Do you plan on having children?

LadyofTheGreyPath · 2023-03-03T19:42:40+00:00

Nope and I'm having my tubes tied or outright removed.

CimZim · 2023-03-03T20:04:05+00:00

Nope. I'm 38 and known for a 100% fact since I was 16 years old that I would be happiest if I was childfree.

Have never regretted my decision to not reproduce, or even had any moments of doubt. Guess my biological clock is fucking busted lol.

PonderingPeaches · 2023-03-03T20:45:52+00:00

No. I’ve never wanted kids tho. It has nothing to do with the economy or anything. I just really hate kids.

RocinanteCoffee · 2023-03-03T23:32:32+00:00

I am not having children and won't date those who want them (and in most cases won't date anyone who has them).

That being said, though there are more childfree people (and more happily childfree people) than ever before, having kids is still popular, and more than half of long-term couples do.

2023-03-03T18:32:01+00:00

Short answer it no, I don’t. I never felt any desire for them.

bread93096 · 2023-03-03T22:30:34+00:00

No. Both because of the reasons you listed, and because of more fundamental ones. I don’t think things are generally worse today than they were in the past … but they’ve always been pretty bad. Human history is a long and tragic saga of pain, disease, and violence. Everyone in this thread is chiming in with how much worse their great granddaddy had it - well maybe he shouldn’t have been having kids either, during the Russian civil war, or the great famine or 1713, or whatever crazy shit they managed to survive. They probably would have thought twice, if they’d invented the pill back then. Human existence has been a dumpster fire since day 1.

Oli_love90 · 2023-03-03T19:03:33+00:00

No, I’ve been asked this question at various points in my life, and each time I’ve been single.

There are many reasons I dont think I want kids, but as a perpetually single person, I can’t even envisions a life with kids. As I get older, I really don’t think it’s in the cards.

literaryhogwartian · 2023-03-03T19:10:43+00:00

No No No

throwaway164_3 · 2023-03-03T21:09:37+00:00

Maybe, 50/50.

Biggest issue is bringing a conscious being into the world knowing fully well, in the best case, everyone they love will slowly wither away and die and they too will experience old age, illness, disease, frailty, loss of mental awareness, etc.

I guess the question is does the joy and experiences during being alive, outweigh all the negative stuff (no intrinsic meaning in an indifferent universe, being aware of the inevitability of death and eternal oblivion, inevitable pain and suffering as the body falls apart).

I’m neutral overall and I think it depends. Unless I can guarantee a very high probability of a comfortable and successful life for my child, it seems irresponsible to bring them into an extremely uncertain world.

As a wise man once said, all life is suffering

xingxiaochen · 2023-03-03T23:14:50+00:00

No child policy

gofigure62 · 2023-03-03T18:33:09+00:00

Nope never wanted children and never will. I got surgery to make sure that it won't ever happen.

Crash-Panda · 2023-03-03T18:53:51+00:00

The reason you think modern life is a dumpster fire is because of the internet and social media weaponizing algorithms to get clicks and engagement. "If it bleeds it leads"! The media is not there to inform you, it's purpose is to keep you engaged with it and the best ways to that are with pessimism, fear and rage-bait.

We have problems but there has literally NEVER been a better time in human history to be living and if you doubt that, please tell me if you had a time machine where/when you would prefer to live.

This notion that everything sucks and is pointless is ridiculous. Ask immigrants who grew up in ACTUAL conditions of hardship and are clamoring to come to the West how terrible they think things are and they will rightfully look at you like you are crazy.

ChadChasingB · 2023-03-03T21:38:44+00:00

I plan on adopting multiple kids.

lady_ven0m · 2023-03-04T00:53:29+00:00

I have one child, and as much as I love him, being a parent is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. It’s so difficult to manage a career with a small child. Daycare is ridiculously expensive. I never want any more children ever.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2023-03-03T19:32:48+00:00

We're currently not financially stable enough to add a child into our lives, so maybe in a few years. It's not something we want super badly, so we're happy to take our time and if it works out, it works out, if it doesn't, so be it.

If money wasn't an issue, sure, we'd have a kid soon. There was never a time in history when everything was amazing and it was totally not risky to have kids. There have always been issues and people have dealt with that shit. Things will always change and we'll find ways to handle them, humans have faced much worse and have survived and flourished.

