What do sexually unsuccessful people want/expect from others when they air their grievances?

Mimoxs · 2021-11-05T00:26:49+00:00

Empathy. That's what people want when posting any experience or frustration online.

LePengwino · 2021-11-05T00:50:39+00:00

Maybe not so much the sexual aspect for me (not that I'm succeeding in that way), but in any case: sometimes I think there's no point talking about it with people too much, because really, what can they do/say? It seems like a non-issue generally, when I think about it. Yeah, so I'm lacking in romantic experience -- it's not like that's anything new. It's been the norm basically my whole life. What exactly am I looking for from people?

Maybe it's just to be heard, even if no one hears, lol. Airing it out can be enough.

baresquad · 2021-11-05T01:05:25+00:00

Pure speculation, but to me I assume sympathy

Like sometimes you’ll see the notion “men need sex to survive!!” adjacent takes on this sub or some women saying they’re forever single because no men want to commit to serious relationships

So I always take it to mean they want their struggle to mean something to others

iamsojellyofu · 2021-11-05T03:46:38+00:00

For women - it is because there is a narrative that women are supposed to be getting attention from men and thus meaning that dating is supposed to be easier for them, right? Well, these women are talking about the experiences of not fitting in the norm of being a beautiful woman. It is really uncommon for women to not be attractive/get positive male attention, so seeing all these statements about how women should have an easier time with men makes them feel like they are being left out because that is not happening to them

In conclusion: it is all about solidarity with other lonely women/people and awareness.

odd_cloud · 2021-11-05T01:31:32+00:00

I think they look for sympathy and ways to understand their situation.

nick1812216 · 2021-11-05T05:22:26+00:00

When I do it or when I see other men do it, I see it as punching a pillow, getting shitfaced, or shouting into the void. You’re just releasing. You don’t really expect solutions or empathy, it just feels better to exorcise pent up feelings.

MasterTeacher123 · 2021-11-05T00:39:27+00:00

There’s a trend of Gen Z women complaining about not having “romantic experiences”?

Neptune-Jr · 2021-11-05T03:20:56+00:00

Nothing they just want to vent.

chalkandapples · 2021-11-05T00:24:18+00:00

Probably someone to validate their experiences

Prize-Many-9406 · 2021-11-05T02:51:53+00:00

Not exactly related, but I stopped bitching to my friends about how unhappy I was with my dating life because no body wants to hear that shit and it gets old

vial_of_music · 2021-11-05T02:16:05+00:00

misery loves company

20Humble5050 · 2021-11-05T03:31:56+00:00

When I complain about my total lack of success (as a guy of average looks and height), my goal is to turn other low-value men away from porn and simping and make them take stock of their own situation. Hopefully, they will subsequently realise that no, it shouldn’t be this bad, and they likely would have had a girlfriend just 15 years ago but are now cut out of the dating market by very recent standards escalation. I honestly don’t think there’s any way we can return to the pre-Tinder paradigm, but the more males that aren’t going to take this torturous situation lying down, the better.

SaBahRub · 2021-11-05T00:27:33+00:00

In that specific case? To feel normal/not alone — me too!

We’re always told that men are dangerously thirsty and will fuck anything, so to not be fucked is very confusing and weird

Philip8000 · 2021-11-05T04:49:22+00:00

I expect for those who have never been in that position, it's hard to understand how painful this can be. Say, if you're in your 30s and you've never had any kind of romantic relationship, those are painful circumstances, and all too often, what you're likely to receive is mockery.

It's how the Red Pill gets its appeal: "This is all you have to do and women will fall at your feet!" Absent that, a sympathetic ear, although all too often, the response is going to be closer to: "Do the world a favor and kill yourself!"

Cupcakelover1985 · 2021-11-05T02:39:42+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Scarypaperplates · 2021-11-05T02:41:29+00:00

I always took those trends to show that issues which are considered rare or personal are notsomuch, I never saw them as expecting anything from it.

BigOblivion · 2021-11-05T13:05:11+00:00

I sympathize with them. I hope they find love.

sunkized · 2021-11-05T02:10:02+00:00

I'm just venting. I have a femcel YouTube channel too. Doesn't do well, but the death threats are pretty fun.

John_Oakman · 2021-11-05T01:53:50+00:00

The modern western secular liberal culture/society supposedly goes along with the mentality that "the squeaky wheel gets the grease" (instead of "the nail that sticks out gets hammered" like in most conservative cultures/societies), thus giving an incentive to complain, as the expectation that society will come and fix the problem/injustice/whatever...

