What are the young women who date significantly older men are like?

VanillaSkyPie · 2021-11-11T02:13:35+00:00

When I was younger, I was drawn to a lot of older men (early 20s looking at mid 30s). I did not naturally fit into the usual life of college students, was more introverted and wanted a mental challenge. All the men in question turned me down at the time, presumably due to the fact that I was like a kid to them. For me, it was not at all gold-digging as I planned to do that myself. To this day (mid 30s), I still find many of my good male friends are 50+.

SouthernGrass3 · 2021-11-11T04:01:11+00:00

The common threads Ive seen:

-women who had a tougher time socially

-high anxiety

-low self-esteem

-prone to escapism and fantasizing

-mental health or trauma history

(Obviously doesn’t apply to everyone, but as far as patterns, this is what I’ve observed)

simeneta_two · 2021-11-11T02:01:11+00:00

I have one friend who’s been in a relationship with a guy 15 years her senior for the last 5 years (starting when she was 23). She is as Atlas correctly described “an FSM outsider”. She never dated in high school or college (lost her virginity to a different guy than current bf right after college), has a fairly “masculine” personality and thought process, introverted and low key. Physically she’s slightly overweight with an average face (I actually think her bf is the more attractive one as he’s a 6’4 bodybuilder).

Also she follows the same phenomenon I’ve mentioned before where she looks much older than she is while her partner looks much younger. So she’s 29 but could pass for mid-30s while her partner is early 40s but could pass for mid-late 30s. If you saw them together on the street you would have no idea there’s a significant age gap between them.

I’d say the above describes what a non-wealthy guy could get if he tried dating someone significantly younger ie someone who’s overall average looking for their age and doesn’t have a typical female personality. The guys dating attractive young women are usually rich.

Taipanshimshon · 2021-11-11T03:15:04+00:00

They are all different. Because they are people

AlfredTheGreatest · 2021-11-11T03:53:59+00:00

People on this forum have a very inaccurate view of how women end up with "older men." Usually they are just looking for a guy generally and meet a guy they like that is whatever age. They look around at what's available and realize this older guy is a good deal and then there you are. The type of women that dates an older guy is just a woman that meets an attractive older guy when she is available. Nothing much to it.

towerofcheeeeza · 2021-11-11T03:51:52+00:00

A lot of them are just women who have dated immature guys. High school and college dudes can be really dumb and immature, so some girls go for older guys because they want a change. Not all girls who date older guys have daddy issues or trauma. Some just had a high school boyfriend who they found annoying. I will say that a lot of those friends then end up swinging back to dating someone their own age when they realize that the older guy has different interests and priorities. One of my close friends was like 22 dating a 40 y/o and he was nice and all, but eventually it just became really obvious how far apart they were in terms of life experiences and whatnot. Now she's back to dating someone her age.

xQueen-Bx · 2021-11-11T01:42:04+00:00

FSM outsiders usually, like most non conformist women. thats why normal women are always claiming they dont know any women who do X. no, they dont

cccccclairee · 2021-11-11T04:15:31+00:00

I’ve often wondered that about those women. Don’t they want to be around people their own age?

I never dated anyone long term who was that much older than me, but in the short flings the compatibility was not good because of life stage and priorities. This was me at 27 vs them at 38 though. I feel like that’s a different kind of gap than 21 to 31.

2021-11-11T12:39:57+00:00

Unless we're talking about the very top tier of older gentlemen (celebrity sex symbol tier or close to that), those women are usually of lower SMV compared to their peers. And so they solve their reproductive problem by capitalising on men's affinity for younger women, which obviously is a fairly powerful selection criterion.

While they might find it tough competing with women their own age, they'll have a way easier time competing with older women. In that market, their SMV will be contextually higher, and so they get to pick amongst higher quality men (all things considered) than they otherwise would amongst their own age group.

It's not a bad strategy at all. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that for any woman out there struggling with dating, romance and all that stuff, this is number 2 on the list of things to try to improve your situation. Number 1 is of course self improvement (if you're fat, then don't be, and all that jazz). But if you're still having a hard time, try upping your maximum age range by another 10 years, and see where that gets you.

