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[–]henlofr 104 points105 points106 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I survey the likes. Any dude who dared like the pic, or worse commented something like “🔥🔥🔥”, receives a DM of me intensely staring into my camera, barking at them.
[–]DisturbEDx02 21 points22 points23 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
ALPHA AS FUCK
[–]the_root_of_all_evol 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is the way 😂
[–]disavowed 1015 points1016 points1017 points 4 years ago* (78 children) | Copy Link
Oh christ, it's no wonder you guys need help. Real talk. If your girl posts to social, she's getting messages sent her way, always. Not her choice, it's just how thirsty douchebags operate. If you ignore her, she'll start talking to them. If you get defensive, she'll start talking to someone who isn't a little boy about her. Talk her up, like the picture, be a fucking man, and trust there's a reason she's with you. If you suspect there are ulterior motives behind her posting it then break up with her and move on. At some point you need to remember that she's an individual and not everything she does centers around you. If you can't handle that, again, do her a favor and just break up.
And yes, for your information, if she's posting a picture to social it's because she's looking for attention and validation—that's not always about cheating or pleasing other men. It's often more to do with her feeling her look and wanting to flex on other women, realistically.
[–]elliottrackhe 57 points58 points59 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Why do you frame it as if “oh my god I can’t believe you even asked this?” My guy, not every dude gets the privilege of growing up learning what to do in these circumstances, and we are on a subreddit to help guys who don’t know what they’re doing for Christ’s sake!
[–]disavowed 62 points63 points64 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
That's...actually more than fair and really important for me to keep in mind. I kinda started running off at the mouth and wasn't thinking. Apologies to OP et al., and thank you, u/elliottrackhe for checking me on that, for real. It's important and I will work to do better going forward.
[–]TommyGotAJob 16 points17 points18 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Very mature response. Good on you dude
[–]FatSecrets123 11 points12 points13 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Respect to both of you guys. It’s so nice to see this on social media 😂
[–]Cucharamama 343 points344 points345 points 4 years ago (25 children) | Copy Link
As a woman, I can’t stress that last part enough. 90% of the time, I dress up/take pics/ do my nails to flex on other womenn because we really be judging each other like that.
[–]Chrisanova_NY 170 points171 points172 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Wow, not too many women can admit to this.
Respect.
The excuse/denial is always, "I do it for me".
[–]PuroPincheGains 114 points115 points116 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
"I do it for measingettingabunchofattentionmakesMEfeelgood"
[–]Tk1Genius 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
how do you guys edit this stuff
[–]ksm6149 12 points13 points14 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No editing, they were just falling down a well
[–]n0wmhat 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
^ ^ Makes text smaller on mobile, not sure about on desktop
[–]Tk1Genius 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
oh. well i'm not a mobile user, sir.😅
[–]Cucharamama 43 points44 points45 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Honestly, sometimes I dress up even if I’m staying home all day. So occasionally it is really just to make me feel good.
[–]ebell1989 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I feel goofy every time (not many) I do this. Lol idk. how folks do it.
[–]__Gynotarian__ 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lmaooo finally someone admitted it
[–]ZealousidealFile1 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This so toxiccc
[–]ArtofWar2020 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Every girl gotta have that 10% Thot tendencies
[–]Slav3k1 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Wow, flex on other woman. You are really judging each other like this? I guess guys kinda do that as well, but in a different way. No offence intended, just asking genuine question.
[–]modidlee 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Women HATE other women. That’s what’s so laughable about the whole “sisterhood” “yassss queen” stuff
[–]Cucharamama 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Depends on the woman. Not everyone but I have a few toxic friend groups/family members that def judge
[–]modidlee -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Keep this same energy when you see guys say women don’t even like other women then
[–]Cucharamama 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
?? Never heard a guy say that. Plus guys can be competitive af with each other too.
[–]modidlee 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Every woman I’ve dated, married, been friends with says they really don’t like other women in general.
[–]Cucharamama 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Yeah but you said “keep that same energy when you hear guys say women don’t like other women” I’ve never heard a guy say that nor do I care.
[–]modidlee 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
basically what I’m saying is when you see guys say women don’t even like other women don’t deny it because you’re in here actually confirming that women really judge other on superficial things like looks
[–]Cucharamama 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Who says I deny it?? And like I said, I’ve literally never heard a guy say that besides you right now, and even if he did, I don’t really care??
[–]modidlee 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
we’re going in circles because you think I’m personally talking about you. I’m talking about women who will deny that most women don’t really like other women. Women I know actually say they prefer talking to men more than women. But here on the internet, aka the frontlines of the gender war, women deny that they actually feel like that irl
Whatever, dude.
[–]Mriconicdev 10 points11 points12 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
100% facts here. The sooner you accept this understand this as a man the sooner you’ll have peace.
[–]ExquisiteGrowth 40 points41 points42 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
^ correct.
[–]Pluglord 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Great response
[–]small866 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I can agree to some of this if we’re talking in the sense of repetitive questions being casted towards the girl of her intentions over minimal shit. I don’t really agree with the part where you say “if you get defensive, she’ll start talking to someone” though. As if that’s law and she’d be in the clear to do so. If someone is being badgered over little shit in a relationship to the point insecurity is dragging you both down, break it off (as you said but is easier said than done) and go on talking with whomever you’d want. Just from my personal experience in the past, I’ve had girls I’ve been in relationships with and had them post blatantly obvious thrust traps online. Prompting dudes to message her (which as you said happens regardless) and me getting defensive. You can look from the outside in and say “breakup” no problem, but if you’re in a relationship with someone more often than not you want shit to work out and you’ll at least hear the bs out to try and make it work. I wouldn’t expect her to cover up or not post, I’d want a girl to feel sexy or whatever she wants and I understand for some females in the day and age it’s normal and social media is used for them to feel good about themselves (which I think is stupid af honestly but if it makes them happy I’ll put up with it within reason). In my case I was lenient and just wanted make her happy, ultimately she responded to one of these dudes on her thirst trap pics and I got cheated on. That’s my own personal experience, and I know that’s not all girls on this planet. Just as I know this type of thing isn’t unique to only girls doing stuff like this.
All I’m saying is, I think there’s a thin black and white line with that defensive part. I think it comes down to the person posting ultimately knowing what they’re trying to achieve. Looking for the attention and validation, but at the same time understanding just how far they want that attention and validation to go and knowing whether or not they’re waiting for that right person or response or combo of both and their willingness to entertain. And the defensive part, yea I agree on if it becomes too much to break up. But that’s easy to say from the outside. I don’t think all the blame can be casted on the person being defensive if they feel their partner is fishing for anything like I said above, and naturally I’d say most in a situation like that would want to understand why or let their partner know how shit like that makes them feel. How they come across in saying that is different across the board and may sound better or worse in certain instances. Ultimately if it becomes too much I agree, break up. Sometimes it’s hard to have that insight though.
