Q4M: Between two identical looking men, who’s going to have the most casual sex: the intro or the extro?

Expensive-Care1746 · 2025-12-20T23:59:38+00:00

“Closed mouth doesn’t get fed”

Is and will always be true no matter what the introverts says. If you know you know.

TheRedPillRipper · 2025-12-21T00:13:14+00:00

the extro

By far. As an extrovert I had no issues growing up. I wasn’t even really socially ‘attuned’ to attracting, or being attractive. I just genuinely liked meeting new people and learning about them, and was jacked. Outside of physique, I found being genuinely curious and unafraid to sate that curiosity was massive.

TheOneWhoThinketh · 2025-12-21T00:51:58+00:00

I'm stumped at how a man can claim to hate music, functions, gatherings, kickbacks, beer, wine, cocktails, people in general, and kinetic energy... and expect to magically be the "hook up" guy. This Red Pill guy's comment posited it too.

FWIW and since I am the guy who commented that, full disclosure: I am an extreme introvert who doesn't drink and I generally hate gatherings with loud music, clubbing, and people in general. I will say that I like music (I play some instruments), just not in clubbing situations or music at house parties so loud that you can't talk. I almost never go out to socialize with people who are not my family (this means gatherings like you described are about once a year).

I am also above average looking, which I say not to brag but because other men say they never get complimented on their looks or have attractive women match with them online, and I regularly get compliments from women who match with me online and match with models (not scammers) every once in a blue moon. I also am very atypical in many ways from the average man in that I am not as selective about looks but very socially conservative and far more selective in other ways.

This all being said, I absolutely could hook up with a new woman about every week (that was sufficiently attractive for a hookup). I don't do so for various reasons, but my point is that dating apps easily provide access to plenty of women even for an introvert.

IMO, the man's looks significantly affect the strategy to pursue this. Were I not above average in looks, it would be virtually impossible to hook up with women unless I was extremely extroverted, or essentially displayed high status through social media or my job title and was able to get attention from women without pursuing them.

I'll also say that being introverted doesn't mean you have no social skills or are shy. I used to do speech programs in high school and did some stand up comedy when I was younger. If you struggle to talk to women, you will absolutely not be able to regularly hook up with them.

Extroverts are more successful in hooking up with women because of the access they have to conversation with them. If you are able to be in situations where you don't have to chase the woman to talk to her (dating apps or having high status, either through online presence or your job title), then personality largely becomes more important. In that scenario, the type of women you are targeting becomes far more important than being extroverted or introverted.

MysterySolverDog · 2025-12-21T02:30:47+00:00

At a certain point you have to admit some guys aren't going to be the "hook up guy" in any case though, extrovert or introvert.

It's true that personality impacts outcomes, but experiences shape personality. Somebody who gets invited places, and has people eager to make connections with them is obviously going to find socializing more rewarding than somebody who has the opposite experience.

If you set up an experiment where Group A attended a party with women who were receptive to their advances and flirted with them, and Group B attended a party where they received straight rejections and ended up just quietly sipping their drinks, it's obvious which group is going to want to attend more parties.

Now this isn't to say that things are completely out of your hands, but being introverted or extroverted doesn't happen in a vacuum, there's experiences which shape that.

Hi-Road · 2025-12-21T00:14:37+00:00

It just depends on who the partner prefers.

"Casual sex has always been the theatre of the party goers and fun havers. It was always for the vibey people who created serendipity for themselves by the nature of their prosocial buzzy lifestyle and interests.

I’m stumped at how a man can claim to hate music, functions, gatherings, kickbacks, beer, wine, cocktails, people in general, and kinetic energy… and expect to magically be the “hook up” guy"

Not to sound rude or anything, but there are plenty of introverts who do a whole lot of nothing and participate in casual sex. Men and women. I personally don't think it's the magical wonderful occurrence you're painting it out to be.

Most people would probably agree that, other than physical attraction, it really seems to be vicinity and lack of inhibition. Yes parties are a prime place where these two mix but you don't NEED any of that stuff you listed to have casual sex. It really shouldn't be placed on a pedestal, and neither should the people that do it. It's nothing special - and that's something a lot of people here would benefit from understanding

Jetpine9 · 2025-12-21T00:31:37+00:00

Is there anything more annoying than extroverts? But we get it, introverts BAD!! Extroverts, YAY FuN!!! The hypocrazy part might be that only male introverts are defective social pariahs, but female introverts are fine.

