Is it even possible to "fix" the issues around dating apps?

sweetestpineapple · 2024-02-22T00:21:49+00:00

No. They profit off of desperate men staying on those apps and buying the paid versions to increase their chances. Similarly, I’ve heard women saying that Hinge shows them less attractive/compatible matches with the free version vs the paid one. Women I know typically don’t have dating apps “just in case;” they’ll download them when the mood strikes and delete them when they find a partner or want a date from dating. Men I know have the apps and use them passively without really expecting to get a match but keep them on their phone just in case.

Safinated · 2024-02-21T23:01:55+00:00

All dating spaces are sausage fests

Lying and scamming can be done irl

Looks are the first thing people notice irl

Friedrich_Friedson · 2024-02-22T00:02:53+00:00

Lol, dating apps (most of them anyway) don't even let you see who likes you without paying.

Its a huge scum tbf.

Sad_and_grossed_out · 2024-02-21T23:10:53+00:00

How to fix dating apps-

Step One- Get off dating apps.

Now you're free!

SillyMushroomTip · 2024-02-21T23:12:37+00:00

No, , damage is done

desert_fly · 2024-02-22T01:01:33+00:00

Center the apps around shared interests, values, life goals.

He may be Giga-Chad, but if he doesn't love Star Trek, he's out.

FizzleMateriel · 2024-02-21T23:07:57+00:00

I reckon that you could design an app that overcomes the issues but it would need to treat women, average and below-average men, and above-average men all very differently. I have ideas for that.

Like ultimately restrict the choice for women. Let’s say they can only have two or three active chats at a time, and can’t swipe or have another chat initiated. If they want to talk to someone else they have to un-match someone but there’s a cool-down for them where they have to wait maybe 48 hours to swipe/have a new chat started.

Men can have more active chats but if the app detects you have a high ELO / user score it will then lower the allowable number of chats with matches for those men who’re in the upper deciles for swipes from women.

And I think ultimately the company behind the app would need to not be profit-motivated. One of the biggest issues is that the incentives of the companies behind the apps aren’t aligned with the desired outcomes of the users.

treadmarks · 2024-02-22T00:03:48+00:00

It's difficult to disrupt the dating app market because new dating apps have no users. Dating apps are only useful if they have users. It's a chicken and egg problem.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-02-22T04:33:35+00:00

What you call “issues” dating apps call “ways to maximize profits”.

They have made a conscious decision between making the product a better user experience or make as much possible for themselves.

They picked the latter

And it works.

Legitimate_Type_1324 · 2024-02-22T05:08:28+00:00

The match group is being sued for creating apps that are addictive.

Why do people keep using these? These are not designed with your best interests in mind.

Fucking tinder brain women and men become mentally dysfunctional after years of use.

wtknight · 2024-02-21T23:31:40+00:00

Gender imbalance: Men seem to use dating apps more than women, and the women that do use them get consistently more responses than men.

Making men pay and women not pay would fix this. It's probably just easier for men to try to "approach" women in the online spaces where more women tend to go.

Fake profiles and scams: Dating apps are a very common way for scammers to target people online.

Dating apps can probably do a better job of patrolling this, but they don't since it creates the illusion of more women being on the site than their actually are, which attracts more customers. From what I understand, one can already upload a bunch of photos on most dating apps. The only thing I can think of is for people to demand more actual conversation/video chats before actually meeting up.

Dishonest intentions: This one is more of an issue for women I've seen, even if you're perfectly honest and upfront about your dating intentions it's likely you might get someone who will string you along to get what they want.

This happens in real life dating when strangers meet, too. There's nothing one can do about this except only meet people who someone else already knows and can vouch for.

EricSec · 2024-02-22T02:45:28+00:00

We would need a cultural change in our society (US) that rejects hookup culture, and celebrates monogamous long term relationships. If that does not happen, then the issues you stated will continue to exist.