[–]Roxy175 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
As a woman, 99% of the time when we look hot and are trying to impress someone, it’s to impress other women, not men. I do it for myself and other women only, men are easy and like everything.
[–]creamyturtle 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
....and get a bunch of skeezy messages from men to boost her self esteem
[–]Cyrus_the_Great98 16 points17 points18 points 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Sure there are many ways you, as a man, could maneuver around it, but a respectful woman in a loving relationship shouldn't be posting thirst traps to get attention from dudes that aren't you.
[–]disavowed 12 points13 points14 points 4 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
I know where you're coming from, and my knee-jerk reaction is to agree with you, but to do so would be to assert that we know the actual motivation behind why she posted it. We're assuming the picture is meant to be a thirst trap by default because it's really hard not to make everything they do about us in some way. We can never fathom that maybe the motivation is pure. That's not their problem, that's our own insecurities talking.
Again, in that case, if you're really that unsure of yourself and your girl, just break up. Who needs the aggravation?
I look at it like this, if I post a picture on fb and my girl goes off, grilling me about my real motivations, I'd shut that nonsense down in a minute. Imagine someone you care about fabricating a ridiculous narrative out of thin air which casts doubt on your loyalty and your respectability simply because you posted a picture. Is that overreaction something you'd feel responsible for, or would you logically tell them to stop being so childish? Better question, is being made to feel like you did something wrong for posting a picture on fb and capitulating to their unfounded nonsense fabrications really a precedent you'd want to set in a supposedly trusting and loving relationship? Not for me, that's got disaster written all over it.
On the reverse, I think it's important to pay that same respect to her if/when I have that knee-jerk reaction. That should signal it's time to start putting irrational feelings in check. Insecurity and a lack of trust will for sure ruin the relationship sooner or later. I mean, I'm always on the lookout for suspicious behavior, I just don't think that in and of itself justifies flying off the handle.
[–]Cyrus_the_Great98 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I agree, but as a man I don't go posting shirtless pictures on my socials, and if i do it's for the gym (which I can admit to myself I get validation from)
No man is an island unto himself. Humans cannot have "pure" motivations, we are still instinctual animals. We all make these same decisions and judgments hundreds of times a day, we're all familiar with each other.
So more often than not these suspicions or micro assessments you make are correct on some level even if you're not able or allowed to articulate it, which is my point: we can all see what you're doing.
[–]disavowed 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That's fair and correct I think. We aren't singularly satisfied with validation from our SO any more than we're singularly satisfied by validation from our parents, our bosses, our teachers, friends, or any one else. We feel like the more validation, the better. That's why social media exists to a certain degree. It literally just happened to me with the top post. I showed back up to like 600 upvotes and yeah, sad as it is to admit, I was like, "oh wow, people like what I said!"
It feels good, because exactly like you said, no one's an island. We like our peers liking us. Does that necessarily mean that if your girl posts a picture cause she's feeling herself that she's automatically looking for salacious fulfillment, or is that more just a by-product of women being on social media? We might say "we can all see what you're doing," but as men, we think like men. Is it possible that what we really mean is, "I can see what's about to happen" and then we conflate the two? I don't think their seeking validation on social media with a picture is generally any more of a smoking gun to cheating than any other post. I think we're hyper-aware of how men think and work and that sets off these micro-assessments in our heads and while I'm never not gonna keep an eye on that, it's more about knowing what it is I'm actually reacting to, and it's mostly just about not trusting the men. But that's a key distinction. Is it her I don't trust or is it men? Not gonna lie, until she makes a move worth checking, I think it's largely just the men that make me uneasy in that situation. But should that preclude her from getting her personal validation like we all do? Shouldn't I start at a place where she gets the benefit of the doubt until something proves to be amiss?
Not everything is black and white and the reasons we do anything are endless, but for me, it's also exhausting just assuming the worst about people – especial the woman I love – in every single situation. As I said earlier, if I really felt I couldn't trust her, it's not a relationship worth staying in.
[–]Cyrus_the_Great98 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Indulging in validation alone is already an unhealthy habit to exhibit, for you for me and for them. Sexual validation is worse, because it commodities what should be sacred and bends our minds towards even greater indulgences.
"Feeling herself" is more often than not just an excuse to chase this sexual validation. Guys do it too, it's just that the male body is so worthless or dime a dozen that nobody really cares, its hardly a waste if it wasnt worth much to begin with isnt it?. they can see what we're doing, and they dont care because nobody cares about us to begin with. (this is one of my weaker points, we can think it over later)
But morality isn't really gray, it exists on a line from left and right and we all share it - we just have different contexts that shape what we desire. Men and women exist in different contexts, but react the same.
So a man can actually look at a women and assess her personal desires based on her actions even if hes never lived in her shoes - because she's a human just like the rest of us. The same goes for women and men, the same goes for anybody and everybody. If you know the root of our morality you can trace anybody back to their intentions.
The question is, do those intentions bother you?
[–]1738_prince 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It’s pretty much the norm though. Can’t expect too much
[+]Electronic_Range_982 -6 points-5 points-4 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Exactly She is just this side of cheating...just one DM away Insecure or no . If you're Ina relationship take the stuff down . You wanna ex on the chicks ...post YOU with you MAN . Because 90% of the.females worrying about clout ain't got a man and about 70% of them r just hook ups because MEN don't don't want that stupidity in their life. .
[–]disavowed 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
If you honestly feel that way, then dump her. If she's just this side of cheating, then she always was. Cut ties and move on. You're not gonna yell your way out of her cheating on you if that's what she wants to do. But then, that reaction doesn't really imply you trust your woman inherently anyway, and that sounds miserable for you no matter how loyal she actually is.
[–]Cyrus_the_Great98 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Why would you trust women to begin with. Serious question.
If you're willing to confront your own humanity, you know the bad you yourself are capable of. Women are the same, except they're elevated to a position where society erases their inhibitions, they don't HAVE to be good people to get along; they can post all the thirst traps sleep with all the guys have all the onlyfans and people will praise them still. So why trust them at all?
In general, the type of woman who would want validation in this way will chase it, and they will fall down the slippery slope.
[–]disavowed 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Well, why would you trust anyone to begin with?
C'mon now. I mean, I sorta get a portion of what you're saying, but dude...no one gets away with more extreme bullshit more than men. Think about the conversation we're having right now where most of the guys in here are dragging hypothetical women for shit most actual women realistically don't do, and if they do, the only people excusing it are the men, and then only to the degree that we're getting off on it as well.
Women certainly don't cut each other slack most of the time, that's for damn sure. They talk a good game about lifting each other up, but they also talk a gang of shit about each other when they're out of each other's earshot. It's brutal.
