Do most men lack basic decency?

abaxeron · 2022-08-18T20:07:34+00:00

Do you think that most men can’t get into a relationship because they lack basic decency?

The most decent men of today have lower marriage and higher divorce-if-married rates than wifebeater brutes of 70 years ago. "Men just suck" does not pass the most surface of reality checks.

cryptothrow2 · 2022-08-19T02:32:42+00:00

Women argue being kind or nice is the bare minimum. But the truth is it's not required

RandomRedditGuy322 · 2022-08-18T18:53:23+00:00

Women say this because they are all chasing the same top 20% of men, who have an abundance of options and therefore don't need to treat any individual woman with any decency, as she will always be replaceable to him.

Most men have decency, though the men with zero options become depressed over time and lose their overall respect for women once they become educated on hypergamy and the structural reasons they fell behind in dating.

So on both the top end and bottom end, female hypergamy is the fundamental cause for men lacking decency towards women. So even if this was a problem, it was fundamentally caused by women themselves.

modidlee · 2022-08-19T14:06:55+00:00

I think studies have shown that the majority of women find the majority of men unattractive. That’s the reason men can’t get into relationships. If they’re not attractive enough they’re not even getting a chance to show a woman how “decent” they’d be in a relationship. I like to think I’m pretty decent. Nothing special though. And I haven’t had an issue getting into relationships. But before the women I’ve been in relationships decide to be with me it starts with pure sexual attraction. If they’re not attracted to you being “decent” means nothing. You could be a saint. If she doesn’t want to fuck you it doesn’t help you at all. Women don’t look for “decent” guys for relationships. They look for sexually attractive guys then figure out if they’re “decent” enough for a relationship.

EventSea8621 · 2022-08-18T22:04:51+00:00

ah yes more articles telling men to pull up muh bootstraps and meet woman's ridiculous standards.

Idk why they keep paddling this because the opposite is happening, more and more men are dropping out of society and trying with woman.

sorathecrow__ · 2022-08-18T18:23:14+00:00

Articles like that demand men level up, that their problem is they lack emotional depth or empathy. But no one can gauge that from a profile pic and 140 words (if women even bother to read it). To imply that the algorithm can somehow sense that you're emotionally immature is just...so weird. The algorithm isn't God. It can't see your thoughts or motivations.

Articles like the one above are written either by women or men shouting into the heavens on behalf of women about the crummy dudes these ladies decide to date. They're frustrated that the men they choose aren't considerate enough, or emotionally available enough, or woke enough, or organized enough, or as ambitious as them, etc. And say to lonely men, an entirely different demographic from the ones women are actively choosing to date, that they need to "level up" to meet women's emotional expectations. You're barking up the wrong tree.

RedditorSafeSpace · 2022-08-18T17:52:43+00:00

Most PEOPLE lack basic decency nowadays.

Most people in public fucking suck.

NockerJoe · 2022-08-18T18:37:52+00:00

When you date you're rapidly expised to a scattershot of people who have nothing in common except maybe a vague attraction. So you're going to run across people who's lives are a mess, people with weird ideologies, people dealing with mental issues, and all kinds of shit. I've been treated fucking awfully by a lot of women but its way more normalized for women to bitch about men than the reverse, and women aren't generally told they need to sort their shit to even get a chance so a lot of women see no real issue with either projecting their issues onto men or wondering why they keep running into guys who treat them like this.

Smitten_Squire · 2022-08-18T19:24:16+00:00

Its 2022 silly, man=toxic

/s

belachewhm · 2022-08-19T00:37:37+00:00

“Basic Decency” to women means treating them like a special spoiled princess. I’m good.

melody_of_ · 2022-08-18T21:02:57+00:00

No this is ridiculous most humans are average and men are human beings. The difference is that men need to have a high competency in a WIDE variety of areas and attractiveness to boot if they wish to have even a few options before their late 20s/30s.

Sad_Entertainer6312 · 2022-08-18T18:00:54+00:00

From the article:

How can men reap the benefit of the algorithms? Level up your mental health game. That means getting into some individual therapy to address your skills gap

Does anyone actually think it's a reasonable expectation for most men to go to individual therapy? I certainly don't.

My personal story is that I have attended a handful of therapy sessions over the years for very specific reasons. Namely my wife was in an accident and needed help that her psychologist wasn't providing and I wasn't equipped to handle. I spend literally thousands of hours reading every psychology book I could get my hands on, I audited psychology classes at a local university and still was struggling to properly increase my level of emotional intelligence. It was only when I had a moment of profound clarity one day (by chance), that all the reading suddenly clicked and I began to understand. I then went to a psychologist again to try and confirm that I was understanding correctly.

