Doctors, lawyers, professors, engineers, businessmen, what is your dating life like?

Sorry_Ad_8124 · 2022-08-30T15:36:44+00:00

My dating life was distorted by women thinking I was well off, and so sometimes not presenting authentically,

SoonerFB916 · 2022-08-30T16:37:06+00:00

I was on the dating apps, changed my occupation from “hospital” to “doctor” and got nine new likes in a day. It does help online with initial contact. I also get more connections with nurses within the hospital or on Facebook.

It’s when I’m out at a bar that I can’t exactly walk around saying “I’m a doctor, wanna go out?”

ReorgAtty · 2022-08-30T17:00:58+00:00

I’m an attorney of the ‘prestigious’ variety. Definitely has an impact on dating. It makes things nmuch easier and gives me instant credibility. The downside is a busy work schedule. I’ve bailed mid first date for work, though the girls have always been cool about it. There are also some that won’t even look at guys who aren’t ‘prestigious’ like me, through there are prob similar preferences for various lifestyles.

raatdigedi · 2022-08-30T17:14:07+00:00

Engineers especially mechanical ones are known to be single af

vicvic182 · 2022-08-30T18:37:48+00:00

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repfive305 · 2022-08-30T17:33:54+00:00

It's the same as being jacked imo. It definitely helps, but personality and game is the most important. When I walk in a room girls are automatically more interested in me cause I'm in amazing shape. Night and day compared to 10 years ago. I've noticed some girls also being very impressed and showing iois when I tell them I'm a software engineer. But when I have poor frame/come across as desperate, girls still aren't interested. However both have helped tonns because I had no game growing up. They give me an in to test what I'm doing wrong and now my game is top notch.

thot_cop · 2022-08-30T15:18:25+00:00

final year med student. fuck all dating life and it only gets worse afterwards. Why do you think most docs are married to other docs and usually nurses. Don't do med kids!

pre_nerf_infestor · 2022-08-30T19:32:33+00:00

Doctor. Not only am I happily married with child, but I was shacked up first year out of medical school. Most of my classmates were the same, and usually with fellow classmates. I'm proud to have married a non doctor because frankly we're all a bit mad.

Once in a while you'd get a real player in the group but they are fea and far in between. Literally too busy at work to fuck.

So your speculation is right based on my experience.

PS. Why am I in this sub? Because 1. The sub helped me land my wife, and 2. Coming here occasionally is like a mix of visiting the zoo and the museum.

Blaphrodite · 2022-08-30T18:56:50+00:00

It’s a disaster. 80% of folks around don’t understand your schedule, financial matters or your logic.

A disaster.

ShinzoBinzo · 2022-08-30T16:03:37+00:00

Business guy here. It all depends on where you are and what type of business. If your business is self-sustained, you have a lot more free time - I put in 90 hrs plus a week. dating is non existing, and a lot of average women are not used to "performing" people. We tend to be systematic, predictable, and have routines and can safely say that the average person is typically turned off by this - best to date women with fathers who are of the same elk as yourself.

irunian · 2022-08-30T15:17:24+00:00

It’s all about confidence and connection. My dating life was actually better before I became successful. I work crazy hours and don’t have time to practice. That being said my colleagues who are in the next phase who have sold their businesses and are back to practicing have the absolute best dating lives I’ve ever seen. Because they have the prestige and the time. So I would say that the best dating is before you are successful and later after you start to slow down a bit.

FRCP_12b6 · 2022-08-30T18:36:27+00:00

I wouldn't expect some huge differences across the board here, but my experience is below:

You're busy so you tend to do dating after work for a couple hours when you have time.
You are most likely looking for someone who is also in the same relative salary range, so they are also just as busy as you.
Once you get a steady relationship, you work around each other's schedules and try to eat dinner together, etc.
After a while, you may want to go on vacation with each other. You'll go somewhere nice but not for too long as you both have to go back to work a few days later.
Eventually you have a wedding, which will be more expensive the more disposable income you have. The ring will be more expensive too.

Noting that the occupations listed in the title can have very different incomes across the spectrum, like a businessman could be a billionaire or a struggling entrepreneur.

doginit1978 · 2022-08-30T17:12:20+00:00

I’m a CEO (someone else’s business) and have dated a doctor, a lawyer and now dating a dentist’s ex-wife. Alot of successful people have distinct personality traits that drive them to be successful. OCD-type traits that are controlled for the most part. Driven, focused, determined, confident. Being “successful” gives you credibility but not everyone can keep up with the demands. I’ve found that partners need to be very confident and comfortable in themselves.