And I have to push back on the idea of society washing over their inhibitions, too. Like, not really, right? I mean, this is a classic example but if I sleep with 100 women, I'm the man. High fives all around. Zero shame, all pride. If she sleeps with 10 men, she's not only a whore, she's shameful and filthy, and that's even before people start questioning the biological constitution of her genitals. It's a double standard rooted in puritanical nonsense since this country in particular was founded.
As men, it just seems like super convenient for us to have it both ways, whereas, at some point women had to seemingly just throw their hands up and go, 'fuck it, I don't care what people think'. As you say, I do think about all the scandalous business I've been involved in, so how can I realistically get snooty when my female friends want to enjoy that same freedom?
I'm not saying I'm cool with my girl going out and cheating, certainly not. I'm just speaking generally about women leveling the playing field for themselves. Generally, I don't think that in and of itself makes anyone a bad person per se, it just makes us all human.
And building trust is hard, if not impossible for some people. We do our best, try to find that right person and it's still statistically not gonna work. But I think that's why cheating is such a hair trigger, it's always the worst because it's a direct slap to that trust. It's not easy to find in most people, but I hope you're able to someday. It's really worth it.
[–]Cyrus_the_Great98 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Except the playing field is already tilted so far in their favor. Think about it dude, we worship them. We have all these rooms and discussions talking about how to catch them that we have to hide from the light of day or theyll shun us and that's the end of the world because they control us.
why are you here, to figure out how to get women? On r/seduction.
They don't need these things. Look at how any girl talks about sex versus how guys, they have it all the time and it's normal for them. Guys don't, thats why it's an achievement when one has a lot, because if a woman likes you you're worth something.
Thats what I'm saying man, that women are on this pedestal in society that both kills men in suicidal droves and simultaneously destroys the female sense of morality.
I agree, men are just as capable of evil. But they don't have the power in this society so they're much less likely to be awful. Through struggles they're forced to cope and endure and respect the lines that makes them into greater forces in a morally defunct world.
So yeah, don't ever completely trust anybody, but I'm much more likely to find a trustworthy man than a trustworthy woman, and red flags for both sexes are solid indications of not being worth it.
This is not a healthy view of life, but this is the way we collectively see it on a subconscious level because it's reality.
[–]MrCapricorn404 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Goated response
[–]ForYourSorrows 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I read the OP and with dread clicked in to the comments hoping and praying the top comment was something like this. Thank fucking God.
[–]Mog_Melm 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
it's just how thirsty douchebags operate
Can confirm. Source: Am thirsty douchebag.
[–]Positive-Cloud5975 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
THIS !!!
Men really think women post pictures for MALE validation and attention. Lol no We do this for validation and attention from other women … and it ends up boosting out self esteem because women are just nice and girlfriends can really hype you up
[+]StereoFood -8 points-7 points-6 points 4 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
Uh ok…this is not the end all be all everyone. She could very well be looking for dudes to DM her. Don’t assume you just “have to be a fucking man” about it. JFC talk about toxic masculinity. Sometimes, you gotta ignore it, but sometimes you gotta put your girl in check, not everyone has to bow down to girls doing whatever they want all the time if it disrespects your relationship
[–]DrEndGame 16 points17 points18 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
*claims being a man and building up a woman to have her feel good about herself is toxic masculinity….
…. Thinks that “putting your girl in check” isn’t.
[–]StereoFood 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This isn’t about “building her up” if you want to lie to yourself and everyone else then sure, pretend that it’s ok for a girl to seek attention from other men and the shame the man for calling her out on it. There’s line between posting to feel good about yourself and posting for male attention and the latter is disrespectful to a relationship. Calling them out is “putting them in check” that’s not toxic. The manipulative validation seeking bs while dating someone IS toxic
[–]Cyrus_the_Great98 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Not everyone has to bow down to whatever girls do man. If my chick runs off and fucks another guy I'm not gonna "build her up" and "make her feel good" for doing it.
Same with posting thirst traps online. Sometimes its better to tell them that everyone can see what you're doing. Stop it.
[–]ItothaGO -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Username checks out....well said, my guy.
[–]disavowed 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I should clarify, when I said "be a fucking man," what I meant was don't be a child with your emotions. Respect her autonomy to post a picture of herself on fucking fb without having to fear what her abusive shithead boyfriend might completely fabricate in regards to her intentions, right before he "puts her in check" so she'll finally respect him. (Talk about toxic masculinity, indeed. Yikes, dude!)
I guess I totally should have said "be a fucking adult," but I thought I was talking primarily to men here, so my bad.
[–]r6siggednak 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
I've upvoted your comments so far because I share your way of seeing innocence in the world and in your girl. It is always more fruitful than guarded scepsis towards her. The first often leads to love and the latter leads to insecurity and jealousy.
However what you need to realize that sometimes a girl wants you to put her in her place. Its about a dance between the male and female. Can you see yourself telling your girl 'Hey! I dont like that. Don't do it.' and say it with confidence and self respect? Can you see the innocence in your proverbial self saying this, just like the innocence and acceptance you see in her?
I think some people got the vibes from your comment the increasingly common doctrine that actual cuckholds hold dear, that they are in fact the true man. You know, the rationale that goes "Yes, I let my girl have sex with as many guys she wants because I am a MAN and not an insecure little boy." Obviously this is not at all what you meant but this might be the cause of the misunderstanding.
[–]disavowed 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
Fair point, and if I've been misunderstood, let me clarify:
I am in no way advocating rolling over and turning a blind eye to your significant other potentially or directly cheating on you, either emotionally or physically. Absolutely not.
In the cases of cucks, where that's their get-down and everyone's on the same page and cool with it, whatever, your business is your business. That's not even technically cheating given "cheating" is the whole point of the kink—but either way, that's certainly not what I'm about personally
Back to your point, of course the dance between men and women is not only real, it's crucial at times. I was more or less giving the guy above me shit for trying to make me sound toxic while using some heavy-handed language himself. Did I know exactly what he meant? Definitely. But it clearly wasn't hard for everyone else to get what I was saying, so I felt like he was nitpicking to distract from the actual point, so I did some of that back. It was petty and it hindsight, not really that generous an interpretation on my part.
Anyway, yes, when something jumps out at you as potentially problematic in your SO's behavior, you should absolutely voice your feelings and do so without hesitation—especially if you give a fuck about your girl and your relationship. If it feels necessary, don't wait one minute to remind them you not only give a shit and that you're paying attention, but also, you're not putting up with bullshit.
I'm just saying, having been the guy that's jumped down her throat for posting a flattering picture of herself, and nearly fucking everything up because of what it inadvertently implied I thought about her, there are right ways and wrong ways to go about certain things. Posting a picture to a personal fb page is not often the same as texting someone and leaning away from you, or leaving the room to take a call, or any other clear indicator. Could it be? Absolutely. But it could also not be anything at all. That's one in particular that if addressed or questioned with too much gusto comes off as straight crazy and insecure.
