How undesirable are single dads?

purplejellyotter · 2026-07-08T12:57:36+00:00

Hard pass. I have experienced too many trying to palm the parenting off on me.

Owlblossom · 2026-07-08T12:42:42+00:00

I am with a man who has kids from a previous relationship. So, he was a single dad back then. I love this guy to death, but if I had my time over, I wouldn’t ever date a single dad again and I warn women off it whenever possible

cb8585b · 2026-07-08T12:34:46+00:00

Would’ve been a dealbreaker. But I do have a friend who dated one, her playing mommy seemed to be an expectation quickly. So for that reason and other co-parenting mess that can be associated.

chamomilecloud · 2026-07-08T12:24:29+00:00

Personally I would try to avoid dating a single dad. I would cut things off right when he told me has kids.

I might make an exception IF the mother was no longer in the picture, like he was a widower or she was a deadbeat. Navigating the co-parent can sometimes be difficult as the new girlfriend, especially when the relationship gets more serious, and I don’t want to deal with that. I also don’t think I’m equipped to handle that.

emmarie1023 · 2026-07-08T13:01:16+00:00

As someone without children, I would not date a single dad. I think there are plenty of single moms who would find him attractive though.

Cute_Contribution480 · 2026-07-08T12:46:54+00:00

I’m not interested in single dads with multiple baby mommas. Too much drama for me and chances are, some of these baby mammas are batshit crazy.

Altruistic_Look_7868 · 2026-07-08T12:39:54+00:00

About the same as single moms.

ashpr0ulx · 2026-07-08T12:34:05+00:00

i’m not against dating a single dad, and i have in the past, but the biggest hurdle is what’s the child’s mother and his relationship with her like? because that’s what really does shit in.

every relationship i’ve had with a dad ended because of the coparent relationship

Icy_Ad_4544 · 2026-07-08T12:54:31+00:00

Personally, I would not be interested unless their child(ren) were older because my son is almost 18 and I wouldn’t want to start all over. I also wouldn’t get upset if a man didn’t want to date me (if I became a single mom) for the same reason. Being a parent is HARD. I give a lot of props to those who are able to make it work. My stepdad is truly amazing and I am so thankful that he entered our lives after my father passed.

ValeWho · 2026-07-08T13:09:09+00:00

Single Dad as he is the primary caretaker of the child(ren) and they live with him full time? Is the mother co-parenting, dead or just not in the picture? How old are the children in question

I don't think I could answer in general but only for a specific case

Like a windower with a 2 year old is very different from a man who's ex wife is still co-parenting and the "child" in question is already a teenager/ almost 18

prettywords_ · 2026-07-08T15:07:13+00:00

I would never date a single dad.

I don't want to be a step mom. Or a mom. I just don't want kids.

Doesn't matter how great the guy is, it'd be a deal breaker.

Oh ew I just read he's an every other weekend dad, that is somehow even worse.

ChadChasingBReturns · 2026-07-08T12:51:08+00:00

They’re the same as single moms. It would be easier for you to date a single mom.

jorts-enthusiast · 2026-07-08T15:01:41+00:00

I personally would never date a single parent unless we’d somehow met organically and I knew a lot about his relationship with his ex and their coparenting agreement. I don’t think I’m mentally prepared or emotionally resilient enough for all of the things that come with being a step parent.

I say this largely because I grew up with divorced parents and my dad routinely dated awful women who either completely overstepped or straight up verbally abused me. Kids deserve to have all of the adults in their immediate family life on their team 100%.

bluepvtstorm · 2026-07-08T16:46:02+00:00

Highly undesirable. I have zero interest in raising a child, talking to a child’s mother, trying to do the blended family thing, pretending I like your kid, using any of my resources for a kid.

Men with children should only date women with children and vice versa. Don’t put your burdens on people with no kids.

Just_Fisherman4910 · 2026-07-08T14:41:42+00:00

If you have your kids only every other weekend, then you are NOT a single dad because you are not their primary caregiver.
The reason why this is unattractive, is because usually, those men look for women TO specifically look after their child(ren) whenever they are with the dad (him). This is obviously a huge turn-off!

badgersonice · 2026-07-08T12:34:58+00:00

When I was single and didn’t have kids, a single dad was a very hard “no”.