But no, I wouldn't want to raise a kid in the U.S. in particular and thank whatever deity is out there that we don't live there.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2023-03-03T18:32:14+00:00

Dad here. Got one of our own and one we fostered who still calls me dad. If you are looking for the perfect time to have kids then you’ll never have kids. Cause there are always going to be problems. The 50’s? Polio and threat of nuclear annihilation. 90s? The crack epidemic, rapid cost of living increases, and the outsourcing of blue collar jobs. The 2020s? lol no matter when we look around: we always got problems.

But we got great kids who get outpourings of love from friends and family and they to do their part of being kind to others and maybe doing things in their own lives to make the world a better place. Even if that’s just spending time with friends and family and spreading joy.

mackenzie013_02 · 2023-03-03T19:42:13+00:00

No, children are awful.

Cosima_Fan_Tutte · 2023-03-03T19:45:10+00:00

Even with money how would one be okay with raising a kid in the West, specifically the U.S.?

Oh jeez. My great-grandparents lived through the Russian revolution and the Russian civil war. My grandparents lived through World War II. My grandmother survived the Siege of Leningrad, for chrissakes.

My own life in a middle-class mid-America suburb is so easy and luxurious and peaceful in comparison that it would make my ancestors weep with envy. I have three kids. My husband and I might worry about immediate stuff like family income, but we've never spent a minute thinking about these apocalyptic scenarios.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-03-03T18:45:17+00:00

No. I don't think they'd end up in a "dumpster fire" and I don't think there's been a time in history where people have felt better. I also don't live and don't intend on living in America, although I certainly would prefer to raise a child in the comforts of the west if I had one. I just don't want them.

SleepingBearWalk · 2023-03-03T21:49:27+00:00

33F. And no I do not want them. I knew I would never have children at roughly 10 years of age. The instinct and drive just isn’t there. I do believe my childhood played a heavy role in influencing this. And while I sought out therapy to work through what happened -my decision is already set in stone, it is not plastic. Physically, I broke my back 12 years ago and my lower back and right SI joint is fused. So I was also advised by doctors to not have children. A more then fair price to pay to walk. My partner, also does not want children. Nor does he have any.

I don’t hate children either. I am very happy being an aunt, and cried when my closest friend who had been trying for sometime to have children finally got the news that she was pregnant. Her and her husband are great parents.

Edit: typo

sweetestpineapple · 2023-03-03T22:36:30+00:00

Strongly leaning towards no. My main reasons are physical, but I also take the state of the world into consideration. My man agrees, and he grew up in a poor country if that matters.

sadgurl12345 · 2023-03-03T22:40:30+00:00

i'm not convinced that i want children. i'm in my 30s though so i don't have a lot of time. i like my life to be slow and noise free as possible so i guess it depends on how that change in the future.

Useful-Indication225 · 2023-03-04T00:44:56+00:00

No.

Existence is a shitshow and we’re governed by corrupt sociopaths in a reality filled with more suffering than joy and the future is even bleaker all things considered.

Disease, murder, starvation, abuse, torture, deceit, exploitation… is it really fair to bring sentient life into such a reality?

And that’s without even starting on the cost, sacrifice, energy and effort needed to do as good a job as possible.

hijodebluedemon · 2023-03-03T22:25:12+00:00

Not a lot of mentions of the biggest reasons to not have kids: climate change and authoritarianism by far right, (who incidentally are against science and therefore, they will make it almost certain that we go down the worst case scenario regarding climate change).

medlabunicorn · 2023-03-04T00:25:49+00:00

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2023-03-04T03:35:29+00:00

I plan to have children but I’m not deluded enough to believe the experience will be pleasant.

gate18 · 2023-03-03T19:36:52+00:00

I'm not having kids.

But not because of anything you said

Massive inflation: not as bad as in the past when people had kids.

corrupt politicians: Even in more corrupt countries people have kids.

mating crisis: this question would not be for them.

population growth collapse: what does that mean?

nuclear war potential: it always existed

rise of loneliness: a lot of people have kids for that reason.

distrust in authority: that's the best thing on the list.

chronic health conditions: No one thinks it will happen to them.

I just dislike the idea of being a parent.

There's a sub about childless people, and honestly, even though I'm one of the people that dislike kids. That sub is kind of dumb. They pretend that they are somehow better than parents. (Granted, a lot of parents think they are better than us, but it's equally cringy)

I don't want to take care of a bundle of shit, piss, and cries. That's it. I'm no better or worse that others that like such a bundle.

spongeboymebob321 · 2023-03-03T18:46:34+00:00

yeah but i wanna die before there born so they can have character development

saraimarsena · 2023-03-03T19:10:31+00:00

i’m a preschool teacher living in a major US city. and yes I want kids, very very much.

in my optimal world I’d probably have 2 or 3, but due to rising costs I’ll probably end up having just 1. i can’t even put into words the love and fulfillment I feel taking care of these kids and I can’t wait to have one of my own one day.

