'Body count': Do people count and what even matters?

Commercial_Place9807 · 2021-12-22T14:57:55+00:00

I was a late bloomer. I’d like to dispel the myth that women are praised for being virgins. When they’re young yes, but at a certain age it becomes a liability. Too many and you’re a whore, too few and you’re a weirdo. I also can’t say for certain where that line is. I just know around my mid-20’s I noticed that I had become a “freak”. Women really can’t win.

I’m engaged now and did have a few sexual partners prior to my fiancé, all of whom I regret and were just to “get it over with” more or less so I could acquire some experience.

An interesting note, I was discussing “body count” with a group of friends one evening and a friend’s husband speculated that since I was a feminist mine must be high.

I just thought it was funny that the libfem movement has so strongly equated feminism with promiscuity.

That of all the goals the libfem movement sought and fought for the one that really hit home and made its mark was sexual liberation, so the one that benefits men. Not equal pay, not women’s health and safety, not reproductive freedom, nope, you get to fuck lots of men now! Congrats!/s

notochord · 2021-12-22T14:36:26+00:00

I don’t really have an opinion on it but think the phrase “body count” is incredibly dehumanizing and disrespectful to the people you’re being intimate with.

Equipoisonous · 2021-12-22T15:52:44+00:00

Lol if it only counts if I have an orgasm, then I'm a virgin.

Seriously though, I've only had one guy ask me what my number was, and he was the worst sex I've ever had. The only guy who didn't even attempt to go down on me. And he just jackhammered without seeming to know what a clit was. When I asked him about it, he claimed all the women he'd been with didn't need anything else. What a scrote.

EmpyrealMarch · 2021-12-22T21:10:17+00:00

I like to know because I feel like it offers insight into how that person views sex. If it's higher they are more of the pro-casual sex type and if it's lower they are the save "sex for relationships" type.

For guys sex = PIV or Anal. It's a lot easier for guys to orgasm but I feel like generally if their dick entered an orifice it counts. I don't really see a problem with that.

I respectfully disagree with the idea of saying "if I didn't orgasm, it doesn't count." I get where you are coming from, it's from a place of prioritizing personal pleasure. But imo it comes off as a way of deflating ones body count than anything. It kind of feeds into the the idea that low body counts are desirable and higher ones are something to be ashamed of.

( As an aside, it would be kind of shitty if this was really our standard of having sex. Imagine exposing your cheating husband for having sex with someone else and he was liked, I mean yeah I stuck my dick in her but I didn't finish so it doesn't count. Boo-fucking-hoo)

I think the problem/controversy with body counts is the hypocritical attitude. Guys would be proud of each other to racking up points but count it against women for doing the same thing. People would set an arbitrary # like ten as the limit and the second you pass that you are a hoe. The Black and white thinking combined with inconsistent thinking is something that needs to be separated from the pretty neutral idea of a body count.

Heather619 · 2021-12-22T16:05:07+00:00

When I'm asked this question, I respond with "That's a misogynistic question used to judge women" and I'll usually offer some other fun facts about my sexual history, such as: I've never been pregnant. Never had an STI. Get tested every month when I'm sexually active. Never cheated on a partner.

Do I keep track? Yes. Do I keep that number to myself? Also, yes.

Madholley · 2021-12-22T13:38:11+00:00

We shouldn't count. It's weird and bizarre and based on the male idea that women should be "pure." If a man asks this, I know he has strange ideas about women. BUT...I love the idea of only counting sex that leads to orgasm. That's the only thing we should be counting. Sorry, little man who didn't understand foreplay, you didn't make the list.

ifhewantedtohewould · 2021-12-22T12:27:17+00:00

Bodycount is just how many people you have had sex with. Men love to brag about it yet women are shamed for it. If a man asks your bodycount, block him. It’s gross and a dehumanising term.

mareetran · 2021-12-22T12:36:46+00:00

I’d be a virgin if body count was only men who truly made me cum, LMFAOOOOOOOOOO DAMN

edit 1: the few times I have been very close though have been with a man who ate me out like a full course meal. generously giving a lady oral is often the best way to get her off

electroloop · 2021-12-22T13:49:23+00:00

“Is it a partner who we orgasm with?”

This is exactly what red pill bullshitters caw about to other men. They call women “sluts” and “used goods” for not being honest about their body count and assume we’re looking for ways to avoid the amount of men we’ve had PIV sex with by the orgasm schtick.

At least they know they can’t make us cum. Clown world. 🤡

Liz_Lemondrop · 2021-12-22T13:57:55+00:00

I refuse to count, and I doubly refuse to share that number. There is no net benefit for women to even attempt to calculate or communicate it. No woman has ever been praised for a body count unless it was zero, because our society fetishizes virginity and shames female sexuality.