SaBahRub · 2021-11-11T17:05:04+00:00

When you’re surrounded by confused and childish college grads, competence looks super hot

wheelsonmeal · 2021-11-11T02:04:00+00:00

Going to get a lot of shit for this but here goes with an outrageous claim.

Note this from my own experiences and reflections on my own relationships.

Young women who go for older men. Sadly:

They will have some kind of sexual trauma or, a history of neglect and or complex ptsd of some kind. A good amount of them will have some kind of eating disorder or substance abuse or phone/gaming addiction.

They may cover it up with being very sociable, friendly, funny, accommodating and loyal but have outbursts. They may never tell anyone about their suffering but will very often suffer chronic health problems both physical and psychological.

Many will self harm directly or indirectly by rrepetitivly seeking out dangerous situations or dangerous spouses.

If they manage to try and heal, they almost always start seeing people similar to their own age

I dont have a huge sample size but that has been my experience.

Sekina7 · 2021-11-11T02:14:42+00:00

Let’s just say they are either shrewd business women, naive wanna business women and /or traumatised women. Or they just have a kink.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2021-11-11T02:52:21+00:00

Met one.

She was very mature for her age (like basically took care of her siblings etc) and he was very childish. So I think they ended up meeting in the middle.

But honestly now that we're all nearing 30 it doesn't matter anymore. Used to raise eyebrows when we were like 21 though.

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-11-11T05:39:19+00:00

The only couple I've ever known with a major age gap was my dad and stepmom (15 years, I think...she was 21, he was 36). He abused her, and she had entered that relationship without any sense of independence. She stuck it out until my siblings were grown because she didn't think she'd be able to provide for them herself. She worked but was always forced to give him all of her money.

I never knew how bad it was until after the fact, but I could see he treated her like shit and was always encouraging her to leave him. She just felt too trapped.

AreOut · 2021-11-11T08:02:05+00:00

the fact is that most men are extremely immature until they hit 30, if a girl wants a serious LTR(believe it or not there are even 20 year old girls who want that) her best bet is going for a 30+ guy who has his life sorted out

some girls want to have fun even until they hit 40, some girls want to settle early, people are just different I guess

_HEDONISM_BOT · 2021-11-11T11:01:23+00:00

My ex, 2 exes ago (NOBODY JUDGE RIGHT QUICK 😑) was 17 years older than me.

He was boring. He had erectile dysfunction and then he wanted to try all the shit he saw in porn but then made me feel like a hooker for wanting to fuck in a car, in the woods. This one time, I walked into a Victoria’s Secret and purchased a jewel encrusted set of lingerie and he made me feel like a “madam” For wearing that. I’m sexy. I’m hot. I used to model in my younger years.

I don’t have abs anymore but my stomach is flat. My BMI is 19. I’m skinny and sexy and hot. For HIM to make ME feel like a “madam”????

He did NOT deserve to have his dick sucked the way it was. I regret sucking his dick with THAT skill level.

He deserved to have a toothy blowjob. No! He deserved ✨no blowjob at all✨

Spacct · 2021-11-11T18:45:20+00:00

When I was a teenager I started hanging out with a girl who lived down the street. As we got closer I found out that, despite being 18, she was sleeping with a 29 year old guy she'd met at her job. Often at the job itself. She gushed about how he was mature and had a car and could buy her things.

Later, when I started dating an Indian girl, I overheard a conversation her friends were having about guys they wanted to date. Every single one of these 19 year old girls kept going on about how as soon as they were away from their parents they were going to find a guy "at least ten years older!" who was 'established' and could take them places and be the mature man of their dreams who'd passed his 20s and found a career and stability in life.

velvetunderground111 · 2021-11-11T05:09:44+00:00

I was a Chad in my prime who always dated younger, but my experience of what 18-24 year old women want in an "older man" is a dude five to seven years up from them. So at 23 I was dating an 18 year old. At 32, a 26 year old introvert/shy chick. It doesn't seem like younger women (who do want an older, more "mature" guy) go HUGE in how far they date up. It seems like it's within seven to ten years. Last year I was 41 and dating a 29 year old going on 30. So that was like your ten year thing. 20 with a 40 year old is pretty rare, iMO.

purplish_possum · 2021-11-11T02:06:02+00:00

Daddy issues.

quiturbitchn · 2021-11-11T01:45:47+00:00

Naive to the notion that the relationship is purely transactional and not based on mutual love and respect. Men typically just want a hot piece of ass they think they deserve for whatever status they achieved

snowcakey · 2021-11-11T02:04:14+00:00

Shes using him as a wallet or she is being used/manipulated/groomed herself. Or maybe its a genuine relationship.

iamsojellyofu · 2021-11-11T03:08:19+00:00

Not to be mean, but they usually lack a male guardian in their lives.