Basically, here's the point. As men, we have a killer gut instinct that OFTEN serves us well, but when it doesn't, it can fuck everything up and then actually serve to create a problem where there wasn't one. The posting a picture on social thing seems particularly ripe for casting aspersions and making shit up, so when you feel that happen, it's usually just best to hold off on asking about it, or at least staying calm and going at it far more gently because even if you're right, well...good luck proving it in that moment anyway. But if you're wrong, it can irreparably change your course all because you couldn't manage your irrational temper. That's your woman at the end of the day, you know? You should always start with the benefit of the doubt for her or you shouldn't be with her.
Like I said originally, I know dudes reach out to her every time she posts a picture, and yeah, I obliviously know what their intentions are, but I have to then ask myself, is it her intention to get those messages, or is she getting harassed because she made the mistake of wanting to post a pic she likes? If I thought the answer to the former was yes, we probably wouldn't be together.
But so many guys take the position that I used to take, like, "well if you know they're gonna hit you up, why post it!?" and that's how we make it intentional in our minds, but it's like...oh, because it's your personal fb page and you should be allowed to post whatever the hell you want without getting harassed by random dudes—or by me. I remind myself, my problem isn't with my lady looking great in a picture, that's actually good for me. My actual problem is jumping to conclusions about her without anything more than a gut feeling as proof and then making her feel like she did something wrong, when in reality, of course she didn't.
I've learned you can keep your eyes open without starting an unnecessary fight. If it is a necessary fight, you'll have it soon enough anyway, right? Anyway, I'm rambling, but yeah, fair fair points all around on your part, for sure.
[–]r6siggednak 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You need to work on your brevity but I find what you write relatable and highly sympathetic.
I remind myself, my problem isn't with my lady looking great in a picture, that's actually good for me.
This is true, and having this mindset towards her social media is good. Beauty is wasted without a witness, being alone in getting to enjoy said beauty would be selfish, of course her friends deserve to see her too.
That doesn't mean, however that you can't tease her a little for it. Something along the lines of 'Whats up with that, is my admiration not enough, don't I make you feel beautiful?' If its said in a spirit of fun and curiousity rather than envy she might very well open up to you about it. No ulterior motives or hidden agendas to get her to quit. Just exploration in persuit of mutual understanding and love. (often times I find myself not understanding women or what they want.) Obviously this is a risk and could still backfire and be seen as an attack on her. Not that serious though and nothing a healthy woman can't forgive. But never taking any risks and being boring is something she will not forgive you for. Men, speak your mind, always. Your heart is way more innocent than you think. I am writing this as an instruction to myself mostly. But anyone is welcome to do the same if it calls to them.
[–]disavowed 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ugh, I know dude, haha, my shit is long wind as hell 😩
To the rest, I'd say largely agree, which was part of my point and you did a better job of it. Largely, speaking from someone who did a poor job of controlling emotions as a younger man, I just want to get across the idea that how you say something is even more important than what you say, especially when talking to your SO. Well said.
This is exactly right. He’s indicating that you always have to suck it up and not be a little boy about it. Sometimes being a man is calling a girl out on her bs. The commenter is implying yet again that girls can do no wrong. I. Agree that girls should be autonomous and allowed to post pictures but if your girl isn’t tipping toeing around that boundary for attention or to fuck with you then you haven’t been in many relationships cuz that happens whether you want to believe it or not.
[–]PuroPincheGains 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
She could very well be looking for dudes to DM her.
Yes that was covered in the comment, try reading better
[–]StereoFood 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
His post is black and white. Life is more nuanced than that. “If you suspect there are ulterior motives, then break up”
Why in the god damn fuck do you think doing that is going to be straightforward and easy to determine?
[–]TLu_03 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
What does put a girl in check mean?
[–]StereoFood -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Call her out on her bullshit. If she’s seeking validation online using thirst traps, it’s cuz u ain’t enough. If so, tell her to go find a man that’s enough for her.
[+]WiiWynn -22 points-21 points-20 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Interesting perspective. My opinion here is if she’s doing that sort of thing, she’s still shopping for a better fish. So I’d not consider us exclusive at that point.
Women make a shift at some point. Where they’ve decided the one they’re with is the ride or die. At that point, you’ll see more and more couples posts, and posts about how ‘her man’ is this and that. Look at your own contacts. How many of them have boyfriends but don’t share any media about it. And how many do?
The ones that don’t are open to cheating. I know because they’re always the ones that reply to my DMs. 🤣
[–]mistahARK 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You don't seem like someone I'd take advice from but thanks
[–]PuroPincheGains 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well you're wrong lol
[–]disavowed -3 points-2 points-1 points 4 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
Predictable perspective. So, right off the bat, I'd argue that as human beings we're always shopping for a better fish, in theory. Men do this too, just not in the same way. We're always trying to make ourselves attractive to the opposite sex, even if we're exclusive to one person. It's just built into us, we like positive reinforcement because we like knowing that we've still "got it" or whatever. However, to make the leap that therefore all women who post a selfie on social media will cheat on their partner at the first opportunity, and further more, if they don't post exclusively about their relationship status and continually mention their man in every post, they're signalling that they want to cheat, well...at best that's maybe a projection of how you've been treated and/or how you yourself behave within the confines of an exclusive relationship. At worst, it's an insulting blanket statement about literally half the people on this planet based on interactions with what, a few of them?
You're purposely arguing in bad faith when it comes to women while conveniently absolving men of any agency or responsibility for upkeep on their half of an exclusive relationship. You assume from the outset that women are the only ones capable of cheating on their partners and that the only remedy is necessarily (and publicly) casting off their own sense of individuality and independence in favor of absorbing their man's identity into their own. The alternative is just a clear cut case of infidelity-in-waiting, apparently. Because of course, as we all know, women cannot possibly think for themselves or act on their own, especially faithfully, if their heretofore incomplete personalities aren't rounded out by the level-headed logic of a man in their life. That's why there's not one recorded case of a married women ever cheating, I suppose.
Meanwhile, what are men (angels that we are) obligated to do to continually prove to the world that we're faithful, worthwhile partners? Anything at all? I suppose it's just a foregone conclusion, huh? Convenient!
Here's a better question: what role do you think a man plays in being cheated on in a relationship? Do we bear any responsibility or is it always just a simple case of malicious intent on the part of women? Just ponder that while I get to this next point.
How far are you going to go with the initial premise about selfies on social media being a red flag for infidelity? Let's say a woman has her relationship status clearly labeled as "in a relationship", you're saying even then she's signalling she wants to cheat? Presuming you've spent any real time in an exclusive relationship, do you extend that logic to her wardrobe as well? I'm guessing given how insecure you seem to be, she'd just never get to go out in public dressed up or wearing makeup again, right? So, do you just keep her locked in the house until you can get back to feed her and give her more water? Is she allowed to talk to other guys ever? I mean, how could you ever trust her if she did?