Let's go with my body count of good, attentive lovers: 1 (my husband).

sleepysiri · 2021-12-22T15:02:59+00:00

A decent man wouldn’t think to ask such a childish and strange question. What will he do with that knowledge? Lmao.

Thestral-glow6 · 2021-12-22T14:14:05+00:00

All the scrotes are furiously down voting this post and comments, lmao 🤣

Ashamed-Reputation-2 · 2021-12-22T16:09:09+00:00

I don't respect men that ask and I will never answer them and it also doesn't matter. They use it to calculate how much they wanna respect you/put in effort. But I will judge men that have like 50+ and they are only in their mid 20s like wtf.

And I also don't even remember, because I simply don't care anymore. But out of my estimate, i only orgasmed with 5 -7 so thats what imma go with lmao. I find it hilarious but weird when men get so mad when you say "I only count the men that made me cum". Selfish lovers deserve to be written off and forgotten, you would only find it offensive if you fit the description. The desperation to be counted is pathetic tbh

2340000 · 2021-12-22T14:18:57+00:00

I measure it by how many people I've had any sexual contact with🤷. Sexual contact is a serious matter. I also count kisisng. I don't want to count my first sexual "experience" because I was coerced over the span on 3 months, but I do anyway.

For any man I'm dating, I prefer him to have identical sexual encounters. We aren't compatible if they've done x,y,z. If I can't discuss it with him, why am I with him?

And yes, for women it's different. My preferences aren't rooted in sociopolitical misogyny.

GlitteryMoss · 2021-12-22T16:21:49+00:00

My body count is a positive integer but off the top of my head I don't remember; oral sex counts, and anyone who gives you an orgasm counts.

I never saw the point of sex if I was not going to get off.

frustratedanon123 · 2021-12-22T23:53:00+00:00

If a man asks you this as an adult he is asking only to have ammunition to later use to dehumanize and degrade you with. I haven't been asked this since we were all giddy teenagers excited and curious about sex. How fucking old are we? I am an adult woman with a career and a mortgage. How dare ANYONE outside of my gynecologist or a very close girlfriend ask me such personal information? If you don't volunteer that you are a virgin and want to wait for that reason there is no reason for this discussion to even be raised.

randomgirl34861 · 2021-12-22T14:40:53+00:00

I have a “body count” of 4 (I consider penetrative sex to be “sex”) and I’m 28. I’m honestly proud of that because if we stop giving men sex easily society would improve and I feel like I did my tiny little part in that. I don’t ever judge woman’s numbers because I feel if a woman has a big number she was probably victimized (like maybe she had unhealthy thought patterns, mental illness, low self esteem, abusive men, felt unsafe saying no) and hurt/used by a lot of people… but if a man has a high number he was probably a player or abuser who hurt a lot of people. When a guy says he “only” has like 20 I gasp a little gasp and say I didn’t realize he was a whe. I don’t think that makes them one. I just like to make them **big mad.

likearealreptile · 2021-12-22T16:45:38+00:00

omg, can we stop saying “body count” already?? it’s so dehumanizing.

beautifullymodest · 2021-12-22T14:21:48+00:00

This has actually become a thing for teenage girls starting in middle school through highschool. Its concerning.

It terrifies me that there are 8th grader girls out there with a "body count" of 30+ and at 33, I'm only 1/3 that.

herbivorouscarnivore · 2021-12-22T16:30:57+00:00

I keep track, and, like many people raised in the a Catholic community, I only count PIV (lol)

If I’m being honest, I am concerned about a man’s “body count.” Sisters, raise your hand if you’ve ever dealt with a man who “doesn’t need to wear a condom, because he only sleeps with clean girls” or whines about wearing a condom because it doesn’t feel as good. I think that the higher a man’s count is, the less likely he is to have taken precautions.

ewokblubber · 2021-12-22T16:02:03+00:00

I think how you count (PIV, only people who made you orgasm, anything else) makes no difference. I also think you don't have to count.

Mainly, I think it's important not to overshare such information with new partners, and to be mindful of whether and why a new partner is asking. I'd consider it an orange flag at best, a red flag at worst, if any partner displayed anything but the most passing of interests in how many previous partners I have had- and that's not because I'm hiding anything, it's because of how men who care about that sort of shit usually see women.

With men, I think how many people they have slept with is equally unimportant. What's more important is that their 'number' is a) not extreme and b) how it came to be. If he's only slept with two people, but those were two one night stands without condoms and he got Chlamydia from them both, his 'body count' being low has no bearing on him evidently being sexually useless.