Cethlinnstooth · 2024-02-21T23:26:54+00:00

I keep saying...if we were willing to fund it through taxes the government could run a significantly different sort of dating app. Then at least you'd have a meaningful choice of apps

AidsVictim · 2024-02-22T08:40:57+00:00

They are only fixable when the profit motive is ripped out, which basically means they're only fixable as a publicly owned corp/service. If they were actually based around getting people matched up based on probabilities of compatibility and not trying to figure out how to get people (mostly men) to spend money then their success ratios would skyrocket.

waffleznstuff30 · 2024-02-22T18:53:24+00:00

Don't use dating apps. Seriously just don't. That's the best way to fix them is not buy what they are selling. The apps are not working for most people it makes this psychologically gambling like if I put more money in maybe my perfect partner will be here. And it's not because they want returning customers. People who found success on apps with a relationship are mistakes. Because the apps are designed to keep you single.

You can't control other people being shitheads which is why a lot of women are kind of turned off from the apps. Maybe put people's best matches in a more accessible way instead of a paywall? (So most compatible and looking for the same things). Be able to have a red flag system. Like if the persons a serial ghoster, lies about intentions, and generally flakey uninterested in dating that should stick on the profile so people can have an idea of what they are getting into. Typically with meeting people offline you have a better way to vet people. Online there's a lot of anonymity so you don't know who you are getting involved with.

Wattehfok · 2024-02-22T01:07:33+00:00

A couple of JDAMs into the Match.com server farms would probably improve matters.

Kind-Dare7852 · 2024-02-22T01:46:08+00:00

Not in a way that would make people choose it over other apps.

Sessile-B-DeMille · 2024-02-22T02:46:00+00:00

At all ages, there are more men than women that describe themselves as single and looking for dating and relationships. There's no way to fix that, so anything you do in this space is going to leave some men out.

527east · 2024-02-22T03:49:09+00:00

Besides getting off of them?

M3taBuster · 2024-02-22T17:52:44+00:00

The only issue that's impossible to completely eliminate is the gender imbalance. However, I think it can be reduced by adding more features that allow the user to convey their personality more, like Hinge does (which, IIRC has one of the least imbalanced gender ratios out of all the popular dating apps).

What can totally be fixed:

- very strict verification requirements to keep out bots

- permanently ban users who advertise other social media accounts

- drastically reducing the amount of time after which inactive profiles are no longer displayed, at least until that user logs on again; or even only displaying profiles that are currently online

- tons and tons of tags that you can sort by or blacklist, for everything from hobbies, to political views, to drug use, to tattoos; most apps have way too few of these, and often lock them behind a paywall, but they're essential for assessing relationship compatibility with other users

- no more secret manipulated shadow algorithms; the only criteria for displaying one user's profile on another user's feed should be whether their profile is active, and whether they match the other user's tag selections

Substantial_Video560 · 2024-02-23T11:46:32+00:00

No, dating apps should be banned as they exploit vulnerable men for profit. There also responsible for the decline in men's mental health. It's disgusting in all honesty!

TRTGymBro · 2024-02-21T23:04:18+00:00

Yes go out and meet women in real life that will fix all your issues. If you don't want to do that that you don't want it enough. You are not horny enough. Try being gay.

Old_Initial_9778 · 2024-02-22T00:05:50+00:00

The gender imbalance will never be fixed unless there’s some mass exodus of men swearing off the apps to go meet people irl for whatever reason (not photogenic, more extroverted, etc). Dating apps being the commodification of relationships is just something we gotta accept in our lives. Bots/scams is a fixable issue if there’s better security measures on these apps but people with dishonest intentions will always be there so long as there’s a line of people at their door ready to be suckered.

Spare-Estimate5596 · 2024-02-22T00:59:20+00:00

You cant fix the gender imbalance women are already dating men or they dont want to date men at all. Fake profiles is how they lie about how many women are on the site. Dishonest intentions? All men want sex its up to women to make sure they keep the man after they have sex with him

Beautiful_Morning532 · 2024-02-22T03:11:12+00:00

The answer will be Capitalism. To fix Dating app, you have to find ANOTHER way to monetize it...

Why is it what some apps were "good" until Match Inc buys them out? As much as Hinge claims it's meant to be deleted, it isn't. It is the app's best interest to NOT find you a match.