EnigmaMind · 2022-08-30T18:35:53+00:00

My experience having worked in a prestigious niche branch of finance, having worked as a software engineer, and having "founded" a few kinda-interesting-but-nothing-crazy businesses:

Last-attended school prestige matters a lot more than company prestige
The majority of people who aren't on prestigious career paths don't know things that some kids spend all of college dreaming about, like that a 22 year old software engineer might make close to double what a 22 year old mid-market banker or 3rd-tier consultant makes; or, that most people on respectable finance tracks will end up being millionaires by age 30.
People are either quantitatively minded or they aren't. I once was involved with a SaaS business that was basically free money. I could explain things tactfully in terms of customers, profit margins, all that stuff. All my guy friends (similar perspectives) would go berserk when I revealed things to them, 9/10 girls I tried to subtly "impress" did not comprehend that I was telling them I was on track to make $100k+ passive income that year. The tenth girl, the one it did work on, had sex with me twice, ghosted, and then spent the next month trying to run a business where she sneakily upsold (white labeled) our offering to customers she found, then threatened to sue me. Lesson learned--though she literally fucked me and paid me.
Dating apps are still dominated by visuals. I'm average looking, to be kind, and when I meet up with women in person, it's always clear from the start that they barely thought about my money/career/personality/intellect at all. I actually used to be caught off guard by how much back tracking I had to do to explain my career and any side hustles if I had referenced them in my profile. I don't claim to "slay" but I regularly get comments where women are dumbstruck by the breadth and depth of conversation.
Less intelligent, more shallow people go for doctors. I agree that it's the most prestigious career in America, but if I could show you the paystubs of even some of the guys I know who are simply working 35hrs per week at FAANG, it's just a hilarious comparison.

So, what is my dating life like? Meeting people "in my league" on apps is still pretty disappointing. Meeting people through friends or in situations where people "get it" is much more normal. Main thing for me at this stage is now having a ton of free time not just to post stupid shit on Reddit but also to meet new people, travel, and be overall less tense and robotic. Hope this helps.

falsomovimento · 2022-08-30T19:35:36+00:00

Engineering PhD. By the time I'm talking about my job with someone I'm pretty much already 'in' so I don't think it affects anything.

Having said that, your career accomplishment do help with your confidence which is kinda big.

spacecatbiscuits · 2022-08-31T00:17:31+00:00

From the people I've known, a lot of the most successful professionally are people who had their personal lives locked down quite early, meaning they met someone and got married and have a 'stable' family life.

I've always thought of it kind of the other way round; that it's easier to focus on professional success when you're not sexually frustrated and spending your time chasing women and dating.

Scc88 · 2022-08-30T19:24:03+00:00

im a remote software engineer. its non existent lol

UnparliamentaryTea · 2022-08-30T21:02:34+00:00

In a prestigious business field. Definitely helps on first impression, but pure compatibility and attraction is still a big thing. Also not rolling in cash quite as much as a lot of people think for my profession. That’s a choice for me, work/life balance is important to me right now but that could always change.

I think the sweet spot for a longer-term relationship is finding someone in a similarly prestigious profession that is not yours or something adjacent (I.e. if you’re in banking, a med-mal lawyer would be a good fit but it could be tougher with a lawyer in M&A). I definitely want someone who understands the workload, ambition, and busy schedule, but if they’re too close to what I do I think there is natural competition and potential for disrespect that wouldn’t be healthy

hotrodcool · 2022-08-30T17:52:28+00:00

I have been out of the market for several years now but when I was in the dating market I learned a few things about girls and myself. Having the "prestige" of being a professional in society really only gains you an in-person audience--which for me is worth its weight in gold since I'm short but I'm gregarious and can make a girl laugh. I can't check that 6ft box so I would get passed over A TON simply based off that. But after I put that I was a design engineer working in aerospace and defense, women paused a bit to give me a chance to talk with them.

I also found that girls would tend not to be as dismissive or disrespectful (in the beginning) when they knew my profession and circles I walked in. I could tell though that I was viewed at as a mark for women wanting to settle down. At point I waited until I found a girl that hadn't been ran through with a 1000-cock stare searching for a white knight to save her, and had morals and values that aligned with mine.

I found that it was very inconsistent to get casual fun, but damn near EVERY girl wanted to be my "one". So when I was ready for it, a lot of girls tried to show that they were good girls so I'd commit to them. ... most of them were not.

Red_White_Brew · 2022-08-30T18:08:57+00:00

Engineer in private equity energy investments. I gotta say my dating life is pretty damn great. I have to hold myself back from scheduling too many dates with different women.

I do know engineers that have much different (sad) dating lives.

bytheninedivines · 2022-08-30T21:38:07+00:00

As a senior aerospace engineering student, the biggest thing holding me back is my engineering friends. The majority of people I've met in class are complete weirdos that can barely hold a conversation, and I'm stuck with them for 90% of every day.