LadiesOpinion · 2021-12-22T13:02:13+00:00

I'm WLW so I thought about what "counts" a lot, since there are zero penises involved.

I count it as sex if either my or her genitalia have been touched directly by the other party, underneath clothing, with intent of mutual pleasure. No penetration or orgasm required. Could be touched with a hand, leg, mouth, toy...

Grey areas like mutual masturbation, or touching genitalia over clothing, I'd count as sexual experiences, not sex.

kansascitydream · 2021-12-22T14:07:08+00:00

I only count PIV, and it has to be consensual. Any time I was coerced , I do not count it.

vaporwav3r · 2021-12-23T06:18:55+00:00

I count.. have a list too lol I once saw a funny video on IG where a girl said don’t count guys where it’s less than 5 minutes nor guys that you fucked for money or sugar daddy’s.. “that’s a job.” 😂😂

I pretty much count, if he put it in and pumped, even if he didn’t finish. My body count does not matter to me AT ALL. Though I do keep it private. I don’t care about it being high by their standards. It makes me feel like my pimp hand 🤚🏽 is strong!

shutup201 · 2021-12-22T19:15:11+00:00

I think it's up to you on who you count or if you count. Only you know why you're having sex and you're the only one who has to live with your sexual history so you decide how you want to carry it or share it. Also, so much sexual contact is either forced, coerced, manipulated or unwanted...it's better to put all of that in a different category so it doesn't ruin sex for you imo. Some guys really don't deserve to be counted so don't count them.

East-Willingness513 · 2021-12-23T01:53:44+00:00

I find that women who have a high body count usually have trauma and use sex as a way to self medicate, men who have high body counts are predators.

Men and womens body counts mean different things, I wouldn’t judge a woman for having a high body count if she was actively working on herself and critically thinking about why she felt the need to sleep around but I was judge a man 100%.

melympia · 2021-12-22T13:21:51+00:00

Well, if only orgasms from PIV counted, my incredibly high body count of 4 would be halved... Literally.

But I think that's not what matters. Ask any homosexual or bisexual lady. There's more to a body count than PIV (with or without an orgasm).

CroneRaisedMaiden · 2021-12-22T20:27:03+00:00

I lie, and it’s a red flag when a male asks.

JadeBaby2211 · 2021-12-22T20:38:32+00:00

Its genuinely weird that men keep a tally on this because ive slept with around 10 people, I think, im not even sure about its accuracy because there are plenty of partners I'd like to forget, and a lot weren't memorable. I get tested for STIs when I'm sexually active, my "BoDy CoUnT" is under 15, what more do you want from me??? Men out here keeping excel sheets full of women AND ITS CREEPY. Men who care about body count don't get regularly tested for STIs, so I don't see the point🤷‍♀️

StarbornDancing · 2021-12-23T07:14:26+00:00

I don't count. There's experiences to remember and some you'd rather never remember. Trying to work out what to think about and what to count does my head in. It's the past and nobody else's business. I don't want to spend a second on past guys out exes who don't deserve even a millisecond of thought.

Counting how many and being active about "raising your count" is like mcdonalds sex - quality doesn't matter just the sheer number. And that says enough about never ever wanting to have sex with them because they don't focus on quality.

I feel like if men are obsessed with high numbers then the only one they should count is the number of women they've given an orgasm minus the number of women they've lied to or tricked. Most of them would have to cope by pretending that they're playing golf.

If women were to count (for those that enjoy that) then the experiences you're happy to remember that left you feeling fufilled, happy and where you orgasmed.

oi_oi_oink · 2021-12-22T16:58:53+00:00

Honestly, any form of intimate touch, I do count it. I count men I've kissed, had any type of sexual contact with and had PIV sex with.

I think men have a very clear definition of body count because apparently, sex is over when the man is done. Meanwhile, men didn't even give a shit about women's pleasure up till a few years ago. "The emphasis on her pleasure" became a mainstream thing very recently, and even now men will just talk about it, they still treat women the same.

LR_today · 2021-12-22T17:28:05+00:00

If we go with men who make us orgasm I'm at a solid body count of 4.

gamerguuuurl · 2021-12-22T20:06:45+00:00

Anyone that uses the word body count is LV man or woman. I don’t have a “body count” I have people I’ve been intimate with, that I’ve loved, and that I’ve trusted. I’m a human being with a romantic and sexual history not a mass murderer with a “body count”

Title	'Body count': Do people count and what even matters?
Author	BooksandEarlGreyTea
Upvotes	348
Comments	102
Date	December 22, 2021 11:56 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/rm3q8s/body_count_do_people_count_and_what_even_matters/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/body-count-do-people-count-and-what-even-matters.1091187 https://theredarchive.com/post/1091187

Comments