Why did your previous relationships end?

RocinanteCoffee · 2023-05-06T03:47:45+00:00

He fell in with a new agey/religious MLM (think cryptoscam but with spiritual overtones).

YaKnowEstacado · 2023-05-06T04:36:41+00:00

First guy's mental health deteriorated throughout the relationship and so did his treatment of me. He did and said a lot of fucked up shit I don't want to get into but long story short picturing a future with him filled me with blood curdling terror. So I broke up with him.

Second guy, we weren't on the same page about the future, what we wanted and when we wanted it. He broke up with me. Amicable breakup, no hard feelings, just didn't work out.

Those were my only two relationships before my husband.

Comfortable-Dare-307 · 2023-05-06T17:04:42+00:00

My ex-wife was sexually manipulative. She was/is a sex addict. She always wanted to have sex, and I didn't. She complained all the time we weren't doing it enough (every day). Eventually I said no to sex and she cheated on me.

AceArguments · 2023-05-06T03:19:54+00:00

Inability to communicate due to cultural differences. I had not realized how staggering the differences between cultures were until I dated outside of my own. Other people's concepts of things were completely different! Not even close! Even the concept of love is entirely different. I guess it only works out if the cultures are very similar to each other.

Forsaken_Berry_75 · 2023-05-06T04:32:17+00:00

He wanted to be taken care of financially, and not have to provide much for a woman on his part.

The man I was with wanted a woman who could instead provide a certain level of lifestyle and financial security for him, where apparently I wasn’t cutting it in that department and my earning trajectory for him, at my then age of 37. This was when he was 41 (4 years older than me, and after 5 wonderful years of dating. It was a complete shock to find this out.

He told a stranger afterwards that he “just broke the heart of the most wonderful woman (me) when everything was perfect. She must be so confused right now, and feel like dirt on the side of the road.”

I wasn’t taught at a young age as a girl that in order to keep a man, I needed to be earning a lot of money and be able to provide a level of lavish lifestyle for him. I wish I had been.

This is in the U.S., btw.

2023-05-06T10:31:37+00:00

First had anger issues and I was miserable. The second couldn't self regulate and was too hedonistic.

Mama_Bear-Love · 2023-05-06T02:23:26+00:00

My first relationship "ended" when my husband passed. Other relationships simply never got past the casual faze. My most recent ended relationship was due to my ex being rude to my daughter.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2023-05-06T03:54:48+00:00

We weren't compatible. We had started a FWB thing and we tried dating, but we were just very different people. Him not taking his lithium and being incredibly self-centered didn't help things. Not that I was perfect either, it was just a relationship with the wrong person at the wrong time for both of us.

downward_spiral9494 · 2023-05-06T04:05:39+00:00

She was having sex with her ex and she broke up with me because she couldnt get over him and wanted to be alone. Then she became fwb with him

GlamSunCrybabyMoon · 2023-05-06T05:19:10+00:00

I was 22/23. It was a relationship but we never defined it as such, I guess we were FWB but I genuinely thought we were friends. We had previously dated when we were teenagers.

He came over and made dinner for me, he helped me move some stuff to my house, he met my kid, I watched his kid once for a few hours. I was just going with the flow trying to move on from a past relationship, he seems to always be in this kind of situation. We saw each other for about a year and a half but we didn’t sleep with each other for the first 3 months or so.

One day he calls me crying hysterical because he go into a argument with his baby moms mother and was afraid that he wouldn’t see his child again because of it. He said he felt suicidal. I told him come over and we’ll figure it out and I’ll make him something to eat. Then he didn’t answer me for 2 months. I called him and texted him, I just wanted to know he was okay. He finally answered me when I asked him what I did wrong, he said nothing. Then he tried to come back like he didn’t just disappear leaving me worried sick and I eventually had to block him. Kinda sad about it still but I learned from it.

Updawg145 · 2023-05-06T05:29:01+00:00

It turned out she was actually ten years older than me (I know, it sounds dumb, but she honestly looked young even for the age she pretended to be, lol). She was past the point of my personal tolerance for safely having children, which is something I'd like to do one day, else I still might have considered staying.

King-SAMO · 2023-05-06T13:10:44+00:00

Because it was never that serious, and she met someone who took her seriously; I liked her, he loves her.

Before that; she was really kind person with a guilt conscience pity dating me until she could move on.

Before that; it wasn’t very serious and then my family got sick.