When they're not around it's not too bad though. I can cold approach in peace.

tropicsGold · 2022-08-30T20:21:59+00:00

When word got around that I was preparing for Med school, the interest I got from women went up substantially, although I was so naive at the time I literally didn’t make the connection. 😂 I later switched to patent attorney, and apparently that was acceptable too. There is no doubt that these professions are highly sought after by intelligent young women looking for a suitable man.

Optimisticfob · 2022-08-30T23:41:31+00:00

I make 150k as an engineer, live in a college town, got my own apartment, car AND have a personal trainer (I’m on a cut, and at 17% bf currently)

Still a virgin, and all my friends graduated and left town.

Yerebeets · 2022-08-30T18:14:41+00:00

Freelance Entrepreneur, 22, currently living my best life with an adorable woman (21) I love dearly.

theRealJuicyJay · 2022-08-30T20:09:40+00:00

As an engineer, I appreciate this as the first time I have been referred to as prestigious, so thank you. And dating was the same for me as anyone else I knew, mostly online because dating at a workplace with mostly nerdy men made meeting women hard.

TheFifthEspada679 · 2022-08-30T23:34:30+00:00

If you want a girlfriend then it helps quite a lot. If you want to fuck it’s basically irrelevant

campskills21 · 2022-08-30T16:35:00+00:00

I'm a small time internet entrepreneur, drive a couple expensive cars, and live in a nice place. I'm okay looking maybe 6/10, cool beard, 6ft, early 40s. I date attractive girls of any age usually off dating apps. Current gf of a year is mid 20s swedish, great body, and pretty hot. Success matters an absolute ton if you want to casually date girls out of your league.

marshall_strud · 2022-08-30T19:01:07+00:00

I FUCK

Sure-Wish3240 · 2022-08-30T20:04:18+00:00

Doctor: no dating live during School years. First months after graduation were slow, i had no social networking and online dating only got uglies and single moms. About 4 months into It i had a social life and was fucking cuties non stop. Then i fell in love and got married.

Never once banged a nurse or another med student. But i confess i managed to score a handful of dentist. What i gather from my friends is that doctors have a short time Window on the dating market: the college is brutal and the First few years of work truly exausting. You do not have proper time to sleep or gym, much less party. So you will age faster than average, a 30y old Doctor looks more like a 37y old lawyer or Engineer.

You will get laid a lot while you are fit and handsome, but you lose your health faster than other men, so be wise and find a girl with good personality compatibility before your hair falls and you got yourself a potty belly full of beer.

notthattmack · 2022-08-30T20:35:09+00:00

Sadly academia isn't as lucrative as people assume, so it's tough to be lavish, but generally being in a job that people associate with intelligence is a good thing.

jeeptravel · 2022-08-31T03:06:20+00:00

I’m just gonna add a side note. Half my friends and family are engineers, and not a single one of them works over 40 hours a week. Hell, most actually work 20 hours a week. The rest of the time they’re at home mowing the lawn or something during the work day.

The other professions are very busy though.

EducationalMeeting95 · 2022-08-30T15:23:05+00:00

Imo only doctor is a prestigious role in society

Having said that, I am an Engineer who does programming.

My dating life isn't that great. Although I have been on ~16 first dates since I started dating (7years).

I started learning about emotions, mind , psychology and attraction recently but covid hit. In my house it was a complete lockdown.

One thing I've noticed is my game has gotten better than before. Way better since I gained the above mentioned knowledge.

I do cold approaches sometimes but I live in a major city of India (Mumbai) and everything is quite far with heavy traffic so it's hard to go out to game.

So yeah I am getting there.

the__itis · 2022-08-30T16:45:55+00:00

CTO: no different from before I was C-level

I don’t think enough people know what a CTO is enough to convey an elevated status.

In tech, I think VP/Director titles convey the best

TheyCallMeBigAndy · 2022-08-30T19:19:24+00:00

Mechanical Engineer here. I don't think having a good job improves my dating life that much. Considering the bar is super high these days, my job is like icing on the cake. As long as you meet their minimum requirements, they don't really care.

yay-go · 2022-08-30T19:43:08+00:00

When I was in college, I chatted this sorority girl up and she asked me what I studied. She said “that’s hot” after I answered but proceeded to tell me she had a boyfriend when I asked for her number lmao

herendzer · 2022-08-30T21:34:12+00:00

In my experience a lot of successful people aren’t attractive

robgmedia · 2022-08-30T21:47:38+00:00

I would imagine that professors have their pick of the litter. Always a fresh crop to choose from twice a year. When I was at University the younger single profs were always at the bars with hot students.

BigJerry98 · 2022-08-31T03:29:20+00:00

I definitely don’t make any special money and this may be off topic but my buddy who works at a warehouse for 21$ an hour and can’t save a dime to save his life gets more girls than anyone I know. I think they really just care more about your vibe and energy more than any status you have.

