Height requirements is shallow, preferences are not

ffandyy · 2023-01-24T01:42:53+00:00

Physical requirements are still preferences friend.

RocinanteCoffee · 2023-01-24T02:28:48+00:00

Nobody can help who they are attracted to.

Nobody should date someone they don't want out of virtue-signaling or a warped sense of moral justice.

Those short dudes deserve to be desired for who they are and how they look, not in spite of.

trippingfingers · 2023-01-24T01:02:36+00:00

Yes but nobody owes anyone else a lack of shallowness. It's only unethical if they're dating somebody outside their requirements and abusing them for it, or if they're bullying people who aren't in their preference range.

Weird_Stick_2962 · 2023-01-24T05:22:36+00:00

Woman here. I wouldn’t under any circumstances date a man who is my height (5’10) or shorter. Saying I love a man for his height only though is false. For it to be true then that would mean I’d have to be interested in every man who meets my height requirement. I’m not. There are a number of different things that come together to make a man someone I want to be with. Height alone isn’t enough but still those other qualities without the height isn’t enough either.

ohdiddly · 2023-01-24T03:14:04+00:00

Literally any physical preferences fall under the definition of being ‘shallow’, we’ve just decided that being shallow is a bad thing, when it’s not.

MistyMaisel · 2023-01-24T01:30:49+00:00

Wait...why is this shallow?

First attraction is almost always "shallow". It grows in depth from there. That doesn't mean by the time they'd marry the love is still shallow?

Are you really arguing that first attraction requirements are inherently shallow and bad and mean everything from there is ruined?

Mobrowncheeks · 2023-01-24T00:46:01+00:00

I promise you guys people are dating who they are attracted to regardless of a standard they set. If he makes her feel that spark but he’s 5’7 she will date him. That’s why most of us aren’t over 5’10 after all.

gate18 · 2023-01-24T01:27:59+00:00

their height was definitely their first love, not the person.

!! How did you come to that conclusion?

I doubt anyone stays with a partner because of their height.

It's like trying to tell a story after it happens, people leave some things out and highlight other things.

"Why are you with him"

Alice: "Only his height. I was able to overlook the fact that we aren't at all compatible, his height though."

It never happens.

MyLastBestChance · 2023-01-24T01:03:14+00:00

Men don’t want to be with women who aren’t attracted to them.

I also don’t want to be with a man that I’m not attracted to.

I am not attracted to men shorter than I am, ever.

I am actually doing men a favor by having a height requirement. 🤷‍♀️

nonameboredman · 2023-01-24T02:00:35+00:00

So there is also always a possibility they love the person for their height and not who they really are

They love the person for their height and who they really are. There's no harm in that because even if we all sat down holding hands repeating "I swear on all things I won't have any preferences or standards" day and night, our brains would still put preferences and standards for us. It's natural.

What's not natural is how women got brainwashed by TV and social media to really think 80% of men are below "average".

Square-Pie9671 · 2023-01-24T02:12:50+00:00

not really. demanding someone to be taller or shorter than yourself is necessary to fulfill the male female dynamic. its also fine to perceive certain heights as ideal or more attractive.

the only problem with height is stacking a top 10 percent height arbitrarily on top everything else. that may be more attractive, but to put this much weight on height past being taller without compromising on anything else is extremely entitled and delusional

neetykeeno · 2023-01-24T02:53:19+00:00

I don't think it's shallow to filter prospects on hookup apps down to a reasonable number by any means necessary and to be blunt I wouldn't care if it was shallow. What the fuck do you expect when your dick is waving in an ocean of dick... individual attention for all?

And in real life it doesn't work so much that way... people talk and other forms of attractivess can come to the fore if you have other forms of attractivess. And she still might nope out mainly over the height but yeah you were assessed as a whole.

Spirited-Track4414 · 2023-01-24T03:09:52+00:00

I guess I’m shallow then..

revente · 2023-01-24T04:25:53+00:00

So what?

Are we supposed to ditch our happiness just not to appear shallow?

Fuck that. Stop being such a people pleaser.

HazyMemory7 · 2023-01-24T05:07:38+00:00

Saying I prefer to date someone taller than myself is a preference, as I am okay with dating someone shorter than myself too. Saying I would not date someone shorter than me, and I will only date someone taller than me is not a preference, it is a physical requirement, therefore it is shallow.

News flash: human nature is inherently shallow. It makes zero sense to shame people for general preferences in a vacuum.

The more important question to ask, is that makes you worth dating for a man or a woman with those characteristics? That will illustrate whether someone is delusional and entitled or not.