Expensive-Guitar3609 · 2021-11-11T03:38:12+00:00

Like women.

My fiancee is a year older than me, and previous to me she dated a 28 years old dude when she was 19, and a 36 years old from 21 to 22.

I've met several other cases, most of these girls are just fine. They just like older men.

I think there is a general consensus among the female population that the most attractive men are 28 to 40 years old.

PPD women won't admit it because that's a hard fact to admit as it would fuck with their narrative of "getting it back at men", the same with the incels not wanting to admit that they would absolutely screw a hot promiscuous woman if she only glanced at them.

As a note: my fiancee even stated several times that the only reasson she started dating me was because I was the epitome of what she considers male beauty (good ol' "tall, dark and handsome" thrope... But more ripped and with blue eyes) but she was actually turned off a lot by my age initially, and she would prefer I was at leas 6 or 7 years older. She is firm in that I'm absolutely more good looking now than 8 years ago, since I have grown a beard, got bigger... And have some grey hair to the sides of my head.

As for what is she like... She's smart, acomplished, has her own money and looks wise she's stunning. She was like average when we started dating but has put a ton of effort in looking good since then, and damn she made it.

LotBuilder · 2021-11-11T04:46:54+00:00

I’m 43, Date girls in the mid 20’s. We are into most of the same stuff but I have the money to do it better. I meet most of their friends. Some of there friends have no attraction to older guys and didn’t get it, until we hung out more and they saw fhe advantages. I will say the advice, support and cheerleading you get from a older guy is 300% higher than guys their age.

philomexa · 2021-11-11T06:12:40+00:00

Her name is Megan ( or Ashley, Tiffany, April, Beth, Kayleigh, etc.), she's 23, has dull ashy blonde hair, a 6 year old child, and is about 20-40 lbs overweight. She was rapidly promoted to the night-shift manager at Shoney's because she's exceeding responsible, but she probably flunked out of community college cause she couldn't get reliable childcare. Dad left a long time ago and mom married or dated a series of molesty alcoholics.

She met Bill during the $8.99 chicken fried steak promo. Bill is 41 and has 2 exwives. He may or may not have kids, but when he sees them he's fun dad. Bill has a steady union or trade job. Every year he treats her to a Miranda Lambert concert or trip to Disney World. If he lands a good contract maybe a trip to Cancun. Megan cares for him deeply because he's not an addict, doesn't smack her around, and takes care of her 6 year old. He's handsome for his age, but he's balding, and a bit tubby from all the beer.

During a bout of untreated bipolar mania Megan will cheat on him with her heroin addled babydaddy, but Bill will take her back because this is as good as it's going to get for him, and soon enough she'll realize Bill is a good as it going to get for herself.

Dagenius1 · 2021-11-11T04:23:35+00:00

Ok so I’m going to sorta skew the ages a bit but I’m going to speak from what I see and who I know in this situation. For the sake of this I’m talking about full relationships and not just a hook up here or there.

As I say seemingly every time this topic comes up..men on this forum overstate how often/easy 20 year age gaps happen. They happen but it’s usually fame and/or significant wealth. Women here consistently understate how often 8-12 year age gap relationships happen. Not even with guys that are rich but with guys that are just a step above comfortable.

I live in LA and if you go to upper middle class to affluent parts of town and go to family type restaurants you will see plenty of mid 40s men with early 30s wives and their small children. I can’t speak for where youguys live but those type of families are not at all rare here.

I have a buddy who got baby fever at 41. He was newly single so he basically lead with that on dates. He would classify as well off but not quite rich. He started out with 35 year old women thinking that would be best for him. Eventually he met a wonderful 29 year old and they were with child 6 months later. They got married after their second child. She’s super nice, College educated and at 29 she was looking to settle down. I asked her about the looks that they get from people due to age and she “stopped caring about that” as soon as the baby came. Theirs was a situation where they both happened to meet and have the same degree baby fever.