Pr1nceCharming_ · 2022-08-31T03:36:50+00:00

Not a dr, but I visited an ENT surgeon who’s like 70 and banging his 30 year old secretary

enzo32ferrari · 2022-08-30T17:17:46+00:00

NOT GREAT MY DUDE

uki99 · 2022-08-30T21:29:58+00:00

Lawyer here. I can safely say that the biggest pro from that role comes from my own self confidence “if i can get this far, dating will be a breeze!”.

Being relatively financially stable (recently started out at a famous law firm while also being a master’s student), within a big-named firm and with a fresh dose of optimisim, i feel that i can push towards my financial goals without being hindered by “outside failiures”- i can live in a nice roomy apartment, i can afford a comfortable lifestyle, and, due to numerious failiures in my dating life, i became far less stressed out about negative outcomes than before. None of this, however, correlates to my current career.

From my experience, it definitely helps, but it largely depends in what circle of society you mingle in;

Among women who range from working to middle class, I noticed an increased consistency of girls who will “look up your career first, and personality second”, as multiple times, despite my own accidental social missteps, i managed to sway their opinion of me from “meh” to “wow, we should definitely hang out more often” just by naming my profession, even if under normal circumstances i most likely would not get a second chance (a common acquaintance told me that one of the women I was hoping to date bragged that she grabbed herself a “rich boy who will buy her gifts”).

I also noticed that people from this group tend to view you through the lens of “rose-covered glasses”= you are automatically perceived as someone “special” and, if a topic concerning your expertise pops up, you are immediately hailed as an authority on the matter, which gives you a speech monopoly (talking to a friend who was the CEO of a company, I think this is not an uncommon occurrence), and since people love talking about society, law, and politics, I managed to build social rapport without much difficulty most of the time.

Amongst women from midldle to lower upper class, you are more often judged like a normal guy with some potential. Your personality plays a far bigger role than what you do, and the crowd tends to be more polite and attentive to what you have to say.

All in all, except in the case where perceived “social status” stemming from education and profession are disbalanced in your favor, having a so-called “prestigious” profession does not, in my experience, give you any “quick-card” to dating.

My dating life was mainly improved by my own mistakes and, I dare say, embarrassments (i practice cold approaches and had a fair share of successes and failures) as I learned best from “trial and error”, while my current career only gave me some sizable benefits the more people perceived me as someone who was “unique” (as i really am not, but I wouldn't object to the illusion), which was less common amongst people who are closer to your socio-economic status (it is also a good method that can rule out people who are more interested in what you are and not who you are).

Tl:dr; The less impact your “prestigious career” has in her assessment of you, the better your chances of having a good relationship with the aforesaid women.

Top_Client9752 · 2022-08-31T04:50:12+00:00

The funny thing about material success combined with dating later in life is that it creates the added challenge of weeding out gold-diggers. I wanted a partner who was attracted solely to my character, not my finances.

After recalibrating my approach I kept to a vague description of my career ("I work in IT"), avoided any disclosure of the trappings of material success that I enjoy, and avoided inviting dates to my apartment for the first couple of dates. The way I present myself and carry a conversation were much more effective than advertising my material success to dates.

I don't know if it's a coincidence, but this also led me to meet mostly women with similar career success and financial standing.

Reasonable-Software2 · 2022-08-30T19:22:51+00:00

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binarysolo · 2022-08-30T21:37:47+00:00

Businessman, founder/owner of an SMB; tried a buncha random shit in my 20's, and things clicked in my early-30's. My comments are more on people in their 30s, which correlate with people in "prestigious" professions and therefore people know what they want and fuck around less, figuratively/literally.

EDIT: Oh, also since you've got it together, spend time/monies to make a serious effort and get 8/10 fit, which is important to attract equals who are also attractive.

Main changes observed for me now vs when I was "not prestigious":

More resources and flex schedule = I get to do more interesting things that are differentiators. Work remote in a van Alaska->Mexico, organize/bankroll such-and-such dance conference, bikepacking SF->SD.
Friend circle reputation causes a bunch of inbound leads to happen - you'll be known as "that guy that runs SMB X" or "that guy that did XYZ".
Operating at a tier-1 level means your peers are likely gonna be at a tier-1 level in their domain; travel dance buddies with <college friend who's now a TV actress>, hunting/gaming partner to <midtier VC dude>, D&D campaign run by <fantasy author> etc. And that means your dating pool will be of that caliber.

So now to the juicy bits - your subset of dating at this point is gonna be:

A. def gonna get some gold diggers (8s-10s with an aspirational side gig or middling job etc.); you either embrace it and enjoy the fun or become more private.

B. def gonna get some amazing tier-1 professional folks who are at the top of their game; Amal Clooney-types who have their shit together in a holistic way internally+externally, and have exhausted their li'l elite clique of potential dating options (and def don't want to date downwards).

