Why therapy doesn't work for men and trauma dumping clarity

Bikerbats · 2024-02-23T18:57:54+00:00

I'm going to have to disagree with this. I'm everything you described above. Thrill seeker, ex-military, biker, etc. I benefitted mightily from therapy even if it was court ordered anger management after a literal bar-room brawl. Don't knock it until you've tried it.

dontouchmybutt · 2024-02-23T14:56:05+00:00

I can see why many men say that therapy does not work for them, but I do want to add some education and context on therapy. For starters, the article you reference of men getting less benefit from therapy is from 1978. There have been so many new types of therapy since then. "Talk Therapy" is not just venting and an emotional exchange. There is Solutions Focussed Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Psychodynamic, Interpersonal Therapy, and so so so many more each with their own view of how to treat a patient and each with better outcomes for different types of presenting problems.

A good well educated therapist will find ways to engage men in therapy in a ways that best meets their needs. For example, focussing more on behavioral activation (i.e. setting goals for increasing physical activity and addressing barriers and using motivational interviewing to help guide clients towards a readiness for change) or maybe identity focussed and helping clients understanding what masculinity and being a man means to them and how to feel secure and strong in their identity. Maybe they work on reframing negative patterns of thinking and practicing ways to slow down your thoughts and learn to notice and not be attached to certain ones. Personally, I love focussing on identity work (Which is similar to your point about purpose and focussing on that!). There's also been recent research on walking groups engaging men in social connection and reduction of depression. I'd love to see more people doing activities in a therapy setting as talking is not always the key to healing.

Trauma dumping and complaining happens in therapy, but if it is all you are doing, I highly recommend a different therapist! As the demand for therapy goes up, there are more therapists, which means there are also more bad therapists unfortunately. There is also a ton of very recent great research on understanding how men have symptoms of anxiety or depression that look very unique and helping clinicians understand this! Also there is an entire division of the APA called the Society for the study of men and masculinities!!!

Soloandthewookiee · 2024-02-23T15:45:40+00:00

I hate this "therapy doesn't work on men" bullshit. All it does is discourage men who can benefit from therapy from seeking therapy. Yes, therapy works on men. No, it is not a magic cure-all that will solve all your problems. No, you may not get the best therapist on the first try. That doesn't mean it doesn't work. All this is is an excuse to bitch that society doesn't take men's mental health seriously because when the obvious solution is suggested, you can scream back "THERAPY DOESN'T WORK ON MEN!!!"

The line between trauma dumping and venting may seem blurry, but the two are different.

They are quite different, but not blurry at all. If you are expecting your partner to take on all your trauma without handling anything yourself (see: "therapy doesn't work on men"), you are trauma dumping. If you are sharing incredibly deep, dark issues with someone when the relationship is not at the appropriate stage, that is trauma dumping.

As for men not complaining, that is such bullshit. Men complain constantly, you just don't see it as complaining. Reddit is filled to the brim with men complaining day in, day out.

KayRay1994 · 2024-02-23T15:27:44+00:00

I think there are two major issues with your post

1) it assumes that therapy and going to the gym/working on something are somehow contradictory. They’re not, to to the gym, find a hobby that allows you to release whatever energy you may have, find and stick to whatever purpose you may have, and go to therapy - in fact, any competent therapist will tell you that working out, physical activity and finding purpose are good things and extremely important to your mental health and personal well being.

2) there seems to be a fundamental misunderstanding of what therapy is, and i frankly dont blame you for this since most therapists are bad at their job, and therapy is sold as a golden bullet to your problems; ie. you go to therapy and you’re fixed - fact is, effective therapy isn’t about having somewhere to vent or just talk, it’s about understand why you feel the way you feel and how you can effectively process these emotions and deal with it things that trigger said emotions. A good therapist will partly hear you out, but also question you and try to figure out why you process things the way you do, whether the way you’re processing things is actually healthy, and lastly, the therapist will help you learn how to process things in a healthier way - in other words, a good therapist is more akin to a coach than a fix all solution people have been sold, or as someone to trauma dump or vent to as you describe.