MrsKetchup · 2023-03-03T18:55:54+00:00

I grew up being defiantly against having kids for all those stated reasons, and also just not wanting to have to go through pregnancy. That part still kind of turns me off to it, but it's just a fact of the matter. As for the other worldly issues, as another commenter said there's never a "right" time; throughout history there's always going to be something terrible going on that people just have to live through.

We're trying now, I think we're both in the mindset of "happy if it happens, still happy if it doesn't". We live in a quiet suburban town with a great school district and family oriented community, financially stable, all the right qualities to raise a family so the pieces are in place

NotARussianBot1984 · 2023-03-03T20:51:01+00:00

I did, I tried, but after failing to find a girl in my 20s to have a family with, I decided to stop dating and see sugar babies. Much happier and less stress now.

I've seen every marriage growing up fail, I'm not risking marrying a girl that is settling for me. Rather be single for life and that's what I picked.

Now I'll just see a college girl or go overseas for vacations to satisfy a need.

social_mule · 2023-03-04T02:36:48+00:00

I do not plan on having children. I got a vasectomy a few years ago.

slazengerx · 2023-03-04T08:09:05+00:00

I had a vasectomy at 33. I knew very early on I had (1) a significant interest in sex, and (2) zero interest in breeding.

DeepHouseDJ007 · 2023-03-03T20:54:20+00:00

Hell no. For one thing the world is already overcrowded and lacking natural resources.

And kids are annoying and costly, and they just get in the way of having the freedom to live your best life. I’d rather spend my time and money on traveling and seeing the world with my partner, have some adventures, eat some great food, stay at nice hotels and experience the best of what life has to offer.

And changing diapers and driving kids to soccer practice when I’m on break from some 9 to 5 job that makes me miserable isn’t how I see myself living when I’m in my 40’s.

EulenWatcher · 2023-03-03T18:37:24+00:00

We want to have children, but we have to get to the point of financial stability first which will take some time.

I am far more okay with raising kids in the West rather than in Russia. There are issues everywhere and all the time, you so your best to raise functioning human beings. My husband and I were born in 90s in Russia. If our parents were able to raise us in Russia during that period, I guess we’ll manage in a safer and richer country with more social freedom and equality.

Purple317 · 2023-03-03T23:14:59+00:00

I have two, a boy and a girl. I would have liked to have had more, but it would really have been a struggle financially / logistically. (My husband has 3 kids from his first marriage so he has 5 altogether. And we are solidly middle class, not high earners.)

At age 41 now with my kids in elementary school, my heart still aches a bit thinking I won’t have another baby to snuggle, to nurse, to rock to sleep. But I have two beautiful, smart, and healthy children, so I know I’m lucky.

I do worry about the world they will grow up in. I have 529 plans for them and contribute each month. It won’t pay for college outright, but it will help reduce the amount of student loans they’ll need, etc. My greatest desire is for them to grow up to be happy, healthy adults. I’ll do anything I can to make that happen.

Usual-Leopard-9102 · 2023-03-04T00:26:07+00:00

I was sad that i dont have children. But those are some factors why its okay for me. Its a mixed feeling. Would like to but would make me sad to see the live and the low oportunities they have. Im fine with my income for myself but for children.....no i fear to have to let them go into a public shool....

GlamSunCrybabyMoon · 2023-03-04T01:25:26+00:00

I have one, but I wish I had at least 2 more. I like children and I have the patience for them. I don’t think I will be having more because I don’t have a good enough support system and the current state of the US (mainly education) is not ideal for raising children. I don’t even see myself meeting someone and starting a family with them because dating sucks. I’d get a donor.

BreezyBritt89 · 2023-03-04T01:54:58+00:00

No I do not. It’s not really because of the reasons you listed,although they are good reasons. I have had a “childfree” mindset since around 12. I know that sounds crazy but I knew already it was just something I had no interest in. It did not and does not look fun.It has never changed,at this point I’m a few months shy of 34.