C. People who don't meet your criteria or vice versa; people typically have this notion of what they want and filter 90% of the prospects out and don't really have too much spare time to go with the flow.

Depending on where you are in life you'll pursue A or B hard, and there's a lot of value to both. The dance itself, dating a buncha people from different cultures and walks of life, was really valuable and important to understand the type of connection I wanted over time, and is unto itself a skill. Dating and connecting romantically with one person is merely a subset of connecting with people in general across any walk of life. The bucket of seduction in dating ranges from the "get-rich-quick" psychology hacks to "radical honesty", and over time I think people trend towards an equilibrium of sorts, though that judgment is not in the scope of this post.

So this is where I feel dating life tracks very differently amongst people with "prestigious roles". I feel people who make it here tend to be of a few personality types, and dating here is a matching problem: we have our solo shit together, can my life system mesh well and layer in with the other person who has their system going. At this point, people want equals or accessories, and a lasting relationship requires the consent of both to be what the other desires.

Dating efficiently in this space means you collect a buncha different data points, stress test the good times and the bad times (adventure dates are great, especially ones that stress or fail midway) and see if you two can enjoy each other at your worst. This is kinda where I think resources allow for fun/challenging dates options amongst "prestigious roled people", but honestly it all boils down to some form of "do some fun thing you both like over a long duration of time together", just that depending on your work schedule and your resources, that may range from "go watch a movie and have a dinner at Chipotle" to "impromptu apres-ski at the French Alps after a week of traveling and sleeping on the Eurail".

TarzansNewSpeedo · 2022-08-31T04:05:26+00:00

I'm a prospective law student and the only thing fucking me is the LSAT.

ElectronicReason4597 · 2022-08-30T20:02:32+00:00

As an engineer, I think I’m qualified to say that engineering is not a prestigious role.

thatshinobiboiii · 2022-08-30T20:02:02+00:00

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CareerAdviceThrowMe · 2022-08-30T17:09:48+00:00

Engineer here, I think it doesn’t really matter until I start getting to know girls in person from an approach standpoint then it’ll probably be a plus

-Twyptophan- · 2022-08-30T19:21:01+00:00

Probably doesn't count that much but I'm a med student living in a city. Hasn't really been that much of a big thing outside of "oh that's really cool you must be smart" when I'm chatting with someone at the bar. Only been at it for a few weeks but thus far but I'd imagine it's probably much more attractive when you're actually a physician rather than being someone who's training to be one. I try to let the other aspects of my person/character take over when I'm in that spot

timetobbetter · 2022-08-30T20:58:58+00:00

In addition to those listed above would the stereotype associated with doctors and nurses also apply to pilots and flight attendants?

I feel that with anything there are attractive doctors and attractive pilots as well as unattractive people in both careers. Just having that title doesn’t guarantee matches/dates although if you’re attractive AND that title I’m sure it would get you a lot of responses.

Just a speculation of course. I have no experience with either career but it’d be kinda cool to see the stats. At one point I remember reading “pilot” was the highest swiped occupation on tinder… things people forget is it was probably the attractive demographic of pilots.

cheneyk · 2022-08-30T21:10:09+00:00

Businessman here. I’ve done very well for myself the past few years. This did lead to my current wife googling me to make sure I wasn’t catfishing her when we’d first met 😅

Psuedo_Pixie · 2022-08-30T21:26:00+00:00

I married my husband well before he became a doctor. But anecdotally, I would say his male friends from med school and residency seem to be doing great and have settled down with beautiful and intelligent women.

mew_tattoo · 2022-08-30T21:54:36+00:00

0, virgin at 31 and have 1 of the above degrees.

jbo99 · 2022-08-30T22:47:39+00:00

I am an entrepreneur, just got a significant amount of funding and am very optimistic about my business.

I'm pretty when I tell women what I do they think it's probably a dude in a garage. Doesn't help at all.

TonderTales · 2022-08-31T01:03:05+00:00

Just speaking to what I know:

The title of 'engineer' doesn't earn you much of any brownie points. I'd argue in some places it'll actually hurt you. In a place like San Francisco or Seattle, being a guy with 'Software Engineer' in your bio can immediately get you lumped in with the socially inept programmer stereotype.

But earning enough from one of these jobs to afford a downtown luxury apartment all to yourself? Yeah, that helps a LOT in dating.

The titles that'll actually attract women are probably the ones that would make a girl brag to her friends/coworkers about you. Of the ones you listed, I think doctors probably win in that regard.

dkurniawan · 2022-08-31T01:50:10+00:00

No time for dating

shecallsmedaddyyy · 2022-08-31T04:30:33+00:00

Like shooting fish in a barrel.

DarkiInvader · 2022-08-31T15:16:37+00:00

Oh my god that’s disgusting!! Where ???

refreshingface · 2022-08-31T18:23:05+00:00

Todd V said it best. Being successful in your career and being successful in dating are two different things.