Now, i do want to add, while I entirely disagree with your take on therapy I do understand where you’re coming from and why you might have the conclusions that you do. Lots of therapists are shit at their job and therapy is sold and pitched as a fix all solution and is often watered down from what it actually is - there is still a lot of talking involved, but if the talking results in either

a) no action

b) aimless venting

then either the therapist is shit, or you’re in therapy for the wrong reasons.

Realistic-Ad-1023 · 2024-02-24T02:12:43+00:00

If you think men don’t “vent or complain” uh… they love doing that shit. You ever seen a racist man go on a tirade? The men in this very sub constantly complaining about women? Men who do nothing but talk about how they hate their wives and hate their jobs? Men who complain their coffee isn’t hot enough, their shirt shrunk in the dyer, Greg from work is getting on his nerves, and traffic sucks. Men gossip just as much as some old lady’s do. You ever been in a group of grumpy men before ? Just because you see their complaints as justified and women’s frivolous, doesn’t mean it true. It’s just a different perspective.

I disagree with your assessment here. I think talk therapy works less often for men because they’re socialized differently - sure, but in very particular ways. How often do you talk to a man and he readily changes his mind when presented with new information? Even here, all the cherry picked results to support their foregone conclusions and everything else is a “lie.” You yourself throughout the comment section have yet to challenge your own thinking that “men benefit less from therapy” and translating that as “therapy doesn’t work for men and so we should have a different, better outlet that doesn’t work better for women.” But it’s the best, most research based treatment we have. Why does “women have better outcomes” have to equal “not for men?”

Also, it’s not either or. You can do those things to find purpose and go to therapy to question your beliefs, look inward at how you’re contributing to your own unhappiness or not being proactive with ways to achieve the life you want to live.

Men can find it difficult to be challenged and thinking they’re wrong. Criticism hits men harder. I have read several men in this thread alone who have exploded over the very idea that their point of view is wrong in any way. That their experience is not The experience. That they may be contributing to their own issues in life. Men have fewer coping skills and instead of feeling disappointed or hurt, they just feel anger - the only socially acceptable “emotion” that for some reason isn’t considered an emotion when discussing who is the more emotional gender. Men complain through anger and women through sadness. It’s the same emotions underlying just expressed differently.

Women process their emotions while men shove them down. Women engage with therapy earnestly, because we are socialized differently. We are taught early on about emotional labor, spotting toxicity, and making ourselves better to be better suited for life. We are more social, build larger communities, we’re forced to have a better grasp at acceptable social decorum, and are more compliant. We don’t get the “boys will be boys” excuse when we act up. We’re considered sassy or bossy, high maintenance or bitchy.

Men are socialized to buckle down, power through, instant gratification, individualism, never have anything threaten your masculinity (toxic masculinity) by being wrong or weak or sad. So men go into therapy believing it won’t help, (they’re can’t be wrong) do not engage earnestly (“they know everything the therapist will say, what good will it do?”), and then quit when they don’t see immediate results. (Hashtag not all men, but obviously for the ones it doesn’t work for, we have to look into why and societal expectations play a big role in that.)

Therapy is seen as girly and “too progressive” for most of the men in this thread who believe therapy doesn’t work. We have data the world over that shows why they believe what they do, why they’re taught what they’re taught and why a certain worldview is wrong or harmful. You’ll find therapists who aren’t like that, but they’re usually wrought with unethical treatment, conspiracy therapies, and fear mongering. But this sub loves that shit. So when someone pushes back on that ideology, they see it as an attack on not just them, but their entire worldview. And changing someone’s worldview is a very difficult thing to do.

tldr; men don’t like to have their (toxic) masculinity challenged, think they know it all, lack accountability, don’t put in the effort to engage meaningfully in real and lasting change and that’s why therapy has slightly worse outcomes for men. (Not all men but typically men like the ones here, who believe therapy doesn’t work and a bunch of other really weird RP crap.) It’s not your fault if you’ve felt this way in the past, but it is your fault if you get stuck in it. No one and nothing will magically fix your life for you. You have to go out and fix it yourself - with help.