I can see Meta or Google creating an actual "Free" working dating app. In a world of "privacy" dating app seems to be a goldmine of information. When it is becoming harder and harder to to "track" people, Dating apps can "circumvent" this. Happn - it tracks your location and see who you come across with to match. People are filling out surveys about themselves, voluntarily. There's no other place where people voluntary giving out this much information about themselves. Interests, hobbies, bucket lists, traveling

I've been liking Facebook dating, and I imagine that Facebook Dating will become a lot bigger. I'm hoping that it can continue in the "right" direction... hopefully, they can create the app without much of the built in monetized flaws (don't need to hide likes, and preferences behind a paywall. They currently do not have a limit on likes/day). You need a Facebook account... and this can help with fake profile.

Just remember it is your DATA that is monetized. If two people met on Facebook dating, assume that Meta will have ALL the information: Where the first date was, how many dates together, did the relationship last. You'll start seeing ads on vacation package to one your travel destination (around the time of your anniversary)... or Uber to delivery Plan B after they know you spent the night together. As much as I hate to give them more information, if they can fix OLD......

vinceoffershlomi · 2024-02-22T02:59:05+00:00

As far as match group is concerned, there's nothing wrong with the apps. They're making a lot of money off of them. The issue is that the pandemic resulted in an artificially increased user base that has since stopped using it after things opened up. To maintain shareholder profits in an upward trajectory, the app started to become worse and essentially pay to play. So no, there's nothing wrong with the apps, they're relatively profitable.

HighestTierMaslow · 2024-02-22T18:10:00+00:00

The solution is for men to stop being so thirsty and desperate for casual sex/emotional validation from the opposite sex via dates and sex. If men stopped doing this none of these problems would exist. Dating apps profit off of male nature.

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FutureBannedAccount2 · 2024-02-21T23:52:11+00:00

Of course it's possible and very simple.

Gender imbalance: This really isn't something you can fix but also isn't really a major issue unless you're going for quantity over quality. With the amount of users on the most popular apps this is something that you wouldn't even notice without stats.
Fake profiles and scams: Very easy. You add in a verificaiton process using phone and email, and also remove profiles who's pictures are duplicates. Each new profile can also be reviewed by a team of humans. Tinder seems to be the only app with this problem and that's because it makes it seem like there are more users
Dishonest intentions: This one you can't really solve and this is just human nature. But you could implement a penalization system for people who ghost while also limiting the amount of people you're able to talk to.

The problem is that the more you limit people the less profit you're able to make. By gamifying the process, it makes it 'fun' for people so they continue to use it and pay money. It's not lucrative for dating apps to actually find you a date. That would be like mcdonalds funding advertisments against fast food

Ok-Dust-4156 · 2024-02-22T03:19:37+00:00

Maybe. Verification that you're an actual person plus up-front payment. But such apps won't make money and won't have big enough audience to be profitable and/or useful.

KorinTowerFreeloader · 2024-02-22T08:54:21+00:00

In a utopian world, the algorithm could "rate people" and only allow 7s to match with fellow 7s, 5s with 5s, etc. However, in that instance, women would leave the dating apps. Let's be honest, dating apps for women are what porn is for men. A fantasy world that keeps their hopes alive that one day it will be their life. It won't.

RubyDiscus · 2024-02-22T10:48:38+00:00

Only something can be done about fake profiles likely but not the other stuff. Those other ones are basically inherent to online dating.

I am thinking it would be good to have a universal chat room and also different chat rooms in online dating apps. So there is an opportinity to meet people more organically in a chat scenario. Instead of basically each male individually messaging each woman. I think something good could come from having a state chat and area chat and maybe interest based chat rooms.

Freevoulous · 2024-02-22T12:49:11+00:00

Fix for who's benefit? The interest of men, women and the owners of the App does not align.