I’ll be honest a lot of my reasons are selfish. I personally see nothing wrong with being selfish in this context because it hurts no one (some people would say it hurts me but that’s their opinion). I enjoy having a comfortable enough life,being able to sleep in on a free day,take long hot baths,spend my money on things for my partner and I and have sex in my house whenever I feel like it. I also don’t do well with sleep deprivation which almost all parents go through at first. It just isn’t the lifepath for me. It seems crazy to bring a human life into the world just to appease everyone else’s lifescript. Plus the physical effects of pregnancy on my body is something is something I’d rather not deal with.

badgersonice · 2023-03-04T02:44:23+00:00

Well, plan isn’t quite the word. I have one, am just about to have a second, and might plan for a 3rd, depending on finances/health/age.

As for whether “the west” is good enough— like, where specifically do you wish you lived instead… and why? The grass is always greener, after all… but it’s better to see the positives in the life you can build for yourself than to just pout that you don’t live in “The Not the West”. (I also don’t get why so many guys just plain despise their own culture and people and civilization so much— you guys definitely wouldn’t fit in at all in some other culture any better.)

As for wanting kids in this horrible horrible time… um, the world has always been terrible for us peasants. But in today’s world, I don’t have to give birth to 12 just to have 2 maybe make it to adulthood. My risk of dying in childbirth is way lower than ever. My kids aren’t going to die of smallpox or the plague or measles or typhus or diphtheria. I can almost guarantee that my children will be well fed and receive good medical care.

Those things alone are priceless.

The world is always at risk, and yes, everything could take a horrible turn for the worst— all the things you mentioned are real and negative and concerning.

But you know, I don’t think it’s wise or heathy just throw up my hands in desperate weeping nihilism.

ashleyrose56 · 2023-03-04T06:21:56+00:00

Yes. I'm 23 and I want to be a mother while still young. I can't think of any period in history in which people have been as comfortable as now (poverty levels, access to healthcare, technology, opportunities). You are being way too fatalistic.

INFPneedshelp · 2023-03-04T08:11:06+00:00

No. Paltry support for parents in three US

I_DRINK_ANARCHY · 2023-03-04T09:27:52+00:00

Honestly, none of the reasons you listed are why I'm child-free. I was 7 years old and knew I didn't want to be a mother. It honestly filled me with a sense of dread, and I was so relieved when I grew up a little and found out I had a choice in the matter.

I don't hate kids, I had a lovely childhood, there's nothing negative that happened to me to make me not want kids. I just see motherhood as being trapped. I'm glad other women (and men) find joy in parenthood, but it's not for me.

I got my tubes removed when I was 29. Took a while to convince the gyno, but I felt the continued use of birth control was pointless, since I knew the end goal was sterilization. It made sex with my then fiancé, now husband, very freeing.

panascope · 2023-03-04T01:12:04+00:00

I got two, it's easy and fun, dang I love babies. Falling for doomer news stories on reddit just makes you a sucker.

SeveralSadEvenings · 2023-03-03T18:56:43+00:00

I have 1 son with my husband, things are pretty good in our lives. We live in a nice solidly blue UMC bubble in Chicago; everyone is fit and healthy/college educated and employed, the school my son attends is in the top 5% of elementary schools in Illinois, our family friendly neighborhood is full of nice houses, green gardens, of all sorts of enrichment nonsense like block parties, family night at the library, AYSO soccer league, outstanding parks dept. and rec center, climate change/environmental initiatives, LGTBQI+++++ allies, cultural nights and festivals, blah blah blah.

We don't want anymore cause we're a happy little trio and I want all our resources pooled instead of spread thin between various children who may or may not 'make it'.

The world has been ending forever, all we can do is make peace with our corner of it and with our best efforts, hopefully our progeny will do better with their little corner of it.

relish5k · 2023-03-03T22:47:18+00:00

I have a 2 year old and am 7 months pregnant.

Dumpster fire shmunster fire. Everyone throughout history has always been going on and on about this being the end of days. So far so good, humans are resilient. Hopefully our kids or grandkids aren’t left with the hot potato but if history is an indicator, people will survive and be fine, even if some things change.

We are well off but even so it’s tough! Between work and childcare and keeping everyone in the household fed and clothed, it’s quite an intense effort. It helps A LOT to have two parents who are equally dedicated to keeping the household running and solvent. And we are extremely fortunate to have grandmas who love nothing more than spending the weekend hanging out with our toddler.

I get why people don’t want to do it, and even though it’s hard it’s totally awesome. I don’t regret anything - I love our family.

BigOleGreenTrees · 2023-03-03T19:14:42+00:00

When I was young I assumed I would have a husband and kids. When I actually got into relationships with men and tried to imagine adding dependents, I just can't.