People go to med school and think that they will be a catch after they finish. This is not necessarily the case however.

https://youtu.be/kEAQ8dB4_R4

Contango6969 · 2022-08-30T16:10:33+00:00

It doesn’t help much. Maybe doctors still get some prestige but def not for most of those

bennettca3 · 2022-08-30T21:30:16+00:00

100 matches a week. No one worth my time. Male.

Hehweee · 2022-08-30T22:18:08+00:00

The women I get at 300k a year and 100k a year is about the same. 50k to 100k made the bigger difference. But at the end of the day, it really depends on what it is that you're looking to get. "Techniques" utilized in casual dating and the approach you should have when looking for a life partner are quite different.

BullyBumble · 2022-08-31T01:33:40+00:00

I wait tables.

Occasionally we have obviously high profile guests. I always feel better when I pass a table w a few obviously “prestigious” men and they’re just bitching/confused about women. Hearing “I don’t know what to do w ______, that girl I was telling you about?” feels like unity.

Professional_Leg844 · 2022-08-31T02:14:58+00:00

As a woman, I avoid all except engineers. I'm a blue collar girl and would never want to live on a golf course lol. A lot try to match with me though I just feel too rough around the edges personality wise for them.

jafbm · 2022-08-30T18:43:43+00:00

My first wife was my trauma nurse. We were married 13 years.

thedancingdoctor · 2022-08-31T00:38:04+00:00

Awesome. Prestige goes a long way, especially if you stay fit and charismatic. Excuse my lack of humility.

webmentorman · 2022-08-31T04:56:41+00:00

Hi, I posted last year on my experience. Sorry I don't know how to create a hyperlink, but here's the posting https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/q9198h/i_dont_use_dating_apps_and_meet_plenty_of_nice

Recently I've been dating a lot of fun adventure girls (outdoorsy and fit is my type). My biggest issue post COVID is only so many days and nights in a week, and many fun friends want to take advantage of the last summer days.

Full disclosure I'm ENM and demisexual so I don't sleep with most of the ladies I hang out with. A few of them would probably like to LoL.

As far as getting dates with the ladies, being professionally accomplished helps a little. And being fit and available to adventure is a big plus. But I think conversation skills, being interesting and respectful is what helps me the most.

Obvious-Course1720 · 2022-08-31T02:41:36+00:00

I’m a doctor and I do quick hookups with skinny female clients if they come with sandals on

throwaway2100869 · 2022-08-31T02:48:28+00:00

I would say it’s easy to get a date but hard to make it last in a relationship

Renshato · 2022-08-31T04:08:24+00:00

Honestly where I live being an engineer can actually be a hindrance. Software engineers especially have a bad reputation with most women in the area. It really depends on who your type is.

You won't get very far with people who are into music and art, for example. That being said, if you don't mention your job until you've gotten to know each other a bit better, especially if they've already been to your place and it's nice, it won't make a difference.

autoportrait · 2022-08-31T04:35:18+00:00

Since when are engineering jobs considered prestigious? 🤔

Shiv_Chauhan · 2022-08-31T14:23:52+00:00

Nonexistent 🙂

only_eat_lentils · 2022-08-30T16:06:57+00:00

None of those jobs are really prestigious except for Doctors and Engineers and even then only certain subsets (Specialty Doctors and Software Engineers working at FAANG). No one cares about some Civil Engineer making $80k/yr. Bartenders in my city make more than that and don't have student loans.

salty_RPh · 2022-08-30T22:17:30+00:00

Same crap lol Just go overseas

gameofloans24 · 2022-08-31T03:57:07+00:00

I'm a "real estate guy". Some girls fucking HATE landlords.

I've started telling girls I rent dogs to horny dudes for a living lmao

noctifer_lucifer · 2022-08-31T04:57:41+00:00

test

morechris · 2022-08-30T19:45:02+00:00

Lol what about nurses?

Delicatestatesmen · 2022-08-30T21:29:37+00:00

I get punay daily.

pietroetin · 2022-08-30T19:10:34+00:00

Chemical engineer here at an understaffed company. It is non-existant. I miss free time.

BulletReaper · 2022-08-30T19:17:54+00:00

I recently changed professions from chemist to engineer. Definitely notice more matches and messages then before. Annoyingly though my profession is in software engineering so some girls immediately think “computer geek” even though I’m highly athletic and surf.

grito94 · 2022-08-30T19:19:02+00:00

Software engineer here, I just got out of a 4 year relationship. I managed to get with my ex before finishing college so it doesn’t really matter, plus she was not into materialistic things. I think it definitely gets people interested when I say im a SWE but other than that you have to have game.