Which is why in such societies you also see conservatives/reactionaries advocate violence (if not acting upon it) more than their liberal/progressive counterparts: they know just bitching about it isn't going to garner sympathy from the other side (or even the neutrals), thus brute force is the only remaining effective option...

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-11-05T02:56:42+00:00

Probs for people to actually listen instead of immediately try to guess what's wrong with them and give unsolicited advice, or just invalidate their experience altogether.

Sarkbee · 2021-11-05T02:08:16+00:00

They want to let it out instead of keeping it inside so it can eat at them

-Giga- · 2021-11-05T14:10:24+00:00

Community which offers validation. Which is a huge deal because you can spend your entire life being told how easy something is supposed to be but your personal life is nothing like that. It's crazy making.

I run a few of them. And they seek do so bc while men run around here wanting to burn it all to the ground bc of their sexlessness loneliness, women can not discuss loneliness without being gaslit or dismissed.

People act like a basic skill of womanhood is having men everywhere fall over you with adoration. Like it's impossible to not have a good man doting upon you and if you have a hard time pulling this, you're fundamentally defective with high standards and need to humble yourself

Women are seen in relation to men's sexuality. All that matters is she lower her standards enough to secure any man and that is usually done by offering sex. If she is attractive and high value enough she still is supposed to do the same but she gets to want what she wants. To a degree.

Notice that the women you're seeing are often not even unattractive like that. So many responses will confirm their claims

For ever handful that does post in these mediums will be all the women who know better than put their face out there due to ostracization, deformity, complex issues.

You can always tell who doesn't give a fuck about a woman or the outcome when they say hop on Tinder or I'm sure she has high standards. Like women aren't people, or get to not want to be used for sex, or can't have pain.

They aren't asking you for anything, that's a male MO. They are just pointing out and discussing with others something that always existed during a time where being vulnerable in public is more socially acceptable.

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szclimber · 2021-11-05T00:45:31+00:00

Many things but a solution to the problem is what they want deep down. If such a solution exists.

SabineLavine · 2021-11-05T10:17:59+00:00

I don't know, but it's pathetic.

PaidByPutinBot123 · 2021-11-05T12:12:36+00:00

Guidance.

As a guy, I was unsuccessful until I was. Experience is what was needed and guidance helps that. But for those born destined to be unsuccessful, there is still good advice out there. EX: if you have a niche, find a market that needs that niche.

For your point, I would say to them "If you want something, you need to work bitch (Hey britany). If you want a fit man, be fit, wealthy, be wealthy, charming, be charming, tall, be tall."

That eliminates about 50% of people's problems right there.

spinsterchachkies · 2021-11-06T05:53:55+00:00

I think we live in world where people share everything with strangers now. Even stuff they probably shouldn’t. I call it “oversharing”. It’s a result of social media I think. I feel bad for people with these issues. Some I will try to help, but most I don’t bother with because they are too weird.

Lonelybuthopeful9 · 2021-11-05T10:25:42+00:00

Woman can get romantic experiences if they want, they just lying for attention.

I on the other hand only want people to stop lying like its my fault that i am romantically unsuccessful.

Like no Jared, the reason I dont get laid is not because I dont take showers, or I have a bad personality (in a world where literal criminals get laid (consensually) easily ).

I dont want your sympathy, I just want people to stop believing just world fallacy.

Some people get a worst deal in life because of things they cant control, and that is completely normal, you blaming this people for their bad lives however is not okay.

poppy_blu · 2021-11-05T06:27:19+00:00

Just like the manopshere, they want to be validated in their belief that none of it is their fault and that they are victims of the opposite sex.

Theres always been plenty of people like this. Gen Z didn’t start it.

Here’s something PPD needs to understand: what has always separated the winners from the losers in life — the winners take action to change their situation, and the losers sit around and complain that life isn’t fair.

M_LaSalle · 2021-11-05T05:42:03+00:00

Whatever it is they want/expect they aren't going to get it.

Being romantically unsuccessful is going to end up being your cross to bear. No one is going to carry it for you, and the people who don't carry it have no idea how heavy it is. So in the end, I suspect complaining about lack o fromantic/sexual success is likely to just make it worse. The pain of being unsuccessful is compounded when it turns out that basically no one gives a shit.