As is, life is just work. I work most days, come home to chores, get a little r&r if I can then sleep and straight to work again next morning. I couldn't afford to not work. I couldn't afford much additional expenses. Unless I want to raise them in a trailer park on food stamps I don't see kids ever fitting into this fucked up life we Americans live.

blueshinx · 2023-03-03T19:56:04+00:00

I love kids and I want a family. I’m in my early 20s so this isn’t happening any time soon

I would argue it is more moral to have kids in modern times as compared to the conditions that our ancestors had to experience

TheRedPillRipper · 2023-03-03T20:25:52+00:00

Even with money

Money is a pivotal factor, but equally so is time. We have 3 kids, and live in a community with other young families. Those two factors, and the lack of, is often the topic at school pick-ups, play dates and parties. So it’s understandable, to be mired in it. However there are positives.

The first is a support networks. Not only does having kids create a support network for the future, it forces you to actively engage in your community. To your children’s(and your) benefit. Second it adds not only dimension, but perspective. Being a parent makes you look at the world differently. Ever heard the sentence; ”After we had kids..”

Do you plan

Finally this is the most important factor. You have to plan well. You can have all the money in the world, but if you’re time poor, you have little time. To enjoy your kids. So having a solid goal, with a detailed plan, is crucial. Also as a parent, routine, routine, routine. Repetition isn’t boring, it’s stable.

Godspeed and good luck!

j3wbacca996 · 2023-03-03T21:23:41+00:00

26M living in the USA and am married. Besides the reasons of genuinely love my wife, thinking she would be a fantastic mother, and it just feels like the natural thing to have kids with her, the reason I want have kids is unironically because of all of the issues you just listed.

All of the problems are the result society raising bad/corrupt people, so literally the only solution is… replace them with good/incorruptible people. Which can’t happen overnight, it’s something that will be probably multi-generational just like how our world becoming so corrupt was something that occurred over multiple generations.

It’s always ironic to me when people say “the world sucks, why would I have kids?”, because literally the only way you make the world better is by raising better people.

purplish_possum · 2023-03-03T23:39:22+00:00

I have four kids from two women and nine grandkids.

MyLastBestChance · 2023-03-03T23:39:58+00:00

Had my first at 29 and my second at 31 (18 months apart). Made for a few crazy years! Life is what you make it and regardless of the state of the world, setting your children up for success as adults is the most important job any parent has. I wouldn’t trade it for anything and also absolutely respect those who choose a different path.

yohanya · 2023-03-04T05:20:43+00:00

I am female in the US and have a child, with plans for more in the future. I do not see dumpster fires everywhere I look.. I am incredibly happy and am excited to give my children the tools to be happy as adults as well. It is easy to get caught up in negatives when you are merely surviving, I know this because I was there at a time. We are single income and make below average salary for our area, but we have budgeted in a way that allows us to thrive rather than survive. Shifting my focus away from money and towards nature and human connection has made me more content anyway.

I have nothing but respect for the women in my cohort deciding to be childfree, but I do think antinatalism is a very deceitful and flawed moral philosophy.

Lucr3tius · 2023-03-03T21:25:03+00:00

Yes I plan on having children.

Fundamentally I value the extremely rare experience of living, and consider it one of life's most important and beautiful tasks to pass the gift on to the future. It's not simply felt as an obligation but as something that must occur in order for me to feel as though I have lived a fully human life. It is a worthy challenge but I also value familial connection, comradery, and generally being the reliable support system.

In terms of dealing with the current iteration of a dying and decadent civilization I believe living through this experience is a strength above all else in terms of giving the next generation a fighting chance... so this is the exact wrong time to forgo having children. I want to educate my children on how to pursue meaning with intention, and instill values that focus their path in life away from distraction and vice toward accomplishment... while harnessing their curiosity as the engine that will drive them forward. Above all I want to help them struggle and comprehend, and partly reexperience the discovery of the world vicariously through their growth.

I believe it is an exceptionally difficult task, which is another reason why I'm likely drawn to it.

We have not inherited Thulê from our ancestors, we have borrowed it from our children.

DaveyJonesCrockett · 2023-03-03T19:47:30+00:00

Yes one day. Not anytime soon as I'm a guy in my early 20s but my dream is to get married and have 2 kids.

TermAggravating8043 · 2023-03-03T21:27:00+00:00

There’s always a global reason not to have kids, if you look hard enough you’ll find something

Wanting to have kids should be an instinct you’ve had since you were young, knowing you wanted to be a parent one day

AstronautLoveShack · 2023-03-03T21:32:04+00:00

I had one in 1993. I would have had another but it was not in the cards. Oh well, at least the one I did have was spoiled rotten.

