It's always considered men responsibility to make women feel safe around them.

y2kjanelle · 2026-06-12T23:25:41+00:00

Tbh men don’t really go out of their way, that’s why they have the reputation they do. I dont think they do or need to do anything extra, but i totally see why people are more wary including other men.

I get approached by enough good men and approach enough good men for my liking. Men can continue to do what they wish i wouldnt expect anything different.

AdenJax69 · 2026-06-12T19:48:58+00:00

This comment caught my attention:

And what I'd say to men who are navigating this is it's not about you, but it is about you at the same time. You can't change the dynamic. Yes, but you can stop internalizing it as evidence that you're not lovable, which I know from my experience coaching is what a lot of men do.

I mean, if you really wanted to take this to the enth-degree, you could theoretically make the same claim towards black people - it would be just as insulting however it would absolutely NOT be as accepted as it is to talk-down to men like that. Observe:

And what I'd say to ~~men~~ black people who are navigating this is it's not about you, but it is about you at the same time. You can't change the dynamic. Yes, but you can stop internalizing it as evidence that you're not ~~lovable~~ violent, which I know from my experience coaching is what a lot of ~~men~~ black people do.

Imagine someone making the above claim - would ANY decent person agree with that? Of course not, because it's playing on the stereotype that the average black person is violent and because of that THEY have to take responsibility for that...even though most level-headed people aren't thinking that way for even a moment.

But men in-general? Treat them like dangerous animals that escaped from the local zoo on-average and no one bats an eye. She's basically saying "There's men out there that are shitty & dangerous enough that we've decided YOU have to stop feeling like garbage for being looked at that way, even if you & the majority of your gender have made strides in the treatment of women, the fight for equality, etc. No, you're still at-fault and you need to stop taking it so personal when we want nothing to do with you on a humane-level."

Very weird to say that and not see the disconnect of treating men like they're not people with real thoughts & feelings. Nope, this women apparently wants people to "man-up" and stop being so emotional about these things. Good way to improve the gender divide, huh?

TopPaint6720 · 2026-06-12T18:59:01+00:00

Men don’t have to prove they’re good, but women don’t have to be friendly to strange men either. Women aren’t responsible for taking risks with men they know nothing about just so good men don’t feel socially rejected. Trust is earned, not owed.

PositionStandard6089 · 2026-06-13T00:24:08+00:00

so interesting that, in the video, she says that norah vincent's biggest takeaway was how isolated men are from each other emotionally, and that was the most difficult aspect of "being a man".

Bitter-Hat-4736 · 2026-06-13T03:16:59+00:00

I think the expectation isn't that men make women feel safe, but that men do not do things that make women feel unsafe. It's a subtle, but important, distinction.

Mission-Pie-7192 · 2026-06-13T03:57:09+00:00

People in society have a reasonable obligation to try to avoid making strangers feel afraid for no reason.

Enough-Business-8287 · 2026-06-13T05:56:23+00:00

Honestly, as someone who's been bullied as a teenager, I've come to see BOTH men and women as potential threats, men are a potential sexual threat, however an unknown woman may cause me lots of emotional pain by trying to ruin me socially, spreading rumors about me and so on.

Gravel_Roads · 2026-06-12T19:58:24+00:00

If you want a woman to WANT to be around you, it’s your responsibility to be someone she will want to be around.

If you don’t care that women want to avoid you, it’s true that you have no responsibility to make them.

Afraid_Fondant_7903 · 2026-06-13T19:04:32+00:00

Men don’t have to prove they are good. And women until proven otherwise will assume they aren’t. Both are true.

Legal_Implement_5098 · 2026-06-12T22:07:23+00:00

Who cares? I wouldnt do anything to make them feel safe, dont care how they feel.

Flaneur50 · 2026-06-12T20:19:29+00:00

Behaving in a manner that'st trustworthy is the right and the practical thing to do. Whay would you argue against that?

Titsoffwork · 2026-06-12T19:19:59+00:00

I don’t need men to “make me feel safe” I need them to leave me alone. Full stop.

I’d feel safe if they didn’t cat call me, follow me, and tell me to smile.

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BanDeezNutzPlease · 2026-06-13T01:26:52+00:00

If a man does nothing wrong and a woman still feel uncomfortable around him then that's her problem. Some people are fucked and feel uncomfortable for no reason. That's their problem. Not everyone else's problem. If I'm walking down the street minding my own business and some woman feels uncomfortable, then fuck her. I'm not begging for her friendship. I'm asking her for anything. So I don't care about her or her feelings. I'm just minding my own business and handling my own business.

brizia · 2026-06-12T19:02:16+00:00

Well then women don’t have to go out of their way to interact or date men.

In conclusion: Women shouldn’t be responsible for men being single.

Solondthewookiee · 2026-06-12T18:56:35+00:00

You can just leave women alone. I'm willing to bet women are fine with that.

screw56 · 2026-06-12T18:58:21+00:00

Well yea if women face a systemic threat to their livelihood from men overall, then men at an individual need to make sure they don’t contribute to that?

Most women just ask you to leave them alone or treat them like normal humans tho.

mobjack · 2026-06-12T19:12:10+00:00

As a man, learning how to make women feel safe is a good skill to have.

brooklyn_jinx · 2026-06-12T19:10:54+00:00

Men are partly responsible. They should take care of their demeanor and the way they act. But in the end, they can't do much other than act like decent human beings.

The blame doesn't go on men or women. It only goes on the real creeps.