Illustrious_Wish_383 · 2025-12-21T01:23:35+00:00

There are so many negative introvert stereotypes it poisons the discussion. The West and especially the USA is extremely biased towards extros, but that's not true of all cultures.

EugeneCezanne · 2025-12-21T03:31:54+00:00

The extrovert. It's obvious.

Half of casual sex is really just being the best option in the right place at the right time. If you aren't there, or act like you dont belong there, you might as well be playing the lottery.

The rest is athe usual combination of being at least presentable, fun to be around, and not fucking up the vibe.

Logos1789 · 2025-12-21T01:14:26+00:00

Dating apps and c-fishing with confirmation of arrival at meet ups have shown that men just need to be desirable to have casual now. I would explain more, but that’s for every other week in a certain thread.

wtknight · 2025-12-21T01:34:48+00:00

The extrovert, most likely. Some good looking introvert might do well with a dating app, but I would just think that the extrovert is likely to be in contact with more women plus be more likely to enjoy conversing with them. An introvert can make good conversation when he wants to, but the fact that being outgoing is by definition "draining" to them will likely hinder them somewhat.

EugeneCezanne · 2025-12-21T03:44:37+00:00

On a personal note, this question helped me realize something.

When I was a teenager, I was not getting laid. The way I usually describe it is that I didn't start getting good (sorry, gamer here) until I was in my mid 20s and didnt get really good until I was around 30. My looks didnt change much, except for showing more age (mercifully, very slowly) and actually losing muscle—young men couldn't talk to girls, but damn could he stick to a diet and gym routine.

I usually think the biggest difference in my personality came from making close friendships with women. Now I think it's maybe 50%. Perhaps just as significant is that I went from an introvert to a person everyone else describes as an extrovert. That is, with minimal changes to my neural wiring, my desire to meet women kept me going out over the years, slowly but surely improving my ability to socialize with friends, strangers and potential hookups in loud, chaotic group settings.

Which means, there's hope! I mean, maybe im still and introvert and just learned to mask really well. Or maybe im actually more of an extrovert now, like basically anyone would describe me. Who knows? But if whatever happened to me is possible, introversion doesnt have to be a roadblock for everyone forever.

These-Purpose-7019 · 2025-12-20T23:52:13+00:00

Extrovert if everything is equal. I say this as a friend to a former basement dweller who did nothing but game and watch fresh and fit all day, but still got women cause while he was autistic, he also looked like xxxtentacion so dating apps and social media worked wonders for him.

Ok_Use7 · 2025-12-21T00:23:45+00:00

I think it depends on what the women he's surrounded by likes. I think introverted men can get casual sex rather easily because they appeal to a type of particular women.

But casual sex is never going to be the case for men that fall into this category.

man can claim to hate music, functions, gatherings, kickbacks, beer, wine, cocktails, people in general, and kinetic energy

Introverted men who are in those scenes still excel imo. Like being the quiet guy at the party rather opposed to the quiet guy who doesn't even go to the party because he hates them.

SeemedGood · 2025-12-21T00:28:40+00:00

The deciding factor won’t be intro v. extro. It will be based on who projects power more effectively.

A DT intro will have significantly more success than a nice guy extro.

kongeriket · 2025-12-21T00:30:30+00:00

If you mean behaviorally, it's self evident that more open ("outgoing" if you want) behaviors will bring in more sex as a result of more socialization, more people interacting with, etc. etc.

If you mean as a personality type, I'm less sure the line is so clear-cut.

Technically speaking I qualify as an introvert. The actual definition is a lot more nuanced than the pop-psy definition which is basically "not a social butterfly" lol. Like the Cambridge dictionary defines introvert as a shy shut-in which is simply wrong.

Having an introverted personality doesn't stop one from socializing or from liking people. It certainly didn't stop me, lol. It just means one's focus is more inwards and the limits on socialization are different but not necessarily lower. I tolerate things that I like (festivals, discos, certain type of parties) a lot longer than extroverts (I'm always among the last to leave) while things that I don't particularly like (long boring conversations) I tolerate them less than extroverted people; as in there's no way I'll stay till the end of a boring thing out of politeness.