Early-Christmas-4742 · 2023-03-03T21:55:33+00:00

Life has always been a struggle. Most people find it enjoyable despite the fact rhere are negative things going on. I already have children, not in the US thoigh

lovelythecove · 2023-03-04T00:30:39+00:00

Yep, have a toddler and another on the way. We’re 25/26. We made 6 figures together pre-babies, basically always lived off one income though, only had $15K of student loans total which we paid of quick, we saved heavy, invested heavy, and now my spouse makes 180% of our previous combined income pre-babies working less hours, plus we have passive income now as well. We are both home most of the day most of the year, minus a few weeks each season. We live in a LCOL area but work remote in a HCOL area still.

We could make it work with a lot less but we don’t really have to because we both knew early on what we wanted and did what we needed to to make that happen. We were financially ready sooner than we’d anticipated though, for sure, so we took the leap into parenthood younger than we’d originally planned as well. Loving it and looking forward to baby 2, maybe another one or two later on as well.

I don’t blame anyone for opting out though. Our set up is not very conventional and there was definitely some luck and happenstance involved.

EBZ1722 · 2023-03-04T07:21:51+00:00

I have kids and I've never understood this line of reasoning. Never in human history has it been safer to have a child than now. The entire history of our species is characterized by enduring hardship and suffering, literally two centuries ago the child mortality rate was 470 per 1000 births, despite the astronomical risk incurred humans were not put off by mating and starting families.

The problem is we have a generation of cowards, I truly don't mean offense here OP but you sound like someone who's groveling in fear. For what? What kind of life can you expect to live when you're so deeply terrified of everything? A generation paralyzed by fear is effectively engaging in cultural suicide, which means bad times ahead for the west.

bread93096 · 2023-03-04T00:50:48+00:00

absolutely. I think the test of somebody being an NPC is if they say they dont want children because of some reddit reason like kids r gross or they want to travel or they dont want to bring somebody into this evil heckin world! Even the economy reason is pretty stupid because people were raising families of 5 on one coal miners salary which was nothing. People just need to say theyre lazy and too focused on their own pleasure.

ryanmo28 · 2023-03-03T19:02:49+00:00

Yes, I need to leave a mark somewhere that I was atleast alive in this world. I don't live in west so yeah.

jay10033 · 2023-03-03T19:21:44+00:00

One would be ok because most of the things you list that you worry about don't impact you day to day.

MistyMaisel · 2023-03-03T19:28:15+00:00

Yes, I do. Gotta be part of the solution and the future. Not refuse to have hope.

KayRay1994 · 2023-03-03T19:58:40+00:00

under the right circumstances - ie. I get my problems hashed out (same with whatever girl i end up with), the general economic state of where i live is on a positive upswing and if things aren’t culturally broken - otherwise, nah

HighestTierMaslow · 2023-03-03T20:48:53+00:00

I dont agree today is a dumpster fire. I love reading history books and though modern life has its problems we are way better off now than we were in the past. Even poor ethnic people right now have it better. (Though I do agree my parents lives were better financially than the current generation, however as a woman my life would have been worse overall)

2023-03-03T22:51:33+00:00

I sometimes get into this way of thinking, I don’t think anything you said is wrong specifically. But I also think access to technology and the 24/7 news cycle greatly complicates things. People who are foreign policy experts go to school and work for decades in order to be able to analyze things like what’s going on in Ukraine. I as a lay person can see what’s happening there, and hear sound bites from reporters and experts but I don’t truly understand the nature of the conflict or it’s likely outcome. I’m just bombarded by the horrors of war. Which I also appreciate is significantly less traumatizing then the parents raising children in that area. When I get to down about the state of the world I find strange comfort in knowing how many millions of other mothers held their children at night and felt like they were raising them in the most fraught time in history. Maybe they were right, maybe I am, but humanity marches on. I also have the privilege of not having to worry about my kiddo experiencing poverty, and a lot of that comes down to generational wealth that is entirely unearned on my part. The few times that I’ve truly worried for her safety or needed resources for her I couldn’t access were eye opening to how traumatizing it would be to be a parent who is food or housing insecure. The fact that my greatest concern for her are existential means I’m luckier than most people in the world. And so I have hope her world will look brighter to her, than it does to me now.