And that brings me to the real topic at hand: trust. You don't trust women, plain and simple. Which is to say that in reality you don't trust yourself to set your insecurities aside long enough to treat a woman with the respect required to earn her loyalty in the first place, much less her love. You couldn't fathom actually competing with literally anyone else who might drop into her DM's. So instead of working on yourself, you've become the thirsty douchebag I referenced in my first comment above (and proudly, I guess). You're the guy who sees a woman post a picture on social and you start actively trying to disrupt her relationship, which, given that you guys can smell your own, probably doesn't take a lot of coercing on your part. But the part you're failing to acknowledge is she's open to it because she's with an insecure douchebag who drove her toward another nicer-seeming insecure douchebag. And then you take advantage of that and turn around and blame the women? Well of course you do, to address her man's shortcomings and insecurities as the root cause of her straying might have the unfortunate side effect of forcing you to face your own, right? And anything is better than that.
You assume the worst of women so you don't have to admit that you're actually the worst of men. You make up all these rules and requirements for women so you don't actually have to follow any moral barometer yourself, and you justify the shitty way you treat them by reframing the treatment as a consequence of her actions—not for something she even necessarily did but for something you assume she's going to do.
One might normally refer to punishing thought crime as totalitarian in nature, but hey, these women are always up to something, right? Better to be safe than sorry, because you just can't trust 'em, so that's a good enough reason.
This logic is just a snake eating its own tail and your cognitive dissonance on your own behavior is troubling, to say the least.
I know this comes off like an attack, but it's really not, despite the overall tone. I also think I've heard all I need to hear on your position, so (please!) don't feel the need to respond. Just think about some of this shit. I've taken some liberties with some presumptions, but if they resonate with you, maybe stop and mull them over. I only bring it up because at one point in my life I also hated woman like you do, and I too would often purposely go out of my way to generalize and demonize women as a simple means of deflecting my own grossly manipulative and toxic traits, projecting back my own manufactured insecurities, and avoiding the necessary introspective work one has to do in order to stop being such a garbage person to half the people on this planet.
It doesn't matter to me what you choose to do with any of this, but I'd very seriously recommend just being honest with yourself for once and analyze what's actually motivating this gross way of thinking. Just for a little bit—because despite your laughing emojis, I know it can't be making you very happy at the end of the day.
Good luck!
[–]WiiWynn 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That’s a big wall of text with a lot of accusations. But clearly you were triggered to cast so much judgement from a fairly short comment.
I’ve got an unpopular opinion. But it doesn’t make it untrue. If your girl sent a private selfie to one man she didn’t know, I’m SURE that would be morally objectionable for the reasons I proposed earlier. Two? Still the same judgement. Four? Twenty? 100? 1000? Everyone that’s following her? The number of people who are viewing a spicy picture of her doesn’t change the logic or motivation behind the behavior. But you have to rationalize the behavior with an entire dissertation.
I don’t hate women. Nor judge the behavior. Some women are better at fighting primal urges than others. Some women are extremely self aware and are gems of human beings. But OP wanted to cast a wide net for opinions and that includes less than idealized ones.
[–]disavowed -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
lol k
[–]Crookmeister -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
A very simp type answer lol
[–]disavowed 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Edit: remember kids, respecting women means you're a simp now. I'm sorry, I don't make the rules.
[–]Westernleaning -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The part you’re missing is you’d better be in the pictures too sometimes because if you’re not she is looking for a bit more than validation.
[–]SnooPets1514 -3 points-2 points-1 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I've always been of this opinion also, but what would you do if you and your partner had been arguing for a day or two and then put up a scantily-clad bikini pic with like squinty eyes and a lip bite whilst she was away on holiday with her girls. I'll be real, that shit made me impotent for days and knocked me for six; felt so handcuffed. Felt like if I admonished her for it I'd come off controlling and push her farther away whilst she was on holiday and if I praised/complimented her for it: I'm a chump.
I went with a genuine compliment and said she'd looked good, which she did, but deep down I felt fucking awful and thought 'how could you do that?'
It turned me off her massively because I thought you're clearly doing that for attention.
[–]r6siggednak 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Being honest with a woman is a lot of fun. Having the audacity to always speak your mind to her is an attractive trait, even when its a negative emotion. Truth is beautful and you started out good. She looked good in the picture, that much was true, but its not the entire truth of what you saw and felt.
Once you were alone with her, you could have spoken your mind. Not for the sake of inventing drama just for the sake of expressing yourself and being genuine with her. You say you agree with his opinion of seeing innocence in the girl, great! Now can you see the innocence in yourself and your hurt feelings? Can you see yourself actually asking her 'How could you do that?' and not feeling the need to be ashamed of the hurt, only seeing innocence within?
[–]thunkyo 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank you aunty
[–][deleted] 127 points128 points129 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No response if you’re trying to “seduce her.”
Unless you’re exclusive, then I think you should hype the hell outta your girl with a nice comment.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]Mriconicdev 18 points19 points20 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lmfao, this is hilarious.
[–]jackzander 14 points15 points16 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Establish dominance
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
lmao genius
[–]Mriconicdev 47 points48 points49 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
A simple like will suffice.
[–]Tesojue 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The way
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
And a once a month or so cute supportive comment doesn't hurt.
[–]Live-Ad-6309 70 points71 points72 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Is she basically naked and clearly thirst fishing? Probably wouldn't be dating her.
Is it just a picture that happens to be hot because she just is? No problem at all.
There is a fine line between tasteful hot, and trashy hot
I'm fine with her posting a Pic from the beach in a bikini. Not ok with her posting a Pic from bed in her underwear.
[–]EnvironmentalRule525 28 points29 points30 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
My girl posts borderline “trashy hot” pics on IG pretty frequently.
Other than that she’s obsessed with me and checks off all of my boxes and then some. Best GF I’ve ever had.
I’ll bring it up at some point, but I don’t really care that much. At the end of the day I’m the one fucking her.
[–]Onyhx2 29 points30 points31 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Next thing you know you'll be subbed to her onlyfans
[–]mjornir 20 points21 points22 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
He’s her Only Fan
[–]Evol_Etah 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This dude be getting the upcoming PS6, and a whole ass gaming rig.
[–]stunkypissy 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
lmao my wife has an onlyfans and we pull mad money from that bitch...don't knock it til you try it
[–]SolarTortality 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
What’s your wife’s only fans? I’ll subscribe.
[–]EnvironmentalRule525 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lmfao. Getting pegged
Honestly, this is just a thing women do nowadays. There doing it more in competition against other women than they are for validation from other men. If the girl is checking all your other boxes, I wouldn't risk looking insecure or controlling by bringing it up. Like you said, you're the only one who's seeing everything.
[–]thenwhat 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It would be very interesting if you did ask her and posted the results here.