(I’d like to just clarify - again - not all men. And not all women. There is no magical monolith of men and women who all have X characteristics and y characteristics.)

TRTGymBro · 2024-02-23T15:55:42+00:00

Saying that therapy doesn't work is like saying that medication doesn't work. Well, what kind of therapy and for what purpose? There are many schools of therapy and the majority of them can be pretty ineffective. What you describe as talk therapy is probably just psychoanalysis which has been long abandoned as an approach since at least the middle of the 20th century.

Also therapy for what? What problem are you solving exactly? You don't need to solve your childhood trauma to be more confident with women if that's what you are getting to. Talking about your problems is not therapy. It's just venting. It may make you feel better momentarily, but it doesn't resolve the irrational beliefs and maladaptive behaviors that may be preventing you from being successful romantically.

Safinated · 2024-02-23T15:36:09+00:00

Men say they’re not free to express emotions and thoughts

Well, what else is therapy if not a protected place to do just that ?

PMmeareasontolive · 2024-02-23T19:26:07+00:00

Having come from the thread about logic, and having read many debates on this sub, I feel like men are capable of catastrophic failures in their attempts to find meaning in their lives by deploying (oftentimes faulty) logic. A therapist who could point out what kinds of thinking are unproductive, and what kinds are more suited to one's goals, could be invaluable to men. Just coming up with some sort of rudimentary, basic sense of identity helps with feelings of belonging, meaning , and self esteem. Which in turn can make on more confident and capable. I think the idea of purpose can evolve from having a solid sense of self worth, identity, belonging, and those things can emerge from talk therapy.

Another point; I think men tend to suffer from isolation in regard to expressing feelings comfortably and safely. Having a relationship (and the therapeutic relationship is just that) with another person who holds them in (nearly) unconditional positive regard is a way of modeling positive relationships with others and a good catalyst for change for men who may not experience that otherwise.

snackerfark · 2024-02-23T15:44:06+00:00

I've been in and out of therapy for several years to treat my condition, so here are a few thoughts and reflections from my experiences.

For men, traditional modes of general talk therapy are usually temporary fixes to what can be deeper-rooted issues based in things like negative feedback loops, traumatic events, etc. It's where the old adage of "Women talk face to face, men talk shoulder to shoulder" probably comes from. Actualization, I think is a key component of men forming a sense of purpose and meaning from and beyond their pain. One can argue whether it comes from nature or socialization, and I think it's a bit of both.

Going off of the examples you mentioned, many instances of trauma have somatic effects in addition to solely psychological ones, meaning that they are stored in the body and not just in the mind. If someone feels endangered because of a past incident, the body will respond. That means that you can't just talk and rationalize your way out of that thought pattern or reaction when you perceive danger, but men respond better when they have to act it out and feel it as well. We're not quite socialized to understand our emotions through verbalization as well as women are, I think, and that means that we have to express ourselves through the body a bit more.

There are modes of therapy that get into this, thankfully, and I've found them useful in healing before. Somatic-based therapies, EMDR, exposure therapies, and other similar ones underline the physical experiencing of emotions where one connects feelings with body sensations. For example, you focus on what parts of your body change when you are feeling a certain way or are being taken back to a traumatic memory from your childhood. For me, this has been immensely helpful in identifying my emotions better when I notice how my body is changing so that I can figure out what is happening.

I think these sorts of modalities can offer a lot to men who aren't getting much out of therapy, but the problems are that they are not as commonly available compared to ones like CBT or regular talk therapy. Some men, too, might find more comfort in working with a male therapist, and there are not as many in the field, either.

