"Who Hurt You?"

goneaway2thewind · 2021-10-14T17:21:08+00:00

Men typically operate on a Women are Wonderful bias that is established early on. Something has to disturb that process where they fail to value women’s validation.

Stunning-Spirit5275 · 2021-10-15T00:19:39+00:00

Who hurt you, small dick, incel etc are used as an ad hominem attack anytime feminist are challenged with a factual argument. They have been indoctrinated to the point that they can no longer process rationalism

sootlord · 2021-10-14T15:16:50+00:00

"who hurt you" "incel" "virgin" its just shaming language for Men to shutup and obey

badsign12 · 2021-10-14T16:58:20+00:00

There's some merit to the distinction the OP makes. The assumption that women's pain is real and worth exploring, and men's is theirs to deal with. I think it leans that way anyway.

It's like when someone has several bad dating experiences and they lament the flaws of the gender they date. Men dating women are often told to date a better class of women, the fault being his and based on his choices. Women dating men are much more likely to have their lament about men supported as the source of their difficulty.

Hoopy223 · 2021-10-14T15:14:28+00:00

Because Society thinks that Men aren’t supposed to get hurt, angry, frustrated etc. You are supposed to just shut up and take it no matter how shitty the situation is. Doesn’t matter if its work, finance, school, everything. Just take it like a Man lol.

TotalTravesty · 2021-10-14T15:10:36+00:00

I’ve seen it used for everybody. It’s a pretty universally overused cliche.

Are you sure you’re not just using a bit of the ol’ selective reading and/or over-exaggerating all the times someone said it to you?

JoeRMD77 · 2021-10-16T02:28:34+00:00

PPD hurt me.

BasicallyYogurt · 2021-10-14T18:37:54+00:00

It's pretty much ad hominem to avoid having a real discussion. It's used by many of the PPD regulars, especially when suggesting women these days aren't perfect in every way.

xQueen-Bx · 2021-10-14T15:38:04+00:00

its just dumb holes shaming language, why even pay attention to it

SaBahRub · 2021-10-14T15:16:59+00:00

This phrase just acknowledges the simple truth that lots of people don’t give a shit or form opinions unless it affects them personally

Slipthe · 2021-10-14T15:14:58+00:00

It's no surprise when it comes up when discussing the red pill. Because you don't get to that level without getting fucked over by someone.

xFallacyx69 · 2021-10-14T15:23:08+00:00

It’s a dumb phrase used by dumb people who want to pretend they’ve never been hurt romantically.

I use it ironically to break the tension if someone is sarcastically complaining about how hard their life is.

NotGoingoutofMW · 2021-10-14T19:03:15+00:00

I don't know which gender recieves this more often but many women use this as a shaming reflex. Because society usually silences everything negative towards women in every mainstream media and when most women stumble upon TRP where for the first time in their lives people are giving women the same treatment as society gives it to men (although with a much harsher tone) then they are shocked and resorting into this reflex.

NoMarriageNoKids · 2021-10-15T04:24:34+00:00

The standard answer is "how much time do you have?"

2021-10-15T11:12:07+00:00

Well, when used against men it typically refers to such things as cheating, break ups, rejections, etc. If used against women it could also mean far more serious stuff like rape, sexual assault, domestic violence, etc.

Insidious-Sid · 2021-10-14T15:49:07+00:00

It comes from a long list of shaming language for men.

"Who hurt you." is Blue Pill speak for:

"How dare you protest that women can be absolutely vicious cunts. Now get out there and be desirable so we can pick you apart and reject you."

I really just need a t-shirt that says "Fuck You" on the front.

SonicBackScratcher · 2021-10-14T15:25:24+00:00

Context.

"Women are just hypergamous bitches who would toss you aside for the next chad without even considering your feelings"

Here "Who hurt you" is both a condescension point, but also valid.

AnnoKano · 2021-10-14T16:52:08+00:00

Anyone else find it interesting that this phrase is universally used in complete derision towards men on the internet everywhere, BUT if spoken towards a woman it would be most likely a genuine question. And if it wasn't, it would reflect badly on the speaker in polite company?