I've written a number of articles to help men understand EQ more, but they are more like rules to follow to "fake it", vs giving them an actual understanding. Even then many men find it difficult to follow the rules, because they struggle to understand them. (I tell them to just accept and not understand).

Edit: even though I think I have a high level of EQ compared to many, I still struggle to properly put myself in a woman's shoes.

goatismycopilot · 2022-08-18T17:53:37+00:00

No most men and women are self interested, they aren't going to help you or hurt you. They are too caught up in their own worlds. They are looking for the easiest route.

Oli_love90 · 2022-08-18T17:57:12+00:00

To be fully honest - I stopped dating because of how disrespectful men were. We also see some really terrible takes in forums like this, various online rhetoric that promotes being shit towards women. I’ve seen how men treat women who they don’t think are attractive irl as well.

I don’t mean men are worse than women and that women don’t have negative traits. I’m focusing on guys because the question is only about men here.

But it absolutely feels like that that human decency is missing and some guys are mad and don’t like women and treat them as such.

DorianneGrey · 2022-08-18T18:01:14+00:00

I use Tinder as I travel all over the world

So as you use Tinder all over the world, are you looking for a committed relationship or are you expecting women to want to hook up with you even though you've never met before?🤔

CanYouTieThemInABow · 2022-08-18T18:17:41+00:00

Women are much more aware of men who lack basic decency towards women than men are. Stands to reason, right? We're the ones having the interactions.

I'd 100% rather be single than with a man like that anyway, and I think plenty of women feel that way.

On Tinder of course you're doing the wooing. Casual sex is far more appealing to men than to women. Why should she have sex with you in particular?

Financial_Leave4411 · 2022-08-18T18:10:55+00:00

Interesting that you say you travel all over the world and use tinder to match with women in other countries (I’m assuming this is purely for casual sex and not for a relationship). If all you’re looking for is casual sex you’re going to get bottom of the barrel women who will use you for validation especially from tinder. If you want higher quality women you need to look for relationship minded women not casual throwaway women.

lifesuckswannadie · 2022-08-18T19:53:01+00:00

No, people come up with nonsense to avoid acknowledging how ridiculous and shallow women's standards are

2022-08-18T18:21:20+00:00

I'd say that yes.

Men are increasingly single. Women set the rules, so there's no choice for men to lift themselves up, or abandon the game altogether. There's literally no way around this, no discussion and no possibility way for men to convince women to drop their standards.

pm_me_hairy_nudes · 2022-08-18T19:18:26+00:00

if you're using traveling all over the world, you probably were in a lot of countries where that is how women are "supposed" to act - demure, play hard to get, allow you to take all the initiative, you should pay for everything, traditional, etc.

Well, you need to date men as a woman to find out. The amount of extra domestic labor, main character syndrome, lack of respect for your boundaries and career, and assumption that we're incompetent by default in most things, is really not worth the $20 he spent on your dinner the first time you met him. I would gladly pay $20 than deal with all that

ruboyuri · 2022-08-18T19:47:51+00:00

We’re looking for a little more than “basic decency”. Men and women just have different ideas of what that is

Blueexpression · 2022-08-18T21:31:33+00:00

That is a ridiculous question. If most men lack basic decency then the definition of basic decency needs to be changed. Most people are good or at a minimum, not evil. Men are lonely for a number of reasons including the proliferation of OLD.

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-08-18T19:10:43+00:00

I don’t know, but I find most men are fairly amoral/morally ambiguous. Selfish and prone to overlooking the humanity of others, especially women. But it’s always been that way, and I don’t think that’s what’s causing male loneliness. More lack of social skills, lack of meaningful social opportunities, and the fact that women no longer need men.

EasternToe3824 · 2022-08-18T18:17:03+00:00

Most men are fine. This is negative feedback of the women are wonderful effect.

sarkington · 2022-08-18T17:56:02+00:00

No, they just need validation for some reason. Unfortunately, this validation requires other people

-angels-fan- · 2022-08-18T17:48:45+00:00

We live in a gynocentric society where women are the default.

Male sexuality is a perversion of female sexuality and men should strive to be more like women.

Same with male nature.

There's been a big push to squash "boys will be boys" and to diagnose boys with ADHD for acting like boys. Boys should sit down and be quiet like girls.

No shit the takeaway is that "men are just uncultured brutes that need women to help them become civilized".