Unfortunately the fear women have will never go away. Men can't do anything about it, neither can women. Creeps will always exist, women will always live in fear of walking alone anywhere.

No man needs to prove their not a rapist, just like a random woman doesn't need to prove she isn't a theif. Just be normal.

Acrobatic-Monk9735 · 2026-06-12T19:15:20+00:00

All she says is to give personal space, get affirmative consent, and to be polite. I don’t understand why men get so defensive about such basic advice.

AikenDrumstick · 2026-06-13T04:35:05+00:00

Kinda funny that some of the comments in this thread are pretty convincing evidence that women DO need to be cautious.

And that fact means that decent men can and should invest the minimal time and thought it takes into becoming someone who does not come across as a threat or a creep. It’s not rocket science. It’s not even HARD.

Unless you want to resist the idea that women are rational to feel the way they do. Unless you want to call them “entitled” or “selfish” instead of considering that they are humans just like you who are being mindful of their actual situation. If that’s your attitude, then the adjustments ARE hard. Because you may, in fact, be a creep, and it’s not an easy thing to mask.

if your RP-addled brain rebels against accepting actual reality for women… well, then yeah, you will consider it an unfair imposition when you’re expected to make an effort to not be a creep.

So go ahead. Fantasize about a world where men leave women utterly alone in retaliation for whatever you think their crime is. The earth will continue to spin without you.

DavidSwimmer19 · 2026-06-12T21:59:09+00:00

The thing is, you can make a 100 women feel "safe" but it doesn't make them want to be around you or date you. I've only ever felt at most "tolerated" by women that say I make them feel safe.

The women that want to date me are almost always uncomfortable around me, they check themselves, they perform rituals. They put on an act. Because they WANT to be judged. Women that don't want to date me feel "safe" enough around me to vent about their BFs before I shut that shit down. Somehow the women that say they feel safe around me also are the same women that couldn't give a shit about my emotional state.

Safety is a good thing. The perception of safety means nothing. A woman that says she feels safe around you just means she sees you as dickless.

-mixedsignals · 2026-06-13T02:33:03+00:00

Clickbait title.

The expectation is that you behave NORMAL. Walk the street like a normal person, don't catcall, don't follow, don't stare (no matter what the woman is wearing), don't be weird.

The bar is incredibly low and yet men here still complain they are expected to behave like socialized humans

pico-sooooo · 2026-06-12T19:38:47+00:00

I think if you’re a good person you should risk making people uncomfortable and put yourself out there. There was a time in history when people thought it was perfectly socially acceptable to chat with strangers.

Otjahe · 2026-06-12T18:59:03+00:00

If you want to stay alone nobody is stopping you.

Salt_Mathematician24 · 2026-06-12T18:59:09+00:00

Who's responsibility should it be?

AchingAmy · 2026-06-12T18:57:57+00:00

So... the alternatives are avoiding women entirely(kinda impossible unless you become a hermit) or acting unsafe. Kinda a dick move to act unsafe to people. I wouldn't do that to anyone. We kinda all have a responsibility to not be a dick.

Anyway, please do stop interacting with me irl. I have no reason to interact with men except when forced to for work, school, or when they force it by approaching/catcalling/harassing me

PrecisionHat · 2026-06-12T23:22:55+00:00

I mean, I certainly don't want women to feel unsafe around me. But I also resent the expectation that I have to worry about that in a lot of situations. Like if I'm walking at night and a woman is walking near me. She can cross the street if she's feeling unsafe. That's an emblematic situation for this discussion. In some situations, a woman somehow gets this idea that she's the center of the universe or something and I'm supposed to respect that? The idea has become so pervasive I've seen some women actually get upset if a guy doesn't immediately make her emotions his top priority.

PositionStandard6089 · 2026-06-13T00:35:46+00:00

"They still want a one-sided world where men are the only gender expected to follow roles." "In conclusion: Men shouldn't be responsible for grown ass adults feelings."

but ahhhh, women do all kinds of things to manage (some) men's feelings and men's egos, and men's unwanted attention, and men's anger, and the entitlement some men feel towards our time and our bodies...

eta this my lived experience and many women's lived experience, this does not mean i have no empathy for men and what they go through, but it does mean that men are most definitely not the only gender having to navigate the other ones "feelings"

AggravatingFlow1178 · 2026-06-13T04:49:04+00:00

You used a whole lot of words to contribute very little to your actual claim.

It's always considered men responsibility to make women feel safe around them

I think it's up to every person to make everyone around them feel safe to a reasonable limit. That will sometimes mean men should take action to make women feel safe.

The alternative claim is "It's ok for men to make women feel unsafe", which is a shitty perspective on life.

Lemon_gecko · 2026-06-12T18:57:01+00:00

Who else's responsibility should it be? Men put women in danger - so yes, you (collectively) have the responsibility to negate that feeling. Who else could even do that? Whose actions led to that?

Outside_Memory5703 · 2026-06-13T00:28:25+00:00

Usually the people who do things are expected to be accountable for things, yes

Especially if the people who they do these things to are expected to prevent men from doing things to them

Lysa_Bell · 2026-06-12T18:56:27+00:00

Whats the debate here? Are men responsible to act a certain way because other men fuck it up for them? Is that it?

Title	It's always considered men responsibility to make women feel safe around them.
Author	PassengerCultural421
Upvotes	10
Comments	291
Date	June 12, 2026 6:51 PM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1u444rz/its_always_considered_men_responsibility_to_make/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/its-always-considered-men-responsibility-to-make.1582670 https://theredarchive.com/post/1582670

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