Lastly, regarding your point about trauma dumping: there's a quote that I really like about saying too much all at once. "If you don't heal from what hurt you, then you'll bleed on others that didn't cut you." I agree that people who use terms like "emotional labor" to characterize such moments are being disingenuous and use these words inaccurately and lazily. But one can draw a line between giving one's partner too much to handle in a given moment and not saying anything at all. The more we are able to identify and understand our inner worlds, the easier it will be to communicate about them to our SO.

Spyro7x3 · 2024-02-23T16:49:29+00:00

Therapy doesn’t work for anyone I’ve never once irl seen any improvement

optimuscrymez · 2024-02-24T01:57:37+00:00

Therapy doesn't work for men because the world expects results from men, not half-baked coping strategies to "turn that frown upside down."

As Glenngary Glenn Ross succinctly put it: nice guy, I don't give a shit. Good father? Fuck you. Go home and play with your kids.

VoltairesBarista · 2024-02-23T19:32:42+00:00

Therapy worked for me, can’t see why it wouldn’t work for other men that want to improve themselves.

Nellylocheadbean · 2024-02-23T15:03:07+00:00

I don’t think therapy works for everyone so I understand how it doesn’t help men. Men having a purpose will definitely combat a lot of the mental issues that they deal with on regular basis.

The question is how does an average man find purpose?

Maybe there should be more programs created for young boys where they can have mentors to help shape them to start thinking of their purpose. A big problem is young boys are doing worse in school nowadays compared to young girls. I think that’s where a lot of men’s mental problems begin, in school. Older men would have to step up to encourage young men/boys.

If an adult man doesn’t have a purpose his best bet is to find other men that feel the same way and maybe they can find purpose together as a community. Having community can arguably solve a lot of today’s mental issues amongst men & women.

Over sharing depends on the person you’re sharing with.

If a woman is requiring her man to be a personal body guard/mechanic/electrician etc while she doesn’t do the female equivalent for him then no it’s not fair. Women are just ok with it not being fair because they’ll just leave when for the man , they’ll typically put up with the unfairness.

PiastriPs3 · 2024-02-23T15:44:21+00:00

I think it needs to be actionable and there needs to be a social aspect to therapy as well. I think If I was a therapist who wanted to appeal to young men, I'd probably have half of my therapy sessions at a private gym or a sports centre. So we can be discussing things whilst bonding over sports and having a health outlet to de- stress because talking about deep trauma can be anger inducing for men and cloud ones thoughts, so sweating our that cortisol will help.

I dont think women and men can ever understand the specific issues either gender face, or distinct ways we cope with our demons. Personally, I've had pretty bad experiences with discussing my issues with former partners. Women don't understand the male experience and how we process pain. And most women have subconscious contradictory or regressive expectations about masculinity that does not help in these situations. I think talking to like minded men is probably the healthiest way to deal with trauma as a man, whether that is an elder or a friend whilst only giving out trickles of information to women. Enough to inform her that you're going through something, but not too much information where she'll suspect you're not handling it as well.

FromAuntToNiece · 2024-02-23T17:15:19+00:00

There are very practical problems with therapy for men:

1) It's not free at point of consumption.

2) Only work-related therapy appears to be insurable. Women don't understand this detail. I doubt that attachment therapy, in particular, is insurable.

It's pointless going to therapy in your 30s. Even if you're earning six figures, you still have a spending fork in the road between therapy and socializing, because socializing events aren't free, either.

It's pointless going to therapy in your early 40s for the same reason.

Therapy isn't affordable for the whole upper 10%. Maybe it's affordable virtue-signalling for the upper 5%.

If more and more women outearn men and insist on men going to therapy because they don't like so-called "toxic masculinity," then perhaps make women pay for free therapy for men.

(This would be like the original systemic racism of Social Security. Systemic sexism for free therapy may be needed.)

CraftyCooler · 2024-02-23T17:17:16+00:00

My wife sent me to therapist because I was stressed with my job - I've managed to stay there for 2 sessions and I've quit. I am not sure if such empty talk about nothing can help men with real problems. Maybe women benefit more - for me it was just a waste of time.