Related note…if your reading this and you’re dating, man or woman, and you really have baby fever lead with it!!! You’re going to scare some people off for sure but in this case it was music to her ears when told her that he wanted a child more than anything and could definitely afford it. There will be a person out there who is looking for the same thing.

CimZim · 2021-11-11T09:17:06+00:00

My FWB is 15 years older than me. We'd been regular friends since I was 21 and he was 36, we started having sex right before my 24th birthday. I'm currently 35, he's 50.

It was very easy for me to meet him, because most of the nerds and gamers in my area are older men. I'm actually the youngest person in my social circle, my friends are all 8-15 years older. I'm also the only woman but it hasn't always been that way, we have had other female gamers/friends in the past but they've all moved away to more urban areas or other states.

Most late teens and early 20's women socialize with other young women. I have such a hard time imagining how a 30+ year old man will fit into her social group.

Ever since around 8th grade, I've had a lot of trouble maintaining female friendships, which is odd because prior to that I had 50/50 male and female friends and things seemed much easier. It's like turning 13 flipped some kind of switch...idk if in me or them...and suddenly most of the girls I'd grown up with stopped hanging out with me suddenly, or slowly pulled away until I was left with only my male friends. I did try to keep my female friends, but it became obvious they weren't interested in hanging out anymore. So from then on the majority of my friends have been guys, and after high school they've all been older too.

I've lived in the same general geographic region my whole life, never living more than an hour away from my hometown and always preferring the rural/countryside over the busy urban cities. From what others here have said, a lot of younger women tend to move away to cities, so that could be where the majority of female nerds and gamers are. I know they generally aren't up here lol. So it's not like I have a social group of women my age that my FWB needs to fit into...it was me who fit into his, along with us making other mutual friends.

modidlee · 2021-11-11T09:29:06+00:00

I'd say it actually is rare for a younger woman to routinely date mostly older men. I don't think anyone would disagree with that. But I'd also say most younger women are open to dating or being in a relationship with the right older man. The younger women I've dated didn't go around dating older guys on the regular. When they got with me it wasn't because I was older or established or anything. It was simply because I was a guy they found attractive who treated them well. My age wasn't a factor.

michael1962-01 · 2021-11-11T11:00:23+00:00

I am Ltr with a one 37y younger.

Social circles? Yes.

Is she gold digging? Idk. At least she is rich to the point where she doesn't have to work for the rest of her life before she met me.

Explain the Melanie Hamrick/Mick Jagger dynamic or the dynamic of Sunny Ozell / Patrick Steward?

Both spouses end 1 or mid 2 million digit net before the commitment.

My Ltr is hig intelligence, a natural beauty and able to live from passive income.

She (and me) are not as rich as the above - but we are OK.

Explain?

What drives our high libido? What binds us together? Why would anyone initiate a 7 or 8 digit divorce just for someone?

Things are not that shallow as most age gap shamers think.

Skycat9 · 2021-11-11T11:12:28+00:00

I’m male, 37. Throughout my adult life most of my dates and one night stands have been with girls aged 20-23. Sometimes they are a bit older or younger, in the last years I’d say the average was 11 or 12 years younger.

I’m probably what loads of the sociopaths here would call low value. I don’t have money, nor any promising career.

GoodApollo506 · 2021-11-11T15:10:24+00:00

Most of the women I grew up with who ended up with significantly older guys had drug problems and were looking for someone to feed them pills…

CatoftheBanals · 2021-11-11T16:17:21+00:00

OK, so I posted elsewhere that when I was early/mid-20s, most older guys who wanted me as a younger girlfriend wanted a side piece, not a "girlfriend," so I didn't go out/sleep with most of them. I did date a few who were older (7+ years); one was 20 years older. Why? Because when I was young I wanted to be taken seriously. I felt like they took me seriously. I think two did. One pretended to. I felt I could talk about stuff like books, art, New Yorker articles even...whatever. Stuff many guys my age didn't seem to care about.

