Q4Women: How much do you care about a man's sexual history?

mandoa_sky · 2020-01-27T02:26:27+00:00

well the higher the number, the more likely the person can't hold a relationship / is a sex addict / has no impulse control etc.

cohost3 · 2020-01-27T01:53:46+00:00

I never thought I would care about a man’s sexual history, until I found out my boyfriend had sex with my step-cousin. Worst part was that he couldn’t remember her name. Most awkward family dinner party yet.

2020-01-27T02:08:38+00:00

[deleted]

CommanderOfTheDeath · 2020-01-27T02:09:11+00:00

Preferably in line with mine.

I don't want him too inexperienced, but I don't want him to be the sort of person who deliberately racks up notch counts for validation.

If he's paid for sex before then thats a no-no.

Coder-Cat · 2020-01-27T03:12:01+00:00

I care more about how he talks about his history than how much history he has.

If he refers to women he’s had flings with as whores or “slam pigs” or whatever, it’s disgusting.

unicorns- · 2020-01-27T02:50:44+00:00

I wouldn’t date someone who had an incurable STD, that includes things like Herpes and HPV.

I also wouldn’t date someone who has done something disgusting or illegal. Or paid for sex.

41013 · 2020-01-27T03:13:24+00:00

Cheating bad, not cheating good

Also, frequenting low quality/sketchy sex workers who were probably abused

2020-01-27T04:12:07+00:00

I wouldn't date a slutty man, I prefer the selective type.

NarniaFox · 2020-01-27T02:18:34+00:00

Well, my husband and I were both virgins, so we both had an almost clear history.

In general, I'd prefer a partner with a similar sexual history. There isn't too little, but, maybe it would be different if I was a bit older. I think, too much definitely exists, I wouldn't be fond of a womanizer and I wouldn't date someone, who thinks that paying for sex is okay.

2020-01-27T03:05:25+00:00

I can understand, in theory, a woman caring about the sexual history of a man she's dating.

What I cannot understand is anybody caring about the sexual history of someone they've been married to for 20 years, assuming that their spouse has been faithful.

mangolover97 · 2020-01-27T02:11:29+00:00

A lot. He should have some experience but not too much. Virgins are awesome too. Guys that got around are gross to me though. I don’t want used up community dick and all the potential problems that could entail.

LittyKitsune · 2020-01-27T02:23:09+00:00

A lot. I would prefer a virgin like me, but if he has a couple of mistakes in his past I can live with it provided our values align currently.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2020-01-27T01:57:11+00:00

who the fuck cares about a mans sexual history.

lurkingconfused · 2020-01-27T02:44:22+00:00

I wouldn't care about his sexual history UNLESS he was still maintaining contact and/or pining after any of them. Curious, yes, I would ask lots of questions and want all the details, I'm weird like that. Makes me feel like I own that part of him too, even if I wasn't there for it.

pongaminbloom · 2020-01-27T02:49:39+00:00

I don't care about n count. However, if he is hung up on an ex, has a history of cheating, is a player, has an STD, or he has knocked someone up, I won't date him.

PapaPinyun · 2020-01-27T04:45:36+00:00

I just read like 100+ comments and no one is mentioning lying.

Iamthegirliam · 2020-01-27T05:35:29+00:00

I always knew that his number can't be too high. Mostly because of the fact, that he could have urge to cheat after a while.

Now I'm sure about it. Men can develope some weird kinks and habbits during sex, especially if his former partner was into them. So it's better to be with someone who do didn't sleep around.

FreakXAurora · 2020-01-27T13:13:39+00:00

I don’t care as long as he hasn’t raped anyone or doing anything with under 17’s when he was over 18.

pngmafia97 · 2020-01-27T02:28:31+00:00

Curious, very much so. I love hearing crazy stories about group sex, hoes, actual factual hoe services, getting statistical breakdowns of how they categorize women, etc. I am not a jealous person when it comes to sex.

Everyone I've dated has had a very colorful and abundant history but has never had any STIs. That's pretty ideal for me. I don't give a rat's ass about the number itself. Close to mine or much higher all work.

The type of men I attract and find attractive tend to be very high risk taking, adventurous, hedonistic people, so a storied sexual history is kind of a package deal with all the other traits.

NaturalQueer · 2020-01-27T02:27:49+00:00

Nope not really. 1 or a 100 as long as he’s a good guy it doesn’t matter.

PennnyLame · 2020-01-27T02:38:15+00:00

I wanna know but I don’t really care? I did care a lot about him not being an asshole to girls he’d dated or slept with before.

Tickle_Basher · 2020-01-27T01:52:54+00:00

I don't care. I wouldn't want to be judged by my sexual history and I don't think it's fair to judge someone else.

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goatismycopilot · 2020-01-27T02:51:05+00:00

I care about knowing if a man cheated or was into weird shit I don't want to do.

Orange_Paisley · 2020-01-27T03:11:36+00:00

Not very much as long as he is not a pedo, a rapist, or have some creepy ass kinks like a diaper fetish or something.

Barneysparky · 2020-01-27T03:44:07+00:00

I've never seriously dated anyone who has worked towards or had one night stands. The guys I have dated have all had relationships before, and maybe a couple of one off flings.

Attractive men are men with a good social group and strong family.

nosynobody · 2020-01-27T04:16:52+00:00

I definitely care and it. I would have always preferred someone with the same experiences as me but that's not always possible. At the moment i would prefer someone with the body count of less than 5

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2020-01-27T04:49:54+00:00

To the extent I plan on sleeping with him, repeatedly, in the future.. or at all. I don't need approximations, accuracy or details. Only rough estimates and integrity. It's that simple. "Uhh, maybe 90? 93?" Is all I need to make a decision.