TooHornyToFap · 2023-01-24T05:20:20+00:00

Idk what shallow is if height requirements isn't.

It's fine to be shallow tho. I'm shallow

statsfodder · 2023-01-24T08:16:30+00:00

I see lots of women saying that it isn't shallow to have a height requirement, that it is just "having standards" which is a good thing.

Does that also count for men who have requirements? Or is that misogyny?

Seeing as "requirements" aren't bad I should be able to safely state that I require any woman I date to be feminine, pleasant, non combative, under 30, not be obese, to not be a single mom and to not have a penis.

CodeCody23 · 2023-01-24T11:34:21+00:00

I find that the shallow critique these days is just used as a tool to shame the person you would date that wouldn’t want to date you. Its odd that height is used as an example, which men are mostly irked by, when it’s facial attractiveness which is by far the most “shallow” metric used by all genders. Go tell a person in the top percentage of attractiveness they’re shallow for going after someone equally attractive, and excluding average folk. You will look silly. If you can afford good food, you don’t open your mind to dumpster diving.

itsokiloveu · 2023-01-24T12:30:10+00:00

Every single physical characteristic we’re attracted to makes us shallow….. My best friend is 5’3 and her boyfriend is 5’6. I personally am a 5’9 woman, so much taller than average. Based on my height, I would not be dating a man shorter than myself which makes perfect sense lol

LaPrimaVera · 2023-01-24T01:02:35+00:00

I mean we could take this to the extreme and say that having a preference for dating someone who is not a methhead is okay but making it a rule is not. Most people would agree that having this as a requirement is fine but then where is the line?

If its the fact that it's physical and not behavioural okay then what about someone that's physically deformed, is it then okay to say that's a requirement? Or if it steps outside of the boundaries of normal, is it not okay to say I won't date a man that's 3ft?

As long as we are talking about this, most people when I say I won't date a man shorter than me are like "okay that's reasonable" because I'm 5'1 and a man who is 5' or less is extremely unusual (at least in western societies in 2023). Why is this acceptable but a woman whos 6' saying the same thing is vain? It's the exact same statement, just different circumstances.

anonymous-platypus1 · 2023-01-24T00:39:51+00:00

Standards and preferences and standards are different. Having a standard can be shallow: standards are the bare minimum needed to be attractive. Preferences are just if given the choice you’d probably pick the one that’s your preference, but you will date outside your preference too.

NotARussianBot1984 · 2023-01-24T00:59:06+00:00

Preferences and requirements are effectively the same thing if you want them to be.

Ex: my requirement is my gf must be younger than me.

Ex 2: I'm down to date older women, if they are Beyonce.

The likelihood of the latter is so small, that based on probabilities, unless my name is Jay Z (checks notes), my preference for younger women is effectively a requirement.

I've dated women that were taller than me. Me compared to their exes, I'm better all around than them. But the girls still struggled with my height. Can they say it's a preference for taller men? Sure but even a great short guy isn't good enough for them, so effectively it's a requirement not preference.

See? No real difference.

NationalistGoy · 2023-01-24T01:55:11+00:00

Disagree.

I don't care if women prefer taller guys, it's their preference and they have every right to reject me based on that aspect alone. While it hurts to be rejected, it is ultimately their right to do so, and I have to move on, I prefer to date someone who accepts me for who I am, rather than she secretly wish I was taller throughout the relationship.

CimZim · 2023-01-24T00:48:36+00:00

Saying I would not date someone shorter than me, and I will only date someone taller than me is not a preference, it is a physical requirement, therefore it is shallow.

What if they say they would date someone shorter to basically any height, but have a hard limit on tall people, due to how it makes them feel? It's a physical requirement, but not based on shallowness.

Bikerbats · 2023-01-24T00:46:49+00:00

Almost everyone I ever dated was taller than I am. That's not really a trick when you're as short as I am, but it's a fact nonetheless. The few times I did date someone my size or thereabouts, I never really liked it. The comments about looking like two dolls, or once even China dolls, always got to me. So, I had a soft requirement that whoever I dated pretty much had to be taller than I am. Didn't have to be 10" taller, but that's how it worked out.

I'm just going to come out and say it: I don't see how or why that should be a problem. In my mind at least, I had good reason, as I was trying to avoid comments I knew I didn't like.

mustangfrank · 2023-01-24T02:00:22+00:00

I had been divorced for about 2 years after being married for 10. I was a member of President’s and First Lady’s Health Club, and I decided to get back into shape. I worked out on certain days and times. Over the months, I recognized people who were on the same work-out schedule as me. I noticed one girl who was working out on the same days and times I was. She was in her late 20’s, about 5 foot 9 or 10”. She was in great shape and pretty.

