I see a lot of adult women on reddit claiming that between the ages 12-18 they were at their most 'shallow' phase in their life as far as picking potential partner goes, by this they mean that they developed crushes on boys for the most superficial reasons; primarily looks, style, popularity... and that nice guys just have to wait till as girls once in their 20s will gradually start appreciating other qualities besides looks, like personality, humor, life goals, etc..
I couldn't disagree more with this.
When I was in high-school me and my not-so-conventionally attractive friends all managed to have romantic experiences with girls, and it was way easier that in college. Even more, I was far from a "Jock" (i was asian, pale, and underweight) and even I got cold approached by a conventionally attractive girl in school. High school was the last time I really saw couples that were, for the lack of a better term; "looksmatched" in the sense that you could see skinny girls date scrawny boyish types like me.
Fast forward and we're in our mid 20s; I decided to creep on social media of my hs sweethearts; the guys they are dating now are all the complete opposite of me; tall, white, conventionally handsome, lumber-jack types with a stubble. The most hilarious experience I had just weeks ago was running into a girl who had a crush on me when she was 15, but I was 5 years older so I didn't pursue anything, and I've gotten the "LOL I didn't know what was I thinking back then" treatment from her. Oh, did I mention that she also dates a jacked 6" tall white dude sporting a undercut?
tl;dr girls standards as far as physical attractiveness comes actually get more uniform and narrow as they enter their 20s, than in high-school where they are more plural.
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[–][deleted] [recovered] (119 children) | Copy Link
From age 22 till your late 20s will be the hardest time for most men to date. At that age, you’re competing with all other men including the senior executives in their 30s and 40s. Meanwhile, women in their 20s are essentially in their prime right after college.
If you’re smart, you’ll use your 20s to gradually invest in self-improvement while you have a ton of energy. If you’re dumb and lazy, you’ll waste your 20s watching tv, playing video games, getting out of shape, and not becoming any more desirable.
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Well there’s your problem. Hopefully you spend your 30s learning from the mistakes you made in your 20s.
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Assuming you’re making enough money to make ends meet right now, developing a social circle should be your #1 priority in your life right now.
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[–][deleted] [recovered] (27 children) | Copy Link
Why are you still cold approaching in 2020? Cut that shit out. The only way you should be meeting women nowadays is through your social circle or through online dating.
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That time spent cold approaching should be time spent learning how to master online dating and broadening your social circle.
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If that's been your experience, then you're just bad at online dating and need to practice more.
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Hard for me to comment without seeing what your OLD profile looks like or what your conversations look like with your matches, but it sounds like your profile isn't as optimized as you think.
???
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Lol I knew it. You're making the classic mistake of being way too sexual way too soon. That can work occasionally, but you'll have much better success rates if you focus on coming across as "normal" (or, even better: witty) and then switching to being sexual once you're talking to them face-to-face.
I'm assuming your photos and/or profile description are highly-sexualized as well?
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In a nutshell: it's incredibly inefficient compared to social circle and online dating.
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Of course. If you read further down this thread, you'll find me advising men to prioritize cultivating a social circle and making friends/meeting women through there
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I'm 29 and I set my age range on apps to 22-33. I consistently match with and meet women in that age range.
You should still be dating while focusing on bettering yourself. That's how you measure your progress. Chances are you'll find someone you really like along the way, and then you can choose where to go from there.
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Men who complain about online dating on the internet are not representative of men as a whole. If you're an abnormally unattractive and/or socially-awkward guy, there's probably a high chance that you're both bad at online dating and likely to complain about being bad at online dating on the internet with other men who are in the same boat.
Many men on PPD, TRP, and Reddit in general fall into that category. In other words: it's not a good sample population to draw conclusions from.
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Because their options skyrocketed when they hit their 20s
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