What affects a lot of unsuccessful guys is their shit-tier locus control and shit-tier upbringing. This whole "i got 'tism" thingy is oftentimes not true and it's just an excuse. There's also the subgroup that has an issue that has never been checked.

Two months ago, finally, the least successful guy in my group (hkv at 29) finally got a girlfriend. Turns out that his underlying issue was a hormonal imbalance that gave him a really shit-tier sex drive. To make things worse, his parents knew about this but never bothered to tell him or to try do something about it (talk about shit-tier upbringing).

A lot of the unsuccessful guys can be turned around but not with blue pill "wisdom" or mainline assumptions of the too-online women (especially the young ones).

Reasonable_Mouse789 · 2025-12-21T02:33:56+00:00

Good looking introverts would do better with online dating than ugly extroverts. The online aspect of it reduces personality requirements related to being outgoing, as long as people actually want to talk to you

WebNew9978 · 2025-12-21T04:44:33+00:00

It would certainly depend on each woman each identical guy sees but I would think the answer would be extro.

I’m stumped at how a man can claim to hate music, functions, gatherings, kickbacks, beer, wine, cocktails, people in general, and kinetic energy… and expect to magically be the “hook up” guy.

I mean there are Reddit spaces in which people post about wanting to have sex and some of them do indeed to meet up to do it.

Putrid-Storage-9827 · 2025-12-21T04:57:05+00:00

I think the boomer party has somewhat been crashed by Tinder and social media.

Being in the room is obviously an advantage, but you're just not going to have the same success as the average "okay" normie who is one of the guys and can crack jokes in 2025 as you would in the 1990s or 1980s just because you were in the right place and the right time.

Being the extroverted cool guy is still an obvious plus, but today the shy handsome guy can get laid any day of the week thanks to Tinder, whereas his personality would have held him back (more) in the old days.

Reasonable_Style8214 · 2025-12-21T10:52:54+00:00

Depends. An introvert with average looks with get less sex than an extrovert with average looks. A good looking guy always has access to an unlimited supply of willing women on dating apps so it doesn't matter.

N_Count_Council · 2025-12-20T23:55:19+00:00

Obviously the extrovert but that's not the issue, you're asking people to massively change their personality. It's just not realistic. Plus the mid guys are GENERALLY doing drugs, and GENERALLY also still fucking at their level (mid women or lower). So it doesn't prove much.

caption291 · 2025-12-21T00:24:54+00:00

Casual sex has always been the theatre of the party goers and fun havers. It was always for the vibey people who created serendipity for themselves by the nature of their prosocial buzzy lifestyle and interests.

Holy, why are you running PR so hard for this? Anyways, the problem you seem to be having is that you don't view women as people. I'm saying that because if you view women as people then you recognize men's complaints as "I think women's expectations are bad and require an unreasonable amount of effort so they should improve as people".

But because you don't quite view women as people you don't register the possibility of women changing so you assume it's just men being unwilling to do what "must" be done.

OffTheRedSand · 2025-12-21T01:38:31+00:00

I’m stumped at how a man can claim to hate music, functions, gatherings, kickbacks, beer, wine, cocktails, people in general, and kinetic energy… and expect to magically be the “hook up” guy.

it's usually younger guys who want it through hook up apps.

they basically want to order a hook up for free on tinder like it's doordash giving them a 95% discount.

they think being good looking would be enough to make a girl come to their house after a few message, if he got the look then he doesn't have to take her out on dates, or invite her to a party, or plan anything really.

she'd just come to his house because he's hot.

of course thats not how it works, even hot people go on dates and go to parties and meet people out and about and don't have sex on first date without going on said date and instantly havig sex.

i mean im sure it happen once in a while for extremely hot men but it;s not sustainable.

EDT: the extro, lol i forgot to answer the title.

gtbreddit1 · 2025-12-21T00:56:07+00:00

If they're both good looking then whichever one uses Tinder will get the most sex.

If they're average looking then whichever monkey dances will get the most sex.

Both will be equally attractive to women but whichever has more exposure to women will have more sex.

gtbreddit1 · 2025-12-21T00:59:28+00:00

and expect to magically be the “hook up” guy.

We don't want to be the "hook up" guy you describe. We want to be the guy who can throw a couple pics up on Tinder and have a tsunami of pussy thrown at him.

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DGenerationMC · 2025-12-20T23:58:18+00:00

Whoever wants it more, I guess, IDK.