Before that; slow fade, no discussion.

and for everyone before that just assume it was the consequences of some combination of liquor, drugs, and other women, even if that probably isn’t universally true.

megapuffz · 2023-05-06T13:22:50+00:00

He was distant and not showing up in our relationship.

LeaveNCountAlone · 2023-05-06T04:27:03+00:00

We never got past that “dating” phase regardless of living together for years. It felt like I had a roommate with benefits and not a real partner. He also was needy and leaned on me constantly for support daily. It was to the point that I was reassuring and mothering him for hours everyday with little to no time for myself. I was so busy with his problems I didn’t realize that my needs were never met and pushed aside. He never even asked me how my day was because the second I got home it was time to fix one of his crisis. It wasn’t until I went through some heavy shit myself that I realized how bad it was. I was at a point where I wanted to end my life but was being told that issues weren’t important compared to his. Thankfully I got out.

BoopEverySnoot · 2023-05-06T06:14:31+00:00

He put me through a closed door and the force took it off its frame, and then when he (a cop) pulled his Glock on me for the second time, I was done.

begayallday · 2023-05-06T09:05:48+00:00

Dated a guy in high school for about a year and a half. He was 19 (I was 16) and had already graduated. I didn’t really even like him but none of the guys I had liked ever liked me back and I figured this was the only chance I would ever have to date. Over time he did his best to control me and isolate me from my friends. He was insanely jealous, and scary. After a while I had had enough of it, and I broke up with him. He quit his job in order to stalk me. When I walked to school in the morning, he was waiting in his car and would follow me. When school got out he was waiting by my locker. I took him back just to get it to stop. But I still hated him. I realized I had to make him think it was his idea. So I just started being combative, noncompliant, and unpleasant. After about a month he broke up with me and it was finally over.

The next relationship I had was with my first husband. It was, again, a situation of him choosing me. I had dated a bunch of guys who just didn’t stick around. The nice guys I wanted all liked my prettier and smarter best friend more. Story of my life. This guy stuck around and seemed to really want me. And he was nice. He also wasn’t politically conservative like my high school boyfriend. When I got pregnant accidentally, he was excited to be a dad and he stuck around. But things started going downhill while I was pregnant. He couldn’t keep a job and it was everyone’s fault but his. I worked two jobs while vomiting all day long from the pregnancy to pay rent and buy us food. His style of manipulation was so subtle that I missed it for a long time. Weaponized incompetence to an extreme degree. While I worked, he played video games, did the bare minimum to take care of the baby, and I came home to a hungry kid who needed a new diaper, a messy dirty house, and a sink full of dirty dishes. We fought constantly. He cheated on me. When he did help with chores he did it so badly that it was easier for me to do it myself. After five years of his bullshit, we got into an argument while on vacation and he physically assaulted me. As soon as we got back I packed up my things and my child and I left. I found out over the years that him cheating on me was actually him sexually assaulting my friends and then guilting them into not telling me. He is in prison now for abusing our child after the divorce.

The next relationship started about a year after my first husband and I split up. He wasn’t abusive. He was a nice, fun guy, and still is. But I grew up and he didn’t. Two and a half years in he quit his job and sold his condo and moved out of state. I went with him. His plan was to get an apartment, get a job, and save the money. He spent all the money from his condo sale within six months, smoking ounces upon ounces of weed, and getting takeout. He didn’t get a job. Not even after the money ran out. He got his mom to pay his half of the rent. He stopped having sex with me completely and slept on the futon in the living room where he smoked weed and played video games constantly. He started going to community college, at the age of 30, to be a marine biologist. Because he wanted to live on a sailboat. After one semester he started failing his classes. I bailed. He dated a string of other women after me and now lives in his 70 year old van that barely runs.

Met my second husband about a year after that. He was nice, had a job, and cared about maintaining stable employment. He liked my kid. Also not abusive. But the dead bedroom started almost immediately after I moved in with him. And it never got any better. We paid thousands for a sex therapist. We also argued all the time about him not doing any of the housework even though I worked a very physically demanding job and he had an office job. He was sick, and told me that was why. I gave him a kidney. He had tons of energy after, ran 10ks and lifted weights. But still no sex, and still no help with chores. We opened up the relationship as a last ditch effort to save things, and he was happy but I wasn’t. I wanted to have a partner who wanted me. Not a roommate who didn’t want me or contribute to the housework, plus a string of meaningless sexual relationships. I moved out of state and told him I didn’t want him to come with me.