Soul_vaccine · 2024-02-23T18:27:08+00:00

My experience is it made my relationships with women in my life worse because all the sudden I was empowered to say things like. “That wasn’t nice” or “I don’t like the way you’re talking to me” or in general I felt empowered to share more about my feelings which for some reason always causes problems.

In a lot of ways I think it frustrated the women in my life that I was all the sudden looking out for myself and not so easily manipulated. Or they were just not prepared to do any of the listening.

I think men need therapy. However, nobody should expect the world to become enlightened just because you are. You are gonna get called names, people will judge you for not being the perfect picture of masculinity as is defined by the zeitgeist.

SecondEldenLord · 2024-02-23T19:38:54+00:00

As a man who went to therapy 3 times, here is why it hasn't worked for me: 1. The therapists answered my questions with questions, they enver offered a proper advice or solution. 2. They just pretend to listen and understand and yet in reality they don't, especially if you are a man 3. Often times men get blamed for their mental issues. The therapist will never say that society is at fault or that the women who rejected you in awful ways were awful. They will always say "maybe you do something wrong and you don't realise it". I personally got told to "man the fuck up" by the therapist.

AreOut · 2024-02-23T20:11:57+00:00

why women say that therapy works is that they assume attractive man with psychological issues can't maintain a relationship

in that very specific case yes, therapy might work

SmallSituation6432 · 2024-02-23T20:45:44+00:00

two things.

Therapy does not qualify as trauma dumping by your own definition because a professional has the training necessary to not " feel overwhelmed or emotionally exhausted" So characterizing therapy as trauma dumping is incorrect, though it may be true that men in therapy consider it to be trauma dumping and the professional is not able to correct that perception as well as for women. If that is the case, it needs to be addressed.

Just saying that men naturally act out their emotions rather than talk about them after the premise that men are conditioned from an early age to not complain or talk about their emotions doesn't follow. How men behave occurs after that conditioning, so the fact that men do act out their emotions doesn't necessarily mean it is natural, because it is predicated on men having the conditioning. The result of this is that an argument that we need to change how we handle men by accounting for them acting out their emotions (which you do not explicitly state but seems implied) is not necessarily the only or the best course of action. We could also take significant necessary steps to stop the conditioning taking place.

Assuming a man has the skills of an electrician, plumber, mechanic and can carry things and be present expecting men to contribute in the ways the competently can is not unreasonable, at least to me. Only professional therapists can competently contribute to emotional therapy, so you are asking women to perform something they cannot do.

SignifyingNothing5 · 2024-02-23T21:19:40+00:00

I'm a big proponent of therapy. It helps men and women pretty equally when they seek therapy and work on their issues by keeping an open mind and being really present in sessions and by doing further reading, assignments, skill practice, etc. outside of sessions.

If men can't see this or do but won't take advantage of therapy, then the mental health community is failing those men. The larger culture that subtly and not so subtly reinforces the "masculine" ideals that are barriers to men seeking the help they need and giving it a chance to be helpful.

Some of the OP's takes on this are both representative of a decent # of men and maddeningly uninformed. And it's not the OP's fault. He's responsible for his life and his outcomes in life, but if a method of improving his life and outcomes isn't seen by him or isn't appealing to him, the methods and/or the way they're presented need to change.

Legitimate_Type_1324 · 2024-02-23T21:21:44+00:00

I need action, not a safe space to vent. Venting needs to lead to solutions.

just_a_place · 2024-02-23T16:26:58+00:00

Therapy is the biggest and dumbest scam since palm reading and seances.

There is one organization that has technically been doing therapy for 2,000 years, and FOR FREE! It's called the catholic church, and they call it confession and unlike "therapy" there is no stigma or a certain reputation attached to it.

"Therapists" simply took the Joker's words of advice to heart: "If you're good at something, never do it for free."

LillthOfBabylon · 2024-02-23T15:19:13+00:00

The problem with men not going to therapy is, then they want to complain about the negative consequences about it. For example, they want to complain that women’s issues are taken more seriously, but if you just want to deal with your problems yourself, what do you expect? People who ask for help are more likely to get attention than those who don’t.