I also thought older guys were more open to emotional relationships. People my age tended to date around a lot and weren't into long-term or "deep" relationships. But here's where the disconnect came in -- the older guys, particularly the ones who wanted a mistress, really just wanted sex, whereas I wanted an emotional connection. If all I wanted was sex, I'd be having it with a 25-year-old. If all they wanted was an emotional connection, they'd be with someone their own age. So it didn't really work out.

And yes, I did struggle with my physical attraction to the guy 20 years older.

roots_inmy_dreamland · 2021-11-11T17:48:33+00:00

daddy issues, because of money, society has brainwashed women into thinking that older men are somewhat more 'interesting', etc.

My dad is 17 years older than my mom, she lost her dad(whom she loved so much) at 13, go figure.

Cupcakelover1985 · 2021-11-11T18:33:07+00:00

If he’s significantly older they’re either gerontolophiles or vulnerable in some way. If he’s only a few years older they run the gamut.

bradsb129 · 2021-11-11T19:06:40+00:00

I really believe alot of men who date young women have some kind of personality problem or insecurity. Its easy to appear confident and "alpha" to someone who is 10 years younger than you. Ive seen several situations where the 30+ year old guy turned out to be super needy, clingy, and not as high value as the girl thought

Throwaway18077 · 2021-11-11T19:35:23+00:00

I’m a 24 year old girl and have only ever met 3 girls that said they’re interested in older men.

Girl 1 has genital herpes and knowingly passes it to others. Last time we spoke she said that she has $300 to her name but is $10k in debt to lawyers due to a DUI case. I no longer speak to her but when I did, she told me that shes after an older man so she can take his money and admitted that she’d be simultaneously banging a young guy behind his back. I wrote a post about her a while back, she tried pressuring me into her sugar baby lifestyle.

Girl 2 tweets links to her onlyfans all day. Enough said.

Girl 3 won’t shut the hell up about how she has borderline personality disorder. I believe her though, 5 minutes of speaking to her and you can tell she’s mentally ill. She’s my friends friend so I do my best to tolerate her.

Every other girl I know seems to want the same thing. A guy 2-4 years older to settle down with and marry.

The truth is that wholesome, mentally well women don’t need to date men who are twice their age. This is clearly an act of either financial desperation, mental illness or a daddy issue complex.

Prismatic_Symphony · 2021-11-12T07:26:18+00:00

I've encountered several examples. Those I remember off the top of my head:

- 13-yr-old in high school used to brag about her 24-yr-old boyfriend. I was 16/17 at the time and even then, I found that absoulutely gross and crazy. I never saw the guy, so I suspected she was making it up to make other girls jealous. Or that the guy was just a pedophile and she was super dumb for being with him. Her parents were idiots or arguably, downright abusive if he was real, and if he wasn't real, it implies that older guys really are appealing, cause why brag about it otherwise? Either way it didn't reflect well on her choices.

- Multiple other girls in high school lusted after guys a few years older. Freshwomen wanted seniors, junior girls wanted college freshman. I remember this clearly because it was so annoying at the time that I and other guys commiserated about it.

- 12-yr-old had a crush on me when I was in my early/mid 20's. I had no interest, like a normal person, and didn't do anything to encourage it.

- Maybe two others similar to the 12-yr-old who crushed on me, whose exact ages I forget, but around there. It's been kinda funny, but also kinda disturbing, that I often have girls way younger (and way older) into me. Where are the women my own age at?

- Female friend my age was recently dating someone older, and told me how in her 20's she dated a guy in his 60's! She said she preferred older men cause they were more experienced sexually and could give her orgasms. She said that she faked orgasms with younger men (which is incredibly dumb cause how the heck are the men supposed to learn? but whatever.). She didn't specifically mention anything about the older guy's money.

- Woman currently late 20's, who at 15 was involved with a 30-yr-old guy. When I recoiled in shock at the story, she explained that he actually treated her well and had taken her away from a bad home/family situation. So he was actually a heroic ephebophile? I don't even know what to say about that. She seemed to recognize that she was lucky, that it could've been much worse if he'd been abusive or controlling. They're no longer together but they're co-parenting successfully.