But for the sake of the argument, the way the Appas can be fixed:

Use 3rd party matchmaking instead of self-matching. This is key. Users would not be able to match themselves with others, but judge algorithm-derived matches between strangers. Notably, how often the algorithm puts you out for matches should depend on how often and how well you match others.
The initial algorithm would use facial recog to match similarily attractive people and present it for 3rd party matchmaking to judge. The App would also have a mid-sized questionnaire that would need to match to some degree before Matchmaking is even allowed.
Post Date Review. Many Apps do that, but this is key as well. Users should be able to judge the interaction with the person they were matched with on the 1-5 stars scale. This only unlocks if both matched partners confirm they met IRL, AND there is a log of them sending messages back and forth. This would weed out scammers, bots and creeps pretty easily.
Sub-Matches. Kinda like subreddits, these would be distinct sets of people who share the same background or hobby, or whatever and want to try being matched only with similar people. Example: Submatch/SeattleGoths, Submatch/SingleParentsLondon, Submatch/BDSMParis etc.
Gender Balance. Users should be able to identify as Female, Male, Other. Number of Male accounts will not be allowed to outnumber Female accounts. Everyone is free to have an Other account, but will not be matched with those who are only seeking a distinct Male/Female gender.

The idea here is, to detach match-choices from either personal gain of the users or the corporate gain. The only way for you to match anyone is if the impersonal algorithm and the collective of Matchmakers thinks you two would fit well together (for good or for ill.) This is the closets thing we can make to a system that matches you with your looksmatches of compatible character.

obviousredflag · 2024-02-22T17:19:49+00:00

Are these issues just an immutable part of online dating

How is this different in offline dating?

dacution · 2024-02-22T22:24:43+00:00

I use dating apps but I don’t take them that seriously. Most of my success comes from approaching women IRL. But I lose nothing from messaging a few women on dating apps in my free time, so why not?

BatemaninAccounting · 2024-02-23T11:44:27+00:00

Gender imbalance: Men seem to use dating apps more than women, and the women that do use them get consistently more responses than men.

Several apps have more women on them than men. I believe Bumble's latest stats were like 60/40 women/men. There are other niche dating sites like the infamous Disney dating ones where it's overwhelmingly women. This is a cultural thing at the end of the day. If women feel empowered to use apps, they will. IF they don't, then men will be the dominate group using them because men tend to have lower standards for short term dating prospects.

Fake profiles and scams: Dating apps are a very common way for scammers to target people online.

Fixable by any dev team that cares to do so.

Dishonest intentions: This one is more of an issue for women I've seen, even if you're perfectly honest and upfront about your dating intentions it's likely you might get someone who will string you along to get what they want.

This is a cultural issue, not an app issue. However the apps could get better at identifying liars and eliminating them from the app. We could also move back to the OKCupid thing where you are forced to fill out enough psychological data that isn't easily faked, that let other users know what your true personality is like.

HappyVer · 2024-02-24T10:06:15+00:00

Why can't men's priorities be considered an honest intention? Stop trying to demonize male sexuality.

shadowrangerfs · 2024-02-24T23:52:20+00:00

I have a plan that I think would work. But I also think it would drive people away from the apps.

Limit the number of people you can message each week.

Let's say a person was only allowed to message 3 people each week. You can message those 3 people as much as you want. But you can only message 3 people.

It solves a lot of problems. Women would get fewer messages so they could take the time to read and respond to them all. They have an incentive because they'll know that these men used on of the THREE people a week on her. Plus, since men can only message 3 women, they're gonna put more thought into their messages. This also insures that men get responses to their messages. It also encourages women to message men first.

The second benefit is that it forces people to be both more picky and realistic. You don't want use one of your messages on someone below your standard but you also don't want to waste it on someone out of your league.

The flaw is that this idea will bruise a lot of egos. If men can only message 3 women per week, a LOT of women are gonna get no messages at all. And a lot of those women will quit using the app instead of messaging men first. The same applies to the women who don't like the men who are messaging them and think they should be getting better.

A lot of men aren't going to like having to be realistic about the caliber of woman they can actually get.

The other issue is that when women do decide to message a man, they'll go for the most attractive guys. So you'll still have the situation of a small percent of men getting most of the women's attention.

kvakerok_v2 · 2024-02-26T23:32:38+00:00

The "issues" around the dating apps are people. You can't fix people.

Title	Is it even possible to "fix" the issues around dating apps?
Author	VirginAndIHateMyself
Upvotes	7
Comments	176
Date	February 21, 2024 10:53 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1awq3d1/is_it_even_possible_to_fix_the_issues_around/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-it-even-possible-to-fix-the-issues-around.1246049 https://theredarchive.com/post/1246049

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