I was not interested in assuming the role of second to a kid I couldn’t discipline and would just say “you’re not my mom”. Plus, it’s just not worth it to try to figure out what he did wrong in his first marriage… or worse, if he had kids outside of marriage.

I acknowledge divorce always has two sides. But I fortunately didn’t have to settle like this. and I’d also be suspicious why he’s trying to get an inexperienced woman to be part of his family, when another single mom would be a way better fit.

Caveat: I were to wind up single now, after a marriage and kids, a responsible single dad would be likely ideal. Similar life experiences and all.

OkKiwi3544 · 2026-07-08T13:01:13+00:00

It would depend on a lot of factors. I’m married and in my late 20s, but if I was single and the same age as this guy, id have a lot of questions first.

-how many kids? You say children. Is that 2, 3, 4, more?
-are they all the kids of the same woman? Or multiple different women?
-were you married to this woman?
-how long were you with her and is she still enmeshed in your family/friends group? Long term can mean a lot of things.
-why is she no longer in the picture? If she’s still alive, are you on good or bad terms?
-would she vouch for you being a good person?
-do you have full custody? Partial custody? No custody? What does that look like and how involved are you? How involved do you want to be?
-what are you wanting out of me? Just a girlfriend? Are you looking for a new mother to your children? Are you looking for a wife and mother to your children?
-what would you want out of me as far as caregiving? Do you want me taking them to school and Dr appointments? Am I allowed to discipline the kids that live in my house or no?
-how old are your kids? Infants, toddlers, children, teens?
-how are you planning to explain my presence to them? Do you think they’d be happy by me being there?
-you’re mid-20s and with multiple children (unk age). What made you want to have kids and why so young? Were they planned?

There are so many layers to unfold once kids are involved, and it would honestly depend on you answering *all* of the questions correctly by my standard for me to consider.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2026-07-08T13:46:07+00:00

its not the kids, its the ex still having to exist in his life. if she was dead id be ok with it

Realistic-Ad-1023 · 2026-07-08T15:08:12+00:00

It depends on if he’s a single dad or a dad who has children with someone. Those are two different things. A single mom typically implies she does the primary care of the children. A single dad implies the same. If he is a weekend warrior, you call those “people with children” - not single parents.

waffleznstuff30 · 2026-07-08T15:09:26+00:00

It's an absolute deal breaker for me personally.

I don't want kids. I want to be with someone who more or less feels the same. I enjoy the freedom that not having kids grants me. We can go out on a Saturday night and not worry about babysitters. Do things on impulse without having to worry about kids. Also I think the mentality and values would be different. They are a parent I am not a parent. So I can't really relate or begin to understand.

TheColdWoman · 2026-07-08T15:22:41+00:00

When I was single (no kids at the time), I'd never date a man with kids, so it would reduce his overall desireability to near zero.

ThatBitchA · 2026-07-08T15:37:54+00:00

I never want children so I never dated single dads.

Artistic_Bumblebee17 · 2026-07-08T16:29:33+00:00

It’s a significant handicap especially since your peers are mostly childless still. I’m older and I still wouldn’t touch that.

Prior-Impression-871 · 2026-07-08T12:38:11+00:00

If they live with the kids, about as undesirable as single moms

Single dads' relative desirability compared to single moms is 99% due to them not bothering to file for custody

Women should just let men have the kids and live their best lives

NotAllTheCake · 2026-07-08T13:23:46+00:00

"Nah. Single dads are ran through with their baggage and make horrible decisions with their 2 or 3 baby mommas. I am not going to raise another woman's child. Why would l play with some woman's save file?"

But seriously, very undesirable. Go on the stepparents sub. It's just post after post from women tired of caring for kids that don't belong to her but can't leave the relationship because she's anchored to the guy with her own baby. It’s gotten so bad that l scan the post for any mention of "ours" babies and l breathe a sign of relief if she's childless. She can leave the relationship scotfree and never look back.