LotBuilder · 2020-01-27T05:15:46+00:00

Girls want a man that is highly attractive but with a low body count? That’s a rare combo. Lying is your best bet. The magic number is 7. Experience but not too much experience.

Female_urinary_maze · 2020-01-27T07:22:50+00:00

Generally no, I don't care. Although an exception would be if he's had so many casual and/or unprotected encounters that it's indicative of risk-seeking behavior. In that case I would need to find out weather he's been off of that bullshit for a sufficiently long period of time.

I'm a risk averse person and recklessness is a dealbreaker for me.

grand_tiremaster · 2020-01-27T09:10:55+00:00

I prefer a man that wasn’t a huge ho before he met me.

emerald_priestess · 2020-01-27T10:30:30+00:00

a lot. i dont want a townbike, he wont be able to pair bond with me and hell compare me to all the females he had slept with. hell no. only a virgin for me.

Reisiluu · 2020-01-27T10:53:15+00:00

[deleted]

perhapsbutnottoday · 2020-01-27T10:59:18+00:00

He should not expect me to be on the pill or something and try to have unprotected sex with me. That just means he’s dangerous, cavalier and entitled. He should carry condoms at all times and have them at home. I will do the same.

I’m not interested in his n count and I’m not going to ask. I do expect to orgasm.

At the same time, what worked with the others was for them. He needs to learn what I like. If he had sex on a trapeze or some woman somersaulted onto his dick, good. Doesn’t mean he should expect that from me or he will get it either.

Negotiation and enthusiastic consent should be something he knows about, does and doesn’t bitch about.

RF111164 · 2020-01-27T17:25:50+00:00

one or less lol. Even one would have me wondering "why isn't he with her now?" "why did they break up?" etc

LifterofThings · 2020-01-27T18:06:02+00:00

Not at all, assuming he doesn't have anything incurable or any kids.

Sophiatab · 2020-01-27T19:19:33+00:00

I care a lot and for me there is no such things as too little, but there are very few virgin guys out there. I high n count means one thing to me: this guy is not too choosy about who he has sex with and therefore is a high potential for infidelity.

atlantisasalover · 2020-01-27T22:41:11+00:00

I'd just prefer not to know. There's no reason for me to even think about that.

wigglyshark · 2020-01-28T18:58:23+00:00

History of casual sex, having FWBs, etc. was a hard no for me. I’ve been with the same guy since high school, though, and we were both virgins. If anything were to happen to him and if I were able to get over it and start dating again, I know that this would pose huge issues for me. I’ve never done the casual thing and really would prefer to be with a man that hasn’t done it, either, but I also don’t want to be with a sex-negative guy because I have a high libido. The current dating world freaks me out and I’d probably struggle a lot if I wasn’t married.

learn2earn89 · 2020-01-29T05:08:18+00:00

Well I’m a virgin so I wouldn’t mind if he was a virgin. Anything more than 10 would be a red flag to me. Anything over 5 would be kind of a yellow flag.

slavicgypsygirl · 2020-02-02T19:36:13+00:00

Men I date often have a public sexual history which never matters to me

throwitawaypleasse · 2020-02-11T19:22:04+00:00

I’m a virgin. I will only take a virgin male seriously.

sublimemongrel · 2020-01-27T02:38:29+00:00

Really could not care barring something extreme

SqueaksScreech · 2020-01-27T02:52:43+00:00

After seeing someone's comment as long as they didn't fuck their family or any of my friends and family we good.

Reisiluu · 2020-01-27T12:09:33+00:00

Above 10 is suspicious, above 15 means our values don't align. Virginity is fine for teenagers and men in their early 20s, but it would raise questions now.

intersIn · 2020-01-27T02:55:05+00:00

I would want to know if he was a virgin. I wouldn't want to set my expectations too high if he has never had sex before. Other than that I wouldn't care how many partners he had.

QueenCousland86 · 2020-01-27T03:05:11+00:00

Assuming it's not like 70+ I don't care in the slightest. I am good friends with at least three of the girls my boyfriend has slept with.

lilacluna548 · 2020-01-27T09:15:23+00:00

There is such a thing as too much but I don't know where I would draw the line. Just don't want someone who's slept around a ton. I do prefer someone with some experience but I'd be fine with a virgin.

lycheenme · 2020-01-27T10:15:53+00:00

generally there's no 'too little,' i would date a virgin, but i'm pretty young so it wouldn't be abnormal for dudes in my age range to still be virgins. however, it's not the virgin part that gets me, it's that if he's a virgin and he hasn't been in a long term relationship, then i would be wary of his behaviour and his expectations about my behaviour, that kind of thing.

and a dude with an n count above 10 makes me wary as well, unless he's had significant experience with ltrs and i can tell whether or not he's truly committed to a relationship. however, usually i don't really ask about specific n counts bc honestly they just don't matter very much to me and they don't come up often.

Title	Q4Women: How much do you care about a man's sexual history?
Author	WGttDS
Upvotes	11
Comments	293
Date	January 27, 2020 1:49 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/eugv6u/q4women_how_much_do_you_care_about_a_mans_sexual/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4women-how-much-do-you-care-about-a-mans-sexual.315764 https://theredarchive.com/post/315764

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