No-Chance-8405 · 2023-05-06T11:01:26+00:00

He turned out to be a toxic narcissist.

AstronautLoveShack · 2023-05-06T13:59:27+00:00

There were some STRs and situationships, but I’ll just hit the major relationships here.

High school - a decent relationship, but I left for college.

College - a relationship fraught with drama, so I left for the West Coast.

Marriage - he had a severe bipolar episode and started using illegal drugs. We had a toddler and I could not take care of both of them.

Post marriage relationship: he found his high school sweetheart on MySpace.

Current marriage is ongoing.

SteveSan82 · 2023-05-07T04:24:08+00:00

Before the Red Pill: she branch swung to an older man.

After the Red Pill: I wouldn’t commit

JNRoberts42 · 2023-05-06T03:07:25+00:00

He turned into a needy, dependent couch potato who texted, called, and messaged all day, everyday and expected me to sit on the couch beside him from the end of the workday until bedtime.

Anxious when I traveled with business and showed up whenever I was too busy to respond to his twenty+ messages per day.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2023-05-06T04:50:07+00:00

He was abusive

Lyvicious · 2023-05-06T07:10:10+00:00

1) I wasn't in love and broke up with him

2) I wasn't in love and he sensed it and broke up with me

3) Following a rather traumatic event and suicide threats from her ex, she broke up with me

4) We were in love but severely incompatible. It was the first multi-year relationship for both of us and we had a lot of growing to do and just couldn't do it together, I think. Couldn't agree on plans for the future and had a big dramatic ugly breakup.

eefr · 2023-05-06T02:50:32+00:00

A bunch of reasons? Including, I guess:

Moving cities / long distance
Differences in values
Relationship was unhealthy
Just fizzled (mainly for very brief relationships)

DiamondLilyD · 2023-05-06T11:02:26+00:00

I broke up with him because he wasn't a virgin.

ashleyrose56 · 2023-05-06T11:31:17+00:00

I just didn't like him. I kept postponing meeting him with excuses. I kept flaking him hoping he would break up with me first. I saw no future with him but he was an entertaining chatbot. I'm so glad I let him go, after him I met an amazing man which is my dream person and current partner 😍

Treacle-Flimsy · 2023-05-06T12:29:04+00:00

My relationship with her was batshit crazy from the start till finish. I stayed mostly because I was afraid I won't have sex if I leave, the sex part of the relationship was probably the best of it. She was a major control freak and I abided by her wishes, stupidly enough. Think shit like me bringing all the checks with me to her place and showing her my bank account so that she could count if I'm not lying. In the end, she cheated on me and I was happy beyond belief to end this. Whoever wishes to marry that bitch: Godbless his soul, he really needs a lot of mental strength and patience

Safinated · 2023-05-06T14:52:08+00:00

In chronological order, cheating/incompatibility, moving, cheating/selfishness, and selfishness

AngeCruelle · 2023-05-06T02:50:36+00:00

Would've had to commit to settling down in a state roughly 2000 miles from my family

Traditional-Bad-4055 · 2023-05-06T03:23:11+00:00

Graduated college and moved cities. We did long distance for a bit but it was too hard

One broke up with me because I wasn’t serious enough and she was probably right

And another ended things because basically I wasn’t able or willing to be a good bf

UpstairsValue6799 · 2023-05-06T12:34:01+00:00

She fucked my friend and rubbed it in my face, because I wasn't ready to have sex

jrjr_analyst · 2023-05-06T19:11:41+00:00

The last two proto-relationships I was in ended after they (het women dating me, a het man) realized that I was somewhat apprehensive about being seen in public with them, and was only grudgingly completing boyfriend-adjacent activities in exchange for consistent and enthusiastic sex.

I both instances, I was the wealthier, taller, and [much] leaner body-comp'ed one.

y2kjanelle · 2023-05-08T08:08:04+00:00

I liked him because he was kind and chivalrous and I was naive with no dating experience. He was mean and emotionally immature several times and I ended it.

saraimarsena · 2023-05-06T03:56:57+00:00

my ex boyfriend was an abusive dickhead and i caught feelings for someone else.

TheRedPillRipper · 2023-05-06T02:26:30+00:00

a relationship that did not work out.

Got drunk. Allegedly was violent. Got locked up. Went to court. Managed to get it thrown out. Ended in divorce. Not condoning my actions. It was an extremely difficult experience to work through. Owning those actions was hard, but necessary.