Agreeable-You9777 · 2022-08-30T19:53:00+00:00

24 year old chemical engineer here. I just fool around with as many girls as I can. Go on as many dates as I can. Have fun as long as can until I’m in my 30’s. “Dating” to me is being with one girl and only one girl until I find my wife. I’m not trying ti have kids but def want a wife. That’s hard to find a woman who doesn’t want kids so I’m waiting as long as I can until being exclusive to one girl.

Ephemeral-lament · 2022-08-30T20:02:01+00:00

As someone breaking into the legal field, people assume i am a gentleman that has good manners and is flushed with cash. I am not! I am still that piece of shit i started uni with and unemployment has destroyed me. So yeah…..

MeWuzBornIn1990 · 2022-08-30T20:11:12+00:00

I’m a geologist who’s been working in a civil engineering-related field making the same as a civil engineer and I never felt like that was a benefit or even a factor when it came to dating. Dressing well and having a good, physically fit appearance overall is the biggest and most crucial factor.

MMOfreak94 · 2022-08-30T21:35:49+00:00

Engineer here. What's that? Is it edible?

DucaMonteSberna · 2022-08-30T22:52:38+00:00

UH? Engineer and professor here, nothing changes much, some women have a nice " really?" excclamation that gives me 2 minutes comversation when they discover I'm a teacher, but after that not much changes

Dr-opinion · 2022-08-30T23:03:33+00:00

Med student was horrible and now it’s worse lol well now it’s better but it’s difficult find a girl after seen a lot of patients

Mauerstrassenheld · 2022-08-30T23:07:12+00:00

RemindMe! 2 Day

tyrant23 · 2022-08-30T23:13:25+00:00

Not great; too busy, not much money during training to be a doctor. Good icebreaker though

ProCoDAthlete · 2022-08-30T23:26:16+00:00

Mine, and it's not open for new hires

Suitable_contact4910 · 2022-08-30T23:56:04+00:00

No. It's terrible.

Arachnid1 · 2022-08-31T00:10:54+00:00

I don’t talk about it. Just say I’m in medical, wound care if I have to get specific. I don’t want that distorting things at all. Not why I want to be liked

mingo437 · 2022-08-31T00:18:04+00:00

Ive mostly had success with other lawyers recently in life

GalacticLunarLion · 2022-08-31T00:49:53+00:00

It isn’t.

pdx4nhl · 2022-08-31T01:00:32+00:00

Prestigious public school teacher here…probably hurts more than helps. Student loans and a used Toyota Corolla only gets you so far.

d_pock_chope_bruh · 2022-08-31T01:06:27+00:00

What dating life? 😂

Repulsive-Fee393 · 2022-08-31T01:10:58+00:00

Accountant here, absolutely zero action throughout my career, opened up a cafe and boom instant numbers and hookups, cafe fell off because I’m spoilt, I didn’t like standing there selling coffees for £3 at a time when I’m used to doing a hell of a lot more, I like the money accountancy has to offer so I shut down the cafe. My advice, moonlight as a bartender, the dynamic changes as soon as you’re on the other side of the counter.

dynamicly · 2022-08-31T02:04:24+00:00

I’m in consulting and when I tell girls “I do software consulting” I can see it in there eyes that they find me more ‘attractive’. Do I think it’s the main reason girls have slept with me? No but it has definitely helped me secure women of higher caliber

trele_morele · 2022-08-31T02:04:25+00:00

It's good. You are not your profession (at least I hope you aren't)

shaunerr · 2022-08-31T02:50:44+00:00

I’m a 23 year old businessman who has done fairly well for myself. Dating game is ok, just once the girls realize you make money their amount of excitement goes up a lot. Which then gets me turned off, may never find a wife lol

Wise_man6009 · 2022-08-31T03:34:00+00:00

Civil Engineers here.

None existence

gornad96 · 2022-08-31T05:01:48+00:00

I can only say that being a computer/software engineer is terrible for the apps. That's my experience and most of my friends. Replace it with consultant (software consultant) and you're doing better already.

TexRetroTech · 2022-08-31T08:05:52+00:00

I am a professor at a US University. I have been pretty lucky in that area but I think other factors were much more important in that area.

MakeItGain · 2022-08-31T09:01:33+00:00

I'm a mechanical engineer. Most women think I am a car mechanic when I say that.

The term engineer has been watered down so much these days with so many people using the title.