[–]curtis5689976 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
“Damn I’m about to tear that shit up tonight “
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]jackzander 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The only thing I feel when a girl I'm slamming posts a hot pic is 'fuck yeah, that's mine right now'.
Of course I'll like it. If you're not validating the women you're involved with, who are ya'll out there validating?
[–]yennybear888 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just ignore the pic…bringing it up sounds salty and will cause her to lose attraction. You’re impenetrable and can’t be affected by something as silly as a pic.
[–]SebastianPatel 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
what kind of pic did she post specifically?
Personally, I just like the post, and (if we are official) drop a cute comment or emoji. There's no point in trying to stop your girl from posting hot photos on insta. It won't work and you'll end up looking insecure and controlling. If she's chasing you and checks your boxes, just let it go and accept this is a thing people active on social media do.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]Cyrus_the_Great98 16 points17 points18 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm sorry man.
[–]mjornir 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
at 70k followers that’s just unhealthy clout seeking tbh, nothing you could have ever done to satiate that big of a need for attention. sorry mayne
[–]mjornir 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I think 1k-ish, maybe up to like 3k,?if they’re physically attractive you can plausibly say it’s just thirsty dudes and/or they’re popular. I think once you pass a certain threshold though it’s clear the follower count has become a goal in and of itself, 70k is well past that point
[–]mjornir 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Also to your case they easily could ignore the DMs anyway. If they just cave to the next best person that comes along (according to whatever shallow standards they have), that’s a personality weakness and the follower count only makes that possible, it doesn’t cause it. They were going to cheat anyway, Instagram just made it easier.
Sorry you went through that. It’s not because you were “out-chadded” or someone was better than you, it’s because your Ex was weak-willed and flaky and always looking for an “improvement” to whatever shallow thing she sought out from a partner. She will always be chasing the ghost in the hope that she can fulfill whatever gaping hole she has in her, and where she’s looking she’ll never be satisfied, if that gives you any peace or comeuppance.
In the long run you really will be better off because you’re the stronger, better person. And you can eventually be happy again. She can’t. She gets to be ran through and used up like she thinks she wants and then if she ever becomes self aware she’ll be miserable thinking about how she had someone who treated her well and threw it away.
[–]BouncyShroom 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Fair point, but there is almost no woman out there who's in her 20's without Instagram or social media. I'm speaking this from experience, in an ideal world she won't have social media but unfortunately everyone does.
[–]Davosssss 15 points16 points17 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Depends on the personality and age. If she's young then she's probably looking for validation only.
[–]NeatBeluga 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
And if not?
[–]jackzander 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Also looking for validation, but with lower standards
[–]Robofrogg1 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Tell her she’s got something in her teeth. Works like a charm.
[–]Sensitive-Permit-877 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You either get over it, leave or set boundaries about social media
[–]mookyvon 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Cringe cringe cringe cringe cringe.
She's not yours it's just your turn. See what happens when a higher status guy (blue check mark, tons of followers) slides into her DMs when you're not watching.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5SHr17YX5Y
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link
[–]StereoFood 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link
But why date a guy you’re with if you need validation and attention from people seeing your outfit or whatever on Instagram? What’s the point? I have no desire to need a social media profile now that I have a girl and I have no desire to show off other than on dates with her.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link
[–]StereoFood 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link
Totally valid. So what exactly is the difference?
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
[–]StereoFood 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link
Why does our affection not matter to them? Why be in A relationship with that person then? I would only date someone who I desire.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
[–]StereoFood 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
Ok then why am I satisfied with her affection alone? Should I post handsome pics on Instagram to feel even more desired? I don’t need to. And it would be so that others find me attractive which. I feel is Like cheating on my gf. Why don’t girls feel that way?
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]StereoFood 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
What would you do if your girl did that?
[–]Joncal17 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Id be the one in her comments screaming and pandering how hot she is.
I see no point in getting jealous over that. Shes my girlfriend, we expect respect from each other and thats all there is to it.
[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wow this whole thing is cringe.
[–]CharlesEchowave 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I used to date a girl like this, she like thrist fishing and similar shits, really get on my nerve and she basically tell me her body her rules. I think the best approach is walk away from the girl. My mental health improved drastically afterward.
[–]iLikeE 12 points13 points14 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I don’t date women who have a personal social media for this reason. It would be the same as me posting in grey sweatpants with the outline of my dick on social media. Why am I doing that? I already know what I have and I don’t need validation. I don’t need to prove anything to anyone. The only reason I would do that is to attract a woman who wants to be dicked down. It is thot behavior for someone to post risqué pictures on social media and simp behavior to allow it
[–]StereoFood 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This should be the top comment. Not that getting walked on bs. You either need to call them out if it’s obviously to attract other guys, or ignore it if it’s not a big deal. Most of the time it is, and they’re fishing for a a guy, a fight with you or they just don’t like you as much anymore.
[–]are_those_real 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
eh. I get the not getting walked on. I think the bigger problem is everybody is trying to make assumptions out of why they're doing it. You could just communicate and set healthy boundaries. Some girls like the validation but have 0 intention on cheating, some are just proud of their bodies, some just have the habit of doing it without putting in much thought, and some are out there making a brand for themselves and are luring horny dudes to make money off of them.
People use social media for different reasons. I personally don't use it because I like my privacy. I've dated girls that are constantly posting to their story because it's how they and their friends keep in touch with each other and they use it to start conversations and their girl friends are always hyping them up making them feel good about being hot and sexy that they get into the right mindset when they're going out with me. I've had some that have 0 online presence that had the most validation seeking tendencies and were very needy. One of them, the reason she had 0 online presence was because of her abusive ex who she ended up cheating on me with.
So communicate your boundaries as to what is or isn't allowed in your relationship. Maybe you can compromise, maybe you cannot, it depends on which hill you're willing to die on. If she's going to cheat on me she's going to cheat on me regardless of what she posts. If I don't trust her then that's a giant ass other problem I should deal with.
[–]iLikeE 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is a well tempered response and I agree with communication. I am very much of the mindset that I won’t date a girl with a strong personal social media presence especially if they are wearing next to nothing on it. I will sleep with her but I will not be serious about her. It is not an ultimatum because that would mean there was a choice otherwise. It is a complete nonstarter.
[–][deleted] 4 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link
[–]competitiveZpie 27 points28 points29 points 4 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link
The fact that you think a girl belongs to you so she can't post a "hot" picture LMAO "you are a king" just giving off insecurities vibe. Any male that thinks this is a boy not a man.
[–]gunluver 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
She's not yours,just your turn
[–]DonnyBomeneddy 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Haha I was going to post that!
The one-itis is strong in this thread.
[–]A-sop-D 7 points8 points9 points 4 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link
If it's your turn and she's respectful that picture won't be going online, nothing to do with ownership. Get off your soapbox, you're not fooling anyone. If she's posting that she's telling you your ride is over. Next her and spin more plates. This isn't rocket surgery guys!