ResearchingStories · 2023-03-04T19:21:41+00:00

If only we had more people to solve these problems

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WonderWolf16 · 2023-03-04T01:51:04+00:00

SoldierExcelsior · 2023-03-04T02:18:45+00:00

I have a budget and a plan for having children whether I will or not I don't know I enjoy my life and don't want to be tied down with the responsibility same reason I don't want a wife.I can afford children I just don't want to be bothered with babies...So

But I've set aside funds to have 2 children through surrogacy and have the surrogate mothers raise them untill they are about 10 years old at which point I will receive the children and continue their care from there.

with the current situation regarding western women this is the best option for a man that wants children as marriage and having a child that a women has legal rights to that she can leverage over you in court is an undesirable situation..

This is my plan and I encourage more men to consider similiar steps I've seen to many men dragged through the courts thrown in jail even delete themselves over having to deal with baby mommas or ex wives or...protect your seed at all cost most women aren't deserving of it.

GooseneckRoad · 2023-03-04T04:40:52+00:00

Yes! There are a lot of personal complications (physical/mental health, education, career) that I have to sort out before I have kids, though, so I'll probably be over 30 before I actually can.

Anti_Thing · 2023-03-04T07:28:10+00:00

Massive inflation, corrupt politicians, poor job prospects, & chronic health conditions have existed throughout history. We'll adjust to AI automation just like we've adjusted to literally every tech advancement ever. I intend to help my kids pay for college if they choose to go just as my parents did for me. At the same time, I'll urge them to consider alternatives. Mating crisis/population growth collapse are a reason why we must have children! Unless you're a politician, military officer, or other highly influential person, nuclear war is utterly not worth worrying about. The rise in loneliness is another reason to have kids. Aside from people you know or otherwise have a good reason to trust, authority should be distrusted by default.

I frankly don't care about any of the downsides or negatives. I intend to make as much money as is reasonably possible without destroying myself, & simply trust the Lord to provide. I'll be the best parent I can; aside from that, it's in God's hands. I am extremely determined to have children. All the money, power, knowledge, experience, or fun in the world would mean absolutely nothing to me without a wife & kids. Dying childless seems like a fate worse than death to me. Seeing young dads with their children makes me teary eyed. Aside from failing to find a wife soon enough, absolutely nothing can stop me aside from God telling me not to. If my wife & I can't have kids for medical reasons, I intend to adopt. Willingness to have kids is one of my few absolute deal-breakers when it comes to dating. At this point, there is no argument or life circumstance that can change my mind about having kids.

prizefighterstudent · 2023-03-04T08:17:20+00:00

This is Reddit. Everybody here hates children, hates themselves. Not always their fault, granted.

I’d like 4, still young. 2 minimum.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2023-03-04T09:35:52+00:00

I have three, and three step children

I love being a mother

kalashhhhhhhh · 2023-03-04T09:47:54+00:00

Yes, I want to have kids one day, in about 6-7 years when I finish my studies and start my career. My boyfriend is on the same page.

I've always envisioned my life with kids. I want to raise a new generation. The thought of creating a human being that's half me and half my partner makes me feel really positive.

This is arguably the best time in history to live in. I'm not in the US though.

I don't think Reddit demographics are representative of the bigger picture.

lvlupkitten · 2023-03-04T09:57:30+00:00

Nope. Been adamantly childfree since I was 5 and my mum told me what sex was (I asked), as soon as I could even vaguely conceptualise anything relating to parenthood, I noped the fuck out. There is genuinely not a single aspect of being a parent, much less a mother, that I think seems enjoyable. I literally don't understand any reason for wanting to do it lol. I think life just missed me with the biological imperative to have kids

Substantial_Video560 · 2023-03-04T10:44:19+00:00

No and neither do I want to get married or be in a relationship. My bloodline ends here (unless my older brother has kids which is unlikely) and that's a good thing.

Loveenglishpeople · 2023-03-04T12:24:17+00:00

The answer is No. never. Never wanted them, never will.

There are so many good reasons to not have children! I will esit my comment to give them to you :

MONEY : They cost a helll lot of money. More than 300k.

RESENTMENT : I would not be a good mother. I hate the company of children. I do not want to give up my free time, energy, health, I’d be jealous of anything my children would have that I didn’t …

DANGEROUS : I am very afraid of pregnancy. It is dangerous, it conveys a ton of health risks, there is a significant number of women that have life long problems after just one pregnancy even if it is deemed a « normal » one! The list of bad things being pregnant can do to your body forever is sooo long and scary, and its not rare events at all. You can also die.

SINGLE MOTHERHOOD : There is no sure way my bf won’t die, living me alone to care for them, in this economy. I have witnessed my mom do it and to this I say : no, thank you.