This phrase is generally used when they believe there is some underlying problem which has been left unsaid. Whether it is meant sarcastically or not depends on what was said before.

On this subreddit you are right that men are mainly on the recieving end; usually when they post some long winded misogynistic post or bizarre theories about women.

Throwaway18077 · 2021-10-14T16:51:56+00:00

No, I’m a woman, I am asked this 10x a day because I engage in internet fighting as a sad hobby. I’m asked this never as a genuine question and always as an implication that I am taking things too personally.

King8Kaista · 2021-10-14T16:38:56+00:00

you can say it to women with provocative intent all you want it's not as impactful as if said towards a man because it attacks the mans masculinity. A man who is hurt is perceived as weak and women are very aware of this, so they exploit it and use it as a way to "win the argument" or shame the man.

ahandtoyourdarknessx · 2021-10-14T18:03:50+00:00

I think in this case it’s mostly said towards men because they are often voicing seemingly ignorant opinions about women online.

I think there are ways these things can be discussed but the problem is few men do it tactfully.

For example some of the subreddits pertaining to incel culture will share screenshots of angry men saying awful things, but you very rarely see women sending angry unsolicited messages to the red pill community.

The underlying theme is that it’s suggesting something has gone wrong in the persons life that has led them to having an angry spirited opinion.

I don’t think the person saying it is volunteering to be a therapist but the implication is that you should analyze your own beliefs and why you feel that way.

It’s like the AWALT thing, if you truly believe that without argument then yeah, you’ve got some delusional beliefs mostly from being disgruntled for one reason or another

i_wind · 2021-10-14T15:05:51+00:00

Yup. Double Standards Don’t Apply To Women.

Mimoxs · 2021-10-14T17:30:03+00:00

What alternate universe do you exist in where this is not frequently said towards women and how do I get there?

PronKing10 · 2021-10-14T17:58:47+00:00

We aren't born hating groups of people. But when there's dozens of men constantly calling women sluts and whores and the wild anger against them, obscene generalizations, that has to stem from somewhere, which leads to the question, who hurt them to make them think like that?

There just aren't as many "man bashing" posts on here from women. Generalizing "all men"

Orange_Paisley · 2021-10-14T15:07:42+00:00

Maybe it is being used genuinely toward the men too and you are too quick to take it the wrong way. It’s clear a lot of people of either gender have had some poor dating experiences, if any at all.

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-10-14T16:44:20+00:00

What are you talking about? I've had guys here ask me a variation of that question.

Who hurt you? lol

Ohyarlysmiles · 2021-10-14T18:02:51+00:00

This phrase and many others like it follow the same script

Status Quo = X

Unjust/unfair treatment = Y

Person A: X has Y

Person B: 'who hurt you!' 'you're just mad' 'you're bitter' 'chip on your shoulder' etc. etc. etc.

What Person B fails to understand is that in repeating these phrases, they are essentially acting akin to an Agent in the Matrix --- enforcing the system. "The Status Quo is correct and just. You are defective."

upalse · 2021-10-14T18:02:47+00:00

Women ask because they're more empathetic :)

OwnerAndMaster · 2021-10-14T22:58:26+00:00

I've used it derisively against femcels before. It's usually used against men but it's very applicable to modern women, especially the FDS variety. Sure there's a million double standards but "Who Hurt You" ain't the hill I'm willing to die on

superlurkage · 2021-10-14T16:47:06+00:00

Well, it’s better than being called “triggered” (dismissal), “snowflake” (minimizing) or a liar (denial)

People believe and take men seriously, while women’s anger/annoyance is downplayed, denigrated or dismissed

GodFromMachine · 2021-10-14T15:52:05+00:00

It's a cringe soundbyte, akin to "oof", "yikes", and ironically enough, "cringe", used by people who have no actual comebacks. It's a pretty clear sign that whoever uses it, has lost the argument, and should be looked upon with pitty.