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-11-05T06:00:02+00:00

Look, I feel a lot of empathy for guys who are not successful romantically. While I lost my virginity at 16 and had a girlfriend for a year and half, the rest of my teens and early 20s were much more frustrating and lonely. So I feel for these guys. I have been there!

But, I made a decision to stop feeling sorry for myself and fix what needed to be fixed and go out and start meeting women and getting laid and getting into relationships.

The issue is that by the time these guys come to PPD, they have spent years and years on incel and black pill subs, their brain wires have been totally messed up and tangled and a lot of them are beyond repair. They are like a one track record player. "OLD is stacked against men, looking like Chad is all that matters, hypergamy", over and over and over and over. Their capacity to accept new information and evidence that questions their screwed up world view and view of themselves has basically diminished to the point of not being functional anymore.

So at one point, normal people just get frustrated and angry with yet another guy who posts about how picky women are and how 95% of men will die sexless and how only your height and jawline mater. What do you these guys expect?

Kentucky_Supreme · 2021-11-05T12:25:05+00:00

I actually saw a girl post on Facebook saying that she's worried that she'll "never find love". Rolled my eyes pretty hard because she's cute as hell and probably gets tons of male attention. I used to know her in college.

She probably just wanted likes and comments of reassurance. Although her issue is most likely her own unrealistic standards keeping her single. Like most modern women with dating "struggles".

Individual-March8163 · 2021-11-05T13:23:01+00:00

Empathy I'm guessing, when men do it they get called an whiny incel or whatever so it's not much different the other way round, possibly slightly worse.

LadyM2 · 2021-11-05T01:20:57+00:00

Are you kidding me? All I see from Reddit is guys whining day in and day out that they cannot get laid. When did you see girls complain about that? What a joke.

-Ivar-TheBoneless · 2021-11-05T02:19:34+00:00

What else can they be trying to do except trying to convince others to date them. That or get people to overlook their pasts since you said that it was among older gen z.

superlurkage · 2021-11-05T06:59:23+00:00

People just share more on social media now, especially women. They’re just looking for validation that they’re not alone/abnormal/weird/bizarre. At least, that’s what I get from the links you posted.

Which is good in that they don’t feel alone, but not so good when they echo chamber and egg each other on

DontwantaFairOne · 2021-11-05T15:01:48+00:00

Validation, usually in the form of agreement of “can’t get a relationship because opposite gender”

Fit-Photograph1646 · 2021-11-05T15:45:40+00:00

A plan mostly. Alot of dudes aren't exactly honest and alot of women are exactly nice. If you are lost and have nowhere to turn to, this where they go.

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-11-05T17:29:45+00:00

I assume they want some mix of sympathy, validation and just the ability to vent

chilikettlechips · 2021-11-05T00:27:29+00:00

It's a validation distress call like in Rick and Morty to assemble all the queens to tell them, yes queen, "they're here if they need to talk" and yes they're better off alone than to lower their standards (they never say what they are).

WheelIntelligent1354 · 2021-11-05T10:10:35+00:00

Empathy and attention.

S0mnariumx · 2021-11-06T03:46:36+00:00

Sympathy and recognition.

I'm kind if surprised about the topic if your post. Older gen Z women don't experience any romance? Is it because gen Z guys are so checked out/thirsty?

I'm a millennial and I'd romance some chicks from X (younger), Z or my own generation. Are zoomer guys not like that?

Blackheart201992 · 2021-11-05T11:04:15+00:00

We don't expect anything from women, we just want to air our grievances - in fact, we'd be perfectly happy to see all the women here leave the board and return to FDS where they belong, instead they linger like a bad smell.

silent36 · 2021-11-05T12:14:31+00:00

They want to change the behavior of others but we all know how that goes.

AnabolicPenguin · 2021-11-05T14:03:27+00:00

Gems of info maybe they haven't thought about. HOPE. Point out hypocrisy

Prestigious-Mud-1304 · 2021-11-05T16:40:21+00:00

Empathy and not have someone invalidate your experiences.

Also the Just World narrative, It bugs me and most unattractive people I've met, there's nothing Just about human relationships, no one gets what they "deserve" and being sexually attractive isn't a skill.

Title	What do sexually unsuccessful people want/expect from others when they air their grievances?
Author	Cupcakelover1985
Upvotes	57
Comments	230
Date	November 5, 2021 12:22 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/qmyt47/what_do_sexually_unsuccessful_people_wantexpect/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-do-sexually-unsuccessful-people-wantexpect.1085856 https://theredarchive.com/post/1085856

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