Mobrowncheeks · 2022-08-18T18:18:58+00:00

What is “ basic decency “ and how do we measure it. And how is it so basic if half the population doesn’t have it

John_Oakman · 2022-08-18T19:07:39+00:00

Modern western secular cultures has this dual paradox of expecting the highest of moral virtues as the bare minimum of acceptable behavior while simultaneously shaming those same moral virtues as enabling of the oppressive institutions of society.

2022-08-18T21:07:55+00:00

SOME men do

mistressusa · 2022-08-19T00:09:21+00:00

I blame video games. That's what I see all boys do, day and night. They don't socialize with girls, barely even with boys unless it's while playing video games. These boys grow into men who are scared of women and don't know how to approach them like normal people.

gofigure62 · 2022-08-18T19:02:15+00:00

Online? Yes, most men on old lack basic decency or any degree of social skills. They think OLD is grub hub for sex and act confused why women aren't dropping trou and lining up at their door.

In person? Depends on the area, but in my experience typically no. IRL most men are decent if not extremely pleasant. I go out practically every other night and most men that I meet are a joy to be around regardless of age. I can probably count on one had negative experiences that I've had with men in person when I've gone out.

I think porn the manosphere has really warped the perception of introverted men and hermit men. Theres an EXTREME difference in interactions that I have with men who mainly socialize online vs. men who have a life and hobbies outside with other humans IRL.

attendquoi · 2022-08-19T00:38:35+00:00

Well, one man here just told me that everything they do is determined by whether they get to have sex so....

Blaphrodite · 2022-08-18T23:21:03+00:00

The short answer is yes.

They have an overrated opinion of themselves and dehumanize and demonize the opposite sex.

/redpill

/purplepill

/seduction

If more women saw these subs. Zero guys would be getting sex.

AdditionalPrice7336 · 2022-08-19T15:57:15+00:00

And this further proves my theory that the "bar is in hell" is memetic warfare upon the male psyche.

agathadusty · 2022-08-18T17:50:44+00:00

I think most women want to not have to work very hard to just make the first date go well - if it doesn’t, you simply don’t go out again. And vice versa - communication is important but people would generally prefer the first date to be relatively effortless since the actual relationship will naturally add additional stress. A girl wants you to read her mind? No, she just wants things to feel natural and if you naturally don’t align with her, don’t expect a second date.

Yes, girls do expect to be treated well, though. That’s true. The fact you list this in your stream of problems does make you not seem like a decent man.

Generally speaking, I find most men have even more flaws than I do and I have ASPD, so. Try harder guys. Actually, that’s not true - I find most men have many flaws and don’t actually want to address them. As an adult, I’d like to be with an adult - not a child I have to goad into being more reasonable/responsible/empathetic.

I mean, I literally have a personality disorder that says I really, really don’t care and I can feign empathy better. A lie goes a long way.

neetykeeno · 2022-08-18T23:40:32+00:00

It's Tinder. What do you expect? A woman basically lets herself be ordered up by app like a hot pizza...is that not enough of your male imperatives catered to that you will consider catering to some of her female imperatives to get her to where she wants to be emotionally before sex?

Of course she sits there waiting for you to show some drive, some enthusiasm. I mean...she needs that to justify going forward. Normally she could wait weeks months if it was social circles game...but this is tinder. And you are travelling for business. The timeline is compressed. You both have to make that compression work. She needs you to be enthusiastic. If you aren't enthusiastic then that timeline isn't compressing.

Jesus fucking Christ. I am not saying that you actually owe it to anyone to pay them attention but if you're not willing to pay someone attention just before sex to help facilitate an ultrafast timeline of days or hours not months or weeks then you aren't someone they should be having sex with.

Hire a hooker. They are willing to do all the work of getting you there.

upalse · 2022-08-18T18:23:53+00:00

Do you think that most men can’t get into a relationship because they lack basic decency?

I'd not say "most men can't get into relationships", but it's definitely true that a lot of men are really bad at reading the room, subtleties of first impressions and such.

They don’t show any initiative, they expect you to treat them well and guess what they want and make them smile and make them the center of your attention even though you’ve never met before.

You won't catch any fish without a bait.

maryhartman000 · 2022-08-19T01:11:43+00:00

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Substantial_Video560 · 2022-08-18T20:04:29+00:00

I think the days of decency are long over. It's a dog eat dog world nowadays, every man and woman to themselves!

Laytheblameonluck · 2022-08-19T11:23:24+00:00

That author is a grifter.

Title	Do most men lack basic decency?
Author	BothWaysItGoes
Upvotes	32
Comments	181
Date	August 18, 2022 5:42 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/wrpsfn/do_most_men_lack_basic_decency/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-most-men-lack-basic-decency.1128936 https://theredarchive.com/post/1128936

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