The other problem is guys looking for free therapist amongst their families. If the problem is so great, that the family can’t help, then Therapy is the better option. People have their own lives, they don’t have time to play a free therapist.

MyHouseOnMars- · 2024-02-23T14:47:34+00:00

Do you guys think AA meetings don't work either? Because it's the same mechanism

Geselshaft · 2024-02-23T14:44:19+00:00

There seems to be no research on this but the reasons experts say about male social stigma and conditioning of males from an early age to not complain about anything.

"Experts" = man haters blaming men for the failure of the "experts" religion.

The experts are therapy religious people, and treat therapy like a religion where you go to confession to seek absolution. They even have the same lies about privacy.

This whole "social stigma" nonsense needs to end. This is just attacking men from an oblique angle and saying men are failed women. Which is BS.

If anything women are failed men.

This whole males are conditioned not to complain about anything is rubbish. What males are told is not to go to pieces and become an emotional trauma dumper over things like a baby bird falling out of a nest, or throwing a tantrum because mommy won't by him chocolatey sugar lump cereal at the store. Or being a big boy and getting injected with some Pfizer VaxxJuice.^tm

It's called being an adult, which little girls aren't taught. They're taught to be daddy's little princess and that they can cry all they want at the sight of a butterfly.

As there is not expectation they become adults (blame the patriarchy if you want) then why would they have anything where they have to face reality?

Telling your son to stop crying because the injection is over, and to be a big boy and get a lollipop isn't perhaps the best thing, but it does teach a child to act appropriately in public and not go to pieces over silly things. Save it for real things.

Women may have the privilege of sitting on their assess and emotionally falling apart in the office, but that's because they aren't pivotal to anything. They have cubicle jobs that frankly don't require "work". The amount of women that have jobs where breaking down crying kills people is minimal.

When Bill down at the plant who is in charge of checking the steam loop to stop an imminent explosion which will cause the reactor to go critical; he can't be sitting on the floor crying like a girl who saw a wounded butterfly and neglecting his adult responsibilities.

So women remain failed men. Feminists clearly believe this, because that's why they always push for zero femininity, the destruction of the family, destruction of marriage, and to work in the factories and businesses like a man. Personally I'm in favor of all this, I just wish women were adults about it and stopped acting like entitled children.

So, to summate, little girls need to be treated just as brutally as little boys into the harsh world. So they have to tools to not become little socially anxious children in adult bodies.

This whole change in child raising in the last 100 years doesn't work. It makes weak children who are immature until 25 these days. In the past, children were treated like little adults that needed to become adults ASAP. Fair or not, fields had to be plowed, clothes had to be sewn, cows milk, or businesses managed.

You see that in western countries at immigrant owned businesses where they have whole families working in them. children are running operations that are responsibilities miles above western children.

Now if you ladies feel insulted, blame your feminist friends who also think you're failed men.

But there is no stigma other than someone not acting like an adult, and therapy is designed for low intelligent children (ie: women) because in the end it's a money making business you're being conned into needing because you're an emotional cripple who never learned to handle reality.

purplish_possum · 2024-02-23T15:22:28+00:00

Paying someone to listen to you bitch seems rather pathetic to most men. I'd probably want to punch the therapist in the face after five minutes.

If a guy is stressed he should go out into the woods and kill something (with the appropriate hunting license) -- then rip it apart with a big ass knife.

Killing one of these would make any guy feel good about himself.

https://i0.wp.com/houstonherald.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/11/Super-Pig-WEB-1.jpg?resize=1024%2C540&ssl=1

And he'd be doing the environment a service since these are invasive and destructive. You can be a good progressive and a caveman at the same time.

Realistic-Ad-1023 · 2024-02-23T23:36:16+00:00

If you think men don’t “vent or complain” uh… they love doing that shit. You ever seen a racist man go on a tirade? The men in this very sub constantly complaining about women? Men who do nothing but talk about how they hate their wives and hate their jobs? Men who complain their coffee isn’t hot enough, their shirt shrunk in the dyer, Greg from work is getting on his nerves, and traffic sucks. Men gossip just as much as some old lady’s do. You ever been in a group of men before ?