Livid-Log7463 · 2025-12-21T08:09:08+00:00

The extrovert, but not simply because of more exposure or shared interests but because between the two it’s the one that is exclusively a desirable to women especially including those who themselves are introverted, and the same is true for relationships.

Cultural-Ad-8486 · 2025-12-21T09:50:45+00:00

Extroversion maybe yes, but being a party goers no

It can be useful to be an extrovert, because you can find your niche and be active in it, and even have success there, whether in finding a LTR, or in FWB or something similar.

Just like you don't have to be a party fan to have casual sex. I've known a lot of guys who aren't into that, but they're fine with woman.

But, you definitely don't need to specifically smoke weed and drink a lot for this (nothing against alcohol, I practice it myself; but it's interesting that you're essentially advising people to take advantage of drunk women here).

And you definitely don't need to deliberately change your personality from an introvert to an extrovert; it's practically impossible and comes with a ton of problems, so it's definitely not a "skills issue," considering that being an introvert is perfectly normal and at least half the population is.

Maffioze · 2025-12-21T09:58:20+00:00

Most casual sex as in just the amount or with how many different people? Because this is a different metric.

Muscletov · 2025-12-21T12:10:51+00:00

Being extroverted and everything that entails is definitely a plus and makes men more attractive, no doubt about it. But the extent to which it can compensate hard looks- or status-related flaws isn't as great as society likes to pretend and, at the end of the day, being extroverted+ strongly correlates with good looks. Plus, there's a genetic component to it as well, making "just become more extroverted bro" one of those "easier said than done" things.

And OP's comment about "mid" looking guys who are fun to be around hooking up easily is to be taken with a grain of salt, because she, as a woman, is virtually bound to underrate the guys' attractiveness and overrate the girls' they hook up with attractiveness.

If you wanna go anecdotal, I knew a guy in school who was an absolute party animal who was known as super funny and cool, but he was short, skinny, facially unattractive and started balding at fucking 16. End of story, he left school a virgin and fell into weed-addiction and depression until his parents put him into rehab and therapy.

Just-Path-5838 · 2025-12-21T17:06:54+00:00

The extro obviously. But, I will say the two things aren't unrelated. More attractive men get more invites to parties and more positive reactions from social interactions and thus are more likely to enjoy those things more.

A man going to a party, just to fight one word responses out of women, isn't likely to like them as much. A less attractive man could still like parties and whatever, but naturally they wouldn't like them as an outlet to get laid, since that's unlikely to happen.

Timosox · 2025-12-21T17:47:37+00:00

I’m stumped at how a man can claim to hate music, functions, gatherings, kickbacks, beer, wine, cocktails, people in general, and kinetic energy… and expect to magically be the “hook up” guy.

I broadly agree. But I know some introverts who do well off the apps because they're hot. And I also have an example of someone who is a party-goer (myself) who has never had casual sex even once.

anewleaf1234 · 2025-12-21T18:27:05+00:00

Depends on the man and the woman.

I know introverts that can still talk to people and have conversations.

They just aren't the life of the party.

Then again I hang out with actors and performers and there are lots of introverts in that category. They do their thing on stage, but are more reserved in real life.

But they can have a conversation, are interesting, and can show a women a good time.

burneraccountguydude · 2025-12-21T19:28:33+00:00

The one asking for it or the one saying at home? Cmon OP

Nihix · 2025-12-22T13:28:41+00:00

All other things equal? The extrovert.

By the way I see people here mistaking introvery with homebody. Being introvert doesn't mean you hate those things. I party more than many people 20 years younger than me, but i'm a big introvert personality wise.

The difference is the extrovert will be more open to approach and initiate in the same places.

VermillionVile · 2025-12-21T00:15:41+00:00

Women control casual sex and women prefer extroverts. Bada bing bada boom.

kvakerok_v2 · 2025-12-21T03:32:21+00:00

Absolutely extrovert. In fact even a less attractive a foot shorter extrovert will get 5x-10x-100x the pussy, assuming he has game that is.

Title	Q4M: Between two identical looking men, who’s going to have the most casual sex: the intro or the extro?
Author	GridReXX
Upvotes	13
Comments	144
Date	December 20, 2025 11:48 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1prs8gd/q4m_between_two_identical_looking_men_whos_going/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4m-between-two-identical-looking-men-whos-going.1569341 https://theredarchive.com/post/1569341

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