CAREER : I will probably end up starting my career quite late, and not having children allows me to relax about that and enjoy life in the moment, not worry about my reproductive organs failing me in time.

HOBBIES : I will be able to travel, buy a house, buy nice things for myself and people around me without being a capitalism slave.

ANTINATALIST : I won’t put new being into this world where suffering is certain and hapiness not a given. If I don’t have enough money to support them their whole life, why bring them to this earth? « Hey I birthed you for my own pleasure, now enjoy your next 60+ years of forthed labor, mostly empty of joy, or you’ll die in miserable conditions and you are a worthless piece of sht! Do you thank mommy for the gift of life?! » this is bullsht.

I am a convinced antinatalist : to not exist is to not suffer, and it is better. And don’t come at me about suicide : it is a horrible, horrible experience. Why bring people into this world if their choice is suffer or kill yourself (which is absolutely not a nice experience!!)? That’s just insanely cruel. Its pointless. Better not bring them to life. It’s immoral to have children. Life is way too tough, unless you are really really wealthy and willing to support them their whole life unless they don’t want to.

RELATIONSHIP : Any couple will be happier without children. More time and money and energy to care for the relationship, for the other, to go on little dates, talk to each other, actually have sex… did I mention that pregnancy can robb you forever of any form of sexual pleasure? Yeah. It’s called clitoral tear. How cruel and bad futur planning (so no sex anymore for the husband!) to do that to your own wife, the love of your life, don’t you think?

FRIENDS : no kids = More free time, more energy. will allow me to keep my friends. Keeping a social circle is soo important for hapiness and a good relationship with SO.

You think I am done? Noooooo. There is still the environmental aspect.

ENVIRONMENT : Having a child is literally the most bad action you could do for the environment as an individual. There is nothing worse. Why? You double yourself. Double your impact. Everything you will ever do in your life that pollutes? Now multiply it by two. A true ecologist doesn’t have kids. And don’t come at me with « blabla new generation will save us » if we don’t reduce everything NOW we are fckd. That baby in ur belly rn? By the time his actions can have impact, there won’t be fish and birds anymore. The only thing you are doing rn by having a baby rn as an ecologist is adding to the pile of waste produced by babies worldwide.

CARE : There is no guarantee your child won’t have a debilitating condition. You could end up having to take care of them your whole life. Be a sort if nurse your whole entire life. It would be like staying in the baby stage the entire time. I hate this kind of jobs, I surely don’t want it to be my life. Russian roulet. What if you loose?

DoinIt989 · 2023-03-04T12:43:32+00:00

Yes. Life has always been a dumpster fire.

Even with money how would one be okay with raising a kid in the West, specifically the U.S.?

If you have money living in the US/the "West" is fine. You can avoid most of the dysfunction. Leaving the West only makes sense if you have family ties elsewhere or you are expat and marry a local.

Mick_Shart · 2023-03-04T13:36:26+00:00

I'm 37 and knew from childhood that I never wanted to raise kids. I was said to have had the mental capacity of a ten year old at 18 years and I doubt I have matured much since then.

Weird_Slice4439 · 2023-03-04T16:08:56+00:00

I don't want kids. Schools parent kids now. They teach more social bullshirt than they are actual useful things these kids will need to know. I don't want to pretend to be friends with other parents.

krispiest_kurl · 2023-03-04T16:14:47+00:00

Yes I’m planning to have kids.

I’m great with kids. I genuinely think they’re the coolest people. I have good genetics, so does my bf/future hubby(who also loves kids as much as me!). We have a solid plan for finances prepared to handle inflation and hide away in a big house with lots of kids

RX-HER0 · 2023-03-05T00:21:23+00:00

Yep. I want to be well off or give them a good life though.

hhhhhhikkmvjjhj · 2023-03-07T05:31:30+00:00

In one way I would like it, but I think it’s to feel like I’m normal and have a purpose in life. Don’t think those are good reasons. Also I have a bad relationship with women so probably won’t be good to start a family with one either.

I think the answer I have to land in is no.

TheS3KT · 2023-03-08T20:20:14+00:00

Yes, of course. History was always a dumpster fire and people always thought about good ol days.

Kids bring purpose to life I want kids soon. Mid 30s M. I'll figure out the finances later.

Title	Do you plan on having children?
Author	Reasonable-Software2
Upvotes	24
Comments	170
Date	March 3, 2023 6:24 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/11hachg/do_you_plan_on_having_children/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-you-plan-on-having-children.1154617 https://theredarchive.com/post/1154617

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