I disagree with your assessment here. I think talk therapy works less often for men because they’re socialized differently - sure, but in very particular ways. How often do you talk to a man and he readily changes his mind when presented with new information? Even here, all the cherry picked results to support their foregone conclusions and everything else is a “lie.” Men find it difficult to be challenged and thinking they’re wrong. Criticism hits men harder. They have fewer coping skills and instead of feeling disappointed or hurt they just feel anger - the only socially acceptable “emotion” that for som reason isn’t considered an emotion when discussing who is the more emotional gender. Maybe girls have a wider array of socially acceptable emotions, but men and women feel emotions and express those emotions just as often as the other. But where women will say to someone “I felt really attacked when you said that I was trying too hard.” Men will just get angry, maybe storm out or say nothing until it explodes out of him later on. Women process their emotions while men shove them down.

MagnetoEX · 2024-02-24T03:41:30+00:00

None of those links prove anything you've claimed. Correlation does not equal causation.

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The30shardtimes · 2024-02-23T14:59:50+00:00

Therapy is just manipulation of men. Just feel the chair with me. How fucking stupid.

CasseroleTruck · 2024-02-23T15:56:39+00:00

I guess I never got the memo about not complaining. I'm complaining and bitching constantly online and offline. It's for the most part benefitted me IRL, obviously not so much here lol. I think men are rewarded for being vocal or aggressive about their grievances tbh. I feel like I do it in direct and honest ways though...I don't do shit like smile at people and then go write self-important yelp reviews or call customer service or whatever.

throwawayeyeglasses · 2024-02-23T17:11:24+00:00

What other alternatives work according to you? What do you think a guy should do if he wants solutions to his life problems and mental health issues?

Hrquestiob · 2024-02-23T19:51:13+00:00

I’d like to see a more recent citation on gender differences in response to therapy. I imagine therapy practices have changed quite a bit since 1979

thisreallyisnotok · 2024-02-23T20:22:34+00:00

Trauma dumping is a result of sexism. Women often feel compelled to be emotional caretakers when in reality they should be establishing firmer boundaries about what conversations are ok or not. It’s not hard to say “hey I think it would be better to have this conversation with a professional.”

But often the reality is that trauma dumping contains ancillary criticism that the listener themselves feels guilty of and that’s the actual reason why they aren’t participating in the conversation.

I don’t agree that venting has to be mutually shared negative experiences, but just that the listener is an active participant in the conversation.

Capable_Phase1997 · 2024-02-24T00:32:12+00:00

Simply put, therapy has to accommodate each gender way of processing emotional information and to teach a divergent way of handling to each gender.

Here's the secret, quit caffeine for two weeks and practice good sleep hygeine(excluding people who are already on substances or mental illness) and you wont need as much therapy, because when the brain goes through all phases of sleep, it has the ability to process the emotional information from your waking hours better than any therapist or psychologist.

bas3dfa1ry · 2024-02-24T01:04:50+00:00

therapy didnt “work” on me either so i guess therapy doesnt work for women we should just get rid of it then

wheartv · 2024-02-24T19:45:30+00:00

The default psychological setting is to be more feminine

I don’t think most therapists understand men or want to or want to help them become strong men

Expensive-Tea455 · 2024-02-25T00:02:54+00:00

If you don’t feel like therapy works for men, then why are you placing expectations on women in your life to be your free therapist then? 🌝

Title	Why therapy doesn't work for men and trauma dumping clarity
Author	thedarkracer
Upvotes	19
Comments	309
Date	February 23, 2024 2:39 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1ay20x2/why_therapy_doesnt_work_for_men_and_trauma/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-therapy-doesnt-work-for-men-and-trauma-dumping.1246208 https://theredarchive.com/post/1246208

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