- 18-yr-old who I suspect has a crush on me right now. Though it's legal and I'll admit I'm slightly tempted, for various reasons it doesn't seem reasonable. I don't intend to act on it.

And maybe a dozen other times, women in their 20's have told me that they categorically and emphatically refuse to date guys even just a few days younger than them. Some have said things like, "What can a younger guy do for me?" That doesn't mean they want a large age gap, but it is still relevant to note that they definitively want someone older, which is not a normal thing for men to want.

CosmicBioHazard · 2021-11-12T21:24:58+00:00

I know mid-20s women dating early 30s men; the women tend to be, like 23-24 with the maturity of a 28 year old, and the men 31-32 with also the maturity of a 28 year old. That’s not a huge leap forward or backward for either of them, neither of those 4 year differences makes any *real difference. It’s not like the jump between 20 and 24, or the jump between 30 and 34. An age gap that size works when it’s perfectly timed.

YMaedchen · 2021-11-13T10:08:20+00:00

My work colleague is 22 and her boyfriend 40 something. I'd usually find relationships like these weird but I never would've guessed she's that young. Not because she looks like it. I mean she dresses very well and professionell. Well all do at work. But she is so capable at work eventhough she just started. And she seems very mature and smart. Her boyfriend is also a great guy. Same as her very fit, good looking and extremly smart.

I think there is a big difference if someone dates young women because they want a young women or if someone dates a young women because she checks all his boxes.

acornfroggie · 2021-11-11T02:12:31+00:00

I have never met a woman who dates older men since it is so rare. I would imagine daddy issues. She's either a very sad hurt person, or a manipulative schemer.

parahacker · 2021-11-11T04:47:58+00:00

This question is so stupid my teeth hurt.

From someone who dated multiple women a decade or more younger, I'll tell you exactly what younger women are all like.

They're all, like, individuals with completely different backgrounds and life experiences. That's what they're 'all' like.

Why the fuck, people. What the fuck. How is this so goddamned hard for you to swallow? This is not new. It is not uncommon. Did you all grow up on pod people farms? Born in lot jobs and unable to comprehend variety and different life experiences and that a lot of women like older men? And that those women were not all indoctrinated by the same school in the same town by the same administrators? Is that it?

FUCK.

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-11-11T05:49:39+00:00

So a woman chooses out of her own volition to get together with a guy that she likes for whatever reason, because it feels good to her and right to her even if she catches flak from parents and society and somehow something is wrong with these women? Somehow she has no self respect, is damaged or exploited?

IHaveSalesQuestions · 2021-11-11T02:38:42+00:00

Lol this thread is hilarious. I talk to and date women of all ages (mainly 20-34). Some of the younger ones are smarter and more experienced than the older ones. Some aren’t. Some you can tell are well-adjusted and some aren’t.

This idea that mentally ill women are only young is hilarious. Mentally ill women are of all ages. I’ve had brief encounters with many who are much older. Sorry, that just doesn’t disappear when you get older.

This cope by women that all women who date older are traumatized, mentally ill women makes me chuckle. It’s delusional. I don’t have a dog in this fight but it’s patently false to claim that. A good percentage actually know what they want a lot more than the girls their age and know they can get it from someone older. They want to settle down. They’re more experienced and wiser. Some are not. Some are completely clueless.

The most common thing I hear from younger women I talk to is this, “I don’t like guys my age because I find them to be too immature.”

Lateralanouncer · 2021-11-11T02:45:54+00:00

My ltr dating history. At 35m a 21 model (blond) At 37, 26(black) . At 39 27 (brunette)now at 42 36 (asian).

I now date older woman as I found the younger woman want children especially around the 27 mark.

All the woman I ltr are very fit. Friendly nurturing. The type that like to be lead. For example my current is now the manager of a center and is grateful I helped push her I to the role.

cdreh0 · 2021-11-11T03:20:07+00:00

I went on one date with an older man when I was in my late 20s, he was very attractive and offered me exotic trips and other prospects, but he had kids closer to my age than my own age gap with my kids, it grossed me out and I couldn't pursue it further. I was ok financially, there was no need to sacrifice for an older man

VasiliyZaitzev · 2021-11-11T02:34:15+00:00

For those who met women who date older men, what were the women like?