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link
How could a girl possibly want nice comments from her friends and family when she has me??? Rreeeeeeeeee
[–]thefamiliarsound 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
yeah all those nice comments from her parents as she’s bent over with half her assh*le showing
[–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
So in your world Hot pic = full on porn ?
[–]thefamiliarsound 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
do you not have instagram? half the explore page is very close to porn
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
The explore page shows you profiles based on what you've been looking at. It's not the same for everyone. So geez, I wonder why you're getting porn.
[–]thefamiliarsound 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
my IG account is completely bare. i signed up for an acct, never followed any pages or anything. never even uploaded a profile pic. this is what was on my explore page
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Then it's likely based on what's popular around you. I just made one now, and the explore is not showing any porn. Just a lot of restaurants, coffee places and random profiles.
[–]FaithInStrangers94 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
How many women do you have shackled up in your basement?
[–]A-sop-D 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just your mom and auntie
[–]SgtSplacker 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No virtue in being yet another orbiter in a skanks feed. Of course all the pawns come here to comment their weak little pawn opinions and insults.
[–]SantoSturmio 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Comment on something random in the background
[–]SebastianPatel 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
lol this is smooth
[–]SantoSturmio 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
thanks 🙏
[–]ShadowFoxxx15 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Your best bet is to ignore it because if you say something you could be labeled as a jealous, controlling, verbally abusive boyfriend and no man wants to be accused of that
[–]1DarkDD 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I like my girl to be sexy and desired by all, but be only mine.
[–]RedPravda 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nothing lol
I do this but my bf likes to show me off so idk
[–]RED_DEAD_REVENANT 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Smile and say "that's my girl".
[–]reversedbydark 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Say nothing.
[–]Geaux 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Like, 5 fire emojis.
[–]slash03 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Let her know how wonderful and beautiful she is . Some people need this kind of affirmation more than others.
[–]Good-Phrase 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Attention-seeking and shallow. Probably not someone I’d be into dating in the first place. I’d probably just ignore it though tbh. I’m sure there’s enough guys giving her attention on there probably better if you’re not a fan like all the rest of them too.
[–]Alonso81687 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don't be thirsty. Like some, not all.
[–]lilbigguy412 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"what size are those?"
[–]10000ColdNights 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Pat yourself on the back, you have a hot GF. That’s it
[–]Ok-Artichoke-3730 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I asked my boyfriend this a few weeks ago because one of his friend’s girlfriends posted a very revealing bikini photo. He mentioned he’d feel really uncomfortable if I posted something like it (it wasn’t a stellar photo of HER, it was solely focused on her body — her walking away from the camera in a bikini, basically just an ass shot). I asked what he’d do if I posted something like that and he said “I think those posts usually come from a place of feeling like you need validation or like you aren’t getting attention and affection from the places you usually do. So I’d try to address that and make sure you feel like you’re getting what you need before I’d consider bringing up the actual post.”
There may be something you guys can fix or work on together - she may not feel like her emotional needs are being met (whether or not she realizes this).
After my bf said this I realized I’ve posted 0 “hot” or “scandalous” photos in the year we’ve dated. I posted LOTS in my past relationships, all of which were unhealthy and some excruciatingly toxic. He’s an incredible guy and makes me feel validated, sexy, and impressive every day, so I think I stopped turning to social media for that.
just curious but what does he do or say to make u feel validated, sexy and impressive every day? Is it just a lot of complements? Or what specifically?
[–]Ok-Artichoke-3730 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sexy: a lot of compliments, looking at me when I’m not realizing it, the glow in his eyes and bright smile when he sees me Impressive: he remembers all the little things I tell him about school, work, etc, and celebrates my little victories even more than I do. will send voice memos sometimes saying he was just thinking about how proud he is of my hard work and how badass I am for doing XYZ Validated: listening really well, giving me good feedback, but also making sure I have the space to talk about what is on my mind without feeling dumb, too chatty, or annoying
[–]TexRetroTech 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I would give it a like since that's my hot ass girlfriend yo! Lol
[–]jjboy91 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You don't have anything to say about that.
[–]Uoger 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Bypass all of this by ignoring your hormones telling you to reproduce with a female.
[–]drinktomeonly69 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
I’d like and comment something thirsty
[–]SebastianPatel 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
such as?
[–]drinktomeonly69 13 points14 points15 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I’d be like damn you fine as hell let me get your number . Stupid cute stuff I guess
[–]ur_notmytype 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Idky you’re getting downvoted this is what I see couples do all time
[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Cuz what he said wouldn’t even work in the multiverse, that line won’t work ever
[–]ur_notmytype 9 points10 points11 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
That line wouldn’t work if they’re were strangers but they’re dating which would make it funny
[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points-2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Ohhh I see I missed that part, still a lil cringey tho
[–]ur_notmytype 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Flirting keeps the relationship alive and doing it online probably give them a thrive because now the whole world could see it
[–]DonnyBomeneddy -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
"Hey baby you look hot, but not as hot as when my cock was in your mouth. "
For example.
[–]drinktomeonly69 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol I guess that works too
[–]marks1995 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She's addicted to the attention and validation she gets from her lurkers. I have friends (older milf types) that post pretty tame images and get inundated with DM's. To the point that most of them stop posting anything.
If she is posting hot pictures, she knows she is going to get a massive amount of attention from guys. With zero effort on her part. And that's a red flag for me.
Yes, I am old fashioned. But a woman should get the attention and validation she needs from her partner and/or friends. That's part of what she gets out of a relationship. I would actually argue that's one of the biggest reasons women get in relationships.
[–]mjornir 1 point2 points3 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Gas her up, she’s your girl after all
[–]DonnyBomeneddy 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I guess the first question is why are you dating a girl. Spin plates then you don't have to mate guard.
[–]SebastianPatel 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
spin plates? what does that mean, is this a concept from that one book?
Basically seeing multiple girls, one decides she's not into it, who cares you have others. It's a good way to live in an abundance mindset.
[–]DonnyBomeneddy 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm sure it's from a book, but I have no idea which.
[–]j_tothemoon 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Honestly I never do. Just like the photo. If you have enough confidence with the girl, you can try to share it directly to her and slide it into her DM but that's a little bit more advanced.
[–]Crooklar 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Who are you advertising for?
[–]Trudzzzz 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Depends on the type of photos. I would only date someone whose photos I approve of before before we're exclusive, so she doesn't have to change what she posts once we're together, and of she does we can discuss it.
[–]AngeloMacon -3 points-2 points-1 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
How long have been dating and is it "official"? It's a red flag regardless, but a real serious one is you guys are a couple.
[–]rabieskutta -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Go make me a Sandwich .
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If I’m dating someone they don’t need to seduce me, they already have - just pay attention and be nice. If you can’t be nice, be funny. If you can’t be either, have a big dick.
