in the dating game on and off around 10 years ago now. I was a complete pickme libfem “let’s go halvsies” til I found this sub 2 years ago, then a light switched on and I realised a lot. Since then I’ve been way more selective, been on fewer dates and never felt happier being single. There’s just a lot to be said about the payment situation.

PasDeTout · 2022-01-27T17:28:42+00:00

The ones who obsess over being ‘taken advantage of’ and worried about gold diggers are pretty much guaranteed to be two things: out on the take, and have no gold to dig.

Davina33 · 2022-01-27T15:58:36+00:00

Lmao way to tell the world you're a broke low value male.

The_Moon_Piece · 2022-01-27T21:20:15+00:00

I’m so tired of these dumbass male gold diggers, I just default to assuming they’re struggling financially and imply they shouldn’t be dating if they can’t afford to be gentlemen.

NotMyRealName814 · 2022-01-27T17:21:07+00:00

I used to know this crusty old bastard who, while in his 60s, only wanted to date women in their 20s and 30s. He actually did manage to date four or five such women but he wouldn't date them for more than a month or two because he was convinced they all were only dating him so they could "steal his Social Security from him".

Yeah, right buddy! eyeroll

Buggy1218 · 2022-01-27T15:34:41+00:00

Yes, I do expect them to pay for a first date meal. It’s an investment on their part into our future potential relationship. It’s a down payment for my time, attention, and energy.

If a man won’t pay for dinner or asks you to go halves, he doesn’t see you as someone to invest in.

Heather619 · 2022-01-27T18:44:53+00:00

So you know how there's this trend of guys requesting women reimburse them for the first date if there is no second date... Should we start sending Venmo requests to men for the beauty products we used on that date? 🤔

katiekat0214 · 2022-01-27T13:55:41+00:00

And son, you ain't one now or ever. Next.

vilepurity · 2022-01-27T18:01:54+00:00

Agreeing to go on a date with a man is literally doing them a favour… or is it just me? I have been asked on dates and it’s like you don’t really wanna go, but you can choose to at least give him a chance (even though you are inconveniencing yourself)

spicyspa · 2022-01-27T16:32:02+00:00

Dogecoin cuz Elon Musk tweeted about it.

asocialsocialite · 2022-01-27T18:48:52+00:00

Just say that you expect cheap or free pussy because you can't afford what you really want.

Low effort men ruin the dating environment for everyone.

Buttercup5555 · 2022-01-27T21:20:51+00:00

I think even the red pill papi jordan peterson would call this one a pathetic weasel

kinkardine · 2022-01-28T11:04:17+00:00

Looking back, I felt I only wanted to pay with guys I felt deeply anxious with, I did not want to owe them something.. I had this fear that he will come back two years later and sue me for the food he paid for. I was broke at that time to so may be was self conscious too.

But now that I am in a much better position financially and can vet better, I would like to throw that challenge to a guy to see how he reacts, if he has a bargaining/transactional attitude he is not the one for me, I cannot keep up/ I do not want to tab every interaction and put a monetary value on it.

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Shot_Presence_8382 · 2022-01-29T16:28:49+00:00

I think these men should go back and ask an older person (their parents, grandparents, etc) how dates worked back then..I highly doubt they'd say "the woman paid 50/50!" Or "the woman slept with him on the first date!" Or "she was a gold digger for expecting me to pay for the $5 meal she ordered..." Like...NO, they would not! It's only nowadays where for some reason, men expect women to work, raise the kids, pay ALL the bills, baby their husbands, clean, cook, be his p0rn fantasy girl, wipe his @$$ and pay for the first date. No, idiot, that's not how it works..you reach out to a woman to go on a date, YOU are the one to be paying, you stingy piece of shit. They want no effort dates and expect the woman to lay down and give her body to him to pleasure him after a lousy date SHE paid for, or at least partly for. I'm seriously at a loss with this. The only way I'd see 50/50 "date" would be going out with FRIENDS and strictly friends, where we'd pay for our own plates of food we ordered..not a romantic date. Men nowadays are lazy, selfish, p0rn fried and CHEAP!

Title	The bar is in hell.
Author	Champagne_bitch
Upvotes	1160
Comments	91
Date	January 27, 2022 1:22 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/sdyarp/the_bar_is_in_hell/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/the-bar-is-in-hell.1097286 https://theredarchive.com/post/1097286

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