As the TRP Master Blaster of Age Gap Relationships, allow me to explain.

There are three groups of young women:

A. Those that want a man near their own age, say +4 to -2, and anything else is "grody" or whatever the kids say.

B. Those that want the same thing as Group A, but if a Ryan Reynolds or Matthew McConaughey comes along, they are going to give him some.

C. Those young women who actively want an older lover. Usually that means 10-12 years older, but in my case it can be 20 to 30+ years older. Sorry, not sorry, or whatever the kids say. I can make it work and my girls are all volunteers. Nobody else has to like it.

In my case, I am tall, confident, Dominant, accomplished etc. I have a hook in that I write, record and perform (sing) original music, and I play in a beach volleyball league. I would not say I am conventionally handsome - I don't have a 6 pack but I don't have a beer gut overhang, either. Beer is gross; I don't know why people drink it.¹

The the young women who like me tend to be tall(er), usually at least 5'7" and usually 5'9"+, feminine introverts. They want a man who is emotionally stable, isn't jealous, isn't going to fly off the handle, get drunk and puke on the couch and treat them, sexually, like they are a hole in the mattress. They want things calm, and they want a "male-led" relationship, where the man can "handle all problems". They want me to always know the right answer (spoiler alert: typically, I do), and they want, as one put it recently, "the guy to be in charge."²

The women I date trend submissive, and several of them have had hard kinks or secret desires to be slave girls. I can do this for them in a way where they get what they want, safely. Ex. I have a doctor on my roster who has an incredibly responsible job. When she visits me, for the time she spends with me (typically once a month for 4 to 7 days), she is my nude, collared slave girl who is at my beck and call, and serves me sexually and domestically - and she wouldn't have it any other way. Then she goes back to her life and I go back to mine. I keep her secrets, and she keeps mine.

In another case, I dated a co-ed (she was 19 and then turned 20 a month after I met her) when I was 47 - pauses to allow time for Bloopers to have the "vapors" - but it was a more "conventional" relationship (fun, but much less BDSM.) Her friend group was actually pretty accepting of me. I didn't try to act like a guy their age (which would have been a HUGE mistake), or their dad. To them I was more like the "cool uncle." Even if they didn't, I didn't give a shit. I kept the vibe mildly subversive and we all got along fine. They accepted that my gf liked what she liked, and we dated for 5 years.

Oh, I met her parents. Her mum was 10 years younger than me, and her dad was like 3 years younger than me. As you might imagine they weren't thrilled that a man older than they are was plowing their daughter, but they knew she was going to do what (and who) she wanted, and to leave her be. Anyway, he respected me as a man, and her mom actively liked me. We would sometimes all go on vacation together. I think the thing that put me over the top was one spring break. Typically, she didn't go on these but her Senior year she decided to. It was one of those 4 girls in a hotel room splitting 2 dbl beds type deals. I started getting "911" texts the first night - "THEY'RE BRINGING BOYS BACK TO THE ROOM!" Me: "You didn't know your friends were hoes? Because I knew they were hoes."

I figured out that I could get there the next day - I have worked remotely for 10+ years - so I flew in and picked her up and we decamped to the Hyatt Regency (big upgrade from her previous digs). She had fun with her friends during the day and came home to me around dinner time for the evening. They teased her about having to "go home to daddy!" and she responded "You just wish you HAD a daddy!" Anyway, her parents had been getting the same texts I had and were relieved (as by then I was a known quantity) that I had shown up and taken command of the situation. So yeah, competence is a plus.

Do these young women lack social connections with people within their age group? Isolated and naturally more likely to end up with someone older?

Why would you presume something is "wrong" with them? There are people who want different things than you do. It's not up to you to "understand" it or assume something is wrong with them.

¹ Actually I do: it's got alcohol in it and became popular after the Little Ice Age wiped out a lot of the grape harvests across Europe.

² Most humans want someone else to be in charge. "Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown", and all.

³ She does wear a "day collar" when she's away from me (and really, if she doesn't, I don't care, but generally slave girls love, Love, LOVE their collars) and sometimes sends me photos of her wearing it at work, etc.