Aran82 · 2021-10-14T17:34:07+00:00

Inter sexual dynamics is a one way conversation- women are allowed to have standards men who assert theirs are misogynists. The “who hurt you” is another way to undermine - I mean most men are rejected a lot more and in much more overt ways than women and most relationship breakdowns are initiated by women and women move on quicker - of course men are hurt but having learned female nature and these dynamics they try to shame men who act accordingly.

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2021-10-14T15:17:33+00:00

Idk my dude, the only times I've used it is to honestly ask how someone has been hurt in the past. This is usually the best way to understand why they act as they do, for men and women alike.

123me_anon · 2021-10-14T16:48:03+00:00

I’ve seen it said to both men and women, although probably more to men.

nemma88 · 2021-10-14T22:16:21+00:00

I usually see it in normie subs towards someone whoes ranting to themselves about something twice removed from the subject matter, or is steering the conversation towards themselves.

Mission-Assistance73 · 2021-10-15T04:13:27+00:00

Female here. No one has ever asked me who hurt you with a straight face online. You're making up stuff to be mad at

Transmigratory · 2021-10-15T14:34:45+00:00

I've seen it used when women can't handle feedback or a factual arguments. I used to try to say "it depends". But, if you compare the reception guys like Kevin Samuels and Jordan Peterson get when they talk about men and when they talk about women and the comments that get thrown their way when they address either sex. You'll automatically see which sex is better at accepting feedback. Ergo, which one's words have more stock.

feelingskank · 2021-10-15T15:53:42+00:00

Napoleon complex, small dick energy, manlet, goblin, virgin, etc

Stevefr0mYellowstone · 2021-10-15T22:11:18+00:00

If you hear "who hurt you" you instantly know you have won the argument and she's got no defense for her position.

f1vepointoh · 2021-10-16T00:38:46+00:00

notices negative female patterns

Women: YOU OBVIOUSLY HATE ALL WOMEN.

strawman83 · 2021-10-16T17:34:02+00:00

It's better to use "Sorry he doesn't love you back" for a woman

eyelinerqueen83 · 2021-10-17T21:31:53+00:00

This has been lobbed at me as a derision when I have been critical of a man’s trash behavior. So I’m not sure where you get the idea that it’s only used to deride men.

KinnyMeister · 2021-10-19T18:20:00+00:00

ummm sweaty those are words

Da_Famous_Anus · 2021-10-23T03:27:42+00:00

I had this said to my face in person by a woman I went on a first date with. To be exact, it was 'who hurt you?' followed by 'who has beaten you down?' and then later followed by 'are you gay?'

Super-Peoplez-S0Lt · 2021-10-24T23:55:16+00:00

This kind of reminds me of the stupid stereotype of homophobes being deep in the closet. Likewise, a lot of people assume that many sexists (both men and women) are like that solely because they had negative experience with some rando of the opposite sex.

However what people fail to realize is that people (even under the clear and positive influences) are just bigoted and hateful simple as that.

modidlee · 2021-10-15T09:17:08+00:00

Shaming phrases like “who hurt you” or calling guys incels or saying that they have “little dick energy” is really another way women get men to go against each other and their own best interests. Because no guy wants to be the guy women say is an incel or has “little dick energy.” When women use these terms it’s saying the person they’re talking about isn’t the type of guy they like, so if you want to be a guy women like you won’t say things that make them say you have “little dick energy.” It rewards men for not holding women accountable. So other guys see this and because they don’t want to be seen as the incel they join in with the women in making fun of the incel. But the truth is the guy who they’re calling an incel simply because he disagrees with what he sees modern women do may be married, in a relationship, or even a womanizing “Chad.” But women have this belief that men that are sexually attractive and successful with women don’t have issues with womens behavior. That’s just not true.

Megabyte7637 · 2021-10-14T17:48:29+00:00

Title	"Who Hurt You?"
Author	StarchRunner
Upvotes	131
Comments	132
Date	October 14, 2021 3:02 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/q81iwy/who_hurt_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/who-hurt-you.1079550 https://theredarchive.com/post/1079550

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