One day she was working out at a machine about 30 feet from me. There was no one around, so we could talk in private. I thought to myself, “Nothing ventured, nothing gained”, so walked over to her to ask her out. I said these exact words,“ I have seen you work out over the last few months, and you are in great shape and very attractive, and I was wondering if you care to go out sometime?” This is what she said to me in an angry voice. “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU CAME OVER HERE!” “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT!”. She then stuck her index finger in my face and said,”I DON’T DATE SHORTER MEN. I was in a state of shock. I stopped listening to her, for I was trying to figure out how to save the conversion, and what I had said to make her so angry. It was because I did not meet her height requirements. I also realized I didn’t deserve this BS, so I walked away with her continuing to squack.

A simple and civil “No thank you” would have been sufficient, but she felt compelled to demean me, because I was not worthy to approach her. That a shorter man, (lower value in her mind), would even think he had a right to approach her much less a chance to date her, was something that had to be addressed right then and there. There was no way she was going to allow this transgression to pass; therefore, I had to be put in my place.

She thought her status was above me, much like a slave holder looked down upon a slave or a nobleman looked down upon a peasant. To a heightist, they are better simply because they are taller, and those who are of less stature are valued less as human beings. It is as plain and as simple as that. I was not a tall man, so I was not valued. I was from a lower class of men, thus no respect was given because I had no status. Furthermore, what is even more troubling about her is her response time. She didn’t take any time to think. It was instantaneous, like a reflex, an action without a thought. Which begs the question, in what society would it be acceptable for a woman to not only reject a man, but also insult him for attempting to ask her out? Where is her introspect? Where is the self-examination of her behavior? In her mind, none was needed. Unfortunately this is how most women think. The above actions are not just of heightist women but of women in general. And this can be proved by visiting any on-line dating site where women shamelessly state in no uncertain terms the height of men they will date.

sublimemongrel · 2023-01-24T02:39:25+00:00

This post is weird af and makes no sense whatsoever

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ManWazo · 2023-01-24T04:02:45+00:00

Does it apply to other physical requirements, like weights or genitals, are they shallow too, or is it just height?

JewliusCaeser · 2023-01-24T05:54:04+00:00

Meh I'm 6'3, can't get laid cus social anxiety

UneastAji · 2023-01-24T08:06:53+00:00

People talk in absolute but don't necessarily behave in absolute. I'm not sure why people nitpick this obvious shortcut people make.

y2kjanelle · 2023-01-24T09:55:09+00:00

Yes, um it’s very clear to anyone who knows the definition that a preference means to prefer or have a tendency for and is not exclusion.

HuckleberryThis2012 · 2023-01-24T15:17:00+00:00

Yeah it’s shallow but so what? My heart hates ugos, and I accept that it makes me shallow to be that way, but it is what it is.

Safinated · 2023-01-24T15:23:52+00:00

Height is a preference, and preferences can be requirements or not

The important part is that dating is voluntary

wejaow · 2023-01-24T17:09:57+00:00

People really don’t know the difference between preference and requirement. That’s crazy

NoInjury1499 · 2023-01-24T17:19:12+00:00

The reason I want a tall woman is so I can have tall kids. Specifically my sons, it's not a shallow reason.

despisedlove2 · 2023-01-24T17:41:20+00:00

How does anyone hope to get what they want if they don't make their preferences into requirements?

custardandmayoslut · 2023-01-24T19:31:56+00:00

Preferences are shallow, and that's fine.

PsychologicalHand155 · 2023-01-25T03:08:03+00:00

It’s ok to be shallow. Just don’t give up and settle for bad personality due to your shallowness (for your own sake).

It’s not like there are only two guys out there. The 5’2” awesome man vs 6’5” AH.

There are plenty of 5’7-10” awesome men out there.

Dstar538888 · 2023-01-25T18:20:13+00:00

We literally don't give a fuck lol...making struggle posts complaining about how women prefer taller men is not going to make us start fucking short dudes all of sudden...get over it..

fupadestroyer45 · 2023-01-24T08:29:49+00:00

Height attraction is anything but shallow, tall men have more reach, i.e can punch without being punched, a huge leg up in protection. Almost all universal physical preferences have deeply ingrained evolutionary reasons that are anything but shallow.

Title	Height requirements is shallow, preferences are not
Author	XxZiongalaxy47xX
Upvotes	29
Comments	403
Date	January 24, 2023 12:37 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/10jsikr/height_requirements_is_shallow_preferences_are_not/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/height-requirements-is-shallow-preferences-are-not.1149167 https://theredarchive.com/post/1149167

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