Devourer_of_felines · 2021-11-11T01:45:00+00:00

Working at a bank or any similar large corporation it’s not unusual to have a circle of friends 10+ years apart in age.

abaxeron · 2021-11-11T22:19:17+00:00

For those who met women who date older men, what were the women like?

One case of significant age gap; knew the couple only online; both were furries.

Knew late 20s guy who fucked troubled teenagers for sport. It's amazing what pedestal a girl is ready to put a guy on if he provides her with a place to stay when she runs away from home.

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PlayfulLawyer · 2021-11-11T04:07:29+00:00

To me it's just about having fun, people say she's just using a guy for his money oh, but he generally doesn't care she's gaining what he wants out of it as well, now if there is a genuine connection to be made that's cool and I hope they have fun, now my wife is 13 years younger than me so I might not be the person to ask but still

And part of it is just biology, women are generally attracted to security / power / someone she can look up to etc., and a guy who is in his 30s who didn't waste their 20s will have some of that while still being attractive

Ohms2North · 2021-11-11T08:46:25+00:00

I’ve dated a few girls who were between 12 and 18 years younger than me. The one that was 18 yrs younger was sweet, caring, seemed normal. The others either left home when they were young and had slightly challenging lives or were a bit pretentious and I suspect felt that they were just too mature and sophisticated for boys their age

Nihi1986 · 2021-11-11T14:09:15+00:00

If we are talking specifically about young women interested on men in their 30's I think it makes some sense and could be explained.

Some young women are insecure, introverted or can't relate much to their age group whatever the reasons. Some men in their 30's, provided good genes, could be at their highest value.

Men in their early 40's can be ok too I guess, but I'd definitely think of the young women interested on them as gold diggers until proven wrong, honestly.

Well I forgot to mention the daddy issues thing but I don't know how common or realistic it is.

Personally the youngest I dated was 7 my junior when I was 32 and it felt ok for the most part but sometimes it just didn't make sense. I can see why a young woman could be interested on an older man without being a gold digger but it seems like a bad idea and completely unnecessary to me. If I can chose I definitely prefer someone around my age but when you are an adult you will end up working and socializing with people from all age groups.

DiamondLilyD · 2021-11-11T14:18:25+00:00

I only ever met one girl who went for an older guy (She was 18, he was 49)

She was a victim of human trafficking, obese, dropped out of school, had several missing teeth.

I honestly felt sorry for her and literally everyone thought it was weird and teased her about it.

ruboyuri · 2021-11-11T16:57:07+00:00

I wanted an adult, instead of a lazy, binge-drinking, grab-ass, crude, bro-ey, indiscreet, bachelor-hovel 20-something

I never got one (came close) but that’s what I wanted

Christian_Kong · 2021-11-11T17:17:40+00:00

From knowing quite a few through friends that were dating them. Honestly they seem to be on the same overall spectrum/variety as any other woman of their age. Perhaps they are a bit more introverted, but I find a lot of women, once dating, become quite a bit more introverted. With that said I don't know them intimately so I could be missing on similarities.

g0juice · 2021-11-11T17:55:25+00:00

It’s pretty normal I guess but I stay super young with gym and diet plus activities I do for fun. It’s a bit odd when her and her friends get together and we all go out the first time or two but after everyone realizes you’re cool it’s fine.

peachycreaam · 2021-11-12T02:34:47+00:00

I mean 30 is not an “old man”. That’s freaking young. Don’t know why this sub thinks that most 30+ year old males are financial engineers living alone, with all this wisdom and life experience.

Of the women I know of who had relationships with older men, they were mostly normal women who just fell for someone older. Not everyone comes from a culture that deems people emotionally immature until 25 or 30.

I also did know of 2 girls who were 19-25 and dated MUCH older men 40+. One had a child with the man. And it’s because they were obese and couldn’t get with any guys their own age.

spinsterchachkies · 2021-11-12T15:26:29+00:00

I think sugar baby

HumanNumber348 · 2021-11-11T23:01:33+00:00

Mentally unwell.

Title	What are the young women who date significantly older men are like?
Author	Demasii
Upvotes	28
Comments	157
Date	November 11, 2021 1:38 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/qr9qau/what_are_the_young_women_who_date_significantly/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-are-the-young-women-who-date-significantly.1084765 https://theredarchive.com/post/1084765

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