Unless you are a janitor a job title isn't suddenly going to get you women lining up around the block. We are a very educated society, a lot of people have degrees and qualifications. It's just something that helps but won't make a massive difference in my opinion

climaxingwalrus · 2022-08-31T09:33:39+00:00

Why would you even put engineers and businessmen in the same tier as doctors lol

adamparkar12 · 2022-08-31T09:58:23+00:00

i am software engineer but my pick up skill and dating life sucks even i earn 200k. Girls will only look for six pack abs and which car you have.

bluemagic010 · 2022-08-31T10:08:03+00:00

I don't have the energy to be a fuck boy 😅 or intend to be one and disliked dating apps from the get go. As an Engineer my job takes up a lot of my time so I had to learn to use it wisely to find the time for what's important (hobbies, friends, family and ideal partner). Dating preferences are focused on people who share my core beliefs but learning to identify that has taken time and getting to know myself especially when I noticed a lot of my engineering friends where give or take 30 but very single and treating the idea of marriage like an engineering project that has to be done by a certain time or procrastinated until urgently needed 😅

Cosmic_Duck_ · 2022-08-31T10:45:35+00:00

Well it isn’t not about dating life only, as a vet, people treat me as if I was an angel who can do nth wrong and who is pretty rich too (im still fresh grad 24yo), it kinda annoys me because im an average human being who goes through depression phases sometimes, and i have a pretty dark side, as a conclusion, people do like me genuinely but they don’t perceive me the way I am which sometimes makes me feel as a hypocrite

Background-Ad-8687 · 2022-08-31T10:45:45+00:00

I'm a musician 23m. Dating life is definitely in the top 5% of my age ( probably when most dating occurs). Have a job enough that pays the bills.

Dress well, be charming and passionate.

Selvane · 2022-08-31T11:46:33+00:00

Non traditional law student - Law school is a competitive beast which leaves us with little to no free time. Of the students who are dating, it’s either a relationship from law school, or a relationship from before law school. For the rest of us, it’s non-existent since we are generally so busy and/or struggle for some unknown reason.

For context, I am a tall pretty attractive man, but just don’t have the time. Any of my cold approaches are usually someone already in a relationship, and dating apps work to an extent, but I’m picky on those lol

Educational_Soup8845 · 2022-08-31T11:59:44+00:00

I'm just a resident but I would say it's really good. I'm in a college town and don't really have interest in a serious relationship at the moment but in terms of hookups I'm able to keep a steady rotation of 3-4 girls. I'm sure dating would be no problem if/when I try. Not sure how much of that to attribute to my career tho

Hamburgler212 · 2022-08-31T12:25:48+00:00

I got hoes in different area codes

TheHeroSaitama · 2022-08-31T13:02:22+00:00

I work too much to have time to get to know someone and create a genuine connection, money is cool, but meaningless if you don’t have the time or energy to use it, and that particularly holds true in relationships!

NotARealCop · 2022-08-31T13:14:11+00:00

I'm a veterinarian. My dating life starting off in school was a nightmare due to needing to study. I met my wife in school and we were just friends. When we actually started dating it was over summer break, but as soon as school started our dates consisted of take-out and studying.

School definitely limits your ability to go out and explore, but the most important thing for any grad level professional is a healthy work/life balance. If I hadn't already been married at my first job I would never have had the time to date around.

idriveawhitecamry · 2022-08-31T16:31:01+00:00

I'm an engineer. I think it definitely helps. I look like I would be in a frat, so when women hear I am in engineering you can see their eyes light up.

dheidjdedidbe · 2022-09-01T01:14:38+00:00

Non existent

ResponsibleSeries411 · 2022-09-05T11:34:02+00:00

I am a nuclear ingeneer and my dating life is almost non-existant. Nobody care of your "prestigious job" when a drug dealer make two time your salary and have time to chase every girl in the city

TheMissingIngredient · 2022-09-08T18:17:01+00:00

The answer to this will vary greatly dependent upon gender. Sad, but true. Often these professions are seen as green lights for men and yet for women? Too many men in my experience and my female colleagues' is that men self-eliminate from your pool because they are either intimidated, feel inferior/inadequate, or mostly in my experience---have already made their mind up that no woman that 'high up' would want anything to do with them. The last one is my most frequent experience, and it is absolutely mind-boggling.

GoldCoast92 · 2022-09-11T01:38:53+00:00

I'm in the medical profession, pretty high up. Not single, but am with a solid 9/10 blonde by most standards.

I guess it helped with Tinder.

My opinion after being in the game for a while to be considered 'moderate-high value' you need at least 2 of the 3 things.

Good Career Max 3 points
Be attractive (tall, handsome, good body) Max 4 points
Charisma (Empathetic, but firm, have some balls) Max 3 points

This is a HUGELY oversimplified.

I know many in my field who have a good career. But they are unattractive & lack charisma. No success at all.

If your total score is above 6-7 you should have no problem with women.

Title	Doctors, lawyers, professors, engineers, businessmen, what is your dating life like?
Author	Reasonable-Software2
Upvotes	447
Comments	453
Date	August 30, 2022 3:13 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/x1lnqu/doctors_lawyers_professors_engineers_businessmen/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/doctors-lawyers-professors-engineers-businessmen.1250943 https://theredarchive.com/post/1250943

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