Men are entitled to women's unpaid labor. It would be fine if men did all their share of the parenting when they have custody. But they don't, because they're always looking to delegate. They manage to split their portion in half. So a single dad gets 100% of the benefits of children, while doing about 25% of the work because he's manipulated two women into doing the remaining 75%.

QuestioningThink · 2026-07-08T13:01:42+00:00

I’m not raising any child that didn’t come out of me or isn’t one of my siblings’ children.

mooncake_bites · 2026-07-08T13:22:44+00:00

A hard no unless maybe he was widowed. But even then, I wouldn’t take it so lightly. You’re responsible for someone else’s kids who’s probably already traumatized by their parents separating or their mom dying. Your presence will also be a source of pain to them. You also don’t have the authority as the biological parent so it’s harder to raise them. I would also consider why did the mom give up custody for the kids? And how do I know he’s not just using me as a replacement of a daycare? It is not something you just look over as a small “downside.”

Accomplished_Sweetie · 2026-07-08T13:49:12+00:00

Downside is having children?

Gilmoregirlin · 2026-07-08T14:28:24+00:00

If you are looking to date women also in their 20s who are childless, I would say it lowers your value substantially. But I don't have kids. But there are some women who also have kids and are in their 20s who have kids who may be open to it, or even looking for it.

chalkandapples · 2026-07-08T14:35:28+00:00

If I had no children, absolutely not. If I did have children, then I can consider it.

ladybird_00 · 2026-07-08T16:39:01+00:00

Single dad would be automatically disqualified for me

Lemon_gecko · 2026-07-08T12:23:26+00:00

I don't think in terms of "his overall desirability or SMV". But i don't know what you want to hear. Of course children are huge factor in dating, is this really news? And then for some women it would be dealbreaker, and for some depends on other factors. Isn't this obvious? Like what answer did you expect? -5 points to your stats or something?

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SnooCats37 · 2026-07-08T12:58:27+00:00

In a scenario where I was still in my early to mid 20’s, my opinion would be based on whether he was a present dad or not.

ChadChasingBReturns · 2026-07-08T13:07:24+00:00

I wouldn’t meet anyone’s kids until an engagement was in the picture. I’d want to know why he’s not with their mother and l’d want to hear her side as well. I’d expect him to have time to himself for dating and for our relationship to be a priority on its own.

Siukslinis_acc · 2026-07-08T13:50:38+00:00

Depends on may factors. Is the kid in toddler stage, how is the relationship with their mom, how is the coparenting situation, how much of parental responsibility would fall on me, does the kid hate me.

One of the things of dating a single parent is that not only you need to get a green light from the parent, but also from the kid.

ouishi · 2026-07-08T14:25:38+00:00

Not a dealbreaker for me, I love kids!

KoninginVanRotterdam · 2026-07-08T16:20:56+00:00

If the guy is a co-parent and he talks lovingly about his children, he doesn't try to "hide" them and its obvious the children are his priority thn I have no problems with the fact that he is a father.

Any man who does not take care of his children, or barely takes care of them is OUT for me. I am not a mother, but I loathe bad parents.

Ive dated a single father of 3.

Novel-Tip-7570 · 2026-07-08T16:53:17+00:00

I'm married to one and honestly, I wouldn't recommend it at all. Becoming a stepmother means being everyone's punching bag.

PuzzleheadedRow9896 · 2026-07-08T17:35:35+00:00

Hard pass and an ew. I'm 32 and if god forbid something happened to my husband, I'm not sure I'd still want to date a single dad and it's still much more likely than not given my age. I may choose single over someone else's mess.

love_in_october · 2026-07-08T17:36:55+00:00

Immediate no from me. I don't want children.

y2kjanelle · 2026-07-08T17:39:29+00:00

In my opinion??? Zero. No single dads im not dating someone with children because I don’t want them yet

A lot of men are mature cute and groomed, please

Title	How undesirable are single dads?
Author	Extra_Glass2044
Upvotes	1
Comments	135
Date	July 8, 2026 11:56 AM UTC (3 weeks ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1uqqinz/how_undesirable_are_single_dads/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-undesirable-are-single-dads.1584530 https://theredarchive.com/post/1584530

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