Do not ignore the people you want attention from - be kind, be clever, be considerate. People who ignore me get ignored. People who blow up my phone get muted. Matching communication is much more important than content most of the time.
[–]LONEWOLFF150 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Define "hot picture"...
It really depends. Some women can look hot in anything but unless she's purposely wearing questionably appropriate outfits that should be private to show off to potentially other men then that's where I draw the line and probably wouldn't be dating her to begin with.
I don't even date girls that are those cam girls (not only fans, regular cams on these dating apps where nudity is prohibited) because they are flooded with thirsty ass guys much less one girl that shows off everything she has online for every perv to save for later if you know what I mean. If she's posting really photos with appropriate outfits and she just so happens to look hot either way is fine. You'd be surprised though that guys will definitely still thirst like crazy over some girl in a nun outfit and will definitely FLOOD their DMs saying she looks hot and all manner of thirstiness. I recently matched up with a woman slightly older than me online saying that guys will like her photos on the dating app and go as far as asking for money or even a place to stay lol that's something else though. My point is even a plain woman will get plenty of cringe attention no matter what she is wearing.
[–]Just1more68 -1 points0 points1 point 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Run
[–]dchoop -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Comment “🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮” and don’t elaborate
[–]GerritTheBerrit -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I dont like pictures of women i have any sexual interest in. Only relatives or if shes really close to me.
Never like.
If youre not in her top ten be willing walk away (if she gets with the others), improve. Level up. So you dont have to worry about the concurrence before the actual game started.
[–]bodycount41 -2 points-1 points0 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Validate her with a like and have her suck your dick. Immediately.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
it depends, can you comment on it without radiating pittines and insecurity? then yeah sure. if not, you probably shouldnt unless you have a really good reason for doing so.
I'd brag, I have this 😁
[–]GorillaGlue89 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
She’s advertising to other potential mates is what a biologists would say. But if you’re dating her then you definitely have to say something.
[–]borearas 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you’re dating, she probably would appreciate if you put somethigg by simple as a heart eye emoji
[–]coindad007 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Never comment
[–]alexanderldn 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
dude like the pic and move on. stop overthinking
[–]LakeShow-2_8_24 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Comment the appropriate adjective to describe the picture and tell her how much you liked the post later when you see her.
[–]surfershane25 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
How would you want her to feel/react if you posted a photo where you looked really handsome?
Tell you to stop, take it down, that you’re trying to get other girls, end it with you? Treat her the same as you’d want to be treated, hype her up and have some self confidence or it won’t be your turn for long.
[–]ponyo_impact 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't use social media so I don't have this problem 😃
But for real you're only making it a problem because you want it to be.
Just simply don't do anything
[–]JoeyPeake 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"Where you taking me tonight qt ;)"
[–]Geo_wolf 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I do nothing. Guys, girls can post whatever they want, just as you can. Don't feel uncomfortable or jealous, it's just a picture on social media. Like the picture, compliment her if it comes up in a converstation or if you want to directly tell her. And post some pictures yourself! Woman like being able to see who they talk to and what that person is up to.
[–]drapermovies 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I usually just tell her in private that it looks good.
[–]ChurchofCaboose1 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It depends. Is this "hot pic" nudity? Cuz that's way different than someone being very happy with how they look in a picture and posting it. If it's not nudity, I don't care. If the intent she has is to seek attention, especially sexual attention, I'd probably ask her what's up.
Depends on the relationship also depends on the girl...I think if the relationship is still in early stages and the girl isn't secure about us I wouldn't do anything and wait for her to seek validation from me...usually my excuse is that I am not on social media much so I didn't see it but at that point she already wants me to see it and only then I give her slight validation...but if its like a confident woman than its a different story lol she wouldn't be posting much on social media anyway...
[–]AnthonyAValera 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
do what u want, u wear the pants in the relationship… but if u care about her, then let her do what she wants too. find the balance. if its gonna be a healthy long term relationship there needs to be equality of power. but if u dont care, abuse the fuck out of her so that she realizes ur the wrong guy for her so she can dump ur ass. lol. DO WHAT U WANT.
[–]PontusOfMars 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Dread game. If you're highly sought after by other women, that'll keep her in line.
To be secure enough in my relationship to know that posting good-looking photos on Insta is just a normal thing modern women do, and that me making a big fuss over it would make me look insecure and push her away. Hell, I'd even take the photos for her. So long as I'm the only one she's letting see everything, it doesn't matter to me. I'm not going to be controlling or insecure towards her.
[–]Tom38 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Comment on it if ya wanna assert dominance.
[–]Malimalata 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just ignore it unless its serious
[–]Point-Overall 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Unless the pic is almost nudity where she is in her underwear/lingerie, feed her ego and compliment her. Anything else like telling her it’s not ok and that she shouldn’t post hot pictures will just show her how insecure you really are and the relationship’seduction will go downhill fast
[–]joy_collision 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
"You look great baby, let me know if you want to go see a movie this weekend."
[–]caledonguy 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Depends on alot of circumstances. If your girl is a onlytoes model (i pimped a girl and made bank doing this a year ago) then its different than if your conservative 5'3 Christian gf did it.
[–]caledonguy 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
In general just don't give a shit or at least pretend you don't if you want to continue piping and you aren't planning to wife her. As soon as you get an opportunity, pull the plug and focus on your money grindset.
[–]frecklerat 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
say “daymmmm shawty u the most beautiful thing aliveeeeee” with a bunch of emojis that reflect how ur feelin
[–]bandsupjay 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Be scure in urself
[–]SolarTortality 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I am absolutely terrible when it comes to women, but if it is tasteful hot I wouldn’t worry about it. If it is trashy hot I’d have to have a conversation with her about how posting things like that is devaluing to our relationship. I’d ask her to agree to some ground rules about posts and to take down the picture I that deemed as trashy
Ground Rules:
1) Not being overtly sexual in nature
2) Be tasteful
3) Have fun
But I’d be mentally prepared for a breakup if the conversation goes poorly, because I would rather not be with her than to be with her while she posts trashy posts on the internet for all of our mutual friends to see. If she is doing that the relationship isn’t going anywhere anyways and the fact that she did do that is already a big red flag and you may be better off just to break up with her now if the post was excessively trashy... as if it was then she does not respect you and may cheat on you.
you guys are dating girls?
[–]Forsaken-Badger-6652 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My boyfriend always comments on every picture I post, talking about how good I look, etc. I love it ❤️
Personally I just ignore commenting or replying on the pic if it’s a story. I would just like if it’s a post.
What you could do is maybe tease flirt if it’s a story tho and you feel the need to say something
[–]misoka_ 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Whatever other dudes say is just appreciation,idc much
It really doesn't matter, unless you consider it for more or less than it is :)
[–]epicharlie12 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You failed when you started following her
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