I’m though a much better person because of it. Rarely drink. Much more engaged. Have a beautiful wife now, whom I think the world of, and adore. So there were a lot of positives, to come out of it too.

Godspeed and good luck!

just_a_place · 2023-05-06T05:56:03+00:00

Every relationship I have ever been in has always ended because we drift apart. Interests and priorities change.

TurtleDickSlap · 2023-05-06T03:03:43+00:00

I was in a dead bedroom and, as the red pill teaches, it was my fault for not doing the things I needed to do.

My ex and I have a great relationship now that I'm having regular sex. You have no idea how much a lack of sex can poison a man's heart in a monogamous relationship.

Ladies: Have sex with your husband. So what if you're "not in the mood" or whatever. If you deny him sex, you are denying him. Most men can tolerate whatever bullshit you toss at them so long as they're fucking regularly. Deny him and he will either cheat or become a creature so toxic that you won't want to be with him.

Men: Get your shit together. As cruel as it is, no woman will tolerate a man they see as weak or needing support. You have to be at the top of your fucking game at all times. If you aren't, you will lose her respect and the second that's gone, she's gone.

Ok_Tomorrow_3963 · 2023-05-06T02:26:26+00:00

pussy too loose, big vagina from having sex with too many previous men

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lacuti3 · 2023-05-06T03:51:08+00:00

I’m female. One of our mutual friends broke us up because he was jealous.

SecondEldenLord · 2023-05-06T09:24:59+00:00

Never had one. I am 32 year old man who is also 5'3. My height is what pulled me down of ever getting a gf. I also never had sex without having to pay for an escort so if I wouldn't have paid for sex, I still would've been a virgin. And I tried so hard to get a gf, I really did. PAid for dating apps, coaches, everything. Every existing strategy that is out there, I did it and nothing worked, and of course, I am always blamed for it.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-05-06T11:22:03+00:00

I wasn't attracted to him. I'm not sure that he was really all that into me either or just didn't talk to other women. After a while we realised nothing was happening and this was a friendship, so we officially made it a friendship. We're great as friends.

PMmeareasontolive · 2023-05-06T18:29:28+00:00

we didn't seem to have a lot in common. Some things we did though. Now I wish I'd put in more effort because - when you are an ~ average guy you don't have a lot of opportunities, and some perfect person isn't going to choose you, so having some things in common (even if it's not a lot) actually isn't too bad.

politicsthrowaway230 · 2023-05-07T15:14:48+00:00

Apparently had internal conflict for months, decided to break up with me, bottled it and took it back, we stayed together for another unhappy few months, she found someone new and broke it off.

HobbitShaker88 · 2023-05-08T16:00:28+00:00

If I had to pick one thing I'd say selfishness and lack of reciprocity in the relationship for the majority of them (effort, treatment) I dont think it was just "that they werent into me" because they did it with women after me and also with other people around them (but I didnt start seeing that until 3-6 months into the rel)

Other reasons:

-lying, deceit, lack of loyalty. SO many exes with inappropriate contact with their exes but they'd freak out if I did the same.

-overall too immature. This causes a variety of rel issues but mostly conflict resolution and poor communication issues. I needed men to reach a certain threshold and being a bit more immature than me for some things is fine, but more than that, no. I always felt I was expected to be the more mature one.

-not enough in common (worse when the guy is selfish and I have to make myself like things I dont to make the relationship work)

- a couple didnt have these issues but we were incompatible for other reasons (personality traits that arent bad but clashed with me), too different views on money/sex/kids/religion, him moving away and me not wanting to uproot my life and follow him. Those are my exes I dont view negatively.

-lack of emotional intelligence is a big one. I highly value this and I dont have the patience to deal with explaining common sense emotional intelligence skills to people. Women are pretty much expected to be geniuses in this area while men get alot of leeway.

Mxchina · 2023-05-09T09:11:42+00:00

She dumped me because there was no future together. No surprises.

Ok_Smile_60 · 2023-05-11T01:53:45+00:00

Came to America when she was 16, went back to home country by herself for first time in 10 years, went out for drinks with friends, ended up sleeping with one, lied about and spent 10 weeks having an affair. When discovered, refused to come home and filed for divorce

Title	Why did your previous relationships end?
Author	Reasonable-Software2
Upvotes	14
Comments	152
Date	May 6, 2023 1:47 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1398dv9/why_did_your_previous_relationships_end/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-did-your-previous-relationships-end.1218191 https://theredarchive.com/post/1218191

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